Introducing Adam Tallamy and the Hero Process

So hello, my name is Adam Salmi and I am 45 years old. I live in London and I am a life coach. And I'm also the founder and creator of the Hero process, which I'm going to be talking about a lot on this channel and the Hero process is basically a way to find happiness, a way to find and live your life purpose and ultimately it's a way to get what you want. And it's called the Hero process because really it enables you to take charge of your own life to put the power back firmly in your hands and it gives you a set of tools and a methodology of process which will allow you to achieve all of those things. And once you have learnt it you can put your mind to pretty much anything and it will help you to get there. So I just wanted to give you a bit of background to myself just to set the scene I suppose tell you how I got to this place and why it's important to me to now share it with you guys. So I grew up in Suffolk in the East Coast of England. I went to school in Sonny Norwich in Norfolk and I basically have spent most of my adult life striving for success. I spent a fair chunk of that failing. I've spent virtually all of it working really hard and that kind of culminated in me setting up a recruitment company in 2001 which I ran for about 13-14 years. A partway through those 14 years I actually had a breakdown or a burnout if you prefer. Essentially I couldn't work for two years. I couldn't talk about money, couldn't talk about business, I just couldn't handle it at all and the energy would literally run out of me if you started talking to me about it or if I had mentioned it even. So it was a really long road to recovery but it was also the best thing ever happened to me because my life, although from the outside, from the external look great, internally there were issues and the story that I always tell is I was running my recruitment company, had about 14 people working for me at the other peak and I was driving a lovely sports car. I had a big house in Greenwich and externally everything looked great. Inside was a different story, although to be honest I didn't really realise it at the time. So it took me to have the breakdown to really realise what was going on with my life and it's not to say there hadn't been signs because they had but I had ignored them or just not understood them. Certainly not like I would do now. So what was a science? Well I had mushrooms growing out of a crack in my shower tray. And that sounds like some sort of really dodgy metaphor but it's really not. I literally had mushrooms, multiple mushrooms growing out of a crack in my shower tray. And what did I do about that? You know that could happen, you could get a crack in the shower, not deal with it for a while, mushrooms grow, okay. Did I do that? No. How long did they stay there for probably six to nine months? And I had a clean out of the time who even she didn't seem to bother with them which is weird thinking about it but every night again she would cut them back but did I get the shower tray replaced? No I didn't. They would then grow back. And I would just have a shower with the mushrooms being there. Like so why did I do that? I did it for a couple of reasons. Primarily I think because I was so focused and so needy and desperate to have success. That I couldn't and wouldn't allow myself to be distracted in any way, shape or form. So it was all about striving to get more success. So that's point one but point two and perhaps more importantly really I was hiding from myself in my business. So I was hiding from myself. What I didn't like to do and what I struggled with for many years is socializing, hanging out with friends, spending too much time with family. And it's not there's anything wrong with any of them. They're lovely people, all of them but I found it to quite intense. It felt a little bit threatening to me and my preference would be just to stay at home and watch TV or do nothing in my social life. Now what having the business of that me to do was to create this busy world which I could kind of get lost in. And what I would do is I'd get myself so knackered. So tired that by come the weekend I'd be too tired to go out on a Friday night. So that would rule Friday night out. Saturday I would work most Saturdays so I was kind of mini workaholic. And then sort of Saturday night might go out but if I could get out of it I absolutely would do. So I'd created this kind of world for myself where I kept myself as safe as possible. I think a lot of people do that in some way shape or form right. They either hide in work or some people hide in and behind their children. You know they have children, some that's all about the children. They don't have to have to have to have to have to show themselves who they really are or talk about their stuff and that was exactly how I was. So yeah so that went on for many years until I had to break down and there was a second sign and that was that in my flashy sports car at the time I'd had a red warning light flashing on and off. Literally I can't believe this now saying it but it literally been going off for a couple of months and I hadn't done anything about it and it was just late on a Sunday night and I had a meeting where I was going to have to drive around the main ring road around London the M25 first thing that morning on the Sunday morning and for a meeting. So I better do something about that warning light. So I looked it up, I filled up, I can't remember what it was now, it was a water or oil maybe, but I filled it up and so if I say it obviously didn't work because the next morning the warning light was still on, I drove around the M25, I've got about halfway around, it's manically busy, colds or crisp morning and my engine on my car literally blew up. There was smoke everywhere, I was able to pull out to the other side of the road to the side of the road and in a rescue recovery vehicle came out and literally said you've literally the engine has melted. So at the time I