In training

What's up, beautiful people, it's the church or what's happening now? New Testament, July the 7th, 2026, what up, Mook? What's up, buddy? You came back with both hands. That's good. You ain't good with fireworks. You said there are missiles. You know what I'm saying? I'm gonna take a lot of missiles, but a firecracker, they can't do it. Did I tell you about me letting fireworks in Tampa the last time I was there? Yeah. And the fucking cops came. Yeah. Oh, I have what only happened to you. Of course. It's the only dude. I don't do. Did you do fireworks as a kid here? Yeah. They were like illegal, illegal Massachusetts, like they legal everywhere, but who gives a fuck? So does the cop make the torn? Baaah. I told you motherfuckers not to play the fight. Wasn't else. I'm black kid from Jersey City. I kind of miss, and I'm not a huge fireworks guy, but in L.A., if you like fireworks, it's fun because like the Mexican people, it's like. They have like a city fireworks, but I would just go to my roof in L.A., and like the entire valley would be fireworks. They had a whole thing that you could see it from like the satellites in space because they treat to the 4th of July. It goes on for like a couple of weeks. Do you remember that? Well, even in my name, but they like firecrackers now. Do they still remember the 20th? Do you? By you? Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Go on. You got all these fireworks. I know a guy who bought 10,000 dollars with the fireworks, but you're not gonna like those all one night, you know, that's going to take two, three weeks. 10,000 dollars. 10,000. I had a party by my. I didn't go. I'm not going to actually. I listen. Fireworks are like parades. You see one. You see them all. I agree. I'm going to start arm wrestling motherfuckers to go to all bulk and I don't want to see that shit that bad. I had a perfect 4th of July. I went down to shore. I got home at 8.30. Okay. I got a bowl of cherries and I sat on my balcony and watched that fucking reign it from the minute it hit. And next you know, I saw all the people's lights go off one by one and the generator kicked them and I'm like, I'm good. And fucking internet was out all day Sunday. Talk. I walked around with $10 for two days. I couldn't even get money out of the back. ATM machine by my house and the other one up on no bridge. Do you still not have a credit card when I was in that when we were in LA, you walk around and you don't have a debit card and you'd go out and get like cash, but I don't remember you having an actual credit card credit card for big things for my wife said, put it on there because we got points at the end of the month. Right. Then I have an ATM card. But you still carry cash? Fuck yeah. Why? Why not? I don't want to be that because people go around. I don't know cash. I can't pay and then you got to pick up their lunch. People run a scam with the fucking ATM scam. Yeah. So listen, I like giving cash to people. I like being able to fucking tip, but whatever the fuck you need. So even if you have a hundred bucks in your pocket, it's better not having nothing. I carry a little bit. Let me tell you some of you over in a bench here that ATM card that American Express Black angle to dick because I can't pay a brunt, you know what I'm saying? So you always got to have some cash somewhere, a 20, a $50 bill, something in case a party happens. I have a little bit now because it's stand up, but it'll be in my wallet for months because this place is in New York where they don't accept cash. No, there's places anywhere that they're cashless and papalists. That's when you shoplift. That's when you're at the hotel at Thompson. If you want to juice, they'll just give it to you. What do you do? Have you ever been to a restaurant where they want you to scan the QR code and pay on an app? It wasn't an airport once and then I hop. You had to scan and pay and I always think about you and my people who are of that age. I can't imagine what you do if someone's like, "Hey, you got to scan this and pay on your phone." I don't know what you do. I just learn how to scan the QR code. You did? Maybe a year ago. But if you got a QR code, I don't really want to do business with you. I want to see a paper, fucking menu, okay? Yeah. I want to see a paper, fucking menu. I can't. I don't know how to sell. I have PayPal. That's as good as it gets. But I don't have PayPal. Then you ain't getting paid. You know? I don't have Venmo. I don't have one of those things. No? I go with one. I stick with one. I still got hot mail. I think you might be one of the few. What does that tell you? I still got hot mail and it works when all you Gmail motherfuckers get hacked and your wife puts these out there, my hot mail is tougher than debt. You understand me? Because no one's on hot mail. Have you ever changed your password or is it like the same from the beginning? Because I don't even know what it is. I think now I'm signing through Google and I got to call my wife, honey. What's the Google? It's got to come down and fucking type it in for me. I don't know. Oh my God. That's so funny. Nothing. Get all these fucking things and all those codes are out there and all your information is out there. The more things you get, the more your information is out there and you pop up more, yeah? So that's why sometimes you got to have a little bit of cash. Sometimes you have an ATM, sometimes you have a credit card. But if you have 22 credit cards, they're going to steal your shit eventually. Oh yeah. That's why I know one of those two credit cards goes. That's it. That's all that's in the wallet. There's an ATM and a fucking credit card for expenditures. I love to get that American Express fucking, you know, like the United cards or shit. Yeah, I have the dose. I'm like a month. No, it's 700 a year, but they give you, they give you a dick. No, that should I forget about the Delta one's good. Oh, that should I, I brought out three free trips I forget about it. Yeah, every time I buy a new trip, oh, you got three free trips, I don't just leave me to follow. Delta gives you two free bags. I'm sure it's a dick for your bat. If the bat breaks, where's that paperwork at? Where's the insurance? You know what? They just get you with shit. No. Is all that a scam? Like they have that. Oh my car. Yeah. Ice cube and the other black chick. Oh, if you have a 19, that's so funny. That's so funny. Everyone I'm trying to watch fucking SVU and the other thing in transmission problems. You need this. Listen, the car's older than five. You're on your own. Everybody knows this. In a year, I'll be on my own with that Lexus, you're on your own. Yeah, you can buy, but they're always going to find a way to fuck you. Yeah. They always, just when you're the happiest you could be, they always find something like this doesn't qualify or, you know, we can only pay 30% of the $22,000 bill, there's always something. You're always getting fucked. My friend said she had pet insurance. You know, she goes, yeah, you pick it up and it takes the year to get a check on them. Really? By the time you get the check, the dog is done. So all this shit is great on paper and white people love it. I got to ensure that you're just paying garbage. It's like all you motherfuckers ever go right to car and they try to say that insurance and they make it like it's going to be awful. If you get into an accident, you know, you make sure it covers it at home, but you're giving them $8.99 a day because you feel bad. It's 40 a day now. I think a fucking day. Yeah. A fucking day. So how much more can I tack on to that? That windshield fluid, you know, they get you from the redirection. The American consumer is getting fucked in the ways. The last, I don't know. Like I've never seen them get fucked. No, there's World Cup soccer. Now they're on there every night. We don't know what happened with the train. People are not taking well because you charged $115 fucking dollars for the fucking train. So not only do I have to come here from Europe, or Uruguay, or whatever fucking soccer country I'm from. And then I got to pay 10 for waters in there, at least you're getting fucked as a consumer. You don't even feel like it's worth it, you know, when I book tick comedy shows, I don't even talk either stop asking how much is the service fee? What is the service fee for? I don't get a dime on that service fee. What exactly do you do to get $18 out of me for a service fee? Yeah, it's, and you look at this shit and you go, what am I going to do? But this is constant. There's on every daily basis. So you as an American have to get informed of what's bullshit and what's not bullshit. It's tough to, you're trying to raise a family, trying to play the mortgage and I got to worry about who's fucking me at the pet store, you know, who's fucking me out here, who's fucking you there? Because right, you go to a restaurant now, oh, you want to pay with a credit card. I'm going to charge 8% more, yeah, you know, you don't stop anymore, guys. So now is the time as an American, you have to decide how much more am I going to get fucked in the ass. I don't know if you can avoid it to be honest. But no, you could avoid a lot of things, you know, part of the shit you do for your kids, Disneyland. That's a fuck fast. You might as well spread your cheeks and let Mickey Mouse rape you because that's exactly what the fuck they're doing to you as an American. We don't feel it. It's all on the cards. But when you get home and look at that shit and go, I paid what for what? There's people who go to the Disney and Tokyo because it's less money to fly to Tokyo and go to that Disney world, the one in Florida. It's, yeah, at least, at least you think you can avoid it? Like I think it to avoid it. You just have to do nothing. You ever go to a doctor's office and make you do it? To follow up they get you for the co-pay and you go in and it takes three minutes. Mm-hmm. Why am I paying a co-pay? But they'll co-pay you to that, you know, it's it's a it's a shame What they do and these people are hard work in Americans They don't have $29.99 to fuck them rent the car on insurance, you know, it's fucking rough out there You know, I'm gonna tell you something Because I don't know if I'm the only one who saw this I'm sure George saw this last week. There was a predicted 12 million people in a trap You don't leave rarely listen Both those airports Thursday Empty You might mean I got to fucking Austin two hours before cuz a wheelchair, okay? I just walked. I was at the fucking taco place I was at gate 25 and I still had an hour and a half to wait. There was nobody there And they fucked up my knee pad and took it off. It wasn't for that. I would have walked right through and Newark flying out. There was nobody there on Monday. I thought Thursday coming back There was nobody there That's crazy. Oh see they lied to us It's consistently Oh no, I'm fired this week They have lines are gonna be busy and I say said they're gonna see the most people they've ever seen I didn't say And those are busy airports. It's not like you are fucking nowhere to nowhere Austin when you laying in Austin on a Monday You're like What the fuck is going on in this week? Why all these people at the airport Monday at three o'clock is that bad? Why are there two bands playing? Why are there people at the airport bars like this supported July? People are landing there on Monday It's like a destination there. Mm-hmm, but flying out there. There was nobody flying out on the fourth on the first second I came back on the second you figure all hell was gonna break loose That's when the genius is fly a day before