Incel Interior Decorator

We had our friends, we spoke with our friends and they had a little submission over, at part of my take. I want you to hear this, put on your headphones. It's an interesting, interesting thickening the plot over here, maybe. - Let's hear it. - Injuntino, bad friends, great show. Out on all platforms, Apple Spotify, YouTube, great guy, Injuntino, shout out to him. - All right, so I won't get into details, but if you were to say you can't pick Bobby or Injuntino as your favorite parts of the bad friends podcast, what would be your third favorite or one favorite part? - I'll go with Fancy and the Booth. Shout out to him, great guy. Wait, he's a film producer, does a fun video. - Who else is in the Booth? - Film producer? - Yeah, I think they have a good man Booth. - That's probably that. - All men. - Yeah, a lot of men in the Booth, yeah. Shout out to the Booth. - Do they have any producers? - They got recurring guests. I think the lady who plays in the band on Killtoni is recurring once upon a time. What about the girls who's obsessed with eating oncrustables that we could maybe have you go out on a date with? - Oh no, she sits on the inflatable couches. That's not the Booth. - Oh, shit. - Yeah, great show. What is show you guys should all check it out. It's great show. I don't know. She loves oncrustables. - Great, I will say great snack choice. - Yeah. - Oncrustables fantastic sandwich. - You have great eyes. - I've got to, I actually have a, I don't know if I have any more because I did move. I did have an oncrustable puncher, so I could make oncrustables at home. - Oh, you had your own? - Yeah, they make ones you could just punch them out. - Fuck yeah. - Yeah, so you could do it with ham and cheese and peanut butter and jelly. - Sounds like you guys would make a great couple. - I, great show. They run a great program. - Oh my God, he likes you. - He likes you. - He likes you. - He really likes you. - He got scared. - Yeah, that is true. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - He's still a collab. - So Paul, we got to do a collab. - Pause it on him. - Yeah. - Pause it. - Pause it on him. - It's fat Andrew. - Things should be a bad friend. (laughing) - You don't know fat Andrew? - This gentleman has a big crush on you and he's, he's perhaps shooting his shot is what I feel like it is. - That's what it feels like. - He's a really nice guy, I met him. - So uncrustables, you like them? I don't even know that. There's an uncrustable in the house. - She ate them on the bird pod when those guys came on the show. - That's right, that's right. - She ate like six on camera. - Okay. - There he is. - So here's Zach right there. - Awesome. - Would you go on a date with Zach perhaps? Rudy? - That could be you. - Um, he's, I like his eyes. - You like his eyes? That's a good start. I'm sure being blue is what I call it. - Are you interested in maybe going on a date with this man? If we set this up the guy in the left, he's got a big, big crush on you. He was too shy to say it to me when I met him, but now we know the truth. - Maybe, what does he do it? - He's a producer for that show, for part my take. He's a producer and he's very good at job. Unlike the producers that we have on this show. - I like the Hammond cheese idea. - You like the Hammond cheese uncrustable idea. So this is something we could move forward on perhaps if we can get emerging of maybe-- - Where does he live this guy? - Chicago. - It's not gonna work. I think it is. - She doesn't like winter. - Okay. - So that's him on the right, cool guy. - Cool guy. - Press as well. Good style, smart, sweet, funny, very funny guy. - Funny guy. - So what do we think? Rudy, can we maybe do a date? - Yeah, maybe. - We love Zach very much. He's the man, and maybe we'll set up a little date for you guys. 'Cause you might like him. His style is cool. So is that a yes? - Yeah. - Wow. - You two are bad friends. - You are these two idiots. - Woo! - I hate an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. - Woo! - Are you two or something? - I'm bad friends. - Welcome to another episode of "Bad Friends." I'm your captain, little robber, young Lee. - And I'm on the shore saying, pick me up. - Pick you up, and I'm gonna pick you up as soon as the fog. - Woo, woo, woo. - Exactly. - Hey, can we go to an ICP show at some point? Woo, woo, woo. I wanna get sprayed with fego and get soaked in sugar water. Have you not seen these concerts? They look so fun. I wanna woo, woo, woo, dude. - Woo, woo. - You know who ICP is? - Whoa, go! - What? - What's ICP? - Well, I got it. It's closely related to urinary track infections. - Is it? (laughing) That's ICP, that's the insane clown posse in the show's are all over the internet again. - Yeah. - 'Cause they spray everybody with fego. - Exhibit number one, can we go to. - It's pop, it's soda. - Soda pop. - And that's fun. - That's fun, look, they're spraying everybody. - They're spraying everybody with soda pop. - And they all wear mixed up. - I do grape. - I was at this. - Yeah, yeah. - I'm not. - You were orangeed up on this, Fanta? - I was here. - Yeah, yeah, he was fanted up on this. - I was playing a show in DC and someone goes, there's an ICP gathering at the. - The New Reflecting Pool? - Dude, no, this is back in the day. This isn't recent 'cause they went there before and I went and I was there. I was there. - Yeah. - I got UTI there. (laughing) - Urinary track infection. ICP insane clown posse, you never heard of them before? - No. - Rudy Jules is back on the show. Give it up for Rudy. - Yeah, and I wanna say, welcome back and I live with her. And she said, what does she say when your mom left? - The clean. - You're gonna clean. You're gonna do everything that she's done, right? Let's, can we go to. - All the towels. - All that, all that. Can we go to exhibit number one? This is my fridge. (laughing) Okay, this is my fridge and my fridge is supposed to be stacked with sugar-free red bowls, diet coke and balls of water. And what we got here exhibit A is an ice doom on the side. (laughing) All right. So we got one of those ice dunes that you love and then, yeah, so nothing in there. And, exhibit number two, please. - No towels. (laughing) - This is supposed to be packed with towels. - That's fake. - It's nothing. - I restock your towels all the time. - Too late. - Too late. - Too late. - I feel like you just take out the towel. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. - You used to do many towels. - Exhibit number three, please. - You went from A to two to three. - You know what this is? - Warts, footwarts. - It's a very close. - Yeah. - Yeah. - She let Julio out when my girlfriend was over. So, we're supposed to coordinate. Julio goes eight shit crazy. - And bites her. - And bites her in the fucking foot and she starts crying. - Can I be honest? - It's small, it's not that bad. - Yeah, yeah, that's her fault. - No, that's not her fault. - Julio's rabid, you know that going into it. - No, but you're supposed to-- - I've been coordinating. It was so quiet, I thought, oh, there's-- - We eat quiet. - They always do. - We eat quiet. - You're always loud. - Yeah, but at times, we are quiet. - Usually, you would be like, oh, we're at the-- - That's not, no, I'm not, dude. I'm not. - Hi. - No, you are, what? - You could just say, oh, we're-- - You're the IRGC, okay? All right, you're gonna act the way you're gonna act. - Right, but I don't like it. That's not bad, it's a bad reference. It's an IRGC, that's a bad reference. But, what is that? - What is that? - What? The Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corps? They got that right? Iranian Revolutionary Guard. - Are you watching a lot of face the nation? How do you-- (laughing) - Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps. - The IRGC. - The IRGC, yeah. So I got close. - I'm tuned out of all this. - I know you are. I'm remotely interested in it. - Yeah, but they're involved. - My point is, is this, okay, that you made my girlfriend cry. - I know, it was so sad. - And I wanted a public apology for that. - Well, here's the time. We're on public, we're on public. - Yeah. - Not here, why am I saying sorry to you? - What? Because she's my girlfriend. Apologize to me, and I'll relay the information to her. - I've always said sorry so many times, and she said it's okay. - Yeah. - She just cried because Julio was-- - It was so traumatic. - I saw it, nobody likes to get bit by a dog. - Yeah, yeah. - Nobody likes it. - I mean, nobody likes to get bit by a dog. - Yeah. - This is not a fun thing that happened. - It's not a fun thing that happened. - And people who don't have control of the dogs don't stock the towels, and don't stock red. - What say you? - Should feel better. - What say you? - I stoon. - I clean his house every week. It's just, I can't do it every day because I'm also babysitting. And he wants me there 24/7. (laughing) - Who are you babysitting? - I mean, she's also babysitting you a little bit. So it's kind of, it's a baby and a real baby. - He doesn't know how to clean the dishes. It's like there's shit stains everywhere. - Yeah. - There's like blood stains from-- - From my girlfriends? - From you. - Yeah, not a blood stains from my girlfriend from her foot. - From being bit by a dog. - Yeah, yeah. - There's a lot. And like, I'm also babysitting. So I tell-- - Who are you babysitting for? - Esther's babies. - Exactly. Exhibit B, dude. - Exhibit B? - Yeah, yeah. - Or exhibit two. Yeah, I don't know. - Yeah, it's two or B, it's two B. - So what say you? - Or not. - Or not, or not. - Two B. - Two B. - Two B or not, two B. - Unless coming home, coming home. - I don't care. - Wait, your mom's coming back? - Oh, she has to. - All right, the love on my life is back. - Yeah, yeah, she has to come back. - I gotta take her out on a dinner date. - Yes, dude. - Don't do it. - Bastilla. I'll take her wherever she wants to go. - Yeah, yeah, good. - I'm gonna take her on a nice restaurant. - Yeah. - Hey, you know what? She's gonna live with me now. She's gonna live with me and my wife, and she's gonna be, and you know what? - I need her, dude, because she's doing shit. - No. - Yeah, yeah, I need her, dude. - No, we need her now. - I'll take her. - I'll take her. - I'm taking her. - You cannot steal my Filipino. - Yes, I can. - Yeah, yeah. - I got on discount. - Do you have a contract? Do you have a contract with him? - No. - No? - Well, okay. - Yeah. - You ought to get a lawyer, dude. - You've never paid rent. - Oh my God. - Have you? - No. - Exactly. - Free car, no rent. - You paid. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - What else? - What else is going on in life besides you not stocking the tiles in the fridge? - Just babysitting, getting purge. - How many babies? - Two. - Extra as two kids now. - Yeah. - And you're watching. - No. - Yeah, he will never meet them. - Why? - 'Cause it has a sphere, do you even get there? - I don't know, I don't have a what? - That's fear, I don't know. - A sphere? (laughing) I've never met, I've never met her babe, babies. - They're really cute. - Yeah. I don't know when, how do I meet people's kids? It's like a, when do you? - Come over to my house. - No thanks. I just don't-- - I have like pool parties at my house with kids. - Like I meet his daughter because he brings her here. If Esther came on the show and brought her kids, I didn't. - Yeah, but if I have a date, like I have like a pool party, I meet with all the kids, which I do. - Not going to that. I go to adult pool parties. - I know. - Well, that's the problem. - That's your problem. - Why, because Kalal has a baby, comes over. - Daddy, you should come. - No, put it in the cage. (laughing) Don't you lock those things up, put some bananas in there and you can walk away for a couple hours. - White kids? - That's what you do with whites. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - You lock 'em up and you go-- - I do, you do. - No, Brandon, no. And then you go do whatever you need to do. - Yeah, Chad. - Yeah, Chad, sit. - Yeah. - My parents used to leave me in the apartment and go to the bar around the corner and I'd look at them out the window, walking to the bar. - Cut, I want a white kid, Slav. - You just leave it. - You do? - You can leave whites. - And you're gonna go climb the cliff. They love the climb the cliff. - We're big cliff climbers. - Jump it off. - Latch key kids. - Latch exactly right. That's what we are. - Yeah. - Latch key kids. - I was latch key, were you? - I was a survivor. - I was a survivor. - Yeah, yeah. - We're out in these streets. - We're out in the streets. - I was driven to-- - They threw mashed potatoes at you. - They threw them at you for sure. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I got driven to school by a guy in a station wagon with his wife who could have easily been childhood doctors. We just got put in, they were like people in the neighborhood. - Yeah. - Not good. - We had no homeless. - This is when I was in Chicago, so we had homeless. - Yeah. - Growing up, I had no homeless. - Right. - Yeah. - And then when I first saw one, it was like star, star, star. - What do you want to hug him? - It was like running into Canada. - There's two homeless people that were on the news. They were boning right at the street from here. - Yeah. - They're boning. - Because when you don't grow with homelessness and then you come to LN, you see it. - Shocking. - It's great. - Oh, you like it. - Like the movies. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like Voldemort. - Well, you heard it here. If you're a homeless person, and you need somewhere to live, we'll put a Bobby's address down below. - I poke it. - Yeah, go to Bobby's house. - Yeah, yeah. - You poked one? - Yeah. I didn't think it was real. - A homeless person? - Yeah, yeah. - And I went, "Poop!" - It's so real. - You think it's all part of. - I thought it was all a part of. - C-B-S-R-A-A. (laughing) - I thought it was all about AI movie magic. - So you're just babysitting. That's all you're doing. - Yeah. - Good. Pull the mic closer to your mouth. It's been a long time. - It's been a long time. - Oh, she doesn't have the headphones on, so she can't even hear that she can't. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Don't put it on. It's fine, you don't want to ruin your hair. - You don't want to ruin your hair. She had some romantics. - Romantics? - Yeah. What happened to that guy? - You were dating that guy. - Yeah, that's it. - He just came back. - Guava guy? - Yeah, he came back into the picture. - The Belgium guy. - What happened with him? - He came back. - Did he not come back? - He came back and that's it. - Oh, so you're dating again? - No. - No, that's over. - No. (laughing) - Oh my god. - It's not over. - Friends with benefits. - No, it's just over. - Are you playing the fifth? - It's just something. - Well, what is it? - What if Fauci? (laughing) - How the fuck did you let that happen? - Yeah. - How did you sleep that night? - Yeah. - What is it? - We're just talking, we're just blah, blah, blah, but it's not like there's a label in it. - Yeah, labels are hard. - Sure, but especially in that age range, they don't fucking. - They don't know. Yeah, you're generous and even don't. You don't even know how to do it. - Yeah, so. - Yeah. - So if he texts you now to hang out, you're gonna hang out or go, no, no, no, no, no. - Yeah, but he's in Belgium. So at home. - I thought you said he came back. - He came back last two weeks ago. To hang out with her. - Do you stay at your place? - No, they get it. She pays for an Airbnb. - No, he did. - Okay. - He did. - All right. - I don't have money for that. - You make you waffles? (laughing) - With strawberries. - Yeah, they love that. - They love it. - They love strawberries and waffles. - He's a white, though. - Yeah. - Yeah, he's handsome. - Shocked at you with the white. - Yeah, trader. - Yeah, trader. After all this shit, you talked about the white. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Now you're back with the white. - Not that white. - All right. - I don't want to hear about that. - Yeah. - You like babies? - I'm okay with them. - She's good at them. - I would never hand you a baby. - No, she's so good with babies. Oh my God, they love her. - Doubt it. - Yeah. - Yeah, she's like the Filipino version of that one girl. - Hi. Hello, Timmy. - Who's that guy? - Miss Rachel? - Yes. - Okay. (laughing) - I call her that one girl. (laughing) - Yeah. - She needs the kids to love her. - They do, huh? - Yeah, I don't. - Do you think they love you? - I don't know. - They feel safe around you. - Maybe. - The babies. - Aunty, aunty. But I got lady to like me. - Oh my God, yeah. - Who's that? - Oh my God, you have no idea what I did the other night. - What? - It was like lower the ring stuff, adventure. I'll tell you that. - Where did you go? - In my house. I went to my house. And I, - Small adventure. - It's a small venture. - Bedroom long. - And so, Kalayla, they have a new dog. - Lady, that's right, you said. - You know lady, right? - Yeah, they named it lady. - Yeah, and then I had to. - Really stretching the bounds of it. - They are. - It's a guy though, right? - She looks like lady from the trowel. - Lady in the trowel. - Oh, that's original. - Yeah, yeah, hack. - No. - But that, yeah, she does look like that. - Cute dog. - Cute dog. So the other day, she was gone, right? And so this is what I do now. She leaves them in the spare room. So when she's gone for a long time, I'll transfer the dogs into her room. - He never listens to me. He's so incompetent. It's like crazy. - Yeah. - Yeah. And the reason why I put her in, because it gives her a time tick. Because if you don't get home, the dogs are gonna poo and pee on your bed. - Yeah, that's good. - It's good. - It's a lesson learned. So I keep 'em in your room. - I always beat that house. - Well, get home soon. Because they're gonna poo on your, pee on your bed. - I'm just gone for hours. And then you react like I'm gone for the whole day. - No, that's it. - That's not true at all. You said you got a couple of rights, seven. I can look at the game. What time? - Now eight. - Those are the four hours that gets awake when you're gone. - Yeah, yeah. - Dude, you're so smart. God, you got on a walk. - I'm telling you. - I'm telling you. - You need to free yourself from this prison. (laughing) - I tell him, I'm leaving at six. I'll be back around like 11, 10, 11. And then he acts like I'm gone for the whole day and then he never listens to me and then the dogs shit everywhere in my room. And he's like, that's what you get. (laughing) - That's what you get. - That's what you get. The irony being, it's your house. - Not all my dogs. - But it's your home. - Exactly. - So the poop is still inside of the home that you own. - I understand. - So this is kind of a double story. - It's her room. - Sure, it's a her room inside of a home that you own. - Yeah. - It's still your house. When you move out. - Yeah. - The poo house is still your house. - I know, then I do a deep plant. - Right. - And also can I say this. The other day, I made a very nice spectacle in your bedroom where the cat's vomit on it and all the trouble of ants that went to you and to you. - Yeah. - Smart. - Yeah. - That's a little extra flavor that I put in there. - What? - I told you, don't let the cats inside the room and you left the door so wide open. - Yeah. - And then there was so much vomit in ants. - You're like the guy who lights the house on fire with his family in it and you stay in the house. - Oh yeah. - You don't leave. - I have to die too. - Yeah, you have to go down with the ship. - I'm one of those guys. - Yeah. - I'm finding because the heat we have baby lizards are in the house now. They've found their way in. - Yeah. - But the problem was I keep trying to get them outside and I want to kill them. - Yeah. - So I keep trying to scoop them in the cups because if you grab them, they're so sensitive. I tried to grab one the foot. - They're so quick, right? - Well, it's foot fell off. (laughing) - Really? - They can regrow stuff. - What are you ripping feet? - I went to grab it with my hand like this but they're so sensitive. They're not good for touching. It's foot fucking came off. - Wow. - And then my wife was like, it's foot off. And then I tried to grab it again and I felt like another piece of it fell off. - Yeah. - And so at this point, I sandal flicked it out 'cause I'm trying not to kill it. - Yeah, you killed it. - And while he's limbless now. - You do it limb by limb. - I call it, we call him Lieutenant Dan when he comes back. (laughing) The poor fuck though. - Yeah. - This is the third lizard we found in the house I've tried to get out. - They're so small and quick. - But he said, the pool guy said, it's 'cause of all the heat that they're trying to come inside. - Keep them in. - Yeah, I would say that. Keep them in. - Listen here, poo room. - Yeah, yeah. - I don't want the lizards in the house because then other animals are coming in. If the lizards in there, that means other animals are in there. - It's a different house situation. - By room. - Yeah, we don't have poo inside of our house. - Yeah, yeah. - We have like flies. - My wife and I don't even poo in our house. - We poo outside. - Yeah, we have high ceiling. - We've been to his house. - We dug a pit. - Yeah, yeah. - We have high ceiling. - We have regular ceiling. - No, you have high ceiling. - They're like this. - No, they're mentioned. - He said you have a man. - He would say that. - Yeah, yeah. - You do have a mansion. - It's a regular house. Carlos has been in my house. - Not a regular house. - Is it like your house? - Growing up. - No. - Now. - He lives in an apartment. - Exactly. It's not like your house. - Well, a house in an apartment is not the same thing. - It's very defensive, guess it is. - Sure. - They're both fucking lodgings. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - But a rod. - It's a normal nice house. - Yes, it's a normal nice house. - I don't think it's a normal. - Okay, I really do. - Don't get into this. You live in the hills. So cut it the fuck out. - All right. - Hollywood Hills guy. - You're flatland people. - Just for facts. - Why don't you just get your own apartment? - Just get your own apartment. - Well, I need an actual job. Work like job then he'll give you some money. No, I'm not you should give her some money. Just clean my house She can't yeah, I'm cleaning your house. I can't just tonight. Oh, no, you're going out You act like I got to clean every hour you act like I got to feed the cats every hour Mm-hmm, so I can't do that Did your girlfriend She's staying at the house a lot or no to does yeah, does she do it? She's sleeping over more than nights more nights than not. She's now it's getting there Like do you think you'd move it she'd move in is that getting to a close point because we are this is kind of that time It's been what over here. Yeah, yeah, no, it's not that time dad It's yeah, you have no idea what you're talking about. She should move in. I think she should move in It's been a year. There's no time like today, and I'm gonna say this. Okay. You're 55 years old It's not it's not dude that that The next okay, like sands through an hourglass. I have no idea. So are the days of our lives. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what I and let me tell you something these days Yeah, and that's why I don't want to do it. Oh, have her move in. No, no, I wanted to live with us. You do you love her Oh, she comes in you're out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, if you're yeah, no if she's in you're out That's okay, cuz she's the best and then we're gonna go I think I okay Good luck sleeping You have a nice room now. Yeah, you don't you? Yeah, you're down your downstairs, aren't you? No upstairs? Oh, and also I redesigned a room Oh, you did get interior design. I'll be careful what you wish for Yeah, what it's like what it just looks like an in-cell room You living in it Why is there no windows? It's just dark like yeah, the walls are that's not in cell Darkness is not in cell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it is Bring up AI in-cell room. I guarantee it's just a dark room with a computer and a plate full of food and empty cans That's not in a cell room. Yeah, that's an in-cell room. No, that's what this one that one. There it is Yeah, that's your room looks like that. Yes, no, it looks more like go go up. Yeah, the first one It looks more like that. Yeah, dark like that. Yes, it does dark like that just dark walls. Yeah, and that's your fucking living room. High ceilings That's my living room. I've just one target on the wall Yeah, and a bunch of different blankets that don't matter. That could have been us. That is us That's us in our in our core. Yeah, there's oh two nights ago. I went to go see a a quartet play Michael Jackson's greatest hits It was amazing a cellist a piccolo a violinist and a monkey Go do a bar. Well bubbles was there. Yeah, bubbles played. He better. It was amazing though. It was incredible It was hard to not sing along You forget how many songs that you're like I know every one of these lyrics off the wall is great album thriller that Yeah, you just know every like you it's just tell me if you want to tell me any what Tell me if you want to Annie tell me if you want to Annie, will you come in bit by smooth criminal? You got bit by smooth criminal Dan dan dan dan and it don't do it. Okay, and it don't do you want day I don't want day Annie You've been bit by smooth criminal Yeah, that's exactly what that's exactly what it is, but I love it. There was it. Yeah, he Mikey Mikey skiped in to the show That was in a Men in black movie. Yeah, men in black too. Yeah, that was what that screenshot is from Absolute so nothing new in your world other than babysitting you're just babysitting Yeah, what's your career going to be now now that you're free and clear of all schooling? No, I still have to go back to school Wait, I thought you'd done. No, she's in school graduate school. Oh, graduate school. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's your degree in hotel financing? Gonna buy hotels What is it business management? Huh environmental health, but I think I'm just gonna switch it to nursing Like a good old Filipina. Yeah. Yeah, you're you're going to hate That job fastest way to get a job immediately. Yeah. Yeah, but you're going to hate that job. I know you're working That was working a podcast after that. Yeah, was Kalala nurse. Yeah. Yeah. She was training. Yeah, the Kalai her sister at the Kalwa. Yeah You got to be a nurse. It's in your blood Yeah, but she's I can't wait for first day And she's gonna come over. I'm gonna go see you're here. You're gonna hate it. You're gonna hate it Work for like two years and then I'll just know you just you have no time to retire at job Something I'm gonna make enough money to retire for two years. You're gonna be running back to podcasting Ethos. I just got life insurance Thankfully and thank you to ethos for doing that and the best part was I applied super quick and I can and I did it online because back in the day These did like have you go see a doctor? 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I like drinking mountain-do inside my home But why not get out touch grass? It's the fall rake some leaves grab a can of mountain-do crisp. It is crisp Yeah, it is. It's been tasting great since 48 citrusy. It is quite good man. Yeah, it's got it's specific essence It's distinguished you understand it when you know it. It's refreshing. I understand it completely 1948 two brothers created mountain-do deep in the foothills of tea eat double n e double s double e why not grab yourself a mountain-do today get out there enjoy the outdoors with mountain-do an American original tasting great since 48 from hanging out around the bonfire to just hopping into your friends truck Get outside and enjoy a mountain-do my friends look for mountain-do in stores near you Shopify we have an online business here at bad friends We wouldn't use anything but the best and Shopify has helped us sell our merchandise Well, here's why they said they help the setup and the checkout Shopify is all in one It's so simple. It's so easy and here's the other problem when you are setting up a business no matter what you're selling online There are so many other elements that you'd rather not have to take care of and Shopify makes it easy They do everything to help you start selling including the day one out the box experience. It makes it so simple and easy I don't know why you don't use them Yeah, you know you don't have to be spending time fixing mistakes You want to be spending your time in the sun enjoying these precious moments with the people that you love and you know what that shop pay feature is Incredible. It's so so wonderful and easy and they shop five they power millions of businesses all over the world from household names Like motel and gym shark small businesses just getting started like us over here at bad friends If you're ready to stop putting off your business and start hearing Then you're ready to force Shopify start your free trial at Shopify.com slash bad friends today You heard him right start your free trial today at Shopify.com slash bad friends at Shopify.com slash bad friends Talk about it. So Andreas texted me What is and there was available tickets for Because I went a fit I went fishing two nights in a row. Yeah, that's not it Oh, it's not no. Oh, I thought that's the honest. That's not the other day No, I went fishing for tickets and all of the 70 mils are totally sold out except the i-max is there's a few but first row Yeah, can I find me find me may you want to go? Yeah, find us an i-max ticket buy it now three or four You put six in there. Yeah, but the problem is that when no that's really hard because I'll tell you why because it's going till September 12 No, it goes so we can wait until I get back from Australia get it. I'll buy it now Okay, I'm working right now. Yeah, we will we'll buy him to but you're not gonna buy him he will I will right after the show Okay, 70 mil 70 millimeter i-max i-max. Yeah, I'll pay for it. I'm Australia and Hawaii We'll do it. I travel in man. Yeah How much traveling man made a lot of country road Take me home. Yes, to the west place where I found I belong West patina ver Mountain mama take me home take me home country road Do you know who sings that song John Denver? Thank you Who's up here? No, I was looking this way one trivia. I know Yeah, yeah, do you know that song? Yeah, yeah, no shit. No, you don't sing it - Take me home. - Yeah. - West Virginia. - Yeah, yeah. - Country road. - Country road. There's no Colorado in it. - Colorado? - In the song. - It's West Virginia. It's about West Virginia. - Yeah, but there's no Colorado. - There could be. - Yeah, yeah. See if there's Colorado in that song. - Almost heaven. - Not at all. - Okay, zoom in. - There's heaven and West Virginia. - Country roads take me home to the place where I belong West Virginia, mountain mama, not Colorado. - That's what I just told you. - Yeah, you already said that, sorry, my bad. I don't ever read it. You know, I just memorized the songs, like the Annie one. - Yeah, you do what they do in Japan, where they do phonetics. They just-- - I love phonetics. - Where they just figure out what they think it sounds like. That's crazy. If you're seeing that when they do concerts from people from American, they don't speak any English, but they phonetically understand all the lyrics. - That's how I sing all my life. - Yeah, I know. - I know. - I know. - Yeah. - Annie, are you okay? - Yeah. What's going on with Annie? - She's not okay. - She's not okay. - She's not, I know that from the lyrics, but is she hurt? - It seems like it. He's asked her so many times if she's okay at this point. - Yeah, how many times, she asks her, oh my god. - Dude, type in, how many times did Michael Jackson ask Annie if she's okay? - Yeah, yeah. - I mean, let's take a guess. I would say-- - I would say, she's okay 24 times. - I would say it's 50 some odd times. - Yeah. - 40 times. - 40 times. - Or in the middle. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I'd say, Annie, Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? Annie, are you okay? - It's so hard to say. - Yeah, is that what the lyrics are? - Look like me. - Yeah, yeah, sorry. Annie, are you okay? So are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? - Yeah. - That's a lot. - I don't think that's that hard to say. - Say it. Annie, are you okay? Are you okay? - That's not what it says. This is Annie, are you okay? So Annie, are you okay? - Yeah, but it's show is not in the rhythm of it. - So Annie, it go, so Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? - Oh yeah. - So Annie, I got it. - So Annie, are you okay? Are you okay, Annie? - You've been hit by youth. - There it is. - That's it. - You've been struck by. - Why'd you say hit? - 'Cause it goes, you've been hit by. - You've been struck by a smooth criminal. - Someone with such musical talent that you have. - I have no musical talent. - credible you had done how to read music. - Okay. - Or lyrics. - Or lyrics. - Or lyrics. - Yeah. - I don't know what's going on today. I don't like it. - It's a wild little day. - It's a wild, yeah. I'm lost. - So your life's not exciting. - It is exciting. She gets looking. She looks forward to him when she comes. - She gets looking. - I'm off today. - What are you saying? She gets looking. - His brain is off like with his vocal cord. - Yeah. - Something's wrong. - Yeah. - They make you get gabapentin. - It's like you need to be reconnected. It's like they fucked up the wires. - Yeah. - Like they put one towards the other thing and they were like, "Shit, that was our Q wire." I apologize. Let me get back into my office. - You're here. - No. - Let me grind it in. I think I'm taking a gabapentin. - Yeah, take a gab. - Yeah, I'm gonna take a gabapentin. - A nerve inhibitor. - A nerve inhibitor. - Are those ballet shoes? - Yeah. - Are you in ballet now? - No, it's just. - You're a ballet? - It's just a trend right now. - Is it a quote? Is that a popular thing now? - Yeah. - Yeah. - Ballet flots. - How do you know that? - Because skim sassum. - They have 'em. How could you keep up? - You know, it's funny. She sings in the kitchen and I try to join. She doesn't like it. Yeah. - Sing? - Yeah, you and Esa do this. Where you go? - Us and you make me know it. I want to know it for real time. - It's a real carpenter? - Yeah, whatever. And then she's chopping things, right? ♪ Do you want to know in real time? ♪ - You know that song. Do you want to know in real time? - No. - We don't ever want to know. - Yeah. - Go, go. - Every want to know. ♪ Do you want to have a good time? ♪ - It's just chopping away. So then I'll come in and I'll go, ♪ Are you ready to have a good time too? ♪ - Yeah, the backup. - Right, the backup as she goes. Stop it, Tito Papi. Don't sing with me. Why do you guys do that? - Why don't you let him sing? - It's just his energy. - It's better. - It's better. - Singing energy? - No, it's not. And then you'll know her to even tell me who's singing. Like what are you singing? - You know us. You don't ask the song. - Who sings that? Do you want to have a good time? - Here, here we go. We got no band out of the go. ♪ Do, do, do, go, go, go, ♪ ♪ From your go, everyone knows. ♪ ♪ They want to know. ♪ ♪ Do you want to have a good time? ♪ Go, go, here we go. ♪ ♪ We don't ever want to know. ♪ (laughing) - That could be a song. It sounds like a song. - It really does. - I know it does. - You sang purple, right? - I did. - Living room. - That was nice. ♪ Purple rain, purple rain ♪ - I see why she's with you. - Yeah, yeah. - I'm saying that. - I'll tell you that right now. - Do you ever hum to yourself? - I sing to the dog a lot. - I'm just making made up songs. - Yeah, that's what I just did. - But to the dog. - Say so, I'm the dog. - Who? (laughing) - I'm the dog. - Who? - What? - Someone in the well? - What? - What's wrong? - Song, song. - Song, song? - Oh, what are you doing? - You want a song? Oh, he's asking for it. - What are you doing? - What? (screaming) - I sing songs. - Don't you sing songs to the dog? - Sing me a song, fuckface. ♪ My little sweetie, sweetie, pups ♪ ♪ Here's my sweetie, sweetie, pups ♪ ♪ We go outside and have the treats ♪ ♪ And then, and she's my sweetie, sweetie, pups ♪ - We went swimming yesterday, it was so fun, dude. - Oh, she goes in the water. She jumps on me, if I'm like sitting on like a raft. - None of our animals do that. - They won't go on you or near it? - No, they don't like the water. - Well, for a long time, she was freaked out, you know, why we used to have, at the old place, we had one of those like solar covers that goes over the pool to keep it warm in the winter. And she, a ball went on it and she jumped onto the solar cover 'cause it looks like it's stable. - It's quicksand to them. - She sunk into it. - Yeah, they don't like it. - And our friend, Jeff Dove, I mean like, 'cause we're all hanging out outside and I see it out of the corner of my eye and he's already like, Superman, parallel like mid flight, diving in. - But did it collapse on itself? - Yeah, drowned. - No, no, no. - Well, she's alive. - Okay. - You've seen my dog. - Yeah, but. - He grabbed her out of it. It was fucking unbelievable. - Yeah. - He was a savior, he was a hero. He was a hero that day. We salute him every time we see him now. - Who, your friend? - My friend, my buddy, I say thank you. - Yeah, I would have never jumped in. - Thank you, Jeff. No, for your dog, for any-- - For your dog, I mean. - Oh, you, okay. That's self. - I would have watched. - No, I would have watched and then I would have processed. And then what I do is I go, what do I do? So there's three little stages there. Okay. (laughing) - How do you react? - Yeah, I did. When she got bit. I processed it too late. - Why not? - Sorry. - You just held her leg. - I held her leg up like this, but he was still-- With him attached to it. - Okay, that helps. - Yeah, yeah. - You didn't say stop or try to get him up. - I didn't even know what was going on to be honest with you. - When a dog is biting someone, he didn't know what was going on. He's screaming and all that. I have to process all that. - You have to process. - Stage four is when I do something. - The blow, when the blow. - When the blood comes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I guess it's good you don't have kids. - It might be. - Well, because then, I mean, if a baby falls in a pool, you can't process-- - Am I bad? (laughing) - Am I bad, bye, bye. - I'm off today. - I'm off today, right? - It's like someone hit him like a cartoon and he speaks like-- - Yeah, did you fall on your head? - I did. - Yeah. - You know what you sound like right now? You sound like right before you fall asleep. You know when someone's talking to you right before you fall asleep and you start mumbling, you're like, well, we're in a car pool and you start saying shit. My wife says that all the time, she'll be in full conversation. I'll be sleeping on the couch and halfing it out and she'll be asking me not to be a side bit about that. (laughing) - Yeah, that's where I'm at. - I do that all the time. - I mean it. - She's like, do you know what you were saying last night before you? I was like, no, no idea. - Yeah. - Because when I start, when I nod off on the couch, see, I'm almost impossible to get to bed. - Yeah. - If I'm on the couch and comfy with the dog, I'm most likely not going to make it to the bed to fall asleep. I'll probably just fall asleep on the couch and then I wake up to piss and then I'll come up and go to bed. - No, no. So what time do you use the wake up on the couch? - To pee. - Like if you realize - 530, I wake up to pee. - Now have you smoked weed or drank it a little bit or no? - No, no, no. Sometimes I'm just tired. - So you just fall asleep and then when you get back to bed, do you wake your wife up or no? - She inevitably is waking up because I get, I jump in the bed. I can't involve in it. - Right. That's not good. - Well, you gotta let her know you're home. - Yeah. - Oh, you're a little ninja, ninja in the night. - I tiptoe, right? I do slow, like, blanky. - Ooh. I do the slow blanks. - Slow blank? - Yeah, yeah. I go like this. I slowly get in there. - See, I can't do it because then the dog, the dog wakes, you can't get in there. - Well, the dogs are in her room, you're peeing and shitting, you know what I'm saying? - Yeah, I'm just privately slowly. I never wake her up. - It's impossible. - No, no, no. I'm, I've got it on lock. The quiet stuff. - Yeah, but she must be a good sleeper. My wife wakes up. She's impossible. She's just like, "Well, if she hears the door. " - Oh, you're a big guy. - I'm trying to lose some weight. - No, you're