In-Law Horror Stories, P*rnography Debate, & Breastfeeding Online

fx's american horror story returns for an unrivaled 13th installment with the iconic horrors you love to fear and an all-star cast reprising fan favorite roles light your candles draw your pentagrams and prepare for a supreme surprise fx's american horror story 13 now streaming on hulu this episode is brought to you by netflix's new series east of eden a bold reimagining of john steinbeck's masterpiece following generations of the trask family through love betrayal and the choices that shape humanity starring mike feist and christopher abbott as the trask brothers and florence pew as kathy ames the complex anti-heroine determined to build the life she wants no matter the cost watch east of eden october 1st only on netflix breastfeeding to me is not an excuse to put your on the internet that's my hot take i am currently breastfeeding right now on the internet yeah but you're covering i'm just kidding there's so much studies coming out about the effects of pornography on the brain genuinely people that are trying to avoid it just cannot avoid it as a mom we've always like known that this is going to be something we're gonna have to tackle it feels like that envelope is getting like pushed more and more my mother-in-law calls my baby by the name she likes rather than the one we chose that's a tv show i need to drive the car before buying aka sleep with their son before marriage he's having good time welcome back to always here we're your host abby howard and abby howard it always feels so funny doing that because we're just talking the whole time before and then then but i like this because then i'm like okay zip it up get your energy back up get it together get it together well we are here to share the hope and the hard with heart and humor so we like to start our episodes with the hope and a hard cheers i already sucked mine down my coffee thank you for making me that by the way yeah sorry does it feel weird about the milk's temperatures it's a little it's a little weird i thought so that's why i sucked it down just gotta get it i'm actually not gonna sip on this one abby made a latte with cold milk well it was a hot latte it was a hot latte with cold milk and i said that's we'll take what you can get at this point yeah uh okay well what's your hope my hope is that fisher's been only waking up once in the night what already yeah i mean he did wake up at 5 30 this morning yeah it's early but one time ain't bad so one time like in the middle of night round two yeah and then you're up for the day at 5 30 that's a weird time today i was but the other days it's been like six or later usually but yeah this one's gonna be a little bit longer this one was 5 30 that's a hard time it was 5 33 well then i fed him exactly then i fed him and then i just went on a walk yeah you're like i can't go to bed now oh yeah no because this well also my kids wake up early so it was about that time anyway perfect no but it was good i'll take one wake up and an early wake up for the day rather than multiple wake ups and then sleeping till like eight you know what i mean what time do you go to bed uh like 10 see that's late that's his feed and then two and then 5 30 yeah you're still not getting like eight hours yeah no no not getting eight hours yeah i feel like that's two really 10 and two because technically is he asleep before the 10 uh yeah are you asleep before the 10 no no then it's one yeah yeah i mean i wouldn't be able to go to bed at eight i don't think that he would go to bed for the night at eight like he's kind of restless yeah at that time he's like kind of in and out of sleep that witching hour we said we're getting hit with that but nobody do oh my gosh i just unlocked i forgot that for like witching hour remember it was at 11 p.m until like two and like it was really weird for a couple weeks oh i feel like witching hour is normally like 5 p.m i know like 11 p.m that's spooky like one week and i was like hey that's gonna change it that's the thing it'll change it'll change it always does but what's your hope my hope let me go back i wrote it down oh i'm back in the routine yesterday no i'm sorry two days ago on monday you know we got back wednesday thursday i was basically a lump log from just being tired from the trip and spent the whole day with the kids and then friday was kind of a busy work day and so saturday sunday i was like let's not do anything but we kind of did a lot so i just feel like we didn't really yeah i saw you saturday and sunday yeah actually saturday we weren't home at all so i was like this wasn't really we didn't have a day to just sit really which is fine but then on monday i said i that's the day i'm getting back in the routine because it's beneficial for me and i feel great i'm extremely sore i went back to the gym the last two days like probably hurt my wrist i don't know i'm just like what's going on but you know what it feels so good to be back yeah it feels good to get in the routine and just rip the band-aid off helps your motivation get back up you know yeah yeah i don't i'm like i'm someone that before kids i was like i don't like routine i don't like doing the same things every day and then now i'm like we need we need that yeah yeah we need that we need that everyone's better we all thrive in it yes so it's been really good to feel back kind of under an umbrella of these are our days um so that's great that is good but you're hard my heart is that my baby won't take a binky yeah that is hard i never really i would have thought that would be a really good idea because we've had binky addicts uh previously but now it's a little bit they're kind of nice yeah we're not replacing the binky in the night but he can't really de-escalate the binky in the night but he can't really de-escalate the binky in the night without eating yeah i'm like what if he becomes a thumb sucker because he can't just possibly pacify with me constantly right right like what if he sucks his thumb what do you have done that already no way no i don't think so so maybe we're on the road for that i keep trying with the binky i've tried multiple i've actually tried four different kinds i even talked to his pediatrician about it she was like trying to give me tips on how to get him to do it and then she was also like because he has like a really high palate have you seen it addy no the roof of his mouth goes up it goes up really far like a mountain is that good or bad or what is that i don't know what does it affect binky usage yeah i feel like it probably will go like as he gets bigger i imagine that he will be an amazing singer or something i don't know he's got the windpipe lots of room for wind in there it can resonate really well his vibrato will be incredible insane yeah she was like oh yeah see look in here his palate's pretty high i was like oh my god maybe he'll be like joey chest i couldn't even like a chipmunk he'll be like a champion hot dog eater i would get that really high but like you know nothing's blocking okay well full bun yeah the world is your oyster the future is bright the future is bright for him bleak for us because i mean gosh or me specifically i have become lay binky that's great but um you know he's a month old it'll change it could change yeah but it might you never know we could be stuck with this fun three years later he's still using me like okay and it's stuck right all right well what's your heart that is tough i'm sorry it's not that big of a deal but it is it's pressing it's inconvenient in the car especially when he's so upset i'm like i wish i could just pop a binky in your mouth so bad he's just rattling his cry i'm like breathe something like they're blowing his face someone used to literally like people used to always say like there's the there's a song what's it called to play for them it's like the baby the happy song and they people like said this is it this is a song it works like a charm so i would play it we'd just be playing the song and screaming at the same time i'm like it's more of a stupid lady but people say this works so i'm like matt does that he'll play music to just like lighten the mood because it's so sad with the baby crying i'm like i am so i don't use that word often yeah but that is over stimulating that's too much because then they're also our other kids are trying to talk to like mom dad and it's like the music and then one screaming two talking music playing i can't there's no room for my thoughts yeah yeah like there's literally no and driving conversation he just had a podcast playing in the background i'm like pause i can't i'm listening to sports this is a football game live stream that he's listening to and i'm like hey you gotta pick one so i make him put one on mute because that's just ridiculous both have the volume on full volume loud i'm like that's actually rude you don't get two volumes in this house in this house where's my volume what volume do i get yeah i'm like trying to listen to my tiktok so it's quiet as possible i'm like wait a minute wait a minute this isn't fair no wait i was gonna say we have a song that we sing in the car it goes and it works for both of them but you can insert children's name here we go cj cj ho ho ho cj makes him happy ha ha ha they just kind of stop because they hear their name no he doesn't know his name yet no but then they kind of like the song and cj cj cj cj cj one two three and just loop it you know okay and we'll do it with vivian it's effective so do it give him a little higher shot i'll report back yeah i can try it my heart this is so silly i said vacation hangover is real we really need some new goals um that's real specifically caleb is such a goal-oriented person and he's gotten back from this vacation he's like life we need more meaning like what is the next thing you know you just that was such a big goal like financial marriage fitness quality time travel it was just all the big things it was every what every category what every what no you're making me so much sense i just had a thought that distracted me i was like you could try the song on that was just so stupid i was like i'm not gonna say it but then that really was cracking me up maybe okay like it it's his song it's endearing it could shock him out of it you never know um no that's hard just start singing to him rubbing his back that's the same way yeah yeah it's like after you hit a goal it's just been and i kind of felt it too just low motivation so i said today because it's been a couple days now because he's also gonna be going through like a transition too like he's waiting for waiting for his next career move and so he just feels discontent which i feel like we all have seasons like that so i don't i feel like vacations do bring that out of you i remember when we went to visit you guys in hawaii and we were in kansas city that was kind of a shake-up to us was like hey we've gotten really comfortable and this trip has been really out of our comfort zone and so amazing so we kind of felt like that was the time to do something uncomfortable and move that's when we moved to arizona and i feel like the kill kind of felt that from the trip you know like oh it's like a good shake-up got him out of his routine and it's like okay i'm ready for the future yeah and so i think for us now it's like to tonight we need to sit down and journal and pray and like just set new goals and see what comes you know so we'll see yeah yeah that's exciting also i know i think it's a great place to be but the vacation hangover was real that's tough totally life is so hard you know you go to italy and then i actually no i would get that as a kid just stupid i would literally get that as a kid yeah so bad i remember just being like so out of sorts when we get home from trip oh my gosh did your parents did your mom stay for longer afterwards it was amazing yeah she's staying two extra days good which that wasn't the original plan we actually had our flight times mixed up for when we were getting back she's supposed to leave before we even got back so then she switched her flight to two days later and it was perfect because it kind of gave us thursday to just we were dead like so tired and then friday was really busy so it was kind of the perfect ease your parents crushed it they did they really did it was so sweet i'm like i have the best parents i mean we have the best families like in-laws and parents but my parents shout out because my mom even slept in an air mattress pushed up against cj's bed those last two days i think about that a lot that's i know very selfless sacrificial i'm like she's late 60s and an air mattress and her and i'm sure she's waking her up early so early climbing up that with her i mean it's just so sweet she just was such a good sport about it and yeah they had such a good time i think that's a really cool thing and we're going to get into it too but like all of us have left our kids with our parents for at least a few days at a time now and i'm like not everyone can say that they would like trust their parents to do that just like that's so cool that like i know we have that or their parents would be willing to even do that yes yeah i mean that's a lot like we're used to doing it day in and day out but like if you've been out of that game for 25 years yeah that's that's a shock well that's what my mom kept when we were planning this trip i said i'm not booking a trip without dad being able to come too because seven days alone with two kids and a dog and a dog is a lot and even for me i'm their mom you know more than three or four days you're kind of like oh my gosh i just would love you back honey you know yeah so i was like that's it's just too much she's like no i could do it i could do it and i insisted i said no no no so afterwards she said yeah i'm really glad your dad was here