In Memory of Bald Bryan (Carolla Classics)

[MUSIC] Welcome to Cruel Classic, Senator Hoath's super fan, Giovanni. This is the podcast where we play the best moments highlights and fans select the clips from all 17ers The Adam Corolla Show. If you'd like to listen to the ad-free archives of The Adam Corolla Show, The Adam and Dr. Tru Show, as well as the newer podcast Feed It Out. Make sure to check out Adam Corolla's substack, AdamCorolla.substack.com. Sign up, get access, listen ad-free. And if you'd like to request a clip, please email us [email protected]. All right, let's get to the clips. We're continuing our remembrance of Brian Bishop, Paul Bryan, the baldest one, integral cast member of the show, founding cast member of the show on the majority of the episodes. He's on over 3,000. There's so many moments that he's used from. Just trying to give a chronological representation of his contributions throughout the years, but forever be missed. Coming first today, we have Adam Corolla Show 735, featuring Dr. Bruce Alson-Rosen and Brian Bishop. This one's from January of 2012. Oh, you guys, please imagine being me for just one second. Thank you. I am going to leave for Laguna Seca, which is up north, which is about a five, five and a half hour drive from where I live. And I'm racing that day, all day on Thursday. And I got to get a full day in over there. So we're going to need, when I say we, I mean, Matt and Jeff, we're going to need to leave my house on Thursday at like, um, before 6am. And, um, which is perfect because I have a radio tour lined up to promote Rich Man, Poor Man, my e-book on that morning. And it's from 6am to 8am. So I say, fuck it. Let's, let's leave at 5.55. I'll be, I'm getting up anyway. I'll be on the road. And I'll do this thing from 5.55 or 6 o'clock till 8am. So everyone meets over my house. It's still dark outside. Everyone takes the equipment, the cameras and all that shit. We all pile it into my car. And we all head out up the 101 at 6am. And at 6am, I call in the number. It's like this. It's like a nine, ten-digit number that you call in. That is the number of the operator of the company that rolls these things. They set up a roster and they go, they print it out. And they usually go east to west in the time zone. And they give you like 23 stations you're going to be talking to. And they start at 6am. And it goes all the way down to whatever, whatever you're done. And so at 6am, I call into the chick. Now, I get a piece of paper that says, here's the chick's number. And her name is A-L-I-S-Y-N. Allison. Yes. That's what I would think. That's what you would think, except for your analysis. Right. Who probably knows some alternative spellings. Yeah. I don't know any Allison's with a Y. I only know the ones with a no. You're a no, aren't you? I'm a no. Do you know any Ys? I know of a Y. You heard tale of a Y. Yes, I have. And I'm not in favor of it. Allison. Oftentimes the Y will be where the I is. Yeah. But this is some newfangled other thing. Well, right. And first off, their names that traditionally are spelled three different ways. Like Kathy with a K or with a C or something like that. A Brian with a Y or an I or whatever it is. All right. But Allison to me was never really up. It wasn't up for debate. Right. I just knew the old school Allison. It's an old name. And there's just one way to go. But evidently, there's not. But when you're looking at the piece of paper with no last name that just has the I-A-L-I-S-Y-N. And you understand we're living in a society where everyone has a fucked up name. There's a lot of your Michael's and stuff like that. You don't know anyone's name anymore because of a ton of different ethnicities. And just a ton of different assholes who like to spell their name just a little bit different and pronounce it just a little bit different. So when I'm looking at this piece of paper, I don't know if it's Allison or Allison or Allison. I don't know where anyone's from anymore. You got to realize into an urban station. Well, you live in the United States. People are from fucking Pakistan here and shit. Like, you don't know where people are from. I mean, you meet people from all over the place. I mean, you ever dial a wrong number and have someone pick up the phone? It's a little time to be quiet. This is Kelsey Grammer. You know what I mean? Like, you don't get that on the other side. You get crazy accent, right? So I don't know what is. So I call the number. And I get the, of course, because it has to be confusing and it has to be at 6 a.m. I get the chick who picks up the phone. Hello, you know, so and so radio network, whatever. And I said, is, is Alice, Allison, Allison, Allison? Of course, there's no last name. So we could, because that would make, that would be too difficult to put the last name on the fucking piece of paper. So I'm like, is Allison, Allison and Allison in, Allison? And of course, because they're them, no, we don't, there's nobody, you know, there's nobody, they can't do the math of, yes, there is a company, Allison. They're spelled their name like a nut job. I wonder why do people keep calling here for Allison? Right. I'm sure this is not the first time. So I said, no, Allison, Allison, Allison, Allison, Allison, Allison. And she's like, now, nobody by, nobody by the, again, they could never go. Well, there's an Allison. Right. They'd never do that. They're sitting across the way from the staring at me. Never do that. I didn't forget to call. Never do that. So they go, now, now, now, and I'm like, well, this is the number they told me to call it. You guys do the radio, you do the radio rolling things. You do, you set up the radio interviews. Yep, that's what we do. And there's no Allison, Allison, Allison? Wow. No, no, there's not, no, there's not. So I said, A-L-I-S-Y-N, no. Well, the reason she said no at that point is because she was on what I, what I, what I like to refer to is the no role that we have in this, in this fucking horrible society. We've probably like, once you get three rows, nose on your belly, you're on a fucking roll, man. You're, you're fucking. Oh, you can, you're like synatra up the line behind you. Luck be a lady tonight. You know, score saces filming the dice. She's flying into her head. No rolling. Oh, I'm hot. Guys cheering around her. No roll. No roll. No roll. No roll. Not paying attention. Yeah, at that point, I've got three good nose under my belt. I'm going for fucking four, man. Right. So I'm like, A-L-I-S-Y-N. Nope. Okay. All right. Hang up the phone. Now I'm just driving along. It's like 608 in the morning. And I'm like, it's fucking dark outside. I'm tired. I'm fucking, went to bed late last night. I packed all my fucking race gear and everything. It got all wet and got all mild doing. And fucked up like I told you before. And we're driving along and I'm like, all right. So what do I got? Two hours of shows lined up for me to talk to. I got this phone number. I'm getting through to the place that does it. But I can't find the chip whose contact name. God forbid you put a last name on there. So we could cut through this. Yeah, I'm on my no roll, baby. No be a lady. Yeah, I'm going. Keep it going. No, no. Yeah. I know the way you treat it, other guys you've been with. No. I'll be a lady with me. No. It's not crying. It's a big bug. It's gone. No. No. A lady doesn't leave her escort. No. It isn't fair. No. I want to know your percentages of the fourth no versus the first no. The first no is a coin toss. The fourth no is $910. Like, hey, can I fill my mouth with cougarons, spit them in your underpants and then suck you off? No. No. No. I don't think so. Not today. Not on my wife. No. No. No. I would like to pay for your kids' college. Can I do that? That'd be okay. I could pay for their, I'd like to pay them full fare to go to college. Yes, you're triplets. I'd like to pay for them. No. No. Can't do that. Not going to happen. I've got to suck of money here. No. Not going to drop off somewhere. I'd like to stretch you so that you were a two inches taller and I'd like to move ten years from your age. Can I do that? No. No. No. Not on the fourth one. No. So I called back and I said, hey, listen. That's me again. A-L-I-S-Y-N. Is there a person there with that spelling of their name? And she was like, oh, yeah. Of course. Because they're giving it a break. I broke up the nose. Again, I always want to know whether it's trying to get on a lot or calling the person up. Do you think I'm just some maniac who gets up at 5.45 in the morning and calls places that tells them I have a radio tour to do and then comes up with names that are sort of like co-workers and then keeps asking, right, that's how I got my fucking Lamborghini. That's how I got all my cars as I have massed a fucking fortune by just setting my alarm and wasting my time, mispronouncing fucking idiot's names in the morning. So then I called back and I had, and by the way, you know when you take the dumbest person and really this is what a lot of these businesses do. She had that kind of. of black-headed kind of, she was born here, but her parents were born in Mexico kind of thing. And she had that fucking thing where you take the dumbest person, you take the dumbest person that works for your 500 person company and you make them the tip of the spear, like that's the person who picked up the boat. Nobody gets past me to get to the boss or get to anything, they all have to get past this fucking lump head. So I called up and then I spell it out. I said, "A-L-I-S-Y-N," and she goes, "Oh, yeah, Allison, let me ring her desk." And then she rings the desk, but of course, Allison's not at the desk. But now I'm not so sure, is it Allison still? Do you have another Allison? Is there an Allison that spells their name normally? Again, why would you include a last name in this mix of 23 fucking radio stations I have to call? So that's insane. So, all right, not gonna happen, I call back again, she puts me through to the desk again, and then I notice at the bottom of the page there's like an emergency number. So I call that number, and that's Allison's, that's her cell phone. And she picks up the phone, and I said, "Yeah, I called the other number, and it was, and I went over the number, now I have to go over, now I'm fucking have to go over the number with her, and the last digit should have been a nine, but it was a seven, because who the fuck can remember all these digits these days?" So of course, the number, I call it was one digit off, but it was the last digit, and still got you through to the company, but the wrong desk, right? So the last digit off made for wild confusion, because first digit off means you're not talking to anybody. You just get some crazy accent, doesn't know what the fuck you're talking about. Last digit means confusion, like, yeah, this is the company, but I don't know what you're talking about. So I got Allison on her cell phone, and I said, "Yeah, I got hold of the desk, and she kept ringing your desk, and then of course she gave the, well, she probably should have just called me." Of course, of course, that's the person to front desk hoping I'll just have a fucking heart attack, and just go, "This whole thing of, why do you want me to go away so badly? What are you doing?" Are you in the middle of a fucking online connect-four tournament, and I've just fucking rang your phone, and you're like, right in the middle of a move, like, what is going on at that desk? Who's eating your pussy, bitch? What's going on? That you can't fucking try to help. Like, huh, you want to talk to someone named Allison. Let me get her cell phone out. I mean, evidently, at six in the morning, you're doing a radio, we do radio tours here. It's not the kind of thing where I'm just fucking sitting at a pizza parlor, and you're making a prank phone call or something. Aren't they hired, like, didn't someone hire them to do this? Yes, but the person at the desk, it's $8 an hour, and her dream is for the phone never to ring. And then if the phone does ring, she's got to do whatever, whatever small lateral move she can do just to get you to get the fucking go away. Just get you to go away. That's her, her greatest goal in life is to get you to go away and not call back, not to get you hooked up with the 23 radio stations you're supposed to talk to, or Allison, just to get you to go away. And if she can do it on a technicality, that's fine, she's going to ring Allison's desk, even though we all know Allison is not sitting at her desk at 6 a.m. But that's all right. I'll ring her desk, because that way I can say I rang your desk, and it's basically, I all ring her desk means fuck off in about 18 seconds. So she gave the, of course, the thing to me, which is, well, why didn't she call me? She should have called, and I was like, because everyone's fucking horrible at their job. They're horrible at their job. And nobody gets fired, no one gets yelled at. And she did give a little, I'm going to talk to her, because I'm like, yeah, fucking yell at her. Would you? And just for the next fucking poor Shlub, who's probably just given the fucking wrong phone number. Anyway, I didn't know where to begin with the Allison and the Allison. And I just realized, look, I said it two hundred and fucking 50 times. And you're sending me an email, and the person's name is Allison, just write it as Allison. It has to be a word. It has to be a fucking word. That's the one line to all this. This all could have been avoided, if they're just, this is not for, I'm not printing up jerseys. This is not for her. This is for me. I just want to ask. And then you know, you know, the answer you're going to get, that's how she spells it. Yeah, I know. I know how she spells it. What did you give Allison any shit for the way she spells her name? Which has someone who gets shipped for the way I spell my name. It's never the person's fault is their parents fault. At that point, we were 18 minutes into the two hour thing. And then number two came around, which is, I did my first, I did my first radio call. And all we did was talk about celebrity apprentice. And then in between calls, I said to Allison, I'm plugging my ebook, Rich Man Poor Man. And she said, I didn't, I don't have anything on that. Oh, and I was like, all right, I want to grab the wheel out of Matt's hand and just steering on coming back. But all I ever said to Matt and Jeff the whole time, I go, you want this? Is this what you want? Do you want to get rich? Because this will be your life. You're going to fucking 6 a.m. talking to Allison about nothing. This is what you want. Don't ever. I say to fucking my sister, Jay, every ten sex don't ever make a fucking penny. Don't ever do it. Punished. You'll be fucking ritualistically punished every second. I said to Jeff and Matt, this is what you want. This is what you want, right? She never had no idea what I was talking about. The whole idea was I was supposed to do a promotional tour for the ebook, Rich Man Poor Man. Allison had no idea what I was talking about, had no information what I was talking about, had already forwarded all the information days before to all the radio stations about celebrity apprentice, which is in a month or more. And I don't care about it. And I already did that promotional tour last Friday. I just want to fucking kill. I should be excited. Oh, thank God we stuffed at the Madonna in for some breakfast too. Welcome to my goddamn world, everybody. And I know everyone thinks I'm retarded. But they go, "Oh, Allison, but I'm telling you in a world where everyone has a fucked up name and you're looking at it." It doesn't mean I, Allison to me, I've only seen it spelled one way. And that's, and wait, how do you spell it? A-L-B-Q. I've never seen the Y in front of the, the N on the Allison. Yeah. That's me. And, and again, the other, there's a bunch of little things that always drive me nuts. Like, it tells me, like, it says 9 a.m., and then it says Eastern time. It's like, I was just, just put 6 a.m. Put my time, put the person's name the way they, the way I would read it, the way it would be read, the way it would be pronounced by normal fucking Americans if they're trying to reach the person on the phone, not making a card out to them, I just want to get them on the phone. And then, of course, the little thing about having the right phone number being, it's always a plus, always a plus. So, anyway, that's, that's me. That's, that was mine. All right. What do you got? What do you got, Dr. Bruce? You got something? Something. No, I mean, yeah. I have a wealth of information. Mm-hmm. Well, where should we start? Ace Broadcasting presents Health Watch with Dr. Spaz. Hey, guys in the other room, can you go look at, I think they had the Miss America pageant on, like, Friday? I just flipped it on. I just flipped on Miss America just for a second. And they had, they were doing the, they were doing the thing where they tell them where they're from. And like, ah, Alabama, home of the Crimson Tat, you know, they do that thing. I swear to God that one chick was from like North Carolina or something. She said like, we invented miniature golf. And the next chick was, I swear to God, I just turned on for 10 seconds. I just turned the TV on. It was on that show. She's like, hi, I'm from North Carolina, home of miniature golf, like the invented miniature golf. And then the next, and the ultimate, what, don't be a one-upper, the next chick who got up there was from, I don't, you know, Florida, Cape Canaveral or something. And it was, we put a man on the moon, like, it was like literally one from, we invented miniature golf to, we put a man on the moon. Don't be one-up. I never see all of this when there wasn't one in between. There was not one in between miniature golf, and we put a man on the moon, which is affected your life more. Well, try to find it. Thank you about that. Hello, and welcome to Pluto foe. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. We're all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long. Catch anchor man, the legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix trilogy. Welcome to the real world. Mean girls. Side up. Trey Tannin. I'm the key in the world. And so much more. For showtime. Press. Nothing. They're free. 24/7. That is so effects. On Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never. That's Adam Corolla show 735. Coming up next, we have Adam Corolla show 1431 featuring David Cho, Allison Rosen and Brian Adam's guest tonight, artist David Cho, plus Allison Rosen on news, and Paul Bryan on Sound Effects. And now, still hungover from his annual Canadian Thanksgiving vendor, Adam Corolla. