If The Fungus Fits

Hey guys, welcome back to Broken Connor make a podcast. We're so stoked to have you here. You guys know we love to keep it light around here. This is a fun place, a safe place, but I want to start out this episode by saying how deeply dessert Broken I are by what happened over the weekend in Minneapolis. No government should be killing its own people. And now more than ever, so important to watch over each other, watch over our neighbors. And because of this, rather than fill this ad spot with a read from a paying sponsor, we're donating a spot to small businesses and mutual aid efforts in Minneapolis that benefit immigrants, protesters and activists. And today we're spotlighting the Immigrant Rapid Response Fund, which is organized by the Women's Foundation of Minnesota and the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota. The Women's Foundation of Minnesota invests an innovative community-based community-led solutions to ensure safety, opportunity and pathways to economic security for women, girls, gender expansive people and families across Minnesota. Right now they're urgently looking for donations for their Immigrant Rapid Response Fund to provide fast, flexible resources to trusted organizations supporting immigrant communities facing crisis. Please join us in donating by visiting their website in the description below. The Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota is a nonprofit organization that provides free immigration legal representation to low-income immigrants and refugees in Minnesota and North Dakota. They also work to educate the community about immigration matters and advocate for public policies, which respect the universal human rights of immigrants. Every dollar donated goes to supporting their mission of providing the highest quality legal and educational services to help low-income immigrants. You can donate by visiting their website www.ilcm.org/donate. This link can also be found in the description of this episode below. You can also donate through other mediums, which you can find by clicking on Ways to Give on their website. If you want to help, please visit the website in our description. Hey Brooke. Hey. Honor. How are you? Hello. Hang in there. How are you? I know. I would say the same. What a week. Yeah. I feel like every now, like this comment is going to be like when I always say like it's weirdly like colder in the shade than it is in the sun. Yeah. But like, how is this still Jan? You already know offense. Oh, okay. Yeah. No, that's true as well. What were you thinking? I was going to. Just like heaviness. Yeah. heaviness in the air. Everything that's going on. And just want to share quickly, you know, Dutch, who I love on TikTok and that's just the one that said, you don't have to. What did he say? Actually, I'm really bad at quoting. If you can't do it with the smiling, yeah, if you can't do it with the smiling, do it with the frown. And then he made this video about ice. And I think like all of us are probably feeling like very like helpless and obviously completely forget what the guy said. I love him so much in this video, genuinely helped me, but he said something along the lines of like, you do not have to do everything. You just have to do something. But much better said than that. So go watch Dutch's video because I think he has anxiety and everything like that. And I think he just knows exactly how to speak to a mind that is feeling very overwhelmed. And so whatever he said, I'll have to go watch it again as everything with me is in one ear out one other, but it's it help. You don't have to do everything. Just do something. Yeah. Hopefully we're doing a little something talking about it today and you know, be sure to look at all those resources and donate if you can to everything, but you know, just do something if you can. Yeah. Yeah. Well said. I didn't say anything. But thank you. Well repeated. Appreciate it. Barely repeated it. Yeah. So obviously like going to it's going to be like a weird episode, but we just will transition as best we can into into something that hopefully people enjoy and it's maybe a nice break. Yes. Right. Let's give it a go. I'm on my PJs. I will say. Oh, and I'm in conference room B as well. You're in a hotel. I'm in a hotel. Lock going. A lot of moving parts happening right now. I do think that this is the first time we've ever. I think since like we did like trial runs of recording a podcast that we're both like on our laptops on zoom. Well, speak for yourself. I'm on my eye. Mac. Oh, you have a desktop. I have a desktop. A lady. A conference for B. Wow. I think we tried. We did this like maybe when you moved to New York. Right. Or maybe not. Who knows? I can't remember. Or no, maybe when you started tour. I don't know. Um. Yeah. So they're not ideal. But we'll make the best of it. Yeah. But the bad it is always two rays of light. Such hot. You're I don't know which cat of yours behind you is going nuts, butts to the. That's probably he's having a headache on your new rug. Hi, think about oh, yeah, you see him. I can barely just kind of like the tips of his. Come here. Come here. They're not. I just got home. Yeah, they're always a little weird to me when I just come home after leaving. Yeah. Well, you have new bangs too. He just got it. He just found a sail. Oh, good for him. He's in a box. He's in a box now. He'll be fine. Um, can you hear him? No. Is he making noise? Yes. Quite a bit. Quite a bit. Good for him. Yeah, good for him. He found an empty box and. He filled it up with voice. Yes. Um. To the brim. Yeah. So I was traveling. And as you all know, we were prepared for some disruptions. And, you know, man, oh man, did, did we get some and, hey, I was prepared. I thought you handled it really well. I will say that is you know, we're texting on the side instead of do you. That's sweet. To plan this out. That's very, honestly, very considerate of you. I'm sure you could tell I, I was trying to communicate, but I was going down. It was like, I was going down. It was like we, we, we, we, we can sense that a lot like, you know, like, geese can sense earthquakes. Like I could send we were both sitting there like, gobble, gobble, like it's about to go down. Well, I guess they don't gobble, geese don't gobble. They make a lot of noise on SNL. Thank you for understanding my, my, I appreciate that. I was, I was going down, but all things considered. I did handle it better than I expected. Yeah, you really, that you should kiss your brain. I'm not, I'm actually, I think I'm handling it worse than you because I read your arrival flight as 540 Pacific time. And so I wasn't, you know, it's eight, it's, I don't know what time it is. It's 7 p.m. Here. Oh, jeez, jeez, does this feel like a good time or no? Yeah, it feels awesome. I just like was it. So like when