INTIMACY 30 - Day 13 : The Elements Of Intimacy (The Element Of Separation) - Pastor Ayo Ajani

13m 47s

This teaching presents separation as the third essential element of intimacy, following knowledge and strong desire. The speaker argues that real intimacy with God is impossible without deliberate separation, defined as setting aside definite times to withdraw from people and worldly distractions to be with the Lord. Using the natural analogy that deeper communication of love and affection requires greater privacy, the message shows that intimacy demands intentional disconnection from the world. Jesus serves as the primary template. The speaker cites numerous scriptures, including Luke 5:16, Mark 1:35, Luke 6:12, Matthew 14:13, Mark 6:31, and the garden of Gethsemane, to demonstrate that Jesus frequently, consistently, and deliberately withdrew to lonely places to pray, even amid intense ministry. Additional examples include Jacob, who encountered God when left alone, along with Elijah, Moses, and Peter, all of whom had significant encounters with God during times of separation. The speaker notes an irony in the modern world: people are more isolated than ever yet not truly separated, because social media, entertainment, and constant information fill the void and leave no time for God. Separation does not mean severing relationships but disconnecting from the world's systems, work, responsibilities, and entertainment for a season, whether an hour, six hours, or a retreat. During separation, one should pray in tongues and meditate on the Word, since prayer is how we speak to God and meditation is how we hear from Him. The speaker urges listeners to schedule these times regularly, such as early Saturday mornings or quarterly retreats, promising that they will return refreshed and hear God more clearly.