because yeah you're just not used to that level of energy yeah yeah at all so yeah i'm so grateful it's been amazing thank you to hungry root for sponsoring this portion of today's episode i personally love a meal service kit and i love when they're minimal ingredients minimal steps minimal dishes and hungry root has nailed it so we got the opportunity to create a cookbook with hungry root our cookbook is a personal collection of our favorite recipes and grocery items hungry root built a delivery service that brings together meal kit convenience with groceries to a variety to deliver everything from daily staples to nourishing dinners that are personalized to be exactly what you want to have for your meal so i'm really excited to see how that is going to turn out some of the meals that i picked were the bison and veggie skillet an asiago chicken sandwich chicken strips these are salad wrap the variety that hungry root offers is amazing everything from american to italian middle eastern they just have something for everyone and the quality of the meat is unbelievable i am shook by it we got bison we got wagyu beef we also have in our cookbook some of the ready to go meals from their grocery section mediterranean style chicken tourmables and the lemon herb chicken with fair are the ones i picked out and i'm so excited to see how it turns out and i'm so excited to see how it turns out very easy for a lunch or a last minute meal explore our digital cookbook on hungry root today and find recipes that are right for you go to hungryroot.com always here to access our cookbook always hungry with the abby howards should we go wow that's crazy yeah we have a lot of wow that's crazy today so we really got to get into it a lot has been going on that has been crazy wow that's crazy wow that's crazy that's crazy we got some crazy things i haven't even talked about any of these with you guys like this is what i know i know we haven't i personally have not debriefed with you guys yes these are good well the first one to kick off did you guys see the sydney sweeney ad yes i'm not even going to say the name of the company because that's what they want they want us to talk about it i'm not giving them the satisfaction i didn't know about this until our call on monday yeah so you kind of explain it well yes for people that might not know sports betting app and they did an ad with sydney sweeney a partnership and it's quite honestly the most explicit ad i've ever seen in my life and i think that's what's shocking about i'm like oh this is the new line i don't know if you've seen it but it's the new line i don't know if you've seen it i don't even think it's a tv ad i don't know if it'd be allowed to be put on television there's no way that would be allowed on her instagram i feel like it's an instagram ad yeah there's no way that that could go on no television i don't think so she she's like basically fully nude i mean she's fully nude and she has uh different balls different sports equipment covering her areas private areas i was on the call as they were like telling me to find it yes and i was like whoa whoa and they're like keep scrolling keep and i was like oh my i know i was like wow they did that i mean i there was the reason we talk about it is because there was a whole conversation that i actually didn't understand to be honest like i feel like all these girls started posting this is what real women in sports look like yes was i confused about that why was that the argument i let let's go back to the beginning of the what the ad is so sports betting it's a sports betting app that only you can bet on sports all of these other betting sports sites you can bet on other things you can bet on politics you can bet on yeah derbies you can bet on wars is what i do think she maybe talked about that but to be honest i didn't hear a word and me either so it's so bad i'm no better than a man the ad and none of you guys responded to my text when you said we were going to do that and i said sports none of you like you said sports i was confused i thought you didn't finish your that's all she said in the ad like at the end it was just sports honestly i didn't get it because i didn't see i didn't hear i was also on the call i was like i was just distracted by my visuals i was like whoa i was like they either this is gonna be really funny or not and you just i'm sorry i didn't think you finished the text sorry it's like she must have so you guys didn't watch the ad no i didn't i literally just i just watched i didn't listen to it yeah that was on a call it's just sports is like the theme of the ad like yeah just sports that's all the betting clarification also did you guys know she is a strategic partner and equity holder in this company oh so she's she created that she created the ad she said i think this is what we should do i think that is a completely different side of the world than men being like sydney sweeney you should do this ad you know rather than her like having the idea probably of being like yeah let's do it i mean let me tell you something they know their target audience i think that's what made me sad though i was like dang yes you i'm sorry what no my first thought was i was sad as well but i was just sad i don't look like that i was like i'll never be me well i'm gonna have a pity party now i was like shimmy she looks amazing oh of course um my second thought was i just i don't know that i want to know but i'm so curious the logistics behind the shot of her spread eagle on the basketball dude how did they do that do you think she had a tiny little plastic thong we were or at that point is it worth it was she just actually straddling that nikki nudie i'd like to my full opinion let me watch it again no please don't i was literally just like my first thought was like i'm not attracted no like i my first thought was like wow she wow shocking she looks amazing look at the pictures i only watched the video i'm looking at the pictures third what are the logistics behind that shot i know honestly like is her whole business up in that basketball up in that basketball hoop and i have to assume it is because how do you hide that i don't know with the shot that they had we saw her whole i'm sure there were so many people was there a sticker over it i don't know in which case i would want a sticker at least i bet that at that point it's also like honestly i bet there is just touch it up afterwards and you get rid of it like you get i think you can edit you think she had underwear on but even like her getting up on there like how we do this how we do this whole thing i've never been a part of something like that i don't know but i would assume i would think in my head like when i was a kid and i think about sex scenes and movies i was like oh yeah they're totally wearing underwear and like pasties but i actually don't think they are a lot of the times oh well i feel like in movies and stuff like when it's between two people there's a lot of safety like really yeah they have a whole coordinator for like intimate scenes oh that's good yeah so they probably had something like that for this i would think i don't know my my other thing is that she's a professional if she's spear holding this way spearheading that's true that's actually so interesting i did not know that that's yeah that's interesting context other the next line of this article that i also think is an important part to think about too is the data shows that the company's brand awareness surged right because of this i've never heard of them like she absorbed the personal reputational cost and so i think she has done a lot of like controversial things and she just honestly doesn't not that she doesn't care but like about she's fine to have that controversy and that maybe even it was a thing with this she's like i know this is gonna bring up some conversation for sure so do you feel like don't like her and men like her is that the conversation i don't know i don't dislike her i just sometimes i it's not new sometimes i i get frustrated with media because it's just the same old tricks done a different way you know like i'm like it's not shocking anymore i mean i was shocked but it honestly shouldn't be shocking anymore because it's it's always the same thing it's always like overtly sexual woman nude whatever i'm like okay been there done that like what's new you know what i mean is it better or worse if she is the one that like is that changes everything for me i actually think on low-key i'm like i don't like that i like it i like that less in my head i'm like it makes sense if a guy is rationalizing that and is like oh this will get the dudes you know naked hottie but the girl doing it i'm almost like that i'm supposed a little manipulative are you saying i think it's better but it makes me sadder for her yeah more so i don't know yeah i don't know what do you think i don't know i know this is like kind of tricky actually i'm like are we digging am i taking myself i just want to review this before we post yeah no i think it makes me a little sadder i think it makes me sad because i think because just because it feels like selling your body yeah yeah it feels like you're opting it's one thing if someone else does something terrible like objectify you it's another thing for you to objectify yourself so uh-huh i i think it's an interesting thing too because i i listen to like a podcast that talks about pop culture stuff and they talked about this on it blake listens to a podcast from the same network that is a guy's sports podcast and they talked about it too okay on theirs and so but i don't have a well-formed opinion the thing i didn't hear everything about it but the the fact that they're bringing up being like this is kind of a crazy ad like even the guys are being like this is it's the most pornographic ad i've ever seen no i i agree i think there's a lot of talk going around about it right now but also i'm like there's other things that this isn't the only thing we've ever seen that's like this like there's what's like the naked magazines like where the like celebrity is completely and it's men and women the sports one sports illustrated like yeah the body edition yeah like when it's like the cover is either a male or a female naked but why does that not feel sexual like it feels to me like that magazine i'm like they're naked but it feels like they're showing off their strength yeah and their muscle whereas this was like it's about sports but it's really about sex yeah yeah because i think even in this ad like the way she's talking or the poses that she's in and and things like that so it's very sexual yeah i don't know i just i think overall just made me really sad because i don't men and women both struggle with lust and porn and it's a huge topic of conversation i feel like there's so much studies coming out about the effects of pornography on the brain like secular studies coming out about this and i just i'm like genuinely people that are trying to avoid it just cannot avoid it yeah and it's so prevalent and it's everywhere and yeah it's just sometimes like overwhelming like i didn't really i didn't want to see that i agree i feel like it's one thing for like that content to exist you know behind like 18 plus like yeah and for her obviously to be choosing to do that like behind that type of thing but on instagram like i got an instagram account when i was in like what seventh or eighth grade when it came out i think that the implications of like this being an ad that is not just like it's by big like a-list celebrities big companies and no like also just like as a mom like raising kids that where i'm like social media will always we've always like known that this is going to be something we're gonna have to tackle but it's like now it feels like that envelope is getting like pushed more and more yeah i'm surprised it doesn't have like a sensor on it like this video heard the reel of the ad has 55 million views well of course um that's also why i didn't feel bad bringing this up on the podcast because i was like we don't want to be like slanderous or like talk like gossip but this was something that they wanted talked about yeah yeah that's the whole point that was the whole point so it's like i feel like they invited that conversation uniquely you know what i mean okay let's let's scroll through like some of her videos like they people send them like a hundred thousand two hundred thousand the ad the video itself has 2.9 million cents and then the the pictures have 2.1 million yeah yeah that's like a crazy scale like so many and think about how many of those are like young people and i think that it's no like if you're raising girls or boys like either way there there's a lot of there's a lot of implications to that post that like you know it just continues to drive the conversation of like i mean i think that constitutes as pornography yeah and then like but that's not even like sometimes you think about like these websites where it's like you have to give credit card information you have to do like you have to verify i don't even know how this all works exactly but you there's like certain blocks to it and this is literally just like on instagram where people can use it for in such a tame way or you could accidentally stumble upon this and i think about that a lot and it freaks me out well you know like i didn't see i didn't it wasn't serve the ad but i saw videos of girls responding to the ad and then i'm like okay but now you're just making a bigger deal you know what i mean and sometimes that to me i would debate even bringing it up on this podcast because i'm like i don't want to draw attention to it or make it a bigger thing and sometimes that's you know that is their whole goal and so it's like people talking about it and bringing it up and even in like a way that i would say