The episode blends personal parenting experiences with broader societal issues, including the normalization of sexualized content online. The hosts discuss a controversial ad featuring Sydney Sweeney, which shows her nude and in a sexual pose, sparking debate about objectification and the objectification of women in media. They express discomfort with the ad’s overt nature and its potential to influence young audiences, especially in the context of social media. This ties into larger concerns about body exposure, privacy, and consent—particularly around breastfeeding or maternity, which the hosts argue should remain private and respectful. The conversation extends to spiritual abuse, highlighted by a documentary on a religious leader’s manipulation of church members, emphasizing the dangers of unchecked power and emotional control. The hosts also reflect on personal routines, sleep struggles, and emotional fatigue as new parents, stressing the importance of structure and self-care. Throughout, the episode advocates for personal boundaries, emotional integrity, and mindful consumption of media, especially content that shapes how women and families view themselves in public. Ultimately, it serves as a reminder to balance hope and honesty in parenting, while remaining vigilant about the cultural messages that influence daily life.
- Breastfeeding to me is not an excuse to put your shoes on the internet. - That's my hot take. - I am currently breastfeeding right now on the internet. - Cover your cover. - I'm just kidding. - I know why! - There's so much studies coming out about the effects of pornography on the brain. - Genuinely, people that are trying to avoid it just cannot avoid it. - As a mom. - We've always known that this is gonna be something we're gonna have to tackle. It feels like that envelope is getting like push more and more. - My mother-in-law calls my baby by the name, she likes rather than the one we chose. (laughing) That's a TV show. (laughing) - They told me I need to drive the car before buying a.k.a. sleep with their son before marriage. (laughing) He's having good time. (laughing) (upbeat music) - Welcome back to Always Here. - Where are your host Abby Howard? - In Abby Howard. - It always feels so funny to do in that 'cause we're just talking the whole time before and then, but I like this 'cause then I'm like, okay, zip it up. Get your energy back up. (laughing) - Really, really. - Get it together, get it together. - Well, we are here to share the hope and the hard with heart and humor. We like to start our episodes with the hope and a hard. - Cheers, I already sucked mine down, my coffee. - Thank you for making me that by the way. - Yeah, so does it feel weird about the milk's temperatures? - It's a little, it's a little weird. I thought so. That's why I sucked it down. - I just kinda get it. - I was actually not gonna sip on this one. - Abby made a latte with cold milk. (laughing) - Well, it was a hot latte. - It was a hot latte with cold milk and that's, hey, we'll take what you can get at this point. - Yeah. Okay, well, what's your hope? My hope is that fish has been only waking up once in the night. - What? - Already? - Yeah. I mean, he did wake up at 5.30 this morning. - Yeah, it's early. - But, one time, ain't bad. - So, one time in the mill and I around two. - Yeah. - And then you're up for the day at 5.30. - That's a very time. - Today I was, but the other day's it's been six or later. Usually, but, yeah, this one was 5.30. - That's a hard time. - It was 5.33. Well, then I fed him, then I fed him, and then I just went on the walk. - Yeah, you're like, I can't go to bed now. - Oh, yeah, no. 'Cause this, well, also my kids wake up early. So, it was about that time anyway. - Perfect. - No, but it was good. I'll take one wake up and an early wake up for the day rather than multiple wakeups and then sleeping to like eight. You know what I mean? - What time do you go to bed? - Uh, like 10. - See, that's late. That's his feed and then two, and then 5.30. See, I used to be, you're still not getting like eight hours. - Yeah, no, no. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not getting eight hours. - Yeah, I feel like that's two. - Really? - 10 and two, 'cause technically, is he asleep before the 10? - Uh, yeah. Are you asleep before the 10? - No, no. Then that's one. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I wouldn't be able to go to bed at 8. I don't think that he would go to bed for the night at 8. Like, he's kind of restless at that time. He's like, kind of in and out of sleep. That watching hour, we're getting hit with that, but nobody do. - Oh my gosh, I just unlocked. I forgot Vivi had that for like, watching an hour. - Remember, it was at 11 p.m. until like two, it was really weird for a couple weeks. - Oh, I feel like watching hours normally like 5 p.m. until like 11 p.m., that's just like one week. And I was like, he, that's gonna change. - It did. - That's the thing. It'll change. - It'll change. - It'll change, you know, it just, but that's the problem. - What's your hope? - My hope, let me go back, I wrote it down. - Oh, I'm back in the routine yesterday. No, I'm sorry, two days ago, on Monday. You know, we got back Wednesday. Thursday, I was basically a lump log from just being tired from the trip and spent the whole day with the kids. And then Friday was kind of a busy work day. And so Saturday, Sunday, I was like, let's not do anything, but we kind of did a lot. So I just feel like we didn't really-- - Yeah, I saw you Saturday and Sunday. - Yeah, actually Saturday, we were in home at all. So I was like, this wasn't really, we didn't have a day to just sit, really, which was fine. But then on Monday, I said, that's the day I'm getting back in the routine because it's beneficial for me and the kids. And I feel great. I mean, to streamly store, I went back to the gym last two days, like probably hurt my wrist. I don't know, I'm just like, what's going on? But you know what, it feels so good to be back. Yeah, it feels good to get in the routine and just rip the band-aid off. It helps your motivation get back up, you know? - Yeah, yeah. - I'm like, I'm someone that before kids, I was like, I don't like routine, I don't like any things every day. - Same. - And then now I'm like, we need that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, we need that. Everyone's better. We all thrive in it. - Yes. - So it's been really good to feel back kind of in an under a number of these are our days. - So that's great. It's good. - Yeah. - What's your heart? - My heart is that, that my baby won't take a binky. - Yeah, that is hard. - I never really, yeah, I would have thought that would be a really good idea because we've had binky addicts. Previously, but no, it's a little bit, they're kind of nice. - Yeah. - We're not replacing the binky in the night, but he can't really de-escalate without. Yeah, I'm like, what if he becomes a thumb sucker? Because he can't just possibly pacify with me constantly. - Right. - Right, like what if he just sucks his thumb? What have you done that already? - No way. - No, I don't think so. So, maybe we're on the road for that. I keep trying with the binky. I've tried multiple. I've actually tried four different kinds. I even talked to his pediatrician about it. She was like trying to give me tips on how to get him to do it. And then she was also like, some babies just don't. 'Cause he has like a really high palate. Have you seen it, Adi? - No. - The roof of his mouth goes up like a mountain. - Is that good or bad or what is that? - I don't know. - What is that effect? - A lot of usage. - I feel like it probably will go, like as he gets bigger. - I imagine that he will be an amazing singer or something. I don't know. - He's got the windpipe. Lots of room for wind in there. - He can read the name. - He's my brother will be incredible. - He's insane. - Yeah, she was like, oh, yeah. See, look in here. His power's pretty high. I was like, oh, my God. - Maybe he'll be like Joey Chess. - Like a chipmunk? - Like a champion hot dog eater. (laughing) - I wouldn't get that really high. Like, you know, nothing's blocking. - Okay. - Well, full bun. - Yeah. - The world is your oyster face. - You got her. - The future's bright. - The future's bright for him. - Blake for us. 'Cause I mean, gosh, are me specifically. - I have become Labinky. (laughing) - Really happy game. - That's great. But, you know, he's a month old, it'll change. It could change. - Yeah, but it might. You never know. - We can be stuck with this. - Fun. - Three years later. (laughing) - He's still using me. (laughing) - Okay, and a stuck. - All right. - Well, what's your heart? - That is tough. I'm sorry. - It's not that big of a deal. But, it is-- - It's pressing. - It's inconvenient. - And the car, especially when you so upset, I'm like, I wish I could just pop a binky in your mouth. - Yeah. - So bad. - He's just raddling his cry. - I'm like, breathe. (laughing) - I'm like, blow on his face. - Someone used it. - People used to always say, there's a song, what's it called, to play for them? It's like the baby, the happy song. And they people like said it, this is it. This is a song, it works like a charm. So I would play it. We would just be playing the song and screaming. - Now we get to say it to our members. - It's more of a sympathy than it. But people say this works. So I'm like, (laughing) - Matt does that. He'll play music to just lighten the mood. 'Cause it's so sad with the baby crying. I'm like, I am so, I don't use that word often. - But that is overstimulating. - Yeah, it's too much. 'Cause then also our other kids are trying to talk. Just be like, "Mom, dad, it's like the music." And then one screaming, two talking, music playing. - I can't cut it out for my thought. - Yeah, yeah. - I can actually really know. - And driving? - To a world. - I'm already in a bad drive right here. - A conversation. He just had a podcast playing in the background. I'm like, paused. (laughing) - I can't get, I'm listening to sports. - This is the fourth part of the football game. - Live stream that he's listening to. - And I'm like, "Hey, you got to pick one." So I make him put one on mute, 'cause that's just ridiculous. - Both have the volume on. - Full volume. - Loud. - I'm like, "That's actually rude. "You don't get two volumes in this house. "In this house." - Where's my volume? - Where's my volume? - Yeah, I'm like trying to listen to my TikTok so it's quiet as possible. I'm like, "What, I'm in it." - Wait a minute. This is a pair. - No wait, I was gonna say, we have a song that we sing in the car. - Oh. - And it works for both of them. You can insert children's name here. ♪ We go C, J, C, J, Ho, Ho, Ho, ♪ - C, J, C. - Make some happy, J. - Ha, ha, ha. They just kinda stop 'cause they hear their name. No, he doesn't know his name yet. But then they kinda like the song and C, J, C, H, H, H. C, J, C, J, C, J, C, J, 1, 2, 3. (laughing) - They just loop it. - You know? - Okay. - And we'll do a Vivian. - It's effective, so. - Make sure. - Do it, give him a, yeah, give him a, ooh, ooh, ooh. - C, J, A. - Ha, ha, higher shot. Our poor back. - Yeah, I can try it. - My heart. - My heart. - My heart. - This is so silly. I said vacation, hangover is real. We really need some new goals. - Yeah. - That's real. - Specifically Caleb is such a goal-oriented person. And he's gotten back from this vacation. He's like, life, we need more meaning. Like what is the next thing? You know, you just, that was such a big goal. Like financial, marriage, fitness, quality time, travel, it was just all the big things. It was every, what, every category, what? Every, what? - No, you're making so much sense. I just got a thought that distracted me. (laughing) I was like, you could try the song a lot, man. (laughing) - Caleb, Caleb, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. That was just so, I was like, I'm not gonna say it. But then that really was cracking me up. - Maybe you like it. - Try it. - It's a song, it's a during. - It could shock us.