Transcription

4302 Words, 22470 Characters

English

Speaker 1hello welcome to day 13 intimacy 30 and we've been studying on the elements of intimacy which means what are the elements what are the things that must be in place for there to be real intimacy and we have looked at the element of knowledge we have looked at the element of strong desire now number three element is the element of separation separation now I have found out that it is impossible to have a real and true intimacy without separation what do I mean by separation I mean that there must be definite times where we separate ourselves from people to spend time with the Lord intimacy requires separation let's use the natural example that the deeper the communication of affection and love the more privacy is required all right that the deeper now basic communication can happen in the public and things like that but the deeper the communication of affection and love and devotion that must be that must happen the more privacy you require for such a thing all right so um intimacy requires separation and what I would just do very quickly um is just to point us to a couple of scriptures let's use Jesus as a template for this in Luke chapter 5 verse 16 there's a statement that's made about Jesus that I want you to keep at the back of your mind it says and he withdrew himself into the wilderness and prayed now there's a translation that the the NIV translation says but Jesus often withdrew himself to lonely places and prayed I wanted to know that NIV Luke 5 16 Jesus often please know that we drew to lonely places and prayed new living translation but Jesus often we drill to the wilderness for prayer English Standard Version but he would withdraw to desolate places and pray Berian Standard Bible so I want you to see that the King James missed something there all right it says Berian Berian Standard Bible yet he frequently with you to the wilderness to pray just one more new American Standard Bible says but Jesus himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray now the context was this but so much the more went there the context was this but so much the more went there to the wilderness to pray for the Lord to be to the wilderness to pray for the Lord to be to the wilderness to pray for the Lord to be saved and to be healed by him and of their saved and to be healed by him and of their saved and to be healed by him and of their infirmities so he was having a massive infirmities so he was having a massive infirmities so he was having a massive massive time in ministry as it were things massive time in ministry as it were things massive time in ministry as it were things were moving fast great things were were moving fast great things were were moving fast great things were happening but in the midst of that we see happening but in the midst of that we see happening but in the midst of that we see the secret of Jesus the Bible says but the secret of Jesus the Bible says but the secret of Jesus the Bible says but Jesus often withdrew to lonely places Jesus often withdrew to lonely places Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed and prayed and prayed a couple of things I wanted to notice a couple of things I wanted to notice a couple of things I wanted to notice there often there often there often we drew lonely places prayer we drew lonely places prayer we drew lonely places prayer these are things that comes with these are things that comes with these are things that comes with intimacy I want you to see the intimacy I want you to see the intimacy I want you to see the consistency with it it was not a one-off consistency with it it was not a one-off consistency with it it was not a one-off thing I want to see the fact that there thing I want to see the fact that there thing I want to see the fact that there was a kind of place he needed lonely was a kind of place he needed lonely was a kind of place he needed lonely places all right and then what was he places all right and then what was he places all right and then what was he doing there he withdrew himself to do doing there he withdrew himself to do doing there he withdrew himself to do what to pray in those places now let's what to pray in those places now let's what to pray in those places now let's read let me just read you a couple of read let me just read you a couple of read let me just read you a couple of scriptures today we're basically going scriptures today we're basically going scriptures today we're basically going to read the scriptures and let the to read the scriptures and let the to read the scriptures and let the scriptures speak to Ross I'll read you scriptures to Ross I'll read you scriptures to Ross I'll read you about seven of them in the life of Jesus about seven of them in the life of Jesus about seven of them in the life of Jesus so I want you to see the priority of so I want you to see the priority of so I want you to see the priority of this withdrawing himself all right in this withdrawing himself all right in this withdrawing himself all right in Mark chapter 1 and verse 12 let's see Mark chapter 1 and verse 12 let's see Mark chapter 1 and verse 12 let's see how Jesus started his ministry and how Jesus started his ministry and how Jesus started his ministry and immediately the Spirit drive at him into immediately the Spirit drive at him into immediately the Spirit drive at him into the wilderness and it was there in the the wilderness and it was there in the the wilderness and it was there in the wilderness 40 days tempted of Satan and he was with the wild wilderness 40 days tempted of Satan and he was with the wild beast and the angels ministered beast and the angels ministered beast and the angels ministered unto him he started out by withdrawing unto him he started out by withdrawing unto him he started out by withdrawing himself to pray where in the wilderness himself to pray where in the wilderness himself to pray where in the wilderness well we look at Mark 1 to 35 well we look at Mark 1 to 35 well we look at Mark 1 to 35 mark chapter 1 verse 35 and in the mark chapter 1 verse 35 and in the mark chapter 1 verse 35 and in the morning arising up a great while before morning arising up a great while before morning arising up a great while before day now he adds another element with a day now he adds another element with a day now he adds another element with a great while before day he went out and great while before day he went out and great while before day he went out and departed into a solitary place and departed into a solitary place and departed into a solitary place and they prayed I wanted to see the there are they prayed I wanted to see the there are they prayed I wanted to see the there are two things we're already speaking about two things we're already speaking about two things we're already speaking about here we're already talking about prayer here we're already talking about prayer here we're already talking about prayer but or at least you can tell that this but or at least you can tell that this but or at least you can tell that this is about prayer but um the focus is not is about prayer but um the focus is not is about prayer but um the focus is not it's not necessarily prayer is the it's not necessarily prayer is the it's not necessarily prayer is the withdrawing withdrawing from people withdrawing withdrawing from people withdrawing withdrawing from people withdrawing we have to learn to