that they deemed this campaign a major success but i bet they're so happy with it yeah um i know it just feels like oh a little i feel like this is a quest this is a way to kind of bring it back to our show specifically and if you guys don't want to go into this category we don't have to but what do you think about like maternity photos i don't like them with like boobs out i'm sorry being naked and breastfeeding to me is not an excuse to put your on the internet that's my hot take i say over and over again i've been saying it for a long time i think it's the same thing i'm like i didn't go on my instagram feed and open it up to see naked boobs with like your arms over i don't know they're beautiful and i think they can be i think i do think they're beautiful i am currently breastfeeding right now on the internet abigail yeah but you're covered i think it's i think the woman's body is so beautiful and so amazing and i'm like take those pictures and keep them like i think those are really special moments and beautiful things to celebrate but like i don't necessarily want to see it yeah on my instagram feed i don't know you like that i don't know you're like that you know what i mean it's like i don't like that yeah i do mine i had one like i had a shirt that like clipped and it was there was a little bit of open space in between each clip and i'm like this might be too much yeah it's like i don't know i don't know you like that i'm like even some of mine i had one like i had a shirt that like clipped and it was there was a little bit of open space in between each clip and i'm like this might be too much yeah like a little bit of cleavage i'm like i don't know yeah i know and i know i'm coming from like a more modest like i am probably a little bit more sensitive to those things but still i just like i could share my opinion yeah i'm also not a fan of them being public i think if you want them to be private that's fun that's cool i know i don't personally want to take a picture of myself naked but if you want yeah i guess that's it like the standard is the same for sydney sweeney and like pregnant ladies to me i'm like i'm not if it is the same yeah my my standard is probably the same but i don't know everyone has their own opinions on it and everyone feels comfortable posting different things but i think specifically with hers like it's such it's so sexual in nature that it is a different conversation i don't know we talked about it with the only fans and like sexualizing our bodies and different things and i just think it's sad she i mean she is like a big name celebrity when is another time other than like maybe the camera dash i was gonna say kim kardashian i actually used her body like to get up yeah and stuff yeah i i was like i was a little shocked by it because i'm like she is so a-list it just kind of felt like maybe kim did it at the beginning yeah of her career to help boost her whereas sydney's like at the top of her game i was like girl you don't have to take your clothes off you're famous and rich you got the housewife you know what i mean the housemate the housemate yeah it's like you're you're you've made it career-wise that's why i don't know it's kind of surprising i think this will be a conversation that a lot of people probably disagree with me on or i don't know i'm expecting a lot of different opinions on this well there probably already are wait what's the connection between women and sports i didn't think there was one and that's why i was confused with all these girls making a video about it were they trying to say that women that they should have highlighted an athlete in the ad instead of just like someone with a rocking body i'm more so thinking they're like why are you associating a woman with sports sexually instead of just doing like actual oh but your argument is that it's sports betting and not like it's not it's not sport it's not women it's not a women's sports ad yeah no it's just sports it's just sports targeted towards men uh-huh it's not gonna hit the same yeah i don't think women are betting on sports the same way men are no i think i don't know for sure but that would be my guess that's a safe generalization yeah yeah i think it's just more reason where i'm like i there's just anything can go online anymore i feel like people always known that to be like twitter yeah yeah but not like i don't know yeah i'm curious to see how instagram reacts to like they kept it up they would take it down real quick a lot of things i mean they are quick to take certain things down i think that's also a bigger conversation too about like what's allowed on these platforms because they are privately owned even though we have like yeah it's so this is crazy i mean here's the you showed me that and i'm like yeah i'm not even like actually completely shocked and that's what's the sad thing i know is that like there can be a completely naked woman straddling a basketball hoop for any user on the internet which is like basically every person over the age of 12 younger these days and i'm not even batting an eye exactly because i'm just like that's just the direction it's all moved and that's just tough for everyone i feel like totally well i think something to think about too is like that actually um makes me feel a little bit better about it is how big of a conversation it is that people are like hey this is not good this is crazy and so i think that's like a a good side to it if you think i'm like i'm glad there are this many people in the world that also think this is this is a little much yeah that was the sentiment is that it was too much yeah okay i think that was the sentiment yeah at least that we've seen yeah well i wonder how she shows up to family christmas thank you to policy genius for sponsoring this portion of today's episode we recently had to get our ducks in a row we had to get life insurance we had to get a will and these are very big kind of scary a 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1 million dollars in coverage head to policygenius.com slash abby to compare life insurance quotes from top companies and see how much you could save that's policygenius.com slash abby um okay the next one that's going to be a that was crazy pastor's wife documentary yeah how did you not i i watched it all three episodes last were you really affected by it i was ticked oh i was like super affected by it so ticked i actually cried well yeah i was so evil it was yeah i think just being like in the church too you just see the twist and the abuse and you're just like whoa whoa that's crazy top of the conversation okay first of all let's talk about what it is the pastor's wife on netflix is a documentary it's three years old and it's a documentary about a pastor's wife and it's a three episodes and it's i would say it's really well done documentary about i thought so too um this pastor of a church in florida north carolina north carolina myrtle beach myrtle beach i always think myrtle beach is also florida you're right it feels florida one of the carolinas okay north carolina thank you for that it could be so and he it's a small church but he um you have to watch this i know blake didn't want it we were about to watch it one day wasn't really into the trailer of the movie and he was like i don't know i don't know i don't know it either then we started watching it yeah i feel like you'll be immediately gripped by it and um it's like his relationship with a member of the church who was younger than him and their marriage like it's i mean i would say look at the triggers before you watch it yeah especially like for domestic abuse and sexual abuse sexual abuse and i mean spiritual abuse it's it's really a it's really yeah i would say look into it it can be it deals with really sensitive things very head-on it does uh-huh but the first thought that i had after watching this is like how do they have any more members of this church dude it's nuts isn't that crazy but that just shows like how a bad leader can literally like these people respected him so much that they you just start to like be jaded by and i guess what's the word i'm looking for i mean yeah they're manipulated yeah yeah like you you respect you look at him as a figure that is going to guide you and so then if it's just like gradual that just shows you how far you can get and it's really scary yeah how would you describe it it's fresh on your mind well i feel like a couple things come to mind they showed a lot of his teaching throughout the the documentary and i think a lot of stuff that he says is it's almost right and i remember our pastor in kansas city would always say he says discernment isn't right from wrong discernment is right from almost right and it's so serious when you're looking at a church or whatever you're listening to anything it can even be non-secular or secular but whenever you're listening to something and you're taking it in you have to make sure that what you're listening to is it's not just almost right and a lot of that because that's where the twisting comes and the misinterpretation and manipulation and like abuse can come from um and so i feel like a lot of a lot of the things that he taught that they actually showed i was like that's just not good that's not right at all and i can i could see maybe he seemed like a very um charismatic preacher like he seemed like a nice guy i don't know just i could see how he would be a very attractive pastor from the outside looking in um so yeah i was thinking about i was thinking about that a lot while watching it watching i was also affected like what affected me is that every person that they interviewed they interviewed a lot of people yeah so every person they interviewed was very well spoken and normal i'm gonna say like normal and not like they were just very intelligent seeming and like knew what they were talking about and what they knew they're talking about when it came to their faith and just like the situation yeah and um just like how it could get it could continue like so many people had noticed the abuse and were doing things about it and it still happened yeah it was just literally it was just such a sickening feeling to yeah to be like wow so many people can spot abuse and be do all the right things yeah and it can still end in tragedy and spiral it that may it just makes me sick to watch but then there are so okay there's so many things to talk about but also his preachings he kept saying like i'm never going to talk about anything that i'm not going through my personal life yeah it's weird yeah really weird didn't you think that was odd super odd i was like what do you mean you should be talking about everything in the bible not just things that you're going through i thought that was a really weird thing that he said frequently like they had footage of secondly her journal entries actually broke my heart really sad because you could just tell that she was trying so hard to make it work and she was trying so hard to make it so hard to do everything right and like seek counsel and then like it's so frustrating like yeah she was trying to live out like her calling and just do exactly what she was supposed to do and then it just like this man was just he manipulated her not he was incessant yeah he was a psychopath for sure literally and he's still alive and still married to a different lady which was sick um okay i'm not getting into that but i i was really shocked by the fact that he continued and was allowed to be a leader in this church after cheating on his church wife um and i just think that goes back when like churches in the bible there are really strict rules about how to handle church discipline the qualifications of a leader the qualifications of an elder in the church like they're really strict things and they're there for a reason and a purpose and when they're not followed through it's really sad like how a church crumbles how people's faith crumbles how bad things happen quickly because you are putting someone in a position of power and that person has to be held to a high standard when they're leading a church um and pastoring people that are going through hard things in life and vulnerable and so you have to make sure that person that's leading is a good of good character and yeah just like the fact that he was allowed to lead and like wouldn't you know he's still a pastor of a church yeah of that of that church but now they maybe have like 10 members i think yeah oh they did show that at the end it was a small room yeah i think the whole conversation of spiritual abuse is really sad i felt like two in my head and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry oh if you know the word and you read your bible and you study it then you wouldn't be as prone to manipulation but i really felt like from her journal she understood and like sought to understand and i think that also just goes to show the power of manipulation and like how people that are of sound mind can still be swayed and corrupted i think she had she had like the purest intentions with everything that she was doing yeah and it's just like - He just was a bad leader, so bad. - And so many people that were like, like you gotta go and then of course it's a good thing to want to fight for your marriage yeah but like there there comes there came so many points where it was like this is not you have to leave this is extremely dangerous and safe yeah a small part the part of the cheat on her all the time yes everything like every box was checked you know yes and i understand like she had previously been married and she cheated on her husband with him yes and so i'm sure there was a lot of shame built around that and like wanting to make okay let's make a good thing they touched on that they're like yeah like she wanted to make a good thing out of a bad thing yeah and so i could see