Incel Goes Boom, Nude Golf Cart Ride, the Tinder Tantrum

(upbeat music) Hey, I'm Tara Sarabhan, and you're listening to World's Dumbest Criminals, an upbeat podcast about deadbeat crims. If you're keen to hear about the most ridiculous, bizarre and downright stupid criminals and crime stories in the world ever, you've come to the right place. In today's episode, I'll be talking about an in-sale who blew his hand off while making a bomb to kill hot cheerleaders. And they did police stand off with armed suspects in Florida that was interrupted by a nude woman driving a golf cart, and a British woman whose ex-boyfriend broken to her house to throw a messy food-filled tantrum. The past couple of weeks have been a depressing shit show on a global scale. So let's try and get some humor back into the mix. Alrighty, let's get cracking. On June 3, 2020, Cole Carini showed up at a hospital in Richlands, Virginia. One of his hands had been below and off. He was missing a few fingers on his other hand, and he had shrapnel wounds to his neck and throat. After being interviewed by police at the hospital, Cole claimed that his injuries were caused by a lawnmower accident in his yard. The police weren't buying that at all. It just didn't fit with his injuries. You know, unless he'd stuck both his hands in the moving blades, lifted the mower up to neck height and somehow made the engine explode. Cole kept insisting that the lawnmower had flipped over while he was mowing the grass, but there was no way that could have caused so much damage to his hands and neck. His injuries were clearly the result of explosives, but Cole swore up and down that he had no explosives at his house at all. When law enforcement went to search Cole's residence, they noticed that the lawn was overgrown and they found no signs to indicate that a lawnmower had recently been used. They did, however, spot a trail of blood coming from inside the house and out into the street through the driveway. They followed it to Cole's bedroom where they saw evidence of an explosion with explosive materials, rusty nails and pipes scattered everywhere and pieces of his flesh stuck to the walls. Blah! They also discovered drawings of improvised explosive devices, shit tons of triacetone trooper oxide, which is an explosive substance used to make bombs, exploded and unexploded components of pipe bomb devices, fusing and a partially constructed pressure cooker explosive device. Investigators found other bomb-making materials in a shed on the property, along with a crumpled notebook page on the floor. Cole had written on the paper and given us a window into his sick fantasy of blowing up a stage full of hot cheerleaders at a mall. He casually walked through the shopping mall, his jacket concealed deadly objects. He was doing it and he was assured that it must be done. Even if he died, this statement was worth it. He had a sense of tension that would come and go as he approached the stage of hot cheerleaders. A dead seriousness sank in as he realized he was truly passing the point of no return. He decided, "I will not back down. I will not be afraid of the consequences no matter what. I will be heroic. I will make a statement like Elliot Rogers did." Hi. There's a lot to unpack there. Firstly, he got his misogynistic sick fuck idols name wrong. It's Elliot Rogers, not Elliot Rogers. Don't details matter in the misogynistic sick fuck community? And poor little Rich Boy Elliot is the worst role model ever. Anybody who idolizes him needs to seek therapy immediately. He was a 22-year-old mass shooter who killed six people and injured 14 others during a rampage in Santa Barbara in 2014. He became a pin-up boy for in-sales due to his 140-page manifesto and his hateful video rants where he said things such as, "Blonde sorority sluts must die. And I don't know why you girls aren't attracted to me, but I'll punish you all for it." Well, is it any wonder why they're not attracted to you with an attitude like that? Before his tantrum of bloodshed, he sent his 140-page manifesto to media outlets. It's a hell of a lot of words to basically just say, "I can't get laid." In it, he did in fact say that he couldn't get laid. And you know, a lot of wrong-headed shit like "Hart-beautiful blonde girls are spoiled, "hardless wicked bitches." He didn't really need to mention that he was a virgin 'cause it kind of just leaps off the page at you without explicitly stating it. But I'm guessing subtlety wasn't his strong suit. I really have no idea why these in-saleshit heads think it's so edgy or daring to hate women. That's been mainstream for fucking ever, but society tends to show it with things like lesser pay and victim blaming, rather than just saying it outright. It's