the fourth of July. There was nobody at the airport general ladies So I bought bumper was bump traffic was bumper the bumper I Went up north Friday was a big mistake. It took me an hour 40 to get back and clipped it Oh, and that was a 10 in the morning How people were driving like a motherfucker It's everything's to expand I think people are just deciding they're not doing shit anymore. I Don't blame them with it like you see how much airline like Flight prices are now imagine if you had to bring it like I'll just drive to the door things are so rough now that whatever you purchase From they give me an option to finance. Yeah, never make a finance vitamins I just want two shirts online make three easy payments When do I get what is laid away online? Yeah, there's whole there's whole company It's cool. I don't want to shit talking even but there's whole company. That's all they do is like there's two that I can think of that You can you can do it like with grub hub now like if you're ordering dinner. You can do your payments for dinner. It's yeah That is fucking Insane you guys are enlightening me now, and then if you miss if you miss your payment your fucking dinner is a 20 30 percent So all right, so I he did on a Monday. I'm tapped. Yeah, I got no money till Thursday How do I do this man? You're paying on grub? You know you can't call them on the app It just so it gives you like pay with your pay with credit card debit card or Yeah, there's clarner in a former the two on the cloud click clarner. It's just it's it's basically a loan shark It's just they'll give you they'll pay for it, and then you got to pay him. I don't know. I've never done it knock on wood So I don't know if they give you some interest at the beginning But it's like it's like a credit card payment. They just you pay in a certain amount if you don't pay your fucked That yeah, it's fucking is sadly I learned something or every day It's another way to fuck you. I Wouldn't deliver the food. Oh, there's people get caught doing that. I delivered somewhere else and saw that I'd bang him on on two Be sure to be stroking. I know I didn't it's my 99 to it Usually goes to 24 dude. It's but I'm running a special. Do you have three of them? No, just one Do you know you can sell food on L on Facebook now? There's people who have like restaurants in their house and You go to their house and they bring you out like dude, it's I'm really fat and I'll buy most things But like I'm not gonna go to someone's house and get like shrimp from them. They do like the seafood boils There's a guy in New York right now who makes pizza out of his trunk It's called like the pizza pod He has like a little pizza in the back of his car And apparently people going crazy for it apparently it's good. I don't know But you can do it there. It's again. I want the old-the-towning guy with the oven You might have a mole on this face. Yeah, he definitely That's the guy. I don't need no pizza car in a pizza. I mean I don't have this shit. It's just novelty. Yeah, like oh my god. I just ordered from place the guy makes pizzas in a trunk Okay, I'm really fucking happy for you speaking of food. Did you I'm sure you didn't did you watch the hot dog? Contest at all. No, that's one of the stupidest and I watched both I watched the man in the woman you think I'd drink it There's no fat people now Joey Chastano is banned. No, he's still he's back He's but he was back this year. He didn't he ate a shit ton of hot dogs They showed the water that they dunk the buns into fucking brown, but it was I was dying laughing because the guy who Announces it thinks he's Bruce buffer and is doing these intros for people who look like they're like like some of them I don't know it's fine, but there were a couple people who look like they were like homeless people and They were doing he was doing these very elaborate introductions and they're just shoving like that this one guy had records for them Like eight pounds of fudge in ten minutes. It's just like it's they're treating it like it's a real like they did like the post You know like in basketball where like what were you focusing on today? How did they did that with like them eating hot dogs and I was sitting there I had never watched it before. I never understood why they dipped the bottle of water because it like slides down your throat They didn't too at a time I can eat two of the time For it because he gave me one of those red devil edibles I'll go up against Joey Chastano At two in the morning. I'll fucking out eat him. I was that how come there aren't there's one fat black dude Badlands chuggs who chugged like he said a world record for the fastest chugging of a gallon of lemonade But he's the only fat guy everyone else is skinny and in shape and the women did it and that's This is just an honest question Why like I understand why like men can be better than women at some sports But like why are men better than women at eating hot dog like I just don't understand what is the difference between men Like they eat like double what the woman ate It was but there was one with the woman who won was pretty good. She's one like 12 in 12 years in a row Yeah, but even that that don't make sense That's where I'll disagree with you and Asian women throw down Understand, well, I don't see a fucking Chinese lady Eat hot dogs in a native country You know she comes in also to study eating fucking rubber those hot dogs are rubber, you know Nathan's are pretty bad. Do you have you had a Nathan's alive? I have no ideally. I have no idea Yeah, I know with when we went to my chili, right? The chili they have chili Nathan I haven't they're gonna sell your cruise rest stop on Fucking on the road. I always go to sell your cruise rest stop and I get one of those Because they have a yeah, they have those things on that at Lee. I don't know I don't fucking know what's going on in the world anymore And you tend just to mind your business That that's your best bet is just to mind your fucking business some days because it's too big You didn't want to hear how he got to this point. You're like, okay You think I should do okay? I saw a lot of crazy people last week in Austin. Oh, I'm sure They he does something to you. I think I don't know what they do. I just saw a lot of crazy homeless people and I was sitting for the whole time at night. Just watch people walk by for a half hour And it's just as it was a Monday night last week. I'm sitting out there talking to the Bellman Smoke the joint. I'm just talking to him And there wasn't a lot of people out like it wasn't constant But every five minutes There were these two girls that were dressed alike one of the girls shoes broke They kept walking to the corner and then walking back I watched this like 30 minutes Walk to the corner and with the busted shoe And every time they'd walk back for some miles. Oh, I left my purse at the bar. Oh, I left this At one point I saw four black women walking down the street. One of them was gigantic with silver hot pants on You mean taller fat or both big Like 400 pounds big like she had to make those hot pants at the house She didn't get those that no fucking Wendy's or a fucking came hard somebody made those at the house You know, and you see, and I have nothing against anybody having a good time, but it was Monday, fucking night. And he's paying, I mean, listen, and Austin Monday nights, there's just one thing going on that's killed on me. Yeah, it is fucking back down now. You saw it. I just Monday, I went to dinner, and then I went there. I got there around nine. And then afterward was when I was blown away, what the bar looked like. You couldn't move. You couldn't move. You couldn't move. And it's dark. And the smoke in there, it was fucking buck wild. Nice. I left early. I got to fuck out of there early because I had to be up early to go to waste a while. Tuesday, I did a podcast with Christina Mariani, but that was great. I had a great time with her. She's on a different fucking planet. But I didn't do much. I did two nights of stand up. The first night I had a tremendous bag of dicks, but it was great. I could tell it's like the eight minute mark. There was no turning this set around. I had already buried myself just so bad up front that I couldn't get out of it. So did you dig deeper? Do you like fucking let's try new shit? Yeah, but I wasn't getting them with. So in fact, I got off and nobody was dead. I'm just going to get off nobody was dead. But I went back Wednesday night and I got enough for the night before and the night before. Like I just went off because the jokes weren't like I didn't put them on paper and thought I just looked at the notebook and went to dinner. And that's never good. And I wanted to do the bucket show, but they were running later, whatever. So I just did the big show first, but boy, that was a bombing. That was tremendous. I like how you like it now. It doesn't happen. I'm on the greener pastors. Like I'm going on stage tomorrow and where I'm going tomorrow is a rough and tumble place. So I might bomb again, but guess what? I got two bombs out of the way. Now I'm home free for like 10 sets. It's percentages. That's how I look at it. I may be wrong. Yeah, I mean, I don't know I said, you don't feel like if you're going to like get into a rhythm of bombing, you just feel like, no, because I know the nucleus of bombing. There's a couple things that will make you bomb, not preparation, not taking two minutes before you go up on your own. Now look, listen, when you look at your material for like 10 minutes, your percentages go up to you're not going to bomb like 70% or something. So you always try to look at your material, maybe add some. I didn't know that that night. I went against the grain. I got down there. I'm like, I said, I thought I'd warm up in the bucket show. And then the big room show is like stealing. I didn't get up in the bucket show. And it was the slow death of fucking life. And how was ways to well? Ways to well is always good. If you're feeling better, yeah, they drew some blood. They fucking stem saw my lung. I'm a little mouse in my lung no more, because for a couple of days, I can hear a mouse like a little whistle and shit when you smoke dope. That means the emphysema's creeping up. Jesus Christ. I just fucking do a whack of that in the mask and I'm good, man. Nice. It seems like you're having fun in Austin now. I have a lot of fun in Austin. I really do. I do what I can't do here. I drink one night. I went through a pool one day. You know, I'm moving down there. Yeah, I'm getting a place. I'm moving to Red Band's building. Oh shit. I'm gonna start a residency once a month at Joe's. Okay. And I go down there once a month. And I don't have to be down there. Now I can stay the weekends, because Mercy's not playing the winters in the weekends. What do you mean you're like the whole family is moving? You're just gonna get like a second play. No, okay. I'm gonna go to one bedroom apartment in Red Band's building. Okay. They got everything there. Red lights, slaughter, plunges, podcast offices, a conference room, two rooms to watch movies, a supermarket downstairs, an honor system. I'll rob that place of that. I don't think it's an honor system. I think they got cameras. I'll spray paint the cameras before I get down. How often are you gonna go? One week a month. Okay. Why not? You know, here's the only question I have for you. And I get it. You're going to like one of the top clubs in the country and the world now. But like for you, you have to fly, why not drive an hour from New York, but you'll fly it. It just seems it seems anti what I would know from Joe's. I would