out of it. No that's hard. It just starts to get to it. Rub it in his back. Yeah that's the same way. Yeah. Yeah it's like after you hit a goal it's just been. And I kind of felt it too just low motivation. So I said today because it's been a couple days now because you've also been going through like a transition too. Yeah he's waiting for his next career move and so he just feels discontent which I feel like we all have seasons like that. So I know I feel like vacations do bring that out of you. I remember when we went to visit you guys in Hawaii and we were in Kansas City that was kind of a shake up to us. We're like hey we've gotten really comfortable and this trip has been really out of our comfort zone and so amazing. So we kind of felt like that was the time to do something uncomfortable and move. That's when we moved to Arizona. And I felt like the kill kind of felt that from the trip. You know it was like a good shake up kind of out of his routine and it's like okay I'm ready for the future. Yeah. And so I think for us now is like tonight we need to sit down and journal and pray and like just set new goals and see what comes you know. So let's see yeah yeah that's exciting also. I know I think it's a great place to be. But the vacation hangover was real. That's tough. Totally. Life is so hard you know you go to Italy and then I actually know I would get that as a kid. I would literally get that as a kid. So bad. I remember just being like so out of sorts when we get home from trips. Did your mom stay for longer. It was amazing. Yeah she stayed two extra days. Which that was an original plan. We actually had our flight times mixed up for when we were getting back. She's supposed to leave before we even got back. And then she switched her flight to two days later and it was perfect because it kind of gave us Thursday to just we were dead. Yeah. Like so tired. And then Friday was really busy. So it was kind of the perfect ease. Your parents crushed it. They did. They really did. It was so sweet. I'm like I have the best parents. I mean we're the best families like in laws and parents. But my parents shot out because my mom even slept in an air mattress pushed up against the day's bed those last two days. I think about that a lot. That's I know very selfish. Sacrificial like she's late 60s and an air mattress in her and I'm sure she's making her up early. So early climbing up that with her. I mean just so sweet. She's just such a good sport about it. Yeah they had such a good time. I think it's really cool thing and we're going to get into it too. But like all of us have left our kids with our parents for at least a few days at a time now. And I'm like not everyone can say that they would like trust their parents to do that. It's like that's so cool that like we we have that or their parents would be willing to even do that. Like yes. I mean that's a lot like we're used to doing it day in and day out. But like if you've been out of that game for 25 years. Yeah. That's a shot. Well that's what my mom kept when we were playing this trip. I said I'm not booking a trip without dad being able to come to because seven days alone with two kids. A dog is in a dog is a lot and even for me I'm their mom. You know more than three or four days you're kind of like oh my gosh I just would love you back honey. Yeah. So I was like that's it's just too much and she's like no I can do it I can do it. I insist it's like no no no. So afterwards she said yeah I'm really glad your dad was. Because yeah you're just not used to that level of energy. Yeah at all. So yeah I'm so grateful. It's been amazing. Thank you to Hungry Root for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. I personally love a meal service kit and I love when there are minimal ingredients, minimal steps, minimal dishes and Hungry Root has nailed it. So we got the opportunity to create a cookbook with Hungry Root. Our cookbook is a personal collection of our favorite recipes and grocery items. Hungry Root built a delivery service that brings together meal kit convenience with groceries to a variety to deliver everything from daily staples to nourishing dinners that are personalized to be exactly what you want to eat. Some of the meals that I picked were the bison and veggie skillet and aciago chicken sandwich chicken strips. These are salad wrap the variety that Hungry Root offers is amazing everything from American to Italian, Middle Eastern. They just have something for everyone and the quality of the meat is unbelievable. I am shocked by it. We got bison. We got Wagyu beef. We also have in our cookbook some of the ready-to-go meals from their grocery section, Mediterranean style chicken formables and the lemon herb chicken with fair otherwise I picked out. Very easy for a lunch or a last minute meal. Floor our digital cookbook on Hungry Root today and find recipes that are right for you. Go to HungryRoot.com/alwayshere to access our cookbook, always hungry with Abby Howard. Should we go while that's crazy? Yeah, we have a water while that's crazy today so we really got to get into it. I've been going on that has been crazy. We got some crazy things. I haven't even thought about any of these with you guys. We haven't. I personally have not deep breathed with you guys. Yes, these are good. Well the first one to kick off. Did you guys see the Sydney's mean? Yes. I'm not even going to say the name of the company because that's what they want. We want us to talk about it. I'm not giving them this satisfaction. I didn't know about this until our call on Monday. Yeah, so you can't explain it. Well, for people that might not. For sports betting app and they didn't add with Sydney's media partnership and it's quite honestly the most explicit ad I've ever seen in my life. And I think that's what's shocking about it. I'm like, oh this is the new line. I don't even think it's a TV ad. I don't know if it'd be a lot to be put on television. There's no way that would be a lot. It's on her Instagram. I think it's an Instagram ad. There's no way that that could go on television. I don't think so. She's basically fully nude. I mean, she's fully nude and she has a different bowl, different sports equipment. Covering her various private areas. That was on the call as they were like telling me to find it. And I was like, whoa, whoa, they're like, keep scrolling. I'm like, I know. I'm like, wow, they did that. I mean, there was, the reason we talk about it is because there was a whole conversation that I actually didn't understand to be honest. I feel like all these girls started posting, this is what real women in sports look like. Yes, was that confused about that? No, was that the argument? I, let's go back to the beginning of the, what the ad is. It's a sports betting app. It's a sports betting app that only you can bet on sports. All of these other betting sports sites, you can bet on other things. You can bet on politics. You can bet on Derby's. You can bet on wars as well. I do think she maybe talked about that, but to be honest, I didn't hear a word. She's like, and me there. So it's not better than a man. The ad and none of you guys responded to my text. So you said, we were going to do that. And I said sports. None of you like, I didn't get it. I thought you didn't finish your text. That's all she said in the ad. Like at the end, I was just on this. I didn't get it because I didn't hear it. I was also on the call. I was like, I was just distracted by my visual. I was like, whoa. I was like, they, either it's going to be really funny or not. And you just, I'm sorry. I didn't think you finished the text. Sorry. It's like, you guys didn't watch the ad. No, I didn't. I didn't. I just watched. I didn't listen to it. Yeah, that was all I called. It's just sports. It's like the theme of the ad. Like, just sports. That's all the betting is clear. Also, did you guys know she is a strategic partner and equity holder in this company? Oh, so she created the ad. She created the ad. She said, I think this is what we should do. But I think that is a completely different. That's a side of the world than men being like, Sidney Sweeney, you should do this ad. You know, I didn't realize that. Like having the idea probably of being like, yeah, let's do it. I mean, let me tell you something, they know their target audience. I think that's what made me sad though. I was like, dang. Yes, you, I'm sorry. What? No, my first thought was I was sad as well, but I was just sad that I don't look like that. I was like, I'm not going to be mean. Well, I would have a pity party now. She looks amazing. Oh, of course. My second thought was I just, I don't know that I want to know, but I'm so curious. The logistics behind the shot of her spreading goal on the basketball. Do how did they do that? Do you think she had a tiny little plastic thing? Or is that like a different one? She just actually straddling that neckie. I'm going to give my full opinion. Let me watch it again. No, please don't. No. I was literally just like, my first thought was like, I'm not attracted. No, like my first thought was like, wow, she wow. Shocking. She looks amazing. Look at the pictures. I don't watch the video. I'm looking at the pictures. What are the logistics behind that? I know. Honestly. Like, is her whole business up in that basketball? Up in that basketball. And I have to assume it is because how do you hide that? I don't know. With the shot that they had, we saw her whole head. I play her so many people around. Was there a sticker over it? I don't know. In which case? I don't want a sticker at least. But at that point, it's also like, honestly, I bet there is. It's something that we managed to touch it up afterwards. You think? You think? I think you can edit that. You think she had underwear on? But even like her getting up on there. Like, how we do this? How we do this whole thing? I've never been a part of a Sunday like that. I don't know. I would assume. I would think in my head. When I was a kid and I think about sex scenes in movies, I was like, oh yeah, they're totally wearing underwear and pasties. But I actually don't think they are a lot of the times. Oh, well, I feel like in movies and stuff, when it's between two people, there's a lot of safety. Really? Yeah. They have a whole coordinator for like intimate scenes. Oh, that's good. Yeah. So they probably had something like that for this. I would think. I don't know. My other thing is that she's a professional. If she's spearheading. That's true. That's actually so interesting. I did not know that. That's an interesting concept. That's the next line of this this article.
that I also think is an important part to think about too, is the data shows that the company's brand awareness surged because of this. - I never heard of it. - And since we, like, she absorbed the personal reputational cost. And so I think she has done a lot of, like, controversial things and she just doesn't, not that she doesn't care, but she's fine to have that controversy and that maybe even, was a thing with this. She's like, I know this is gonna bring up some conversation. - For sure. - Do you feel like women don't like her and men like her? Is that the conversation? - I don't know, I don't dislike her. I just, sometimes I, it's not new. Sometimes I get frustrated with media because it's just the same old tricks done a different way, you know? Like, I'm like, it's not shocking anymore. I mean, I was shocked, but it honestly shouldn't be shocking anymore because it's always the same thing. It's always, like, overtly sexual, woman nude, whatever. I'm like, okay, been there or done that? Like, what's new? Is it better or worse if she is the one that like is, that changes everything for me. - I actually think, look, yeah, I'm like, I don't like that, I like that less. In my head, I'm like, it makes sense if a guy is rationalizing that and is like, oh, this will get the do, you know, make it haughty. But the girl doing it, I'm like that, I'm supposed to a little manipulative. - I think it's better, but it makes me sadder for her. - Yeah, maybe more so, I don't know. - Yeah, I don't know, what do you think? - I don't know. - I know, this is like kind of tricky, actually. I'm like, are we taking my stuff off? - I just want to review this before we cross this. - Yeah, no, I think it makes me a little sadder. I think it makes me sad because-- - I think because, just because-- - It feels like selling your body. - Yeah, yeah. - It feels like you're opting. It's one thing if someone else does something terrible, like, objectify you. It's another thing for you to objectify yourself. - Yeah. - I think it's an interesting thing too because I listen to like a podcast that talks about pop culture stuff and they talked about this on it. Blake listens to a podcast from the same network that is a guys sports podcast and they talked about it, too, on the others. And so, but-- - I don't have a well-formed opinion. - I didn't hear everything about it, but the fact that they're bringing up being like, this is kind of a crazy ad. Like even the guys are being like, this is-- - It's the most important ad of ever seen. - No, I agree. I think there's a lot of talk going around about it right now. But also, I'm like, there's other things that this isn't the only thing we've ever seen that's like, there's, what's like the naked magazines, like where the celebrity is completely, and it's men and women in this. - He does sports. - Sports-illustrated, like, well-- - Yeah, the body edition. - Yeah, like when there's like the covers, either a male or a female naked. - But why does that not feel sexual? Like, it feels to me like that magazine, I'm like, they're naked, but it feels like they're showing off their strengths and their muscle, whereas this was like, it's about sports, but it's really about sex. - Yeah, yeah. - 'Cause I think even in this ad, like, the way she's talking-- - Or the poses that she's in, and things like that, so. - It's very sexual. Yeah, I don't know. I just, I think overall just made me really sad because I don't, men and women both struggle with lust and porn, and it's a huge topic of conversation. I feel like there's so much studies coming out about the effects of pornography on the brain, like secular studies coming out about this, and I'm like genuinely people that are trying to avoid it, just cannot avoid it. - Yeah. - And it's so prevalent and it's everywhere, and yeah, it's just, oh, sometimes like overwhelming. I didn't really, I didn't wanna see that. - I agree, I feel like it's one thing for like that content to exist, you know, behind like 18 plus, like-- - Yeah. - And for her obviously to be choosing to do that, like behind that type of thing, but on Instagram, like, I got an Instagram account when I was in like what, 7th or 8th grade when it came out, I think that the implications of like this being an ad that is not just like, like it's by big, like a list celebrities, big companies, and also just like as a mom, like raising kids that where my social media will always, we've always like have known that this is gonna be something we're gonna have to tackle, but it's like now it feels like that envelope is getting like pushed more and more. - Yeah. I'm surprised it doesn't have like a sensor on it. Like this video, the real of the ad has 55 million views. - Of course. - That's also why I didn't feel bad bringing this up on the podcast 'cause I