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on, mandate, get it on. Thank you guys so much for joining us. Thanks for spreading the good word, man. Thanks for doing all the things you've done over the last few years that enable us to continue doing this. Let's say the number one thing is just getting the word out, sharing it with the friend. I don't know if you guys have experienced this. I'm sure you have, but I was doing catch a contract or last week, that part maybe you didn't, but standing in the parking lot of a Starbucks and Huntington Beach, and a guy just pulled up in his car and said, "Hey, I'm listening. Listen to you right now." Get that a lot. I do that once in a while. I was in, no, Bay City is the great Italian deli, as the sandwiches in Santa Monica. I went in line there, you waited to dead, the counter, like a normal deli, right there for the counter, and a guy looks at me and he looks again, he's had headphones in, holds up his phone, just shows Adam Crowley shows. Listen right now. Nice, Allison Rosen. I feel like I haven't had that one exactly. At Bay City. No. Getting a son. Other sandwich joints. Yeah, I was at, I was at Pramanties. Okay, Pramanties. Pramanties. Well, I was at Pramanties, it's a different one. It's confusing when you had the wrong one. But shut up. Have you ever had the person come up who does the, I'm a fan? Well, not like they were, I've had the mid-listen person all the time, or a few times, but I've had the person that held up their phone and went, I have, I have them all on the phone. Not running to that person? I feel like, I feel like I have. That was not jumping out to me. What I have is I'll get out of my car and there'll be someone standing there who saw me pull into the law and just had to wait to say hi. I'm like, fuck, what did I do? That's actually motivated. Yeah, that's, I don't have to do it this show. I'm late at night under a well lit sign. That's right. All right, and good day, Bald Bryan. Hey, hey, hey. Normally, I take the top drops with the hashtag top drop on Twitter, but that's from a listener named Josh, who emailed me a month ago, exactly today. And was like, my girlfriend, Teresa, is going, she just got diagnosed with the brain tumor, she's going for surgery tomorrow. And he emailed me yesterday with an update. A lot of times people update me and they're just, here's what happens. And he said she had a nine hour surgery. They had 95% of the tumor. And recovery's been slow. She was left side of her body was paralyzed, but they expected to come back and she's working hard and got a lot of inspiration from the book and she loves the show and everything. And her favorite drop is this. Hey, hey, hey. So that's her top drop today. So nice you. So we're emailed back and said, please lose this email. We were talking last week about getting an update from you, medically, for those who may be newer listeners. Why don't you give the whole sort of thumbnail sketch? - Yeah, it's chapter three in the book. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor 2009, early 2009. - Wait, you wrote a book? - I did. It was a mildly successful book. And it's about the first year with the brain tumor and I've been just celebrated five years of this in my diagnosis, which is a big year in the cancer community. - Five is the big one. - Five is if you're past five years, it's a good sign. It's a really solid thing. Allison probably knows from your history, not yourself, but people you know. - Yes, well, the whole thing, my understanding of cancer is the whole thing is just get as much time as you can because with all the research and everything, the longer you stay alive, the longer you can stay alive. - And I was initially given six months to a year, literally the first doctor I saw, so it was looking pretty bleak at the time. And just powered through, man, just, you know, I'd love to be fortunate. - So when is your next MRI or whatever procedure you're going to get? - I get MRIs every three months. I just had one last month and it looks great. The doctor compares it to, you know, the last MRI, to a year ago's MRI, to four year ago MRI. And it looks great. You know, tumor hasn't moved in a couple of years. It's the same size, which is a victory in the cancer world. And I get this every three months, just to sort of check up and see how I'm doing. And I get-- - Well, it's inoperable. So if it starts growing, that's big trouble. - Yes. - So the idea is to keep it from not growing. - Correct. If they can keep it at bay, keep it literally the same size forever, I'll live hopefully for many, many years. I'm not gonna would. - Right. - You know what, something you can live with if it doesn't move. - Right, and enhancement moving, why mainly do you think? - I think the main reason is because of the drug, they put me on a vast, and you know, some people respond to it really well. Some people respond to it mildly well. And some people don't respond to it at all. And I happen to fall in the first group that responds to it really well. And they put me on it about a, no, about six months after I was diagnosed. When I was doing, you remember how bad I was doing? I was coming here on a walker and you know, the slur in my words pretty bad, old listeners of the podcast will know. 'Cause my muscles in my tongue and my lips are going numb. I was worse than it is now. - Yeah, I'm Matt and Dawson Alson want to cut you loose. But I said, come on, give the kid a break. - That's really nice of you. - And whoever else is in the building. - Stand up, okay. - Cameron's in high school, but he sent me an email saying, "I know you don't know me." - But I've got to cut the trunk I lose. - On your show. - He's holding me back, but I said no. But anyway. - It's really nice of you. - Go ahead. - I was put on this drug that really turned the corner for me. I mean, a lot of other things I think as well, but this is, you know, did at least half the work. - And this was an experimental drug that was for something else, but turned out to be effective in this world. Because the old school guys like Drew and Bruce said, they don't have anything for those kind of tumors. And if you can't operate on them and they're growing, there's really not much you can do. - And at the time, they were right. Because this was a new drug, you're right. It wasn't experimental, but it had just been approved within a month or so of me getting diagnosed. So it was only on the market for a couple months when I was put on it. So it was a real like, let's hope this works 'cause nothing else works so far. - If you had gone to a different doctor, would your outcome be different, do you think? - It's a really good question. I think it would have because my doctor is aggressive, but not reckless. Like I feel like he's a, as I mentioned in the book, I liked him because he was a, not a can do guy, but he was a, this can be done. And here's how we're gonna try to do it. You know, when you, and anything, and contracting, and auto-mechanics, all you want is someone to say an healthcare, your doctor's, all you want is someone to say, we can do this and here's how we can do it. It's not for sure gonna get done, but if it's gonna get done, this is how it's gonna get done. - I don't know why more people don't adopt that versus the manage everyone's expectations. Like, oh, you know, don't, you know. I mean, this is literally life or death, but there's attorneys, there's contractors, there's ever mechanics. Like you said, there's everyone you deal with in life. And it's so, you feel so much better when they go, well, your transmission is shot, but you know what, I've seen worse. We'll take care of it. - You can do this. - It won't be free, but it's gonna be done. And we'll be done right. Like just whatever, if it's your kitchen or a lawsuit or your brain or whatever it is, it's just nice to have, I feel like there's so many people whose default setting is manage expectations. So we don't build them up and then turns out, we can't fix it or we lose or whatever it is. So they give you the, I've had it. I had my last movie, the guy who wrapped it, just the first thing out of the gate was, you got a tweener, it's a tweener. Like, it's a don't expect too much. And don't worry, he didn't deliver, but it's weird. - It's weird how far it goes and how we're so all insanely attracted to the person that says, wow, this is great. I'm gonna make this happen. Even if they don't make it happen, I still think we're much more attracted to that person, as long as the perception wasn't as they tried. Like they gave it a, they did what they could do. They felt great about it. And if it didn't work out, it's because of the others, not themselves. And it's why I always feel like, first off, I feel like those guys get laid 10 times more. Like you find the guy that sort of looks like Jack Black, but it's buried, mostly all the time. Those are those guys who do that. We're all male and female, just like insanely attracted to the people go, we're gonna take care of this, we're gonna do it. - I select my doctor's dick. - Yeah, that's what I'm saying. - That's what I'm saying. - It's just a fight after you say my life. - I'm saying, I don't know why there's, I know everything is managed expectation 'cause you're gonna get sued. Like if you tell somebody you don't where I am, I'm gonna handle this and you don't handle it. Now there's just a lawsuit. Sorry everyone, everyone's first, everyone's first blush, your first mode is just that kind of, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, keep your fingers crossed, but don't, don't plan on anything. Don't, don't start catching up checks yet. - A weird thing dealing with healthcare, and this would more be a question, I think, for Brian's loved one. But in those touch-and-go moments, what you're really wondering is, is the person gonna make it and they somehow make you feel like that's a completely inappropriate question when how could you have any other, I mean, you have a million, right, it's the question, but they won't ever answer that. They'll just be like, we're, you know, taking, we're doing it step by step, taking it one day at a time, doing everything we can. And it's just weird how you begin to feel so disenfranchised from even having a right to know things that you would naturally wonder about. - What would be the great harm really, much like you do with kids and Christmas and their pets and blah, blah, blah, what would be the great harm in saying to the family, like, we're optimistic. You know, don't go home and sob yourself to sleep, you know. We feel like we can beat this one. We're feeling good about it, you know. And then six months later, you get the phone call that goes, you know, come in and make your peace 'cause he's gone. All right, but at least you had that six months of feeling optimistic. versus the hand wringing and the crying and the sleep. Yeah. And look, either way, you have a dead son or dead whomever your relationship is. One, at least you cobbled together six months of hopefulness. I don't feel like I know people say it's like, well, I don't want to build the person up only to have them disappointed. I don't feel like that way. I went six months of agony and then then they bury the kid. There's many ways to say the same thing you could say. They could have said to me, well, you know, only one patient out of five lives past three years. That's one way to say it and that would have been accurate. Another way to say it is, I've seen, I've seen people do very well. We had patients who have done very well at this. There's a fighting chance. There's ways of saying the same thing in many very different ways. I agree and I just feel like as a society, we need a little tune up on the EQ part of life, you know, where the way you express these things to people, the quotient or whatever it is. Yeah, it's the part where people come up to you and go, you know, love the podcast, not as much as the old radio show, but it's still like the, you know, I get people. Yeah. That part of life. I didn't like you when you started, but I've really come around. Thank you. Yeah. And even that's not even as bad as a lot of it can get. Yeah. That's a rosy version. Yeah. Yeah. But people need that, right? I agree. Okay. But to finish answering your question, you know, when I was first put on this newer drug called a vast and it was, I was getting infusions, you know, IV infusions in once every two weeks. It was it was a, let's get it in. Passion for it. That's right. It was very tolerable actually. No, of course not. I want to fast in it. It's the last substance known to man. There's not. They'll get that passion for it. Another fucking, it's all on the top of the fucking list. Big passion. Right on the top of that fucking dry race board. It's got. It's permeated to fucking yogurt and hand soap and all the things I used to medicine. They're in the dental world. I used to make fun of. I have important thoughts to hold that. Yeah. Yeah. All my life and stuff. When I used to do my 25 minutes on passion fruit iced tea back in 1999, I would say, why do we want passion fruit iced tea? There's no passion fruit soap. There's no passion fruit yogurt. There's no passion fruit ice cream. There's no passion fruit anything. Why the fuck do we want? Who comes in with a craving for passion fruit? Because no one's ever tasted passion fruit and you blink your eyes and someone tweets me every day. It's literally in doggy treats and shampoo and in contact lenses. Like it's fucking every, it's in everything now. Didn't exist 10 years ago when all the examples, yes, all the examples of the stuff I used to say it's not in like yogurt. It's how it's self permeated. What does anyone want that in their yogurt? Does that just taste like red and sweet? Yeah. Just generically sugary. Semitriol. All right. When we get lemon instead or some flavor that you could certify. Yeah. Yeah. She got to identify. All right. So anyway, so I started getting the not passion fruit of acid and the original flavor. Every two weeks and I got via IV, you know, infusion and I started doing well or had responding to the treatment and they eventually dropped me down to once a month and then they eventually dropped me down to once every six weeks. And I'm now getting every once every eight weeks, which is great news because the more time you put between your infusions, the better you're doing frankly. And I'm tolerating it really well. I'm very fortunate in that respect. I'm very aware of how lucky I am that I'm one of these people who responds to it well. I tolerate it well. And there's even talk they're like, oh, soon we're going to get you down to every six months, which would be huge. Would they even have this treatment five years, not a go, but five years before you received it? Oh, no. They wouldn't have had it five months before I was diagnosed. I mean, it was really around the time I was diagnosed that it was cleared for market. I may have been an experimental, you know, trial study, but that's, that's, you know, you could have been the placebo group. So, you know, that's not a treatment. Yeah. All right. But there's a, you know, the doctor, like bringing it back to the doctor with a good attitude. I love my doctor because every time every other, every third time I go in, I'm like, Hey, Doc, what's, uh, what's new out there in the world of brain tumor treatment? What are we looking at? What's on my horizon? He's like, Oh, man, there's so much good stuff. We're doing a trial now, which you might be a good candidate for because this is a new thing where we do this. And it's, you know, it's, it's, it's, you know, they take this out and they do this. And it's all sorts of medical stuff. But he's like, there are lots of cool stuff. And it just gives you hope for the future. You know, it's just a very cool thing to hear your doctor say is that he's hopeful. Yes. That's awesome. I, uh, look, I want that out of the doctor. I want it out of the fucking gardener. Just like just everybody goes, you know, take care of that done and done. It's nice. I know it's all orders say, all right. I think we have a plan. That's how we can just, how we're going to try and do that. Yeah. All right. Well, if you'd like to, uh, fuck big pharma, by the way, that's a part that's a hell of a damn talk about. Yes. Yes. All right. Uh, us, uh, Portland and Seattle doing some, uh, live shows coming up. You can go online and, uh, check out when we're coming to a town near you. Me doing some stand-up in Sacramento. You can go online. Once again, amcroll.com and you can go to crawl the drinks. Get the three pack, man. The red, what red, red white and, uh, Rose, good for, uh, the tailgate, the party's football season, change it up this year. Shipping included now. So, uh, take care of that. Get the three pack. And we've got the new twist top and all the good stuff. So, uh, let's see. We got a couple of phone calls. Our guests will be here soon enough. Let's see. It's a description on a podcast. All right. That's a good question at the top. Matt. Let's see. Matt 45. St. Louis. What's going on, Matt? How much are you guys doing? Good. Hey, a ball can graph on five years, man. I'm nine years in and that's great to hear. I get so many people would be there at live shows or email or tweeting or whatever saying, hey, I've gone through the same thing where I'm about to go through this. Thanks for telling your story. So, he's in prison for spousal abuse. That's what I, that's what I meant. He didn't. I thought you thought he was the driver of Kansas. Oh, why do you? What are you talking about? You got to read the screen. Good for you, Matt. All right. Well, nine years in, dude. Which, what, what cancer? Oh, it's a particular cycle. Wow. I saw they removed one, huh? They did. They did. They offered me a freebie prosthetic. I declined. It's one to hang like a bowling ball. Yeah. The, uh, yeah, the new Nicole, the ham for dogs. Fondler like that one. Oh, Molly's a girl. Yeah. Hey, I want to ask you, you know, you're, you're a guy that does the math every day. You just lay the patent troll across your big chunk of change. You know, you've got the contents of sucking a nun on the net sparse podcast goes, how come you're not doing the math and monetizing your podcast? You know, you have legions of fans out there that would, if you said, you know, PayPal's not optional. Now you have to give me 10 bucks a month. You know, I think you'd have a lot. You could blow away your ad revenues. You could get off the road. I know it's gone through your head. How come you haven't done it? Well, honestly, I come from a background in radio and I've always just wanted, I've always just thought in terms of following the radio format, which is build an audience and sell commercial space. But I have thought about, you know, and I'm, you know, I have thought about some sort of premium subscription thing or something like that. And I've been thinking about it a little bit. I don't think it would be about making this show a subscription, but it might be about some additional archives or something. Well, maybe let's say I was thinking about, and you guys can tweet me and tell me, but I've been really thinking a lot about motivational stuff and about how people sort of dig motivational stuff and also how there's a sort of tangible. There's almost a straight line you can draw through motivational stuff like this shows entertaining and maybe once a while motivational. But good pieces of information with people who are good at what they do and good in business and so on and so forth can translate into you doing quite well, making more money and whatever it is you're doing. Thus you could justify six bucks a month subscription to something that theoretically made you 100 bucks a month or whatever it is. Right. So I sort of been thinking about doing some sort of motivational thing that was a sort of subscription thing that didn't include this. So basically like if you want to do this, you can do this. This will be free. But if you'd like to subscribe to that, we'll do that. I've been given it some thought, but really what's been going on has been so busy and the catch a contractor stuff and everything like that. I'm just about wrapped up with that and when when and these two movies and you know you're doing these ADR sessions and it's like you're looking at all this post stuff. It's crazy what they do in post now and how much is involved. It's everything from your logo needs to be illustrated to we got the picture of Cranston, but we got to get the picture of your kids and slug them together and you got to look at the opening credits and it's just it really doing a movie sort of never ends in that intelligence. But when it's going, it's ongoing. It's a whole bunch of pre and then a whole bunch of shooting and then the post just turns into its own animal as well. The West City promotional. And it's like, oh, we're trying to get the Newman dock into Sundance. You got to get it on Blu-ray and then you send them And just when you finish one part, the next part opens up. There's no definitive end in beginning to parts. Right. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. You've got to go scarf shopping with Jules Dash. So, Matt, we'll put it out to the Twitter sphere, see what people think, and yeah, probably do something of that nature that's like a little bit of a premium subscription. Matt, and I agree with you, Matt. I think the risk you do off the top of your head during the daily podcast versus if you went into the booth and tried to think of something motivational and charged for that. I think everyone would prefer the daily stuff, especially when you bounce it up off Allison and bald. You know, I just think, you know, how many downloads did you get last month, you know, a million, something like that, maybe? Yeah, I don't know. No, I mean, this wouldn't be go into the booth and record a, you know, read motivational book out loud. This would be a one-on-one, maybe a couple times a week with guys that were like industry guys. And not successful people, not like guys. Yeah, right. You have a chief star. Losers and tumors and stuff like that. Yeah. Think booey's not anchors. What if you want to do an episode about losers and tumors? Well, then we'd have you guys. I do that. Yeah. And you guys could pop up. No, but you know, like finding like like Tony Robbins. Yeah, finding a guy or a girl or somebody who started a, anyone named Tony, someone who started a business and just kind of going through it with them and finding out how they did it or whatever, whatever it was. I haven't really thought it out too much, but I thought, I've always thought maybe something in the, not this show, this show will be free, but they sort of premium subscription. If you want some more, whatever. And I thought motivation would be the theme, not versus comedy jokes and news, whatever's going on. That feels like a daily show. This would be something that would be different. This show is like that Bible, the Gideon's giveaway, you know, yeah, something nice is what I'm saying. Yeah. Here's your title. Get off your ace. Mmm. I like that. motivational. I'm up with, uh, grab a knee. Yeah. Well, I guess if you're not going to go up, get off your ace. But I don't, I don't know yet. I just, I, as I get older and as I, as I, as I raise my kids, I start thinking more about motivation and or just what, how do you get, whomever to do, whatever, whether it's macro, or micro, like how is that? That's all you really do when you have kids, you just go, how do I get you? To do this without you hating me and without you hating what it is, I'm asking you to do. Have you figured it out? No. Nobody's figured it out. But for six bucks a month, we could try it. Well, don't get sick of that. He's doing what you're doing, man. We love it. Thanks, Matt. All right. Let's see. Don't, I don't know what that is. Pink Floyd. All right. That's a good question. Let's see. Somebody wants to know what I think about Pink Floyd. Hey, Michael. Adam, it's a pleasure to hear you in your voice, man. It's great to speak to you, Mike. Thank you, sir. Alice involved. Great to hear from you guys too. Hey. Hey. I've heard you can talk about musicians, I've heard you talk about, you know, who's up there on the pedestal, but I haven't heard you talk about Pink Floyd. I'm just wondering, do you, I mean, where are they in the track of your mixed tape of light? Well, they're, they're not on it. My problem with Pink Floyd while I appreciate them as artists, I am a little bit, I'm a bit of a lightweight and I like a hook. I like a song with a hook. I don't care if it's eight minutes long, I just need a little hook to it, a little pop hook. Pink Floyd's not that band when I was in high school or in the ninth grade, I think that the wall came out and everyone made up his pink and a big deal about it and everything. And I've always liked, like, comfortably numb, but I never got the, I just, I, I wait, first off, they sing money, right? Yeah. I hate that song. God do I hate that song. That song is maybe the only part of me. That was me. Sheed Lynette Angry, put the Pink Floyd song money on all songs about money suck, rush big money sucks. All money. It's a really good money song. Oh, sure, it's hard for the money. That's okay. Yeah, even that'll grind you down eventually. That's probably the only part of the movie, print the legend that I didn't like when they were doing the, like, how they raised all the Kickstarter money and they played this song. It's like, he played this song, huh? It's about money. It's a sequence about money. Yeah. It's a little on the nose. Yeah. It's a finger pop in music. I want something that's got a little drive to it, you know. Focus, focus by focus. Yeah. Something that's got some yodeling in the groove. You're a yodler. You're a yodler. So it's like, employed for me. So he's been that band, right? I've went, wow. Those guys are really interesting artists. What's next? Pink Floyd makes me feel cold and sad. Yeah. That's the plan. That's the plan. It seems to be the plan. I never got all the sort of weird pigs and stuff and they, you know, how are we going to feed these kids with putting without you have to eat your meat without you putting it on? It's like, oh, right. This weird scary English people yelling stuff at us, you know. And look, you take someone, now, weird, scary in English, well, you have Jethro Tull, but Jethro Tull songs moved like they, they, they, they, they moved along. The, the Pink Floyd stuff, seem to be stuff that, if, if you're rolling on some mushrooms, you could really just sit back and listen to it. It's actually Brian's right without knowing it and that it's more, it is more film score music than sit, than road trip music. Right. Right. I mean, dark side of the moon, basically, just, if you have to listen to the entire album there, just to kind of, and it does get you into it, yeah, it's just kind of like a score and you, it kind of follow the sort of like a flow. All right. But you know, there's my feeling. I don't want to go to a restaurant or someone says you have to eat everything on the menu, in order to enjoy it and understand it. I'm like, how about I just get some mac and cheese? Well, that's not going to be good. Not on its own. But if you order everything on the menu, then it'll make sense. And if you eat it while watching the beginning of Wizard of Oz. Right. Then it'll make sense. It'll line up perfectly. And my thing is like, I don't know. Just give me something I can enjoy, I'll a cart. Pink Floyd's like a band or like a football team that has like some good plays, but then they'll have like a bunch of holding penalties in between all those plays and they can't get a drive together. Well, I was a good play on a nice, committed holding. I think they're good. If you're in the right state, like if you're in the right stage of life, right, if you're high enough or angry enough or disenfranchised enough or whatever enough, I actually have the same feeling about Radiohead that I have about Pink Floyd, which is that I recognize how good they are, but the feeling inside is one of just cold, melancholy sadness that I don't want to feel. Right. Right. Yeah. And again, good, good for a movie, but not to sit around listening to. Two of us. Yes. All right. But, but we can agree. Like, I do, you know, I always want to make sure that people understand this. I look at Yoko as a complete waste. I don't look at the Pink Floyd as that at all. I look at them as genuine artists who mastered their musicians, their instruments and have gobs of talent that I'm not interested in. But let's not lump them in with the fucking hacks. Do you know what I'm saying? Yes. By any stretch of magic. And people do that. Oh, not your cup of tea. Yeah. I think that's fine. Like, it's almost like seeing a guy as a great athlete in a sport that you just doesn't interest you, but you really, you can appreciate how good that person might be at that sport or whatever architecture, painting, whatever you just go, that person is a very talented person. That's not my bag. Or like how you might not be sexually attracted to Annie Lennox, but you think she should breed anyway because of her bone structure. Yes. Wow. That's right. That's a very good point. Very good. Not attracted to her at all, but she's very attractive, right? Yes. Okay. She's striking. She's striking. Right. Well, that's a young Annie Lennox. Well, there's not. Tell me if there's anyone who's better looking that most of America doesn't want to have sex with. Oh, that's good. I don't think. A sexless, sexy person. I don't think you're going to find, you know, we were talking about this the other night off the podcast, but like Annie Lennox in her prime, much better looking than like, to me, like, Miley Cyrus, but yet many more people rather have sex with Miley Cyrus than Annie Lennox. Right. Okay. That's right. It's that striking versus attainable thing. Yeah. Or it's not even necessarily attainable. It's a sort of a sexy in your face versus a weird cold sort of marbled brooding sexuality. I don't know. However, I don't know how any of that works, but she is easily the best looking person that nobody wants to have sex with. Where does the cold Kidman rate? She's up there in terms of people don't want to have sex with her. Yes. Interactive. All right, a, uh, member of the inn in her prime discussion meant that it's her tomorrow. Well, it'd be the next day if we take it when people hear this, yeah, and I know there's probably no color pictures of her that exist. Not on the old. Part of the MTV generation. There she is. Yeah. Just like David Bowie. Uh, Nicole Kidman is a fine example of, do not want to have sex with her, but yet fantastic looking. Kate Moss. Yep. She's up there in the, I would. Fantastic looking, but not sexy, I guess you would say. Yeah. I am, I'm, I'm with you. I mean, they're, and we, we can try to break it down all day long. Poshbice. But yeah. Victoria Beckham. Yeah. All British women Victoria Beckham, uh, once from Australia, I think, isn't she on a cold-kidminus Australia? I didn't. My sorry. Yes. Yes. Beckham's that way too. I feel the exact way with Posh, like it's just, okay, just because you're tan and skinny doesn't, there's just, yeah, I'd like to get a, what do you, so far where I've agreed with all these. I don't think Paris held me to that top 10, but she might be number 11. She's up there. Yeah. There's something. Grace Jones. But it sees a scary, yeah, yeah, terrifying, but that'd be just like your, your dick would plan itself in your asshole, like an ostrich, you know what I mean, like, no way, and you'd have to talk your dick out of your ass. Come on, we're going in. Come on. No, no. You can do this. I've seen you do this. You've passed your own behind. Yeah. I saw that bond movie. No fucking way. Yeah. She scares me. And by the way, all you got to do is see if you can look as good as Dolph Lundgren did when he was banging her and it's not going to work. You know, I mean, you went Dolph, you don't want Dolph Sloppie seconds either. That's that's going to be a good day for you. Brzee Nielsen. Brzee Nielsen. Although, in her prime, she was pretty, yeah, I don't know we know about her now. Yeah. Yeah. She does. Yeah. But Glenn Close right up there with the, these are all masculine looking women. Basically. Yeah, but they, but it's, it's sort of just great lines, but not, but there's something missing where you just want, you just want to say, look, you must breed just not with me. Right. Like I'd rather sleep with a loss of opposite than a whimeron or stop it. That's what I was about to say. Yeah. Sigourney Weaver. Oh. It's tough because, and you're right. And, you know, circa ghost busters when she got kind of dolled up, you know, but there's, I think there's an element. I think there's a few things working here, all right? Here's what I think what, here's what I think we can agree on. You can agree on A cup, B cup, sort of sharp edges, a lot of, a lot of elbows and knees, you know what I mean? You could go with how to brawn on. Right. Tall, angular and a little bit intimidating like, no, it might not mean no half way into this. And that's on my end, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, they could overpower you. Yeah. Yep. All right. We've worked it out. You guys can tweet us some of these. We'll see, now, we'll see if we agree, and we can, we can work on who the opposite of this is as well. And to me, it's like, who were you talking about the other night, Miley Cyrus and Amanda Bynes. Amanda Bynes is the op antithesis of this, which is a lot of guys found her hot. And I do not, I find any Linux is much more striking than Amanda Bynes, but Amanda Bynes might get the nod in the sex department. I'm with you. But you guys, what, you guys like Hillary Duff, a young Hillary Duff? Yes. Yes, we do. Okay. Don't dislike her. That's right. All right. But not Mandy Moore. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. We don't, we don't not like Mandy Moore. We wouldn't not fuck Mandy Moore. Michael. You hear that, Mandy? Seattle. All right. You're good. I am good, man. Thank you so much. All right. Let's see our guest is here. So let's power along here. Is it Audrey, 22, Coachella Valley? Yes. What's going on? Adam, how are you? Doing well. Well, I have a situation I wanted to see what would Adam do. All right. I'm 22. I've been with my husband for eight years and two months. More? He's been married for most of the year. Mm hmm. Well, we have a daughter, she's two. Mm hmm. I have a good job. We own our own house. We own three cars. We have everything going well for us. Mm hmm. I had a baby fever for a while, and then I realized I don't need to go out and do a baby fever. I didn't, I didn't listen yet. A baby fever. Mm hmm. Now you don't. Yeah. I was considering having a second child, and then I realized, well, I need to work on myself. I'm still young. I need to have a good time, things like that. So I started working out. I lost a lot of weight. I have, you know, a lot of good things going for me at work and starting to make really good friends out here, because I have no family here except for in Pennsylvania. Mm hmm. And all of a sudden, I didn't know where, and now that I lost all this weight, he wants another baby and I don't. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Well, you're twenty. You're twenty-two. Yeah. And he's twenty-two. Yeah. And he's that age as well. Um, he's actually twenty-six. Okay, and is it the kind of thing where he wants a boy? Well, he doesn't care what the gender is. He just thinks it'd be nice for my daughter to have somebody to play with since we live so far. We live about forty-five minutes away from his family. So we're by ourselves when we bother health. Get her, get her one of those tablets, you know, that apple mix. Baby, yeah. It's all she needs. Baby, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. That's really better. Oh, I know you're going to say, don't bring more kids. No, I'm a little. No, I'm not. No, I'm not. I don't like kids. Well, let's not bring only kids into the world, either. I don't like kids. Don't get me wrong. But what I'm saying is, is, I wonder if he wants a boy, a lot of 26-year-old guys might be thinking that way. But I also do understand not wanting to have the huge gap between siblings because, I don't know, who. I was just talking about. I think James Babydald Dixon, my agent, he has a big gap between his brother and sister every 10 years or something. So it's really. It's not really like having siblings when you have that big gap, you know, I mean, imagine here is somebody, you know, entering high school and you're six years old, they're five years old. They want nothing to do with you. It's not. It's a weird relationship. Someone with zits living in the house with you, you know, that you barely even know, you know. I mean, later on, they can hit you up for money if things go right. But it's kind of weird when there's that big gap. I'm happy that I have twins because they're just right there with each other at the same time doing the same thing, just sort of like literally the same size, eating the same thing, you know, a lot of the same interests and friends and things, you know, it's very convenient for us and for them as well. So I'm with you, but on the other hand, man, more than five years gap wise with the siblings seems tough, right? It's tall order. Yes. Yeah, that's it being as we've discussed this before and it's not the gap thing. He actually doesn't want them, like he doesn't want them too close, but not too far. And with the gender, he's doing a lot of thinking, yeah, he honestly, he doesn't mind. He said that he'd be happy with another girl. What does he have to do with the weight loss though? Because remember, she didn't and then now that she's lost weight, he does. What's up with that? I'm wondering. I don't know, does he have a little extra weight on him? That's the thing is since he's been working graveyard, he has gained a little bit. And graveyard. I've seen weight and I want to lose weight too and I'm like, okay, we'll go for a run with me. No, I'd rather go for a ride on the quad. Okay. Well, I'm going to go run then. So go for a ride on the quad, the RV, I mean the ATV? Yeah. Yeah, we recently got an ATV, so that's his big thing. This is why you're not supposed to get married when you're 20, because the big thing becomes a quad. I'll take the baby. All right. Put them on the lap. Hey. All right. Look, I can't hold the beer in the baby. Don't have to tuck the baby in. I'll put the beer between her legs. I'll swaddle the beer with the baby. Beer. Baby, can you see? She's working graveyard. He likes to go out in the morning. And I work. I work a regular eight to six. All right. Audrey, here's what I can say. Making women do things they don't want to do long term, not great for guys. And he needs to understand that. Whatever it is. You have. How was it with dislocated, John? Not a baby. Anel. What have you? Not. You know, it may be great in the moment, but big picture. They. They're trying to talk the annual out of compromising about anything. It's better if I'm happy is what I explain. And it's not going so well when I explain that, but I hope one day he realizes. Well, bigger picture, they have the memories of Orca whales. And they never let it go. And they're presenting you. And if you got pregnant, when you didn't want to become pregnant, you would resent the shit out of him. And then you'd have someone who resented the shit out of him living with him. But I think here's what I would do. I would work on his weight. I feel like his weight you lose in the weight. He's feeling insecure. He wants to plump you back up. Yeah. So a lot of stuff going through guys when they're in their 20s. A lot. of jealousy, a lot of who you've been talking to, a lot of you're looking good and I'm not looking too good and don't make me take this ATV and drive it over to that guy's house because I know he'd been cheating on me. And a lot of that. So, I would say focus on his weight, feeling better about himself in his weight and then you can get a clear look at the baby picture and it will be unfettered. Yeah, my advice is go back in time and do everything when you're older. That's right. All right. Well, let's see, one last one then we'll bring David show up. Josh. Hey everybody. 37. San Diego. Thank you. Yeah. Come on. So, I wonder if you've heard about the Georgia State Pass, the law about flow posts and how it was supposed to be cheating them to kick it, but I don't wonder if you ever thought as California would ever see that in California, maybe it's a traffic problem. Everybody tweeted to me today that I think they said that traffic was like 90 billion dollars a year. In America or here? I'm thinking America. I'm in America. Makes more sense. Imagine if we had, let's say, one-tenth the interest in traffic as we do in breast cancer. Just something. Maybe wanted to do like my whole thing, what I don't understand and it's why I think this government and California, especially, Los Angeles, especially, but even just United States almost has disdain for its citizens, which is there is something you can do to help all of us. There's one thing that's like universal, whatever your skin color is and whatever your pay grade is, it's sitting on that fucking freeway just watching your life just go away. But in terms of. Melt away. Yeah, just, you know, look, if you guys have invented third hand smoke, that's bad for you. Sitting in the middle of the 110 freeway just surrounded by internal combustion vehicles with motorcycles flying past you, inching along at two miles an hour, that can't be great for whatever's coming into your lungs as well. It's probably not good for your health. It's certainly not good for your head. It's not good for your pocketbook. Why not address it as the problem that it actually is? How come there's zero attention given to it? How come every municipal vehicle talks about senior abuse or stopping human trafficking or clicking or ticket or third hand smoke or second hand smoke, whatever the fuck it is? How come there's no traffic? How come it's a non-conversation when yet. In terms of impacting people's lives, I would say it would be in everyone's top five who lived in a major metropolitan city. Yeah. I. And it's not controversial. You can just talk about it like it's the enemy. We all agree. Yes. Yeah. I know. It's not like I mean, you know, these Jews cause all the traffic out there with their gay friends. That's why. That might get you into trouble. But it's everyone all the time. Everyone could use this. And like I have to be in Huntington Beach this week for catch a contractor. I am in. I have. I mean, pre-dread mode. Do you guys know what I'm talking about that? Yes. Okay. When's the call time? It's 8 a.m. Okay. Whoa. Fucking. Oh, Jesus. Matt. Is there any way to get to Huntington Beach from where I live without going down the five and down the 110 and through the. Yeah. Helicopter? Yeah. I'm. No. So I start. I literally start going into pre-dread the day before like, all right, fucking 8 a.m. call time. So what's that mean? What's that going to be? An hour? An hour and 15 minutes? And then. Oh, what times the podcast? Well, that's at 5.30. Okay. So they're going to come and lose it for. Okay. So it's going to be about an hour and a half. I'm in fucking pre-bummer mode. Because of this problem. And pre-bummer is bummer mode. Thank you. Put that on a fucking highway sign. With dickheads. And it's not like. Well, we could have never seen this one coming. It's been coming for 30 years moving like a fucking glacier getting worse year after year after year. And yet we do nothing. And I have. Okay. So you go. All right. Well, we can't put a second story on the 405 or whatever your freeway is. All right. But. We can alert people to the fact that it's legal to turn right when it's red. Many people are from out of town, for instance, out here and don't know that they have to honk at people all the time. I see guys getting on to the freeway with four fucking bald tires and just looking at four belts. They're going to blow that tire out. They're going to. At the least, just get stuck in the second lane. That's at the least. The worst, the tires are going to blow out and they're going to smack another car. And then they're going to be two cars sitting there. I mean, all those times. Or the injury fatality is. whatever. Why are we so fucking just steeped in everything but this? They're half the cars and Los Angeles especially because what we have. Here's what we have in Los Angeles. We have no transit. There's no mass transit really to speak of. I mean, nothing that's really. Not exactly used. Right. What we do have is a large segment of Los Angeles that must own a car but they really are not in the position to own a car financially or otherwise. So what they have is they have a car that's uninsured with four bald tires on it and a radiator that's going to give out any fucking second now and in any other society they would be on a bus and that would be good for them and good for me because there'd be one less piece of shit breaking down on the freeway and for them it'd be a safer, more economic way that money could be saved. What have you? Not to mention the fact that when they do get pulled over they don't have insurance and then they get fucked up and blah blah blah or when the tire does blow out and they do Korean into the whatever and they fucking kill their kids. It is a very solvable problem if in you gave a shit or focused 10 fucking seconds on it but there's nothing. There's nothing. There's nothing. No. It doesn't exist. It's just we all just sit in traffic. It's never plank in any politicians platform. It's always about, you know, education, kids live behind, it's a lot of hard work and single moms out there. No one ever says anything about fucking traffic. It's weird. I don't know why it's taboo. I understand the, hey poor people stop shitting out kids you can't take care of and fucking everything up. That I understand. Let's not get into that. We need to get elected. We don't want to get into that subject. Traffic seems like something we could all get behind, never discussed. I mean, I had to tell the fucking mayor of Los Angeles, don't need the click at her ticket signs, could use a pull it over when you get to minor accident and he was like the California Highway Patrol guys and the mayor first off it's news to them. It's like what? I said, they're doing it in Montana. We should do it here. We have slightly more traffic, maybe even double, but they have an bozeman. So maybe we should implement this thing that would alleviate traffic and he was like, they haven't Montana, huh, really, really, why, why, why nothing? Why is this zero, why zero effort in this department? And as I've said, it shows a degree of disdain for the citizens because this is something you could do to help out everyone and you're not doing it and it would not necessarily under it wouldn't be a whole bunch. Oh, we need a whole bunch of federal dollars to rebuild this and written, no, no. There's a whole education, there's an approach, it's kind of a no brainer. Yes, nobody knows it's legal to turn right on a red. So we all just sit there bottled up and then you hung through it. How much would it cost to educate the populous and that it's legal to turn red? Well, you just fucking treat it like one of your other worthless campaign. Where's the fucking bumper stickers? And again, the, you know, human trafficking or the senior abuse or the clicker or ticket, what is it putting a dent in any of that shit? Now, it doesn't do a fucking thing, just do something that makes some fucking sense. Would you please maybe use Georgia's slowpoke law like Josh brought up, just got tired. No, here, there's no doubt the college congressman. All right, I'll put it to you this way. Who here, who amongst us has gotten a ticket for, I talked to people all the time, a legal tint, the legal tint on their window, they had no front license plate. They rolled through a four way stop sign. They were going nine miles an hour faster than the posted speed limit in a very safe environment. They didn't have their wheels turned in toward the curb on a slight grade, even though the fucking cars and automatic, who amongst us has not gotten all those tickets? Okay, fine. Now, who's been pulled over for going too slow, who's received a citation for not turning right when it was red and clear to turn red, who's been pulled over and said, Hey, your front right tire, it's showing, you got no tread left on that thing. That's dangerous. That thing could blow out. Who has received a ticket when their car did overheat and they were pulled off by the side of the freeway and the fucking radiator had been flushed out in five years and so and went, well, here's a citation because you're not maintaining your vehicle properly. You're putting other people in jeopardy. Who's gotten that ticket? I'm guessing no one here nobody nobody, but the illegal tint Had a fucking chick I work with who just got the illegal tint fucking ticket or the no-front license plate fucking ticket That goes on all fucking day long. I was driving down to the man show got the no-front license plate pulled over on vine Taking up a lane people like slowing down and bottle necking and having to go around me because I had to We slowed everyone else to shit down because of no fucking front front license plate on a Z car Jesus fucking Christ. Well, they showed you. Oh God. It's just it is It is disdain because what it is it's this we can't figure out a way to make money off it So fuck you guys we'll focus on the shit we can make money off of and that'll be no front license plate in illegal tint all right That was Adam Prilis show 1431. He'll have next we have Adam Prilis show 1682 featuring Adam Ray John Demko Gina Gradin Brian Bishop. This was from 2015. Oh Oh, oh Riley auto parts. Yeah, they're in the business keeping a car in the road. You know that they're off our friendly helpful service and the parts Knowledge you need to maintain and repair your car I got race cars race cars. They're funny. They're high performance, but they're simple So you can work on a lot of the stuff yourself, and that's why I always go to a Riley They've got thousands of parts and accessories in stock either in store or online so you never have to worry if you're in a jam Their team can test your battery for free in or out of the car So if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one and if you need windshield wipers replace the brake light fixed or a quick service. They've got you covered as well I've come in there scrambling before and been astonished and have friendly and helpful Everyone is there and they know their stuff. They even held the door for me last time as at the one in Glendale The professional parts people the Riley auto parts are your one stop shop for all things auto do it yourself and You can find what you need either in store or online. It's a Riley, right Dawson? Stop by O'Reilly auto parts today or visit them at oReilly auto dot com slash Adam. That's oReilly auto dot com slash Adam Hello and welcome to Pluto foe if you know the name of the movie you'd like to see just stream it for free on Pluto TV We're all your bloodbusters favorites are landing all summer long catch anchor man the legend of Ron Burgundy fantastic The matrix trilogy. Welcome to the real world Mean Girls side up. I'm the key in the world and so much more for showtimes press nothing They're free 24/7. That is so fast on Pluto TV stream now pay never John Got a hard-hitting question for you What percentage is just pure old-school dinosaur oil versus pure synthetic Versus mixed in 2015 castoral sales in the oh You thought it was all softball questions. I didn't know I was coming to hard stuff. So I'm the technical guy Yes, why you asking me sales questions Well, I'm just kind of curious like when I was a kid it was like it didn't exist Then about 10 years ago it started going, but you would talk It's funny. Talk to the old school guys are like. Yeah, I don't go with that. I don't go that synthetic stuff Though engine builders like the high-end guys. They were they're old school now. I feel like it's you pick with it So let me ask answer your question without giving you numbers. All right, since I don't know the numbers to be honest Precisely again from Lynette after the show, but keep going But but conventional oils are still the primary oil sold, you know in the US marketplace Really? Yeah, the GTX is absolutely you have to realize that in the US the average age of a car is over 11 years old Really? Yes, and so with that obvious leaders are going to be still a lot of conventional oils Recommended in vehicles however when you look at how things are trending how Viscosity grades oil grades are getting thinner. I mean we started from 1040 to 1030 to 530 520 No, this is all part of the cafe thing that's exactly right think about Brian. I'm making you're not a gear head Understand thanks. I know yeah back over here Brian take a power. All right You take this I was gonna make it the crank and the rods and stuff like that, but let's just make it a spoon Okay, a wooden spoon. All right, all right. You're making some fudge brownies So you're in the kitchen and you're making self Delicious, you're making up to him from scratch with it out. No Betty Crocker in the house. You're going scratch You're wearing a apron. Don't have nothing else. Sure. Your man is in the next room He's with his beer and his and his other lady friend. Oh She does things that you either won't do or don't do so well That's probably true, but either way you've decided to make some fudge browns for you. Okay. Yeah, okay Now you got that mix and ball. Yeah, and it's under your right arm and in your left hand You're holding a wooden spoon. Thanks for knowing I'm left handed. Yeah, and you're stirring. Okay. You're stirring that bowl Well, the thicker that fudge brownie mix is the harder elbow grease harder. It's gonna your sweat and heart. You're working now Yeah, but imagine if it was thin How easy it'd be for you to take that wooden spoon and mix it up? Then of course you're gonna say well. Yeah, but if it's watery thin those brownies are gonna taste like ass What if I said guys like John over here have figured out a way to make it easy to turn and still make a delightful pan of brownie John fixed my brownies. Hey, absolutely did. Thank you John Any time he may put some nuts in them at some point too. Okay. Well, I deserve it Those are those are those special performance differentiating it then differentiating additives. That's right. By the way No, no shit. I actually understand oil now. Well, it used to just be super thick and gooey and molassesy and honey And it was like that's all the parts in the car like And then it would warm up the thin out a little but it was still like and now we need Better mileage. So it's got to turn easier. I have a stupid potentially stupid question for you speaking of better mileage Ice electric cars testless and whatnot. They still use motor while obviously because they have the moving parts, right? They don't use motor oil. They don't use any motor oil. They're electric. Well, I know they don't gas But I'm so sorry, but they have working hearts. There are things turning there, but there's but there's but there's no Combustion and something turns in your brains Well, we get that turning just to mention I'm so sorry. That's okay. I'm so sorry. I I don't I can't I can't I can't explain what went on all I don't know We have a working relationship. We don't have a friendly relationship. I