145: Inner Rage with Graham Kay | Soder Podcast | EP 142

I am on the road, but you know that commas can call it tours all they want. We're out here. We're always out here. I'm on the road this weekend. I'm in Albany for shows Friday and Saturday July 31st and August 1st. I'm going to be at the Albany funny bone, bring in Brendan Sagalo with me. So we're just going to have a hoot and a holler. Please join us dance order.com for tickets. And then in August, I'm going to be at the port in Baltimore. I think all those shows are sold out. But again, Dan Soder.com, I'm going to be in Baltimore August 13th through the 14th. And then Spokane, Washington, I'm coming out west to your beautiful town of filled with homeless rambos. I'm excited to come out to Spokane, Washington August 20th through August 22nd. It truly is an awesome club. And I feel like last time I was there, wasn't that long ago. So I'm glad to be back. Dance order.com for all tickets. Go to dance order.com for tickets. Do not Google it. Do not, okay? Because how many times I have to respond to people that go like, you're charging $700 for your ticket for your show. No, that's crazy. Dance order.com by tickets from the actual vendor at these second sites. Okay. Did she actually run? Well, that was, so we are recording right now. That was from upstate New York. There was a person running for local government with the same name as Katie. Hilarious. You know, jokingly Shane calls her Kathy a lot. Yeah. It was like a little rib. And we were driving to the place we stay that we like to go away to up in the Catskills. And I saw it and I, you know, I'm a delinquent, as you were, as a teenager. Yes. So stealing street signs is like, old hat. Well, you got to take one. You have to. My friends, there is a politician in Canada. He lost, but he was GK. You need that. And he was like GK with a Canada flag on it. You need that. And they stole that from me. And I have a handkerchief that says GK, GK, GK. That's incredible. Yeah. And that was, so what happened was because she, you know, she's a grown woman now. And she was like, I can't let my fiance pull the car over to steal a street sign. Yeah. And I went absolutely totally get what you mean. Yeah. And then like two, like later in the week, we needed groceries and I was like, let's go pick up some groceries. Yeah. And then I came back and I put that in the lawn of the house where it's staring at. And she came out. She's like, you got it. And I was like, I definitely grabbed it. And I did the thing where I was like, no one's coming. Yeah. And pulled to the side of the road and then yanked it out. But good news is Kathy Nolan won. Yeah. And she affected. Yeah. And she is a fascist. Well, we had to look around. Yeah. Yeah. And they are. Okay. So that way we went. All right. Very progressive. Okay. So progressive that they would probably be mad that we stole the sign. It looked like a hate crime. Yeah. Yeah. That's exactly how you look. Just the guy to do it. Oh, they're all right. Yeah. Yeah. Taken away. No, they. Them's up in my mountain town. Yeah. No, I am. People write just bad for me. Yeah. Yeah. It was her like going to make a coffee and being like, why did you get that? You know, it was a little stinker. Did you get a little kiss? I did. I said, I said, give me some sugar. It's good to see you. So you have a Jewish guy's hair? Oh, yeah. I was saying when you get a hair transplant, the doctor tells you that the texture changes, which is funny. You know, I've long bit it about my, in my upcoming special about getting a hair transplant. And I will say, for those of you at home, when you are wondering if a celebrity has hair tits, look, look to the hairline and look to the texture of the hair. Yeah. Because if they have different texture hair, they probably have had a hair transplant. Yeah. You do. Guys, we know that it happened and I go, oh, your hair is a lot different and they're like, yeah, I don't know. And you're like, I do older. Well, guess it changes. Guess I have also Matthew McConaughey's hair texture. Remember what he did that? Yeah, but you know when he said he didn't get a hair transplant? No. Because if you look back, he's like balding. And then he did like the Matthew McConaughey thing where he's like, actually what happened is I put some berries and some juices and you go, no, you didn't. You got a F-U-T. Yeah. It's called an F-U-T procedure where they take care from the back of your head and put it on the top of your head. I were eating berries. They got sped out. It was berries. It was the berries of surgery. I'm Matthew McConaughey's not his- I'm not going to. He's kind of got the whish. You got to get the whish. He does. The surgeon. The Jewish surgeon was eating berries, probably within the same week. He did it. With his. He's trying to get the light whish, like the gopher and Winnie the Pooh who speaks like that or the old pervert and family guy. Yeah. That's it. Stronger. Yeah. Got a good you. Stronger. Must be me today. Must be strong. I'm playing the ball. Oh, you got some berries. It's very fun. There's- It's the last thing Matthew McConaughey saw before the drugs took over and passed out. Yeah. He goes. So I'll be taking care of your scalp. Zip. Zip you open. Wait a second. Hey. Dude, I watched Pete and me. Awesome. Wow. Thanks, man. It's great. Check it out. It's on YouTube right now. I'll put the link right now. Okay. I'm like blown away anytime in the- anybody in the comedy scene takes time to watch a special. It's like- Yeah, we've watched enough comedy. It's like, wow. You watched it. But let me tell you right now, right? Love it. Thanks. Love how you did the scenes with Pete, including him as his intro, including the videos where he calls himself Gaston. Yeah, yeah. I'm not Gaston. I don't want to be Gaston if I get- if I date a woman. Yeah. Absolutely. Wonderful explanation. I thought you did a really good job of explaining autism in a way of, like, there's no superpowers. It is a- it is- there are people that don't show signs because you- what I mean by that is the Gaston clip. I would look at your brother and I go, "Peter's not that autistic." Just in the way he's called- the way he's talking to you, he looks very like conversational and he's like- he's sitting there with his arm like, "I don't want to be Gaston." And if you walked into a room and saw YouTube talking, I'd have no idea. Really? That would shock me. Because my favorite- one of my favorite jokes is where you're like- he's not- he used- used to have a disability. And now it's like there are people who have regular lives or whatever he goes. So now, my brother has a thing that if you leave him alone for four to six days, he'll die. And you're like, "Yeah, but you don't understand in those four days. You would assume he drinks beer. He likes steak. He loves huge tits. Yeah. Sky rules. Yeah. Loves toys and cartoons. I'm going, "What's up, Pete? Are we hanging?" Yeah. Yeah. You do a great job. Yeah. You do a great job of the special of including the fact of like, "Well, my parents are incredible and have had this patience and got them an apartment." Yeah. I try and highlight how great my parents are. Yeah. You're a good job of it. They