be able to only do one set for that drive. Okay. It's like, why don't you go on the road back to back to places? You'd make more money because you wouldn't have to leave. You could just get it, but there's no more $10 hotels. Right. Okay. So I figured I'd go down there. If I could do four sets tonight, I'm way out of the curve. On the way home, stop at Brian's or something like that and do that. That's five sets. I'm way out of the curve. Nice. And here, you know, if I could do two spots a week, and that's four hours, right? Two spots I got to invest four hours of driving. Yeah. So I guess once you get down to Austin, it's really easy. And it's yeah, okay. I see it. I'm used to the plane ride. I just download some shows on Netflix. Yeah. I get super high. I take an editable and I put my headphones on. And you don't have to run to car because you can just walk everywhere. No, I have to rent the car. I ain't walking nowhere. Oh, but I'm all the fuck. Isn't it like two blocks? No, because this is a little long, but I ain't walking those streets. Oh, okay. No. Oh, yeah. You'd probably get destroyed. No, I ain't walking those streets. So yeah, it just makes sense for me, plus I get out of here, man. What are you going to do that? Are you looking now? Yeah, that's it. It's August. I'm getting it. And maybe mid September start doing shows down there. Fuck. That's crazy. Well, it's been a while since you've had an apartment. I remember that apartment in North Hollywood. It's going to be, are you going to bring a can? How are you going to get an animal for it? No, no. We're going to take care of it for three weeks. Fuck oh, I don't know. I don't believe in that by himself. Now I don't do that to animal. Yeah, every three weeks and coming high, no fuckers like I've been here for a month by myself. Are you going to clean the place? Yeah, it comes with cleaning lady. No, it doesn't. That's one of the amenities. Oh, shit. Okay. And if you want to come down and stay there, that's fine. You just got to play the cleaning lady. Okay. I get down there. I don't think you're going to let me say that. No, you know, like, you know, when we shit in your bathroom and you're going to fall asleep on fudge and shit again. Oh, fuck yeah, it just makes sense. Cool. I'm a little older. I should listen guys. You know what I do during a week. This day is I don't even talk to people unless it's you three fucking idiots. So you understand me? That's not healthy either. Right. I got to walk around slow because I got to go to the gym. Ain't nobody but my house in the daytime. And the only way I could chat to people is if I go to the boxing gym. The gym I go that's just me and him. And then if I work out at the gym by my house, there's a couple of people in there. But if I don't talk to those people, I'm stuck talking to a 56 year old woman and a 13 year old girl all day. Right. And that's fine. That's my family. That's fine. You guys are all an hour away. It's like doing stand up. I got to get back on the car and go up to do a fucking thing. You know, I live in simplicity. It's good, but it's bad. Simplicity is the scam I had in California. Studio city down the hill. Make it right. You're at the county store. Yeah. 15 minutes. You want Joe's pizza. I want to go to a weed store. It's right next to the crowd therapy place. I like that. I like having a little community right there. I'll bring my own weed down to Austin. I have to do shit. I'll let you. Maybe the building has everything. The building has everything I need in a day time. Yeah. And then at night, I could go do a couple spots, stop, start there at six o'clock. Oh, yeah. You know, so that's my story and I'm sticking to it. That's cool. You don't really have to see anybody. I don't have to hang with anybody. My show, they wanted to talk to people, but not, you know, okay, got it. My sets of Thursdays is seven. I'll always do my show Thursday early so I can be back and I can fly back Friday morning. Okay. Nice. Yeah. You'll get really good, really fast. I don't need to get really good, really fast. I just need to get more consistency. It just needs to be more consistency. It's not about 20 spots for me. It's just about being a little more. I can't live on four spots a month now. And just go to the dojo and I don't want to really want to go into the city and start that mess. So there's something I got to do that'll make me happy at the thing. I could go there and gig a little bit. I like Brian Redback. Yeah, he's great. I've always liked Brian Redback. Always. I've had disagreements with him, but I know he loves me and I love the fuck out of him. I'm going to have him in the building and you know who is on top of him. Oh, Jamie. No way. So what type of problems am I going to have in that building? That settles that right there. They're going to get a lot of calls about Roku's and both of those motherfuckers on top of me. So that handles all that. If I want to play a game, I don't, if I want to fucking do a podcast downstairs and a fucking podcast room, that handles everything. Jamie doesn't go out at night. He sits there with his girlfriend. So he told me, if you move here, you got 24/7 fucking tech support. Perfect. None of that Apple shit. You know, this is right upstairs and they'll hop right downstairs until he gets a call at six in the morning. Yeah. I don't give a fuck. I know you don't know. I just need a little excitement in my life. Just not much. I'm not looking to do you. I'm not looking to shoot heroin. I'm not looking to stay at a club. Don't fall in the morning just a different excitement in my life. The softball is great with my daughter and my wife one of the weekends. I love spending time with them, but there's something missing. There's just something missing. That place down there where I live, I love it, but it's too solitude for me. But even if I move up here, all you motherfuckers are in benefit anyway. George is maybe 1045. Everybody goes to bed early. There's nowhere I could go to Rudy's or something. I don't mind going to Rudy's at night, but there's eight knuckleheads and they're asking you creepy questions. I don't need that either. So that's awesome. So fuck August. Okay. And the rent is not killing me. That's what I'm saying. If the rent was like astronomical and I was forcing the hand, what do I need? A bed, some dishes, a pullout couch, a lot of blankets because that fucking place is cold. When I was doing a podcast, I couldn't keep it together. I was trembling. Carly, bread bands, wife, they all have blankets on and socks and shit because that whole thing is cold. It's hot. Yeah. But their condition is five-star. And that holds down. That's the most important thing. You go to a fucking restaurant. You're freezing. Any restaurant you got to bring a jacket down there. Fuck yeah. That's just something differently. I just need to do a little different shit. Have you done like, because I almost did that before I came to New York, I almost did that with Simone. So Steve was going to get a place and spend it like a week or so a month there. I wasn't going to go there. And you like, you can do the math like RDA or Austin. And if you're like, I don't know what your run's going to be, but let's just say it's two grand. That's like what? Five, six nights in a hotel? Yeah. And you get a full month. It's really got to eat out. And that kills you. Right. I could buy fruit now and eat it for breakfast. At least I know how to buy time now. I used to be at have to eat in the morning. I don't have to eat anymore. I just need something to get me out of the house with a little protein. Maybe could buy them and say, you know what I'm saying? I'm getting to throw parties. I can't wait. I can't imagine you in an apartment. When was the last time you lived alone? Prison. I'm not going to have any parties. No, that's too bad. I don't like people in my house. Oh my God. You know, so no. Are you nervous at all? No. I'm nervous about furniture. All that's having to buy ketchup all over again and mustard fucking silverware. And that shit's a fucking pain he has. But by that time I just talked to her today, she'll be down there, man, the Merlot. And she goes, I got you. Oh, yeah. Nice. She goes, I got you. So I just brought some cash and go. Oh, you're not even going to go and like test out the furniture, look at it. And that's just that. I'm going to look at it like you do. Go online. I like that couch right there. And then you put in your credit card and it's the Liberty House. Yeah. I can live with that way. It's, oh, I got, if I look at it on paper, like a regular human being, I got 18 more months to stand up comedy. But we all know that's a lie. It could either if I hit the lottery, I'll quit tomorrow like 80 million lows, but they give you like 200 million flat. There's no reason to crack jokes. Yeah. Are you playing a lot? I crack jokes where I want. I just make all the comedy places. No, I don't play a lot of it. But you know what I'm saying? If something happened obscured. Yeah. But right now I'm looking at like right now, I can't think of me not going on stage once or twice a week. Yeah. I'll stab somebody. I'll stab somebody. And for me, I know how to do it. It's easy. Like, in Austin, it's easy. I get there at 715. I'm out of head by 830. I got two spots under my belt. Like a wall, go eat some dinner, go back to the house, smoke some pot, watch a movie. And then they got a whole second resurgence there at 10 o'clock. You got to do 30 other fucking. I'm sure you could, if you wanted to, and this was way too much for you, but you could probably go from seven to midnight four, five, nine, two week. I mean, on that one street, I just realized what a Vulcan was last week for the first time. I've been going there for five years. I just saw the Vulcan by mistake. That's the Vulcan. That's all right there. Yeah. It's the Vulcan. Joe's two doors down from Joe's. They do comedy. And then the next block is Brian, a little bit down more as Creek and McKay. Yeah. And there's, and there's a ton of more places. What is it? There's more. That's it. There's that one strip. I've got the fucking way you're going to be next week. Cap city. You got helium is down there and they're down there too. That's that's cap city. That's cap city. But then they have, they have like, and I've heard of like Anton's. They have bar shows. Do there's a lot of. I'm very happy. I'm going to try some much. So nobody gets excited. It has leveled down a little bit. What do you mean? Like the guys were telling me some of the places closed down. Of course. It just got too crazy. Places closed in New York all the time. It went up. It went up up up up up up up. And now it's but that's good too. Like there were late shows that were light at Joe's. Couple nights. I was like, light, man. And they just had a summer. The students are gone. You know. So it's a little bit on the quiet. That's why I said, I don't, I'm not the rush. I could do September. I've told the November December. Maybe do something down there for New Year's or 30th. Something, something different. I don't want to do New Year's. But I got all mixed shit. I want to do. I want to go to Milwaukee. Nice. I really made a list of where I want to go. And that's it. I'm going to keep this simple. And that's why I like, I know you're not trying to like, you know, go back to five, six, nine, it's a week. But when I was saying you're going to get good, not that you're not good now. But it's, it's just like you said repetition. If you, if you, if you're going on stage, if you're this good at four sets a month, imagine what your standup is going to be like when you're doing 12, 15, I read an