didn't know anything about signs or I didn't read anything into things, but if you think about it now those two examples are the perfect metaphor really, there was something needed to be dealt with that was inside me that I was avoiding at all costs and just working around, that was the mushrooms by the way and then there's the warning light, there's like I had been ignoring the warning signs that there was something wrong and needed to be addressed, I hadn't really addressed it and what happened is eventually I kind of exploded and lo and behold I had a breakdown or a burnout so it's exactly the same sort of same thing when you think about it. So the breakdown was literally the best thing ever happened to me and some people find that a little bit strange but what it allowed me to do was it allowed me to pause and it allowed me to take time out for myself and stop because I never did that, I kept myself really busy and what getting really busy allowed me to do was to not ever have to really look at how I felt or to ever have to deal with anything and I having had time to pause it allowed me to think why am I doing what I'm doing in life? Why am I running this company? I was still quite a young guy, I was sort of early 30s and why am I doing this? None of my peers are doing very few are doing anything called remotely similar and frankly it's taken over my completely my whole life and yeah I'm doing quite well, I was making good money at the time just prior to the breakdown although it was six months, nine months after the 2007 crash so it was an interesting time but nevertheless things were still pretty good and the answer that I eventually came to was that I didn't feel loved enough and that might sound like. jump I didn't get there immediately it wasn't like a bolt lining but I realized that I wasn't I wasn't happy with who I was and I didn't feel loved enough now who by you might ask well actually it and he's fully aware of this so I'm happy to share this came back to I personally didn't feel loved enough by my dad and on some level as a kid I chose to sort of shut down a little bit towards him and and yet subconsciously I spent my whole life trying to get his attention trying to impress and please him and his language of love if you like was money and success and we you know we used to sit around the dinner table and rather than talk about emotions we talk about money and business and success so only natural that I would take on that same approach and mental so there I am trying to make more and more money and there were times when I was making crazy money doing a group of men at the time is a bit like a gold rush but there were all the times when it didn't go so well and what I did then was I tried to work even harder or even harder again but in more hours higher more people tried to grow the company even more and the company did grow was really successful but I had no focus on profit and I remember really clearly there was one night when a friend of mine an old friend said to me so how's the business going I said oh brilliant we've just hired another three people or two people and we're up to 14 now we've got two offices he was like oh wow that's great but what about profit and literally that that was like a bottom of the blue it was like probably the first time in every profit they've even registered and that old saying that what is it that profit is sanity and tone of it is vanity it just waits so true because it wasn't about the making money money was important but really it was about hey look at me aren't I doing well please please love me so what happened then is I'd had the breakdown and I wanted to get better so I tried everything you can imagine over the next two years everything from the mainstream from counselling through to you know massage through to you know walking right the way through to what you might consider or some might consider the weird and the wacky I tried loads of different healing things I tried crystal healing she had to massage I tried soul work I tried rakey I tried lots of different things and life alignment was one that I tried and got really into it was really great I also tried family constellations which was also super powerful so I tried you know you know I tried it pretty much and and I found that in most of those healing things there's there's some truth or a lot of truth actually and I kind of went on this journey inside to find out having realized that I didn't fall loved enough it's like well why is that the case and what actually can you do to change that and what I realize is you can only change it on the inside and actually it wouldn't have mattered my dad did love me and it wouldn't have mattered had he loved me lots more because deep down I just didn't feel it inside myself even as a little boy so that seemed to be one of the challenges that I came in with for whatever reason and yeah so you can't feel it externally even if I had been become the next Richard Branson or got really successful made billions I still would not have filled that hole and the only way you can feel it is by going inside and by healing the parts you that don't feel good enough so yeah so I worked on it and worked on it over those two years and subsequently to try and develop more of a more of a sense of feeling good and how do you do that you you focus on the parts you that don't feel good you focus on the parts you that don't feel loved you look to the inner child you you identify the emotions that feel unloved or unlovable or sad or depressed or rejected and there are lots of different healing tools out there you could use but the one that I use now is called feel it and feel it is one of the things that I've talked about a lot on on this channel and and it's it's what I love about it actually is it's a tool that you can once you've learnt it which you can learn really quickly you can then go away and apply that to your own life forever forward so it's not that you need to go and pay to see a coach or a counselor or a healer each