only took away me making fun of them. Really? Yeah. That's all they took away. Really? That's what's interesting to me about that is someone that does jokes about his family. Yeah. You have to prep them. People- I don't. People, you don't. Well, because last time I did a special, I had a joke about how my parents wrote like another joke about how my parents fight a lot and my dad can't say, "I love you." Yeah. And that's where- and you put a version of that joke into me. Yeah. And he wouldn't talk to me. Well, that goes- I'm not going to lie though. That is par for the course on a dad that won't say I love you. I'm not going to have to like your dad's pulling anything new out of his ass. Your dad's- I hate to take your dad's side on this. He's consistent. He is. He's going like- Yeah. You know who I am. Yeah. Well, why would you say that publicly? One of the things you're not missing out in having a dad dad is- Oh, it's been going through a lot of that recently. Is that- Well, is that when you achieve something and you're proud of it and you show it to them and then they make you apologize to them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, I- You know what I mean? Instead of saying congratulations. Twice. Two specials in a row. Just people who lost parents young will tell you that there's a moment in their 40s and this isn't for everybody. But there are a lot of people that I've talked to about this that had similar like lost their parents before the age of 15 or 18 or whatever. You hit your 40s and you look at your friends and you go kind of fucking glad because I made fun of Lewis on the regs about it. Like his dad would want money. My dad would want money. Yeah. I've been saying this to Katie a lot recently. I go, dude, if my dad is still alive. Yeah. Very small chance. I like him. Very small chance that I'm like, oh, you know, who rocks Gary? Yeah. The more the thing where he'd be calling me and I'd go, he's fucking calling me again. Yeah. I don't want to pick this up. But I mean, I got a tough beat. Yeah. Danny Boy. I had a tough beat. Oh, Danny, booty. I mean, Sarah Soda. If you honestly, you make my life if you could give me this. And you wire the casino five grand to get me out of this hole. And again, not my fault. Of course. It's the dealers. They're Asian. They count so fast. And you go, Dad, that's not a good excuse. They can see better at night. Did you know that? They must eat carrots. I think that's why there's always carrots and bond me sandwiches. But so my question to you is what's fun about watching a special and knowing you is like something I don't get to ask. What are your comedians that are watching specials your first 10 minutes is about or for first five minutes is about. how you want kids, but you live alone, you're almost a gay man, because of how I live here. And then now you're married with a baby, and you're like, well, you got what you wanted. I'm gonna open my next special by being like, millions of dollars in a giant acreage of land where I can go escape with a fresh water well. I'll never have that. When you, when you like go back and wash it, that's gotta be fun to be like, guess what buddy? Well, when I recorded, I knew that she was pregnant. Oh, I found out, so I worked on making that special for two years, and then I got the off-broadway run there at Soho Playhouse, and the second show of 25, I found out. And the first line is like, I'm never gonna have kids. And then I just couldn't figure out how to incorporate that. 'Cause you can't go. 'Cause the whole conceit is that Pete will always be there. And it doesn't matter, I'm never gonna have kids. But what I didn't know is that my 42-year-old girlfriend could get pregnant. Fun? Welcome to 2026 out. 42 is the new 30. She's in great health, great shape. Baby's doing good. Turns out if you get your, baby's doing great. Baby's doing great. She's doing well. She just turns out if you get your, she was like played sports, so she got her, like when she was a teenager, she got her period late. Oh. And I didn't know that. It shifts everything later. Oh, yeah. Field hockey. Field hockey. Also, straight. Crazy. Yeah. Crazy. That's like getting a catcher and softball player. Yeah. I got a softball player. Oh, yeah? Yeah, dude, look at us. Oh, yeah. Our women should be together. Yeah. We should be together. Do you-- The four pals. The four pals. The baby in the special, you bring up your chances of autism. Yeah. When do you find out? I mean, it's kind of like until he's two, but-- Is it something you're, you know, you make a big point of it in the special. Yeah. Is it something you're worried about still? Well, we're going to give him up for adoption. It's his first sign. Yeah. I was half a sip closer from blowing that shit all over your face. It's a little hard-close. You almost just got to get taking a face to coffee. He's like, yeah. Can you count to three? Half a ass. Yeah. He's like six months old. One, two, three. She's filling up the paperwork. Yeah. Listen, I got a hot ticket. You tracking this? Put him out. Yeah, put him out. Yeah, no, I'm honestly just for some somehow, some way. I'm not worried about it. And she is not worried about it. She hasn't said anything. She's just really-- You haven't talked about it. We've talked about it. We talked about it before it happened. I don't, don't tell me. Oh, mom and, you know, it's like, oh, mom and dad aren't mad at each other. We just have to live in different places. You go, oh, we're always mad at each other. I will admit that. Yeah. You grow up and you go, yeah, there's the opposite of it. But I feel like if you have a fear of, because you said of your genetic chances of autism, if you had a baby with a woman in her 40s, you'd go like, hey, yeah. Are you freaking the fuck out about this? Because I'm freaking the fuck out. Yeah, I mean, we've definitely been like-- he's making all the markers. That's good. We're both looking for it. We had a chat about it even before we got pregnant. Because we just started dating. And I was like, hey, I kind of want to have a kid. And she was like, well, I'd be down. But we'll see. I don't know. And then, and I was like, there's a higher chance of autism. And she was like, yeah, I mean, I'm not worried about that, you know? It was that, yeah. And again, watch the special, and you don't understand this question. Was that relieving after being with someone that was like, I can't do that? I can't risk. She's such like-- it was a huge relief. And look, it's not like I was forcing every second day that I had. I was like, do you want to have a kid with me? I'm an autistic child with me. Don't almost see much of it. I'm a comedian. Are you sure you're not autistic? You're a second day, you go. I have to be very upfront with you, the chances of autism and our child are skyrocketing. And also, money will be up and down. Yeah, it will be an emotional roller coaster. We might have a special needs child. Are you on board? I don't know. I didn't even get to look at the appetizers yet. And then I would just walk out. I would flip a table and walk out and say, shut up. You stupid woman. Can I say either way it goes? And I hope that your baby's great and everything's on the up and up. Pete's going to be an awesome uncle. He's so good. I mean, one of the highlights of my life was when Billy was born, we came down with my parents. He did. And I gave, you know, he held him. He was like, I'm the uncle. Peter Parker Spider. I'm like, this is your uncle, Peter. And he goes, Peter Parker Spider-Man. And then takes the baby. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Idiot. You stupid idiot. And maybe he'll want to do Burton Ernie with me. Unlike you getting flamed out. Did you worry about, and it will come back to him being an uncle, but did you worry about when you said, like, hey, Burton Ernie is a fun. So he explains in the special his brother who is autistic would call him and do a perfect. Yes. Do a perfect. Ernie. He's like you. He's got the same skills. Yeah. We're one A1B. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, we feed a lot of the whole syndrome and autism. They live in the same realm, but he does such a good, a bird that I was like, or Ernie. Yeah, a bird. Yeah. He goes, hey, Burton. Yeah. Would you worry about your dad being mad about seeing that joke? Were you worried that Pete was going to see that joke and be like, oh, you fucking hate doing Burton Ernie with me? So not about that. So I opened for Nate in Ottawa recently in front of 18,000 people. My parents Peter came, we were the senators play, we were the senators play. It was insane and they, I found out where they were seated, kind of like in the lower, lower bowl and I did a couple jokes about, so just let the audience know that I have a brother with autism and I, at the end, I go, guys, my, my brother's here, stand up Pete and he stood up and there's 18,000 people and I go, cheer for Peter, Peter Parker Spider-Man, everyone say go, Peter, Peter Parker Spider-Man, Peter Parker Spider-Man, Peter Parker Spider-Man and he stood up and he stood up and he went, oh, that's, that's no, that's 18,000 people. And there's a picture that Noah Nate's camera guy took. That's incredible. He like, I didn't have to tell him it was going to happen. He just got it and he's like this. It's on my Instagram. Oh my God, I'm going to go, we'll put it right here, we can edit it right here, what a cool moment for him. Yeah, it will, dude. It was the best. Did he say anything about that to you? So I do, the point why brought it up is because I, one of the jokes I told was that, you know, one of the annoying things he does is, I don't have to worry, I'm glad I have a brother with autism because I don't have to worry about going home for the holidays and arguing about politics. Yeah. When I go home, the thing that he does that annoys me is he makes me watch back-to-back episodes of the Power Rangers. Yeah, you said it didn't age well. Yeah, that was. Which, by the way, again, pro Pete Point, sit around ripping beers, watching the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, sign me up, bro, I'll bring the stakes. Also, I'm going to bring you some Spider-Man action figures and we're going to watch Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Yeah. I might have to go to Ottawa and hang with Pete for an afternoon, come on for wagon for Pete. You just, just bring some NAs. He won't know what that means. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm bringing a six pack of Heineken NAs. He won't know. And he's like, and he also won't care. Yeah, it goes great. If you just bring a couple, a couple Diet Cokes, he'll be looking at them Diet Cokes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I'm going to put on the movie, my Power Ranger movie and he's like, wow, let's go. Yeah, but he, so, you know, I go backstage and I'm like, Pete, how is that, you know, all the people. You just got to 18,000 persons in innovation. Yeah. And he goes, you shouldn't have said that about the Power Rangers. It's a fine program. It's a very good show. Is that what he said? Yeah, he should not have said that about the Power Rangers. That's cool. All right, well, I guess thank you, Peter, but with him as an uncle, he immediately took to it. Yeah, he took to it. He knows how to hold the baby. Yeah, he likes, he wants to see him on like, you know, on like FaceTime and stuff. It's awesome. It rules. He's, he's always, you never ask questions. But he asked questions about Molly and he asked questions. He always asked, how's Molly and how's William? And I want to call him Billy. Sure. Molly doesn't want to call him Billy because she says that sounds like an alcoholic. And not completely wrong. William is a strong name. Will is fantastic. It's good. Billy Austin Kay just rips. I love that. You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, it's like an alcoholic who writes good poetry, you know, and writes cool plays in the South. Billy Bob Forten did a fantastic job. She goes, not an extra, no, no, no, no, he goes, have you seen those new T-Mobile commercials? Yeah. He had a friend said that they were receptionists. I sucked his words, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yeah, that's, but so is that a fight when you call him Billy? Yes. Should we go don't do that? She's like, don't do that, and you know, but I'm bigger so I can do what I want. Sure, also, I would imagine, I don't know what it's like to have a dad, I'd imagine it's pretty cool when your dad has a name for you. That is it, you know what I mean? Where he goes like, hey, what's up, Billy? Like when you see him, when he's like gonna be a teenager, you're like, Billy, come here. And then you go, well that's dad talk. Yeah, my uncle, my uncle Tony calls my cousin Nolan Joe. Yeah. For no reason. Yeah. He goes, hey, Joe, I just, I love that. I think that's so cool. I had a friend growing up, his family, his name was Johnny, they call him Bugsy. I love that. No idea why. Yeah. It was so cool when you viewed his house as dad was like, "Bugs, come downstairs and you go, yeah, Bugsy." What, that's such a cool name. Yeah. My mom was like, "Damn y'all." Yeah. Yeah. So biblical. Yeah. I guess I'll just go be an accountant. Yeah. What you have sex with women. When I was young, my mom was like, when I was like five or six years old, we were driving somewhere and my mom was like, "Could I call you Danny?" And I went, "Can I call you Trish?" She went, "All right." And she was like, "That is so nice. How are you?" I was like five or six years old, because my dad's family, my grandma, and my aunt, and my dad, my dad didn't. But my grandma and my aunt would call me Danny, and they can't tell them to fuck off. No. So like, maybe if you get Pete to call him Billy. He won't because he found out that that's what Molly wants. He wants, and what Molly wants him to be a million. So. So he calls Molly. So he's like, "Well, Graham, we should do what Molly wants." You can't, you can't break up with Molly. No. You can't. But. Simply can't. Yeah. Simply can't. Yeah. Yeah. Because that was my way out of him. Yeah. But he's a good. You don't want Molly to leave you, he'll say. Hey, chill, bro. She'll be like, walking around like, "What happened?" And he'll go, "Nothing. Nothing." He says, "He's worried. I sex you too good." Yeah. Yeah. Are you going to break? The story about, you tell a story in your special, and again, go watch the special, repeat me about him lovin' big tits. When did you learn that? When was that discovered that, "Hey, Pete's gonna yell out "ta-ta's," or what does this scream out? Who who's? From the movie. He got who who's from "Dude wears my car" with action-culture. Shout out. His favorite films. I mean, you know what? They had to write it for somebody. Yeah. And they wrote. 