article. I read an article. Like three days ago, that was fucking interesting. And it was like, and this is simple shit. They take it to take 10,000 steps a day. Uh-huh. That's why bullshit. That was a pedometer company in Japan. And that started that. They tell you all these things like Joey, you know, whenever I trained with awe, you're at an age where you got to eat 150 grams to 200 grams of protein today. You know what that is? That's a lot of food. Because an egg has got seven grams of protein. I can't attune it. I got seven grams of protein. So for me to eat 150 grams, that's two steaks, three eggs and a steak for breakfast, lean chicken, you know, shit like I'm just throwing this at you. Okay. And they're trying to figure out how come guys in jail get yoked. They don't have up to a minute equipment. There's no peptides. There's some steroids, but who can afford steroids on that? And they broke it down. And they said, these guys definitely don't get 150 to 200 grams of protein a day. Definitely when you're in prison, like we had a nice cream. And I got to use protein powder. You bring protein powder in, but they ain't no blender. And in those days, there was no shakers. They could just shake your drink. I had access to the kitchen. That's why I could use the blender in the kitchen. So I was reading about why these guys and they don't have heavy weights. And it's a lot of body weight exercises. And these guys get yoked. It's because the style that you're living, you don't have no job. You really have no stress. And you do get eight hours a night in the prison. Believe it or not, you sleep the whole night unless you're in the black side. They're yelling, scream all night like like the savage is, you know, yo, Torre. You're like, it's fucking one in the morning. They want to know. But anyway, my point is that because you have all those things in a neutralized outside of that person, yeah, you can just focus. You grow more. You grow more. Your body doesn't have different things that it's exposed to to make you not gain muscle. It's like the perfect fucking thing. And I was thinking of how that applies to comedy. Okay. Okay. I remember there was a time I would do 10 sets a week, but between you and I only four of them were worth the shit. So the other six sets were garbage. Were they really garbage? I still punch myself in, you know, they serve the purpose. They serve the purpose. And that's what it is. It's if you can only do eight spots a week, but you can only do four spots a week. Make them work. Do it with an intent. And that's like I said, yeah, and I didn't look all my notes. I mean, there's no intent. Even when I go do a bucket show, I still look at shit because I want my mind registering on all whatever. So maybe the eight sets just like for me to go into the city every night and drive two hours a night and get stuck in traffic on the way back. It's the Lord diminishing returns. Right. So I got to pick like two or three nights. I don't want to do that either. Right. No, I get I mean, look at all these sedic. I don't I don't want to disrespect Houston, but I'm imagining it's not like a huge maca of stand up. I'm sure there are nights to get up, but he still lives there and is putting out like he did something this last year that I couldn't even imagine someone recording two different hours on the same night. Like he had two different hour long. sets. That guy, like, but my point is is that he's not, I can't imagine he's doing the the amount of sets that you were doing now, like, or New York or Austin or, you know, it's, it's, you can definitely do it. But it's also, but it's a process you have to write and bring that material up on stage. So all that shit needs to get condensed. And I'm willing to do that. I'm really good at that shit. I'm better at doing that than to say eight nights a week as standard. So for me, no matter what you do, it's doing it with an intent, whether you're a frame or a plumber, you know, you, you put a bit on a, a plumbing project. Can't go in there with your head up your ass every day, fucking counts. You lose money. And once you're in the fucking red, you're just going to keep losing money on that job. It's the same thing. So I figured out with comedy, listen, and then you have to look at what you want. I'm not looking at you to special. I'm not looking to get on any shows. I'm not looking for any of that shit. I want to hollywood out of my standup. So it's just standup. Follow me. All that shit's out of my fucking life. I don't have to deal with an agent in the room. This guy's in the room and he books rooms. I don't give a fuck. This is, it's going to sound like I'm being mean, but you're almost like an advanced open-micro. Like you're, you're like an open-micro, but you're like, you know, the top level. It's like, that's great. You don't, you have no, that's all, like, at people at my level, that's all we talk about, all we care about is like getting on this show, getting into this club. And it takes up so much time in my, in your head, just that mental space, all that mental space, all that, you know, you, your mind capacity only has a little bit. You're trying to improve and stand up. And now I got to worry about the agent. I got to worry about, oh, you can't curse in this room. I got to worry about all that shit. When you take it out of the fucking, when you take it out of the equation, it loosens the load up. I don't care if I'm woke. I don't care about what comes out of my mouth. I don't care if they cancel me at this point, because they can't. There's just so many things that I don't worry about anymore. And it's made my life that much easier. But you know, you don't you want to do it like right now. They just hit me with an audition. I'm going to put that audition on tape like I want to get fucking raped. You know what? I got a movie. I got two days. I'm good for right now. I'm good. In the old days, I would have that eating at me and run home and do eating at me eating at me. So I wouldn't be focused here. And I'm not going to be focused on my standup set. I'm focused on whether or how I'm going to get this. But now I look at this and I go, what's it going to do for me? I wish I would have done all those things. But towards the end, I was doing that already. Like what is this going to do for me in the big equation here? I get to meet some people, shoot something and blah, blah, blah, but how much it's a TV show on network. I can't even be me. So I want it my standup to come to this level. Right. Where I had the balls to say, like Lenny Clark did and a lot of guys at one point in their lives. Why didn't do it? I'm not even comparing myself with those guys. But there's guys that just totally left that way when they were on top like killing it, they just left. Bernie Mac, they moved to Chicago. And guess what? The opportunities got bigger because they left. Is it almost like because you leave you've seen more like, no, no, it's an error. Confidence or something. Listen, look at Josh Wolf yesterday. You know, I'm on Instagram. So I see the lineups from different places. Okay. Especially Los Angeles. I know those places. Now look at these lineups. I'm not trying to be negative to anybody. What are they doing? A lot of people left. No, no, no. What are they doing? I was doing standup with those same guys in 1997. Now they're still there doing these bars and they're on a lineup that I wouldn't want to be on. Like, I wouldn't want to be on that lineup. And you look at that and you go, I'm so happy just to remove myself from that because I would have been in the same rotation. Well, we got this weekly. I got a 730 at the end problem Monday. Tuesday got the laughing at the end of the week. You're like, what the fuck do I do? It's the same shit over and over. And everybody gets excited about shows. It's on sunset, the flyer. And then you get then as 14 people. What I'm trying to say is that you eliminate that shit from your mind. And you're going to improve a lot more anyway. What's up, beautiful people. Fight night is here. And only draft Kings has you fully covered. The draft King sports app is now available in all 50 states and includes all markets sweat every round of the card. All in one place with one app. New draft King's customers sign up with code Joey, J O E Y and spend five bucks to get 200 bucks and rewards within 21 days. That's code Joey and partnership with draft Kings. Well, hey, the crown is yours. Bet with DK Sportsbook. Gamaling problem called 1-800-Gambler. 1-800-Mire reset. Connecticut called 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org. 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Now here and I love you to death, but just from a young or young anybody listening to this, is it easier for you to do that because you have like a certain level of success? Like no, you think you could have done back then? I still remember when I was featuring, barely featuring. The club would call me for a feature act and the same thing I would do. I would say, let me call you back in two minutes. I can't hear. And I would go on their website. And if they had a comic that I didn't like, two of them, I wouldn't take the week because I don't want my fucking face and name on the same calendar. Those kids are deaths. I ratten, but in those days, it was 550. And still, I can still find it. I can still steal 550. So I looked at it that way. I just did not want to be in that rotational names because at some point, like I told you, you have to start making these calls. And by you making these calls, that growth is definitely going to come because you shut down an avenue. I'm not doing this guy's working on a Georgian highway. I'm in a conversation about some dude that gives them work like twice a year. It's good work, but it takes too long to pay. Oh, yeah. You told me that and you got to do this. I got to jump through hurdles. It's my fucking money. So the job was one thing. The job was one thing, but now I got to sit there for six weeks and wait for a check. So how much was the job really worth to you? Yeah. Now I got agita. I don't need to fucking 600 hours, but the fact that he still has my 600 for four months and the corporation has to sit down and decide on when they write checks. Thank for me no more. I need for me no more. I bring you a frame. You cut me it. You give me six bills. That's it. But now I got to go through paperwork and I have to have the board approve it and all this shit. I don't need that in my life for the 600 bucks. They're gonna pay you. Forget it. I could do three gigs and get the money and all the process I'm putting into this one gig. That's fair, but it's I Don't know I'm I'm I'm I feel I'm doing the opposite of what you're saying levels of you could listen I didn't think like this to about Let me tell you when I start thinking like this when I got off coke and I remember who the fuck I was Once I got off coke. I was like okay now I got to play this game Like when I was a kid people were open bars Quintessence, I made a promise. I'm never stopped for foot in Quintessence. I don't care how much coke there is I don't care who suck and dick. It was for my personal growth. I'm not going down there And I stuck to it and sometimes in life You're gonna have a club that gives you work every fucking month They give you MC though It's a good $400, but it's they don't want to promote you That don't want to do nothing, but you've been waiting there because you think you're gonna feature there He says gonna call feature me, you know, one of the chairs in the club, you know What am I doing and you cut off all communication with this person? Like you're like, I don't need