pause to withdrawing we have to learn to pause to withdrawing we have to learn to pause to press the bricks and we draw and build press the bricks and we draw and build press the bricks and we draw and build a system around it all right you look at a system around it all right you look at a system around it all right you look at um Luke chapter 5 verse 15 and 16 we um Luke chapter 5 verse 15 and 16 we um Luke chapter 5 verse 15 and 16 we already read that um then you look at already read that um then you look at already read that um then you look at Luke chapter 6 and I want you to see the Luke chapter 6 and I want you to see the Luke chapter 6 and I want you to see the frequency of this in the Ministry of frequency of this in the Ministry of frequency of this in the Ministry of Jesus Luke chapter 6 and verse 12 it Jesus Luke chapter 6 and verse 12 it Jesus Luke chapter 6 and verse 12 it says and it came to pass in those days says and it came to pass in those days says and it came to pass in those days that he went out into a mountain to pray that he went out into a mountain to pray that he went out into a mountain to pray and continued all night prayer in prayer and continued all night prayer in prayer and continued all night prayer in prayer to God to God to God then you see Matthew chapter 14 and then you see Matthew chapter 14 and then you see Matthew chapter 14 and verse 13. verse 13. verse 13. I want you to see how we handled life I want you to see how we handled life I want you to see how we handled life as well as well as well when Jesus heard of it he departed when Jesus heard of it he departed when Jesus heard of it he departed thanks by ship what did he hear of John thanks by ship what did he hear of John thanks by ship what did he hear of John was beheaded was beheaded was beheaded it is he departed into a desert place it is he departed into a desert place it is he departed into a desert place apart apart when the people had heard apart apart when the people had heard apart apart when the people had heard thereof they followed him it is on foot thereof they followed him it is on foot thereof they followed him it is on foot out of the cities now why did he depart out of the cities now why did he depart out of the cities now why did he depart purposely to pray mark chapter 6 verse purposely to pray mark chapter 6 verse purposely to pray mark chapter 6 verse 31 I'm reading you all of these 31 I'm reading you all of these 31 I'm reading you all of these scriptures to see the numerous mentions scriptures to see the numerous mentions scriptures to see the numerous mentions of Jesus withdrawing mark chapter 6 and of Jesus withdrawing mark chapter 6 and of Jesus withdrawing mark chapter 6 and verse 31 the Bible says in Mark 6 verse verse 31 the Bible says in Mark 6 verse verse 31 the Bible says in Mark 6 verse 31 it says and he said unto them come ye 31 it says and he said unto them come ye 31 it says and he said unto them come ye yourselves apart into a desert place and yourselves apart into a desert place and yourselves apart into a desert place and rest all right for there were many rest all right for there were many rest all right for there were many disciples what was he doing if you read disciples what was he doing if you read disciples what was he doing if you read further downwards we know that he began further downwards we know that he began further downwards we know that he began to pray as well all right and I can to pray as well all right and I can to pray as well all right and I can give you several references then the give you several references then the give you several references then the garden of Gethsemane mark chapter 14 and garden of Gethsemane mark chapter 14 and garden of Gethsemane mark chapter 14 and verse 32 he was separated again to what verse 32 he was separated again to what verse 32 he was separated again to what pray and to separated from men and all of pray and to separated from men and all of pray and to separated from men and all of the rest the Bible tells us that and the rest the Bible tells us that and the rest the Bible tells us that and Jacob was left alone Jacob was left alone Jacob was left alone and Jacob was left alone it was when and Jacob was left alone it was when and Jacob was left alone it was when Jacob was left alone that he eventually Jacob was left alone that he eventually Jacob was left alone that he eventually encountered God so there is something encountered God so there is something encountered God so there is something about separation that is a major about separation that is a major about separation that is a major requirement for intimacy there are I requirement for intimacy there are I requirement for intimacy there are I mean you have examples all true mean you have examples all true mean you have examples all true scripture Elijah gave the word of scripture Elijah gave the word of scripture Elijah gave the word of prophecy and then he went on the Mount prophecy and then he went on the Mount prophecy and then he went on the Mount to pray Moses was in the Mount for 40 to pray Moses was in the Mount for 40 to pray Moses was in the Mount for 40 days and 40 nights and then when he days and 40 nights and then when he days and 40 nights and then when he broke the tablet he went back again for broke the tablet he went back again for broke the tablet he went back again for another 40 days and 40 nights Jesus was another 40 days and 40 nights Jesus was another 40 days and 40 nights Jesus was on the Mount of Transfiguration I mean I on the Mount of Transfiguration I mean I on the Mount of Transfiguration I mean I can go on and on and on it was while can go on and on and on it was while can go on and on and on it was while Peter was praying by himself on the Peter was praying by himself on the Peter was praying by himself on the rooftop that he had that he fell into rooftop that he had that he fell into rooftop that he had that he fell into that trance and that had that encounter that trance and that had that encounter that trance and that had that encounter with God separation is a major major with God separation is a major major with God separation is a major major major key in developing intimacy with God major key in developing intimacy with God major key in developing intimacy with God now it's an interesting irony that we now it's an interesting irony that we now it's an interesting irony that we have in the world today that people are have in the world today that people are have in the world today that people are more isolated but they are not separated more isolated but they are not separated more isolated but they are not separated I'll explain what I mean because of I'll explain what I mean because of I'll explain what I mean because of social media and um individualism that social media and um individualism that social media and um individualism that we have in the world today a lot of we have in the world today a lot of we have in the world today a lot of people have built walls around them they people have built walls around them they people have built walls around them they are very isolated very few real are very isolated very few real are very isolated very few real genuine connections with people but genuine connections with people but genuine connections with people but then to fill that void of isolation then to fill that void of isolation then to fill that void of isolation there's a lot of distractions