that maybe like also being motivation to stay and just do you feel like he did it i was very upset at the end that there wasn't like a strong conclusion i really want him to do it like i was like he better be the murderer because i want this man behind bars just for what he did to her but it doesn't look like it was the case well there's still i mean i think there can still be charges brought on him yeah even if he's not the one who like i don't even like actively pulled the trigger you know what i mean like okay the first here's a great example there's the case of the girlfriend telling her boyfriend to commit suicide yeah that was crazy she did go to jail yes and so i'm saying like there can be implications for him and i think there should be yeah i think there's i mean i don't know how you'd even go and make a case about this lawyers can do it they're way smarter than me they can pull things together i mean they have so many text records and they have so many witnesses of people witnessing his abuse i don't think they can pull anything together for sure and hopefully they do i there was another part of it too like he just kept hospitalizing her when she would have big emotions about things and constantly get her on medication constantly put her on medication constantly send her to the hospital ostracize her from her family and as far as like even her medical care he wasn't including them on it i was thinking about that like what a hard job that must be like working in a mental health facility because in one hand there are a lot of majority of the time i'm sure people are in like an unstable condition that go in there and are seeking help and care but then you do have this area where people are abusive he set her up with the police multiple times and it was like that's abusing resources too like casting he has no boundary right it's like trying to make everything about that person seem uncredible to that no one believes their story and i'm like that would be so hard to sift through as someone as a professional in that career just being like is this legit imagine her too like am i unwell yeah has she been gaslighted to a mental illness like i believe so you know it makes me ill and i think it's a really important conversation to have too especially because it's just like this is just one of those things where on paper they could have looked i mean obviously their beginnings were not ideal but like he could have on paper it could have looked like she was like striving to be the perfect wife and i'm sure a lot of people in that church thought he was the perfect husband and it just kept getting so bad and it's one of those things where it was like the abuse was i mean it feels overt in the documentary sense but i'm sure in her life it felt gradual and like oh just me it makes me so sick and it's just so important to know like these signs especially like for a church but also for a marriage and also just i just think about the aspect of him too like breaking up all of her friendships and like just breaking her down from the inside yeah it's just it's just like it's just it was just and i did have a little empathy for him when they went into his backstory like with his family and like he had he had trauma too but i know i think too this was something that i had i checked myself a lot with when in the past well actually now i'm like okay if this pastor who i deeply respect deeply admire their teaching and the way they leave this church like i oh sorry buddy um if they had a moral failure would my faith be okay and i think that's a really important question that you have to ask because you cannot be putting your pastor on a pedestal and making them god-like and i felt like that was where he kind of was at he felt like if he fell away the church would crumble like or she felt like that about him she thought if i tell people and he gets in trouble that i'm pulling people from god right and it's like well that's actually he's not god that's not his role like he's a person and all people have moral failures at times and so trying to hide those things while they're trying to lead that is that is really scary but i think for all of us if you are in this position it's like hey we always need to be checking and making sure that we're not making our pastor or our spiritual leader our god because that is when also unhealthy things can happen no that's for sure i think a lot of people say that and it's you like forget you forget a lot of the times and stuff i mean i've been through that personally and i was it was a real big check of like oh gotta make sure my pastor is not my god or who i'm idolizing in different ways you're supposed to look to them they're held to a higher standard but they are sinful people too yeah they're they're just like us but held to a higher standard so and you have to check what they teach like oh yeah they're not going to teach everything perfectly i actually think this is kind of interesting conversation i think a lot of people when they talk about the bible a common thought is like oh i don't trust the translations of the bible and i'm like i actually just like a quick google search you can look up that the bible has been trained like it's we have all the original translations of the bible and i'm like i actually have all the original manuscripts but what i think they mean in that argument is that they don't trust the interpretation like a man and people and pastors and priests and people that are teaching the bible have misinterpreted it and i'm like that's true but like that's also why we have the original manuscripts to go back to i don't know that's what we think about too i mean that's just that's the whole process of you know receiving a sermon or listening to something and then doing follow-up afterwards go look up other different things that say the same thing and make sure they all match because you're going to hear a bad teaching in your life it's going to happen and so i feel like backing it up with what you personally believe and find the truth in totally do you know what he preached that really pissed me off oh gosh and i've heard this before if you don't give your husband sex he's going to go find it somewhere else and that is so insane addy it was it was crazy he preached that multiple times all the time i'm actually it's the focus of a sermon it seems i've been told that before by like women that it's like okay like for them to do that at that point like that's what i'm saying i'm like okay but where's the okay even if you are in a marriage where it's like um we're celibate or we're sexless you still made a covenant to that person there are gonna be times in your life yeah where you just can't that you've made a covenant to that person that you are going to be faithful to them that you're going to love them and that goes nowhere in your vows and say if you give me sex i'm going to stay faithful and he kept preaching that and i'm like that is just show me the bible here show me the things that he did he twisted a lot of he was making them be like have relations four five times a day every day if she wouldn't before bed he was flickering the lights so she couldn't sleep yeah having her take testosterone so she couldn't sleep yeah having her take testosterone so she could so abusive i mean it was really crazy it was one of those things where i like matt and i were just like yelling at the tv like it was so i cannot i mean he made this woman's life a living hell literal and and then everyone in her life is also kind of worshiping him in a way you know and then and so she feels like she has to say like she was in an impossible such a bad situation she was in an impossible situation it feels like yeah obviously it wasn't impossible but i mean such a difficult it was i mean she took herself out of it you know it's like yeah it's like it's like yeah it's like oh it's a horrible end but i hope she has peace in heaven you know oh my gosh it was horrible it described a lot of conversations and i know it was really crazy i don't normally like watching um documentaries about like church things because sometimes i'm like i don't want to give views to this sensationalized story but this one i thought was really important and i actually thought it was really good um i want to watch because i do think that is like i don't know i mean i do think the even the documentary took some of like verses out of context stuff made it seem but i feel like it did a good job of making him seem like the problem and not like the bible yeah i agree but yeah it was just i thought it was good and i had a lot of thoughts on it and things that i'm like i want to go i want to teach my daughter certain things you know that things to look out for and things to avoid and because i think especially you know just it's just hard i'm not doing a good job of getting my thoughts out there but i had a lot of thoughts about this one and i'm not like good at verbalizing them i got personal dms of people being like you guys need to talk about this i'm always here this is for the high rocks diarrhea issue why do people want to know our opinions because we like to talk about working out and pooping well okay listen when i pictured this and poop i said that's so casually just moved on yeah um yeah i'm pooping of course when i pictured it i pictured like i'm not even kidding you a turd like in her biker shorts i wasn't i wasn't even better i've never seen it oh oh you want to okay i need to get a tv in here so that i can just like show things on a screen let's just get a projector that's a good let's just get an elmo it i think when i heard oh this girl from iraq hyrax had diarrhea and finished the race i was like oh so maybe like her butt was wet that's what i was picturing that's not at all i haven't seen an uncensored are you serious go to tick tock it was a mud mud mud pit down her legs it was like a river of chocolate up and down her kneecaps it was going into her socks it was flicking everywhere it was it was unbelievable keep describing it to me abigail it was a 12 ounce water bottle filled with river water just flowing out i mean that's a biohazard Like, when people were talking about this, I was like, okay, she pooped. Oh, that is the conversation. That is the conversation. When I first heard it, I was like, okay, she pooped in her pants, move on. Like, who cares if she finished the race? Then I saw it, I was like, wait, that doesn't make any sense. Like, I just felt like looking at it, like, what? Why would no one stop that? You can't even look at that. Because it's on the poopers. It's the poopers' duty to stop it. I don't think so. I think she has someone there, like, counting her reps and her steps. They weren't like, whoa, you should stop. Like, I honestly, in my head, I'm like, she's there to compete. She's there to compete. I personally would have stopped. But she's a different, you know, she's a different, she's winning. So, I don't know. I honestly am like. Let me give you, yes. She won. She won. She got disqualified. But I'm like, how rude. She got disqualified for pooping in her pants. And banned. I'm like, that is not. She did? Yes. I'm like. Has she made a comment? I don't know, this poor girl. She posted, I'm pretty sure she posted afterwards. And it might have been deleted. I think she was, she thought it was funny. She was like, thanks for, like, hanging in there with me. Yeah, she said. Like, not how we wanted it to go. But we did it. First place. But that's like, that, honestly, I'm like, don't blame her for that attitude. Because that's how they treated it. Like, finish up. Wait, she got disqualified. She doesn't get to be first? I don't. Look it up, Addie. I'm pretty sure they afterwards took it. Okay, no, I'm mad for her. I know. I was like, they let her finish. Let her keep her trophy. And don't ban her. Ban her. Make it a rule. I know. She got banned from High Rocks. I think that's crazy. Like, they didn't tell her to stop. It's not her fault. I'm just laughing at my Google, my plot entry. Give me the details about the lady pooping her pants at the High Rocks competition. It's an unbelievable situation. Like, I've never seen poop like that in my life. You're not allowed to poop your pants? Gosh. Yeah, I don't think she should have been disqualified. But she's an Australian fitness competitor and a world record holder. I mean, I respect it. She's not stopping. she's not gonna stop it so that's why i'm like that was on high rocks but did you see the uncensored video of it no i don't want to see that come on you guys it's just poop that's how i feel maybe i'm just dealing with too much poop on my daily bed she won while visibly soiling herself during the rain i mean listen that makes it sound like she's like a turd coming out of her butt it's not solid yes see it's shocking high rocks issued a public apology for how the situation was handled specifically that she was allowed to continue rather than being pulled the organization announced it would introduce new protocols slash rules around hygiene and contamination for future events because i mean you're splashing poop she was it was splashing everywhere everywhere she did post about it on instagram stories stories she shared a photo of herself hooked up to an iv drip with the caption go hard on it or go home a win is a win in all seriousness thank you for the support i'll be back soon see that's what i'm saying she later deleted the post well she that was the sentiment of people around her but they were like hey way to finish you know what i mean i bet no one there was questioning her here's my that's isn't it crazy when you see it it's not just this changed things a bit for me but that's what makes people great is that they don't stop do you know what i mean but you need that makes you the goat you're the greatest of all time under pressure under bad circumstances you don't