INTERVIEW | The Trials and Tribulations of a Retail Worker

This is a Get Serial podcast. Bob, Mali, and the Wild is there with small acts. This is Get Serial on Scene. It's bang on 8 o'clock in the morning with Harper. Ella's here as well. Feeling good, Ella? Feeling good. Happy Friday. First Sean, first guest rolling in for you. It's all happening this morning. Have you ever worked in retail? I know. I'm a hospital girly thrown through. Never ever retail, right? I always wanted to work in retail because I always thought it couldn't be any worse than a hospital. But I feel like I might find out that that's maybe not the case. Well, we're about to find something out for sure. We're joined by Emma Cunningham and Siobhan Patterson. They're from the show upcoming at Melbourne Fringe from the 29th of September to the 5th of October. So just a couple of weeks away now, it's at the Motley Bauhaus in Carlton, and it's called Would You Like to Speak to My Manager? The Trials and Tribulations of a Retail Worker. Emma, Siobhan, thank you so much for coming in. Thank you so much for having us. Thank you. So, the Trials and Tribulations of a Retail Worker. I'm guessing you've got very strong retail backgrounds, unlike Ella. For sure. Just under half a decade of retail work. My adolescence to early adulthood, a very formative time. Siobhan is still... Yeah, I'm still there, by the way. Where are we talking? I can't say. I can't say due to this show. Do you contract a lot of the gains? Yeah. Well, do they know about your show existence? No, I've been giving it a secret with all my managers. I don't want anyone to know. I don't want anyone to come. Not inviting any work friends? No. You're a bit cheeky, though. She hasn't changed a lot of the names in the story, so there's a lot of people that might actually be able to guess. Oh, that's amazing. So just to get the vibe of the show, it's a one-woman show. Emma, you're the actor, the lead actor, the only actor, and writer, producer? Yeah, writer, director, producer. All of it? Yeah. It's just Emma on stage talking to herself. We kind of make fun of everyone. We make fun of customers, ourselves, managers, coworkers. Everyone gets an archetype. I know, please, all of them. And she's so quick with it, and she's so funny. She just joke after joke after joke. Oh, God, thank you. I think... Thank you so much, Siobhan. I feel like retail really prepared me for some experience in acting. I mean, a lot of it's just improvisation with strangers and scripting. Like, "Hi, how can I help you, Emma?" You feel like a bit of a robot by the end of it. Yeah, it's definitely, yeah. Oh, God. Yeah, I can imagine. What I would say, who is worse in the retail scenario? Would you say the customers are always wrong? Would you ever admit that you're wrong as a retail worker? I feel like that's against the code of conduct. I think in order to be in retail, you have to have a certain level of self-respect. You have to know the customer's wrong, but you have to tell them that they're right. And that's the fun thing, getting to lie a lot, which is... Oh, gosh, I probably shouldn't say that, but, yeah. So, the show, is it a story sort of thing with one thread or is it just, like, gag-gag-gag-gag? No, it's like little stories. We're telling little true stories of things that we've experienced that other coworkers have experienced. And it's interwoven with monologues about how we're feeling trapped and that we're never going to leave. And, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. That's pretty much it. It's kind of like a look into, like, the movement from just getting the job to feeling a little bit insane to, like, trying to get out. And I think it'll be very relatable for a lot of people. If you've done any customer service, doesn't matter if you're a hospital, retail, whatever, you'll relate to this, I think. Do you think anyone that has never worked in retail would enjoy it as well? Did you sort of intend to be retail audiences? Initially. I think initially it was retail audiences. But I think just being a young person right now in the job market, I think you will relate to it. Yeah, that's cool. And there's something very human about it. I mean, we talk a lot about how working in any kind of service job or customer-facing, public-facing makes you feel a bit like a robot. But then the human side of it, like, "Where am I? What am I doing?" Well, Ima, Siobhan, plenty more questions about your show about retail. We want to play one more song. And on the other side of this, we'll get back with you. This is Pep Rowley with their track, "Roll Around." You're listening to "Get Zero on Sin." That was "Roll Around" by Pep Rowley. You're listening to "Get Serial on Sin." We are chatting about the show. Would you like to