Interview with Christa Pike Part 1

"Welcome to Unforbidden Truth. I'm Andrew. This is part one of a two-part interview with convicted murderer, Christa Pike. Christa Pike is the only woman on Tennessee's death row. Both part one and part two will be conducted by James Sparks, not myself. James is a juvenile justice expert and has over 25 years in the field. James was gracious enough to provide me these interviews, as well as to Daryl Ship's interviews. With that being said, I'm going to hand the reins over to James Sparks. Enjoy it." The second part of these interviews I conducted was with death row in at Christa Pike. Christa Pike's interview is significantly longer than Daryl, and she deals into childhood issues, as well as her trial. Prepaid debit call from "Christa, an intimate at the Tennessee Department of Corrections." This call is subject to monitoring and recording. I wrote this statement down, so I wouldn't stumble over my words, and I wouldn't leave anything out that I really wanted to get out because this is important to me. At the recording of this, we've already completed the interview. I did with James Sparks. I was reluctant to speak at all at this time for so many reasons, but the image of me in the public eye isn't an image of complete truth. Nor does it show any reasoning behind the actions that have led to my current placement. Yes, like every other death row inmate ever, a separate childhood abuse. I had more than my fair share of trauma growing up, and I realized that so many others had that didn't commit violent crimes. I don't use that or anything else as an excuse for what I did. There is no excuse for what I did. There are reasons for the way I acted, but nothing excuses the crime and the damage it's caused to so many lives. James was kind enough and compassionate enough not to ask about specific incidents and details of my life for which I'm thankful. I didn't volunteer details of situations to satisfy more of a curiosity because I don't see the benefit for anyone. We spoke of things that may give you a more honest picture of my life from childhood until my incarceration. Afterwards, I knew everyone would wonder why I didn't say anything about my crime. I've never denied my involvement in the murder of Colleen Slimmer. I take full responsibility for my actions and regret everything that happened that night. If I could take it all back, I would. And not only to get myself out of prison. I know that's where a lot of people assume. I've already spent a lifetime in here, and I have no expectations of ever leaving these fences. That's not what this is about. I did multiple tabloid type interviews when I was first given a sense. My attorney at the time was telling me that I needed to get my story out to the public. And this is the same attorney who had me sign my rights to my story over to him so that he could profit from my demise in the future. I was still very young at the time and had never known what it was like to have any attention at all, much less everyone's attention focused directly on me. So no matter the reason behind it, I was the center of it, and any attention was good attention at that point in my life. My immaturity and of curiosity could only cause further pain. And that's not my intent when speaking at this time, nor is it to derrals. I'm not even close to being the same person I was over 25 years ago. The issues we were all dealing with back then as teenagers seemed so serious at the time as is everything in a teenager's life. I was an unmedicated bi-polar 18-year-old girl back when people didn't even really know what that was about. I had just had someone to destroy all my clothes, my photos of friends and family, and because of daily verbal altercations, I was seen as a threat to me staying in school to continue my education and to continue the relationship with the one and only person I had a close bond with. This isn't bling the victim. This was my worked mind set at the time. All of this, the whole situation could have and should have been avoided. I never planned to kill Colleen Slimmer and she didn't deserve to die. I only want my situation to be looked at now through the eyes of logic instead of anger and answer the question of if I deserve to die for a crime committed by three people. To derlship, should all of Peterson and myself when I was an 18-year-old girl. I took the blame for the three of us upon myself out of a misplaced sense of loyalty and low self-esteem. These are my honest thoughts and feelings. This is my story and you'll hear more with my conversation with James. And I want everyone to know that as a stipulation for my doing this podcast, all proceeds from my anti-derals will be donated to a charity in Knoxville, Tennessee. Friends of literacy, which I've looked into and think is wonderful. So thank you for your time. I appreciate it very much. What was your early, early, honest child that you can recall? I think it's a positive memory that my childhood was probably all with my country memory, but I think it's a very, very positive memory. Other than that, as far as childhood, childhood, and just the normal thing, Christmas, or whatever best, anything that's just random memories or always with her and about her. So basically, everything you do, do you remember, comes from your panel? Everything is good. Everything is probably confirmed. Is she still living? No, she's