was like, we don't wanna be like slanderers or like talk like gossip, but this was something that they wanted talked about. - Yeah. - So that was the whole point. So it's like, I feel like they invited that conversation uniquely, you know what I mean? - Okay, let's scroll through like some of her videos. Like they, people send them like a hundred thousand, 200,000, the ad, the video itself has 2.9 million cents. And then the pictures have 2.1 million. Yeah. - Yeah, that's like a crazy scale. Like so many, and I think about how many of those are like young people and I think that it's no, like if you're raising girls or boys like either way, there's a lot of, there's a lot of implications to that post, that like, you know, it just continues to drive the conversation of like, I mean, I think that constitutes this pornography. Yeah, and then like, but that's not even like, sometimes you think about like these websites where it's like you have to give credit, credit information. You have to do like, you have to verify, I don't even know how this all works exactly, but there's like certain blocks to it. And this is literally just like on Instagram where people can use it in such a tame way or you could accidentally assemble upon this. And I think about that a lot. And it freaks me out. - Well, even like I didn't see, I didn't, it wasn't serve the ad, but I saw videos of girls responding to the ad. And then I'm like, okay, but now you're just making it a bigger deal. And sometimes that to me, I have a debate and even bringing it up on this podcast 'cause I'm like, I don't wanna draw attention to it or make it a bigger thing. And sometimes that's, you know, that is their whole goal. And so it's like people talking about it and bringing it up. And even in like a way that-- - I would say that they deemed this campaign a major success. But they're so happy with it. - Yeah. - I know, it just feels like, ooh, a little off. - I feel like this is a way to kind of bring it back to our show specifically. And if you guys don't wanna go into this category, we don't have to. But what do you think about like maternity photos? - I don't like them. - With like boobs out. - I'm sorry, being naked and breastfeeding, to me is not an excuse to put your shoes on the internet. That's my hot take. I say over and over again, I've been saying it wrong. - I think it's the same thing. I'm like, I didn't go on my Instagram feed and open it up to see naked boobs. With like, you're on forever. I don't know, they're beautiful. And I think they can be, I do think they're beautiful. - I am currently breastfeeding right now on the internet, how do we go? - Yeah, but you're covered. - I know. (laughing) - I think the woman's body is so beautiful and so amazing. And I'm like, take those pictures and keep them. Like, I think those are really special moments and beautiful things to celebrate. But like, I don't necessarily want to see it. - Yeah. - On my Instagram feed. I don't know you like that. - I don't know you like that. - Yeah, I mean, it's like, I don't like that. - I'm like, even through mine, I had a shirt that like clipped and there was a little bit of open space in between these clips and I'm like, this might be too much for an internet. Like a little bit of cleavage, I'm like, I don't know. (laughing) - I know, and I know I'm coming from like a more modest, like I am probably a little bit more sensitive to those things, but it's still, I just like, I get you're in my opinion. - Yeah. - Then that's not. - I'm also not a fan of them being public. I think if you want them to be private, that's fun. - That's cool. - I know. - I don't personally want to take a picture of myself naked, but if you want to. - Yeah. I guess that's it. Like, if the standard is the same for Sydney's to be neat and like, pregnant ladies. - No, to me, I'm like, I'm not. - If it is the same. - Yeah. My standard is probably the same. - Mm-hmm. - Just because. - But I don't know. Everyone has their own opinions on it and everyone feels comfortable posting different things. But I think specifically with hers, like it's such, it's so sexual in nature that it is a different conversation. - Mm-hmm. I don't know. We talked about it with the only fans and like, sexualizing our bodies and different things and I just think it's sad. - She, I mean, she is like a big name celebrity. When is it another time, other than like, maybe the camera dashes? - I was gonna say Kim Kardashian. - Mm-hmm. - Mm-hmm. - Or I should like, use your body like to get up. - Yeah. - And get everything missing stuff. - Yeah, I was like, I was a little shocked by it 'cause I'm like, she is so a-list. It just kind of felt like, maybe Kim did it at the beginning of the year. - Yeah, for a career to help booster, whereas Sydney's like at the top of her game. I was like, girl, you don't have to take your clothes off. You're famous and rich. - You got the housewife. - You know what I mean? - The housemaid. - The housemaid. - You got the housemaid. - It was like, you're, you've made it. Career-wise. That's why I don't know. It was kind of surprising. - I think this will be a conversation that a lot of people probably disagree with me on her. I don't know. I'm expecting a lot of different opinions on this. - Well, there are probably already are. Wait, what's the connection between women and sports? - I didn't think there was one. That's why I was confused with all these girls making the video about it. - I don't know what you mean. - Were they trying to say that women, that they should have highlighted an athlete in the ad instead of just like someone with a rocking body? - I'm more so thinking they're like, why are you associating a woman with sports sexually instead of just doing like actual stuff? - Well, your argument is that it's sports betting and not like, it's not women's sport. It's not a women's sports ad. - Yeah, no, it's just sports. - It's just sports, targeted towards men. It's not gonna hit the same. - Yeah, I don't think women are betting on sports the same way men are. - I think. - I don't know for sure, but that would be my guess. - It's a safe generalization. - Yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, I think it's just more reason where I'm like, there's just anything can go online anymore. I feel like you've always known that to be like Twitter. - Yeah, yeah. - But not like, I don't know. - Yeah, I feel like. - You guys have to see how Instagram reacts to like, they kept it up.
They would take it down real quick a lot of things I mean they are quick to take certain things down I think that's also a bigger conversation to about like what's allowed on these platforms because they are privately owned even though we have like Hey, yeah, it's so this is crazy. I mean here's the you show me that and I'm like yeah I'm not even like actually completely shocked and that's what's the sad thing I know is that like there can be a completely naked woman straddling a basketball hoop for any user on the internet which is like basically every person over the age of 12 younger these days Mm-hmm, and I'm not even batting in eye exactly because I'm just like that's just the direction. It's all moved and That's just tough for everyone. I feel like Well, I think something to think about too is like that actually Makes me feel a little bit better about it is how big of a conversation it is that people are like hey, this is That's crazy, and so I think that's like a good side to it if you think about it of being like I'm glad there are this many people in the world that also think this is this is a little much. Yeah That was the sentiment is that it was too much. Yeah, okay. I think that was the sentiment. Yeah, at least I've seen Yeah, well, I wonder how she shows up the family Christmas Thank you to policy genius for sponsoring this portion of today's episode We recently had to get our ducks in a row. 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Okay, first of all the pastor's wife on Netflix. This is documentary It's three episodes and it's I haven't said it's really well done documentary about I thought so too This pastor of a church in Florida North Carolina North Carolina. I'm a middle Beach. I always think middle Beach is also a Florida You're right. It feels Florida. One of the Carolinas. Okay North Carolina. Thank you for that. I could be so and he it's a small church, but he um You have to watch this. I know like didn't want it. We're about to watch it one day I wasn't really into the trailer of it either. Then we share watches. Okay. Yeah, yeah, I told you'll be immediately gripped by it and it's like his Relationship with a member of the church who was younger than him and their marriage like it's I mean I would say look at the triggers before you watch it. Yeah, especially like for domestic abuse and sexual abuse sexual abuse and I mean spiritual abuse It's it's really it's really yeah, I would say look into it It can be it deals with really sensitive things very head-on It does, but the first thought that I had after watching this is how do they have any more members of this church dude? It's nuts. Isn't that crazy, but that just shows like how a bad leader can literally like These people respected him so much that they you just start to like Be jaded by it. I guess what's the word I'm looking for? I mean yeah, they're manipulated. Yeah Yeah, like you you respect you look at him as a figure that is going to guide you and so then if it's just like Gradual that just shows you how far you can get and it's really scary Yeah, how would you describe it? It's fresh on your mind Well, I feel like a couple things come to mind. They showed a lot of his teaching throughout the the documentary and I think a lot of stuff that he says is It's almost right and I remember our pastor in Kansas City What do I say they said discernment is it right from wrong discernment is right from almost right and it's so Serious when you're looking at a church or whatever you're listening to anything. It can even be non-secular or secular But whenever you're listening to something and you're taking it in you have to make sure that what you're listening to is It's not just almost right and a lot of that because that's where the twisting comes and the misinterpretation and manipulation and like Abuse can come from and so I feel like a lot of the a lot of the things that he taught that they actually showed I was like that's just not good. That's not right at all and I can I could see maybe he seemed like a very Charismatic preacher like he seemed like a nice guy. I don't know just I could see how he would be a very attractive pastor from the outside looking in So yeah, I was thinking about I was thinking about that a lot while watching it watching I was also Effected like what affects me is that every person that they interviewed and they interviewed a lot of people Yeah, so every person they interviewed was very well spoken and normal I'm gonna say like normal and not and like they were just very Elegant seeming and like knew they were talking about they knew they're talking about when it came to their faith and just like this situation. Yeah, and Just like how it could get it could continue like so many people had noticed the abuse and We're doing things about it and it still happened. Yeah, it was just literally it was just such a sickening feeling to yeah to be like wow so many people can spot abuse and be do all the right things. Yeah and It can still end and tragedy and spiral and that may it just makes me sick to watch But then there's so okay, there's so many things to talk about but also his preachings He kept saying like I'm never gonna talk about anything that I'm not going through my personal life. Yeah, it's weird Yeah, really didn't you think that was odd super odd? I was like, what do you mean? You should be talking about everything about not just things that you're going through I thought that was a really weird thing that he said frequently like that footage of Secondly, her journal entries actually broke my heart really sad because you could just tell that she was trying so hard to do Everything right and like seek counsel and then like it's so frustrating like yeah, she was trying to live out like her calling And just do exactly what she was supposed to do and then it just like this man was just he manipulated her Not he was incessant. Yeah, he was a psychopath for sure Literally and he's still alive and still married to a different lady Which was sick. Okay, I'm giving in to that I was really shocked by the fact that he continued and was allowed to be a leader in this church after cheating on his wife and I just think that goes back when Like churches in the Bible. They're really strict Rules about how to handle church discipline the Qualifications of a leader the qualifications of an elder in the church like they're really strict things and they're there for a reason a Purpose and when they're not followed through It's really sad like how a church crumbles how people's faith crumbles how bad things happen quickly because you are putting someone in a position of power And that person has to be held to a high standard when they're leading a church And pastoring people that are going through hard things in life and vulnerable and so you have to make sure that person that's leading is a good of good character and Yeah, just like the fact that he was allowed to lead and like wouldn't you still a pastor of a church? Yeah of that of that church, but now they maybe have like 10 members I think yeah, oh, they did show that at the end It was a small room. Yeah, I think the whole conversation of spiritual abuse is really sad I felt like two in my head I'm like, oh if you know the word and you read your Bible and you study it Then you wouldn't be as prone to manipulation, but I really felt like from her journal until she understood and like sought to understand and I think that also just goes to show the power of manipulation and like how people that are of sound mind can still be swayed and corrupt the way I think she had like the purest intentions with everything that she was doing. Yeah, and it's just He just was a bad leader so bad and so many people that weren't like where like you got to go and then of course It's a good thing to want to fight for your marriage Yeah, but like there there comes there came so many points where it was like this is not You have to leave this is extremely dangerous and safe. Yeah, a small Part of the part of the sheet on her all the time. Yes Everything like every box was checked, you know And I understand like she had previously been married and she cheated on her husband with him Yes, and so I'm sure there was a lot of shame a built around that and like wanting to make okay Let's make a good thing out of that they're like yeah, like she want to make a good thing out of a bad thing Yeah, and so I could see that maybe like also being motivation to stay and just do you feel like He did it. I was very upset at the end that there wasn't like a strong conclusion I really want him to do it like I was like he'd better be the murderer because I want this man behind bars Just be for what he did to her, but I doesn't look like it was the case Well, there's still I mean I think there can still be charges brought on him. Yeah, even if he's not the one who like I Don't even like actively pull the trigger, you know