actually far more edgy and daring to actively support equality, but hey, nobody ever accused these guys of being smart. Cole was initially charged with making full statements to law enforcement, a charge of possessing and manufacturing and unregistered explosive device was added later. He pleaded guilty to that charge and was sentenced to seven years in federal prison. Acting United States Attorney Daniel P. Boobah commented on the sentence, saying, "When he stopped part by making materials "and actually manufactured an improvised explosive device "designed to cause significant harm, "that offended put the safety of the community at risk "and committed a serious federal crime." Today's sentence ought to send a clear message that such behavior will not be tolerated. Well, I fucking hope so. I did some cyber stalking on Cole and found his Facebook account. It has post from 2010 to 2011 on it, so he would have been about 12 or 13. He has 389 friends, which really isn't bad, and a lot of them are girls. He posted a few pictures of his gold fish with the caption, "This is my fish. "It's name is Gish." Another post said, "The only subject I'm good at is fartiology," which is, you know, classic little voice stuff. My favorite post was, "I went to Subway and ate two foot longs "and one six inch and drank two coaks for dinner." It really makes you wonder what happened to this kid to make him so fucked up and full of hate. I was reading some Reddit threads about this case too, and one comment really struck me. It said, "Every in-sell has the power "to break out of their own doing of in-seldum. "The fact that in-sells can't see "that they cause their own issue is frustrating as fuck." Yep, it certainly is. And to be an in-sale that blows off his hand and fingers trying to kill hot cheerleaders, so he can't even jerk off anymore, seems like a really big comic joke. (chattering) On the evening of September 5th, 2021, the police were called to a suburb in Dunneed in Florida, as residents had reported a group of teenagers who were acting suspiciously. The teens quickly scampered away as soon as the cops rocked up. One of them, 18-year-old males, Abbott, decided it was a great idea to fire at civilians as he tried to elude the authorities and a good boy or girl from the K9 unit. Fortunately, in true, dumb criminals' fashion, Abbott didn't actually shoot anyone except himself. After wounding himself in the right thigh, he managed to climb onto the roof of someone's house. From this vantage point, he proceeded to aim his gun at the deputies on the ground below, starting a six-hour standoff with authorities. A SWAT team arrived and surrounded the house with armored vehicles and air support. Deputy set up a perimeter around the property and evacuated civilians from the area. The scene for the tense standoff was now set. Hours later, at around midnight, 28-year-old Jessica Smith appeared seemingly out of nowhere, driving a golf cart down the street but naked. She drove the golf cart fast several marked police units, ignoring their commands for her to stop and headed straight for the target house where the armed subject was on the roof. This led authorities to believe that she may have been involved in the case. Deputies put themselves in jeopardy to stop Jessica's joy ride. She refused to exit the golf cart and was then assisted out of the vehicle hand-cuffed and removed from the scene. According to an arrest after David, Jessica's actions and inability to follow directions put multiple deputies at risk for potentially getting shot at. She had a distinct odor of alcohol coming from her person, and she was completely nude. Jessica was charged with one misdemeanor count of resisting an officer without violence. Although deputies tried to talk Abbot down from the roof, he refused to go operate. After nearly six hours, specialized equipment and beam backgrounds were used to force him down, and he was taken to hospital for his self-inflicted gunshot wound. According to the smoking gun, Jessica lives in Boston and was visiting her parents who own a house about a mile from where she was arrested. The authorities later confirmed that Jessica had no connection whatsoever with the gun-wielding teenager. She had just randomly been drunkenly riding a golf cart around the suburbs at midnight naked and accidentally headed into the active crime scene. In January 2021, Alicia Moe matched with 21-year-old Jordan Cobbled on Tinder. 