a big guy. - I'm gonna get on Mugovie. - Yeah. Just the fucking shadow alone, when he's scary. - If I was, like, in the dark and I see, like, something walk by. - So if you're in the dark and then the shadow and the dark comes by? - Your shadow. - So a dark shadow in a dark room? - Yep. - Exactly. - My shadow is so looming that it can. - No, because you're not, I'm not, I'm not giving you a picture. - Give me the picture. - The full picture. When I go to bed, right, I put a mini light on in the bathroom. - I can night light. - Exactly. - Why not? And then, so I can see shadows walking by. - Why would you want that? - Exactly. - Yeah. - Yeah, but if I, your shadow walk by, I would know. And it would scare me. - Yeah, big shadow. - Yeah. - But anyway, don't do it. - That's my nickname, big shadow. - Big shadow. So the dog and I fell asleep on the couch last night. She fell asleep on my head. - Did she lick her face? - She, if I'm snuggled in the corner, she'll sleep in the corner with me. But sometimes because I'm fat, the cushion will like lean into the couch. You know what I mean? It like, it dips in and then so she will slide in and then she'll end up just flopping on my head. - Maybe golf trips you going daddy. - That's what she says. - And I say as many as I want you little bitch. - Yeah. - And that's how daddy takes care of this family. - Yeah, I like it. - How many golf trips? - I got to go. What else do I have? It's the only thing I like. - Bed rot, the way I've been doing. - I don't want a bed rot, dude. I don't want to be a bed rot. You're not a bed rotter. - Oh, I bet. - Oh, she's taught me. You become a bed rotter. - She taught me bed rotting. I thought you're up in that, now you got a baby seat. You got to be up. You can't lay in bed, okay? - Yeah, but when I'm not babysitting, I'd rather do nothing. - Somewhere in the house. There she's just, she's like, I'll sleep somewhere. - Do you eat in bed? - No. - No. - You do. - No, I don't. - You nibble. - Do I? - No. - No, I don't. - Never? - Pro-fuck you. - Hmm. - Yeah, watch your mouth. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - No, I don't. I'm not nasty. - I've just started eating a bed. - Like fried chicken. - Let me throw some stuff out and you see that. You eat in bed. - Go ahead. - Would you eat fried chicken? - In bed? - Yeah, Kentucky fried chicken. - Sure. - Extra-cris. - No, not Kentucky fried chicken. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Would a fried skin? - No. - On your bed? - No, 'cause I made a makeshift bowl that goes under, I tied her on my neck. It's like a little bib. - Okay. - So it catches all. - All right. Pizza. - Pizza. - Yeah, absolutely. - Yeah. - And I get it hot where the cheese is drippy. - Oh fuck, three stacked pancakes. - That's where I draw the line. - Blueberries, can't do pancakes. - 'Cause the stickiness of the stickiness. - Too sticky, yeah. - Now you're thinking. Now you're not kidding. - See? - Chips. - No, crumbs, too crumbly. - Too crumbly. - Yeah, yeah. How about this, ramen? - If you're in bed with me, yeah. - Yeah, okay, good. - Yeah. - I'll bring it over tonight. I love those parties. And then, okay, well, those are-- - This is actually a really good idea for like a restaurant that you eat in bed. - That'd be real nice. - That you eat in bed. We serve you in a bed. - Yeah. - What was the name of the place that used to be on third treat where you ate in like those big, comfy, it was like a big, it was like an Indian restaurant and you ate on the ground, but you ate in like these huge comfy-- - What street is on? - It's on third. - I don't know. Electrical Otis. - Yes, electric. Is that right? - There was, there used to be an electrical Otis in Los Felis. - No, what was the one on third street? Oh man, dude, I used to love that. You like literally laid on a big car. - Electronic. What are you doing? - Electro-carma. - Electro-carma. - It's always electric. Indians love to be-- - They have not got electricity yet, that's why. - Exactly, okay. - That's, no, so you go to the room, go to the big room. - What's your favorite thing in an Indian restaurant? - But they're chicken. What about chicken, man? No, what do I like? I like curries. - I like curries. - Curries. - Y'all know? - I like red curries. - Garlic none. - Red curries, yellow curries. - Garlic none. - Cold corn, I like. - Veggie corn, I love. - I love Veggie corn. What's the level of spicy? - Medium, I can't do, they get too hot for me. - Yeah, medium, maybe. - You like Indian? - Yeah. - Which one where do you go? - I'll merge. - Yes. - The first time we went to Rome, we went to the Colosseum. And you went in these long lines outside. And there were Indian guys selling bottles of water. And I loved it because it was like a song to them. They'd go, "Water, water, water, water for your health." "Water, water, water, water for your health." And I had to buy from, I was like, "The water guy's got me." - Very good. - There he is, "Water, water, water, water." - Yeah. - But they go up this long line. By the way, they must make bank selling bottles of water. They sell it for a euro. They probably buy it, you know, a pack for 12 for a buck. - Ancient Roman trade with India. - Spices, they love that. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? They kill it with the spice. They know what they're doing. - Yeah, the whole spice trade was through India, right? - If it weren't for them, you know, whites wouldn't have all the flavor. - They had no, why didn't you guys do flavor before? - We were scared of it. - Yeah. Now you love it. - We're still scared of it. - Yeah, what flavors did you discover during that trade? - Nutmeg. - Cardamom. - Cardamom. - Cardamom. - Yeah, what else did you get from there? - Tarragon. - Tarragon was a good one. - Staranese. - Taranese is a good another one. - Pepperica. - Let's go basic though. - Pepper and salt was huge. (laughing) - That really shook our hearts. - Garlic was huge. - Yeah, oh, garlic. - Garlic fucked you up. - No, but garlic, I think that's-- - Change the world. - No, but Italy garlic already. They had a lot of garlic. They used garlic on fucking anything. - Right. - They garlic in their cereal. - But in England and-- - Oh, you're-- - I'm not British. I'm Irish and Italian. - Yeah, yeah. - But the Brits, yeah. - People just got hot sauce about a year and a half ago, I think. - Right, they even-- - It was banned. - They banned it. - No hot sauce in Britain, please. - When you say hot sauce-- - The rise of black pepper. - Huge, black old, baby. - Yeah. - Cinnamon, part of them. - Cinnamon, part of them in ginger. - Ginger, big ones. - I need to get back to cooking, man. I can't cook for shit. I keep trying to cook at the house, and I ruined it twice. - What'd you cook? - I was trying to cook this like, mussels, pasta mussels. - That's such a difficult thing to do at home. - Yeah, I learned that. - Yeah, go basic. - But I wanted linguine with mussels sounded really nice with the white wine. - Bungole. - Bungole. - I can do a, um-- - Bolognese sauce. - Bolognese I can do. - Yeah. - Already pre-made, though. - Yeah, you open a can. - That's not absolutely not. - You homemade, you homemade? - Yes, you homemade. - I homemade it. - Well, give me the ingredients. - Tomato sauce. - Tomato sauce? - No. - Tomatoes. - Tomatoes. - Do you puree them? Do you heat them? Do you cook them? - Yeah. - Well, I take, extract it. I extract the tomatoes. - How? - What? - How? - To precision. In equipment. - Use a precision maker? - Yeah. So I've all the equipment. - You have a tabletop precisioner? - Yeah, yeah. - That's pretty impressive. - Right, it eliquidates the tomatoes. - You bought a liquidator as well. - Exactly. - So you have all these-- - I caught up the garlic. - You caught up the garlic. You caught up to the garlic? - I don't care what I say. - No, it's just shocking. I caught up the garlic. All right. Into a thine. - Thine? - Yeah. Just something long. - Whoa! - You ever call a business and get sent straight to a voicemail that's clearly from 2015. And just hang up. I haven't had that. - Well, you've reached-- - Exactly. - Yeah, I don't like it either. - I hate to like it either. - Your customers don't like that either. And that's why at some point you just got to say, "Let's fucking quo." That's right. Today's episode is brought to you by QuoSpeltQUO, the business phone system that is built so you never miss a call. All it takes is one miss call, agent, gentlemen. By the time you call back, the customer has already left a competitor, a five-star review, starting following them on Instagram, and shown up to their kid's birthday party. All of your calls, texts, and voicemails live in one place. So anyone on your team can pick up a conversation, see the full history, and respond fast. I don't care how big or small your business is. Quo, as you covered, they got optional built-in AI agents that handle after-hours calls, answers questions, and even book appointments, you're never going to miss a lead. And when your team is offline, so I'm telling you, if you are running a business of any size, no matter what, Quo is going to integrate with the tools your team already uses like HubSpot, Zapier, Claude, and more to help you save time, stay organized, and spend less time chasing information between systems. Money is on the line. Always say hello with Quo. Try Quo for free. Plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to Quo.com/badfriends. That's QuoQUO.com/badfriends. Talk space. Let me say something. I wouldn't be alive, I don't think, without talk space, because therapy has really saved my life with the traumas of my past. That's right. Talk space is the number one rated online therapy, bringing your professional support from licensed therapists and psychiatrists that you can access anytime and anywhere. You have to take control of your mental health. I've always said it. The word may feel uncertain and out of control at times, but one thing you do have control over is taking care of your mental health. Talk space makes it easier to start. You've been talking about mental health on the show for quite a long time, and talk space makes that so simple for you, particularly because you don't have to go into some weirdly lit