What I mean, like the first, here's a great example. There's the case of the girlfriend telling her boyfriend to commit suicide. - Oh yeah, that was crazy. She did go to jail. - Yes, and so I'm saying like there can be implications for him, and I think there should be. - Yeah, I think there's, I mean, I don't know how you'd even go and make a case about this. Lawyers can do it, they're way smarter than me. They can pull things together. I mean, they have so many text records, and they have so many witnesses of people witnessing his abuse. I feel like you could probably pull something together. - For sure. - Yeah, hopefully they do. There was another part of it too, like he just kept hospitalizing her when she would have big emotions about things, and constantly put her on medication, constantly send her to the hospital. - Oster Sizer from her family, and as far as like even her medical care, he wasn't including them on it. - I was thinking about that. I'm like, what a hard job that must be like working in a mental health facility, because in one hand, there are a lot of, majority of the time, I'm sure people are in like an unstable condition that go in there and are seeking help and care. But then you do have this area where people are abusive and are trying to-- - He set her up with the police multiple times, and it's like trying to abuse-- - That's abusing resources too. - Like casting down-- - He has no boundaries. - Right, it's like trying to make everything about that person seem uncredible to that no one believes their story. And I'm like, that would be so hard to sift through as someone, as a professional in that career, just being like, is this legit? - Imagine her too, am I unwell? - Yeah, is she been gaslighted to a mental illness? Like, I believe so. - You know, it makes me ill, and I think it's a really important conversation to have too, especially 'cause it's just like, this is just one of those things where on paper, they could have looked, I mean, obviously their beginnings were not ideal. But like, he could have, on paper, they could have looked like she was like, striving to be the perfect wife, and I'm sure a lot of people in that church thought he was the perfect husband. And it just kept getting so bad, and it's one of those things where it was like, the abuse was, I mean, it feels overt in the documentary since, but I'm sure in her life it felt gradual and like, it makes me so sick, and it's just so important to know like these signs, especially, like for a church, but also for a marriage, and also just, I just think about the aspect of him too, like breaking up all of her friendships, and just breaking her down from the inside. It was just, and I did have a little empathy for him when they went into his backstory with his family, and like, he had trauma too, but. - I know, I think too, this was something that I had, I checked myself a lot with in the past, or actually now, I'm like, okay, if this pastor, who I deeply respect, deeply of my other teaching, and the way they leave this church, like I, oh, sorry, buddy, if they had a moral failure, with my faith be okay. And I think that's a really important question that you have to ask, because you cannot be putting your pastor on a pedestal and making them godlike, and I felt like that was where he kind of was at. He felt like if he fell away, the church would crumble, like, or she felt like that about him. She thought, if I tell people, and he gets in trouble, then I'm pulling people from God. And it's like, well, that's actually, he's not God, that's not his role, like he's a person, and all people have moral failures at times. And so, trying to hide those things, while they're trying to leave, that is really scary. But I think for all of us, if you are in this position, it's like, hey, we always need to be checking and making sure that we're not making our pastor or our spiritual leader are god, because that is when also unhealthy things can happen. - No, that's for sure. I think a lot of people say that, and you forget a lot of the times and stuff. I mean, I've been through that personally, and it was a real big check of like, oh, gotta make sure my pastor is not my God, or who I'm idolizing in different ways. You're supposed to look to them, they're held to a higher standard, but they are sinful people too. - Yeah. - They're just like us, but held to a higher standard. - And you have to check what they teach. Like, they're not gonna teach everything perfectly. I actually think this is kind of an interesting conversation. I think a lot of people, when they talk about the Bible, a common thought is like, oh, I don't trust the translations of the Bible. And I'm like, I actually just be like a quick Google search, you can look up that the Bible has been changed. Like, we have all the original manuscripts, but what I think they mean in that argument is that they don't trust the interpretation. Like, oh man, and people, and pastors, and priests, and people that are teaching the Bible have misinterpreted it. And I'm like, that's true. But like, that's also why we have the original manuscripts to go back to. I don't know, that's the only thing about too. - I mean, that's the whole process of, you know, receiving a sermon or listening to something, and then doing follow-up afterwards, go look up other different things that say the same thing, and make sure they all match. 'Cause you're gonna hear a bad teaching in your life. It's gonna happen, and so I feel like backing it up with what you personally believe and find the truth in. - Totally. Do you know what he preached that really pissed me off? - Oh gosh. - And I've heard this before. If you don't give your husband sex, he's gonna go find it somewhere else. And that is so insane. - Adi, it was. - It was crazy. He preached that multiple times all the time. - I actually is a focus of a sermonist. - I've been told that about women. - That it's like okay, like for them to do that. - I just felt that way. - Like, that's what I'm saying. I'm like, okay, but where's the, even if you are in a marriage where it's like, we're celibate or we're a cyclist, you still made a covenant to that person. There are gonna be times in your life, yeah, where you just can't. That you made a covenant to that person that you were gonna be faithful to them, that you're gonna love them. And that goes nowhere in your mouth to say, if you give me sex, I'm gonna say faithful. And he kept preaching that. And I'm like, that is just showing the Bible. - Show me. - The things that he did. He twisted a lot of stuff. - He was making them be like, have relations for five times a day. - Every day. - If she wouldn't before bed, he was flickering the lights so she couldn't sleep. - Yeah. - Having her take testosterone. So she could. - Oh, abyssans. - I mean, it was really crazy. It was one of those things where I, like Matt and I were just like yelling at the TV. Like it was so perfect. I mean, he made this woman's life a living hell. - Literally. - And then everyone in her life is also kind of worshiping him in a way, you know, and then, and so she feels like she has to say, like she was in an impossible such a bad situation. She was in an impossible situation. It feels like, obviously it wasn't impossible, but I mean, such a difficult, I mean, it took herself out of it, you know? - Yeah. - Oh, yeah, but I hope she has peace of it. - Gosh, it was horrible. It just brought up a lot of conversations and I know. It was really crazy. I don't normally like watching documentaries about, like church things, 'cause sometimes I'm like, I don't wanna give views to this sensationalized story, but this one I thought was really important. And I actually thought it was really good. - I don't wanna watch. - Because I do think that is like, I don't know. I mean, I do think that even the documentary took some of like the verses out of context of me, but I feel like it did a good job of making him seem like the problem, and not like the Bible. - Yeah, I agree. But yeah, I was just, I thought it was good, and I had a lot of thoughts out it. And things that I'm like, I wanna teach my daughter certain things, you know, that things look out for it, and things to avoid, and you guys, I think, especially, you know, just hard. - I'm not doing a good job of getting my thoughts out there, but I had a lot of thoughts about this. - I'm not like good at verbalizing them. - I got personal DMs of people being like, "You guys need to talk about this, and I always hear." - This is for the high rock style. - You're right. - Why do people want it at all? Are they need to talk about it? - Because we like to talk about working out and pooping. Well, okay, listen, when I picture this-- - And poop. - I said, "That's okay, I just pooped on." - Yeah, yeah, I pooping, of course. Wait, I pictured it. I pictured like, I'm not even getting you a turd like in your biker shorts. I wasn't-- - I wanna leave it in better. - I've never seen it. - Oh, oh, you want it. - Okay. - I need to get a TV in here so that I can just like, show you that. - I was on a screen, yeah. - Well, just get a projector. - That's a good idea. - I was just getting Elmo. - I think when I heard, oh, this girl from Iraq, Hirox had diarrhea and finished the race. I was like, oh, so maybe her butt was wet. That's what I was picturing. - That's not at all. - I haven't seen an un-sensor. - Are you serious? Go to TikTok. It was a mud pit down her legs. It was like a river of chocolate up and down her kneecaps. It was going into her socks. It was flicking everywhere. It was unbelievable. - Keep describing it to me. - It was a 12 ounce water bottle filled with river water. Just flowing out. - I mean, that's a biohazard. Like when people were talking about those, like, okay, she pooped here. - Oh, that is the conversation. - That is the conversation. The first time I was like, okay, she pooped in her pants, move on, like, who cares if she finished the race. Then I saw it. I was like, I don't think that doesn't make any sense. Like, I did something like looking at it. Like, what? Why would no one stop that? It can't even look at the poopers. It's that poopers do need to stop it. - I don't think so. I'm like, I think she has someone there like counting her reps in her steps. They weren't like, whoa, you should stop. Like, honestly, my head, I'm like, she's there to compete. She's there to compete. I personally would have stopped. But she's a different, you know, she's a different, she's winning. So, I don't know. I honestly am like. - She's one. - Let me give you a yes. - She won. - She won. - But I'm like, how rude. - She has to stop my poopers and band and band. I'm like, that is what? - She do? - Yes. I'm like, has she made a comment? I don't know. - She posted the, I'm pretty sure she posted afterwards and it might have been.
been deleted. - I think she thought it was funny. She was like, thanks for like hanging in there with me. - Oh yeah, she said, like not how we wanted it to go, but we did it first place. But that's like, honestly, I don't blame her for that attitude because that's how they treated it. Like, finish up. Wait, she got disqual. She doesn't get to be first. I don't look it up, Addy. I'm really lucky. - I'm lucky. - Afterwards, took it on, I'm mad for her. I know, I was like, they let her finish. Let her keep her trophy. And don't ban her. - They get a rule. I know. She got banned from high rocks. I think that's crazy. Like, they didn't tell her to stop. It's like her fault. - I'm just laughing at my, Google it. My plot in case, give me the details about the lady pooping her pants at the high rock top. - It's an unbelievable situation. Like, I've never seen poop like that. - You know how to poop your pants? - Gosh. - And I had a pants that should have been disqualified. But she was, she's an Australian fitness competitor and the world and a world record holder. - I mean, she's not stopping. She's not gonna stop. - I respect it. - So that's why I'm like, that was on high rocks. Did you see the uncensored video of it? - No, I don't want to see that. - Come on, you guys. It's just poop. That's how I feel. Maybe I'm just dealing with too much poop on my daily best. - Is it she won while visibly soiling herself during the race? - I mean, listen, that makes it sound like she was like a turd coming out of her butt. It's not solid. - Yes, see, it's shocking. - High rocks issued a public apology for how the situation was handled specifically that she was allowed to continue rather than being pulled. The organization announced it would introduce new protocols slash rules around hygiene and contamination for future events. 'Cause I mean, you're a splash and poop. - She was, it was splashing everywhere, everywhere. - She did post about it on Instagram stories. She shared a photo of herself hooked up to an IV drip with the caption, go hard or go home. A win is a win in all seriousness. Thank you for the support. I'll be back soon. - See, that's what I'm talking about. - She waited a little bit to post. - Well, she, that was the sentiment of people around her, but they were like, hey, wait a finish. I bet no one there was questioning her. - Here's my, isn't it crazy when you see it? It's not just, it just changed things a bit for me. - But that's what makes people great is that they don't stop. Do you know what I mean? - You need that to make you the goat. You're the grace of all time. Under pressure, under bat circumstances, you don't freaking quit. - But you personally need to be like, I, I will be okay if I quit this race because I'm pooping my pants. You should be okay to do that. - And still be disappointed that happened. - I agree. - I would say she should have consequences. - I'm sorry, I'm discriminating. - And what if she has IBS? - Well, here's the, she had, she like had something weird happened. - It probably was from like an extreme, just from like, overdoing it. - Yeah. - But like, there are ultra runners that go out there and do the same thing, you know? And they don't stop. - Bear by themselves. - No, I'm not saying, I'm not saying the situation's different, but I'm saying there are people, this is like a thing with, these athletes that do extreme sports, they don't stop, they don't quit. I'm not saying that's me, I 100% quit, but I don't have that in my brain. My brain isn't there. So to me, I'm like, it's hierarchy job to say, if you're not gonna stop, I'm gonna make you stop. Do you think? I think I'm so mad that she didn't get first place. Didn't they take it away? Did they rescind the award? She's still first place in my heart, I know. I feel bad for her, because people are being really mean. - Wait, really? I respect her. That's also sick. - No, she's getting bold when I was last. - She's getting bold when I was last. - And she didn't even post these videos, I don't. - No, her win stood. She kept the first place result. - Oh, she said. - And reportedly took home about $21,000 in prize money. - Okay, well yeah. - From the Beijing event. - Yeah, I grabbed myself for $21,000. (laughing) - Hyrox apologized for it and said they were gonna announce, 'cause it really hurt. - Did they be? - Hyrox was like, no. - Whoa, okay, what TikTok is piercing did I see? (laughing) - Agil, this is the first time you find out that everything you see on TikTok isn't true. - I thought they banned her from me. - They didn't disqualify her or strip her title. - Did they ban her? - No, nothing indicates that Hyrox banned or suspended