still in the dark when I was a very young, 12, 13, and that was my first suicide attempt when she died. I started to go with her. I felt like that was the only good thing that I had and when she was going on the farm to go through. And that was an 8/13. I think she doesn't 8/8. I'm 10 or something. I think I'm 12. I'm going to start getting. Okay. And some of the questions, Kristen, that I asked you, I may already know the answers, but most people won't. So I'm asking you stuff because I think we're doing it. You and I already talked about, but not everybody knows the answers, okay? Right. Okay, so we go from positive. What were some of your earliest negative memories of childhood that you recall? Ernest, a friend of my grandmother, being abusive and being very scary to me, definitely having a baby sitter that Mom left my sister and I was a family member. Who was crazy? Like, is crazy crazy. And the main reason was, who I was terrified of because she would make us go to school and take bath in two inches of ice cold water and sit on the couch and don't get up until she would like to make it. And I've been using the bathroom on the couch and things like that too. You'll hear a baby out close and put her on her dog and stuff that she was scary to me. Like in a weird way that I was terrified of her and I got scared for a while. My dad, Camper, there's a lot of me and Hungry sometimes. What really is a small child that is a little older? Yeah. I'm like, I'm thinking small or child. I'm a little older than, you know, different from my mom, my boyfriend, my mom, mom, who was a raging alcoholic and had it out for me because I looked like my dad. She didn't like my dad. I was the red hand who had my dad's red hair and she was very abusive, musically and physically. For me, not a member. What's the earliest thing you could call of your dad's temper that's sort of scared you when you were child? I don't even remember one term. I decided I was going to sit on makeup on my favorite dog, which happened to be one of the long-to not-mister. She never played with this dog, but it was her property. I carry her around, play with it everywhere. We're going to go make up on this baby with my crayon and as soon as Alicia saw that. I had to make up on this baby. All of a sudden it was her favorite dog. And she drove away from it and ran and showed my dad and I had done this. All of a sudden there was no normal thing in the world. I thought what was popular this year was a double-gum doll. Where you get to move, it's a arm or something, it was horrible with a balloon. And my daddy was like, go get your favorite doll. I was not about to get that one, which was my favorite. So I just went and grabbed some random. Nobody, nobody's going to miss me. I know which one's your favorite. We grabbed that doll. I just thought I haven't even had time to play with her yet. I just started to happen at Lyme from Lyme and I was swinging it all across the house, screaming at me. I dropped me up on my arm and it was like breaking this doll in front of me. It was made out of hard plastic. Wow, I'm like, you're raising the floor. It's like $30.00 in front of me. It sounds like nothing now, but it's a very small child who's like a, I don't know. Something that just scared the crap out of me. And he was thinking with a bill of law. I don't remember the one time he made my grandmother a prize. That really tore me up and the only time I'm alive I've ever heard of Chuck. There's one time he said, because we were having some kind of liver, and I was not going to eat it. They were not going to force me to eat this liver. And my grandmother looked at me and said, you know, those stereotypical. Chris said, you know, they're serving children in Africa that would love to have this meal and I said, well, you know, every bit thinks of saying it doesn't normally. I was like, well, them all can't you put in a box, you know what's going to happen? Because I don't want to eat it. And I was probably being very genuine. I wanted to give these children the food because I was not going to eat it. But my dad joked me up and drugged me into the bedroom and just started feeding the crap out of me. I heard, like, disrespected my grandmother, when she was a cow, he heard it. And my grandma was as big as him not to hear me, please don't hit her, please don't hit her. And he just said, like, uh, you know, just. He was kind of ever heard of this in my entire wife. I heard my mother said I have to feed her standing cross because he was feeding me. I was like so much and so hard with this bill that I get shook something. And he said, I wasn't the only one that felt that way when somebody hit me like that. It made her feel that way, too. So it gave me, like, some kind of realization. I wasn't the only one that felt that way when somebody was hitting me like that. If somebody else saw it, it hurt me as much as it hurt me. It was something that I won't ever forget. Like they were way examined, you know, on and on. It wasn't anything new. It was something that happened a while. But it was just normal to me. But that one was different. That one made me realize. They let us decide you didn't roll with a normal child. Did you think that it was normal? Or did you know anything different? I didn't know anything. I never went to anyone's house. I didn't have friends. You know, the other kids, I was