and there's a lot of distractions and there's a lot of distractions and options social media entertainment options social media entertainment options social media entertainment there's so much that has been created there's so much that has been created there's so much that has been created and what has happened is this is that and what has happened is this is that and what has happened is this is that you have a very noisy world with people you have a very noisy world with people you have a very noisy world with people given several opportunities several given several opportunities several given several opportunities several entertainment opportunities information entertainment opportunities information entertainment opportunities information opportunities and things like that and opportunities and things like that and opportunities and things like that and we are bombarded with all of this and we are bombarded with all of this and we are bombarded with all of this and the thing that really matters we find the thing that really matters we find the thing that really matters we find out that we have no time for it which out that we have no time for it which out that we have no time for it which is time with God is time with God is time with God and so we must learn the principle of and so we must learn the principle of and so we must learn the principle of separation separation does not mean separation separation does not mean separation separation does not mean severing relationships no I'm talking severing relationships no I'm talking severing relationships no I'm talking about learning to disconnect from the about learning to disconnect from the about learning to disconnect from the world not just people from the world world not just people from the world world not just people from the world disconnect from everything disconnect disconnect from everything disconnect disconnect from everything disconnect from work disconnect from from work disconnect from responsibilities for a bit from responsibilities for a bit from responsibilities for a bit disconnect from entertainment disconnect from entertainment disconnect from entertainment disconnect from every of these things disconnect from every of these things disconnect from every of these things that you can give attention to God that you can give attention to God that you can give attention to God these were practices of Christians in these were practices of Christians in these were practices of Christians in the generations past that it was so the generations past that it was so the generations past that it was so normal with them that in my shop that normal with them that in my shop that normal with them that in my shop that generation that it's not normal with generation that it's not normal with generation that it's not normal with this generation it was so normal with this generation it was so normal with this generation it was so normal with the generation years ago for people to the generation years ago for people to the generation years ago for people to take retreats all right take out time take retreats all right take out time take retreats all right take out time and spend time in the presence of the and spend time in the presence of the and spend time in the presence of the Lord we see that it was a practice in Lord we see that it was a practice in Lord we see that it was a practice in the life of Jesus Christ and so you have the life of Jesus Christ and so you have the life of Jesus Christ and so you have to learn it disconnect you know one time to learn it disconnect you know one time to learn it disconnect you know one time somebody said something he said many somebody said something he said many somebody said something he said many people need to actually do this and try people need to actually do this and try people need to actually do this and try it out turn off your phone for one day it out turn off your phone for one day it out turn off your phone for one day don't touch the phone one day is too don't touch the phone one day is too don't touch the phone one day is too much six hours you'll find out how that many people have gotten addicted to devices you have to press something touch something disconnecting from the world is the beginning of intimacy with God and so intimacy requires separation it requires separation disconnection from the world and obviously you're disconnecting from the world and by that I mean every source of entertainment information for a season that season could be just an hour as it is in prayer it could be six hours you know and I always tell people that structure these things into your life on a weekly basis maybe a Saturday when you have more time you spend more time with the Lord more free time on your hand in some other cases you just want to break it down so maybe every day you're spending you know a certain amount of time I mean every quarter you have a retreat that you go on this is not a Christian I mean a pastor thing it's a Christian thing disconnect from the world even in the natural creativity increases when you take out time from your work from your busy schedule just to you know retreat and to rest so it's a very important discipline that we must develop the ability to separate ourselves disconnect from the world the world system relationships and all the rest and you come back better refreshed and there are things that you will you know I found out that there are many things that God you won't hear God not that God won't say you won't hear of the Lord save that you take out the time to separate yourself onto the Lord and what do you do in separation this is extremely important it's not sleep it's not just look around and while the way time prayer we see Jesus spending time in prayer and then quickly say this that the kind of prayer you want to do is a lot of praying in tongues praying in tongues praying in the spirit number two is you spend a lot of time meditating on the word of God a lot of time in prayer praying in the spirit particularly a lot of time meditating on the word of God all right and I realize that prayer is how you talk to God okay um or meditate meditation is how you hear from God so let me say that I know people say that prayer is a two-way thing God talks to you and I understand that but primarily the essence of prayer is to communicate with the Lord it's a meditation that many at times the voice of God becomes clear and distinct to us so you want to spend time in prayer a lot of speaking in other tongues and then you have those moments of solitude where you're meditating on the scriptures and then God begins to unveil things to you reveal himself to you in a deeper and a greater dimension all right um and I encourage people schedule this into your life schedule I mean I heard somebody talk about mini mini retreats where maybe you wake up on a Saturday much earlier than your usual time by 1 a.m and you spend 1 a.m to 6 a.m five hours you get those five hours you may never get that during the week because of your busy schedule but you get the five hours and you come out strengthened refreshed you know for all that God has for you so intimacy is built by separation learn the art of separation and it will help your journey to knowing the Lord better I'll see you same time tomorrow make sure you share this video subscribe and let as many people as possible know what you have been blessed by so that they can be blessed by it as well God bless