you landed, I was like a pardon. I thought you got your flight completely cancelled. No, no, I also, Connor, I want to be honest and is he did catch me in this? I did lie. Oh, that, I mean, I did, I did, I did get it a bit earlier than I said I was going to. It worked out. And I did not think I was going to be able to come right off the plane into the podcast. And so I took a nap. And so I, but I've scheduled that nap into, into my lie and I want to apologize. It's perfectly fine. This will be, this will be awesome. I'm glad that you got your nap in. Thank you. I knew the truth was going to come out, but anyway, I got in the 6 a.m. And then I got here at like 1231, went down for an hour, met you. Well, what's funny is I'm in Miami right now. I was working on a fun project with one of my favorite people on the planet. I'm so jealous of the connection you have with one of your favorite people on the planet. It's really, it's really something special, um, they're one of my favorite people on the planet too. Yeah. This is kind of like a fun, fun thing that we're doing right now, um, but I'm in Miami. So like I, there's worse places to be in a hotel room, recording the podcast. Oh, absolutely. And tomorrow I wake up bright and early and I go to, so when you, when everyone's hearing this video, I'm either going to be in North Carolina or no, I'll actually be in North Carolina. And there either will or will have not been two shows that have happened because word on the street is that everyone is snowed in. But for somehow, somehow the venue, not so dead and still taking guests are you what are you flying because if it's American, I'm sure they'll get canceled. Um, I, I usually kind of only fly Delta these days. Good. And I do like, I always am like, y'all don't need to be doing that when influencers or celebrities, like, shame airlines on their stories because it's like, yeah, like we all airlines suck. Like we get it. Like, I will say American, like you need a lot of health. You need like a significant amount of health. Yesterday, I was at the airport for 10 hours. They come. I have to lay my flight in 20 minute increments because there was no pilot and no crew. And it's like, you know you're not getting a pilot and a crew, let me go. But they don't want to cancel the flight because then they have to pay for everyone's accommodations. So they just kept delaying in 20 minute increments for 10 hours, hoping that we would all cancel, which I did after eight. But then I still lingered a little bit and I was there for a few more. But they waited for everyone to cancel, the majority of people to cancel on their own before they canceled it themselves. - I just like-- - I'll need so much help. - If my 18 pilot doesn't show up, like I don't want them to call in the B team. Like I don't want them to call up the bench pilots, you know? - Yeah. - It's like why wasn't, this pilot already at work. Why wasn't she already flying a plane? - I think just 'cause there was so much going on, there were so many delays. They were like, we can't locate them. I was like, what do you mean you can't locate them? - They're missing you. - I get there being delays and like this pilot being on this flight. But like, shouldn't that be in your system? - I don't know. - It's like a fun to everyone that's on this flight, whoever finds the pilot first, it's like Sardines. - Finding the offie come in. - What? - That's on Passover. You hide the offie come in, which is the fancy word for Mata. And then all the kids have to go find the offie come in. - You're hiding Mata like around your home? - Yes, it's like hide and seek. - No, you hide it. I feel like one of the best places my dad hit it when I was young was behind a painting. - So if you put dough, like soft dough behind a painting. - No, it's like a cracker. - Mata? - Yeah. - But Mata ball soup is soft dough? - Yeah. Mata balls are different than Mata. They're both made with Mata meal. You know Mata is that flat like cracker. - No, that's his news to me. I only knew it in ball form. - No, you know Mata, the thing that people eat on Passover. - I don't. - It's a big square, looks like SpongeBob. - I don't know what you're talking about. - Hold on. - I love that you're giving me benefit of the doubt, but I think that you should give me punishment of the doubt here. I don't know what it is. - I would be really shocked. - I've never seen that man. I'm sorry to this man. I've never seen Mata in my life. Dr. Mata. - That's crazy. - No. - Oh, well, that's what people eat on Passover because I think it's when the Jews were running or escaping rather Egypt. They were being chased and they didn't have time to let their bread rise. So they just had to take it and run with it as a flat. - This isn't the Bible too. - Yeah. - I remember this, but I didn't know that that's what they were marching on. - Yeah, so you do that for eight days, over Passover, and then you hide it. This is the satire holiday. You ever been to a satire? - You're gonna hate this. - No worries. - No, I haven't been to one in years. - The only thing I know satire from is the office when they rebranded. - Saber, thank you. - Sabers? - Saber. - With a B. - Yeah. - All right. - It's all right, yeah. I wasn't like the biggest fan of the office. - No, just sort of like when it, unfortunately, what's his name, the Gabe? - What's his like real name if Elijah Wood? Wow, I'm really messing up. - No, I think it's that Lewis. - It's Zach. - Is it? No, it's Gabe Lewis. Zach Woods. - Zach Woods, thank you. I see I got Elijah and I got Argot Wood. - What's his piercing eyes? - He is one of the funniest people. He's like one of my best follows on Instagram. - He follows you? - No, no, no, I follow him. He's one of my favorite people I follow on Instagram. - Oh, I love that. - He is so funny, like genuinely that part on the office like didn't do him any credit. Like he is so funny. He needs his own show. - Okay, I love that. I've seen him on a few like late night shows and he's very funny. He's really funny and he's like constantly doing a bit which you know I love. - Yeah. - Anyone that's content makes Salter. - Yeah, I was about to say he's very makes Salter coded. - Yeah, Zach Woods. I'm trying to think of other people that like have their just ongoing. - Ethan Fielder. - I don't know if Nathan Fielder is the type of person where I'm like, I don't know if I even want to, I don't know. - He's a spectrum. Sometimes he's so on like Nathan and then sometimes you see cracks of like, maybe this is who you are. Even someone, like I'm just gonna use me as an example 'cause I don't know if you feel the same way but like he's someone that like I think, like when he breaks character, I'm like, thank God. Like you were scaring me. - Nate. - Nate. - I mean, you know, I love the guy. - I know. Did I get a little bit of sun