to go up there anymore and watch what happens Something will because it because again the universe is always watching So this was is something you promoted yourself You promoted yourself you gave yourself a raise you said this is what my value is and this is what I'm worth and if you're not gonna Give me that. I'm not walking like in the old days. You know what? All right, I'll do it this time not this time and It burns your heart when you get in that car. You're like man. I could use that money But I can't keep doing this with this person. He's got to pay me my fucking value and Just thinking that way that rises you that mentality raises you sometimes You're like, this is what I'm not doing no more. I'm not doing those gigs when I met you I'm not doing a dollar day movies no more Every other week I was getting off for 11 days 11 days 11 hours that's no money when you're acting No, no, and also guess what after 11 months, I started getting offers on humane shit Just shit that's humane right my control the narrative not them We were talking about Portland last week. I told you this is all gonna happen. Yeah, it's a dead week as it is These club owners want to throw you in there Just to see if by some cord something happens and you pack the place up. Let's afford to July week Nobody wants to get commonly afford to July week, and they want to eat hot dogs They want to try and they want to see the fireworks, you know Especially when they're free. Yeah. Yeah, I Weekend got moved to November, so I'll see you in there. Well, you know, it's and it's it's tough Because I want I want to dude. I like it hard thinking about telling a club owner know or Like sure that with that one that would have been your first no Headlining weekend. No, but it's a headlining room in an oven. It's not the main state He's gonna give it to you in the B room. Yeah, of course. No, I could sit at home for a 400 I could sit at home, bro Really he said no, yeah, I said no, I can sit at home See I'm gonna talk like that five flat. That's 10 hours in the air out of your life You lose the money on the plane ticket It's a loser all the way across and now they want to offer you 4th of July weekend for you to prove yourself. You know what? Fuck you. I'll come back from September and if you don't want to give it to me That's fine too because you were trying to cut my legs off By me doing a 4th of July you were gonna make you guys somebody local for that You can hire somebody out of Seattle. Don't make a guy climb five fucking hours That's five fucking hours that's 10 hours. Oh see that doesn't but and it maybe it should maybe that's what exactly what you're saying is that I should start looking at like that But I'm even talking about You know where I'm at it would be like some of the some of the bar shows or maybe like a specific like a promoter Like I've never I've never done a trouble one, but like maybe somewhere like a creepy guy like that. I don't answer his call but even that I did just tell I just decided and it's really sucked. I went and I said I don't have a spot There's this club that I really like that is going through something and I told then I told the new owner that I have to wait to go there until Some weird stuff is not like They're not going through this thing anymore With a guy grabbing the girls pussy. Yeah So I always the club still get heat over that Yeah, it's changing ownership and I love the place. They'd be they've been nothing but good to me It's honestly I feel like it's like part like my home club in New York But with just the fact That because I saw what was what was happening and some and the fact that someone is still there Acting like nothing ever happened acting you know, and I don't know it could be false. I'm not say uh Who knows what actually happened But to have all that happening I didn't want I didn't want someone who has an opinion about it Any sort of way because it's a big deal To affect me so I told so that it's changing ownership I told it and I love the kid who who who owns it and runs it But I that is something that I did and it fucking I almost broke I almost texted him a couple times when I didn't have spots because I wanted told me don't want to do the club no more I just told him I want to wait until this passes until the ownership changes Um, and he got he totally and you know I was really scared to send the to talk to him about it and He was like surprisingly like I thought it was gonna be like fuck you Yeah, I've put you up you I'm not doing shows with me even when it changes Couldn't have been cooler, but he's like I totally get it. It's a shitty situation Um, love to have you back whenever whenever things change so like oh shit, maybe it is and that even in New York I've been waiting For like I don't know how people get past like I'll always all you guys talk about getting past places I thought like you were just sitting at the club one day You did a spot and like the book was like now you hit your past or you have to do it. I'm sure that does happen occasionally But I like realize like four months ago. I'm like oh, I have to ask to get past places And then like some of them tell me like you know where we do auditions x amount of times a year or whatever But I'll place it like oh yeah, sure like I've seen you you're funny and like I've been waiting For them to like like night me almost if like that's what like that's what getting past feels like But it's like oh you have to ask a question You married your wife in December hmm After you got home after the wedding was she any different to you. No It's been the same here Same thing goes for those comedy clubs What do you mean? We get so excited about getting them one and nothing happens Oh getting past yeah, yeah nothing happens and then you do get past and maybe nothing happens But at least the way I feel about it is I It's crazy how quickly the time passes. I'm like where was I last your life worth comedically And I'm I'm sure I could have done better or worked harder. I'm not saying I did everything I wanted to do But I'm definitely not the same and I'm not less. I'm definitely funnier. I'm definitely doing more spots. I'm doing more in New York It's not at all as fast as I'd like it to be never is but that's Yeah, I might get past and then do like I think I have a spot at I just got past at this other place I think I have a spot in like a week or two is like the one spot I have this month but I feel like Hopefully next July 4th. I'm doing One spot a night at a real club. I'd like to be doing two or three but like just realistically if I could have average five during the week and just a club like not a bar I mean, we'll see hopefully it's more hopefully you know I'm starting I'm fine after years of you telling me I'm finally starting a show at a club. I'm very excited But it's just I don't know that's how I'm measuring myself is where was I last year which is no no that's how we all do it And I do it a couple times a year is January 1st like this last week and I don't talk to myself That's it six months to pass What the fuck are we doing? And what the fuck are we doing so now Since I got back I've been kicking it up completely and making more calls Because it picks up and then I'll do it again September And then I got a wild bug in my ass and I'll do it again now then you know But every year you bait you look at where you were The year before and I don't want everybody to remember this I did come here for six years before I moved to LA Which I think was fucking too short to move to LA I always thought in my ad if I did move it'd be like 10 years and I got that to six year more And it took me you know a couple of years to get a movie, a couple of years to get a TV show. It wasn't a lot of them, whatever, but at least I got something once a year. And then we got along the shard and then, you know, my name is Earl, and I was looking at life through that. Like, I used to do co-stars, now I'm doing guest stars or whatever the fuck. But at the same time, comedically, thought nothing happens to me. From 97 to mercy was born. 2013. And I had done specials. I had them on Apple. They never did nothing. I swung, you know, but nothing really happened. Well, the movie's happened. Well, once the movies happen, at least something happened. So that slows your role. That gives you a little bit more confidence. But stand up wise, I was always with shitty agents or, you know, theatrical agents when I would have to train them and do all that shit, which I didn't mind. My point is that I waited while everybody else grew and got rich around me, hiding that stuff. Never mind getting spots. But when you're hanging out with Ralphie May, and next to you know, he's in the house with a pound of weed on his fucking thing, you guys used to have a hard time getting a 20. So I just, in my mind, not to say that I was a loser, but to buy into that, I said that I'm next on the conveyor belt. It's just conveyor belt, man. We just convey a belt. And you're there for a while, you move up a little on a conveyor belt. Oh, he got a couple of movies, but stand up was still going by. And on some point, I just happened to get on that conveyor belt. Then Ari started a story telling show, and then everything came into more. But it was 14 years, guys. Fuck even. Yeah, 91 to 2012 until now. Here's the funny thing that I could see if you just bust a lot in 2012, but I had a role in a couple of big movies. I wasn't selling tickets. So when people understand at home, this is a fucking marathon. And yeah, but Joey, that's easy for you to say, no, no, no, no, because this is a fucking marathon. And guess what? She's going to happen at the 25 year mark. And she's going to happen at the 30 year mark. And you're going to go, wow, but that first mark is very hard. So you don't become a household name, but just somebody that people know. Now people come up to you once a month and going, hey, aren't you comedian? Yeah, yeah, I went to the store one and I see it. And it feels good, you know, and of course, but it's a slow process. And the more you rush it in your mind, it's going to hurt more. It's going to hurt more because you're going to go, I'm doing all this shit, but you're not doing all that shit. You're doing this shit around you. You're not doing the main shit, which is writing and putting no material every fucking day and going out every night. Right now, I'm not a comic. I'm a part-time hobbyist. I go out once a week, twice if I'm lucky. When I was hungry and the fucking, you know, I was in a green room last week with all these big names. And they're all talking and I'm looking like Christina Mariani still has a notebook. And she's still making notes before she goes on stage. I felt like saying, hey guys, remember when we used to do that, yeah? And how does it take time, man? And if you do get something quick, it's not good for you. It's not good for you because I want you to see other people that you're on stage with every other night get big and see how they behave. See what their behavior is now because before all this shit can happen, you got to be prepared for this because your world is going to change. You're going to go from walking into a club and they're like, hey, how are you? To hey, when do you want to go up now? Do you want to water? Do you want to foot rum? I'm the same guy I was last year. That part sounds nice. Huh? So do you understand when you put it by the 2008 mark? Well, I watched a desperation off me earlier than that. But by 2008, once I got off the coke, I realized that it wasn't about comedy. It wasn't my name. It was going to be developing as a man. And then the comedy would fall on top of