If The Fungus Fits

Hey guys, welcome back to Broken Connor make a podcast. We're so stoked to have you here. You guys know we love to keep it light around here. This is a fun place, a safe place, but I want to start out this episode by saying how deeply desired Broken I are by what happened over the weekend in Minneapolis. No government should be killing its own people. And now more than ever, so important to watch over each other, watch over our neighbors. And because of this rather than fill this ad spot with a read from a paying sponsor, we're donating this spot to small businesses and mutual aid efforts in Minneapolis that benefit immigrants, protesters and activists. And today we're spotlighting the Immigrant Rapid Response Fund, which is organized by the Women's Foundation of Minnesota and the Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota. The Women's Foundation of Minnesota invests an innovative community-based community-led solutions to ensure safety, opportunity and pathways to economic security for women, girls, gender expansive people and families across Minnesota. Right now they're urgently looking for donations for their Immigrant Rapid Response Fund to provide fast, flexible resources to trusted organizations supporting immigrant communities facing crisis. Please join us in donating by visiting their website in the description below. The Immigrant Law Center of Minnesota is a nonprofit organization that provides free immigration legal representation to low income immigrants and refugees in Minnesota and North Dakota. They also work to educate the community about immigration matters and advocate for public policies, which respect the universal human rights of immigrants. Every dollar donated goes to supporting their mission of providing the highest quality legal and educational services to help low income immigrants. You can donate by visiting their website www.ilcm.org/donate. This link can also be found in the description of this episode below. You can also donate through other mediums, which you can find by clicking on Ways to Give on their website. If you want to help, please visit the websites in our description. Hey Connor, how are you? Hanging in there. How are you? I'm, you know, I would say the same. What a week. Yeah, like not to, I feel like every now, like this is, this comment is going to be like when I always say like it's weirdly like colder in the shade than it is in the sun. Yeah. But like, how's it still Jan? You already know offense. Oh, okay. Yeah. That's true as well. What were you thinking? I was going to, just like heaviness, heaviness in the air, everything that's going on. And just want to share quickly, you know, Dachu, I love on TikTok. Yeah. Dachu is the one that said, you don't have to, what did he say? Actually, I'm really bad at quoting. If you can't do it with a smile, you can do it with a frown, yeah. If you can't do it with, yes, smiling, do it with a frown. And then he made this video about ice and I think like all of us are probably feeling like very like helpless and obviously completely forget what the guy said. I love him so much in this video, genuinely helped me, but he said something along the lines of like, you do not have to do everything. You just have to do something, but much better said than that. So go watch Dachu's video because it, I think he, he has anxiety and everything like that. And I think he just knows exactly how to speak to a mind that is feeling very overwhelmed. And so whatever he said, I'll have to go watch it again as everything with me is in one year out one other, but it's it help. You don't have to do everything, just do something. Yeah. Hopefully we're doing a little something talking about it today and, you know, be sure to look at all those resources and donate if you can to everything, but, you know, just do something if you can. Yeah. Yeah. Well said. I didn't say anything, but thank you. Well repeated. Appreciate it. Barely repeated it. But thank you. Yeah. So obviously like kind of it's going to be like a weird episode, but we just, we'll transition as best we can into into something that hopefully people enjoy and it's maybe a nice break. Right. Yes. Let's give it a go. I'm on my PJs. I know I'm in conference room B as well. You're in a hotel. I'm in a hotel. A lot going. A lot of moving parts happening right now. I do think that this is the first time we've ever, I think since like we did like trial runs of recording a podcast that we're both like on our laptops on zoom. Well, speak for yourself. I'm on my iMac. Oh, you have a desktop. I have a desktop. My lady. Comfort for B. Wow. I think we tried, we did this like maybe when you moved to New York, or maybe not. Who knows? I can't remember. Oh, no, maybe when you started tour, I don't know. Um, yeah, as you might, those are not ideal, but we'll make the best of it. We always. Yeah. Such positive attitudes. Always two rays of light. Such hot. You're, I don't know which cat of yours behind you is going nuts, butts to the. Oh, that's robbing. He's having a headache on your new rug. I think about. Oh. Yeah. Hey, Robert. You see him. I can barely just kind of like the tips of his. Come here. Come here. They're not. I just got home. Yeah. You're always a little weird to me when I just come home after leaving. Yeah. So well, you have new bangs too. He just got it. He just found a sale. Oh, good for him. He's in a box. He's in a box now. He'll be fine. Um, can you hear him? No. Is he making noise? Yes. Good for him. Yeah. Good for him. Yeah, good for him. He found the empty box and. He filled it up with voice. Yes. Um, yeah. To the brown. Yeah. So I was traveling. Yeah. As you all know, we were prepared for some disruptions and, you know, man, oh man, did we get some? And. Hey, I was prepared. I thought you handled it really well. I will say that is you know, we're texting on the side instead of do you. That's sweet. To plan this out. That's very, honestly, very considerate of you. I'm sure you could tell I, I was trying to communicate, but I was going down. It was like, I was going down. It was like, like we, we, we, we, we can sense that a lot like, you know, how like geese can sense earthquakes. Like I could send we could, we were both sitting there like, gobble, gobble, like it's about to go down. Well, I guess they don't