would say we're civil outside of the studio I don't speak for everyone here. Say he does not certainly speak for me or the staff or me in my brownies That's right. It's got a big battery. Oh, I know that Moving parts that need a lubrication you would need to motor oil. You would repack. Yeah, they do lubricate them. Yeah, you would pack Bearing bearings and things like that. Castrol actually does make smart some kind of it's let's get ahead of it. We make grease We make grease for cars. We make we make All right. Those Adam pullers show 1682 with John Demko from 2015 coming up next. We have Adam pullers show 1747 with UCB legend Matt Besser Jeeta Grad and Brian Bishop from 2016 Anyway, Jans Yeah All right, these people on the California My coach used to grab us by a face mask. We used to give real pittest off at us and like cut a jerk at to the ground Anyway, my question is about the old Jay that old Jay will be with Cuba good in junior. Yeah, and Georgia Roca like I said out from California and I don't know if it's just being from LA thing I'm just so sick of old jail. Okay, he's freaking dead. It's like they have to keep dredging it up Dredging it up and it pisses everybody off and it doesn't really good any good Like they're just trying to squeeze every nickel out of a story that That's done There's more information that is going to come out in this or is it all just dramatic whatever it's like a major TV movie It's like series. All right, I seriously doubt it. I mean Bigger California. I mean you saw I mean like it would just we were just took the death with the old Jay Simpson Okay, fine with interesting men, but now it's like it's all a little bit. It's like it just like they want to bring it up Just to put you know this back in atmosphere. I mean it looks pretty schlock well as I'm not bad. It's Mark Gargis said They should have tried him in Santa Monica. He was tried civilian Santa Monica. He's found guilty in Santa Monica But they moved it downtown and they lost the case which always found interesting because Once they moved it downtown all the DNA evidence and all they put in the glove on and all that kind of shit Didn't matter. Yeah, it was done. The church didn't understand a lot of the DNA evidence What it was or how it worked and also I think they just did what The thing I hate the most about anything I think they were enamored with Johnny Cochran It's the same thing I was yap about where it's like You know when we do the you know LA's half-Hispanic we need a mayor that represents like even if he's a fucking asshole Even if he's horrible even if he's an imbecile like oh yeah, no that guy looks like me. So I'm going to Even though whatever be damned. I'm just going to I hate that. I I I drives me nuts Somehow it's looked ahead is noble. I mean not if you're white obviously, but if you're anything else There's sort of some nobility to it If fucking bothers me. I just heard I think it was the Fire chief of San Francisco or whatever that you know only 3% of the firemen or women and he's appalled and this has to change And it's like why? Why does it have to change why maybe guys? I think are probably better lifting heavy shit Maybe man. We'll go out on a fucking limb and they're they're trying to do these like outreach things or it's like come on ladies come on down come on and sign up and Why they're not interested that's their fucking prerogative? There's differences. Is that okay? Why does this need to represent everything all the time especially something like the fire department? I'll do you one better say you as as a fire department You probably want you probably would rather have the people that sought you out the people who really wanted to do it Regardless of gender or color or whatever people that can't rather than doing an outreach thing like Please the people that want to do this it's a very dangerous job. Yes, it To I don't have to sell anyone. I'm being a firefighter running into a fucking completely fucking agree because When the house is ablaze and you can hear the kid crying from the upstairs bedroom That's a certain kind of wiring the transcends Training either you're going in or you're going back to the rig to get on the blower and call for some backup I want the going in person and as it turns out Yes, imagine if we just went with the aforementioned UFC Imagine the fight should be like if we just recruited people You you in the cardigan. Yes, where are you coming from the market? All right get in here Get these board shorts on and get in here. What is this octagonal cage just get in there and start duking it out now If by chance you get the guy on his back I want you to just keep throwing a balled up fist that is orbital socket and tell he stops moving or can you do that like no I can't I can't do that. What if per chance he gets me in my back You know what I just saying it's a fifty-fifty. Hey stranger in the pastel cardigan Don't even think that way. Okay. That's the surefire way to get on your back So do not have a plan for a plan about my back only focus on getting him on his back Well, you need to do something called sprawling. Are you familiar with sprawling? Well, this is going to sound very This is going to sound very homo-rotic, but he's going to do something called shoot on you. Okay. Okay When he shoots on you you sprawl That way you won't end up on your back eating fists. Okay. Yeah. Okay. You're using a lot of advanced terminology Again, I'm just coming from the market Is this is this advice for when I'm on top of him? Well, you know, I'm not really thinking about him. You know, let's save the talk for once we lock the cage Oh, the cage is locked. Well, you go in then we lock it. Yeah. Well, I'm on the impression I could leave anytime Not well, you can but either after you either tap out or pass out or or You could have the other guy You know, you could knock him out. Why would I pass out? Is this an elevated thing like are we doing this in Denver? Like why am I going to be short of oxygen? Why on earth would I pass out? Well, it's probably going to be more like Pomona Okay, that's about sea level. Yeah. Oh, he's going to be trying to choke you out. Oh, oh, I'll hence the past. Okay So I can leave in any time though. So it's really kind of a moot point Well, after it's done. Yeah, you can leave. Yeah. I want to make what makes it done Well, when you sort of turn into sort of a rag doll and then he drops you, but now here's the deal. Yeah I haven't went down to the Costco where they do the samples of the cheese and found your opponent. Oh, so maybe there's somebody there. Can I go with you? I'd love to choose the guy I really don't want to be influenced. Oh, okay. Can I draw a mix of notes just some bullet points on people to look for you? You can google your Joe Rogan's name and see what comes up. I'm gonna head down the Costco fight. Okay. How good would that or how bad would that fucking fight be? Well Probably bad. I agree with Brian 100% and that I want people that are dying to be fireman like literally dying to be fireman not us Out trying to get fucking single moms in there as is a gig for a super dangerous job with guys with huge broad shoulders. Okay and I'll tell you something else I don't want to tweak it so that the gals can get in or that weaker guys could get in forget about gals I don't want to tweak it. So well, it used to be a 50 pound hose pack and you had to go up and down the stairs 20 times Now it's a 20 pound hose pack and you do it 10 times. I don't want to tweak for anybody standards of the standards regardless of any other demographic information Yes, and if that precludes a certain group or a certain amount of people by the way, it cuts out a lot of dudes from being fireman too It should cut out 85% of the population regardless of any demographic back I was just watching naked and afraid of Christy and there was a woman in there who was ass kicker and I was like Let her be a firefighter. She gets yes. I ask you anybody just fucking when the mayor's get on there And they're like we're really appalled and this is sad and where you want the We want them to reflect. I just want to fucking never stop needing them in the groin I want some fucking reporters got some fucking balls to raise her hand and go why Why should well because it should reflect the community? Well, what are you suggesting? Well, not suggesting anything. I'm suggesting it should reflect the community. It serves. Why are you suggesting? They wouldn't go into the house or are they going to find out in advance? Hey, what is that a Caprice classic looks like there's some rims on that thing. I ain't going in there What what is it? What are you suggesting? What explain yourself? They'll never get to that fucking point No one ever answered that question and no one will ask that question. There should be a lot of fucking head nodding Okay, you're right. They should definitely as is true for all jobs What about fishermen? Should they represent like what about tip all of our tongues? Well, what about fucking the guys who are on the crab Black folk like crab. Mm-hmm. I don't see a lot of colored faces out there in the bearing Straits and the last out there pulling up the crab. So should those folks represent the people who go to red lobster Why not? It's widely disproportionate. Why shouldn't we? Yeah, what what about the wicked tuna guys? Shouldn't they whether there's no people of of color who eat tuna or what about me? The fuck cares is the answer right? Just go fucking catch your tuna and then I'll eat it if I want God damn I the only part that drives me nuts is when the mayor and the fire chief like to fucking finger each other like we're both heroes We're both heroes because this is we're a poll that this 3% women Okay, I ask everybody this All you ass wipes at Huffington Post would you like a fire department in your city that is 50% female? Is that what you would like because that's oh or whatever 51% what it what do we what do you guys 51% 51? Would everyone love that would we love that? It sounds very noble But I think we all know yeah, we'd all be more comfortable with the with the standards being what they are whoever rises above those standards Firefighter club. Yeah. Yes. So shut the fuck up heroes as holes. All right, Matt's here. We'll bring him up Matt Bessers entered the studio. Good see you, Matt. Hey guys. Thanks for me back I really enjoyed your stand-up special which I watched earlier today. All right CB theater the little unorthodox but fun. Oh, yeah doing complaint letters and punk rock songs and just it's a whole new world out there. It's really fun. Thanks man The new episodes by the way, and there's so's a couple things. There's the UCB show which is on CISO. That's No, explain CISO to us. Well, they want to be the The comedy Netflix basically. There are all these new platforms out there and they're they're focusing on the comedy nerds And they sold me on we got all the money pythons and kids in the hall hostage. So if you want to see them you got to get on this one Which which makes sense to me because Every all the real supposing networks are just saying no to me all the time. So let's go to a place that just focuses on comedy nerds Doesn't man mind if you're doing weird shit. Well You in comedy when did you start when did you realize this was gonna be your path? Who inspired you? How did it all go down? My first time I did stand up. I was just trying to get to Jamaica for a win the trip to Jamaica for spring break Sponsored by Doritos cool ranch and sticklets or something like that So that then college. Yeah, that was in college. Where are you going to college? I was at Amherst College the contact a contest was at UMass I went up on stage still maybe one of the bigger audiences. I was there in front of it was like over 2,000 people And I was so fucking nervous my hands were shaking. I was Stuttering and I don't know if you if you did this when you start doing stand-up you kind of have this Script memorized in your head, but once you get up there, you're just kind of Skipping around in the script and you don't have it memorized now. It's just and people thought and I killed and Afterwards, but I I wasn't doing anything right, and afterwards people were like, "You're doing a great Bobcat gold weight." I was stuttering so hard, I was like, "Oh, that's what you thought it was awesome." What happens is, whenever there's an audience, and even if you're not nervous, watch any live band, listen to them playing their song on the CD or wherever you get it, and then when you hear the live version, it's always a little faster. Everything gets sped up live because the audience sort of requires you to speed it up. They don't ask for it, it's a human condition. So, when you're doing stand-up, it's all about nuance, taking your time, hitting those things, and you get this script in your head, you memorize the script, and then you get up there, and the energy kicks in, and you shotgun it, you just blast through, you just mow through your act. It doesn't work. You're not pausing for that when you're rehearsing it to yourself. I just saw the quiet riot documentary, do you guys see that? No, I don't know what it's called, but I guess they lost the main guy, Kevin, and then they auditioned new guys, and I never appreciated how hard it is to be, because I always thought that's easier to mute music, like once you know the song, it seems like. There's a weird, come on, feel the noise. Is there anything more shaming than when you say to someone, you like that song, come on, feel the noise, and they go, you mean, feel the noise, you ever get the thing where they chop it off? No, you fucked it up, because you didn't know where to start, and where to stop. But I don't know why it's insanely shaming to me, because I don't know where the song, the title starts, and you know what I'm saying. It is, come on, feel the noise, as far as I know. It is good. All right. But then they had this one. Oh, come on, feel the noise. You know that song. Sorry, quiet right. But they had this new guy do it, and he bombed so fucking bad, and then you're like, because he did great in his audition. He just nailed it, and he had that specific metal voice. But then you got to still be a personality. You still got to know how to sell it and be confident. He had no confidence. He stood in one spot. He didn't know how to work the mic. It's another thing you never know, until you start doing it. It's just how to get that fucking mic out of the stand, and put it behind you, and all that kind of shit. And he looked, he just didn't have that confidence, and the whole audience could feel it. So even though he could fucking nail the voice, he did not have the persona for it yet. That was like, dude, that's why he got it. You got to do the coke and the booze that kills you to get that confidence, I guess. It's a weird thing to be interesting. I wonder if you could go to one of those functional MRI things, which is some people go out on the Super Bowl, or on that big stage, or in front of all those people, and it fucks them up royally. They draw blanks. I can't think the stuff that was formally super easy for them is super difficult now and everything. And other people hit some sort of weird stride with some sort of adrenaline thing that's actually brings them up like an equilibrium kind of thing with the audience. Yeah, I don't know what it is, but there's, there's no middle. I don't think there's a middle like there's a, I go up there, I get a dry mouth. I start stuttering. I can't figure out what to say, or there's a go out there in front of the audience and somehow feel that ride that wave. And I don't think there's anyone who's just in the middle goes, and it doesn't matter if there's an audience or not an audience. But it'd be interesting to figure, if you could figure out whether your kid had that, or not, you know, that sort of Michael Jordan, big game sort of ability. You'll find it out of the first choir concert. I guess so. Have you done like gone from a 2000 to a 10,000 kind of venue? Have you done like a super huge venue? I, I had to do, I remember, I had, I rode my unicycle on dancing with the stars. And I knew there was an audience about 20 million people. So that hits you the unseen audience. Now, well, that place kind of has both gone for it because there's a good thousand people that are up and about, it's very scaled up, but there's a good thousand people there. And then there's another 20 million people that are at home. And I remember sort of thinking, I had to sit off in the wings and it was dark and there were some cables and stuff. I had to run over on my unicycle. I just start riding on, to sit there and hold this big camera jib on my unicycle. And then I had to ride over these cables and then ride up onto the floor, the floor's on a slab. So the park is like raised a couple inches, it's got a little slope to it. And then I was going to ride past the whole thing. And I remember just sort of thinking, well, let's be shitty to fall off of this, this, this thing right now, you know, like inner gyroscope don't film me now. I know it's an old cliche, but I don't really have that nerves thing. I actually have the nerves before, but then when I go out, I don't experience it. Just kicks in. Something kicks in. But that has to be with experience because I used to be a mess up on stage doing open mics. Yeah, I guess it's all about steaks with me. I'm rarely nervous, but if I feel there's something at stake, sometimes I can get nervous still even. Do you want people familiar faces in the audience? I don't. Interesting. I don't like preaching to the converted sometimes, like I perform in my theater a lot. And if I feel like there's a lot of improv students or something like that, that I'd rather not have that. So I do like the challenge of this is just a real audience, if that's what you're asking. Well, I mean like that thing where it's like a lot of people, I don't get it, but it's because I've fucked up wiring, but they go like, well, people say like, well, I had my mom and my dad there, and my wife was there. So they're all there to support me. So I really felt support and it's like, that would fucking bring me out where I like looked out and saw my mom sitting there. Like I think it would pull me right out of the game. Like Tom Hank's dad in a punchline, he starts flipping out his doctor, dad's there. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I wouldn't I wouldn't want that at all. No, that familiar definitely not. I thought you meant just like fans, but like people you actually know personally, I definitely don't see either face and then all you're like, how is their face react? And then to watch your dad texting, while you're sitting there trying to get through your little letterman, my dad being able to text just surprised me. Well, that's what I'm saying, a really freak out. So the stand up special is out as we speak. And you can also then see the UCB show as well Thursday, right? New episodes. Yes. Yes. See, like SEE. So, see so. And it's cool. I love all the venues. I love the fact that guys like you can just go out and do find a place. Like just go like, maybe it's not a traditional network, but you get your audience can find you. Yeah, and you get and that is what's so great now and that's what's so great about podcasts too. It used to be, I got away for Comedy Central to say yes to me, or perhaps one of the three networks during pilot season, but now it does seem even the weirdest ideas can find a home. So you want to amhurst, like Lord Jeff Amherst? Yeah. And they just, they just banned that name when I went there, I was like, well, they banned the mascot, right? The mascot, the Jeffrey Amherst, yeah, you can't. That's Dr. Drew. Did he? Damn. The guy said white guy with blonde hair, which is weird because normally you banned the Indian mascot. This is banning the white guy who poies in the Indian. Finally, the opportunity banning. Yeah. But I grew up a Arkansas razor back fan. That's probably when the coolest mascot's the hog, but yeah. But then when I went there was like, Lord Jeffrey, that's even a lame name, Jeffrey can be most them named and everyone in division three, the Eathman were rival like what the, what kind of mascot names are those? But that's a good school. I mean, it's classically, so you must have, your parents must have had some dreams for you. They did. They did. What do they think you were going to do? Funny enough, they thought it was going to be an investment banker like my dad. I took Econ 101 the first semester there and I fucking did so horribly as I can not fucking do this. All I was good at was smoking pot and collecting CDs at that point, pretty much. But you were able to get good grades and do well on your SATs. Up till that point. Is that the kind of thing where your parents can just sort of will you throw it like get you a tutor, get you a SAT study class and all the kid and the whole thing and just kind of they can push you through and then once you get out of the NAS, you're on your own with the weed and you go fuck it is that way. My mom was so instrumental, like you're saying, she, not my dad as much, but my mom was from a very early age, pushing me, pushing me when we got the letter of acceptance she was crying, it was her, it was her super ball. And then I just completely fucked it, fucked it all up, so I was a terrible student once I went to college. And I thought I was smart until I got there too. I'm like, oh, these people are smart and I'm not smart. Did you have to explain to them at some point that you're going to drop out? Did you graduate? I did graduate. I did graduate comedy. Those kind of colleges, they don't let you fail. It's like, it's like you either get an A or you get a C. There's no, there's no AFCERDs, don't let you. do that, so I didn't fail out. They never really knew. When I did, when I did say I was going to do comedy, they were pretty supportive actually, but I do remember people from a hometown laughing and going, "You wasted your parent, the education that you got from your parents on doing comedy, huh? You know, you had a pretty good one, but it's still kind of, I mean, I know it's, I don't know, it's not hip anymore, but it's kind of nice to pull that out every once in a while and tell people they want to am hers, right? Yeah. I think I'd feel pretty good about that. Pretty good, pretty good. I did feel like, another thing I thought I was, I thought I was an athlete, I played soccer in high school, and this isn't a little rock Arkansas, and back then, soccer was kind of new, like in the 80s, and especially in the south, the sports were football and basketball, and if you were too skinny like me to play those, you played this new sport, soccer, and I was, since the athletes weren't in soccer, I was one of the best soccer players we went to stay, we were the best in a little rock, I was being, and there wasn't YouTube, so there was no proof of how bad or good you were online that a coach could look at, so I went up to these division three schools, and the coach would walk me around campus and treat me like I was a stud, and I was actually considering, I don't know if I want to go to Williams, their program's not as good as Amherst, and first day of Amherst, I'm on a floor with a bunch of other guys, we're like, let's go down the field and play some soccer, and we're all running down there, I'm like, why are these football players all running down there to play soccer? And they're like, oh, they're the soccer players, they have muscles, and when we start playing, they're, they're fucking checking me, and I'm like, oh my god, I didn't know soccer could be physical, and then I, and I wasn't even good enough to sit on the bench and varsity, I sat on the bench and JV, and then I was like, all right, I just suck at soccer. Where's that bone that I've been hearing about? Almost exact same thing with football, which again, it's what we talk about the purity of sports, like, doesn't matter who your dad is, doesn't matter what you do, or what color your skin is, like, you're no good. They'll be job. They'll just toss you, they'll just weed your ass right? Right out, and it weed you out with no, everyone I know who's into music, and/or into comedy, and in their 40s, and hasn't made a penny doing either one, still talks about, you know, I'm thinking about moving to Nashville, because I got, I met a dude, it's always some dude they met, and he saw a lot of me, and I'm thinking about, but you never sit around and go, I'm thinking about taking another run at soccer. I might, I might start on an international level, and then maybe work my way back to LA, you know, I might start out, maybe I'll pick a smaller European country to play for something. Or to primarily first, I'll save that for maybe year two. Yeah, once you, once you stop playing soccer at that level, you have these little dreams, these little thoughts that last for about a year, it's you coasting to a stop, like, maybe I'll really get in shape, make a comeback, but 18 months after you played, you like, lace up your cleats, size them, you're fucking on to the next thing. There's never any discussion of making a comeback. And now, this makes me think of, Peyton, who will be watching this Sunday, how every time, every time they're talking about him, he's the old man of football, he's so old, what he's like, what, 30 9 or to some, I'm like, he's fucking old. Yeah. Does that make me, man? Yeah. Dad, he's not even 40. He makes us dead. No, it's weird. It's, there's a weird thing when he would come old. First thing is the first time you get pulled over by 23 year old cop, you're like 46 and you just go, what? And you're like, listen, yeah, like, it's also weird when he's, he's, he's he's barking out orders to you and his voice is still changing. And it's like kind of weird. And he just, he looks so fucking young. And especially now, like, because they'll have an Asian or Hispanic guy who I don't, 23 could mean 14, you know, like, I, I don't know that the first realization is getting pulled over by a super young cop. Have you guys ever had a doctor or a nurse who was way younger than you? That's, yeah, that's like, that's where you licensed. How can you begin? Now, at a certain point, you pass the players and then you start passing the coaches, maybe not head coach, you know, I'm not done nor leavey nor turn or leave it to old guys and turn them into one super mummy coach. But the assistant coaches and stuff, the fucking full head of black hair. Yeah. How about pitching people in comedy here in the 20s? That drives me fucking crazy. Yeah. And are you? What? You're going to judge me also. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you're, you're pitching. Yeah. You just graduated from Brown two years ago and also you're an expert in comedy. You're really, comedy is one of those things where you, there's occasional phenoms or 23. But really, you shouldn't know shit at 23. You could, you could have some ability and some potential and some whatever. But you really have no seasoning at all. You have no life experience to talk about. So your, your comedy just runs out of pop culture references at some point and it's like, you got to live life now. You're going to have some tragedy. Well, speaking of that, should we do a little news? Gina Grant? Let's do it. Let's do that. Yeah, go ahead. The news with Gina Grant. Well, all three Orange County jail escapees are back in custody after Bach Dwang turned himself in in Santa Ana, California. And Jonathan, too, and Jose Neieri were caught in San Francisco after someone recognized their van. Meanwhile, a woman named new, uh, new chafferine Ravagi, who was an English as a second language teacher at the jail. She's now under arrest for allegedly giving the men tools to plan their escape like a Google image of the Jail's roof. Authorities say she and escapee Jose Neieri became very close the past several months, even though Neieri already speaks English. They're not saying whether there was a relationship there. If it was romantic, but the two are very close and shared in Iranian heritage. So they are looking into that. Um, she was visiting like she was working in the prison. Yes, she was the teacher. Yes, I'll teach her. And he was trying to learn English, although he spoke English. Yes, probably had a plan. Probably had a plan. And then he was asking, looking to learn geography, apparently. Yeah, really, really local. Yeah, really interested in this mile radius. How, uh, how vulnerable? Look, I, you know, here's my, when you guys think of this, because it's not the first time this happened. When the chick, when the single chick says, yeah, I'd like to go into the prison three days a week and spend some time with the fellas. She's out. I don't want her. It's like, I said, like who wants to take the kids camping? The dude's hand flies up. You're out. You're out. I don't, you should know fucking woman that has a good relationship or a great self image or is comfortable with her body or whatever. It doesn't have a collection of clogs and cats should ever even want to go into that place. Only super emotionally vulnerable women. And so for the first time ever, they're going into a place and a guy's going, wow, you really have carrying eyes. Is anyone? No, don't ever tell me that. You're so beautiful. You're so beautiful. Really, because I'm supposed to just wear these state issued. No, but I can see they fit your shape. I mean, while a lot of people would call it robust, here, it's a very sought after bill. Thank you. Are you on the internet? Yeah. Okay, because you, you look so amazing. Did you say you're single? I am. Well, I got to tell you that is their loss. They're about, they're between 3,500 and 3,700 bells, including the guards. I include the guards and the warden in here that would love to take you out to a nice dinner. I'm so flush. Have you ever had been on Google Earth? Yeah, once or twice, I've Googled some things. I hear you could even see the roof of the prison for matters. You don't say. Yeah. Wow. Kind of weird, right? Yeah. It's a firm breast. Yeah. Fit a sob beneath them. Yeah. You hold a sob between those. I don't know if I believe you. Let me Google that and check. Yeah, go ahead and check that. Oh, I'll be damned right here. Can I take a look at that? Yeah, Steve, you don't believe it. What? Do you not believe me here? Yeah. Look at that. Look at the ducting vent over there right by the parapet. See, I know how to Google. You didn't think I knew how to Google, but I know how to Google. Gals is pretty as you. Usually are pretty useless around the computer. You. Oh, you know, this is the only English I speak. I know. I'm in a role of the Neurotation English. Yeah, it's only complimentary English. I can't ask where the bathroom is. I can say that sure as a fancy bathroom. You see what I'm saying? I do. You should probably come twice a week then. All right. Make it three times. So all women who either work in a prison or volunteer in a prison are super vulnerable, right? I mean, like, they do that all the time. Like, who do they? Who does Racist recruit not super happy teens that on their way to an Ivy League school No, it's like disgruntled angry young men get into the gang get into the so they prey on that I don't know maybe we maybe we should only have women who are happily married high confidence feeling really good about themselves only only who are in very Committed relationships, okay, can't have the single cat lady remember the one woman in the previous story for maybe six months ago She was married. I don't know how well to how well the relationship was doing, but she was married working in the seam I would say saying blowing the convict in the laundry would suggest that her relationship was passed the honey moon phase That's a check in the in the con category. That's that's what I literally a con category. Yes, so We need to do a little psychological profile and cuz they're vulnerable. Yeah, they're gonna start giving away information and hacksaw blades Now she's gonna be in prison. So it's not gonna matter, but she'll know at the top of the jail looks like Mm-hmm. The aspect that hits me is I feel like I would never be able to Figure out how to escape from jail, but I also feel like once I was escaped you'd never catch me Don't you feel like you could find a place to get away? Well, that's the funny thing about these guys is one of them was picked up in Santa Ana. I mean they didn't get very far Yeah, I could figure out a way not be found Do you like creepy? Yeah, well, it's always the vehicle that gives it away Because it's not like we're sitting around going hey that 28-year-old Vietnamese guy, you know, he looks like Everyone else from Vietnam. Well, it's true. We went we couldn't really identify the guy But we can identify that there's a Ford airstarm that was stolen and white and then that's the van It's always the van that gives it away. Yeah, these guys were on mountain bikes You'd never suspect it. No, you've never all you need is Mountain bikes in the right apparel Mm-hmm, you know like like some cargo shorts and some of those like off-road boots or whatever to look those all that just this looking right Like a fanny pack. No, all you have to do is steal a mountain bike and you're fucking home free Yeah, you steal a van. Everyone's looking for you. Yeah, that's a good tip. Thank you Well meanwhile Fox news reports that a Southern California patrol deputy lost an AR-15 Tuesday after placing it on the trunk of a patrol vehicle and Driving away before realizing his weapon was missing and apparently they still haven't found it The deputy was getting ready to start his shift at the Aliso Viejo station and place the rifle in a black nylon bag with Reloaded magazines on the trunk. He got distracted and drove off with the weapon still on the car The department is urging whoever finds it. Please turn it in. It didn't specify whether the cop is gonna be punished or not But they are still looking for the rifle. I've Trying to explain to people that they're not that good and they're not that smart and the car and or car bumper is The worst yep, you fucking come out. How many cups of coffee? I used to have a truck that had like the step bumper on it Where you could just set it down like it was now everything streamlined and everything You'd set that mug down on there and then something then there's always just there's always something that Happens and that's why you're not that good because this guy will tell you no I put the AR-15 on the trunk. I was gonna go get it and get the car then I get the phone call Get the phone call from the wife the wife wants to know what I need from the cause go and next thing You know I'm getting into the car with the AR-15 on the trunk of the crown Vic. Yes, you're not that good. Don't ever Set anything on your car. Also, it's insane. How much stuff stays on your car when you get to your Yeah, please groceries Oh, just because it's fun Gary. We'll see if we can ever find this but It's probably on carcast I had a maybe Chris can find it So I'm up at Laguna, Seika Up north right right around where they captured these fugitives And I'm doing a race, but it's not a real race. It's a come on out bring your race car and get some track time at the Laguna Seika race so they're guys there with crazy crazy race cars brand new race cars Mercedes-Benz like a $40 million race car like on loan from the Mercedes Museum and shit like that Everyone's just got all the crazy shit out there and everyone's doing their Testing trying to get some track time get some seat time in your car dial the thing in and I go out there with my group of idiots everyone else is out there with a semi truck with an elevator and shit in it and they're driving their Cobras and their Bugatti's and they're crazy, you know for our GTO's a multi-million and I'm out there my Dotsons with my band of idiots Who yeah, they're not that good at what they do, but I like traveling with you know, you have to travel with these people like it's like traveling with an opening act It's not really that funny, but a great hang You know you have to decide it's gonna be a lot more time with us in airports and us hanging out at diners and strip clubs And it's gonna be he or she doing 20 minutes up on stage. I'll put up with it So I go out onto the track and I do a lap and I'm going around turn five. I think and coming up the hill for turn six and I see this huge tire pressure gauge it's a big round it's expensive ones a nice one. It's a huge one With the long hose on it and it's sitting Directly in the middle of the track and my first thing is is always like how do we fuck this up? This must be us because my guys are fuck-ups and then my next thought is Well, I've already done a lap and that wasn't there when I did my first lap So how could it be for me? It couldn't I couldn't have been stuck halfway in the tire and I took off or sitting on the roof of the car as a fucking race car I'm sliding all over the track. This can't this can't be Then it wasn't directly in the middle of the track and then the next lap It was destroyed when somebody ran it over and then of course