that. And that's what I tell people all the time that before you're a comedian, you're a fucking man. So it's like two people, too many people get into comedy and people say things to them and they get lost in the shuffle. And now you just become a punching bag for the comedy community. You know, I see guys that are featuring for 20 years. They just became punching bags, you know. And you leave this fucking plan of the feature act. So what you try to do is just know that it's going to take time and focus on what's going to get you there. You know, if I got to lie in and take a picture about Lanark City, is it going to really sell out? You know what I mean? Like there's just so many fucking things that we try to do to accelerate the process. But it's just time. And it's by the time you're on that compressor belt. How long to the top? How many people going to drop off? Who's going to old D? Who's going to die? Who's going to fucking get hit by a truck? All these things help you. That's what I can tell you, man, with me, it was a couple of things that helped me. And one guy had to die. I'm not going to say who was. But that mother when he died, I'm like, oh, thank God. I don't know. I don't know what to convey about. Oh, that's fucked up. I'm on the conveyor belt. But it's true. But it's very true, my friend, especially when you're when you've been doing it for 14. I'm only in my like going into my 10th year doing four more of feeling like you're not getting what everyone's getting. You weren't happy that it was dead. But it was like, that was your second thought. Yeah, once he died, you know, I saw that he was dying or something like, oh, shit, my conveyor belt is opening without me having to push anybody off the belt. But all these little things, man, and it's just keeping it together till you get there. Once you have so much confidence in yourself, you're like, I'm doing this type of shit, but nobody's watching. Good. I'm happy that I'm not watching. Watch me now, you know, and it's focusing on that stuff. And that's why I think helped me out, but I have to look back now. I still remember I used to get like this ain't lying to anybody in this room. I would get like $30 a quarter from Apple when I had like live at the four aces and the other piece of shit out of my dead. And then I remember going on Rogan and being at dinner like in December, and I got a text from the Apple guy like he was friends of mine at the same time. He's like, hey, man, I'm sending up this amount for the other day. And it was like $900. And I almost died at the dinner table. Like, I've had these albums up here. I've never done 30 a quarter. Four quarters you get checked. That was the first and I'm being at dinner going holy fuck. Something's going on. Somebody bought a lot of homes or they made a mistake. I couldn't even enjoy my dinner because I'm like, man, I'm gonna get caught. Somebody did something fucked up. But it was I didn't even know what I was doing, but I was doing it. Every time I go on Rogan and I talk shit, they get off the podcast, they just look for your shit and they buy it. So it takes a long time, man. And I'm happy. Everything worked out like it did with me. I'm really happy. Listen, I wish it would have happened in 2005. I mean, I'm the only guy that didn't get anything from the longest yard. Nothing. Nothing. Chris Rock got some, Lobo got some, the black dude that makes the tits go up and down and got some. Everybody got something. Nick Turo got some. I got nothing. So I knew something was coming down the pipe. I didn't know it was going to be this. I didn't know it was going to get to this extreme, but patience is not a virtue. It's everything in this type of shit. Next, a politician, aspiring politician, you better stick a patient's pill up his ass. That's it. It's patience now. Yeah, you believing yourself. You do the best that you could do. But in those type of positions, there's so many other circumstances that are going on. It's not like me being a baseball player. I know my job. I got a 40 on runs. As long as I hit my 40 on runs, I'm fucking good with politics with standup. I don't know what else is brewing, right? You know, HBO might send you a fucking thing tomorrow. Go Lee, we're doing a show on ju-comics. Young ju-comics, we saw you at the stand. You're perfect for it. What do you do? You go home, call mom, hug the wife, bet the dog. You call me. You call Nick. You call George. I'm going to go and also in their names, come on. You're like, I've never heard these people get because you forgot L.A. You forgot about the Jews in L.A. And those Jews are around those Jews more. So they were automatically gonna put them on your show. - Right. - You know, it was a dirty show they did years ago. I was perfect for, I didn't even get a call. - What, Montreal? - No, it was for like an HBO show years ago. 50, you know what feelings being heard is? That's when feelings are heard. - Montreal? - No, it was like that, HBO series. And they called me and they didn't call me. They called everybody. They even put people on that weren't dirty over me. - Oh, Jesus, how do you think I felt? - And I'm sure you're not gonna blame it. But like when you were really big, do you think that's part of the reason why? Like when you're 400 pounds? - About what? - Like why people, why they might not have given you opportunities? - Look at Ralph, he may. That's true. - That is fat and funny is funny. Whether I look like a skeleton, or I look like a human sloth. Funny is fucking funny, okay? Selling tickets and them accepting you has nothing to do with anything. That's what I'm saying to people. We mix all this shit up and our head and add more pressure. Me just being funny, if you just stick to that, how do I get funny? I wanna do a bit and do machine guns after every bit and I want eight of those in a row. So eight times five is 40 minutes. Plus the little machine guns that takes me 10 more minutes is 50 minutes. You know, when I watch John Mulaney, I wish I could write like him. And I got upset with myself, but I got shit that John Mulaney don't have and John has shit I don't have. And we built on those and we don't build. He's a great writer. I'm not a great writer like that. I try, I try. So there's all things, but patience, whether you're selling houses and you're getting into it. You know, I love these people. I'm gonna, I'm gonna do this and my life's gonna change. Good luck. I know a lot of people do the same thing and their life ain't changing. So good fucking luck to you. It's, you know, the time that you make of it, but I don't like, I left things go early on. Like in 2000, by 2001, I couldn't get jealous about other people. I just stopped worrying about other people. Well, somebody's gonna do an act career and how long is it gonna take me? It's too different. It might take you 20 minutes to get to the, to the where it's a place you used to live. Unbroken? No, the Stone Edge. It might take you 25 minutes to walk there. It might take me three hours. Well, the other side, it doesn't matter. You're still gonna get there. It's hard to, I don't know. I struggle with being patient. It's, you're fucking jewel. That's the fucking thing. It doesn't help. You're neurotic, you have, that's why you need to be high. Only for hours a day, like I told you for years, but again, my voice is, it's not matter. It's impossible to be high to 24 hour. You know, one, you're smoking right on the, right when you're talking to those podcast people. What are you doing? Nothing. I'm swatting flies, you know what I'm saying? Because your neuroticism is gonna take you down. Before you make the call, you already talk yourself out of the move. When we're gambling, you lose 199. You refuse to go in your pocket and get five more hours. You're done, you're defeated. You're gonna roast me sandwich and come back. Who gets a fuck? Yeah, you love to gamble. You know what they're doing. I can't take the same amount of two, 'cause I don't know what they're doing. I'm looking at you. I'm looking at you and Nick. And everybody around you. It's so funny, you're so good with numbers. And in the black jacket, but you look at them, like you don't know where you're looking at. I don't know what I'm looking at. Everybody has these rules. And the dealer has fucking this card. You can't go bet against the deal. I ain't got no time for me. 'Cause I know in the back of my head, it's just luck. It's just me being at the right place at the right time. What if I were to put five hours on that thing that rotates? Remember that thing that kept rotating? Well, we're playing Blackjack if you get 21 or 11. And I think I got 80 thousand dollars. I think I was the answer to the answer. Yeah, that's great. Meanwhile, sorry about that. Excuse me, I came out of the wrong place. Ooh, I think I was the right place. All right, I came out of this side. I came out of that side of the one. Oh my god. I mean, it's like, and guys, if I was here when I was 25, or you motherfuckers, no, I'd be lying to you. All of you. But I put it together by the time I was like 40, 43. I'm like, this is a marathon. And I ain't got nowhere to go. I got to, I'm 65 to do something. And Rodney Dangerfield made it when he was old. We got something, at least I had like an inspiration that could be done. I didn't know what was gonna happen. I just kept telling myself that as I was losing more and more of a year, I'm like, well, I'll make a comeback when I'm 60. Wow, it don't happen that way, but it did. Yeah, and you're still grateful of dead. And so I'm gonna come back, you're still going. And grateful of dead, but at the same time, there was a point where I just knew it's just a matter of time. I'm doing all the right things. I'm booking little TV shows. I'm taking an acting class from time to time. I'm opening for Joe. I'm doing my own, that lining. I'm doing spots at the store. So eventually, all that, you know, well, if you exercise, you're gonna live to your 95. That's great, but you're not getting sunlight, low stress, you know, eating right eight hours a night. There's just so many fucking variables and not just for that. It's for anything that we attempt to do. So if you want to get bigger, you have to do all that shit. Continuously, you know, whatever you call that word, continuously, you know, anyway, doesn't fucking matter. But that everybody thinks it's one thing. It's not one thing. It's all the things you're doing on the whole side there. Listen, I'm a professional basketball player for the Celtics. I just don't shoot hoops all fucking day. I lift weights. I got to run eight miles a day from my conditioning. I got to lift weights. I got to do a specific thing. Because in college, I tore my elbow. So I got to go still to PT from way shooting. It's a thousand things. You know, everybody hates on them. LeBron doesn't just shoot hoops all day. He's lifting weights. He's shooting steroids. He's doing. - Talked about, this is years ago, but he was spending like a million a year on himself. - Yeah, that's his investment. So how can we invest his comics? What can we do to get a coach? Some bum comedy coach is like, you know, the guys that try to be comedy coach I've never done anything. Everyone knows that, but you do all. But the fucking guys who didn't know how to coach. Like I wouldn't be a good coach because I want you know, approach to a certain style. And if you do, I lose interest. But I would be a good coach. But it's not something I want to do. - I honestly think that's only in standup, I would say this. Because I hope I'm doing it in 30 years. So anyone who would like, you'd like to coach you, it's like, I know I'm too busy, I'm touring. Like