time something comes up this tool puts the power back firmly in your hands so you can work on it for yourself and deal with emotion sometimes even when they first arise so it's super powerful and that if you like is the engine room of the hero process and the hero process is the other thing that I'm going to talk a lot about and the hero process is a more all encapsulating sort of methodology which basically allows you to identify what it is you want and then to move towards it so it will help you to develop your intuition and how to teach you how to follow your heart it will teach you how to see what's really beneath the blocks and the issues and the challenges you have so we might think that it's one reason so let's say I don't know Joe blog says something that upsets me okay so we might be angry about that angry towards Joe blogs but it's never really about Joe blogs that's just the gift if you like and you will start to see it as a gift to show you what's really going on inside yourself what is the part of you that didn't feel good enough that felt hurt by what Joe blog said and using feel it then you can then change that part of you can literally get rid of the button so it's no longer there to be pressed and ultimately the hero process will help you to get what you really want in life it will kind of kind of puts the power back in your hands as I said it gives you the tools and the methodology to really take back control because you know ultimately life is dictated by what's happening within us internally everything is a reflection of our inner world so if you have the tools to change how you feel inside about yourself change how worthy you feel change how deserving you feel of good things if you change your beliefs about the world and you know whether the world's good or bad or a dark place or whether good things come to good people you know whatever it is that your beliefs are you can change actually all of them and you do that using a feel it process by just tuning into the emotion that is underlying how you feel about these things so I've seen people completely change like like beyond unbelievable sometimes I had one client who came to me who initially she very business focused she wanted her to make a million pounds and we worked with her but she really wasn't very happy she was probably a three or four out of ten happy and after about I think it took about seven months of one-to-one coaching she got to a place where she was ten out of ten happy and that's that's her default level doesn't mean she didn't go up and down a little bit sure you know stuff comes up but that's just the measure that we use with this work to to know when we're a little bit off when there's something there that needs to be addressed so that's a question that with the hero process I ask myself every day and if it's only a nine I mean nine is pretty happy right but if it's only a nine then that means that there's something there that I need to have a little look at and to work on and clear again using the Philip process so yeah so so this particular client where she ended up getting to is she suddenly overnight just came into a coaching session the next day she said do you know what I don't want to make a million pounds anymore she said I just feel really happy as I am now and actually what I would really love to do what would make me feel even more joyful would be to help a million people and that tends to often be the transition it's like we go from being it all about us and make a million pounds to being about I should I feel so good I feel so full I love myself I feel worthy deserving now because I feel that way I'm not so worried about getting the million pounds anymore be great if it happened but actually my focus really is to help other people because everyone should feel this way I mean wow what what a transition so yeah so that that is the hero process and what my intention really is to bring more videos more podcasts about how it works I'm going to be doing interviews with people who have gone through the process I'm going to interview some people who had just recently started out in the process so they can share their you know short-term experiences even and the goal really is to uplift and inspire people. I want to actually really, if I'm honest, the big goal is I want to inspire 100 million plus people to change, to give them all the tools, all the techniques that they need in order to do that. When on that goal first came to me because it kind of dropped in one day, it was a bit like, well, that's pretty big and pretty daunting and scary, but actually, then my whole journey has been around kind of getting to a place where actually I could potentially do that. So I'm in the process now of finishing the final draft of the Hero Process book. We are also about to launch a 30-day feel it training program, which will be online. So there's lots of things coming through now, which will enable me to kind of reach a wider audience and I've overcome my fears about being seen, which basically means I can do these videos. Whereas before absolutely no way could I've done it. It took me a long time to clear that stuff because using these tools, you can't clear anything, but we all have some patterns that aren't very deep. We have some that are very deep and not being seen, if you're being seen, was probably my biggest pattern. But I know having cleared that, that you can go and work on anything and come out the other end successfully. So in a way, that was an amazing part of my journey and it gave me the inspiration to know that this stuff really, really works. So yeah, so that's me. That's the Hero Process. I hope that gives you a little bit of a flavour as to what to expect. And yeah, I look forward to you joining us on some of the upcoming shows. And please subscribe and like. And you know, if you're getting good value out of it, please do tell your friends. The more every extra person is another step towards 100 million people. So thank you very much and happy listening.