today? - Yeah, it looks so good. - And I am a nice ice sat outside and stared into the sun for like 10 minutes. - Oh, that sounds so nice. I'm very pale. - Yeah. - Should we recap, do you want to talk a little bit about our Disney on Ice video? - Yes. Oh my gosh. So we also, we had a YouTube video come out last week. This week that is Monday. I can't remember what day it is anyway. - This week. - We had a video come out on Monday. We did Disney on Ice. If you haven't watched it, it's up on our YouTube. That was so amazing. That genuinely, I left like, I left the venue feeling like I needed to go to a neurologist because I was so unable to follow the dancing instructions that I actually started like really thinking there was something wrong with my brain to body connection. - I thought you were, I mean, I guess I was, that was the time when I'm really, really kind of, just just thinking about myself in that video. - Yeah, now the video did me like justice. I was like, how did I ever follow like choreography when I was younger? Like I could not do it. And it didn't even have anything to do with the ice. That was, I was horrible at that separately, but I was really bad on land. Like just like following the steps of our routine, which concerned me deeply. - Well, it does, we're all professional dancers. There was, I missed them too. They were fabulous. - The young man in the videos, the fun, like he's so fun, he has a, he's had a lasting impression in the back of my brain. - I loved him and everyone was commenting like, how is Brooke not talking about heated rivalry? I was, but it was Disney, so I couldn't really talk about it. - Yeah. - So, but just now I was thinking about it the whole time. - Was that during heated rivalry? - It was at the very beginning. I think I, there had only been two episodes out or something, that I remember feeling like this is so shane and ilia, but like I didn't even know the guys yet. - I can't even take care of the Olympic torch this week. - They are the sun and the moon. - That's a good way to put it. - Yeah, I mean, our planet, we are dependent on them. - Right now, specifically, yeah, I can't believe they just are in like to be a young, to be a young man and have just gotten your break out role and then like two weeks after the finale airs, you're in Milan carrying an Olympic torch. I hope he's journaling. - They were, I just like can't stress this enough. They were both prepared to go back to being waiters. - Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. To have had a dream, and then for it to be fulfilled and then some in like one month, it's like. I don't think, I think I would probably fall off the deep end. - Sometimes I think about like what if my present-day self was handed my phone, but it's my phone from a year from now. So my Instagram is stuff that I've done in the past year. And so like, what if I like get my phone and I look 50 million followers and I'm like, what the hell happened? And like I just have to live life like knowing I'm gonna get to that amount of followers, but like what the hell happened, you know? Well, I guess I could look at the pictures and see what happened, but just like, no, you know what I'm, is that I'm making any sense? This is just a thought that I have to do. But I'm thinking, imagine those boys a year ago, you give them their present-day phones and it's like here's your phones, you have millions of followers and like you are Golden Globes, Olympic Torch. Like they would be like, who's in services? Maybe it's yours, you know what I'm saying? - Yeah, that's a fun way to put, I mean, you could do that from like a from last year. You could be like, oh my god, look at all these things. - Sure, if that's another way to think about it, like giving your year ago self your present-day phone. - Yes. - Thanks. - Look at when, sorry to change the subject, because I know that we just went, we've been having such fabulous conversations. But this is how I figure out when summer is close or when summer's upon us. When I turn like this and the light catches my forehead in such a way, you can see a perfect penis and balls shape. - Oh yeah. - So I directly up on my forehead. I've never seen anyone else with this kind of marking. - I do know that one. - Yeah, that's how I know summer's here. Right now, the AC is broken in my hotel room, so. - Is it hot there? - It's hot there. Oh god, it's so hot. - Some of it's genuine. I know. Summers approaching in my room on floor five, which is I have a piece of balls on my head. He had a rivalry really quick. Yeah, take it back. I don't know if I've spoken about them in the main. I know I did in bonus and on the special episode of Obsessed, but empty netters, the straight guy in the podcast, something bad happened. I think I was on a flight or something and you and Izzy had sent the update and I didn't. I was really tuned into them anyways, but I was sensing that something had gone awry. Basically, I've almost just like myself included very much. So it was like obsessed with them because they were just like two like bro hockey bros who just like loved heated rivalry and Dan's texts leaked one of the guys. Somebody leaked his text. He was texting someone. These are random. No, podgusters like he was texting a friend. He was texting somebody he thought was his friend. And apparently this guy also has a podcast where they were talking about heated rivalry. And Dan was like, dude, like this show is like embarrassing like pandering to blue hair Twitter. Oh, wow. It was tough. And then he came out and was like, yes, these texts are real, but like here's the context. Like I had only watched one episode of the show. Like I didn't like the show yet really. Like you guys know that I was open about that. And then like we had a change of heart. We ended up falling in love with the show, blah, which I totally get. The blue hair Twitter and other stuff was tough. But like also it's really hard. I'm not defending anything even though like I I'm not. But it is hard when you like think you're having a private conversation with the friend. Like I know like with my, if my texts were leaked, it wouldn't look good. Like I definitely have been like the woke left. Yeah. But it's different that blue hair Twitter seems a little bit more severe to me. But and also has like a straight guy. But and he did like he made a statement like contextualizing the text, but he never like apologize for that language, which people are upset about and I get that and that's tough. And it's all just tough because like everyone loved them so much and it was such such a good thing, you know. And now it's tainted. Yeah. But people feel differently about some people are like, I forgive them completely, like context was key there. And some people are like, I can't get over blue hair Twitter. And then you can't get over then you move forward. I don't know. I'm so I don't know what to do with myself. They really meant a lot to me. It's really upsetting. I don't. I was I know I didn't know the guys. I know. I'm just I'm just explaining what happened. I know it's hard for me to be like. I knew them. I knew I thought I knew. At least I thought I knew them. I don't know if I still do. I don't know. Let me know how you all feel in the comments. Oh, would you have rather loved and lost or never loved at all? I think we've talked about this. Never loved it all. Really? 