I'm on the other side of this. Even though I just told you I had to lie 65. If you think I thought that I was gonna be doing standup after 50, you got rocks in your fucking head. I didn't even see myself old doing standup. I'm like, by that time I'll be dead. Well, I old D or something like that. - 'Cause it was a standup issue. You just thought you were gonna be dead. - Yes. - So I was positive about some things. - Is that positive? - Very negative about others. It's like you'd be dead by fear. Oh Jesus Christ. And what age did he think that? - About what? - We like 33 and you're like, I'll be dead by 15. - Well, I always thought I was gonna die when I'm 37. And why 2K came and I didn't die that morning. Even though I didn't do coke that night, I gave it a couple of days, I'll be dead, but I didn't die. So I'm like, I'm gonna start thinking about my 40s now. - That's a crazy thought. That's a fucked up thought to have. - Oh man. All this shit, whether you join the service, no matter what you do, it's gonna take time. Because if I just give it to you, think about that. You just got on a show after two years. Killed, and you-- - Are you good though? Like, I don't know. Like that, I understand what you're saying, but like what if, and like just like cam comes to mind, how he's just killing it, I don't know. - Who? - Camp Harrison. - Okay, I saw him down there. And he's more than two years in, but he's young, and he's in like five or six, but like, he's one guy, and I'm a jealous person. When I saw him the first time, I was like, okay, yeah. I don't, not that I'm not gonna be that good, but I'm like, I am, he deserves what he is doing. Like, I don't know, like if you-- - Camp Harrison has a lot of qualities. - Yeah. - He's good looking. He's like him, he's got a great smile. He's funny, he's vibrant, and he's energetic. Right, let's just start with those six. Like the first time I saw a stand-up at Seattle, I wanted to quit too, 'cause in my mind, you'll never be that good. - Right. - But then after you think about it, and go home, and think about it, and go, wow. I don't have Camp Harrison smile. I don't have his, I like it just, but I have two other things that he might have, so I'll work on those. That's looking at yourself in a positive manner. That's why I said, you can not base your career off anybody else, 'cause it'll drive you crazy. - Right, it'll drive you crazy. This guy did it for two weeks, and he got on NBC, and he's like eight years, they haven't even talked to you. So how do you think you feel? And that's a lot of people, that's me too. And at one point, it bothers you so much, you have to let it go. Like I can't continue to walk around thinking this way. It's a waste of fucking attitude, you know. But you think that in most cases getting it early is not great, and it's worth it to wait. I saw a lot of people who came too early, and they had to stop what they were doing to go back and do the work. I don't ever want to stop what I'm doing to go back and do the work. When I show up to the dance, it's because I'm prepared. So I want you to think a bit like that. If you don't feel prepared, don't show up to the dance. Nothing wrong with that. Everybody gets a sore throat from time to time. Okay. It's tough to know when you're preparing, when you're not. You're always preparing. Right, because you're always getting better. What's the word I always use? In training. We are always in training. Always, always, always, always, always. We're always training. Smokin' dope, eatin' pussy, writing jokes early, drinking freshly squeezed orange juice. This is it. The more good things you do. Look, I quit Coke for the eight years. You know, it finally clicked. I told you that. From 2004 to 2007. I was quitting every time I got high. But it finally clicked. It just clicked one time. One time it stuck to it, you know? You put fuckin' glue on your flat thigh because you broke. And fuckin' you do it ten times. Every two days it pops again. It's feel whatever the fuck. This one time you sealed it right. You used a Mexican to seal it. You bent the fuckin' Jupiter and back eight times. That thigh hasn't popped. What? What are you laughing about? I don't know. And that's it. It's just patience. Nobody's gonna sell you that when you're in it. It's when he's in the authorities. 'Cause they couldn't sell it to me. But once you get beat up so much, people say, "Oh, well, he's a wise person." You don't become wise by not making mistakes. You become wise by making a lot of fuckin' mistakes. And going, "I ain't making that 'cause that one leads to that one." You follow me like today. Bojangles open in my neighborhood. I hate all that shit. You hate chicken? I hate all. Anything fast-food with chicken. Because I know the chickens are getting kicked. They're not the chickens you get at home. What's the kosher company you said before? Empire. Great. Those chickens that don't sell those that fuckin' Bojangles. No. And then I got to eat biscuits in there. I need biscuits. And then somebody like George will put honey on it in front of me to really get my blood pressure going on. They give you the honey, though. Because we're from Jersey. We don't put honey on our fuckin' buns. A little bag of honey, no? Honey, butter is good. Honey, save it for fuckin' red bank. When you go to red bank, what your friends are. It's a very park. You can put, "I don't even like jelly on people's shit." Like, "My daughter, my wife, eat jelly. I want to smash 'em both in there." Every time, and my wife makes that shit in Tennessee, those preserves every day. For years, I was throwing 'em out. Just throwing 'em out. She would make 'em, I just throw 'em out. She'd even tell me, "Anybody, you know what's coming out?" Now I give 'em like a two weeks and I just throw it out. I see mercy in it, I throw it out. I know what I'm bringing you in Austin. 'Cause this is Jersey, motherfucker. We don't even fuckin' preserves in Jersey, right? You wanna eat jelly? I'm gonna see cream cheese on that bitch. If not, you'll waste 'em my time and everybody else's time. My wife, if I take it to a diner, she puts fuckin' jelly on the toast. Ask her if she goes to eat breakfast for me no more. And I get ready to be that much. I go solo now until the diner asks me. Ask her. She kept putting jelly on that toast. I ain't gonna fly, dog. Why? There's a Jersey diner. What are you eating at me? No, I don't touch it. So, what are you-- Why don't you look at you if you put jelly on your toast? Why? Because you're a fuckin' baguette. That's why. I understand blue cheese with wings. I understand this. No, you don't. A lot of people don't understand anything. This is Jersey. You wanna move to California when you put jelly? But you look really angry with me. You wanna do that in New Mexico or Santa Fe where white people are very nice. Or you got those Jewish Gentiles. The ones that are Jews. But every time the Jews do something bad, they don't commit. You know, those Jewish Gentiles. No, I don't fuck with that. But I don't like that shit. My wife always tries to do that shit to me. I just stopped taking out a breakfast. That's it. No more breakfast. You only eat jelly at home. [LAUGHS] You think I'm fucking kidding you. Ask her. I love it. Ask her on the last time she went for steak and eggs and me. At that diner. No more. She knows she's banned. I banned the personally. I ate a six stuff from the Jew Delly. And I ate a six stuff from Manala Pan Diner. I can't believe this many years in. I'm still finding new rules about jelly. I have to take my wife to lunch. When I go on a restaurant with a gentleman, I already know what I want. You look at the menu as a courtesy to act like a civilian. To act like a normal human being. But I really know what I want. So, woman, you tell that waitress. The bar is packed. And you. You're stupidity. You tell that waitress to come back. You haven't made up your mind yet. I don't know if you know this. You have a knife coming through your head from me. [LAUGHS] Wait. You want the order ready to go before they get there? Right away. We walk in. White play games. You already know what you want. Hi. There's no high. There's hunger. There's no high. That's the problem in America. We want to talk too much. There's no high. I really know I want the green pea soup. And I really know I want the muscle. The specials, the special. I'll eat that later. I'll look at that later. But right now, we got to open up with this. I ain't got time to think or go back to that table and come back. There's now. She's going to go to that table. And the whole tray glass going to fall down. Now you're sitting there 20 extra minutes because you didn't know what you wanted. And I got a supplement. So as soon as I see you with that chick, that's the last time you're going to lunch with me. You already know you're going to that restaurant. I don't care if I'm driving. You're looking at the phone to see what the menu is there. But I'm not going there because I'm a fucking. I'm not going there because I'm a casual dude. I'm going there because I know what the fuck they want. And I know what they got. And I know what I want. There ain't no two ways. And every minute. So what how long, like let's say we go to a place that we didn't know we were going. We just ended up there. How long do I have with the menu? A second. This is the first thing. Give it up a water. You're already. You ever throw them off? We're going to drop the water and let you decide. There's none to decide. All right. Yeah. I love that. We're going to keep you right here because one of these motherfuckers in the table knows what he wants. Three better get it together by the time they come to us. So chop chop bitch. I ain't waiting next to 20 minutes because you want to order an appetizer and come back later. Oh, fuck your mother. I'm going in there with an intention. I suggest you go in there with one else. But you're going to sit there with a menu. What's in this? Listen, we ain't got time for that. Not today. You want a recipe. Go watch fucking May. Whatever Bobby play. There's no recipes here. Do you split dishes with people? Like I'll have half of yours. You have half of mine. Not really. Not really. Then they shoot that guy in the head for putting his fork and fill the autos. Fucking spaghetti. What? In the show. Biggest respect. I'll ask you. You want, or you'll say to me, Joe, I don't want this. You want to take it? So for me to reach over and take your sausage? No, yeah. I rather spit your food. Yeah. Yeah. What's all this? That's a drive. That's why I stopped those big dinners and all that shit. Because there's too much. People got to decide and think. Hey, no, no, no. Think about it. Is that what you like steak? Because there's not too many choices. You're like, I want steak. I want steak. Always, always take care of everything. A steak or a lobster. Right, tricky, Nikki? You could want anything in the world. Somebody goes, I got a nice team steak. I'm going to drip some butter. Bring it over. Only peck of lily, only chao chao with that. Whatever the fuck. But this shit is going to a restaurant and becoming Confucius and thinking. Do you ever ask this a little of the order? Yeah. This knucklehead says, hey, what did you get? Chicken cordon blue. You know who makes really chicken cordon blue? Now that waitress is even more mad. Because knucklehead had to say where it was better. Which it really is. And just as much as has to say it. And he doesn't matter. Instead of just ordering. Just ordering keeping his mouth shut. Keep your mouth shut. Order the meal. Don't worry about nothing. Do you ever ask the server for like their opinion on a