Podcast Summary

Key Points:

Separation is the third element of intimacy, following knowledge and strong desire, and true intimacy is impossible without it.
Deeper communication of love and affection requires greater privacy, just as intimacy with God requires definite times set apart from people.
Jesus consistently withdrew to lonely, desolate places to pray, as shown in Luke 5:16, Mark 1:35, Luke 6:12, Matthew 14:13, Mark 6:31, and Gethsemane.
Jesus' withdrawal was frequent and habitual rather than a one-off event, demonstrating a deliberate priority and system of separation.
Biblical figures such as Jacob, Elijah, Moses, and Peter all encountered God after being left alone or separated.
Modern people are isolated yet distracted by social media and entertainment, leaving no time for God despite living in a noisy world.
Separation means disconnecting from the world's systems, work, responsibilities, and entertainment for a season, not severing relationships.
Time set apart should be spent praying in tongues and meditating on the Word, ideally scheduled weekly, daily, or through regular retreats.

Summary:

Jesus serves as the primary template. The speaker cites numerous scriptures, including Luke 5:16, Mark 1:35, Luke 6:12, Matthew 14:13, Mark 6:31, and the garden of Gethsemane, to demonstrate that Jesus frequently, consistently, and deliberately withdrew to lonely places to pray, even amid intense ministry. Additional examples include Jacob, who encountered God when left alone, along with Elijah, Moses, and Peter, all of whom had significant encounters with God during times of separation.

The speaker notes an irony in the modern world: people are more isolated than ever yet not truly separated, because social media, entertainment, and constant information fill the void and leave no time for God. Separation does not mean severing relationships but disconnecting from the world's systems, work, responsibilities, and entertainment for a season, whether an hour, six hours, or a retreat. During separation, one should pray in tongues and meditate on the Word, since prayer is how we speak to God and meditation is how we hear from Him. The speaker urges listeners to schedule these times regularly, such as early Saturday mornings or quarterly retreats, promising that they will return refreshed and hear God more clearly.

FAQs

What is the third element of intimacy discussed in this teaching?›

The third element is separation. Real and true intimacy with God requires definite times of separating ourselves from people and the world to spend time with the Lord.

Why does intimacy require separation?›

Just as deeper communication of affection and love in natural relationships requires more privacy, deeper communion with God requires privacy and separation from distractions. Separation creates the space needed to focus on God.

How did Jesus model the practice of separation?›

Jesus often withdrew to lonely or desolate places to pray, as seen in passages like Luke 5:16, Mark 1:35, and Luke 6:12. His withdrawal was consistent, intentional, and focused on prayer.

Does separation mean cutting off relationships with people?›

No. Separation does not mean severing relationships. It means learning to disconnect from the world system—work, responsibilities, entertainment, and distractions—for a season in order to give attention to God.

What should I do during times of separation?›

Spend time in prayer, especially praying in tongues (praying in the spirit), and meditate on the Word of God. Prayer is how you communicate with God, while meditation is often how you hear from Him.

How can I practically schedule times of separation into my life?›

Structure these times into your weekly routine—for example, use a Saturday when you have more free time, or schedule mini retreats such as waking early from 1 a.m. to 6 a.m. You can also plan periodic retreats each quarter.

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