14-year-old autistic. This shall be my cannon. [laughs] Turn the writing room with all the things on the wall and go, "We're writing this for a 14-year-old boy with autism." Yeah. And then they go, "That explains everything." "That explains everything." Yeah. You know what? All your jokes make sense. Yeah. Fantastic. We will still do, like, there's a scene which no one remembers, but Peter and me, where he's, like, on the back one guy's. Yeah, it's his. Stiffler says "Dude." The other guy says "Sweet." They get tattoos. He goes, "What does yours say? Dude, what does yours say? Sweet." No, what does yours say? It's like, "Who's on first?" It's for stoners. Yeah. It's who's on first. And Peter, it's just, Pete has trouble, like, getting a lot of, like, modern comedy. But he gets that. It's, like, he understands why that's a joke. Great. And so he loves when, like, we can just do it. How much would it break your heart if he got crowd work? Like, if you saw a clip and you go, "No, Peter, I don't need you to understand in that." And he goes, "But find out what they do for a living." Yeah. Yeah. And if they get up, are they taking a shit? Yeah. Also, ask the person next to him if they fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And on the second date, I think that would be nice. 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You can get up to $3 million in coverage in the same policies as low as $30 a month and you'll get your lowest rate from their network of trusted carriers. Listen, that whole life insurance world, very scary and I don't know a lot about it. That's why you use ethos to help you through it. Take 10 minutes to get covered today with life insurance through ethos. Find your free quote at ethos.com/soder. Has he been overly critical to your stand-up, your whole career? I don't think he really understands what's going on. He likes to go and he likes that everyone's laughing. He thinks that's cool. He does his special needs group. They organize things on Fridays to go out and hang out, to go to a restaurant. Sometimes they'll go to an absolute comedy club or yuck yucks in Ottawa and then he'll stand in the back and I'll be in New York or wherever on the road somewhere and he'll go to the headliner at the end. Oh boy. He'll be like, right up to them and he's big. My brother is like 6, 3, 250 and he'll walk up. And again, and I mean this is a compliment on site you would not quickly maybe conversation you can see it, but you watch somewhere quick clips you two together and you go, "Yeah, okay, yeah." Which one? Which one is it? And he'll walk through. Right? You guys started it up. Which one are you in? It's like they're twins. Which one? I don't know what you want to have. I don't know what you're talking about, Dan. I don't know why you would say such a thing. But he'll go up to the headliner immediately after. And he'll walk right up to them and invade their personal space and be like, "My brother's Graham K, look at this." And then he'll point at his groin and then he'll pull out his Spider-Man belt buckle. And so people will be like, "Ah!" It's just. Also effective. Yeah. Also effective because they go, "Who's Graham K?" Yeah. And is he related to Spider-Man? Yeah. I like how nobody knows who I am. I said, "Have you ever had anybody that goes?" One message every weekend, every second weekend, I'll get a message from a guy I kind of know being like, "Dude, your brother just walked out to me." They'll figure it out. That is better. There is also something I will say to be on the wrong side of a special needs group outing. Is when they don't inform. When they form you. They don't inform the comedian. Yeah. And you're up there. Yeah. Yeah. You go, "What are you moaning about?" Yeah. You can't see his little light. You're like, "What are you moaned about?" What are you moaned about? You just have to leave and turn up the lights. You change. He has one of my favorite stories about that at McGubbies, the Timonium. It was right when he was doing the Special Olympics joke, but it wasn't the closer. And it was when he started headlining. So it's in the middle of his act, because you want to have big bits throughout your act. And he said, he was doing that, and it was getting like this weird reaction, and he's like, "Why are you guys being all fucking weird?" And the lights are right there. And someone would go up to the bathroom and he looked and he was like, "Oh, no." Yeah. And he got a whole table, a special needs people, and he didn't. But it's not his fault. You got to prep him. Yeah. It's on the club to go, by the way, that group. That happened to me. I did my show, and a bunch of special needs, like people came, it was like the whole audience, like my brother's special group, like needs group came. And to support, and it's like, this is for the brothers, it shows for the brothers. Quit making it all about you. And you tell someone with autism stop making it all about themselves. Not black people. Yeah. They'll them too. And I'm not talking about it. Dude, I have a different perspective on your conditioning. Listen, Jackie. Yeah. But you really don't like it. It shows for the brothers. Yeah, you go. This is it for you, this is for the ones that, you know. For was that accent? Was that my accent? I don't know what it was. Was that an autistic Canadian accent? I was trying. Yeah. I've never been able to get a good Canadian accent. That's it. I don't know. - That's not how we speak in Ottawa. - Yeah. - But were they a good audience? - No, laughing at the wrong time. - That's almost like running with weights on. We're gonna go do the hour in front of the group and you're just gonna go crazy and they go, but you'll learn the strength you'll gain from it. - Or it will break you. - After doing an hour about one topic, are you like, I'm cool, never talking about that again. - Yes, that's kind of what I did it. - Was it fun to like-- - I mean, I probably will talk about it again, 'cause your stuff will come up, but-- - Yeah, it's your life. - It was like this big thing, like I've been doing comedy for 19 years and this is big thing in the background I've never talked about my the whole time, 'cause I didn't want anyone to laugh the wrong way. Like I would jump into the audience and kill them, strangle them to death, watch the light leave their eyes and I wouldn't care. - And I'll say, I would tell you this, I've seen pictures, you can go back to the first episode of "Grammas On This Podcast." He was an athletic man. He did time for a crime, he did not commit. - Yeah, I am. - He was put away. The viral clip of yours on this podcast was from you getting locked up. - Yeah, that's right. - For spray painting. - That's right. - But, bad boy comedy a lot of people are calling me. - There's also a picture of you where you straight up look like Wolverine when you're like 18 years old in your military school. You'd fuck some shit up. So someone, you went in the audience. - I don't doubt you would choke someone out. - I probably haven't been in a real fight in 20 years, but-- - Yeah, but you know what? Someone laughs at your brother the wrong way and all that knowledge comes right. That's your genre. - I got into a lot of fights from 16 to 24. - Yeah, those are dangerous times to fight. - There's a lot of tea. - Yeah. - There's a lot of testosterone and a lot of opportunity to go to jail for hurting somebody. 