food? Not really. Look at the server. Yeah, but they work there. Yeah, but they don't know. Hey, but even TV done is all that. And now they ate a fucking pork roll. They're losing their mind. I don't. It's like one of the weed store and ask you want to see Mophiliacs? What's the weed today? Oh my god. I want the guy that's all fucked up that lost his wife. He's smoking the real shit. Not that good looking faggot McQuarnley. And how do you handle like people who make modifications like can I have this but can I have it with the sauce from this thing or can I have a mistake instead of this? I'm just searing. I'm just burning just have it how it comes like way comes in prison. The way it comes in prison is the way it is every day. All right. That's why women who complain they don't go to eat either. I like it dark. Listen, then you shouldn't have come here. You shouldn't have come here. I'm not here for you. Your dumb husband brought you. I don't give a fuck of you. He poisoned me. I really know what I mean. I walked in here with an intention already. I already know why waste time. I think I've got time for that shit. Clicking glasses and solute. Of course, fuck your mother's ass off. I don't want to salute you if you're fucking paid near it. Have they have do servers ever come to you with like the first glass of wine? Have you like tasted and improved it? First of all, I don't drink wine. Never. I'm not in a restaurant like a bag. A four hundred hours of bottom to make believe I'm cool and you have to smell it. Yeah. And all that shit. Give me a fucking break. Meanwhile, her and him were sucking dick at white cast for a month ago. You didn't do that with the sperm. Did you? You didn't sniff it with that sperm. So all that shit don't fly with me. I walk into a cigar shop and tell him what's the best to go. Then I make a correlation 20 bucks. Give it to me. If you think I'm going to sit there. Oh, the rapper is not eating. What are you talking about? What do you say? Go fucking go upstairs before I smack you. All these fucking idiots they buy and white people love it. White people will buy right. You know, if they love that to impress, you know. I can't it's I wanted to get lamb. Remember we went to a steakhouse and they had lamb. And back in I wanted to split lamb. But there's no lamb that night. There was lamb. There was no lamb because I was there. Because I'm enjoying my dinner. I smell your stinky fucking lamb. From wherever country that comes from. I want to learn American lamb. That's great. You eat it next time. You're jumping up and down on the village or whatever the fuck you go for dinner. Wham! It's delicious. It's delicious. Yeah, great. I am brutal and George will tell you it's just a young age. I knew I was brutal. So I do things by myself. I don't mind going to movie theater with by myself. That's great. Because I don't have to hear it's cold in here. I don't want to hear that. Oh my god, these guys are talking. I don't want to hear that shit. You came to a movie today. Now I got to put in that women especially. I have blown so many dates in my life just by them saying a couple lines. Listen, we got to go home. I'll make up some reason. That was in Boulder. I'm not doing it. I'm just not going for it. I am comfortable being by myself. So I don't give a fuck if this you know. Oh, for Chinese restaurants and they all have something weird. Not in my Chinese restaurant, motherfucker. That's my go-to. It's like my wife with the bagel place. You can't cause no scenes in there. I'll stab you in the neck. You understand? This is my bagel place. You cannot come in here and manipulate people, shut your mouth, order what's on the menu. And don't worry about what's on the counter. It's got none to do with you. Well, what happened if you got bands from your bagel place? I go to another one. There's three other ones up there. But I like to pale juice because they keep it simple. Egg, egg and cheese, fucking egg tuna, egg salad, tuna or white fish on a bagel. That's a beautiful place for a guy like me. Quick. He won't say, you know, he's got good white fish. You don't say it like on the line to make me feel worse than I already fucking feel. Hey, Uncle Joey here, right? You need to cool down for the summer. Let in the cloud help you take the edge off. In the cloud is everything you need to celebrate and unwind. So the flavored gummies and zero calorie THC. So this huh? Huh? Huh? They also got premium vapes, fat pre rolls and high quality flour, THC cereal bite edibles, perfect for a day on a couch. Listen, if you want to see the devil, you got to go with some in the cloud, especially those little werewolves they got. They'll put you on a different planet. Plus you're eating everything in sight or in the cloud products illegal, federally legal THC. Everything sold is DEA certified and lab. That's the man. So if you're 21 older, go to in the cloud in the cloud dot CEO. Again, that's dot CEO, not dot com and use code church CH, you are CH for 30% off your first subscription order. That's in the cloud dot CEO code church for 30% off your 30% off ship routinely and discreetly to your door. Nobody knows nothing. Plus you have free gifts on qualifying order after you order, fill out the survey and say that Uncle Joey sent you the church. Enjoy responsibly and I want to thank in the cloud for always supporting the podcast. Have a great week. Interesting, dude. Yeah. I got it off my chest when I feel good. Jelly is such a specific did something happen with jelly. I just this is Jersey. What does that mean? This is Jersey. Wanna use jelly green cheese? If not, I'll peanut butter either peanut butter goes with jelly. That's another disinformation. Peanut butter goes with jelly. You don't want just a plain peanut butter toast. Fuck no. Put some jelly on that bitch. It makes sense to you. What do you know? It's just like a crazy rule. I have crazy rules. I love them as it keeps me saying it keeps me honest and it keeps the drama away. Sounds like you're adding drama. But what you hate. I eliminate the whole chit chat of the process. Too much chit chat in order of meal. That's it. When you go to prison, you don't even know the meal. You put your trade down to give you what you got. Same difference. All son you want to add. Well, does to feel is it lightly salted? Does it come from New Zealand? Who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck again? You're throwing questions to be cool. Don't hit me with that shit. Do that with your wife friends. Don't do that here. Just eat what's on the menu. Like a steak, like a prime rib. They got lots to tell you couldn't keep it at. You want to be a fucking idiot and order something completely out of realm. To make me feel bad. Like I don't know what I mean. Well, you didn't try the S card. Go listen. Go fuck yourself. Okay. You know, I don't need to. I'm 63. If I knew I wanted that, I would order it years ago. Wait until you just wake up when you're 60. And go today's a damn and eat broccoli. No, you're not. If you haven't eaten it before, you're not going to eat it now. So what makes you think any of that shit's going to change? And well, it doesn't. Why do we add so much drama to all those aspects I told you about driving two hours for a piece of pizza. We just add drama to our lives. This is New Jersey, this ain't California. You don't need to drive to these places to tell your fucking goofy friends. I went all the way up there to get a piece of pizza because you were taught it. You know how much things I could have done in three hours. What else are you going to do? Anything. Anything is better than being a fucking suck ass. This pizza right north. My house. I got two, three pizza places. I'm going to drive three hours looking for pizza. I got that little kind of looking for you know where you know where it is. Yeah, I got good pizza in my black. I got to be cool. Oh, you got to go to the Nungalos. You know, the weirder name, the more, you know, empty barrels make the most noise. So give that pizza like an Italian name and these suckers go for it. The angelos. Oh, you got to go down there. It's about 30 minutes away. The guy is great. Listen. The pizza by my own is just as good. I don't have to play now. I don't have to know the owner. I need to know nothing about him. Just give me two slices of pizza fucking coke. I don't want to know the history of your pizza place. You know what water you use. Have you heard of the new one in New York series? My friends talking about it all the time, but I got a little fungus. What's this one about? It's run by like two Michelin star chefs, but the pizzas are like 50, 60 bucks. Oh my god. Okay. So it's and you have to like wait. I haven't done it. You have to like wait in line. Like what has it opens, but it's supposed to be fantastic. Pizza. I'll take a room over there. They won't know what to do. All these white kids. You know, huh? Yeah. Do you have wine? Yeah. All that shit. That's all part of the specification of America plan. Oh, that is really $60 for a pizza pie. Yeah. That's supposed to be so we have Friday night. Well Friday night. It was even I went nuts. I had like three or four slices. and we fucking had a bulls eye was made and these guys smoked 53% weed. We were fucked up, Jack. Clean the pipe out. We ate some taffies, we had some fucking werewolves. We tore up two pieces, Cuban steak sandwiches. Nice. Fucking tore shit up that night. How many animals? Oh, it was endless. I woke up the next day. I smelled like some out of a fucking weed place. Edibles fucking weed. I did some mouse. I didn't crack up those mushrooms. But I ended up doing some mouth that night. I had like one of those fucking painkillers. The schmorphine. I had a 15 milligram morphine pill. I was ready to bite a motherfucking neck. Happy for the July. Happy for the July to you, man. Where you at this week? Baltimore. I'm the Thursday night. I'm at the Port Coma Club in Baltimore. It's going to be great. I take it's 120 bucks very excited. Well, I just did it. The club's great. What? Then I just did it at the Port Coma Club. Well, that's where you're at, wasn't it? Thursday night. What about Friday and Saturday? Wednesday night. I have a show in the city here. Friday, I'm doing a don't tell in Virginia. And then you go away to Virginia. I'm already going to be in Maryland. Okay. All right. So I'm headlining a don't tell. What about Sunday? You back at the club where they grabbed what Miss Pussies? Well, no, Saturday. Hopefully we have our friends wedding. Come on. Yeah. And then you're friend too. Oh, hey, Joe. Oh, that's right. Shit. Saturday night. So yes, we'll we'll drive back from that and try to make it to his wedding. That's the plan. And I've shows coming up in New York, St. Mark's July 30. It's going to be a fucking show. It's going to be a lot of fun. I like St. Mark's a lot. And then times to show that. 830. They get tickets. It's St. Mark's Common Club dot com. Me, I got nothing. I got the Brooklyn improv Wednesday night, which is tomorrow night. If you live in the area, stop by ticket to cheap. And it's a seven o'clock show. That means you're out in the city at 930 getting your dicks up. So I don't know what else to tell you. You don't want to tell them about Atlantic City? That's the seventh and eighth year already know about it. Okay. Now they got to act. But nobody knows what they're going to do until a week off. I don't blame them. Gotcha. If they come, they come up, they don't. What do you want from me? We'll try to get harder. That's it. You're good. Great. We're all good. Have a great week. Happy belated Fourth of July. And we'll be back next Tuesday. Tip top [MUSIC]