20-year-old Alicia had just moved out of the family home and into her own flat in Ibswich Suffolk. After they'd been chatting for a while, Alicia invited Jordan to come hang out at her new pad. Alicia kept a spare key to her flat on the kitchen bench. After she and Jordan had been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, he suggested that he take the key, saying that it would be nice if he let himself in while she was at work, so he'd be there when she got home. Alicia told the media, "I didn't really get the chance to say no, so then he had a key to my flat. It was really playing on my mind, and I remember calling my mum because I was worried about it." Soon afterwards, things turned weird. Alicia said, "We'd be watching a film and he'd just burst into tears for no reason. I'd ask him what the problem was, but he'd just ignore me." Now, I wish he'd let us know what films they were watching when that happened. If I was shined as least I'd get it because it's an incredibly sad story, but if he's crying during stepbrothers and refusing to talk about it, then we may have a bigger problem. After seeing each other for three weeks, Alicia said, "He started saying stuff like, 'This is the stage of the relationship where everything starts going wrong.' We'd only been seeing each other a matter of weeks. It was so confusing. I couldn't understand why he was being so intense and needy." "Yeah, that's a bit of a red flag. It sounds like he might have been wanting a mummy or a wet nurse rather than a girlfriend. You know, someone to breastfeed him, swaddulum and rock him to sleep while gently singing him nursery rhymes." When Alicia broke off the relationship with Jordan, he blocked her on all platforms and she thought that that would be the end of it. She was probably too young and naive to know that man-baby's always bit the dummy when they don't get things their way, and he still had a key to her flat. Alicia went to work the next day as usual. When she got home, she was shocked to find that Jordan had indeed spat the dummy, epically and all over the place. While she was at work, Jordan had let himself into Alicia's flat, and no, it wasn't nice. He'd taken her shoes out of the closet and poured canned baked beans and spaghetti in them, as well as hurling condiments all over the walls and on overacuum cleaner, destroying her makeup, putting shower gel in her drawers and a shoe in the toilet. Jordan had also cut the cords on her brand new kettle, microwave and coffee maker. Alicia said that she'd literally only had them for a day, and she hadn't even used the microwave. The fridge had been turned off and he'd put cooking oil all over the place. Who the fuck does that? Even angry toddlers would think, "Dude, went too far." Jordan doesn't need a girlfriend. He needs a referral for a pediatrician. When the police asked Alicia if she had any idea who would do something like this to her, Jordan was the only person she could think of. They arrested him soon afterwards. Apart from the emotional damage and trust issues Jordan's tantrum had caused her, Alicia also had to pay for a professional carpet cleaner and repaint the front room, living room and bathroom. Jordan pleaded guilty to charges of criminal damage and robbery, as he'd taken a necklace that he'd given to Alicia for her birthday as well, which was super daft. The only thing his soul was something he'd given her? Well no wonder he pleaded guilty. There's literally no one else on earth who would have committed this crime. In court, Stephen Diable, mitigating, said that Jordan had not reoffended or made contact with Alicia since the whirlwind of destruction he'd caused at her place and urged the judge to consider his offending as a one-off. In sentencing Jordan, recorder Jeremy Benson QC told him, "You went to her address and, if I may use the vernacular, trash the place. It was nasty, it was vindictive, it caused great hurt and anxiety to the complainant." "But it seems to me that as a result of the plea of guilty and the fact that you are a young man with no previous convictions, there is hope of rehabilitation." Jordan was handed a two-year community order with 30 rehabilitation requirement days and 180 hours of unpaid work. He was ordered to pay Alicia over £2,000 in compensation to cover the cost of the cleanup and her court costs, and he was given a five-year restraining order. After the verdict, Alicia said it had taken her months to feel safe again. She's since deleted Tinder and met someone new. Hopefully he's a decent guy who takes responsibility for his own emotions and actions and doesn't get messy and vengeful every time things don't go his way. To finish up, they have a few punchline crimes for you. These are cases with hardly any information available, and they sound more like jokes than something that actually happened. In December 2012, three men broke into a designer clothes store in Rome, Italy. They were all well-known to the police of being career criminals with decades worth of criminal records for burglarising shops. At 4am, the men, equipped with a blue torch, crowbar and skeleton keys, broke into the store through a back window. Then they loaded up about £80,000 worth of designer clothes into large sacks. A neighbour who had heard them break into the shop called the police, who soon surrounded the store. When they went inside, they found the sacks of clothing, but not the robbers. You had seen this as an invitation to play a very high-stakes game of hide and seek. They found 55-year-old Luciano Likori hiding in the store and continued to search for the others. 