'Cause that's when it does become a crime. It's 18 years old. But also I do feel like that is your thing that'll hoke you up. Like I said, that's your-- - Yeah, it will. - That's your John Wick dog die. - So, yeah. - So I'm making fun of your brother and you go, I'll stomp out this time. - Yeah, yeah. So I didn't want, I didn't want to just talk about it because maybe I just wasn't, I was scared and I probably wasn't good enough for a lot of the time to figure out how to thread that needle where it's like in grandizing him and making him seem cool, making him the hero of it, of the joke and I finally figured out how to do that and then I had like, you know how it is, like you have one bit, then you have two, but then you have three bit. And then you're doing it on the road and you're like, I'm doing like half an hour about autism in my like 45 hour long headline set. - Yeah. - It's like, people are coming up to me, like parents are coming up to me and crying after the show and like we have an autistic child, we were just coming to see comedy, we loved it, but it was a lot for us. We were trying to get away from it tonight and we couldn't. And that happened like more than a few times. - Which is in a reaction that you would expect where they go, hey buddy, it's my whole life. - Yeah. - And I'm trying to come here or jokes about apps. - Yes. - Appetizers and mobile apps. - And mobile apps, only those, yeah. - Apps are what, again, apps are what we're looking for. - 40 minutes apps, yeah, yeah. - I'm on it. - And I want to eat some apps. - I want to eat some apps while I watch jokes about apps. - Yeah. - In that situation, do you feel like it's apologetic? What do you feel like? 'Cause you go, well, fuck you, I'm doing jokes about my life. - I am apologetic, but not like, I'm sorry, I did that, I'm like. - Sure. - Yeah, I totally understand that that's my life and they go, but they're never angry. - They're like, it's usually like a dad going. - Do you ever have them? - And then I'm going, like, it was just, I love my son, now she's thinking about her brother or the other son or the other, you know. And it's just like a lot. And so anyway, I just was like, I can't this, I'm writing more jokes about this, I can't, now I can't do an hour of just only autism on the road. I'm not a big enough draw where I can do that. Half the audience, three quarters of the audience don't know me. And they're just coming to see comedy. And then there's a guy talking about autism, you know, so I needed to go to a specific place. I needed to become a thing. It's a show. And like, that's why I did like a, - It's wise, it was a wise move. - One man show, you know, it's just stand up, but I did a beginning, middle, and an end. - Man, I always hate when you go to what's previewed as a one-man show and you're watching it. You go, it's just stand up. You go, this is just fucking stand up. - Yeah. - This guy's just doing stand up with AIDS. - Yeah. - Not the virus, the visual AIDS. - I went to, I went to Edinburgh. - Yeah. - And I did French to like, you know, we're figuring out how to do a one-man show, how to basically make a through line. And I know you did it. And-- - Yeah, but I did it. And I was like, everyone was in my head, where they're like, you have to have a theme. It's gotta carry you through all the time. And then Ari Shaffir was like, do your hour. It's an hour that you're filming for HBO. Run that hour. - 100%. - My publicist, which is very, a very important part of Fringe, is what they tell you is to hire the right publicist. So you can get people to your shows. I knew nothing about the UK market. She was like, she didn't watch the act or whatever. And the first night, I didn't do well my first show. - No, it, yes. It didn't go like the preview. - Fringe is the worst. - I like it for different reasons. But my first, my preview show didn't go well. I had an hour and it ended up being 46 minutes when I ran it, that night, it flops, whatever, whatever. And I'll just remember her. She was very nice, but pushy woman. And I'm side stage after the show and I'm like, that fuck, it sucked. I got a whole fucking month of this. And she goes back and she goes, you didn't tell me you was just doing stand up. And I went, what? And she goes, you're doing just stand up. - Yeah. - And I went, what am I supposed to do? She was supposed to have a show. - And then she left. - It was the most dramatic way. - Like a cape? - Yeah, and she really did. She shouldn't have forgotten. - Let's go. - Yeah, let's go. - You're supposed to have a show. - You left and I went, bitch, this is a show. But that was part of what annoyed me about Fringe. I go, y'all are just doing stand up but you got air in between your jokes. - It's all it is, dude. It's why, I mean, we can get into it. But it's like why British comedians aren't as good as because they can. The cog in their wheel is Fringe, Fringe shows. And they have to turn over a new hour every year. And only 20-year comedians can do a new hour every year. - I don't even think that. I think you need two or three. - I do. Anytime you see a famous person put out one a year, I mean, Nate's the only person I've seen, do it. No, I'm only just saying that because he pays me, but he can do it. - I mean, Louie did it. - Yeah. - Bird did it a couple times, Nate can do it. I can also, I will argue that you can't do it prolonged. It's the, you can, it's like. - Nate's on a bit of a heater and that's, you know what I mean? - Oh my God, I was just doing watchin' the last night at the seller and I'm like, I think he's number one. He's just like, I saw five bits and I was like, oh, you're like watching you go, oh, I gotta go right. - Yeah, man. - But, sucks. I do think you're, but I do think what helps them doing the hour a year is the fact that it is somewhat emotional, it is somewhat using visual aids, videos, other thing. Like, taking stand up and going, we're not really doing stand up and you go, well we are. That was the thing that annoyed me. I met so many great comedians over there, from the UK, from Ireland, from fucking Canada, from Australia, you know, it pulls in people from Europe, Switzerland, shit, I'm at all sorts of comics that I liked and I had great conversations with. There was a couple though, there were a couple that were pretty fuckin' insecure. - They're so serious. - And they were real quick to start talking shit about American comedy, like I'm not an American. And you're like, all right bitch, if we're gettin' into this, we fuckin' smoke you. There's like those after parties, so to explain to people that don't know about