have to be a goat you don't have to be a goat you don't have to be a goat you don't freaking quit but you personally need to be like i i will be okay if i quit this race because i'm pooping my pants you should be okay to do that and still be disappointed that it happened i agree i'm not saying she should have continued discrimination what if she has ibs well here no no she had she like had something weird probably was from like an extreme just from like overdoing it yeah but like there are ultra runners that go out there and do the same thing you know and they don't stop they are by themselves no i'm not saying i'm not saying the situation's different but i'm saying there are people this is like a thing with these athletes that do extreme marathon runners they don't stop they don't quit i'm not saying that's me i would 100 quit but i don't have that in my brain my brain isn't there so to me i'm like it's hyrock's job to say if you're not gonna stop i'm gonna make you stop don't you think i think i'm so mad that she didn't get first place didn't they take it away did they rescind the award she's still first place in my heart i know i feel bad for her because people are being really mean wait really i respect her that's also sick no she's getting bullied i would say blasted oh and she didn't even post these videos i don't know her win stood she kept the first place result oh she said and reportedly took home about twenty one thousand dollars in prize money okay booyah from the beijing event yeah i'd crap myself for twenty one thousand dollars hyrox apologized for it and said they were gonna announce because originally hyrox was like um no well okay what tiktok conspiracy did i see abigail this is the first time you find out that everything you see on tiktok isn't true i thought they banned her from they didn't disqualify her or strip her title did they ban her um no nothing indicates that hyrox banned or suspended her hyrox was their response they did have an apology about new hygiene and contamination rules for future races themselves like when they're running marathons and that's with other people wait you know what's actually really funny is that they had a hotel and it was like if you have uncontrollable diarrhea don't get in the pool and i was like they and it was um it wasn't like a handwritten little it was a plate that they had a gilded sign it was a nice hotel it was a nice hotel too and i was like you know what this is a great example of a situation where you have to change your policies and i'm not mad at anyone for the situation and i honestly i'm like mad respect to her and um hyrox now has a another tool in their tool belt yeah for their policy for the terms and conditions i love that when you get a new job and they go to the handbook and you're like no one should ever be bullied for pooping their pants that's a rule no i don't think so that's rude why y'all that no one stopped her like that is crazy i can see how that situation happens though because it's like okay this is crazy but you're not saying anything i'm just gonna maybe it's not that crazy like you what do they call that yeah bystander effect effect yeah yeah that is bystander they're gonna start using this in psychology classes do they remember the girl who had lava poop at byrocks i don't know how she feels about this i bet she's mortified you think so hey let's have her on the pod she's actually beautiful she's gorgeous and you know what i honestly think this is really good this is good for everyone to know that everyone poops hey i have an idea for her if she has i always joke i'm like i always have one good idea for like a company or they should put me on the board for my one idea and then fire me she should do something like videos after this and just really lean into it yeah she should come out with oh i got it good wipes she should do a collaboration with good wipes they're doing collabs with everybody she should come out with a hot chocolate next week i was thinking of that yeah yeah yeah and she just needs to ride the wave yeah and she just needs to be known for this for a little bit and build a career and then good in the past good wipes and hot chocolate they should reach out i really hope good wipes i know okay okay instead of dude wipes they should make dudette wipes thank you to wafer for sponsoring this portion of today's episode we recently redid our shed which was so exciting and something that we 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purchase head to wayfair.com or shop the wayfair app for all things home that's w-a-y-f-a-i-r.com wayfair.com wayfair every style every home well today's episode we're talking about in-laws in-laws we're in-laws we are in-laws aren't in-laws i say bonus in-laws bonus in-laws yeah when i was talking to blake about this i was asking him some questions about in-laws and then i was like well i'm abby's sister-in-law he goes well when people say in-laws they're mostly talking about their parents yeah i think that's what people mean but it's like we're this also goes to all this advice and stories goes for sister-in-laws and brother-in-laws yeah i think so cousin-in-laws yeah apply it why not i um i just think it's relevant i feel like we always talk about how we have great relationship with our in-laws we obviously have great relationships and we get excuse me asked a lot about it so let's dive in let's talk about it yeah we had someone call in with a voicemail about this i remember and i was like this is a fun topic especially considering we're all in-laws so totally totally um but i know that there are some crazy stories out there and you guys shared some of your anonymous in-law horror stories we are going to make them anonymous we don't want to wreck your families but thank you for sharing the tea i just read the first one went in my head and my mother-in-law asked me four weeks postpartum if she thinks if she took the proper hormones could she make milk again i i would be fearful like why do you want to nurse my child oh wow that would be so scary you're like i i perhaps so i had a nightmare about that situation happening about someone else nursing me there's no apparent you had a nightmare about it or you're living that no i had a nightmare oh i was like do we need to talk it was just a dream but i'm calling it a nightmare it sounds like a nightmare what's the difference really if it's scary oh my gosh it says our in-law wedding present was a six foot by four foot picture of an elephant we live in a one bedroom apartment and they were incredibly offended we didn't put it up a six foot by four foot picture everyone stay with me do not buy home decor for anybody really but especially as a wedding gift i mean wedding gifts is so hard don't get home decor yeah don't don't gift just do registry gifts yeah unless you really know them and you're like this is sentimental an elephant feels so specific my in-laws literally live in all caps across the lawn from us and f said i always wonder that because well you lived with the same house we lived yeah in the exact under the same roof then we won't bring it up no i just always wonder when people are like do you want to live on a compound and i'm like no and i love my family with you guys i do i i matt sent you those videos of family compounds and he was like let's do it that's true like please no get away from me i like across the street no i'm just kidding that's the same thing on these comps true yeah it's true my mother-in-law gave my nephew his first haircut without my sister-in-law's permission or knowledge oh that's kind of sad that is really sad i don't think it would have been like i wouldn't fume on that one but i would have been like oh that's a little annoying the haircut is well it feels so it's like a big moment you want to be a part of it as the mother yeah you do gave my gave my three-month baby medicine for six plus years without me knowing because quotes he struggles with cramps for six years i'm like so weird about medication and not because i'm crunchy just because i'm weird and i'm like don't be giving anytime anytime caleb was like i'm taking medicine for my migraine i'm like suck it up no you need medicine i'm not a tincture person but i'm like i don't know i'm just like why are you taking something you're weak you know what i mean but then he can't be sick i gotta defend caleb on that that's oh i know i've literally never had a migraine but that's how i act i'm like just drink some water you know which doesn't work like that i know i know people tell me how you drank water when i have a migraine i'm like you're literally wanting to this is just how i was raised like my dad nothing but drink my dad does not take like my dad had um nodes in his throat and the doctor said here's the diet and elevate your bed and here's the medicine it's not going to go away without the medicine my dad refused the medication but did all the other things and cured himself and so it's just anytime my mom'd be like take some believe you'd be like she doesn't need that you know so i've just inherited that okay so with my kids i'm like don't give them medicine without me knowing yeah i'm stuck on the struggles with cramps i know for that i i fall into that category a little bit with my mom i love my mom uh she'll be like yeah brianna's just having tummy issues i'm like i've actually never noticed that ever that she's had tummy issues yeah you're like maybe she did have gas i just wasn't paying attention yeah in my head they're just upset yeah but they're fine just to clarify i do give my children medicine they get tylenol frequently okay you just had to clear the air abby get that off your chest i know it just doesn't make sense like my rules don't make sense with it i mean i think it's good to only take it if you really need it that's right and i'm like we don't need it okay unless i have i do take nyquil anyway it doesn't matter let's go anyway um this one says she calls my baby by the name she likes rather than the one we chose i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know that's a tv show that would be a tv show that's wild it would be really hard not to laugh but then also your kids would probably be so confused that would be funny for one day and then when it would continue you just oh wait a minute you're not stopping then it would send me i think oh my gosh first thanksgiving away from my family and they served panda express that's sad you're like i'm thinking of the feast at home working panda express you know that's hilarious mother-in-law and sister-in-law tried to control how we fed our first baby ruined my breastfeeding experience i don't i need more details i need more details but that sounds sad my father-in-law showed up at her house when me and my husband were in the bedroom lol honest mistake yeah how is he supposed to know how is he supposed to know it'd be weirder if we do calling our son my grandbaby 24 7 never his name gives me the egg my grandbaby i don't know that one doesn't bother me yeah let it go mother-in-law posted engagement on facebook immediately before my own parents knew that actually i okay you just have to tell your family every time don't post about this until we do we have someone that we tell every time yeah we have a couple people i'm like it doesn't don't doesn't get shared sometimes we wait to tell that member of the family just kidding that is one that i'm really could be an honest mistake and they're just because of a generation difference yeah they're excited they don't know the etiquette yeah they didn't have social media or like yeah but you just gotta tell them but i mean before your parents knew but maybe she assumed they knew unsafe assumption but yeah be overt about it they told me i need to drive the car before buying aka sleep with their son before marriage that is the same girl they call it my grandbaby that's crazy they sound like good time good time not gonna take your advice but good time you're a good time mother-in-law what mother-in-law ais herself with my husband as queen and prince no other family members included you should print that for her birthday and frame it and give it to her as a gift you'll be her favorite person that's how you win her favor that's how you wait her over my mother-in-law wanted to know the exact timing of conception of my second child because she was apparently concerned that my husband had been on a business trip around the time i got pregnant we literally concede the day he got home from the trip not her questioning paternity oh shoot that is too far that's too far that is crazy that's crazy no no no no she's like i'm just looking out and you're like whoa she's like i'm doing some math here that's toxic i'm doing some math here mother-in-law cleaned our bedroom without being asked a black lace thong and lube were left untouched on the floor from the night before we have kids so she knows we've done it dot dot dot but it still felt mortifying that she saw those items that would be mortifying yeah it's i feel like my sentiment around it is that i'm not like obviously it happens but you guys all have to pretend it doesn't happen don't ever talk about it we're not allowed to talk about it and you're not allowed to know i'm allowed to talk about on the internet but not to you not to you everyone else in the world can know and listen i know they watch this and every time i talk about something i think about it i'm like they're gonna know they're gonna know they're gonna know dang it haunts me mother-in-law uninvited me to vacay in front of everyone we've been engaged for four years almost uninvited me to vacay in front of everyone oh does that mean something happened that she just didn't sometimes these boxes need more contacts i know but that is that is that is petty oh my god no there's no way that had to happen my mother-in-law had to pull a tampon out of me