100%. What if you died right after? Like if I lost in the diet, I only suffered for a day of losing. Yeah. How long did I love? I don't know. We'll see. So like say you loved for say you loved for 10 years. And then it's like you've lost 20 minutes goes by. That is that is a door knob. Then that's fine. And it's also fine if I've loved like my whole life. And then I get old and someone dies like that's fine. But I don't want to I would find like merit to the love of my life for two years. And then he dies. I would have rather never had him. And now we were talking about a podcast though that you that we knew that for like two weeks. Well, you took it in a different direction. No, that's loved and lost loved a podcast and then lost the podcast. It was more it was more than a podcast. It was a it was a symbol of an evolving culture. That's actually true. And and having like a sensitivity to straight man that you know, I thought didn't exist. And now I'm not I'm back to not knowing if it does. Thanks. I do believe that they came to really love the show. I think I do believe. Yeah, I do believe that. I'm open to I'm open to seeing where where everything goes. I would say they're not dead to me by any means. It's just yeah. Watch the space. Watch the space. But that was a blow to my to my guts. Were you listening like on a weekly basis? How much were you listening? No, I mean, I'm just looking to clips. I just watched all their heated rivalry episodes and their clips. But I don't watch like their podcasts when it's not about heated rivalry. Okay, but I do follow them. Yeah. So I just feel like they're my family. Where? I don't know. I don't know. Watch your space. We'll see what Thanksgiving is. I don't know. Also, speaking of leaked texts. Have you been seeing Blake Liveley's text with different celebrities leaking? Doesn't matter. That's not the point. We're still doing that whole Blake Liveley thing. How can we make sure our texts don't leak? I don't understand. How did Taylor Swift text get leaked? How can we ensure that that just doesn't happen? Well, can I just be like conspiracy years for like the next 10 minutes? Yeah. Maybe 40. Taylor Swift's texts aren't projected. There's anything in them in anything at all. Almost said in America. In general, is how is anything like that? I want to believe Taylor Swift or anything that happens to or around Taylor Swift is done with intention and strategically. Wait, I don't know if it was her. Did anything Taylor? No, her text. Yeah. No, I know Blake's to Taylor got leaked. But Taylor's saying anything get leaked. Yeah, Taylor said Justin Belldowny's a bitch. Oh, did she? Yeah. I was like, I didn't know that I can't picture Taylor Swift calling up calling a dude a bitch. I'm like, that's cool. But, um, you have to if consent for the text to be leaked? No, they were subpoenaed. My God. Well said. I don't know what subpoena means. I don't either. I mean, I, how do you spell that? C U B P. No, no, no, no, no, not even remember. I think it's subpoena. Subway here. I see. Okay, subpoena. Wait, I want to hear how it's spelled because I want to see if I was close. S U B P. The way I was exactly right, right? It's such as an S. You said C. Well, I'm in S. And I think I was wrong because I don't think this is what it is. I can't, I don't know. I honestly don't know. A subpoena or witness summons is a written issue by a government agency most often a court to compel testimony. And can we talk to, talk to me for a second? Go like, how does Google not know who's Googleing this? Um, I mean, it's just like a written thing to attend court. I think it's like a summons. So I don't think that you could do a subpoena for text, but it could be used as like evident. Like, I think that you might have to submit it for evidence if you're making a claim about somebody. So it doesn't count as like libel or defamation. Like if you're saying someone has defamated my name and I'm losing work because of this, then you have to prove. Hmm, I don't know. I don't know. Regardless, I think anything involving Taylor Swift's name would have to be approved by tree. Right. I don't think that, yeah, I think that there had to be her consent there. I do. But that means that could be wrong. Can, can, can, can, uh, you tell me, tell me the rest of what you think about this before I move forward or something else? I just like, I literally, I don't care. Like, I'm so over this. It just, I'm just being selfish thinking about my texts. Oh, like, I just want to ensure that they don't get leaked. Because I like, I mean, I have, I'm lucky that I'm not like a bad person. So like, I, there's nothing like horrible, but it's like definitely like, uh, like, I've been mean about people that I, I don't think anyone, really mean anyone hacking into your phone to see like, who you've been talking you shit about. I think they might. No, there's 40 wait 400. What was the lawsuit 400 million dollars at stake for this for shit talking each other and then put like sexual like, this is like serious, serious, serious stuff. We're like, that stuff needed to be released. I think for this thing. Okay. But then you also have empty netters. Who's or who are also like a friend. So I just seem like that is my worst nightmare. Yeah. I mean, just, I guess I've, I think the, yeah, that would be crazy. If someone, that's just like an end of a friendship type situation. If someone were to like screenshot, your close friends, sorry, or something, which like, I know people do. That happens. That's happened to friends before. And it's like, there is stuff that I would say to front. Of course, there is stuff that I would say to friends that I would never say into a microphone. I'm sure that, and that is the case with everyone. And it's just, it just sucks when that happens, which is why I do feel like it, like, it just, it just blows chunks. Yeah. Chunks, cute, inverted dog. Now, tree, are you tree? Is that her name? Tree tree is like, like, tree pain. Or something tree paint like is that was that like a joke because of tea pan like when tea pan came out She like I want to be like Tree pan. So like adjacent and all things so because she probably they I bet Taylor so calls her tea pan. I don't think so I bet if there's one thing I know about Taylor. She loves the