office anymore. You can do it from the comfort of your own home or wherever it feels nice. Safe. Yeah. Wherever it feels safe. Talk space makes getting the help you need easy, accessible and affordable. Plus, most insured members have a zero dollar code pay. As a listener of this podcast, you'll get $80 off your first month with talk space when you go to talkspace.com and enter promo code space 80. That's space 80, S-P-A-C-E, eight zero to match with the licensed therapist today. Go to talkspace.com and enter that promo code. Space 80. I feel like you're having a stroke. I think I'm having a stroke. I think something's wrong. Well, today's first day without Xanax. Do you smell toast right now? No. You're fine. Yeah. I smell cinnamon. Why do people smell toast when they have a stroke? What a weird thing to smell? Because I really like toast. They could have made it something. It should have been something bad. Yeah, they should have. Yeah, something bad. What does this say? Phantoms smells are linked to temporal lobes seizures every day, sinus seizures, than a typical stroke. So even when they make toast, I don't smell toast. That's a good thing. That says it's a pop culture myth. Yeah. Smelling burnt toast. Not even real. Missing brain cells during a partial seizure, especially in temporal locointrigger fall century. What's wrong? Smoke rubber toast. You should call it to go into later. Why? Because in case you don't have a stroke. I don't have a stroke. I don't know. Yeah. Speak a different language real fast to me. He's fine. He's fine. Yeah, very good. Here's the Belfast warning signs. Balance, sudden loss of balance. I find. Face, arm, speech. Raise both your arms above your head. Oh, no. Oh, fuck, dude. I got it. Can we be another one? Sudden moments of pointing to the sky are a very indicative stroke. Speech, lured, strange, hard to understand. Ooh. Oh, no, no, I'm in trouble. Now, I hope you don't have one, that's dangerous. Well, I mean, if it happens, it happens. We'll have to switch it up. Well, no, that's not the, I, we don't want that. Let's switch it up, you know. We'll get the views. Yeah, well, thanks, fancy, here's more about the views than your actual health. Yeah, the death episode would be big. I was mad you didn't come to dinner with me in sports and that bummed us out. Yeah, you know, we had a lovely dinner. Things have changed, guy. What's changed? Relationship, I'm busier. I have more time than I'm giving to somebody else. Okay, but we're both married and we both found time to go to dinner together and we invited you 'cause we wanted a little, the boys get together. Yeah, but when you say downtown in sushi, I get scared. And I already know what he's gonna get, scallops. He didn't get scallops. Yeah, he always gets scallops. Now, this place was actually fantastic, but it wasn't just sushi, we got, what's it called when it's on the, let me guess, the grill strips, you know, what is that called, grilled meats on the car butto. Car butto. And we got yacca manago. Yeah. And it's always abada, it's always abada, like, you know. Yeah, it's a capabara. Rarabada. Arabiatta. Arabiatta. But we talked about you, we were mad that you didn't go. He didn't talk about me. I love that's why. I know, it's weird. It's weird to see you in love like this. I'm not in love, man. What does it ever mean? I love her. Slow burn the fuck up. You say I love you? I do. You're in love. If you say I love you. Yeah, I love you too though. Am I in love with you? Yep. (laughs) Oh, that's true, that's true. Yeah, that's true. It's not a good example. I love what, yeah. I mean, who in this room are you not in love with? (laughs) Right. Yeah, I kind of like her but sometimes I hate her. Well, she got to get back to it. Why don't you put up a checklist of things she has to do during the day? You know, like a chores, she won't do it, dude. And also, you know what a lover. But you gotta, it's rewards, like a dog. Like if she does something right, you give her a reward. Well, she hasn't cleaned my room in a very long time. We'll let's offer a reward right now. Four days. (laughs) I know. So how about this? Can I say this? I don't know. I want to say this. What? Before you go out tonight, 'cause you're going out. I'll clean it. You better clean it. Where are you going tonight? Are you going out? O.C. Fair. The Orange County Fair. You're going to drive the Orange County for the fair? Yeah. What's at the fair? There's games. It's like a carnival, right? Yeah. It's fun. Who are you going with? Hillary. Yeah, and then she only goes to get recognized. What? You love getting recognized there. I don't get it. Do you take pictures of the O.C. Fair with people and they come up to you? No. Yeah, you do. Does anybody is no one's ever asked you for a photo? Oh, I want to go to the alien abduction, the air raid. Yeah. The big wheel. Do you go on these rides? No, I hate rides. Yeah. Well, then what else is at the fair? Game. Live stock. Oh, there's animals. Yeah, animals. Wood. Food. Wood. Wood. Food. Have you been to the O.C. Fair? I've never known. I don't like fairs. I've never been to that. Yeah, you like unfairs. Yeah. Oh, there's a grand champion cow right there. Oh, yeah. 2017. We're still talking about that guy. Yeah. Well, after we ate and we talked about him. No, he's delicious. Yeah. He was very delicious. When they win it, then you can bid for it. And we bid it for the 2017, right? Huge. And we got to what? I think $300. Maybe. Just about $325. Give or take. Yeah, yeah. We bought it. We had a hell of a time. Just eating them. So many T-bones. So many T-bones. Way too many. Side hip. We ate some side hip. Yeah. You want to talk about a weird gig I had left yesterday. I was talking to Carlos on the phone. Good God. What was it? I did a private gig yesterday, like a quarter. Why do you do that? A corporate? Yeah. Well, you don't do corporate gig? No, I've never done it. Why not? Because there's too many rules. Well, this was no rules. I could do whatever I wanted. There was nothing. It was just, it was an interesting day. Tell me. Yeah. I did it at the Reagan library. How many people? Nine. Nine. How many people were there? Nine. Nine. No. Yeah. You just stand up in front of nine people. I brought Joey Saron from the commissary. You know Joey? Yeah. He's hilarious. The big guy. Yeah, he's like six, eight, nine. Yeah. I brought Joey. I was like, you got to come with me and do this gig and open it up. Yeah. Because I can't cold open to a room at the Reagan library to nine guys. Yeah. How much time did you do that? He did 15. And then you went up. And it seemed like a, you know, you know, eternity. Well, yeah. I felt like I was, oh my God. It was never going to end. Yeah. Yeah. He did 15 and I had to do like 30 or 40. Tough, tough, tough. Oh, I can't, I've done, I mean, I've done corporate meetings. Nine guys. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So hard. No. So hard. That's a no for me. But we had a great time. Who went? Me and Joey Saron. You did, these guys go? No. Hell no. He literally sent me the map of the Reagan library. And he's like, you're going to be parking next to an F-14. We parked my car under a fucking fighter jet. Wow. And Joey was like, I think I'm scared. Yeah. And I was like, this is, yeah. And then they brought us into a ballroom for which is the green room. It was massive. Yeah. And it was just a table with popcorn and a mountain valley water. Oh my God. And she said, do you need anything else? I was like, no, just maybe, maybe to know where the exits are. I was so freaked out, man. Doing these private gigs are so hard to do because you want you to go in being like, I'm going to have fun. I'm going to make them laugh. But they're so hard. It's nine guys in a room. Yeah. And by the way, guess what time it was at? Oh my God. Let me guess. 2 p.m. Oh my God. That's even more of a nightmare. 145. Oh wow. And I was like, and I asked, I said, why in the middle of the day? Because they what? They went to the Dodger game. Yeah, they need to take a look. They need to get to the Dodger game. Yeah. No, but it was it. I'm not saying anything bad about him. Very nice guys. You can't. No, I'm saying you can't do well in those scenarios. It's so hard. It's so hard to you stand up in the dead middle of the day in a room with nine people. And they're not prepped. By the way, the woman putting it together goes, this is even funny. You're going to laugh. The woman put, are you in a blue tube right now? Yeah, it had to go. You're fine. The woman who put it together, the sweet woman that was there, Karen, who I love, she goes, and the best part is, they don't know they're getting a comedy show today. I was like, that's not the best part. That's not the best part. No, I go, they don't know. They didn't know. I didn't know. No one told me that. No, no. I didn't know until we were already there. So they're not fans. No. No, but they didn't go. Andrew Santino and they stood up. Oh my God. That's that's true. Ask Joey Serone. I call him right now if you want me to. I'm going to call Joey. Ask him. Wow, Andrew. I literally sat on stage. Joey can vouch. I said, hey, how many guys know who I am? Not one hand was raised. No, it can't be. It can't be. It can't be. It was incredible. I loved it. Well, I had to laugh through it. Like, what are you going to do? Was it a birthday present? No, it was like a, it was like a boy's trip corporate gig for this guy. Don't have his number. You want me to call him? No. Okay. Yeah. It was insane. But we still had fun. That's why you bring someone that you like on the road. Yeah. I went on the road. I bought Jeremy Watkins ones to a corporate thing. Jeremiah Watkins? Yeah. Or his twin brother, Jeremy. Whatever his name is. And then, I know. I'm off today. Here's Serine. We're calling you Serine Branson from now on. I'm so sorry. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry. Terrace Taisen's head to the pits. Go to the pits. So, um, it's a very heavy burlative tonight. Jerry Watkins. Jerry Watkins. He's on the road. You big, big dog, Jay Watkins? Yeah. Jay Wat. And he bummed so hard. He bummed so hard. He'll even, if I call him, he'll even pick up and talk about it. He bummed so hard. All you can hear in the distance is my hyena loud. That's all you can hear. Wait. A corporate gig? In Vegas. Yeah. It was nightmare. And, um, he was doing physical things. Yeah. You got to try it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Sorry. I apologize. Yeah. You're back to smoking cigarettes, too. I tell you, I've been through a lot of anxiety in the last couple of weeks. I know, but I thought you were quitting the cigarettes for a couple of weeks. I know, but I was in such high anxiety that I'm like, there's no other way to do it. I get it. You've got to get through whatever you need to do. I had to go through it. It was tough. That's fine. Yeah. Well, you're here on the other side. I went through a mental, yeah, go ahead. No drugs. I heard you're doing drugs again. I'm not doing drugs. Yeah. Yeah. We weed. When's the last time you had weed? Last year or January? Wow. Are you going to, when you go out tonight to the fair, are you drinking at the fair? I don't like to drink. Do your friends drink? No. Microdose? No. The new generation doesn't drink booze. Yeah. They kids don't do that. Yeah. They microdose, they take a gummy. Right? You take a gummy? No. Wow. Yeah. So how are you guys hiding your pain? Yeah. What are you doing to mask all the problems? Yeah. I don't know. You got to discover it. So in your group of friends, nobody, no one drinks booze, huh? There's some, but it's not like they need it for every time we hang out. Wow. So you don't really drug addict friends? No. You got to get one. Yeah. They're more exciting. Yeah, then you can start a podcast with one one day. Yo, dude. Yeah, yeah. Stop. What? Oh, really good. Yeah. It's my favorite thing in the world. Stop. What? I'm a child of addiction. We relate. Yeah. We have a four year period leading to 2026 Bloomberg tracking. The global alcohol industry has lost that much. They've lost 830 billion dollars. It's don't drink alcohol, dude. It's gone. And because of all these health influencers online out being like, what are you getting out of drinking anyway? And people are like, all right. So I'm not going to do it. People eating sardines and stuff all day long. Sardines and beans. Yeah. There's a shop on Melrose. Yeah, like me. Shop on Melrose cause sardines and beans. No, it's pretty impressive, dude. It's actually, but then they say stuff like look. Is there really a shop like call that? She's sardines and beans on Melrose. Is that a real place? And of course not. Oh, fuck. No. I was going to go now. No, I know. It's built for you. But I think like with our generation, like, you know, I like to have a couple of soda pops and I like it. But I do think, yeah, it's not great for you and people know it. But then the argument is, are you taking away from some social aspect? aspects of the world. - But also less sex, so less sex, less alcohol. - Well, less alcohol, good, less sex bad. 'Cause alcohol was sex. - So people are having less sex. - They are. - Oh yeah. - More phone, more screens, so less. - More screens, less sex. - I don't hear a lot of like going to clubs. - Oh clubs are much better. - What are you guys doing to like feel free? - Yeah. - So music is dead, art is dead, sex is dead. - Music is dead. - Drugs are gone and alcohol is not existent. What the fuck are you guys doing? - I'm doing. - You're on your phone in bed all day. - Yeah. - Yeah, we'll see, we're fucked. - You are too. - Huh? - You are too. - In bed? - Yes. - I'm not in bed. - You are, you love to fucking go through it. - My phone? - Yeah. - Tick-tock. - You love tick-talking. - On the toilet, I tick-talk. - Yeah, you talk to other places. - What am I talking? - You're talking everywhere. - Am I tickin' when I'm talking? - Yeah, you're tick-talking everywhere. - I love tick-talking on the toilet. I'll admit it's my favorite thing in the world. - What are you doing in bed as well? - No, can't do it in bed. - Do you lie? - We made a pact. We can't be on tick-talking in bed. - Oh, you and your wife. - Well, we said no phones in bed. - That's why you're in the couch, couch sleeping. That's why you're in the couch sleeping. - That's why I'm in the couch. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's growing than me. - But you do it? - No. - Oh, I do it. - You do it? - I do it. - Do I scroll so much on the road? - I put on tunes and I focus on the road. - That's great. God bless America. - Bless America. - Bless America. - I can't get off the talk when I'm on the toilet, though. I got a hemorrhoid from it. I got a hemorrhoid from being on the toilet too long. - Do you still have it? - Yeah, you want to see it? He's still there. - I've seen him. - He's still there. I told him he's got to go soon. I said, "You're overstaying your welcome, Mr. Hemorrhoid. You got to get out of here." But I asked the doctor and he said, "It's totally normal, you're spending too much time in the toilet." - See, I don't push out. I think that's the white people's problem. - I didn't push. No, no, no, no. You can get hemorrhoids. - Because I don't know any agents that have it. - Hemorrhoids? - Yeah, but I know a couple of whites that have it. - Yeah. - I think you guys push out too much. - I didn't push. It's from sitting too long, he said. You can get them from just sitting on the toilet too long. - Yeah, five minute rule. But it just pops out because you're sitting too long. - Yeah. - The blood and the gravity from the sacs and your toes, yeah, sitting on the toilet can worsen your hemorrhoids. Main risk include prolonged risk sitting in a toilet, desk, hard services. - How many hours are you in there? - Yeah, how many are you in there? - 12, maybe, max, 11 to 12. - That's a remarkable. I'll show her a TikTok and then I'll go back to it. I love when the animals watch you poop, it's my favorite thing in the world. - 'Cause they do it. - I watch her poop, she watches me, it's their balance. - I love that. I really like it. - I make her pick mine up though. - Yeah. - I go get up here and clean this up. - She just opens the door. - Yeah, you let them in. - Yeah. - No, you let them out, you don't look after them. You see who's pooping and who's not, see I have a little thing. - You don't do it. What are you used to doing? - I do. - I have a little note. I go. - I do. - Taking notes. - I take notes. - Yeah. - Okay. - Because I care. - What's your rule now? Are you finally cleaning up your poop after being called out for years of not cleaning up poop in the neighborhood? - No, she doesn't. - So you don't take the dogs for a walk ever? - They're in my backyard. No. That's happened in 10 years. - 'Cause that's the problem with the hills. You can't take a dog for the walk in the hills. You can't. - No, when you have a backyard, you just let them out. - That's not a walk. You have to take a dog for a fucking walk. - And that's through balls at them. - You got to take them for a walk. - I take them out sometimes. - You go up the trails. - I've never seen that happen one time. - Oh my God. - Not one time I haven't seen it. - You have nothing new to report. I'm so shocked. I haven't seen you in so long. You have nothing new to report. - I have to buy new mugs because he took away. - That's not true. I made let go. Let it go. - No. Let it go. - Don't do that. - Don't do that. Don't do that. - Let it go. - One day at a time. - He told me that you got to wash the mugs really well because I pee at night. - You have a bathroom in your room. - He doesn't eat in bed. - He pees in bed. - Yeah. Wait, you have a bathroom. - I'll just replace all the mugs and he said no. Just keep them. - Why would you pee in a mug? Just go to the bathroom. It's right there. - Sometimes the distance from more than sitting to the bathroom is too long. - Imagine when you go to sell this house. - Sometimes. - And they're like it's a poo room downstairs. There's a piss room upstairs. And the piss mugs come with the home just so you know. There is no pool. It's got coffee in it. I mean, who's gonna buy that? You said too much on the show about your home. - Keep cleaning. - Huh? - Deep cleaning. - You're gonna have to set it on fire. - Okay. - You have to burn the fucking thing to the ground. - No. - And I saw him and he tried to say no. I never peed on anything. - Oh yeah. - Why? - He denied it. - Why are you peeing in mugs? I need to know. These are the same mugs people drink out of it. - Yeah! - It's a territory. It's a territory thing. - You're marking your territory in your home. It's your house. - It's a territory thing. - Did you own the territory? - It doesn't matter. - People have to know. - Again, he's burning the boats. - What? - I'm in shock because I remember Jules talking about that. - I have no shame. - It's not about shame. It's hygiene. It's hygiene. It's insane. - And I will stay where I'm at with my being. - You know what? Maybe let her not move in. I think her not move in. - That's a good idea. - How do you feel about it? - I just hate it because I feel like every time I just use a mug, I feel like I can smell it. - But you can't. That's the thing. - Because I did do a cleap. - I'm telling you. - Exactly. - You do a deep cleap? - Oh my god. - He'll do a deep cleap on him. You can't. You won't be able to schnaur come if he's deep cleaped. - Dude, I can't speak to that. - It's so weird. It's so weird. I do a deep cleap. I need help. I go to the hospital. - Yes. - Yeah. - Call a tickle window. - No. I got it. - Honestly, I'm concerned. - I'm full of anxiety this is day one with. - I know. You're back. It's fine. It's like, you know. When did your mom come back? - 15. - Can she do some kind of like ritual stuff? - Yeah. - Can she do some kind of like ritual spell on him to get him back to where he needs to be? - No. - Shake some stuff at him. - But he always feels better when my mom was around. - She does have. Your mother has such an incredible energy. Your mom is still like such a. I love your mom. - I love laughter and I love joy. And I feel it with throughout the house, transcending through the walls. - When she's there. - In general, they passed memories. The past laughs. - These walls to talk? - Yeah, they can talk, right? - So I can hear the creaks and it tells me a story. - The creaks and cracks. - Yeah. - Cravishes and crubes. - Yeah, and the story involves a lot of trials and