because it got stuck on the way to see her wedding venue oh my gosh this one of those things you're like there has to be a way to pull a tampon out of me because it got stuck oh my gosh this one of those things you're like there has to be a way to pull a tampon out of me because it got stuck on the way to see her wedding venue oh my gosh this one of those things you're like there has to be a way to pull a tampon out of me we agree that is horror i forgot that my mom is your mother-in-law yeah blake said on the phone today he goes and then my parent like abby's parents are your in-laws i'm like your parents are my why did you do that abby's parents my sister is my sister's parents are your in-laws your parents your parents are my in-laws oh my god okay this one says talk to me for an hour about an outfit i wore for a night out my husband picked it out oh my gosh that one would i feel like i just can't relate to a lot of these my in-law included bed bugs with my baby shower gift oh that seems like a mistake unfortunate like not intentionally that is a horror story i don't know if that's surely that wasn't intentional that would be that would be criminal i think that would be criminal well those are crazy yeah thank you for sharing i love when you guys share your stories they're relatable everyone has stories and i feel like i've in the past i think majority of my friends have a lot of issues with their in-laws and i feel very grateful that that's not our case that we have really like great relationships um and so yeah we wanted to kind of talk about maybe just three tips that we've had to foster healthy relationships with their in-laws because yeah i feel like we have been really successful and not it's not just because of things that we've done i feel like it's been a collective thing that we've all done as a group and as a family um and i feel like that on both sides like not just with kilb's family i feel like that's my family too and my in-laws on that side so what's your first tip it's a delicate balance and i feel like yeah there's things that are just like that there's ways to navigate it that are like that's that's right and that's wrong so my first tip was um build a positive foundation so i think a lot of times with in-laws you if you get off on the wrong foot i feel like a lot of times the people i know that have really bad relationships with their in-laws it started from the very beginning and so when i say build a positive foundation i would say i'm talking about a more practical thing to do that is like to take interest in their lives and i feel like that's a great way to especially approach mother and father-in-law like as like a respectful like way like ask them about like what it was like with them growing up ask them what it was like raising your husband and then um even like asking them for advice too i think that's a sign of respect is like okay like what what did this look like when you guys were married or like growing up like how did you you guys didn't have social media like right what was that like and i think that just like this goes for any type of relationship but just like taking interest in their lives probably does a really good thing to like start the communication but then also just a sign of respect like that you're like interested in them and building a good relationship that starts off light and positive yeah so then when things do get more like obviously life will throw curveballs at you you have that foundation of like a relationship you don't even have to take the advice i think sometimes people just don't have the foundation of like a relationship just automatically throw that out it's like well i don't trust what they have to say i don't like what they have to say that doesn't really matter the point of that sure like you will probably gain some nuggets of wisdom but i think the biggest point of asking is just to honor them yeah and make them feel good like your whole goal of a relationship i think in that sense when it is like you're all everyone's goal should be like keeping the peace and so it's like you just want to do things that are going to encourage one another and build one each other up because it is a delicate relationship and so you don't want to it's just like what are the things that you're going to do what are the things that you're going to do that are simple and like asking them questions and taking interest in their life is very simple and even if you don't like what they have to say just be like wow thanks for sharing no i think that's a really good point to make i'm glad you said that because i yeah people just throw the baby out the bathwater you know you're like yeah i don't trust them it's like well yeah it's fine that really wasn't the point yeah you can still make conversation yeah um my number one i feel like this is super obvious we talk about all the time um but you're you are communicating bad news to your family and your husband is communicating bad news to their family and that is the rule and if and it's not if i'm communicating it's like oh yeah caleb doesn't really want to do that i'm not saying that it's we don't want to do that i'm never putting my caleb or my husband in a light that could make my family frustrated with him or annoyed or whatever or whatever it may be like we are a unit and a team and we're united in that but i'm going to relay the news and vice versa he never says anything like oh abby didn't like this or that like it's like hey we would just appreciate if you did it this way and it's always a we that's a really good point never single out because then your family will always forgive you they're never good they're not going to forgive the other it's gonna be harder you know yeah and so you're always going to be the one to do the bad news and you're always a unit that's such a good point i love how you also point out the we part because like you're not gonna throw him out of the bus yeah i think people do that oh yeah totally like wait that's crazy it just singles you out like that just pitted you against them they're starting a war you're starting a war you don't even know it um that's kind of similar to the one that i said but i said like tougher conversations and like boundary setting you're speaking to your parents so like if it's with your in-laws like you and your husband can talk to it it's like hey this is something that i've noticed or it's like even if it's like okay this is a boundary you went with all the grandparents all the in-laws it's like okay i'll go talk to my people you go talk to your people and then we'll say this is what our family has decided but yeah for boundary setting you don't need to be the one doing that yeah i actually know too a fam uh i know probably both have done this where like with the wife there were issues with her family and it became to a point where like her husband had to step in he's like hey i'm gonna leave this conversation because with you they it's easy to like bulldoze or like feelings are more hurt so i'm gonna be there and i'm gonna lead the conversation but you have to be there with me like it's never just one-on-one so i think there are really appropriate ways to do that and i think that's when you know it's okay but it always needs to be like you have to be present and like okay with the every i don't know do you know what i'm saying that's yeah that's probably true we've never i've never had that experience but i i can imagine that's a last resort thing yeah last resort yeah it seems kind of silly but i said you need to include them like og family i was thinking more so with brother-in-laws and sister-in-laws i always appreciate that my sisters go above and beyond to make caleb feel like a brother like they buy him gifts they text him on his birthday they go but like always including him if it's if we're going out to dinner or doing something it's just assumed that caleb is the unit and he's coming along like he's a part of the family and he's treated like a part of the family and vice versa i feel like the howards have done that really well with us like we are treated like sisters and daughters um and i understand if maybe like they're obviously there's always personality differences but that's a side like that's always how you're treated and i think that knowing that's like the culture is really sweet because i think it could be very easy for you to be like oh that's my sister's husband you know that's he does his own thing over there or that's her job to handle him or deal with him but how isolating you know and i'm sure there are like reasons that lead to that but to go above and beyond to make that person feel like they're not my sister's husband they're my brother and yeah i love my brother a lot my sister's husband like close with them and i think it's just always been kind of the you know yeah that's really sweet i do know some families where it's like oh well we're gonna just invite you on the trip like sometimes i don't invite like spouses i know and that that's what made me think about this when you told me that one time i was like that's never yeah that's weird we don't do that like a core family trip yeah like we're going back to the like the core original five you're like wait what no actually when i was engaged my mom like last minute planned a one more family vacation just the four of us because she knew then at that point yeah which is like some people could probably make the argument it's like well no have them come at that point i i was also really young so i'm like yeah this felt really appropriate at the time right and and i respect i like like that too because then i knew that things were going to change once you got married and it was going to be viewed totally differently and i yeah i was going to view it differently and obviously it felt really reassuring to know that my family was going to view it differently too same yeah even though i was really young totally yeah okay this third one i literally do not know how to put into words you've debriefed off camera but basically it boils down to just being really like delicate about how you speak to other family members within the family about other family members within the family because i think that can really tear down a family really fast you're in close quarters you're very personally there it's so complicated family relationships in the sense of like oh like i have allegiance to the sister-in-law but i also like have allegiance to my husband and my mom like it can get so messy and so just being very careful with your tongue and how you speak about other people to other people it's uniquely important within a family dynamic i think i i can't i can pick what you're saying because yeah it's not like i'm not going to talk to caleb about his mom because that's his mom yeah like i'm not going to speak poorly about his mom this is just an example but like and he's not going to do that to me either because that's my mom like yeah he loves her and so we there's a way that you can share maybe things that there are really ways that you can share things that are really aren't putting that person in negative light i think it's always trying to give that person the benefit of the doubt always respecting that relationship as family yes when you're speaking about something yes and not yeah and being careful as to not speak in a way that would harm that relationship between that person and the family member is that what you're talking about yes yeah just being really careful with how because obviously there are things uniquely within families where it's like oh we can relate because we're experiencing the same thing but yeah you just you don't want to like run your mouth and be talking negative about your family and gossiping it's so much more sensitive when it's like okay that's my parents that's my brother yeah that's and i think you have to be really careful about how you speak right you always want to put your in-laws brother brother-in-law sister-in-laws mother-in-laws father-in-laws in a light of like oh you want to honor them and how you're speaking yeah and ultimately to just be a peacemaker because that's the that's the furthest thing from like finding peace and within a family unit is that type of talk you don't want to be the sister-in-law that comes in and is like a disruptive to the family yeah you know i mean obviously there's like bad things going on but you know what i'm saying it's like you hear those stories all the time where oh yeah hers their daughter-in-law so you know this or that their son-in-law is like really and it just kind of hurts the family it hurts the family yeah totally that person you want to come in and be an addition to the family and mesh it together not mess it together not tear it apart totally um okay my last one i actually asked caleb's opinion teresa had a great one too that um we can share but i asked caleb said what is your advice for having healthy intermodal relationships and he said always remembering that me and you are number one like we are the unit and that is that is the boundary like if we don't prioritize each other uh to our in-laws to his parents to my parents then that's when feelings can get hurt and expectations can get hurt and so it's just remembering that like hey now we are the number we are the number one family to us we are the new core for us and overflowing from that is good and i think there are a lot of people that can take that maybe not the best way but if you always remember that you come back to that and you're not you don't abuse that um i think it can help and it helps have healthy expectations and boundaries just from the jump i think your family is very good at that but that just made me think of like my parents specifically my both my parents are really good about that about like blake and i are a unit any questions or anything it's always yeah