her. Hyrox, what their response, they did have an apology about new hygiene and contamination rules for future races. - No, people put themselves like when they're running marathons and that's what other people. - Wait, you know what's actually really funny is that? I was at a pool one time at a hotel and it was like, if you have uncontrollable diarrhea, - You don't have any of the pool. (laughing) - And I was like, it wasn't like a handwritten little, it was a plate that they had to build inside. (laughing) - It was a nice hotel, it was a nice hotel too. And I was like, you know what, this is a great example of a situation where you have to change your policies and I'm not mad at anyone for the situation. And I honestly, I'm like, - Oh, mad respect to her. And Hyrox now has another tool in their tool belt. - Yeah. - For their walls and floors. - For their terms and conditions. - True too. - I love that when you get a new job and they go through the head, like they should never be bullied for pooping their pants or rule. - That's rude. - Why, you'll get no one stalker. - Like that is great. - I can see how that situation happens though, 'cause it's like, okay, this is crazy, but you're not saying anything. - I'm just gonna say. - Maybe it's not that crazy. Like you, what do they call that? - Yeah. - Bystander effect. - Effect. - Yeah, yeah. - That is bystander effect. - I'm gonna start using this in psychology classes. - Do you remember the girl who had a lot of poop at Hyrox? - I don't know how she feels about this. - I think she's mortified. - You think so? - Hey, let's have her on the pod. (laughing) - Or for Hyrox. - Or for Hyrox. (laughing) - She's actually beautiful too. - She's really gorgeous. - And you know what? - I honestly think this is really good. This is good for everyone to know that. - Everyone poops. - Hey, I have an idea for her. If she has, I always joke. I'm like, I always have one good idea for like a company or one. And they should put me on the board for my one idea and then fire me. She should do something like videos after this and just really lean into it. - Yeah. - She should come out with, she should come out with a good wipe. - She should do a collaboration with good wipes. - They're doing collabs with everybody. - She should come out with a hot chocolate. (laughing) That's great. I was thinking of that. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - And she just needs to ride the wave. - Yeah. - She just needs to be known for this for a little bit and build her career and then do it in the past. - Good wipes and hot chocolate. - They should reach out. (laughing) - This is the season. - I really hope good wipes are over in the box. - I know. - Okay. - And it's like, dude wipes, it should make. - Dudeette wipes. - Dudeette wipes. (laughing) - Dude wipes. - Thank you to Wafer for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. We recently redid our shed, which was so exciting. And something that we definitely needed in there was a desk. But thankfully, I had Wafer to help. Wafer helps you create a home that stands up to real life with quality products, great value and trusted reviews. Wafer verified products are hand-bedded by product specialists using a 10-point quality inspection. You can shop thousands of products across every style, every budget, whether you're trying to refresh your space for a full or transform your space for Halloween or maybe you're transforming a shed into an office. You can use filters, customer photos, and reviews to find the right fit for your home. The desk that we picked out ended up being really beautiful. The reviews were very helpful on Wafer. I actually do love the customer photos 'cause it can help picture in your space what it'll look like. You guys can transform your space with pieces that hold up to real life. Join Wafer Rewards today and get 5% back on every purchase. Head to Wafer.com or shop the Wafer app for all things home. That's w-a-y-f-a-i-r.com. Wafer.com. Wafer every style, every home. - We're talking about in-laws. - We're in-laws. - We are in-laws. - You guys are in-laws. - I say bonus in-laws. - Bonus in-laws. - Yeah. - When I was talking to Blake about this, I was asking him some questions about in-laws. And then I was like, well, I'm Abby's sister in-law. He goes, well, when people say in-laws, they're mostly talking about their parents. - Yeah, I think that's what people mean. But it's like we're, this also goes to all this advice and stories goes for sister-in-laws and brother-in-laws. - Yeah, I think so. - Cousin-in-laws. - Yeah. - Apply it, why not? (laughs) - I just think it's relevant. We always talk about how we have great relationship with our in-laws. We obviously have great relationships. And we get, excuse me, asked a lot about it. So, let's dive in, let's talk. - Yeah, we had someone call in with a voicemail about this. I remember, and I was like, this is a fun topic, especially considering we're all in-laws. - Totally, totally. - But I know that there are some crazy stories out there. And you guys shared some of your anonymous in-law horror stories. - You see, for a minute, we have the anonymous. We are going to make them anonymous. We don't want to wreck your families, but thank you for sharing the tea. - I just read the first one in my head. And my mother-in-law asked me, "For what week's postpartum is she thinks, if she took the proper hormones, could she make milk again?" - I would be fearful, like, why? Do you want to nurse my child? - Oh, wow. - That would be so scary yet. (laughing) - You're like, perhaps so. (laughing) - They might hear about that situation happening. - About someone else nursing me? - No, a parent. - You had a nightmare about it? You're living that. - No, I had a nightmare. - Oh, I was like, do we need to talk about that? - It's a dream, but I'm calling it a nightmare. - It sounds like a nightmare. (laughing) - What's the difference really if it's scary? - Oh my gosh. - It says, "Our in-law wedding present was a six-foot by four-foot picture of an elephant." We live in a one-bedroom apartment, and they were incredibly offended. We didn't put it up. - A six-foot by four-foot picture. - Everyone say what they-- - Why size? - Do not buy home.
home decor for anybody, really, but especially as a wedding gift, I mean, wedding gift is so hard. Don't get home decor. Yeah, don't don't gift just you registry gifts. Yeah, yeah. And let's you really know them and you're like, this is sentimental and elephant. My in-laws literally live in all caps across the lawn from us. And I've said, I always wonder that because, well, you lived within the same house. We lived, yeah, in the exact same room. Then we won't bring it up. No, I just always wonder, people are like, do you want to live on a compound? And I'm like, no. And I love my family. I do. I, I, Matt sent you those videos of family compounds and he was like, let's do it. That's true. And you're like, please no, get away from me. I like across the street. That's the same thing on these come true. Yeah, my mother-in-law gave my nephew his first haircut without my sister-in-law's permission or knowledge. Oh, that's kind of sad. That is really sad. I don't think it would have been like, I wouldn't fume on that one, but I would have been like, oh, that's a little annoying. The haircut is, well, it feels so much like a great moment. It's a big moment. You want to be a part of it as the mother. Yeah, you do. Gave my, gave my three-month baby medicine for six plus years without me knowing 'cause quotes. He struggled with grams for six years. I'm like so weird about medication and not because I'm crunchy, just because I'm weird and I'm like, they'll be given. Anytime, anytime kale was like, I'm taking medicine for my migraine, I'm like, suck it up. No, you need medicine for my skin. I'm not a tinkier person, but I'm like, I don't know. I'm just like, why are you taking something you weak? I'm going to be sick. I got a definitive kale. No, I know. I totally never had a migraine. But that's how I act. I'm like, just drink some water, you know, which doesn't work like that. I know. I know. People tell me how you drink water when I'm migraine. I'm like, you're literally wanting to find it. This is just how I was raised. Like, my dad, nothing but drinking water. My dad does not take, like, my dad had nodes in his throat and the doctor said, here's the diet and elevate your bed and here's the medicine. It's not going to go with, wait, without the medicine. My dad refused the medication, but did all the other things and cured himself. And so I was just, anytime my mom would be like, take some of the leave. She doesn't need that. So I'm just inherited that. Okay. Well, with my kids, like, don't give them medicine without me knowing. But I do give that struggles with cramps. I know for that. I mean, I fall into that category a little bit with my mom. I love my mom. She'll be like, yeah, Bri, I was just having tummy issues. I'm like, I've actually never noticed that ever that she said tummy issues. Maybe she didn't have gas. I just wasn't paying attention. Yeah, in my head. I'm like, they're just upset. Yeah, I'm like, they're fine. Just to clarify, I do give my children medicine. They get Tylenol frequently. Okay. Just to clear the air. Abby, get that off your chest. I know. It just doesn't make sense. Like, my rules don't make sense with it. I mean, I think it's good to only take it if you really need it. That's right. And I'm like, we don't need it. Okay. And unless I have, I do take nightclub. Anyway, it doesn't matter. Let's go. Anyway, this one says she calls my baby by the name. She likes rather than the one we chose. That's a TV show. That was a TV show. That's why it really hurt not to laugh. And then also your kids are probably so confused. That would be funny for one day. And then when it would continue, you just, oh, wait a minute. You're not stopping. Then you would send me a thing. Oh my gosh. First things giving away from my family. And they served Panda Express. That's sad. You're like, I think of the feast at home. Working Panda Express. You know, that's hilarious. Mother-in-law sister-in-law tried to control how we fed our first baby, ruined my breastfeeding experience. I don't, I need more details. Any more details, but that sounds sad. My father-in-law showed up at her house when me and my husband were in the bedroom of LOL. Honest mistake. Yeah. How was he supposed to out? How was he supposed to be weirder if he knew? Calling our son my grandbaby 24/7. Never his name gives me the egg. My grandbaby. I don't know. That one doesn't bother me. Yeah, let it go. Mother-in-law posted engagement on Facebook immediately before my own parents knew. That, actually, okay, you would just have to tell your family every time. Don't post about this until we do. We have someone that we tell every time. Yeah, we have a couple people. I'm like, it doesn't, doesn't get shared. Sometimes we wait to tell that member of the family. That is one that I'm like, it really could be an honest mistake. They're just excited. Because of a generation difference. Yeah, they're excited. They don't know the etiquette. Yeah, they didn't have social media or like, yeah, but you just gotta tell them. But I mean, before your parents knew. But maybe she assumed they knew. Unsafe assumption, but yeah. Be over about it. They told me I need to drive the car before buying a.k.a. That is the same girl. They call them my grandbaby. That's crazy. He's having good time. Good time, not good to take your advice. Good time. You're a good time. Mother-in-law. What? Mother-in-law A.I. is herself with my husband as Queen in Prince. No other family members included. You should print that for her birthday and give it to her as a gift. You'll be her favorite person. That's how you win her favor. I tell you later over. My mother-in-law wanted to know the exact timing of conception of my second child because she was apparently concerned that my husband had been on a business trip around the time I got pregnant. We literally can see the day he got home from the trip. Not her questioning paternity. Oh shoot. That is too far. That's too far. That is crazy. That's crazy. No, no, no, no. She's like, I'm just looking out and you're like, whoa. She's like, I'm going to be some math here. That's toxic. I'm doing some math here. Mother-in-law cleaned our bedroom without being asked a black lace thong in loop. We're left untouched in the floor from the night before. We have kids so she knows we've done it. But it still felt mortifying that she saw those items. That would be mortifying. Yeah, it's I feel like my sentiment around it is like obviously it happens but you guys all husbands pretend it doesn't happen. Can't don't ever talk about it. We're not allowed to talk about it and you're not allowed to know. I'm allowed to talk about it on the internet but not to you. Not to you. Everyone else in the world can know. And listen, I know they watch this and every time I talk about something I think about it, I'm like, they're gonna know. They're gonna know. They're gonna know. They're gonna know. They're gonna know. Stay in it. Haunt me. Mother-in-law, uninvited me to VK in front of everyone. We've been engaged for four years almost. Uninvited me to VK in front of everyone. Oh. Does that mean something happened that she just did it? Sometimes these boxes need more context. I know. But that is that is that is petty. No. There's no way that had to happen. My mother-in-law had to pull a tampon out of me because it got stuck. On the way to Sierra Wedding venue. Oh my gosh. These are my there has to be a third off. That has to be another way. Like if she can pull it, you can pull it. Certainly. Or maybe just have your fiancee pull it. I know that you're probably mad. I'm from the quest that this, I'm assuming that you're trying to like nod do that. But that's like a medical emergency. Why does she pull it? I don't know. I don't know. I'm scared by that. I'm really uncomfortable. I'm glad you guys are close. That kind of relationship. I can't think of it. I feel like we're close with Teresa. Yeah. I know. But that is that is so far beyond though. Honestly, okay. I feel like I have a family member that is married and their mother-in-law. I feel like they'd be comfortable enough to do that. Honestly, I feel like I could ask her to do it to me if I need to do. But yeah. She's aologist. She's a nurse. Okay. I feel like maybe it wouldn't be as weird of Lori. I don't know. I feel like to you. No, not to me. To you. No, it'd be really weird. Why do you think she thought it was weird? I mean, she put it on a horror story. We agree. That is horror. I forgot that my mom is your mother-in-law. Yeah. Blake said it. Blake said on the phone today he goes and then my parents, like Abby's parents are your in-laws. I'm like, your parents are my in-laws. Why did you do that? Abby's parents are my in-laws. My sister is my sister's parents are your in-laws. Your parents are my in-laws. Oh my god. Okay. This one says, "Talk to me for an hour about an outfit I wore for a night out." My husband picked it out. Oh my gosh. That one would. I feel like. I just can't relate to a lot of these. My in-law included bed bugs with my baby shark gift. Oh, that seems like a mistake. Unfortunate? Like not intentionally? That is a horror story. I don't know if that's. surely that wasn't intentional. That would be criminal, I think.