nickname, but I Was walking by a car the other day and I saw one like This is so relevant to us to The gorgeous name for a little girl. So let me find it. I watched my license plate the other day. It said smutney. I Said that is a gorgeous name for a little girl who loves to well, I don't want to say a little girl who loves to read But it's a girl that's a girl. That's a gorgeous name for a mama bear that loves to read porn. Wow Muttney. I'm sure it was a spot NY like smutney work. No, because I was in California I saw smutney smutney. I think that that's like a horny woman who's just like obsessed with smut Yeah, I like that or man. Sorry. Absolutely But smutney I should have met like several men recently named Courtney. There you have it. I promise Courtney's a gorgeous name for a man that studies law. I Have never met a male Courtney You need to you need to you need to Go out to Place when I used to go on hinge I Would like judge like harshly based on people's names and That would be one that like I don't care like how compatible we might be. I don't think I'd swipe on it I wouldn't swipe right on Courtney regardless of our compatibility But that's the difference between meeting someone online and in person like if I met someone named Courtney and Person and fell in love with the guy. Then like that's fine, but I don't think I would give him a chance on On hinge really? Yeah Okay, so that's another reason why online dating is bad like you are just a lot harsher Because yeah, because I'm not giving Courtney's a chance on there Well, you also need to see if someone like how they use their hands when they talk. Oh, it's all about in-person energy Fairamones like the way they move. I mean, I know it works for some people, but I'm there. I'm in my aunt. I Means are wearing my hair hair winds my fair amounts a little bit more because my life is really different when I was wearing those Fairamones on a daily basis Your spray my spray What did you notice was different? People were always so nice to me That's so interesting not that anyone's like mean to me that Often, but like people I think that maybe I was coming off as Like more of an more of an entity to people. They wanted to let me cut it in line. Yeah And they gave me the nice silverware I need to get new silverware for my house. I was in LA last week because I hosted a award show. Did you see that? Yeah, I did tell us about it. It was my first. I didn't see anything about the award show Did you post anything? Yeah, I didn't know you didn't Oh, no, I didn't because I just got the photos back over the weekend. Okay. Yeah, so I didn't see Amazing photo myself but Part of me my my nose is back, but uh oh So I hosted this word show It was my first time hosting an award show. It was for assistance It was like for charity for like assistance in the industry and entertainment industry and I worked with like a writer like how they do for shows who wish with Nikki Glazer. It was like the coolest Thing it was for assistance versus agents. If anyone's curious to check it out It was so much fun and I ever said I did a really good job. Good job Thanks. It was a fun change of pace where it was like let me like memorize something else and mostly someone else had written And went out there and presented awards now something bad happened in the middle of the show There was a segment that I didn't I had skim I had missed in the script So there was about eight minutes nine minutes that like they had thrown up a PowerPoint It was like an award segment and it was my first time seeing this segment and I'm looking back and I had to just improv and make up what I assume was happening on It was like it was like um in practical jokers when they're like you have to go in there and do a presentation on this PowerPoint You've never seen it before you have to like sell it to this group of your peers. You know what I'm talking about? And I was up there and I was like oh my and the awards were like kind of a seizures Like they did some serious awards for people that like impactful voices in your community. You know like Best assistant of the year award voted by like their boss is this one was like best overpriced salad in in LA like best And luckily brook I recognize a picture of one of the salads as Jones on third Chinese chicken salad the Chinese chicken salad. I'm gonna get that for dinner. Oh you should I wish I was there with you so I could have it with you but I Was just those of you that don't know Jones Chinese chicken salad. It is like chicken fingers almost and these crunchy wantons that just Crunch and melt in your mouth the and the dressing John make it's just You've never had anything like it. Sorry continue smack your ass like a drum That's what it does recognize it and then it ended up winning. So you understand this goes like Absolutely it did and I was like thank god but other salads were nominated Brook. I didn't recognize him. There's one called bad ass salads that I hadn't I didn't know I know there's one from air one, but I didn't Get it um, I didn't know one. Yeah, I think so the famous one Anyways, that was that and then like the rest were like you know worst texts to receive from your boss and it's like Call me dot dot and like is today my wife's birthday question mark like get me a reservation at Max and Helen's and one was just question mark and I was like what are you but the thing is I didn't know how many awards were up So I kept being like and you guys think there's another award after this What do we think and I'm like looking at the guy like running the show and like I don't know like I and like oh There is look at that and then I had to guess again, but it was like eight minutes of this Improv thing and then I got off and I was completely soaked So it feels very like Joey Tribionny coded it was I mean it was hilarious. I was getting text I wasn't sure but I was getting text like this is so I was maggy was there Savior was there like my team was there. They were like they were so much fun So it worked out it worked out really well. I would I want to do more stuff like that. I think that was a good Next golden globes Yeah, um What I was gonna say is that on the way there I learned that That day Microsoft had gone down so outlook which is like what everybody uses for their email had fully gone down and no one they didn't They didn't get any up no one got any updates. They just like assumed But like everyone in entertainment like everyone that uses outlook as like their server it went out And so I went out there and I was like what's up with this energy like I didn't get a single email today And that like got him on my talk now it's on the serious side And this is the conspiracy there is carried over from Taylor Swift's text being released Um Microsoft went down. I don't know if it was in the whole United States or just California