78-year-old Tomaso Bondari and 70-year-old Vittorio Laundani had donned jackets and ties, and were standing frozen in a display of store dummies trying to pass themselves off as mannequins. Eventually, the veteran thieves trembling gave them away and they were arrested. I'd like to see a remake of the 80s movie mannequin starring those guys. P.C. Hutton of the Wiltshire Police was part of a team of officers trying to chase down a dark blue MG on the M4 motorway. The police believed the car was stolen and used stinger devices to pop its tires and bring it to a stop. Four young people got out of the car and ran off. P.C. Hutton ran after one of the passengers and was unable to catch up to him, but he had a cool party trick up his sleeve. Hutton shouted out that he was a police dog handler and to stay still, and then he barked like a dog a couple of times. He must have had a pretty convincing bark because the guy stopped, turned around, and looked confused because he couldn't actually see any dog. Hutton thought I've got to get to him quickly before he realises and then chased the bewildered man down. The man was arrested on suspicion of aggravated taking of a vehicle without consent. This was not the first time P.C. Hutton had successfully used this trick, and I'm pretty sure that it won't be the last. Wolf indeed. After drinking his weight in alcohol, 25-year-old Tang Li broke into a fifth floor flat in the Chinese city of Sikuon. He was under the impression that the flat was unoccupied and got a shock. when the owners 10-year-old daughter woke up and asked him what he was doing there. To keep her quiet, he told her that he was Superman, and he'd soon be flying back off to his secret headquarters. The gluey little girl called his bluff and told him, "If you're Superman, show me you can fly or I'll scream." Being drunk as a skunk, Tang Voddy had no choice but to strip down to his yellow underpants to look more like a superhero. Under the watchful eye of the girl he went to the window. He said, "I saw another roof below, and I thought I could make it, but it turned out to be a lot further down than I thought." The girl watched him jump out the window and pull him to the roof below. She told her parents who called the police. The cops rocked up to find Tang prostrate on the roof in just his yellow underpants, covered in cuts and bruises. He now faces seven years behind bars on burglary charges. This brings me to the end of the episode. Thanks so much for listening. Make sure you subscribe if you want to stay up to date with all future episodes. If you enjoyed what you heard, please leave a review. If you'd like to support the show, head on over to patreon.com/worlddummerscriminals. Other levels get access to monthly bonus episodes and add free episodes. And higher levels also receive a variety of merchandise. Thanks so much to Rob Ford and Anne for coming on Borders patrons recently. And to Terry Stafford, aka notorious Ro-Restler Malachi for upping his bledge. If you want more dumb criminals in your life, you could join our world's dumbest criminals podcast Facebook group or follow us on Twitter @wdcriminalspod and Instagram @worlddummerscriminalspodcast. Stay tuned after the closing music to hear a promo for the always entertaining our true crime podcast. Till next time, look after yourself, stay out of trouble and whatever you do. Rob Kamirah Crime that makes you end up on this podcast. Last year there were nearly 22,000 murders in the US. Not surprisingly, more than 200 true crime podcasts launch every year in the US alone. There's no shortage of crimes and no shortage of crime podcasts to cover them, but none of those shows have the heart of our true crime podcast. Thank goodness. Well, they didn't even have seat belt laws back then. They never were sick of it. Yes, fine. He could not remember exactly what happened and thought that he had blacked out. That was about it. That's all he could tell officers. He was drawing things saying the thoughts won't stop. I want to see how this plays out. It's heartbreaking. Isn't it time you made our true crime podcast, your true crime podcast? 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