when I got back into the pits. I was like Man turns out there's somebody dumber than us at this racetrack in amongst all these guys that are super millionaires who drive these super Well-kept cars that they don't even prep their own cars are kept at a super expensive garage where the guys do all the prepping and bring them out there in the semi-trucks and everything like that Then I get back and I talked to less with the big gut slapping over shorts wearing the 510 shirt and he's like That was my new tire pressure gauge and I was like How was it your new tire pressure gauge is like I said it on the back of your Dotson race car Z-car, but the thing has like a whale tail that like comes up and wraps around So as he sat it there it actually had like a weird Cove around and when you accelerate it just pushed up against the rim of the whale tail Yeah, and then I slid on that corner and did a weird fish tally Whatever and that's when I shook it loose, but it was a weird thing where I was like Driving up the middle of the track looking at this huge tire pressure checker going who's this stupid? And then I thought only us and then I thought but impossible because it was not there the previous lap Well, you got the coffee still made it all the way around that the coffee was still on the roof of the car Chris Gary Chris can find that. I don't know It's let's see would have been rich white guy race as we call it, and it probably would have been like 2011 maybe 12 Figured out look gonna say we'll figure out and you guys have a laugh. All right, what else? Well, and you know how you didn't realize it for a couple of laps. This guy didn't realize his rifle was missing for seven hours You didn't have to shoot someone in seven hours. That's your response a little Day in Aliso, Viejo. Wow. Yeah, the policy and also shouldn't I don't know should You know the the the case is black. I'm guessing the deck lid of the trunk is black No, that shit just be bright orange. Yeah, like we talked about some part of it What every leather key fob is black and every carpet and seat and every car's black and when it falls down in between the seat and the Transmission tunnel. It's just this weird leather black thing and a sea of black leather All right, well in sag award news and we see reports that the Journalism drama spotlight won the SAG Ensemble cast award over the weekend Meanwhile, Leonardo DiCaprio won for outstanding male lead in the Revenant Brie Larson won for outstanding female lead in room Orange is the new black one for Ensemble comedy series Idris Elbow won for both for TV mini series for Luther As well as supporting role in a motion picture for Beast of No Nation I have a clip of Michael Keaton speaking on behalf of the spotlight cast got Had to say a few things about a few other things once the Beast of No Nation. It's a good. Yes, but it's very hard to watch It's about child soldiers. Yeah, it's it's it's a like hunger games. No, it's about recruiting kids. Yeah, I'm out exactly I'm out recruiting kids to fight your war This is really for the disenfranchised everywhere. This is for every Flint Michigan in the world. This is for the powerless this is for the powerful who take advantage of the powerless and You can hang me for that. I don't really care. That's why I'm proud to be part of this and the hero Thank you very much. It comes down to two things. There's fair and there's unfair and I'm always going to vote for the fair I'm always going to pull for the good guys. Thanks for that. This means a lot But that is classily blow hearty. It's weird that he found a receptive audience at the side. Well, I love what he said You can hang me. Yeah, why are we hanging them because he said he was So he comes down on On the side of the powerless, right and the poor Again, but that's what I got. He wants the franchise ease of the disenfranchised I'll show you the camera and you can see it at amcroll.com or carcass.com, but if you See you will see this huge Thing sitting in the middle of the track or maybe that's Oh, there it is. Yeah, by the way when I say middle the track, I I mean the middle It's not eight inches to the right or eight inches to the left At that speed. Did you know what it was? Yeah, I see it that I have I mean, I'm in that world you probably I've hypervigilance disorder I knew there was something on the track and I assumed there's not there's not too many things It would have been somebody I narrowed out Yeah, I knew it was something and maybe it was the second lap that I had to sort of digest it But then this is how you knocked it loose if you want to oh, oh, this is me knocking it That's me going sideways. I always more more sight. That's the they call them tank slappers. That's you getting loose You do that on purpose. No, no, don't do that on purpose I try to not try to avoid that but but I saved it it didn't I didn't didn't come all the way around So you might be the only person on earth that doesn't assume something sitting in the middle of the road is alive or some sort of animal You see a plastic bag you immediately think it's a dog or well If I see like a piece of carpet remnant rolled up in the distance I always assumed that's a homeless guy got run over like I always always do that negative math But on the racetrack there's no most nothing ever Almost never seen any debris that hasn't been tool or car Related once in a while somebody will throw a rod or something like some will blow up and you'll be some parts or something I'll hit your windshield or something like that, but I got a good look at that that thing But yeah, I probably if I didn't do the crazy slide out tank slapper probably could have made it back in a bit with less His brand new, but it is one of those funny things where I just went hey, there's somebody dumber than us here Yeah, no, no, there's no there's in turns out there's not Well, the latest Republican debate went on last Thursday night without Donald Trump and with Trump boycotting Senator Ted Cruz slid Into the front runner spot and took most of the fire from his rivals Senator Marco Rubio blasted Cruz saying his campaign is a lie because he wasn't being truthful about his flip flops on immigration Senator Rand Paul piled on saying Cruz had an authenticity problem Ted was not happy with the idea that everyone was picking on him and said so during the broadcast here's a clip Chris, I would note that the last four questions had been Rand please attack Ted Marco. Please attack Ted Chris. Please attack Ted jab please attack Ted Let me just say this it is a debate sir. Well, no, no a debate actually is a policy issue But I will say this gosh if if you guys say ask one more main question, I may have to leave the stage You know what it's starting to strike me I Was sort of thinking about this like in the future every president is gonna be like they will have graduated from the Groundlings, not not Harvard like like Jeff Ross for president. I used to be at him. Sorry. Sorry, you see me It is more like a snap battle these days You can sit around and talk about the deficit to everyone's fucking blue in the face and everyone just sits there and goes Yeah, I don't know I don't care like but when the other guy snapped the other guy's jock strap We want that guy. Yeah, I was like I was literally thinking I know the sounds insanely pompous But I was like oh, I'd I'd kick all these guys asses like I'd have no Foreign policy or anything. I'd just be up there work in the room Blessing everyone's chops and I swear to God. It's just like trump. Yeah, look trump is mildly amusing. That's kind of what he's doing. He's doing. That's all he's doing trump trump is one of those guys who's It's a funny for it's like she's hot for a Filling the fill in the blank my girl. Yeah, someone who visits someone at a prison, but what I'm saying He is trump is Not funny, but he's funny for a rich politician, you know, developer or guy developed look for guys Guys who develop golf courses traditionally work class clown of their high school I feel pretty safe in that statement, but compared to Jeb Bush and Even Obama and everybody else who started bulbamas loose at least, but I mean all these guys who've come before him He said fucking nonstop laugh right and he's just writing that because evidently we don't have any substance We don't care anymore. We're just all here to see the show So it strikes me that if you had a guy and he took a dude like Baldwin and he went Baldwin Just back off on the fucking environment and the ozone and what's going on and oh and understand the fucking deficit and leaving your Children are better than just start making a well-timed crack go that dude go out there and do to Nero When you're like answering the guy threatened him in your Yeah, dude you did everyone's vote. Yeah, he used to be people would think if you can't be that you can't be off the cuff Because you might offend people and he's proven people like that people want you to offend people Well, I think if you're grooming your next politician It's a little less on the talking points and a little more in the take the UCB Like if you can think our feet. I think you're perceived to be intelligent because you can think quickly and react and at the very least sort of evolve your charisma And ultimately we're all just voting for the person We kind of like or want to hang with or something like we can't help it so Yeah, it's just fucking get in there and start cracking wise but in the future it used to be Whatever was it's like it's like sports announcers ESPN whatever in the past Any sense of humor was considered strike one like we don't you deliver that sports you do it very earnest way It's a lot of gravitas. We don't need any wisecracken wherever well now Having a sense of you now they're all climbing all over each other to do funny things and be fun And do little bits and sketches and whatever formerly had no place no In the broadcast booth at all and just like that's probably gonna go the way the dodo There's not Troy Ackman and Joe Bucks. I don't I don't feel like the booth is the last bastion It looks like a sports center. You know Kenny Main and Keith Olberman these guys were hilarious for sportscasters Right. I think when it comes to politicians. I this is gonna be a new thing and we don't care what Hillary Clinton knows about Foreign policy. She seems up tight. Yeah, it's not funny. Don't want to hang with her And this guy seems like a guy's gonna bust some chops. We need to get Chess even tour to take them on That's the type of guy who can hang or like desniter from twisted sister or something. Yes desniter I'd like me some deep some desniter. Well, and speaking of that. I'll I'll have it for tomorrow because I totally forgot about it until this moment Did you hear about Bernie Sanders folk album? I'd never heard about it. Yeah, it's old. Yeah, and like it's just now coming to light and it's amazing Like he does this land as your land and it is excruciating but But for comic effect Right. I don't know if he knew that I think this got the guy who produced the album said wouldn't it be super weird if we got Bernie to do this And Bernie said this land as your land and kind of talks it and it's Really, but I guess it I don't know Shatner maybe he doesn't know it, but let like Leonard Neymoy when he would sing, but don't you know Like I feel like I don't know why, but That the sound is physically leaving your face Why aren't you the first person who knows aren't you the first why Maxopetta Hey, you're in a band sure aren't sure Why are people so insanely delusional that They don't know that they can sing Like I get it your yoko oh no, you just want to fucking annoy the world like I get you're some sort of annoying ambassador Like your job is just to roam the earth annoying the fuck out of everyone But there are people it just can't sing worth a shit who actually think they can sing I think it just takes one person like if you sing it for someone and they said hey, you have a pretty good voice Then it just clicks right there. Oh my god. I'm gonna be a star Well, you see that on American Idol you see that on all those shows too It's always their lying parents. I think Bernie. I feel like Bernie Sanders is smart enough To know that that was a goof or at least his own weird version of it And I think the guy who produced it would do that he'd find politicians and people that were out of The industry per se and ham do I don't do we have some Gary do you happen to have Why don't you find it? I'll tell you what some of them I'll look for He made this while he was a politician. Yeah, he was like a mayor of somewhere. All right. We'll try to find that song We'll do one more story when he got will Michael Phelps stole the show at Thursday night's Arizona State basketball game When he joined the student section for its famous curtain of distraction, which I can't believe they're left Do you know about this instead of, you know, waving stuff and distracting the free program? - I thought it had something to do with vaginal rejuvenation. - Yes, and it's also this. They open up a curtain and, you know, they'll be some sort of absurd skit or, you know, crazy person running around. Well, this time, it was Michael Phelps, the 18-time Olympic gold medal swimmer. You know, lives in Tempe. - Hold on, I'm still, I still say that's a fluke. - The 18-time gold medalist. - I feel like I could have done that. - Yeah, you can accidentally win at least, but beckers doesn't. - Right. - Yeah, I feel like it would reach-- - Jerries out on feet. - Yeah, 14 or 15 of those were just kind of lucky. - I don't think he even knew he was a swimmer for the first 6 or 7 gold medal. - Yeah. - He was just stretching, yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - The water. - Yeah, we love sports. - He appeared behind the curtain of distraction as a visiting player was at the foul line, wearing only his speedo, a swim cap, and all of his gold medals. He came out at a little dance. He was flanked by two doughy shirtless guys, all Chris Farley in the bow tie. Here's a clip. He was using Tempe as his home. - The curtain of distraction. - See if he's lined up. - I should've freezed through it. - And then he'll open it up. (crowd cheering) - Gary, I know there's your rivals. - Wow. - This is good. - This is fantastic. - I love to admit that. This is very good. - Oh! - It worked. - And it worked. - One more. - It worked with his reaction. - He's crazy they're allowed to do this. - You know why this is great? 'Cause Michael was such a good swimmer. He didn't go to college. So he's getting his college experience. - There he is. - Out there again, we're so speedy. (crowd cheering) - Let's see if he makes a sign. - No! - It's so perfect. It's perfect. - Many missed a buzz. - And they said, - And if you're the guy at the stripe, you're a little disappointed in the moment, but historically good that you miss them both. - Yep. - That won't last. - That won't last. - And it'll be something you'll look back on 20 years from now. Otherwise, no one will have ever heard of you. Missing them both. Perfect. - And by the way, an additional one to two point advantage per home game with the curtain. - Oh! - The percentages on the road of opponents free throws is something like a 20 point differential. Like it's significant. - Well, you know, what I don't get is like in golf, you have to shut the fuck up the guy's hiding. - Right. - I don't what's different between a six foot pot and a 13 foot free throw. - I can't believe this is legal, I think it's funny, but I'm totally shocked I get away with it. - Yeah, maybe it's 12 foot and 10 feet. - 10 feet. - 10 feet out, 10 feet out. - Yeah, I was doing it magically. - Okay. - It doesn't make sense. - Either way, it should either be legal or not, but let's have more of this. - Absolutely. - And then at some point, this is what the internet's for people. - Somebody's gonna, the good news about this is, I'll tell you how it's gonna go away. Somebody is gonna come out and they're going to be doing their version of Obama and they're gonna have blackface or something and that's all it's all gonna go. Somebody's gonna do something that has to do with Katelyn Jenner or something like that. - Katelyn. - That'll eat that. - Katelyn and then the curtain distractions could be awful. - It's all, it'll be one, it'll be just a, they're gonna ratchet it up and ratchet up and ratchet up, whatever it is. We'll be having that conversation where somebody goes, well, I can't believe this was passed by 20 people and they thought it was a good idea like, how come nobody or it'll be like, in this day and age, how come no one said, there'll just be one. - It'll just keep it. - It'll ratchet up the cross the line. It'll be something racially driven or something. It'll be completely misconstrued, but either way, that'll be the end of that. - Yep. - That's exactly how it's gonna end. - Okay. - So I think we have a little taste of Bernie's thing and if you like. - All right. Come on, Katelyn. (upbeat music) - Katelyn's that fish. And I went walking, that driven of highway, I saw above me, that endless skyway. I saw below me, that golden valley. This land was made for you and me. ♪ This land is your land ♪ ♪ This land is my land ♪ ♪ And tell it for me ♪ ♪ This land is your land ♪ ♪ And tell it for me ♪ - All right. He knows he can't say. - I think he does. - He's just talking. - There's more. - Yeah, there's more. - He didn't look like he was in on the joke. - Oh, he's, first off, he's Jewish. So they invented comedy. - That's true. - He's not dumb and he's just talking. I don't think he knows. - That's a goof. - Well, I don't think, if he had then done his subsequent alms or arranged a tour or something, that's a guy thought he could sing. Somebody roped him, it wasn't his idea. And he looks like he's 53 to 60 at the time. So he's like, you don't just go, oh, I can sing now. - This is my nose, my time. - Yeah, I think somebody grabbed him and he just walked his way through it. He doesn't strike me as a guy. I got a ton of pussy in high school. - No, I've never thought that. - Yeah, I wouldn't bet on that. - I think we could, do you think we could find guys that were in their early 70s and go, that guy, fucking dick, never saw sunlight. And that guy never got laid. - I think I said, I think I said the party. - I feel like Bill Clinton, he's probably about 70 by now, isn't he? - Yeah. - Bill Clinton probably did pretty well. He's a personality guy, you know what I mean? I'm sure he was very charming. Good person guy. But Bernie, I think you're right. Is a guy who probably was on the