or what Microsoft went down right Yeah, like a week ago Verizon went out in New York City like down to Florida. Oh Verizon needs to Join hands with American and go seek extreme support and a facility um So that's ever happened as far as I know like mass communications going out like Hey, what's going on, you know, oh you're being a conspiracy theorist Yeah, I mean like not like necessary conspiracy theorists. I'm just kind of just like Know that get your shit together. No, like that is not it is frightening. Either you get to be this super power like this Verizon or this Microsoft or step aside and let someone else, you know, like break it back into the chance Gifts get oh sprint Sprints like give continental airlines get them back in the game. They never delayed, you know Yeah, I Literally like when Verizon is down like and I have to go somewhere. It's like I have to print out my app quest Wait, give me mint mobile You know, give him, I don't even want to say that about are you Ryan Reynolds because he just bugs me but I'm like, yeah, yeah, I got my next morning. It's a minimal I think we've done answer them Oh good, well then this worked out pretty well Yeah Yeah, well one time when I left my phone in an Uber I did have to bring my laptop to find this person's home And then I got there. I was like how do I contact him like I don't have why found my laptop. I'm yeah Do you remember this was I yeah I really should have taken someone with me. Yeah, I was really scared. I really remember that I went to this like really I just had never been to this area of California before and it was like was not a good idea to go with no Yeah communication services available to me. It's scary It's scary people did it for so long You catch me on a horse. I hope the horse knows where we're going. I don't I just missed my exit via hoof Yeah, I don't I mean it is like the fact that it was We were alive in the time of map quests I couldn't I can't follow written directions. Let me Get that. out of the way. I would never get anywhere. I remember when I have to be looking at the road too. I would I would crash and everyone if I'm looking down at the map quest. When we got when my one my family got a Tom Tom. What's that? It was like a garment other garment. Yeah. That was like the coolest thing that had to happen our family in a long time. Yeah. No, that those were amazing. You know, it's suctioned onto the. What's that? It sucked right onto the dash. Yeah. We don't we don't have luxuries like that anymore. Things that suck right onto our dash. I learned CPR on my Garmin, Tom Tom. Really? It taught you CPR. I didn't know they did they did that. They were touch screen and they taught you CPR. Wow. We don't we don't have a device in the world. I guess my iPhone could look at phone like beyond. I won't. No. I won't do that. I won't do the refresher for. It is crazy that we don't all know how to do CPR. I brought this up the other day. Do you know how to do the Heimlich? No. That Heimlich's pretty easy. That's an easy one to learn. You can do that tonight if you wanted to. Tom Blithe recently needed the Heimlich. And once you be bummed if Tom Blithe was choking and you didn't know the Heimlich, you could go right up in that. I know. Thankfully his waiter knew it. He was on a date with his girlfriend. Pete Davidson out of baby. Yeah. Are you just blatantly watching TV? I can't find the remote. So yeah, there's TV playing. It's on mute, of course, but like all I'm getting is the highlights from entertainment tonight. Obviously Mario Lopez is up on the screen. Oh, and now Sidney Sweeney. What did Sidney what did Sidney? Why is it saying could Sidney face legal charges? He has a like lingerie line and she threw bras and shit on the Hollywood sign to promote it. But like obviously you like can't go to the Hollywood sign. It's trespassing. So where is her team? I don't know. I don't know if she has one. She must have one or she might have one that's like has a really different strategy than most. What are you doing? Like she might have one that's like negative. Let's just do all negative press. Oh, I didn't mean to do that while we were talking about Sidney Sweeney. That was genuinely like. Hop your boobs. Yeah, like that was something that I was going to do anyways. And we were just talking about Sidney Sweeney. Did you see the house made? No, I still haven't seen it. I haven't. I really haven't. I haven't done that much since I saw you last. Like I really wish that I had something to like I saw you last week. Yeah. And then I just got back to New York and I kind of just was it was the snowstorm which like everyone keeps saying snowstorm. I think like Nashville got it from what I'm seeing. Like Nashville looks like apocalyptic. I hope everyone's okay in Nashville. Oh, Philly was insane. Was it? Oh, yeah. Oh my god. I'm glad because like obviously like four of my flights were canceled. And I would have been so pissed if they were just canceled like for Flurries. But no, like they were they needed to be canceled. So in New York, it was snowing. But like people are like skiing and sledding. Like it was like a like a I don't I guess I don't know what constantly I'm new to whether that's like that like cold cold weather. New York's also being plowed nonstop and they're equipped Nashville. I don't even they probably don't even have any sort of like salt. No, but they're they're trees and like their power lines were just exploding. Oh really? They're not equipped. But like trees? I don't know. Tree shouldn't explode. I don't know. I saw that on Reese Witherspoon's story. Is that what you're referencing? I mean, yeah, there's just like a couple things trees shouldn't do. I think one is explode. And see tree explode. They're exploded. The trees are exploding. What do you mean exploding? I don't know how to say it like any any any other way they're explode they're exploding. Can you describe? Yeah, they're basically blowing up in like the most literals way. So have you seen think of like a bomb. Okay, imagine if you bombed it or you had to put a bomb at a tree like that's what they're exploding in that way. Now it doesn't make any sense. It's like final destination. Five is like if if I was walking by a tree and it exploded, you truly would have to say it was his time. Did you see that bug? Did it explode? No, just it drove right by me just then. That is a fly motor transportation is its wings. What kind of fly was it? What kind of flies? No, it was very little. What kind of fly? I don't know. It was very it was not like the one. It was not like that fan. Do you have a fruit flying in your office? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I mean, it was I don't know what it was. Listen, I don't I didn't look close to it. It's just something flew by my face. Maybe look into it. You maybe at one point it was a bookworm and now it's a fly. I didn't have an end to that one. Something happened something happened to me. Okay. I guess it's kind of gross. It's like definitely very medical. Okay. I keep getting UTIs for whatever reason. And I took I was my friend was like you need to take. I don't even I don't remember what it's called, but it's just like something you take when you feel like you might be getting UTI. I like kind of like a supplement. And I took it. It's a cranberry. No, no, no, it's it was something I got on gopuff. It was like the concept of gopuffing UTI medication. The manos or monos or whatever, but like in it like not that, like I just like in a pill. Okay. Yeah, but like gopuff that, woke up the next morning, forgot I had taken that. My pee was feeling so hurting. And I pee. I look down at the toilet. I can't even like like like like brown like almost like blood, but like orange. So immediately fainted because I thought I was like I and I had to go on a plane. I was like I'm literally like bleeding out like my kidneys are bleeding out. I'm dying. It turns out the pill makes your pee different color. Yeah, they should put that on the box. I mean, I went to the ER when I was doing beet juice every day because it's supposed to like whiteen the whites of your eyes. And put it on the box. First day, feed blood. I go to the ER. They go, there's we're not showing any times, like we'll do a pee test. They go, this is beet juice. So you can go home. I go, oh my god, I had so much today. They go, okay, that's just because that you're peeing it out. Like what is there? That it was literally like I like put it on the box. I'm begging you to put it on the box. He might have heard orange red brown. Put it on the box. Anyway, I think they're. I think I need to get antibiotics at the SAG after office. And that's very I love that felt very Los Angeles. Is there an urgent care at the SAG after office? It was like this boutique like med spa. Like I had to lie went on like you know good Rx. Yeah. I like last minute was like please like can someone give me antibiotics? And they they set you up with the cheapest place for your insurance. And it was just this like office built. It was an office within the SAG after office. And I was like this is not normal. Thank you though. But I got antibiotics. That's really fabulous. Isn't it? Yeah, kind of like getting getting your UTI treated where like the actors get old. Like that's so cool. Like that is just like very like not a lot of people can say that that's where they get their UTI. No, like Rachel sent it is about to call your phone while you're on the podcast. That's a very I love L.A. I know. Yeah, that would happen to Rachel sent it. Yeah, I know. 100%. So I guess that's really all I wanted to say about my brown pee. I will I'll I want to jump into because I have a doctor's appointment coming up next weekend. It is a blood. It's a blood test. It's a blood work test. It's my time like it's like covered by insurance because it's time. It's the time of the it's I like it's due. You know, my blood is due. And so if anything's wrong with me, I'm just warning everybody like I like if they if finally, they're like, Oh, we were noticing something. I'm not going to we're going to take some time because I'm going to need to like get well. I'm serious. Like I'm not going to be able to record a podcast if I'm like, I know my time is up. I'm going to have to go hiking. You're not your time is not up. If if they get back to me and they said like you have an overactive XYZ or you have your low in this or this, I'm doing it pretty love. What if you're like low in iron? I'm doing it. I'm going to India instead of taking an iron supplement and then I'm going to go to I'm gonna go to the other places that you wish you and it and what London or something yeah I'm gonna go east Whatever if it's closer west. I'll go west, but I'm gonna go there and I'm gonna go on it But I'm probably gonna kayak. I don't know like I'm gonna do I Got to need to find myself and maybe and This is gonna be that time like it's gonna be it's gonna be like manic I'm out of here. I'm going off the grid except I'm gonna bring my phone. I'm gonna be on Instagram a lot posting I'm going completely off the grid. I will be on my phone. I'm gonna be posting I'm going off the grid. I will be vlogging. I will be posting stories and then if it requires grid Like it will be on grid and I'm gonna be responding indicated. I'll be off the grid I will be syndicating I'm gonna be putting I'm gonna be commenting probably I'm gonna be if if your story's great I will respond to your story too, but I will not be on the grid So don't even try unless you unless you need to reach out. I'll be there, but Make it I got it. I don't know. Yeah, you got to put yourself first Put yourself first phone second Yourself third broke if you need to check how your bangs look you can look right into my forehead It's really not that bad. I need no talks. If you need to see Anything that's gonna happen in your future. You can ask the magic eight ball that's located right above my eyes Or my eyebrows. I'm gonna get Botox and I want lip filler to to fill in the wrinkles in my lips I went to the front desk of my my gate for my flight and they go. It's delayed and hour I go oh my gosh nice. I'll go get a beer and I'll go get a Heineken zero zero and they go beer. Yeah Nice and I go what was what was that they go? You're not 21 that's I'm so jealous. I've stopped getting carted. I go how old you think I am they go 19 maybe 20 That's awesome. Do you know how long that is? As I'm as it like it as it's weird because like if someone was like your uncle your chopped in your uncle I'd be like no, I'm not But when someone's like you're not old enough to have a beer. I'm like I am okay. I am old. I'm a big boy Like it's like so weird like it's like yeah, it's like grass is always greener That he said I I've seen some pictures of myself recently there. I haven't I have a new thing that I'm that's making me self-conscious What I don't want to tell anyone because every time I do people love the chime in I think I In certain angles I have this jowl that like looks kind of like what like a hound would have and like like a cartoon hound This part So your cheeks no, it's a deer it's like it almost feels like somebody's trying to bust through my cheeks Like I think those are like smile lines. No, and it's not nice. I'm not kidding like it's when I'm off duty And I'm kind of looking one way or the other and then I get these like round part of my cheeks They're like an like an addition to my like a pregnant cheek like my cheek is pregnant I've never seen that Also you also need a picture do you want to see it now now also a picture? I want to start getting work done. I'm serious Wait, you said lips and Lip I need my forehead. I