well how do you how do you feel like did you talk to blake like making sure everyone's aligned on it which is really yes that is really good yeah it's like it's me and caleb we're together and even i think around holidays when a lot of things come out i think both of our families have done such a good job of being really respectful of that like okay how does your family want to do it and we'll like be flexible around you and i just appreciate that so much because i know that's a time where people get really um sensitive about it but it's just like yeah we're we are now a family you know we're not just now all under your umbrella so i don't know that's just a thought that's a good one okay we are gonna share some of our more unpopular opinions in the safety of patreon um about navigating in-law relationships and things like that so we're gonna continue this conversation over on patreon because i don't even know what this episode's at right now thank you to upwork for sponsoring this portion of today's episode my husband runs a business i in the past ran a business and something that is so tempting is to want to do everything yourself but once you can learn to delegate it can be a lot of fun and it can be a lot of fun and it can be a lot of fun dramatically changes your life it dramatically changes the performance of your business and that is where upwork comes in upwork lets you build a team of highly skilled specialists for every function your business needs so you can focus on what you do best and let the experts handle the rest upwork gives your business fast access to highly skilled specialists with deep expertise so you can fill critical skill gaps launch projects faster and scale support up or down without committing to full-time headcount i think that's something that is really nice is that you can hire people for one-off jobs and then if you're not a full-time headcount you can hire it's not a permanent decision which is really nice you can browse profiles review past work and get help scoping the role so you can hire with confidence and get started quickly with business plus you can access the top one percent of talent on upwork ai powered shortlisting delivers a curated shortlist of top freelancers matched to your goals in under six hours no endless searching required visit upwork.com right now and post your job for free that is upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow that's upwork.com upwork.com okay voicemail ask ask ask abby hi abby's and addy i've been listening to always here on my runs and it's been so fun feels like i'm running with my besties and don't even have to waste my breath talking back but my question is in regards to nutrition how do you focus on nutrition as a mom i feel like i'm in survival mode with food and snacking and overeating please every day is so different like some days i'm really good about three meals a day snacks honestly it depends on the grocery shopping the beginning of the week i'm stellar at the end of the week i'm just living off of beef sticks you know what i mean so i don't know i just feel like it fluctuates and i honestly to be honest i haven't figured it out fully but i know the days that i prioritize protein and eating three meals i feel the best so i just always try to do that i think it helps with what you shop for like you shop for healthy things so it's like you don't have those things to like snack on or eat like for me if i'm gonna have a snack i really want it to be filling and so i just have easy accessible things that are filling like those like protein balls i love the g2g bars yogurt beef sticks cheese and then i have been recently liking like chickpeas like those like little snacks um because it's easy to eat a lot of things that if they're not like actually satisfying you it's easy to eat a lot like frequently but if i'm like i'm gonna eat a lot of things i'm gonna eat a lot of things i'm gonna eat a lot of things i'm not gonna get i'm not gonna eat crazy if it's beef sticks and greek yogurt you know what i mean and so yeah it is really hard but just focus on like satiating that for me i focus on like satiating myself but i'm also someone with a big appetite so for people that like i have friends they're like i really just don't get that hungry i'm like what is that like what do you do i feel like you don't get that hungry when i'm pregnant when you're pregnant i'm a snacker all the way through i'm bad on nutrition i just like to find and again i've said this before i like calorie counting it's the best way for me but um finding easy swaps that i still like and like i love a sweet treat after literally every single meal yeah and so i have these like 100 calorie graham cracker packets that i really like that i just buy those and then i don't have the candy or the like other things at my house and it's i'm still so excited to have that as a treat later so i just find alternatives that i really like that aren't just like you know like i don't have the candy or the like other things at my house and i'm like oh you can have a grape for dessert i'm like no i'm gonna eat a bunch of grapes and then i'm gonna go go get ice cream because i had nothing to do to do my snacks so i just say find the thing that works for you try to eat meals i feel like that really helped me for me because i don't i'm not like a prepper or a meal planner or anything but i know the hardest i know mornings and breakfast and dinner are the easiest meals for me to cook lunch is really like who knows what's going on so i'm like okay if i'm i can control a really solid breakfast and a really solid dinner then lunch can be a miscellaneous whatever and i just think finding ways that you can what you can control like okay for breakfast i know i can have a single like a greek yogurt some hard-boiled eggs like i don't want to cook necessarily but i can plan things i don't know just like what that's a really good point and what they shape me in the moment as a mom like i just don't want to decide on breakfast i eat the same breakfast every day yeah and it doesn't bother me and then it's like i always know that i'm getting a healthy breakfast in or some i use healthy loosely i know i'm getting like a good amount of protein into my breakfast and then i've already planned all my dinners so then i think taking the decision out of your snacks and your meals will make things a lot easier for you as a mom if you have to think or make another decision in your day oh no no i know it's too much you're already making so many decisions out of your um i buy like this dance club box of 100 fruit snacks not a lot of fruit snacks i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know for cj because i eat those suckers after like every um i'm like yeah breakfast no i bought those that's crazy that's been me since riel's birthday party i got a the big thing of fruit snacks and now i've been eating fruit snacks all the time i haven't had fruit snacks in years i love them they're a great sweet treat they are my go-to now i make breakfast at 10 a.m and then i have a fruit snacks afterwards i like so annoying about i'm like cj you can have one a day and i'm like no i give them more than that but what time do you when do you give your kid fruit snacks because i'm like brielle she can't chew those i don't give them to her oh don't give her yeah i don't think it was like after 18 months i'm like when she gets molars or something yeah you're gonna get some molars i didn't start giving him until the other kids were eating them i was like they could i was like i got fruit snacks for all the other kids that are here i'm like packing snacks until the other kids were getting snacks and then cj was like mooching i was like oh you want snacks okay this is either a hack or a we have zero storage in our tiny little apartment i have a box under her bed that like it sticks out because it doesn't fit all the way in there it has like little packets in it and it has pirates booty bags in it so when she's hungry she'll just bring me one that's so cute okay you're hungry it's so nice there you go so like here's your or i'm like no we can't have another pirates booty today but at least thank you for telling me you're hungry and i trained her to bring me my purse if she wants milk okay i don't perfect she saw me one time put her put the milk in my purse when we were going somewhere she just brings it to us it's cute hi abby abby and addy i'm a big fan of the podcast my name is julia i am a new grad labor and delivery nurse and so from your experiences i was wondering what are some things that your lnd nurses did that you loved thank you bye bye oh what a sweet question i have one if you're a triage nurse in the lnd department and the woman that's having contractions seems like she's in a lot of pain and you check her and she's only a three say she's a four and get her checked in thank you addy like light of the darkness i told my lady i said if i'm not a four i i'm gonna cry and she goes close enough oh that's sweet so who knows who knows who's gonna cry and she goes close enough oh that's sweet so who knows who's gonna what i was actually at but that just made me think of that that's really funny i love a really confident nurse i love that mine that this was just acts so this isn't good advice for you because if you're a new grad you might be younger but i love that mine were older i felt really safe yeah they know they know i was like you've seen some things yeah and actually she had she chose his career path later in life so she actually wasn't anything yeah but i just felt really like she was very confident yeah she was very confident confidence is a big deal because we have no idea what's happening so yeah it's a very you can feel out of control really easily yeah especially when they're like coming so fast what i really like that my labor and delivery nurse did is that she gave me like this is probably only really relevant i guess if you're not gonna if you're waiting to get an epidural but she gave me markers like she was like you're gonna come at this like in in 30 minutes you're gonna come back and i'm gonna check you and then in 45 minutes like this is what's gonna happen she was very explicit about like how time because i feel like that's the thing about that's the thing that i was most anxious about and i wasn't even necessarily anxious about but it like felt like really uncertain it's like how long is this going to take you don't know how long it's going to take and i feel like that's the thing about pain and labor is like you can handle pain but pain over an extended period of time that's what's really overwhelming break it up so she broke she made markers for me like not that it was like relieving my pain when i but it just made it feel really manageable i was like i just have to get 30 more minutes to get to the point where i can get 40 more minutes through this i have to get 40 more minutes through this and she was also really encouraging she was like you're doing amazing and i was like i don't feel like i am but like thank you she was really encouraging and it's like because i my husband was saying that but i was like you don't know you have no baseline for this yeah but someone that sees this every day like that really felt really good that she was like really encouraging totally i feel like that's probably the biggest thing and both my nurses have been so amazing at this is just speaking encouragement because yeah it's such a great thing to be able to be able to be able to be able to be a vulnerable unknown like kind of scary out of control feeling at times but if you are confident and you're giving me compliments i love you i had a really bad nurse i had a really bad nurse that was the opposite of that and she was a hater that really brings your situation down a ton i'm kind of i i am going back and forth on this because my i felt like my nurse didn't really like tell me anything when she would like switch me positions because baby's heart rate was dropping a little bit or like they preferred me being different ways because of the heart rate dropping and we were blake was just saw that and was like assuming that's why she was moving me versus the nurse never said anything and so i was never worried about it which is probably good but blake was probably sitting there questioning what was happening and like honestly i'm not opposed to you telling my husband what's going on and i don't know like i'm not opposed to that either but i don't know yeah i'm curious about that because there are a lot of things that happen that i didn't know until i was talking to my sister who's in the medical field and she was like yeah that was like really bad this was really scary and they didn't tell me that in the moment and i'm like and i understand why they don't tell you things in the moment because people panic but i think afterwards i would have liked the debrief of like what i went through yeah because i had no idea i'm like i don't know what happened to me yeah my dad told me afterwards she was like i put medicine in your butt yeah i was like i kind of wish i had a debrief on things like what just happened she was like you were hemorrhaging so i put medicine in your butt i was like in my butt a lot of that that was really crazy that you just told me that in hindsight but thank you for doing that after the fact yeah honestly that's i'm gonna ask my doctor that this time after labor when he's like about to any questions before i leave i'm like can you just give me a debrief like did anything weird like yeah if something weird happens again this time yeah like obviously if it's perfectly fine i feel like i'm gonna get that debrief at the six week though i didn't want to know that day of oh i'm like i'm gonna have some questions for you next maybe that's true again i want to know oh i'm your doctor oh yeah the doctor yeah i mean