the Fringe Comedy Festival, it's a show with like, it's in Edinburgh, Scotland, and it takes over the whole city for the whole month of August or July. It's August, right? - Yeah. - It's August, and it's like, the whole month, you do a show every night and there are fuckin' so many shows. There's people stabbing themselves in the balls with needles. There's people-- - Like as a show, not just a guy, but-- - Well, that's too long of that. - There's a lot of-- - Those guys are there. - Opie, it's a horror problem in Edinburgh as well. And there's just like a bunch of shit goin' on where you can watch pretty much anything you want to. So the idea of doing just straight up stand up does look a little stiff or like, not corny, but just like, oh, you're not being artistic. It's like showing up to a Halloween party, not dressed up. - Kind of, yeah. - That's what it feels like. And they're like, what are you and you're like, I'm me. This is just what I do. - Yeah. - But, I met a couple that really wanted to try to get me to go like, yeah, what you guys do is art. And I was like, I don't give a shit. We're mall clowns. You're talkin' to the wrong guy. 'Cause I'm goin' like, well, in our country, you go against the David Busters, not a trapeze artist, but this one Irish comic, who I did not like, and I let it be known after this hang. I was like, hey, me and you were good. We don't need to talk. He was trying to get me to admit that he was like, you see, that's the difference between you. Americans and us look at this. We're doing shows every night every night We get it ready for the year and we do it every night. You aren't hustling like us Yeah, and I go we do this every night. We do multiple spots in the city every night What are you talking about stand-up every night? And I got Sean Patton was the one that had to kind of like pull me away Because I was like what the fuck are you talking about like we don't do shows every night? I go this is your making fun of an autistic brother. You just start straying on But in the city in the city American city with big fucking buildings with no Really getting fucking hyped up to the point where Sean was like yeah, I don't know if those after parties are a good idea for you Yeah, cuz I wasn't drinking and he's and honestly I'll cut the guy some slack. He was like kind of drunk Yeah, but that whole idea of like what I what got me ticked off is when he goes See that's what you got you Americans can't acknowledge we do a new hour every year and you guys can't do that I go no we're better than you. Yeah, we we cuz we work on it. Yeah, and we we run an hour. You never do an hour Yeah, we do an hour every two years. Yeah, you do You know are Arza's you're all fart. No shit. And I mean, but there aren't but then to be fair there are The acts you see over there. We go as fucking phenomenal. You watch an hour of it and you go Yeah, I'm not trying to despair. I'm not trying to say like The all these UK comics suck. There's just phenomenal. It's a big place with a lot of talented people who are amazing But he talked to team. I like a lot of them. He's talking to us loss about it. He's like yeah, they're all full of shit He's like the first one. Yeah, and you go. Yeah, you're a bad You're a fucking fantastic comic to those jokes and he goes yeah, and he's front of Edinburgh And he's like yeah, it's just fucking it's just it's just a bunch of new comedians doing misdirections thinking their geniuses Yeah, it's like the amount of like misdirections I would see on like hot shows at nighttime. Yeah, and being like and it was my and I said hey mom They go and they set up like a sex joke, but it's and I think it's like a girlfriend said hey And you're like oh an old audience is like but then you also it's fun. It's like that meme with the guy's like That what was funny to me was like Realizing that they don't like sex jokes the way we like sex jokes. They don't have sex. Well, they do But I think they do it very like yeah, but not yeah, yeah, and I was doing the thing about it for a good rule drink And I was he I was doing a joke about eating ass that's on my HBO special and they were just like No, thank you. That's how sails would get sick No, no, no, that's how you die it's see that's how you get ruby eyes But it really was like it really was a thing where you're like learning about audiences So it's good. You didn't did that show because you really like realize yeah I mean it did it definitely did help and then I mean And you did you do get the hang of it at the end of it But you did make me feel more comfortable about silences because you're just you like that's big one of the things that like I Like you know, I do clubs and I grew up doing clubs in the city here and like you just I just try and I'm my whole thing is Smashing and you just you kill and then you get off stage and no one really knows you or members who you are Yeah, and then you watch like another comedian and and they're really good But like they're they take their time a little bit and show see I have and then you then the audience maybe doesn't laugh as much They definitely don't laugh as much, but they know who that person is also the impacts of those jokes yes Yes, yeah, yeah, it was something I had to learn yeah, I wish I were to learn that 10 years ago same because to me a comic That's comfortable with silence on stage reminds me of the confidence of a man that's comfortable without a shirt Yeah, I'd kill for that. Yeah, who doesn't have a great body. It's just but it's like orange. Yeah, he just takes his shirt off Yeah, it walks around and I go I Can't even when I'm at Jay's pool in the privacy of his backyard ago You guys aren't looking I'll take the shirt off of the pool Everyone starts puking I didn't think it would look like that But you really like you really understand the value and especially from going to a place like for injury go oh Silences are also you know important for the act. Yeah, and that that that Turns out these British comics are better turns out you've got a full circle on this podcast Yeah, no, why I brought it up is I forget why we're talking about this But I went off running the show of an actual making it into you and you know the story of your brother And I think we were talking we're anyway. I I I went to go see somebody else's show like one of these yeah, like for guys with needles in their balls Yeah, and And me and the Southern comedian and we were he we didn't he was we were sat at different places because we didn't go together but we knew each other sure and and the guy Like classic one-man show and he's like and then I threw the ball and I cut the ball and I look like that Fred Arneson sketch and then he's like I and I used to listen to you had a record player behind them and he's like and I used to listen to my my mom's record Oh, you know any any was like and I loved it and then I went outside and I played football with my friends by the tracks and I threw the ball and then And then he goes over to a stool and the lights darkened and there's a spotlight on him and he's sitting on the stool and he turns around He goes and then I was ready for four hours and then everyone the audience but and then I look