upper end. - Oh, Bernie. - Who's got more pussy than Clinton? - There's a yearbook picture, Bernie. I'm not feeling it. - Now, and he probably had the same-- - Oh, he was captain of the track team. - I'll bet you was a long distance. - Yeah, he had to run long, get, keep running. All right, let's bring it home. - You got it, I'm Gina Grad, and that's the news. ♪ Gina Gina Grad ♪ - That was the news with Gina Grad. So, until next time, I'm gonna call for Matt Bessert, Gina Grad and Bald Bryan Sam. Mahala. - I didn't have a dog, and I didn't need my cock. (upbeat music) - All right, those Adam Crowell show, 1747. To the next, we have Adam Crowell show, 1980. This was from January of 2017. And we have another improv scene between Adam and Bald Bryan. Bryan was amazing and improv. He went and actually got better. He was naturally gifted from the start, but he actually went to classes and honed up his skills and got really precise with his improv. And in addition to his interesting takes and talking on air and, of course, his drop work, he became a really loyal and key comedic partner for Adam to rely on. This is Adam Crowell show, it was 1980. With Derek Raell, Gina Grad and Bryan Bishop, January of 2017. - Good day, Gina Grad. - Good day to you. - And Bald Bryan. - Yeah, well, there you go. - Who's your favorite? - How, let me say this. I've been accused of being in a mood, a time or two. - By who? - Come on. - What monster? - It happens. But this guy, you tell me who this guy is and then you tell me what he could be like in a situation that was more adverse. I was walking Philly cheese steak yesterday. I was doing what I always do, which is I had my buck slip. I had my dog and I had my phone. And what I was gonna do is take this, you know, people say, well, you're writing a book, you're doing a documentary, doing TV show, you do a podcast, how you do all that stuff. I go, well, here's how you do it. You get a buck slip, you make a whole big long list of stuff you need to do. And then you delegate as you walk your dog. So, a lot of me and the porcelain punisher on the phone, walk in Philly cheese steak. - What? - A deal of negligence. - At a certain point. And there's certain things where I will just literally say to him, I'll put out a word. I'll just go like, end table. And he'll go, what does that mean? What do you wanna do? And I'll just remind me to say end table when I see you later on today. And then there's other stuff will be more specific. Call this guy, call that guy. All right, so I'm walking Philly down. And you guys tell me, and everybody tell me, 'cause it's an interesting thing. And tell me if it hasn't changed or how you roll. I'm walking through my neighborhood. My neighborhood is not a windy, hilly neighborhood, but it's a little bit hilly. And a list, got a couple of turns to it. And when I walked Philly cheese steak, I alternate. Sometimes I'm walking, the direction traffic is going, but sometimes I'm walking toward traffic. And the reason I walk toward traffic on these narrow-ish streets oftentimes is for they realize everyone is texting now, or they're doing, I don't know what. And it was always a thing in the past where it's like, hey, the safe direction is to go. What do I mean? It's always like what you should do when you have a grizzly bear behind you is turn your back. Just turn slowly turn and don't look at it. And then walk super slowly and hope things work out. Like, hey, there's a Denali. It's 6,700 pounds. There's a wife who's on a little cocktail of meds. The Dr. Drew's prescribed for anxiety and sleep apnea and seasonal allergies. And she's getting a text from her daughter that's explaining that she's dropping out of her lesbian college. And we're all going, the same direction except for me and Philly's combined weight is 355 I'm 200 and their combined weight is 6900 pounds and we're moving four miles an hour and they're moving 41 miles an hour and I feel like this could not turn out well for me. You're the disadvantage. I'd rather be the guy with his head on a swivel seeing that person starting to list over toward the curb and be able to hop up on the curb or slip in behind the parked car and you can push Philly in front of the car to absorb some of these parts. This is basically those trash trucks that they filled with sand that they used in Times Square for the big New Year's rock and eve that blocked off a lot of arteries by taking trash cans and filling so we didn't have something went on in Europe over here. That's what Philly is. He's the canine version of one of those trash trucks filled with sand so he would protect you. Absolutely. And it's the way he would have wanted it as well. So I was walking down the street and I was walking with the oncoming traffic coming toward me and I came to that patch where there's three or four cars parked in this case trucks because they were like working on a house and I saw like an SUV coming toward me and I did the move where me and Phil slid in between the two bumpers the rear bumper and the front bumper of the two trucks and tell the car pass us by but as the car passes by the you know 50-year-old dude shook his fist and like other side other side there's like frantically waving other side and at first I was a little confused like what did I do or what's he talk I don't know what he means and then the second thing I realized is he wants me walking with traffic on the other side of the road again like I said with a lot of teens texting and literally your margin of errors 31 inches yeah we are on one of those streets and the person's driving you know the speed limit is 25 or 35 and the person's doing 41 and again if another car's coming by at the same time or something your margin errors about three foot there and I don't like that margin of error no and and what's it to him different states have different rules I don't know but what I see just in my house on a daily basis is enough to make most men want to kill themselves I can't admit this guy was at this guy was at about 11 with me I always do this one too and I swear there's not enough of this made context context first off 52-year-old whitey walking his purebred dog through the neighborhood not escaped mental patient gang banger repelling in from from from a fucking hewie with a machete stuffed in my underpants this is I must be someone who lives in the neighborhood yes it's unlikely you're up to no good yeah I almost unless I started my trek in Kanoga Park there's a very high likelihood that I live within I would say the over under is an eighth or quarter of a mile from where we stand right now she blocks yes walking a dog on a leash in the middle of the on a Wednesday morning you don't have a bindle right I don't have the hamburglers mask or the bindle yes so first off let's do contacts like you I may be two houses from you or I may see you at the trader Joe's later on today like number one number two I said paper what is what what threat does this pose to you and then also whoever you are maybe it's Ralph Nader or something and he says it's super stickler for safety but if this is where you're at simply driving down the street I believe on a Tuesday morning at 10 a.m. with a guy who's walking his lovable Labrador where do we go when you we find out your wife's cheating or it's it's someone's an alcoholic or your son comes out or something actually does happen to you where were we at then because this was hands flailing in the air frantic semi-four get it over to the other side with a horn honk yeah that's insane what if he goes the other way hey you really some damage my car there man he's in the hospital but oh yeah oh yeah you know hey look I understand he shows up his phone his problem important now he's he's he's yeah he's being cuckolded duct tape your rocking chair while his wife takes it in the keyster and he's like going all right if we could get this over before jeopardy starts giving it to your wife right now I understand that she's loving it like she's never loved loving in many years maybe ever Julian's a wonderful individual we've had 26 years of fabulous marriage you call her Julian I'll call her that dirty bitch well again that's language you would choose I wouldn't it's easy enough she chose it she said my old man never talked to me that way you know not to get back to jeopardy again but it does start in 20 oh now 26 minutes oh yeah yeah ironically the number of years Julian and I've been married so if you could just go ahead and drop a loan or hair I'll be done soon we'll be on session number two by then oh that's right you fellas can go multi-round oh yeah oh okay cheese I wonder if I could you know I wonder if I could bring the TV set in here well what would you mind hold on a second I suppose it good you wouldn't mind if I watch a little jeopardy while your balls deep in my wife at 26 years that'd be all right sir I guess it became the volume down oh well hold on I don't know why this reminded me of it but I don't don't pull out or anything yet no what will not do I I'm driving my Cherokee down Berkshire today right yeah it's street runs parallel in the back max out here the Cherokee sport of the Cherokee standard it doesn't matter I see some guy wearing mismatched sweatpants in a top uh-huh walk in a huge dog right he gets one side of the street he's on does the other don't pull out on the one I know I'm still going I'm still going I'm subtle movements I'm throbbing my he's walking he's coming at me he's not going the direction of the traffic that everyone else would go he's coming at me he's with his dog he's on the wrong side of the street yeah you should she's starting to chafe you should roll her into no she's good no she likes it now we're gonna listen I never done any of these positions I couldn't anyway I'm sorry disguise walking at me with this dog while he's talking on his phone well here's on the middle of the street uh he's off to the side well I'm pulling in between two truck power but he's standing there going the wrong direction there was almost no chance you could add him that's where they we got upset about that all right could you please tell me I want to jeopardy and see yeah I don't know what this guy does do or will do or can do I don't know but obviously I didn't catch him on a good day for the rules yeah I didn't catch him on a day but uh give me a worst case scenario I get run over you know what I mean this is not let me dented fender hooding the old blood spot on it yeah you you getting a high kelly blue book for a Cherokee with 250 thousand miles on it that's a worst case scenario all right uh let's see speaking of black voices I don't know why but this I it's something that just jumped into my head where are we speaking of black voices uh or well I just keep going okay the the the and Gary you tell me but the uh starting defense of the Pittsburgh Steelers is 11 black fellas once in a while you get that uh scrappy hard hitting little undersized uh free safety yeah this is not or the runstopper this is not that I do believe as they ran through it you know they're high from the University of it is the best especially when they give their high school um that they are all african-american defensive squad okay can I tell you for the blackest and uh in the NFL and I don't know what percentage of defenses are all black it's like I said there's usually a loop peakly that gets brought right in there all times the metal linebacker all right right I I would say it's less than 20 percent that is not one not one blue eyed devil in there but they're all black and so uh and in a in a time with some of the craziest uh black names on the planet that the brickashaws and the latinians and all that kind of stuff um leave an adjuster all I will give you I will give you their their their two names I'm I did not bat a thousand here but there's 11 there's 11 guys on it there is a jivon and there is a Jarvis which is sort of old school white guy in a weird way yeah but I That's Iron Man's suit. Sean, Mike, Arty, Bud, Ryan, Stefan, Lawrence, and Ricardo. I mean, are these the unblackest? There's a Bud in an Arty and a Ross. There's a black guy named Ross. We found him. It sounds like you're doing the Mickey Mouse Club roll call. Really, Sean, Mike, Arty, Ross, Bud, Ryan, Lawrence, Jarvis, Ricardo, Javon, and Stefan. Wow. That I don't think anything gets much wider. I'm going Jarvis is an old white guy's name. It could be the old, the politician from the south or whatever, but it's also a black name. But still out of 11 brothers, the idea that you even have an Arty, a Ross, and a Bud on the same squat. The second string is not much different. On the second string, there is a white guy on there, but as far as the black guys with names, you might not think, Daniel Arthur, Vince, William, and Robert. What? It sounds like the crew team. Everybody else has a Pac-Man, and a centipede, and a Hanah, and he hate me, and the greatest names of the world, especially the DB, so some great, you know, some great defensive back names. I feel let down by this. Bud and Ross, Arty, disappointing. Jesus Christ, my all black, right? All right. Yes. This is why it takes me a long time to get through football game and a lot of pausing and going through all these crazy names. All right, those Adam Krolyso 1980, coming for our final foot today is Adam Krolyso, 2122, featuring Brett Rand Paul, Gina Graham Bryan Bishop, no Brett in this portion, from July of 2017. Adam Krolyso, yeah, get it on, got to get it on, no chance of it going to mandate, get it on, thanks for tuning in, thanks for telling a friend, we love that about you. Good day, Gina Graham. Good day to you. Good ball run. Don't hunt, game in. Simple story. Yeah. If you, it's like a long list of things I could come up with, which as a nation, if you have to deny, like if you have to deny ethnic cleansing, they're very agitated. They're very agitated. Is this your international fox worthy bit? If you have to deny, you might be a war criminal. You might be. I've always said like it's because because Mark Erigas is Armenian and what? Armenians are, they want the Turks to admit the genocide, the Turks won't give an inch on it. But I will say you're sorry. I've always said denying a genocide is like denying your snoring when the person next you wakes you up in the middle of the night goes, you were snoring, like you were snoring. I've dealt with a lot of human beings in my life where they just go, I don't snore. It's like you may not be a snorer, but you're snoring now, like you'd literally be the last person who would know. So why are you? So wouldn't it make me an insane person? Like I don't think I don't think people do enough of this. Wouldn't I be not only insane, but one of the worst people you know, if my MO was while you silently and blissfully sleep and slumber and peace at 4.37 in the AM, I shake you violently and tell you to stop doing something that you're not doing would be like the indicate we reverse engineer this what when you say to me, I don't snore and I wasn't snoring. What does that make me that makes me super bored in the wee hours of the night? It makes me a sadist, but also between insane, correct. I kind of say the same thing about genocide, which is if a whole nation accuses your nation of genocide and you have nothing to do with it, that's a pretty insane assertion, right? Hey, bro, we've been friends for a long time, right? Yep. Years I would say. And there's roommate things working out when I asked you to move in six months ago and you said, all right, I was nervous, of course, you have friendships and all that stuff, but last night, middle of the night, you committed genocide. I don't genocide, dude. Well, it'd be weird to me to make that up, but I'm telling you, as your friend, I don't think anyone's going to tell you this. You probably know what's told you just before in your life, you committed genocide last night. I may have killed an extreme number of a certain people, but I don't think that falls under the heading of genocide. Well, we're surrounded by bodies and they're all of the same race and you definitely seem single-minded in purpose. Yeah, I may confuse these metaphors, but next time just turn on the ceiling fan and mellow out. I've got to drown it out. Yeah, drown out the genocide. I'll try that. With the slow white noise, the white noise of the ceiling fan. I'm not judging. I'm just saying, if somebody is accusing you of ethnic cleansing genocide, snoring, or cleansing your lands of gays, first off, what I would call a tell is you saying, that is no gay here. Like that. Oh, okay. Maybe there is just a couple of road tests too much. No, I do not do that. Right. One road you can go down. Yeah. The proper answer is not that there is no gays or that all of it not allowed gays or that the gays should move to Canada. The proper answer for, well, let's just go to Trudeau in Canada. I hear you've been rounding up, persecuting, torturing, and driving off gay people. What? That's what he's talking about. I don't even know what that means. That's the answer. Not that we have no gays. I'm afraid I'm afraid you would bring it up if nobody's gay. When they asked our Kelly, if he's interested in teenage girls, instead of saying, what? No, he goes, well, how old is he now? Two days, covers about six, seven years. Yeah. She gave me 19. Yeah. In many cultures. By the way, whenever there's in many cultures, that's like when the scientists go when they do that. Well now, there is a bear that's indigenous to the Galapagos Islands who likes to spit on their partner when they have sex. So don't tell me it doesn't exist in nature. Yeah. Rest in peace, Brian, I'll archive your work forever, I'll never stop thinking about you. We all love you. Malah, and get it on. Hello, and welcome to Pluto, foe. We're all your bloodbusters favorites are landing all summer long. Fantastic. The Matrix trilogy. Mean Girls. Side up. Titanic. And so much more. For showtime. Press. Nothing. They're free. 24/7. On Pluto TV. Stream now. Pay never. Podcasting isn't just about talking. It's about growing and gauging and monetizing. And that's where Podcast One Pro comes in. Whether you're an independent creator or a major brand, Podcast One Pro gives you the tools you need to take your podcast to the next level. We're talking about premium hosting, advanced analytics, dynamic ad integration, and expert distribution, all designed to maximize your reach and revenue. Plus, with access to Podcast One's industry leading network, you'll be connected to top-tier advertisers and a massive audience. 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