there are just so many things like i was shocked by what she remembered from appointment to appointment well they look at your chart probably every time because i was shocked too she was like no no abby i she literally remembered because one day all the charts were down at the office and that was a problem they were like do you want to reschedule i was like i'm already here i want to do this now she remembered what i was dilated to the week before i was like you've seen so many people she remember what i the position that's amazing of course i remember that's all i'm thinking about the last time i saw you but when i was trying to figure out if i was gonna have a v-back with vivian i kept asking the doctor i was like you probably i kept saying i was like you probably don't remember and she was like no i remember and i was like because you're at my chart or because it was so bad that you remember i wasn't so traumatic for you too nothing because you're at my job they're just really good at their job i was like what's the answer i mean i know there are gonna be days that are are they're gonna go home and they'd be like they suck too like when there's no sad days or hard days okay last one real quick hi my name is lindsey i live in um alberta canada i was just wondering this is kind of a hot button topic these days but i was wondering what your guys's opinion is on ai and i'm kind of where it's headed thank you bye you know what's actually interesting these data centers there a lot of them are getting not are not being allowed to be put in in these cities and i think sometimes i'm like oh we as the people don't have a say but they kind of have a say and if these data centers don't get put in it will affect the future of ai um and i was just kind of like that's kind of interesting because i do think gen z is a little bit more vocal about about their being against it oh like the sentiment is pretty negative around ai which i don't disagree with i also don't fully agree with i'm kind of just like neutral about it i don't really care i don't use water i think it's to cool the machines i was talking about that they have to keep all those all those machines cool okay but do they recycle the water that they use i don't know i don't know anything about that but i think it's interesting to see that we as people actually do have a say in like um what's the big open ai or one of them just had a huge crash in the stock market right am i correct about this and so i just okay the i don't think investors are maybe as they're kind of regs a little bit on ai which i think is interesting so i don't know i'm not getting into tizzy about it i used to google things because i was like i don't want to do this but then gemini is the first thing that pops up so that's when i kind of was like i don't like when ai is used for creative things it really bothers me or moral things that's where there's like i'm like you can use ai for information okay i'm still don't really understand where it's coming from i guess it's just aggregating a bunch of different scraping everything that's kind of confusing for i'll use it for information i use it to get like recipes but i don't want to use it for i don't like it when it's used for creativity purposes and i don't like it when it's used for like making like moral ethical decisions i think that's creepy super why would you give a give technology that power right that's that's messed up but i also don't like it when i'm scrolling through pinterest and i see ai images and i'm like this is supposed to be creative like this was like yeah for sure yeah i agree i fully agree um i agree with all your things from a work standpoint i've we've i've really leaned into um how i've heard ai won't take your job someone who knows how to use it will and i think that's really protective and like not like knowing how to use it is important but um i think there are jobs that will take because a lot of i mean matt redesigned our website with ai and so there are things that it can do which is really cool and can make like even just with biswell beauty for example like having a system that replies to a lot of our inquiries and changes people's shipping addresses addresses for them amazing like yeah but like i want the content for the brand to be made by people exactly i want the photos to be taken by people i don't like it when there's like all these generated generated online content and photos and like i want a photographer yep to take the picture of the real mascara bottle and it's weird that that seems like a lot to ask nowadays yeah like that's crazy yeah that's weird yeah i like the future of it every technology is going to take jobs every new advancement takes jobs and obviously that's like sad and scary but usually with that is a formation of new jobs i do think ai is a little interesting that it takes a lot of the menial tasks so people that don't know how to use it they don't know how to use it they don't know how to use it they don't really have skills or it will really hurt them so i think that's a really interesting thing i'm i mean do we need to get into like what's it called when everyone there's like a base pay rate that the internet or the government pays ubi universal base income like that's a crazy thought you know i don't know just some of that stuff is like pretty interesting those are not rabbit holes that i dwell too much on because but i think we can't worry about we can't work some people are really worried about ai i mean i genuinely sometimes am worried about it like but it's outside like what does it mean as the individual that's what i think is kind of cool about gen d being like hey we're not going to put data centers in and like we're gonna pump the brakes on this as people i'm like wow that's pretty cool i feel like it kind of goes into it's a generational thing too but like um for example my mom has never had her face id on her phone on her iphone for a really long time recently she just like enabled it she goes at this point they have my face that's how i feel about cookies on every website i'm like take my cookies yeah take my cookies i don't even know what they are make me cookies actually i feel like the more things are just gonna just learn how to use it to your ability and know where you're stopping there's a time and a place yeah totally okay recipes i have such a good recipe i made one last night i have never made new recipes um it's a dessert it is a it was fall i filmed a fall video yesterday and i was like this is gonna be amazing pumpkin pie crisp pumpkin pie crisp pumpkin pie crisp cinnamon streusel it's basically like pumpkin pie pumpkin pie on the bottom and then cinnamon streusel on top it's not groundbreaking it was so easy to make you just put mix all the liquid together pour it in your pan and then the streusel on top oh my gosh it's so good i love that you just made this on a weeknight well i know i was filming like a fall youtube video and so one of my objectives i do i get in modes i don't really bake outside of the fall i love fall baking uh you're making some blueberry crumbles and you're right i do like summer baking and i actually do like some springtime baking too i so forget everything i just said but this i like a pumpkin pie but it's kind of boring to me this takes the good parts of the pumpkin pie and then enhances it with should i make a pumpkin pie with a pumpkin i kind of want to do that i've wanted to do that but it feels unnecessary like the pie wouldn't taste better but at trader joe's they have pumpkin pie pumpkins i mean who cares if it doesn't taste better it's fun right is it gonna be worth it i mean i don't think i don't think in any world it would taste better okay i don't think it'll be like worth it yeah i don't know it might be yes i think that's the point yeah i don't think the point is for it to taste better i kind of do want to do it i've never eaten a pumpkin pie because i say i don't like pumpkin but i like pumpkin muffins i like these things so i'd be curious to try a pumpkin but addy you're saying you say you don't like pumpkin pie but you haven't had it yeah that's a rule in our household i should have brought you a slice of this pumpkin pie crisps with cinnamon streusel because it is unbelievable i'm sure i'll tap i'll try one this i'm gonna force feed it to you no no i'll try it that's crazy i'm at the point that i'm willing to try because i like pumpkin bread i like pumpkin muffins i like pumpkin cookies yeah you're allowed to not like it addy i think pumpkin pie you have to try it i will try it that's how i just take one bite i will take one bite the time that we did that to my kitchen that was a crazy day you don't ever have to eat that again i made i made a zucchini and he literally threw it up on the plate and i said i remember there was one time at the old house there was one piece of chicken one of your kids had to eat one piece of chicken that's a memorable time it was one bite the whole family was there these kids will break you um the one about a chicken roll every person went to the table separately we're like okay i know this becomes a power struggle i can't lose it was a power struggle i'm not gonna lose so we're sitting here we are sitting here um my recipe is i had it for lunch today i've been having it for lunch a lot of days because lunches are really hard this salad i had it at nine o'clock at neater's which where is neater's even located it's in arizona and utah is it anywhere else neater's bakery you've seen it into the k oh yeah a little bread basket logo yep i do know can eaters can eaters does that ring a bell um i have their large chicken large berry chicken salad you can literally make it at home and it's so easy and so i started making it get spring mix i air fry my i get the chicken breast tenders just because it's easier to cook you're probably paying a little extra but then i was like i'm actually eating chicken breast tenders air fry it um candied pecans are key here that is what will make this worth it for you um blueberries raspberries strawberries sliced red onion feta and then the red rat red raspberry walnut vinaigrette it is such a good salad yeah i look forward to eating it it's delicious it's really quick just the amount of time you throw the salad together your chicken will be ready and it will make it so good it takes me 15 minutes max and it's so good there's some pepitas in there some pumpkin seeds from your pumpkin pie pumpkin in addition to my candied pecans why not crazy they actually do croutons at neater's too but it doesn't really feel like it needs it for me yeah i love um it's a really good salad good yummy i'm gonna have to say i i asked chat gbt how i could recreate the can eaters large berry chicken salad that's a good use of ai i think thank you yeah i think it is i i knew that a human could do it yeah i knew in my head i could get there right i doubled a recipe with ai i just or i just threw it in there you doubled it well just because you know the measuring i love that i'm like what's i don't know what one cup and one third is times two yeah you could just put another one cup and one third in yeah yeah but i wanted the full i feel like doubling isn't hard for people when i triple something i'm like all pets are off these measurements are off i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm like oh my god i'm are crazy when i'm thirding things i need help yeah yeah yeah or thirding or x 130 i've never done that actually i'm always doing weird math when i'm hurting a recipe like one third or if you're like it's more like multiplying it by a third stop i don't know what you're talking about okay you guys if you want to call and leave a voicemail the number is 602 i'm cooking for a lot of people sometimes i don't know what that means i'm 30 why is that why not just like double i'm not thirding it sorry one and a fifth again 602-456-9690 602-456-9690 i'll tell you off camera i'm dead you guys we've we are not getting enough time together i think that's why thank you guys for listening to the podcast sorry i'm literally public apology if you were at this point gosh i'm sorry i'll be better next week well i'll take some brain fog things maybe we need to start listening to that and do more episodes this week yeah maybe they'll just be all this long matt really wants us to have more than one episode okay it's so long we're like we have one that's just life updates and wow that's crazy we cannot put that on this episode let's just throw it out there i do a lot what do you guys think two episodes yeah what do you guys think i'm also curious what's everyone's favorite segment yeah comment your favorite segment additional segment ideas that'd be fun yeah we love that okay if you guys speaking of leaving comments if you want to leave us a review love that on any of the podcast platforms that you're listening on hayley nf said my fave podcast five stars my favorite podcast the one that i never miss or skip an episode and i look forward to every week it's so relatable and it makes me laugh out loud breath of fresh air keep doing what y'all are doing hayley thank you that feels so good to hear it really does um if you guys want to join our patreon we're going to talk about our book club in depth is it this episode it'll either be this episode or next that's crazy this episode but it could be this one or next i think a lot needs to be edited out of this episode i know probably i'm so sorry randy um anyway we have a book club that we do every month and we talk about it on the episode but we do a full in-depth book club and you guys get to join too on patreon we also do more recipes we do um extended segments every episode it's ad free so go check us out on patreon it is five dollars a month and it's a fun community it is so fun i love it over there so thank you guys for watching and remember we're always here