over at the other comedian We're both good Yeah, yeah, I'm not I'm not a lot of you that would fuck and make me laugh We're just like We go and there really is a thing and I don't know what it is is I maybe we're desensitized in North America Something's wrong with us something's wrong with us, but you do go to a friend's show and they're like I didn't realize having my Genitals band would mean and you're like Like dude come on you can't fucking act like we're not gonna laugh at that It was everything it's an awful thing that happened to you if it happened and I'm probably did I'm so sorry. That's not why I'm laughing. It was the presentation And you might you might want to mark this because I have to clear this with Katie to see if I could tell the story Yeah, but we watch Jeopardy every night and there's a commercial for Shen Yun. Oh, yeah The Chinese ballet before communism. Yes. It's the pro. It's anti-communism pro-capitalism Chinese ballet So Katie and I always would joke around about Shen Yun's coming to town Shen Yun and for Christmas this year We open our presence and we're sitting around and Katie goes, oh, I forgot I have one more present for you And she goes and bust out an envelope and she got us tickets to opening night of Shen Yun at Like why am I forgetting where it is Rockefeller Center? No, not Rockefeller. What's the big Lincoln Center Lincoln Center at Lincoln Center And I'm like, yeah, we're going to opening night at Lincoln Center. So, you know we go There are people there that take that very Very seriously like I'm talking about Chinese people that might have lost their family to the current government that are like yo Fuck that. I'm ready to see some classic Chinese ballet with a pro capitalist spin and There was a moment where they like talk about the religious side of it where like God came down and they do this thing Where the two people are dancing and then they like act like they're jumping into the screen But they fall below the screen, but then they appear in the screen and then they fly around and Katie and I Had to fight a laugh that was so hard that we were pinching each other's legs because we were going like To the point where it was we left Intermission because we were laughing so hard that we were like dude. This is just disrespectful Yeah, yeah, yeah, we saw it, you know, but it was crazy It was just such pure propaganda. Yeah, that it was so funny that we were like, but it was that thing of like and then I was raped brutally for four hours That's happening I'm about to laugh out of it dude. I could like feel the laugh trying to kick down my sinuses the laugh was like let me the fuck Out yeah, dude, they jump onto the screen and then they fly around and go like do come on Wouldn't be able to fly around yeah, and then they get in a chariot and they ride the earth and you're like, dude This is the best thing I've seen so I gotta see she said yeah Ghost is showing you this is China before communist. Yeah, and then I find they do a thing where they're like this stuff bad It's just it's phenomenal Propaganda that's how'd you guys get dressed? You dressed up here. Yeah in where come onos? Listen brother. That's Japanese learn you learn you're Chinese Did we did we so did we find the dance of the water sleeve beautiful? Yes, absolutely So really funny as part is that there's these two presenters that come out Kind of tell you it and there was a Chinese woman named Julie Sure, that was her name. Mm-hmm. That's how you feel when you go to a casino and you go, but all your name is Aubrey sure Yeah, but Julie and then this white guy But the white guy when you and setting up some of the things in Shen Yun would speak in a way where you're like, did you babble fish this straight from Mandarin to English? 'Cause you go, the next one is about a dance of a monkey. Monkey meets Crane. Crane is wise. And I'm like, can you feel me? You're like, dude, why is he talking like this? - I like I sang you. - Yeah, and he's going like, Crane learns Taoism. Crane learns Tao is powerful. Monkey now trains with master. And I was like, dude, why is he talking like this? - Dude, you're white. - Yeah, I know. I was like, I didn't look up. 'Cause I was like, why is he talking like this? - It's like, I don't know. It's about to break me. - Like two months old son's like, I get this. - Yeah, that's how I speak, too. Dude, it was fucking, it was tough go. So if you really want to test your power of your abdomen, go see Shen Yun. But I kind of like stuff like that because it makes me feel like back in school when you be laughing at a presentation with your friend. Those are the best laughs. You're not allowed to laugh? - Yeah, it was the best. It was the worst and the best. And then we like went out and we just were like, hey, let's look, we had like a nice hang after. - Dude. - We like we're friends for the rest of the fast because of that. - I won't give any names on this story 'cause I don't want to come back to me or Katie in a way, but we're at a family event. And we watched a drunk family member fall in a way. That it took, it took-- - I'm already in. - I can't give any more information. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And I will not say whose family it was. I will not say where it was. I will just say a drunk family member fell. And we had to go into the bathroom together. And I laughed in a way that I thought I was going to throw up because I was one of the only people that witnessed the fall, but Katie was with me. So she heard the thud. And then she was like, once we made sure the family member was all right, I was like, can you come with me into the bathroom? And I almost threw up, I was laughing so hard. 'Cause those are the best laughs where you go, come on. The world would be a brighter place if you could just do that thing. I'm like, yeah, if you and that comic would have laughed at that moment, instead of getting in trouble if you would have gone like, come on. People would go like, all right, it was out of nowhere. I think other people, maybe five other people would have laughed too, but it would have ruined the show and we would have been kicked out of Scotland. But you and those, that group of 70 you would have been a merry band of travelers. Yeah, you guys would have been laughing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the hardest part is when you're at a quote unquote, I know it's like an art festival, but a comedy festival. And they expect you to take something serious and you go, don't do that, don't do that to me. So did you feel that that didn't like influence the way you built the show, Pete and me? That watching that guy get, yeah. Where you go, I don't want that moment. 'Cause there's a moment where you go, Pete was trapped in a loan. And you know, you could have done that. You could have hit the brakes on something serious. The topic is very serious. I think that I have, like he was that particular performer was trying to do something different than I was trying to do and I think I have different taste than him. Okay, I'll say it like that. Very nice way of saying it like a Canadian way. I'll say it like that. - No, but that's a good question. Like you don't want to get to like melancholy, and you don't want to get, yeah, you don't want to get too like to corny in a way. - That's what I, that's probably the best way of saying it because that's how I felt. 