speak to my manager? Now, that's a title in itself that makes, that sends shivers down my spine. Have you guys ever asked to speak to a manager? God no. I think I'd be caught dead saying those things. Nothing could compel you to do it. I mean, maybe to compliment someone. I know, like, when we got a new manager after I'd left, and my friend had done a really nice job, and this person didn't know me. So I did ask for the manager to compliment them, so that, you know, the manager's like, "Oh my God, this complete stranger said you did a great job." I'm like, "Oh, it was actually fine." But they didn't know, so... But that's the only time I think I could do it. I cannot do it. I couldn't do it. I don't care if you bring the wrong meal, okay? I'm not gonna ask. Oh my God, yeah. I just, I understand. Like, it's too stressful. I couldn't do it. There could be an entire human hair wig in my food, and I would eat it, and I would let you afraid. Like... No, I'm the same. The only time I have ever done it was actually sent a very strongly worded email the other day to a certain company that I was very unhappy with, and I was like, "Who am I? Am I becoming a cat?" It was, I felt like I really transitioned into adulthood doing that. I feel like, unchanged. Self-advocating, and that's important. It's absolutely important. You should protect your peace. But email, Sheva, I'm sure you've been on the other side of it many times. So, what's the worst? Can I speak to your manager moment that you've had? Oh, I don't know. I don't even know. Like, it gets to a point where you just kind of expect someone to ask. I like now just go, "Do you want me to just get my manager before they've even asked the thing?" The sense of memory of it is making my heart pound right now. You can just see when they're angry. I mean, we've had so many things. Shoes thrown at us. Shoes thrown at you. There's a lot of just crazy things that people do before they'll ask for the thing. So, sometimes the manager is honestly the best form of communication. So, we can do it when they're in that state. Can you tell us the shoes thrown at your store? Oh, geez. Look, look. It was actually a friend of mine who, we were working on the services together and they had refused to return. Anyway, she went flying and everyone was like, "Where'd that come from?" And not to get too far into the details. I hope no one who's listening is recognising this story too well. But the woman did get asked to leave and she actually, her child knew someone who worked. And it was very awkward. And I'm not sure if she's welcome back to that particular hotel. All over a pair of shoes, but anyway. So, I'm guessing in the show you've redacted all the names of the actual shops? Yeah. Although, the stories are quite recognisable. I have been contacted by someone being like, "Oh my God, the fish story." And I'm like, "Oh, geez." Oh my gosh. Now, what would you guys say to anyone that's currently in retail and hearing this and going, "Oh my gosh, does it ever get any better? Does it get better?" Yeah. Look, I'm putting this into art. I'm putting it into a play. This is the only way I can sit through it without going crazy too much. There's so many ways to find purpose in life outside of just your job. But also, like, if you are feeling stuck, something that we say a lot, which is just kind of fun. Just speak to the manager within, you know? If I find your piece, you can find that key and unlock the door, you know? You're not stuck forever. I love that. Wow. Speak to the manager within. Can I try to end this on a somewhat positive note? Have you got any good retail memories? Well, Siobhan, you're still in retail. Any good retail moments having a restaurant? Well, it's nice when you actually can help someone, then they're very appreciative. It is nice. Like, I feel good about it. I love having a chat with someone, like, "Yeah, gab all the way." Yeah, I don't mind. Half my shift is gone. I'm just talking to a stranger. It's great. And the people as well, of course. Like, bonding through shared enemies. It's like a really beautiful thing. Talking about it with your other coworkers, it really gets you through. Making shows about it. Yeah, exactly. And how can people come along to the show? How can they book? How can they follow you? You can book on the FRIEND website. If you go on What's On page, we're on the front there. We're one of the first shows. And you can follow @CounterConfessional on Instagram. Okay, awesome. From the 29th of September to the 5th of October, right? Yes. Okay, I'll definitely be there. Absolutely. I hope season 6 series is there as well. Absolutely. But for now, Emma and Siobhan Patterson, thank you very much for joining us. Thank you for having us. Thank you so much. Thank you guys so much.