definitely at least want to lip flip so that my lip doesn't stop getting really tiny My top lip doesn't start to suck my I want my top lip to stop disappearing when I smile But also maybe I need filler because Channing and cat have it and they look very great in natural And I want the wrinkles in my lips to close also when I smile I get this weird like thing in the corner of my nose Like kind of like a ball and I don't want that so I'm going to I don't know what they can do for that whether it's surgery or a needle I'm good with either Eaging is a blessing is always I think I'm worried about it's I've always had wrinkly lips And I've always had wrinkles on my forehead But I'm going to let the rest of my face age naturally. Do you walk around barefoot and hotel rooms? Yeah I don't bring slippers with me And I'm not usually staying places fancy enough to give me slippers I wear socks basically, but I go barefoot Oh, I forgot about socks Everyone was like you're walking around barefoot in your hotel room and I'm like I weirdly like yeah But I didn't think about it too much now. I'm the really grossed out that I Ever did that. Oh, I never have thought twice about that. I feel like it's definitely like Yeah, you go into a carpeted hotel room. That's just like You may be alone, but you are sharing a room with athletes foot right now I Was in Philly over the weekend and I stayed at a hotel for the first night. I was I was doing I was shooting something there so um Yeah, I got a hotel for the first night and the walls were so paper thin That the people next to me were making love yeah and I could like hear like Individual kisses Does that make sense? Yeah, and so for that reason I had to save my brothers You didn't just ask them to switch your room I'm assuming all the walls were that thin because I also could hear everyone in the hallway all night Yeah, but not everyone's banging Yeah, but everyone's gonna be in the hallway That's some point like no one should be in the hallway Oh, I mean it and it was Philly If yeah, there's probably people in the hallway a lot um now those people love hallways One thing I feel like we they love hallways yeah Philly is the city of always um Oh my gosh, what was it gonna say? hallways no cows One thing this podcast we're taught we're covering hallways we're covering the ground Oh, I was um I was thinking about athletes foot and I love how that they call it that even though like If someone threw a Frisbee at me it would hit my neck what is athletes foot It's like fungus we have to do with anything well like because I don't think I'm very athletic But like I could get athletes foot pretty easily because I'm always barefoot in hotel rooms, you know, it's like But I'm flattered that like no, it's toe fungus, but yeah, I guess if you want to call it athletes foot if the shift if the fungus fits Oh, do you want to hear what my fifth grade PE teacher wrote about me on my report card? Sure Sounds like you don't No, I just love that transition It was you know, oh, okay Oh, I'm not gonna be able to find it. Thank you though. No worries. I'm here Um Oh, I think Rob is still in that box Guess what? What now I can't find that thing. This is a horrible episode. No offense anyone involved. No, none taken We were not like we did the best we could with what we had I know and I'm having a full blown like I'm looking at my phone like it's as soon as we get off this we might have to like go Brain storm Yeah, we um We're gonna have a very brief bonus today just just mama Cuz papa has to work Papa has to actually hit the books a little bit tonight 8 p.m I'm gonna go down to the lobby and Miami and I'm gonna look around at people and I'm gonna get some inspiration um It's nice to be amongst the people of Miami. Oh absolutely. It is some of the worst drivers known to man live and drive in this place But is it cuz they're older? I don't know what it is It is truly remarkable the way people drive in Miami. It is like there aren't like There are rules sure, but they're I don't know who's in like and there's actually like Like people are driving on the other side of the road and speeding and then they're slamming their brakes and then it's just like Mind blowing and the traffic is just like insane like worse than outlet It's like it's the craziest thing. I didn't go outside today. How sad is that? Oh What else do you do worked all day? We shot. We were shooting all day Wow, we went out this morning for breakfast. I mean one of my closest Confidence my left hand man my my my lucky rabbit and When you go out with your left hand man, does he get recognized like every five seconds? No What? I don't know today didn't happen Interesting. I think it's just like very clear that we we're we need like a little private moment. Maybe people did but They don't said it obviously we're just like Being so healthy we're we're just too absolute health freaks You know what did you what did you eat? Oh, I got a wrap and then I didn't eat the chips that came with it because we don't need those We don't need the chips to come with it. So what did your left hand get the wrap? You didn't eat the chips, okay? So we may have wanted we may have totally even wanted to eat the chips, but like we just don't Because it's just I'm sorry. That's not eating the chips. Now one of us just followed the others Did you want your chips? Yeah, that was good. God yeah. Oh my god. That is killing me the left hand doesn't eat the chips No - You get the same wrap as left hand? - Nope. I ordered first, I kinda got up a little upset. (laughs) - Would you have a P-wap for me? - I'm just kidding. I had, we went to pure Vita as we were familiar. They just added to me, you know it, right? - Yeah. - I got the Tosa Chicken Wrap, and they got the kale Caesar. - Wow. - No biggie. - No biggie. We'll only see what you and left hand film. - I don't know, soon. It's like, it's June right now, January 27th. - Oh. - No, I'm sorry. - Oh no, it's January set, 2017. - Oh, I can send it to you, right? I'll send it to you when we finish. - Oh yeah, I'm excited to see it and I'm excited for everyone else to see it. - It's really fun, you guys. Well, you guys, thank you so much for listening. I hope everyone stays safe. And I love you and we love you. And there's gonna be a little brief bonus this week. I'm gonna hop off and work at the butcher said that. Sorry. - Okay. - I'll show you all my journal ecosystem up close and personal because that's all I have to offer. Who's that? - Did you hear that? - Yeah. - Someone's banging on my dad door. - Okay, well, you get to it. - I don't really want to answer that. - Um, okay. - But thank you for listening. - Love you. - Love everyone, sinning, love and light. And love you, Brooke, love you, isn't it? - I love you, love you, love you, bye. - And we'll see you soon, bye. (audience cheering)