tribulations. - How many trials? - Three. - How many trips? - One. - I've only been through one tribulation. - But a lot of trials. - Three. - Yeah. - And all in that house. So everything tells a story. - Yeah. - Everything has to tell a story. - Yeah. That's cutting board. You think about that cutting board a lot? - The cutting board tells a story. - What does it say? - Ginger. - Garlic. - That's how you're talking about me. - Basil. - Hmm. - It all tells a story. But anyway, it's really good to be here. And I'm glad we were able to recap on many issues. - We gotta get you to the hospital. - Yeah. - I think we need to take you to the hospital. - No. I feel great. - Take over your glasses. Hey, look, fine. Do you want to see my new license? - Do I? - This is my best photo yet. This is my best work. - You just go retake your license photo? - Yeah. - Can you just send it in? - No, you don't have to. - No, I have to go in and take the photo. Because I want to do the best face. - Could you like being recognized at the DMV? - No. - Why don't you have in there four? - What do you have in mind? - Oh, it looks nice. Actually, it's a nice license. Oh, that's funny. You're doing like a cross eye. You look like me. - Yeah. - By the way, I gotta show you. I should have sent the picture. The Chicago Cubs sent me a jersey. Because I never went to Philly to the All-Star game. Because, you know, I remember the flights got canceled. And they sent me my jersey. And it says Bobby Mom on the back. - That's amazing. - It's incredible. - Do I have my license back? - No. Class. None. No, see. Class, see. - Thank you. - Sex. - None. - Hopefully. - A lot recently. Eyes brown. Hair's black. Eyes low. Eyes low. - Five, four, one, 60. - Exactly. - You're five, three. - Why do you like it? - Give me my fucking license back. - Why would you give me my license back? - You lied again. - I don't like it when you're holding it like an ice agent. - I'm holding it. Look at that. Look at that hole. - Where are you coming from? - Know it. - Okay. Getting the van. (laughing) Wrong answer. Get my license back. - That's right there. - Fuck you. - Serene. - Dion. - I've never seen you so much. - Serene Dion. (laughing) - The Asian Selene Dion. - Yeah, yeah. - Ladies and gentlemen, Serene Dion. - I don't know any songs from her, but I'll try. ♪ I will always find you ♪ (laughing) - You don't know any Selene Dion songs? - The Titanic. - The Titanic. - Yeah, I don't forget how it goes. - My heart will go on. - Give me the tune and I'll sing it after. ♪ My heart will go on ♪ ♪ Year for wherever you are ♪ Yeah, she sings her name in it. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why she does that. Maybe to make people know it's her song. Yeah. One more. I didn't sleep good last night. I had maybe two or three hours of sleep and that's what's coming. I slept so good. I know. We do have polar opposites at night sometimes. Isn't that funny though? Some nights when I sleep bad, you slept for 40 hours. Sometimes I get night scarries and then you don't. You know what I do in the middle of the night? Now I have, I put my hands behind my back like an old Asian guy and I shuffled to the bathroom. I like the way it feels. Like just climbed the side of my house. You climb the side of it? Yeah, yeah. I have little rock dentures in there. You climb the roof? Yeah, yeah. You just sit up there and think? Yeah, like white people. He has a ladder. Yeah. Just get up on the roof. I park over everything. You park over on your house. Yeah. That's white people. That's where the best at that. You're the best at any of those extreme things and I have to admit that right now. I love it. Like the wingsuit guys. You guys are great at that. It's probably one of our best things. Hatter balloons. Yeah. I don't do anymore as movie nights just you and I. Why don't you do that? Wow. He's busy with his girlfriend. No, she doesn't like hate spending time with me. I do. But I showed my girlfriend a movie that she had never seen before. And then, you know, it holds up, I think. Braveheart. Braveheart. Yeah. I've never seen it. I tell you what it's about. Willie Wallace. Willie Wallace. His name, the actor's Willie Wallace. Yeah, Willie Wallace. Who's he? He's playing Mel Gibson. Yeah. Willie Wallace. This guy. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Yeah. Don't you love it when he does that? Love it. Yeah. And such a good movie. It really is a good movie. It's so good. Yeah. Although I grew up. Scotland. For Scotland. Yeah, dude. For Spain. For Spain. For Spain. I wonder if Scottish people like that. Do they like that movie? Well, they're not. He's the number one guy. Historical figure. He's Australian though, right? The actor is, yeah. Isn't that weird? It's crazy. Do you ever think about that? He doesn't seem like he's Australian. That. Jules. What about your behavior with eggs? Your egg behavior. Your egg. God. Or we're talking to a child. Your behavior with eggs. Yeah, yeah. Eggs. Yes. Your egg behavior. What's egg behavior? You know. I'll tell you why. I have to get new eggs because of the expiration date. All right. So it's like you. Yeah, but you don't eat eggs past the expiration date. Do you? They eat eggs with birds in them. I know. At least people eat bird eggs with a with a just recently dead bird. They're going to eat expires. Not so. In my house, right? We abide by expiration dates. But they're still good. That doesn't matter. This is August. Diaria. What? I eat the expired eggs. Yeah. In fact, when you get home tonight, you're making me four baked potato. I'm not picking it. Bake. You're going to boil eggs. Bake potato. You got to go to the hospital, man. That's so far away from boiled eggs. Bake potato. It's on with me. It just starts with it being unbelievable. If stored below 40 degrees, you can have eggs for so long, the expiration date's bullshit. I read the expiration date. I don't go fuck what you guys say. I'm not going to get some of them. What does it say? Three to five weeks past that date. They're still good. A month past the expiration date. So that's what you do. Yes, dude. Okay. Yes, it's bullshit. I want four eggs at home. Boyled free. Okay. When there's mold on the bread, I just cut the mold off and still eat. That's insane. No. If a banana is bruised at all, I can't eat it. Yeah, you're. What? Yeah, yeah. It's been beat up. I can't do it. Let's see. Well, my stomach. Call my stomach a pussy. Pussy. Yeah. Pussy. Pussy. We have to. You got to let bananas go bad for banana bread. Yeah, I don't make that. Do you like banana bread? Dude, you know what? I think I like banana bread more than most people on earth. I'll have to say that. Most people. Yeah. Dude, every time I'm in Hawaii or in Maui or whatever, right? And I walk and I do the road to Hana and there's that one lady that's a little too inconveniently to my right to pull over, but I pull over anyway. To get her banana bread. Exactly. My wife makes banana bread. I'm gonna bring you someone's fucking funnel out. It can't be good. Bring her everywhere. Oh, it can't be good? I just said that guy. Why? Because she's white. They don't know how to make it. Banana bread was definitely our thing. No, it's not. Banana bread is definitely an island or thing. No, it's fucking hot. It's too intricate and full of flavor and moistness and buttery. Who started banana bread? It's gotta be the fucking whites. It can't be. It better be. I'll tell you that. I'm changing Wikipedia if it's not. Banana bread was what? Not invented by a single person. Immersed North America in the late 19th and early 20th centuries as a resourceful kitchen creation. North America. Not the island. You invented it. Early mention of banana bread. Congratulations. Early mention of banana bread appeared in Lawrence, Kansas, newspaper, Kansas. It couldn't be wider. There is no black people in Kansas. I just trust it more when it comes to Ireland because there are more associated with the banana. No, they're not. They're associated with selling the banana to the white. The banana, right, is an island treat. Banana. Banana is. It's a white person. Yeah. And pineapple. Here's the thing. Because this is where the bananas come from in the islands, they get rid of the ones that bruise like you do. But the whites took it on and we said, we'll take the bruises and we'll make something out of it. Okay. When life gives you bruised bananas, you make. Stick with strawberry shortcakes. Don't tell me how to paste. Yeah, yeah. Stick with strawberry shortcakes and we'll take the banana. Dare tell me how to paste your pal. Okay. That's your world. Asian pastry? No, thank you. Asian pastry. Three is the best in the market. No, it's not. You're absurd. Yeah. Right, that's your thing. Oh, that's your thing. No. Yeah. French and the whites to pastries the best. Not now though. We took over the game. No, you fucking didn't. Don't a career town, dude. We took over the game, dude. No, I don't want a kimchi fucking donut. Do you have ever had a kimchi scone? Sounds good. Yeah. I don't know who I, right, at, um, what's it called? You got to come up there. Mo calalo. If you go to Mo calalo, is that a kimchi scone? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Kimchi scones are so good. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Leave it to the French. No. Because what Asians do is like, we'll go to John in it. I don't want to go to John in a fucking muffin. That's insane. Okay. That's why you're having grown. You're tasty. You piss and mugs in your house. I haven't grown. You pee inside of coffee mugs in your home. Yeah. And you need to open up your fucking table here and open it up. I'm closing the table, pal. No one is invited to the table now. It's over. What does it say? When an adult urinates and mugs bottles are unconventional containers of points you have break down in typical behavior, psychological and neurological functioning. I'm in trouble. I'm in trouble. They may be in a podcast. Dementia. Dementia. Delirium. It's even worse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love delirium. Delirium. Yeah, yeah. I've been in delirium states before. I've been delirium. Alright. We'll close it out. Choules. Look at the camera. Thank you for being a bad friend. Woo. Woo.