- That would be criminal. - Well those are crazy, thank you for sharing. I love when you guys share your stories. They're relatable. Everyone has stories and I feel like I've in the past, I think majority of my friends have a lot of issues with their in-laws and I feel very grateful that that's not our case that we have really like great relationships. And so yeah, we wanted to kind of talk about maybe just three tips that we've had to foster healthy relationships with their in-laws because yeah, I feel like we have been really successful and not it's not just because of things that we've done. I feel like it's been a collective thing that we've all done as a group and as a family. And I feel like that on both sides, not just with kills between my family too and my in-laws on that side. So what's your first tip? - It's a delicate balance and I feel like yeah, there's things that are just like that, there's ways to navigate it that are like that's right and that's wrong. So my first tip was build a positive foundation. So I think a lot of times with in-laws, if you get off on the wrong foot, I feel like a lot of times the people I know that have really bad relationships with their in-laws it started from the very beginning. And so when I say build a positive foundation, I would say I'm talking about a more practical thing to do that is like to take interest in their lives. And I feel like that's a great way to, especially approach mother and father-in-law, like as like respectful like way, like ask them about like what it was like with them growing up, ask them what it was like raising your husband. And then even like asking them for advice too, I think that's like a sign of respect is like, okay, like what did this look like when you guys were married or like growing up like how did you question that social media like? - What was that like? And I think that just like this goes for any type of relationship, but just like taking interest in their lives, probably does a really good thing to like start the communication, but then also just a sign of respect like that you're like interested in then and building a good relationship that starts off light and positive. So then when things do get more like obviously life will throw curveballs at you, you have that foundation of like a relationship. - You don't even have to take the advice. I think sometimes people just automatically throw that out. It's like well, I don't trust what they have to say or I don't like what they have to say. That doesn't really matter. The point of that, of sure, like you will probably gain some nuggets of wisdom, but I think the biggest point of asking is just to honor them. - Yeah, and make them feel good. Like your whole goal of a relationship, I think in that sense when it is, like all of your one's goal should be like keeping the peace. And so it's like you just want to do things that are going to encourage one another and build one another up. Because it is a delicate relationship. And so you don't want to, it's just like what are things that I could do? They're simple. And like ask them questions and taking interest in their life is very simple. And even if you don't like what they have to say, they should be like, wow, thanks for sharing. - No, I think that's a really good point to make. I'm glad you said that. - Because I, yeah, people just throw the baby out with the bath water, you know? - Yeah. - You're like, I don't trust them. It's like, well, yeah, it's fine. That worry less than the point. - Yeah, if you could still make conversation. - Yeah. My number one, I feel like this is super obvious. We talk about all the time. But you are communicating bad news to your family and your husband is communicating bad news to their family. And that is the rule. And if, and it's not, if I'm communicating, it's like, oh, yeah, Caleb doesn't really want to do that. I'm not saying that. It's, we don't want to do that. I'm never putting my Caleb or my husband in a light that could make my family frustrated with him or annoyed or whatever it may be. Like, we are a unit and a team and we're united in that. But I'm going to relay the news and vice versa. He never says anything like, oh, Abby, didn't like this or that. Like, it's like, hey, we would just appreciate if you did it this way. And it's always a week. - Mm-hmm. That's a really good point. - I never single out because then your family will always forgive you. They're not going to forgive the other. - It's going to be harder, you know? - Yeah. And so, you're always going to be the one to do the bad news and you're always a unit. That's such a good point. I love how you also point out the wee part. 'Cause like-- - You want to throw 'em out of the bus? - Yeah. I think people do that. Oh, yeah, totally. - Like, wait, that's crazy. They just singles you out like that. - They just pitted you against them. - They're starting a war. You're starting a war. You don't even know it. - That's kind of similar to the one that I said. But I said, like, tougher conversations and like, boundary setting. You're speaking to your parents. So, like, if it's with your in-laws, like you and your husband can talk to you. And it's like, hey, this is something that I've noticed. Or it's like, even if it's like, okay, this is the boundary you want with all the grandparents, all the in-laws, it's like, okay, I'll go talk to my people. You go talk to your people. And then we'll say, this is what our family has decided. But, yeah, for boundary setting, you don't need to be the one doing that. - Yeah. I actually know two of them. I know they've probably built it done this where, like, with the wife, there were issues with her family. And it became to a point where her husband had a step in. He's like, hey, I'm gonna leave this conversation because with you, they, it's easy to like, bulldoze or like feelings are more hurt. So, I'm gonna be there and I'm gonna lead the conversation, but you have to be there with me. Like, it's never just one-on-one. So, I think there are really appropriate times when, you know, it's okay, but it always needs to be, like, you have to be present and like, okay, with, I don't know. - Do you know what I'm saying? - Yeah, that's probably true. We've never, I've never had that experience, but I can imagine it in like the last resort thing. - Yeah, last resort. - Yeah. - It seems kind of silly, but I said you need to include them, like, OG family, as thinking more so with brother-in-laws and sister-in-laws. I always appreciate that my sisters go above and beyond to make Caleb feel like a brother. Like, they buy him gifts, they text him on his birthday, they go about, like, always including him. If it's, if we're going out to dinner or doing something, it's just assumed that Caleb is the unit and he's coming along, like, he's a part of the family and he's treated like a part of the family. And vice versa, I feel like the Howard's had done that really well with us. Like, we are treated like sisters and daughters. And I understand if maybe, like, they're, obviously, there's always personality differences, but that's a side, like, that's always higher treated. And I think that, knowing that's like the culture, is really sweet, 'cause I think it could be very easy for you to be, oh, that's my sister's husband, you know, that's, he does his own thing over there. That's her job to handle him or deal with him. But how isolating, you know, and I'm sure there are, like, reasons that lead to that. But to go above and beyond to make that person feel like, they're not my sister's husband, they're my brother. And yeah, I love my brother, my sister's husband, like, close with them. And I think it's just always been kind of the understanding, you know? - Mm-hmm. - Yeah, that's really sweet. I do know some families where it's like, "Oh, well, we're gonna just invite you on the trip." - Well, it's weird. - Except that they don't invite, like, spouses. - I know. And that's what made me think about this. When you told me that one time, I was like, "That's never." - Yeah. - That's weird. - But we don't do that. - Like a core family trip? - Yeah, like, we're going back to the core family. - We're going back to the core family. - You're like, "Wait, what?" - No, actually, when I was engaged, my mom, like, last minute planned a one more family vacation, just more of us, 'cause she knew then at that point. - Yeah, that's what-- - Which is like, some people could probably make the argument. It's like, well, no, haven't come at that point. I was also really young. So I'm like, this felt really appropriate at the time. - Right. - And I respect, I like that, too, because then I knew that things were going to change once you got married. And I was going to be viewed totally differently. And I was going to view it differently. And obviously, it felt really reassuring and that my family was going to view it differently, too. - Same, yeah. - Even though I was really young, totally. - Yeah, okay. This third one, I literally do not know how to put into words, you've debriefed off camera, but basically, it boils down to just being really, like, delicate about how you speak to other family members within the family, about other family members within the family. 'Cause I think that can really tear down a family really fast, when you're in close quarters, you're very personally, it's so complicated, family relationships, in the sense of, like, oh, like, I have allegiance to the sister-in-law, but I also have allegiance to my husband, and my mom, like, it can get so messy. And so, just being very careful with your tongue and how you speak about other people, two other people, is uniquely important within a family dynamic, I think. - I can pick what you're saying. Because, yeah, it's not like, I'm not going to talk to Caleb about his mom, because that's his mom. Like, I'm not going to speak poorly about his mom. This is just an example. - Well, like, and he's not going to do that to me, because that's my mom, like, he loves her. And so, there's a way that you can share, maybe things that, there are ways that you can share things that aren't putting that person in negative light. I think it's always trying to give that person the benefit of the down, always respecting that relationship as family, when you're speaking about something, and not, yeah. And being careful as to not speak in a way that would harm that relationship between that person and the family members, is that what you're talking about? - Yes, just being really careful with how, because obviously there are things uniquely within families, where it's like, oh, we can relate, because we're experiencing the same thing. But, yeah, you just, you don't want to, like, run your mouth and be talking negative about your family and gossiping and being. - It's so much more sensitive when it's like, okay, that's my parents, that's my brother. - Yeah. - And, I think you have to really care about how you speak. - Right. - You always want to put your in-laws, brother-in-laws, sister-in-laws, mother-in-laws, father-in-laws, in a light of, like, oh, you want to honor them, and how you're speaking with them. And ultimately, to just be a peacemaker, because that's the, that's the furthest thing from, like, finding peace and within a family unit is that type of talk. - You don't want to be the sister-in-law that comes in and is, like, disruptive to the family. - Yeah. - You know? I mean, obviously, there's, like, bad things going on. But, you know what I'm saying? It's like, you hear the stories a lot of time, where, oh, yeah, there's their daughter-in-law. So, you know, this. or that, their son-in-law is like really, da-da-da. - Mm-hmm. - And it just kind of hurts the family. - It hurts the family. - Yeah, totally. - Totally, that person. You would've come in and be in addition to the family and mess it together. - Not true. - Mess it together. - Not tear it apart, totally. - Okay, my last one, I actually asked Caleb's opinion. I, Teresa, had a great one too, that we can share. But I asked Caleb, I said, "What is your advice "for having healthy and rural relationships?" And he said, "Always remembering that me and you "are number one, like we are the unit." And that is the boundary. Like if we don't prioritize each other to our in-laws, to his parents, to my parents, then that's when feelings can get hurt and expectations can get hurt. And so just remembering that, okay, now we are the number, we are the number one family to us. We are the new core for us. And overflowing from that is good. And I think there are a lot of people that can take that, maybe not the best way. But if you always remember that, you come back to that. And you don't abuse that. I think it helps, it helps have healthy expectations of boundaries just from the jump. - Mm-hmm. Totally. - My family is very good at that. But that just made me think of like my parents specifically, both my parents are really good about that, about like, Blake and I are a unit. - Any questions or anything, it's always, well, how do you, how do you feel? Did you talk to Blake? Like making sure everyone's aligned on it, which is really good. - Yes, that is really good. Yeah, it's like, it's me and Caleb, we're together. And even, I think around holidays, there's been a lot of things come out. I think both of our families have done such a good job of being really respectful of that. I'm like, okay, how does your family want to do it? And we'll be flexible around you. And I just appreciate that so much, 'cause I know that's a time where people get really sensitive about it, but it's just like, yeah, we are now a family. - Mm-hmm. - We're not just now all under your umbrella. So, I don't know, that's just a thought. That's a good one. - Okay, we are gonna share some of our more unpopular opinions in the safety of Patreon about navigating in law relationships and things like that. So we're gonna contain this conversation over on Patreon, 'cause I don't even know what this episode is at right now. - Thank you to Upwork for sponsoring this portion of today's episode. My husband runs a business. I, in the past, I ran a business. And something that is so tempting is to want to do everything yourself. But once you can learn to delegate, it dramatically changes your life. It dramatically changes the performance of your business. And that is where Upwork comes in. Upwork lets you build a team of highly skilled specialists for every function your business needs. So you can focus on what you do best and let the experts handle the rest. Upwork gives your business fast access to highly skilled specialists with deep expertise. So you can fill critical skill gaps, launch projects faster, and scale support up or down without committing to full-time headcount. I think that's something that is really nice is that you can hire people for one-off jobs, and then it's not a permanent decision, which is really nice. You can browse profiles, review past work, and get help scoping the role so you can hire with confidence and get started quickly. With Business Plus, you can access the top 1% of talent on Upwork. AI-powered shortlisting delivers a curated shortlist of top freelancers match to your goals in under six hours. No endless searching required. Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free. That is Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's u-p-w-o-r-k-dot-com-upwork.com. - Okay, voicemail. - Ask, ask, ask, ask, Abby. - Yay. - Hi, Abby's and Abby. I've been listening to always hear on my runs, and it's been so fun. Feels like I'm running with my besties, and don't even have to waste my breath talking back. But my question is in regards to nutrition. How do you focus on nutrition as a mom? I feel like I'm in survival mode with food and snacking and overeating. Thank you. - Every day is so different. Like, some days I'm really good about three meals a day. Snacks, honestly, it depends on the grocery shopping. The beginning of the week, I'm stellar. The end of the week, I'm just living off of beef sticks. So I don't know, I just feel like it fluctuates, and I honestly, to be honest, I haven't figured out fully, but I know the days that I prioritize protein and eating three meals, I feel the best. So I just always try to do that. - I think it helps with what you shop for. Like, you shop for healthy things, so it's like you don't have those things to like, snack on or eat. Like for me, if I'm gonna have a snack, I really want it to be filling. And so I just have easy accessible things that are filling like those like protein balls. I love the G2G bars, yogurt, beef sticks, cheese, and then I have been recently liking like chickpeas, like those like little snacks. Because it's easy to eat a lot of things that if they're not like actually satisfying you, it's easy to eat a lot like frequently. But if I'm like, oh, I'm not gonna get, I'm not gonna eat crazy if it's beef sticks and Greek yogurt. - Right. - And so, yeah, it is really hard, but just focus on like satiety. That for me, I focus on like satiety myself, but I'm also someone with a big appetite. So for people that like, I have friends, I like, I really just don't get that hungry. I'm like, what is that like? What do you do? I feel like I need to look at that hungry. When I'm pregnant, when you're pregnant. - I'm a snacker all the way through. I'm bad on nutrition. I just like to find, and again, I've said this before, I like calorie counting. It's the best way for me. But finding easy swaps that I still like in. Like I love a sweet tree after literally every single meal. And so I have these like 100 calorie gram cracker packets that I really like, but I just buy those. And then I don't have the candy or the like, other things at my house. And I'm still so excited to have that as a treat later. So I just find alternatives that I really like that aren't just like, oh, you can have a grape for dessert. I'm like, no, I'm gonna eat a bunch of grapes and then I'm gonna go get ice cream because I had nothing to do to do my snack. So I just say find the thing that works for you. Try to eat meals. I feel like that really helped me. For me, because I don't, I'm not like a prepper meal plan or anything, but I know the hardest, I know mornings and breakfast and dinner are the easiest meals for me to cook. Lunch is really like, who knows what's going on? So I'm like, okay, if I can control a really solid breakfast and a really solid dinner, then lunch can be a miscellaneous, whatever. And I just think finding ways that you can control, like, okay, for breakfast, I know I can have a single, like a Greek yogurt, some horrible eggs. Like, I don't want to cook necessarily, but I can plan things. I don't know, just like, what, what's the best? - That's a really good point. And you like to shape me in the moment. - As a mom, like, I just don't want to decide on breakfast. I eat the same breakfast every day, and it doesn't bother me. And then it's like, I always know that I'm getting a healthy breakfast or some, I use healthy loosely. I know I'm getting like a good amount of protein into my breakfast. And then I've already planned all my dinners. So then I think taking the decision out of your snacks and your meals will make things a lot easier for you as a mom. If you have to think or make another decision in your day, oh, no, no, I know, that's too much. - You're already making so many decisions. - At a year, I find, like, the same thing. It seems like a box of 100 fruit snacks, not for CJ, because I eat those suckers after, like, every. - I'm like, yeah, breakfast, the fruit snacks. - No, I bought those. - Setting fruit snacks. - That's crazy. - 'Cause they're the fruit snacks. - That's been me since I was birthday party. I got the big thing of fruit snacks, and now I've been eating fruit snacks all the time. I had, I had fruit acting in years. I love them, they're a great sweet treat. They are my go-to now. - I'm coming. - I'm like, breakfast at 10 a.m., and then I have a fruit snack afterwards. - I like so annoying about them. I'm like, CJ, you can have one a day, and I'm like, no, I give them more than that. - What time do you, when do you give your kid fruit snacks? 'Cause I'm like, Brielle, she can't chew those. I don't give them to her. - Oh, don't give her any. - I think it was like, after 18 months, I'm like, giving it. - When she gets mullers or something. - Yeah, you're gonna get mullers for that. - I did start giving them until the other kids read them. - I was like, I got fruit snacks for all the other kids that are here. I'm like, what are you doing? - I didn't even start puffing snacks until the other kids were getting snacks, and then CJ was like, mooching on. I was like, oh, he wants snacks. - Brielle, this is either a hack or a complete not hack, is that in Brielle's room, because we have zero storage in our tiny little apartment, I have a box under her bed that like, it sticks out 'cause it doesn't fit all the way in there. It has like little packets in it, and it has Pirates Booty bags in it. So when she's hungry, she'll just bring me one. - That's so cute. (laughing) - So I'll be like, okay, you're hungry. - It's so nice. - It's so nice. - It's so cute. - Or I'm like, no, we can't have another Pirates Booty today, but at least thank you for telling me you're hungry. And I'm trained her to bring me my purse if she wants milk. - Okay. - I don't perfect. She saw me one time put the milk in my purse when we were going somewhere, and now she just brings it. That said it's cute. I add the addy and addy. I'm a big fan of the podcast, my name is Julia. I am a new grad labor and delivery nurse. And so from your experiences, I was wondering what are some things that your Ellen D nurses did that you loved. Thank you, bye bye. - Oh, what a sweet question. - I would, if you're a triage nurse in the Ellen D department, and the woman that's having contractions, seems like she's in a lot of pain. And you check her and she's only in three. Say she's a four and get her checked in. Thank you. - Addy, like light of the doctor. - I told the lady, I said, if I'm not a four, I'm gonna cry. And she goes close enough. - Oh, that's sweet. - So who knows what I was actually at, but that just made me think of that. - That's really funny. - I love a really confident nurse. I love that my, this was just access. So this isn't good.
for you because if you're a new grad, you might be younger, but I loved that mine were older. I felt really safe. Yeah, they know they know. I was like you've seen some things. Yeah. And actually she had she chose his career path later in life. So she actually wasn't at anything. Yeah, but I just felt really like she was very confident. Yeah. She's very confident. Confidence is a big deal because we have no idea what's happening. Yeah, it's a very, you can feel out of control really easily. Especially when they're like coming so fast. What I really like that my labor and delivery nurse did is that she gave me like this is probably only really relevant. I guess if you're not going to if you're waiting to get an epidural, but she gave me markers like she was like you're going to come at this like in 30 minutes. You're going to come back and I'm going to check you. And then in 45 minutes like this is what's going to happen. She was very explicit about like how to because I feel like that's the thing about that's the thing that I was most anxious about. And I wasn't even as anxious about but like felt like really uncertain was like how long is this going to take. You don't know how long it's going to take. And I feel like that's the thing about pain and labor is like you can handle pain. But pain over extended period of time. That's what's really overwhelming. So she broke. She made markers for me like not that it was like relieving my pain when I but I just made it feel really manageable. I was like I just have to get 30 more minutes through this. I have to get 40 more minutes through this. And she was also really encouraging. She was like you're doing amazing. And I was like I don't feel like I am but like thank you. She was really encouraging. And it's like because I my husband was saying that but I was like you don't know you have no baseline for this. But someone that sees this every day like that really felt really good that she was like really encouraging. Totally. I feel like that's probably the biggest thing. And both my nurses have been so amazing at this. It's just speaking encouragement because yeah it's such a vulnerable unknown like kind of scary at a control feeling at times. But if you are confident and you're giving me compliments. I love you. I had a really bad nurse. That was the opposite of that. And she was a hater. That really brings your situation down. It's fun. I'm kind of I am going back and forth on this because my I felt like my nurse didn't really like tell me anything when she would like switch me positions because baby's heart rate was dropping a little bit or like they preferred me being different ways because of the heart rate dropping. And we were like like we just saw that and was like assuming that's why she was moving me versus the nurse never said anything. And so I was never worried about it. It was probably good. What was probably sitting and questioning what was happening. And like honestly I'm not opposed to you telling my husband what's going on and I don't know. Like I'm not opposed to either. But I don't know. Yeah I'm curious about that because there are a lot of things that happen with CJ delivery that I didn't know until I was talking to my sister who's in the medical field. And she was like that was like really bad. This was really scary. And they didn't tell me that in the moment. And I'm like and I understand why they don't tell you things in the moment because people panic. But I think afterwards I would have liked the debrief of like what I went through. Yeah. Because I had no idea. I'm like I don't know what happened to me. I just told me afterwards. She was like I put medicine in your butt. Yeah. I want. I kind of wish I had a debrief on thing. What just happened. She was like your hamburger. So I put medicine in your butt. I was like in my butt. That was really crazy that you just told me that in hindsight. But thank you for doing that after the fact. Yeah. Honestly that's I'm going to ask my doctor that this time after labor when he's like about any questions before I leave. I'm like can you just give me a debrief like did anything we were like. Yeah. But if something weird happens again this time. Yeah. Obviously if it's perfectly fine. I feel like I get that debrief at this six week though. I didn't want to know that day of. I'm like I have some questions for you next. Maybe that's true. Okay. See your nurse again. I want to know. I'm a doctor. Oh yeah. The doctor. Yeah. I mean there are just so many things like I was shocked by what she remembered from appointment to appointment from her chart probably every time. Because I was shocked too. She was like no. No. Abby. She literally remembered is one day all the charts were down at the office. And that was a problem. They were like do you want to reschedule. I was like I'm already here. Isn't I want to do this now. She remembered what I was dilated to the week before. I was like you have so many people. She remembered what I was a face to. She had the position. That's amazing. Of course I remember. It's all I'm thinking about that from the last time I saw you. But when I was trying to figure out if I was going to have a VVAC with Vivian. I kept asking the doctor. I was like you probably I kept saying. I was like you probably don't remember. And she was like no I remember. And I was like because you have my chart because it was so bad that you remember. Like was it so traumatic for you too? There's really good at their job. I was like what's the answer? I mean there's going to be days that are they're going to go home and maybe like days out to like when there's sad days or hard days. Okay last one real quick. Hi my name is Vivian. I live in Alberta, Canada. I was just wondering this is kind of a hot button topic these days. But I was wondering what your guys' opinion is on AI and kind of where it's headed. Thank you. Bye. You know what's actually interesting? These data centers there are a lot of them are getting not are not being allowed to be put in in these cities. And I think in my head sometimes I'm like oh we as the people don't have a say. But they kind of have a say. And if these data centers don't get put in it will affect the future of AI. And I was just kind of like this kind of interesting because I do think Gen Z is a little bit more vocal about about there being against it. Oh like the sentiment is pretty negative around AI which I don't disagree with. I absolutely don't fully agree with. I'm kind of just like neutral about it. I don't really care. I don't necessarily know everything. I don't actively use it. It's going to sound stupid. How does AI use water? I think it's a cool machine. I was talking to a killer about that. They have to keep all those all those machines cold. But do they recycle the water that they use? I don't know. I don't know anything about that. But I think it's interesting to see that we as people actually do have a say. And like what's the big open AI? Or one of them just had a huge crash in the stock market, right? Am I correct about this? And so it's just okay the I don't think investors are maybe as they're kind of like pumping the brakes a little bit on AI which I think is interesting. So I don't know. I'm not getting it to Z about it. I used to google things because I was like I don't want to do this. But then Jim and I is the first thing that pops up. So that's when I kind of was like I don't like when AI is used for creative things. It really bothers me or moral things. That's where there's like I'm like you can use AI for information. Okay. I don't still don't really understand where it's coming from. I guess it's just aggregating a bunch of different. It's creeping everything. That's kind of confusing for me. I'll use it for information. I use it to get like recipes. But I don't want to use it for I don't like it when it's used for creativity purposes and I don't like it when it's used for like making like moral ethical decisions. I think that's creepy. Super. Why would you give a give technology that power? Right. That's that's messed up. But I also don't like it when I'm scrolling through Pinterest and I see AI images and I'm like this is supposed to be creative. Like this was like yeah for sure. Yeah I agree. I don't fully agree. I agree with all your things. From a work standpoint I've we've I've really leaned into how I've heard AI won't take your