around, they were not children. So it makes it for going to school. I didn't really care. I didn't have a school. I didn't ever know any different. Have you and your father ever talked about the events in recent times? Have you ever apologized for that behavior? A lot of people show me that, tell me you know it. Meaning, tell me when you're showing it. And you're hurting me at the end of the day. Right. That's hard for a child to process. So, there was never a social worker that came through. There was never a social worker that came through. I wish they could. I wish they could. I wish a buffalo was a known and prominent thing. I don't really remember a lot from back then. I think I would have remembered if somebody had stepped up and tried to save me if we were going to this place, because I was terrified to get out of there. Right. Well that was your attorney's ride, but the Jewish did not go with his recommendations. It was that that would have been the worst thing for you to go. Yeah. You know what age you were when you had go to this swanola? Do you know the silly? How were 14? And how do you say that was nanocircally? Swanola? Swanola. It was called J.D.C. It's even out of the valuation center. It was swanola in North Carolina. You were there for 14? Was it a collater? Was it just female? Yes. So if we had swanmis. I was so bad there. I was a whore. I was a terror. That's right. Every time I got ready to let you know anything, just not like I felt that was swanol. And I didn't think it was intentional like a term, but looking back it had to be. It was an epic term. I really didn't think it was. It never looked up to tell me it was. Like no, I don't want to get out of here. How can you tell me I want to stay in this place? Well, you know, I've been working with kids for 25 years, and believe me, when you say that, it's quite common. As far as self-solving, nothing is for you. You're doing, you know, you probably did it because that was the most probably stable environment that you've been in for a long time. Even though you may have noticed, yeah, exactly. There was things that you were used to. And sometimes you can't do that. And I wouldn't have been able to keep before, you know, like you might have been finished with possession, but then you start to bench really quickly just because, they don't want to let you, because, in a sense, the people that we've worked with, become a family to that child. And it was normal. And it was something that they weren't used to. I'm just trying to, I'm just trying to figure out why, even when ever sent down, and gathered the social information, because have they properly been what they were supposed to know? I think that they would learn about your history. We don't know about what you went through, and the literature reported to the judge and the judge would have had second thoughts on sending you to this place, especially when it's more restrictive and it seems like it's more for a hard and criminal group instead of more than it is in the status of the fence. That's what I had in our entire process, looking at things that made it. It's not fair. From what they treated me like I was the worst of the worst, because I like to run away from home and get turned to smoke weed. That's what I had. And they just had to teach me a lesson that I was going to learn the hard way. Or was that what the judge told you as early or aesthetically? Well, that's pretty much it. Well, that's what my mom and my social worker and the judge was just going along with it. I don't think the judge would talk to me at all. I think I was below his level of being a necessary to interact with me. So basically, when you were there, and how long did you stay with me there? I'm sorry, but if you stay here in three months, I have to stay here. You have to stay here in three months. And you can stay out of there in three months. If you have to. I remember that in three months. Yeah. So do you think of that whatever you're trying to think about it? When you got, you know, the second two and a half months, what's the end? Did you ever think about, "I'm going to have to go back home?" And how long did you go through? I don't think I was a conscious effort at any point in time. Did you not want to go home? No, and I know for a fact there were a few counts that I think not doing on purpose. They certainly had a boot camp you could go to. At one point in time, like when you made it so far through, you could go to this boot camp to get out. And I wanted to go to that boot camp that I had, because it was like up in the mountains, and you go camping and do stuff. And, you know, right up my alley, going out and doing physical stuff. And, you know, I wanted to go. And, so I went in and then, you know, you go, "Girl, then the guy would go, and he just came down different camps, but he could go hiking, and, you know, do all this wilderness crap, and that I was ready to go. And not a fair, and then gone to fight with the guy, and tried to push him off side of the mountain, and said, "Yeah, we were dead for." And I got kicked out and got sent back to the fair. You know what I'm saying? They were being very rude, and you know, doing things that were very inappropriate, and, you know, could have seen, on me, in a way, that was that very inappropriate, and it was something that was, you know, not gonna fly with me, and there being any