'Cause at the time when I was doing my friend's run, I had a large chunk about my dad dying of drinking, but the whole point of my joke was that this is gonna be funny. - Yeah. - This is gonna be funny, the whole way through. - It's gonna come along with me, yeah. - And it's like, it's okay, you can laugh at it too. Even if your dad's alive and doesn't like alcohol, just laugh at the joke. And there was this thing of like you go to fringe and they really want you to be like, make it sad as fuck. - Yeah. - They want the opposite. - It's like this weird thing where they want it to be like, like trauma porn. - Yeah. - And it's like, can we do it? I don't, I want this to be, I want this special to be happy and fun and silly and show that he's cool and that if you have a brother with autism or a son with autism, your life is not ruined. - Sure. - And that is the point of this. Because everything I watched when I was a kid when they were like, Peter as autism, watched this VHS tape about autism. Maybe I want to blow my head off, you know what I mean? It's like, I want something that like a 14-year-old kid in my shoes can watch. - Sure. - And be like, oh, it's gonna be cool. It's gonna be fun. I'm gonna have a friend, get a brother and everything. It's just, there's gonna be some special things that we can take care of. - 100%. - Yeah, I fucking love that. And I think that's like exactly what someone, you know, I like when people make shit for like past versions of themselves. But you know, I, you know, I could have used this hour when I was 14, you know what I mean? Like, I think about that sometimes with my standup where I go, I would have liked hearing that joke when I was 14 or 15 of my dad died and being like, oh yeah, fuck yeah. While I'm looking at it sad, he ripped, he drank, fucking go carry, you know, and you go, oh, that would, even though I know it would maybe might not have solved what I was going through, it's just like there's a little alleviation. - Yeah. - Where you go, this feels fucking good. Now, do you think that would make you feel good? - Yeah, if I would have seen that when I was younger? - When it right after he died. - Yeah, I would have been like, oh, that's funny. Because I think with me what standup did, especially when I was younger, was it taught me that like you could make fun of shit that I didn't think you could make fun of? - Yeah. - Not always blew me away. - Yeah. - That I was like, oh my God, I mean, you know, and I'm not gonna say the words, but Chris Rock bring the pain, the black people over his n-word bit. I saw that and I was like, that's crazy. What a joke and you like see the construct of the joke and you're like, the comparison and you go, oh, that's brilliant. And I think that's why like, that's part of the reason why I'm against making comedy for kids, 'cause I think you're robbing them of-- - Who's making comedy for kids? - There's just people that go like, you know, I love Nate, but Nate's like kids should be able to watch standup and I go, I agree with that, but I also think you shouldn't make jokes for kids. I think you should make jokes. My favorite part of standup was having, was learning why it was funny. - Yes, and like watching your dad or grown-ups laugh? - Oh my God. - And then the moment when you're like 11-ish and you get it on the same level and you're like, I'm in. - Yes. - I'm like a grown-up. - I feel-- - I love that feeling, I love that feeling. I still get it when I see grown-ups laughing. (laughing) - But I would say that's part of my biggest problem with entertainment that's being made now. And listen, I'm talking about as someone that's developed shows that's gone to the networks and heard what they're saying and they go like, well kids need to be able to watch this and you go, I don't think that's true. I think there is stuff, no, granted that's not everything that's being made, but in comedy, there is a lot of people at networks, the big networks that want like, well kids got to be able to watch this and you go, well I want a kid to get in trouble for watching. - Yes. - And not in an easy dirty way of just dirty words or they're just saying stuff like, I want a kid to go like, well that's kind of an adult-themed thing. That's why I liked Mel Brooks so much. Because it felt like I was listening to an adult conversation that maybe I wasn't supposed to understand. And then it's what you said. It's when you did understand it. And you're like, yo, this fucking rules. - It rules. And it's supposed-- - I will say Nate's engine is whatever he thinks is funny. - Sure. - But it's mostly about a kid can hear it and not be-- - I'm fine. - And not have a parent go like, well, like have to have a weird, an uncomfortable, I don't know. So I mean, it's not like we all have different styles and his style just perfectly adheres to that. - That's what I'm saying. He's just like, perfectly funny and doesn't cuss. - Yeah, yeah. - And it's also what I've always said about Nate. It's like finding out one of your favorite desserts is also as health benefits. - Yeah, yeah. - Where you go, really? I'm not an absolute piece of shit for liking this. But-- - Yeah, he's a raspberry. - He is, you go, tell, I can eat so many of these. - Yeah. - Do you think Pete's gonna now expect you to have jokes about him? Like the next hour, whatever it's about, if he sees that he's like, hey, you fucking talk about me, bro. - Maybe, I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think he cares. - That's also it. - He does not care. He doesn't really-- He doesn't be like, you're doing comedy, that's good. One time he did ask me, he goes, you're doing, I'm doing, hey man, I'm gonna do jokes about our relationship. You know, it's called, it's a show called Pete and me. And he goes, are they nice jokes about me? And I go, yeah, they are nice jokes about you. And he goes, that's good. That's the only time he's ever asked anything about my standup. - Man, what if he called it and you know, you're saying like, he doesn't have the counting thing of autism or whatever. What if he calls you and you found out his autism is just breaking down jokes and he just annihilates you. He goes, hey, Bert, that's not a premise. - Hey, Bert, this is a thought you could write down. You go, all right, well, let's chill the fuck out on that. - You're very wordy. You call that a cool bit, that's not a cool bit, Bert. And you go, stop nailing me right now. I'm trying to get this hour out. - You know what, I don't like autism. I just hang up. - It feels like you should fucking move back here with mom and I stand in the hallway. - Yeah. Go watch it. It's fantastic. - Thanks dude. - Pete and me, it's the link is in the YouTube. Go watch Graham K. - Thanks. - You've seen him before on the show. He's hilarious and one of my oldest friends. - You're the best. - You're the best. And you're the best Pete if you're watching this. I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know, but come Spider-Man. - You don't watch it. (upbeat music)