job. Someone who knows how to use it will. And I think that's really protective and like not like knowing how to use it is important. But I think there are jobs it will take because a lot of I mean Matt redesigned our website with AI. Like sure. And so there are things that it can do which is really cool and can make like even just with visual beauty for example like having a system that replies to a lot of our inquiries and changes people's shipping addresses addresses for them. Amazing. Yeah. But like I want the content for the brand to be made by people. I want the photos to be taken by people. I don't like it when there's like all these generated generated online content and photos. Like I want a photographer to take the picture of the real mascara bottle. And it's weird that that seems like a lot to ask nowadays. Yeah. Like yeah that's crazy. Yeah that's weird. Yeah I like the future of it. Every technology is going to take jobs. Every new advancement takes jobs and obviously that's like sad and scary. But usually with that is a formation of new jobs. I do think AI is a little interesting that takes out the menial tasks so people that don't really have skills or it will really hurt them. And so I think that's a really interesting thing. I mean doing you to get into like what's it called when everyone there's like a base pay rate that the Internet or the government pays UBI universal base income. Like that's a crazy thought. You know I don't know. Just some of that stuff is like pretty interesting. Those are not rabbit holes that I dwell too much on because but I think we can't worry about it. We can't worry. Some people are really worried about AI. I mean I genuinely sometimes am worried about it. But it's outside like what does mean as the individual. That's what I think is kind of cool about Gen D being like hey we're not going to put data centers in and like we're going to pump the brakes on this as a people. I'm like wow it's pretty cool. I feel like it kind of goes into it's a generational thing too but like for example my mom has never had her face ID on her phone on her iPhone for a really long time. Recently she just like enabled it. She goes at this point they have my face. That's hard to talk about cookies on every website. I like to take my cookies. Yeah. I don't even know what they are. They eat me cookies actually. I feel like the more things are just going to just learn how to
I'm gonna use it to your ability and know where you're stopping. - There's a time and a place. - Yeah. - Totally, I am. - Okay, recipes. - I have such a good recipe I made with last night. I have never made your recipes I made with last night. It's a dessert, it was fall. I filmed a fall video yesterday and I was like, this is gonna be amazing. Pumpkin pie crisp. Pumpkin pie crisp is cinnamon stirs all. It's basically like pumpkin pie on the bottom. Cinnamon stirs all on top. It's not groundbreaking, it was so easy to make. You just put mix all the liquid together, pour it in your pan and then this stirs all on top. Oh my gosh, it's so good. I love that you just made this on a weeknight. Well, I know I was filming like a fall YouTube video and so one of my objectives was to make a fall dessert. I do, I get in modes. I don't really bake outside of the fall. I love fall baking. - You're making some blueberry crumbles in the summer. - You're right, I do like summer baking and I actually do like some springtime baking too. So, forget everything I just said. I like a pumpkin pie but it's kind of boring to me. This takes the good parts of the pumpkin pie and then enhances it which is so. - Should I make a pumpkin pie with a pumpkin? I kind of wanna do that, I've wanted to do that. But it feels unnecessary like the pie wouldn't taste better but at Trader Joe's they have pumpkin pie pumpkins. - I mean, who cares if it doesn't taste better, it's just fun, right? - Is it gonna be worth it? - I mean, I don't think in any world it would taste better. - Okay. - I don't think it'd be like worth it, it's gonna taste better. - Yeah, I don't think it'd taste better. - It might be yes, I think that's the point. Yeah, I don't think the point is for it to taste better. - Yeah, I kind of do wanna do it. - I've never eaten a pumpkin pie because I say I don't like pumpkin but I like pumpkin muffin. - You like these things? So I'd be curious to try a pumpkin pie. - But Adi you're saying you say you don't like pumpkin pie but you haven't had it? - Yeah. - That's a rule in our household. - I should have brought you a slice of this pumpkin pie crisps with cinnamon stirs up because it's unbelievable. - I'm sure I'll try one this time. - I'm gonna force feed it to you. - No, no, I'll try it. - That's crazy. - I'm at the point that I'm willing to try because I like pumpkin bread, I like pumpkin muffins, I like pumpkin cookies. - Yeah. - You're allowed to not like it, Adi. - I think pumpkin pie is good to try. - I will try it. - That's how I just take one bite. - I will take one bite. - There are times that we did, that's how my kids threw up on the plate. (laughing) - That was a great idea. - I was like, you don't ever have to eat that again. - I made it. - I made it. - I made it into a pumpkin and he literally threw it up on the plate. - There was just over there at one time at the old house. There was one piece of chicken. One of your kids had to eat one piece of chicken. That's a memorable time. - It was one bite. - The whole family was there. - These kids will break you. - The one bite of chicken will get you. - Every person went to the table separately. We were like, okay. - I know, that's a power struggle. - Then that's what I could lose. - It was a power struggle. - I'm not gonna lose, so we're sitting here. We are sitting here. My recipe is, I had it for lunch day. I've been having it for lunch a lot of days because lunches are really hard. This salad, I had it at Neaters, which, where is Neaters even located? It's in Arizona and Utah. Is it anywhere else? - I haven't ever tasted it. - Neaters bakery, you've seen it, into the K. - Oh yeah, yeah. - A little bread basket logo. - Yep. - I do love it. - Caneaters? - Caneaters, is that ring a bell? I have their large, large berry chicken salad. You can literally make it at home and it's so easy. And so I started making it, get spring mix. I air fry my, I get the chicken breast tenders, just because it's easier to cook. You're probably paying a little extra, but then I was like, I'm actually eating chicken for lunch today. It's great, just good for your day. - Air fry it. Candied pecans are key here. That is what will make this worth it for you. Blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, sliced red onion, feta. And then the red, red raspberry walnut vinaigret. It is such a good salad, yeah. I look forward to eating it, it's delicious. It's really quick. Just think that time you throw the salad together, your chicken will be ready and it will make it, it takes me 15 minutes max. And it's so good. - There's some pepeitas in there. - Pepeitas, pumpkin seeds from your pumpkin, five pumpkin. - In addition to my Candied pecans. - Why not? - It's crazy. - They actually do croutons that needers too, but it doesn't really feel like it needs it for me. - Yeah, I love croutons. - It's a really good salad. - Good, yummy, I'm gonna have to say, I asked GBT how I could recreate the caneders. - Large berry chicken salad. - That's a good use of it, I think. - Thank you. - Yeah, I think it is. - I knew that a human could do it. I knew with my head, I could get there. - Right. - I doubled a recipe with, or I just threw it in there. - You doubled it? - Well, just 'cause you know the measuring. - That's it. (laughing) - I love that. - I'm like, what's, I don't know what, one cup and one third is, times two. - You can just put another one cup and one third in. - Yeah, but I wanted to full. - I feel like doubling isn't hard to people when I triple something, I'm like, all pets are off, these measurements are crazy. - When I'm thirding things, I need help. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Or thirding or X one third. - I've never done that, actually. - I'm always doing weird math when I'm thirding a recipe. Like one third? - Or if you're like, it's more like multiplying it by a third. Stop, I don't know what you're talking about. - Okay, you guys, if you want to call and leave a voice mail, the number is 602. - I'm cooking for a lot of people sometime. I don't know what that means, I'm thirding. - Why is it, why not just like double it? - I'm not thirding it. - Sorry. - I'm gonna fifthing it. - 602, based on the amount of meat you have. - 9690. - 6245, 9690, I'll tell you off camera. - I'm dead, you guys. We are not getting enough time together. I think that's why. - Thank you guys for listening to the podcast. - I'm so sorry, I'm literally, public apology. If you were at this point, gosh, I'm sorry. I'll be better next week. - I'll take some brain fog things. Maybe we need to start listening to bad and do more of this week. - Yeah. - Maybe they'll just be all this long. - Matt really wants us to have more than one episode. - More than one episode each. (laughing) - Okay, it's so long, it's so long. - We have one that's just life updates and wow, that's crazy. - We can not come back on this episode. - Let's just throw it out there. - I'll do a like. - What do you guys think? - Two episodes of it. - Yeah, what do you guys think? - I'm also curious what's everyone's favorite segment. - Yeah. - Comment your favorite segment. - Additional segment ideas. - That'd be fun. - Yeah. - Okay, if you guys speaking of leaving comments, if you want to leave us a review, we would love that on any of the podcast platforms that you're listening on. Haley and F said, "My Fave podcast five stars. My favorite podcast, the one that I never miss or skip an episode and I look forward to every week. It's so relatable and it makes me laugh out loud, breath or fresh air. Keep doing what y'all are doing, Haley. - Thank you. - It's so nice. I feel so good to hear. - It really does. - If you guys want to join our Patreon, we're going to talk about our book club in depth. Is it this episode? - It'll even be this episode or next. - That's crazy, this is episode. But it could be this one or next. But-- - I think a lot needs to be edited out of this episode. - I know. - Probably. - I'm so sorry, Randy. - Anyway, we have a book club that we do every month and we talk about it on the episode, but we do a full in depth book club and you guys get to join too on Patreon. We also do more recipes. We do extended segments every episode. It's at free. So go check us out on a Patreon. It is $5 a month. - It's so fun, can you hear me? - It is so fun. - I love it over there. So thank you guys for watching. And remember, we're always here. (upbeat music)
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The hosts discuss the impact of pornography on the brain, noting that people trying to avoid it often cannot fully escape it due to its widespread presence.
A controversial sports betting ad featuring Sydney Sweeney, showing her fully nude and in a sexual pose, sparked strong reactions and raised concerns about objectification and female empowerment in media.
The hosts express discomfort with the ad's overt sexuality, feeling it crosses a line, especially when promoted by a major brand and shared publicly on social media.
There's a broader conversation about how social media platforms allow extreme content to spread, and how this normalizes sexualized imagery of women, especially in public spaces.
The hosts highlight the importance of spiritual and emotional boundaries, referencing a documentary on church abuse that reveals how manipulation and power abuse can go unchecked in religious settings.
They emphasize that personal boundaries around body exposure—like breastfeeding—should not be commodified or shared publicly.
A discussion on family life reveals challenges with parenting routines, sleep patterns, and emotional well-being, especially after transitions like travel or vacation.
The episode concludes with a call to reflect on personal values, boundaries, and how media and societal norms shape parenting and faith.
Summary:
The episode blends personal parenting experiences with broader societal issues, including the normalization of sexualized content online. The hosts discuss a controversial ad featuring Sydney Sweeney, which shows her nude and in a sexual pose, sparking debate about objectification and the objectification of women in media. They express discomfort with the ad’s overt nature and its potential to influence young audiences, especially in the context of social media.
This ties into larger concerns about body exposure, privacy, and consent—particularly around breastfeeding or maternity, which the hosts argue should remain private and respectful. The conversation extends to spiritual abuse, highlighted by a documentary on a religious leader’s manipulation of church members, emphasizing the dangers of unchecked power and emotional control. The hosts also reflect on personal routines, sleep struggles, and emotional fatigue as new parents, stressing the importance of structure and self-care.
Throughout, the episode advocates for personal boundaries, emotional integrity, and mindful consumption of media, especially content that shapes how women and families view themselves in public. Ultimately, it serves as a reminder to balance hope and honesty in parenting, while remaining vigilant about the cultural messages that influence daily life.
FAQs
The ad is criticized for being overly explicit, featuring Sydney Sweeney fully nude and in a sexual pose. Critics argue it objectifies her body and appears to exploit her fame for a sexualized message, especially given the context of a sports betting app targeting men. There's also concern about the normalization of such content on social media platforms like Instagram.
Some parents express discomfort with breastfeeding being openly shared online, viewing it as inappropriate or revealing. One host states, 'I don’t want to see it on my Instagram feed,' emphasizing modesty and personal boundaries, while acknowledging that it can be a beautiful and personal moment for mothers.
The documentary reveals a case of severe spiritual and emotional abuse within a religious community, where a pastor manipulated his wife and other members through control, gaslighting, and emotional blackmail. It highlights issues of power, abuse, and the dangers of idolizing spiritual leaders.
The show notes that numerous studies show the effects of pornography on the brain, and acknowledges that even those trying to avoid it often can't resist it. The topic is framed as a widespread and deeply ingrained issue, especially in modern media and social environments.
Parents discuss challenges like newborn sleep patterns, establishing routines, and managing early morning wake-ups. They also share concerns about children's behavior, such as crying, and strategies like using songs or routines to calm them.
The show questions the appropriateness of sharing intimate moments like breastfeeding or nudity online, emphasizing modesty and personal boundaries. It suggests that such content can be seen as objectifying or inappropriate, especially when shared publicly without consent.
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