circumstances, things were so at home, that I felt like he had to go. It didn't matter what circumstances, we were in, and he said, "I have a cap, and then right there, and, yeah, just one of those things." And there are a lot of things that in there that were, you know, given way easily avoided. But that was, I was so bad in there, and at one point in time, they had me in a strike checker, or a little around the middle of the door. So I was, and I was an idiot in that place. I was like, "Is this whatever you had, "I wanted to spare you, "and the counselor, "or I'm left?" Absolutely. So what happened, I said, that she had a sheet react to, you know, whenever you reported things that were going on, and it makes like, "How did she react?" She just, you know, status quo, and keep the ball rolling. What, what do you mean, when I reported things that were going on? Any sort of abuse or anything that happened to you while you're at the facility? Like, rights, or, you know, people committed to physical, because I read where I said that you had tried to make reports to Ms. Perry, and it didn't seem like anything was done, where people had liked, you know, tried to fight you, just saying that they shouldn't have been specifically. I didn't see anything about sexual abuse or anything like that. Yeah. I'm just like, that's what happened to her. So I was like, I didn't know what you knew about that. But, I don't really, I don't really remember a lot of, what happened in there, so that I would have been from playing this out. I remember, like, I remember the thing when subgroups came in, but, I don't really remember a lot of, other stuff that happened in there. There are only a couple like big issues that happened in there that I remember, but, I had one, I had a really bad fight in there, but it's not something that I would have went in like, toward it, if somebody. I don't know. I don't know. I'm a very, I'm a very, toward it, stuff about staff members, being like, sometimes like, in a way that, I don't know, I don't remember a thing. And that maybe you take that context in your field, so you know, do you remember being on any medication while you were there, that facility? I don't know. I don't have, I don't have any idea. I really, I don't remember. The only, I'm psych medication I remember being on, before being incarcerated with, um, panel alarm, when, um, I went to, I went to one screen, because I didn't indicate me any, so I put me on panel alarm. Um, and that, did not last very long. I think I took it for, a couple of weeks, maybe, and then it just started to cabinet. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Do you remember? You've been rallying milligrams watching. I know about that. You're laughing. No idea. Okay. Um, which is understandable and that was a long time ago. Um, did you receive it? Did you receive it? Yeah. Did you, did you, did you, did you have any special counseling services when you're at this, when they were, uh, facility? You know, I'm sorry, I can't put it for you. We had, and I think we would, have, like, uh, some type of well-power, once a week or something, when a week, they would check in with us, just to be like, you know, how are you doing or whatever, but, um, I don't think they did any, like, they had, I don't know, they, they came, and they had, like, said in a circle, and talked about whatever, but they didn't do any, like, there would be, like, they probably should have. So what was, like, you're not saying you're feeling, just like that? No, then, they don't think they, I don't think anybody could, seriously, I don't think, I don't think they're an actual thing. There's no, they're just, they're that way. Okay, um, something that stood out to me, and, um, this is just the cause of, I believe that, you know, um, with what I do, that you've got to be, uh, present in a child's life, and I noticed that, while you were there, you're, you're, you're, you're relatives, you're guardian, what have you? Visiting you only eight times out of 60, which is 13 percent of the time. Mm-hmm. Uh, how did that affect you? And how the, did that cause any, does it cause you to act out, or did it cause you, what it's called to anybody, but cause, they weren't coming to you, and everybody else was getting visits? Well, um, I remember that, when I did come, I was really excited. Um, I know you've had to be, at a certain level, to be able to get your visit, when you were in trouble, and lost down it, all you learned about loud to get visit. And that stayed like on me. I'm in trouble wings, a lot. So, there was a lot of time that I wasn't allowed to visit. Um, but when I was allowed to visit, I was really excited when they did come. And a lot of times, when they didn't, I think I stopped it up to, they were so far away, that they didn't just get up there every week. Mm-hmm. Um, which I'm realizing now, but they can't say if they really wanted to. You know, but, this was the use of giving them and myself. Um, so I don't think I really let it carry a lot of weight. But, you know, I guess I was with the weight that he's learned in my life. You know, it's another one of those things that. Oh, yeah, that's huge. Look at that. Yeah. But, yeah. It didn't surprise you when they didn't show up. These dates may not mean anything to anyone, but these dates correspond with the murder of Colin Slimmer in Knoxville, Tennessee.