gobble. Geese don't gobble. Um, they make a lot of noise on SNL, but, um, yeah, I appreciate that. I was, I was going down, but all things considered, I did handle it better than I expected. Yeah. You really, you should kiss your brain. Um, I'm not, I'm actually, I think I'm handling it worse than you because I read your arrival flight as 540 Pacific time, and so I wasn't, yeah, it's eight, it's, I don't know what time it is. It's 7 p.m. Here. Oh, jeez, jeez, does this feel like a good time or no? Yeah. It feels awesome. I just like was it. So like when you landed, I was like a pardon. I thought you got your flight completely canceled. No. I also caught her. I want to be honest and is he did catch me in this? I did lie. Oh, that, I mean, I did, I did get in quite a bit early. Then I said I was going to, it worked out, and I did not think I was going to be able to come right off the plane into the podcast. And so I took a nap. And so I, but I scheduled that nap into, into my lie, and I want to apologize. That's perfectly fine. This will be, this will be awesome. I'm glad that you got your nap in. Thank you. I knew the truth was going to come out, but anyway, I got on the 6 a.m. And then I got here at like 1231, went down for an hour, met you. Well, what's funny is I, I'm in Miami right now. I was working on a fun project with one of my favorite people on the planet. I'm so jealous of the connection you have with one of your favorite people on the planet. It's really, it's really something special. See, they're, they're one of my favorite people on the planet too. Yeah. This is kind of like a fun, fun thing that we're doing right now, but I'm in Miami. So like, I, there's worse places to be in a hotel room, recording the podcast. Oh, absolutely. And tomorrow I wake up bright and early and I go to, so when you, when everyone's hearing this video, I'm either going to be in North Carolina, or no, I'll actually be in North Carolina, and there either will or will have not been two shows that have happened because word on the street is that everyone is snowed in. But for somehow, somehow the venue, not so dead and still taking guests are you what airline are you flying? Because if it's American, I'm sure they'll get canceled. I, I usually kind of only fly Delta these days. Good. And I do, like I always am like, y'all don't need to be doing that when influencers are celebrities like shame airlines on their stories because it's like, yeah, like we all airlines suck like we get it. Like, I will say American, like you need a lot of help. You need like a significant amount of health. Yesterday, I was the airport for 10 hours. I have to lay my flight in 20 minute increments because there was no pilot and no crew. And it's like, you know you're not getting a pilot and a crew, let me go. But they don't want to cancel the flight because then they have to pay for everyone's accommodations. So they just kept delaying in 20 minute increments for 10 hours, hoping that we would all cancel, which I did after eight. But then I still lingered a little bit and I was there for a few more. But they waited for everyone to cancel, the majority of people to cancel on their own before they cancel it themselves. I just like, I'll need so much help. If my, if my 18 pilot doesn't show up, like I don't want them to call in the B team, like I don't want them to call up the bench pilots, you know? Yeah, it's like, why wasn't this pilot already at work? Why wasn't she already flying a plane? I, I think just because there was so much going on, there were so many delays. They were like, we can't locate them. I was like, what do you mean you can't locate them? They're missing. If they're being delays and like this pilot being on this flight and, but like, why shouldn't that be in your system? No, it's like a fun to everyone that's on this flight, whoever finds the pilot first, it's like Sardines. Finding the offie come in. What? That's on Passover. You hide the offie come in, which is the fancy word for Mata. And then all the kids have to go find the offie come in. You're hiding Mata like around your home? Yes, it's like hide and seek. No, you hide it like some, like, I feel like one of the best places my dad hit it when I was young was behind a painting. So if you put dough like soft dough behind a painting? No, it's like a cracker. Mata? Yeah. But Mata ball soup is soft dough? Yeah. Mata balls are different than Mata. They're both made with Mata meal. You know, Mata is that flat like cracker. No, that's as news to me. I only knew it in ball form. No, you know Mata, the thing that people eat on Passover. I don't. It's a big square. It looks like SpongeBob. I don't know what you're talking about. Hold on. I love that you're giving me benefit of the doubt, but I think that you should give me punishment of the doubt here. I don't know what it is. I would be really shocked. I've never seen that, man. I'm sorry to this, man. I've never seen Mata in my life, Dr. Mata. That's crazy. No. Oh, well, that's what people eat on Passover because, hmm. I think it's when the Jews were running or escaping rather Egypt. They were being chased, and they didn't have time to let their bread rise. So they just had to take it and run with it as a flat and-- This isn't the Bible, too. Yeah. I remember this, but I didn't know that that's what they were marching on. Yeah. So you do that for eight days, over Passover, and then you hide it. This is the Seder holiday. You ever been to a Seder? I know. You're going to hate this. No worries. No, I haven't been to one in years. The only thing I know Seder from is the office when they rebranded. Saber, thank you. Sabers? Saber. With a B. Yeah. All right. Yeah. I wasn't like the biggest fan of the office. No, just sort of like when it-- Unfortunately, what's his name? Gabe. What's his real name? Elijah Wood? Wow, I'm really messing up. No, I think it's Zach Lewis. It's Zach. Is it-- no, it's Gabe Lewis. Zach Woods. Zach Woods, thank you. See, I got Elijah. And I got Wood. We'll have those piercing eyes. He is one of the funniest people. He's like one of my best follows on Instagram. He follows you? No, no, no, I follow him. He's one of my favorite people I follow on Instagram. Oh, I love that. He is so funny, like genuinely that part on the office didn't do him any credit. Like, he is so funny. He needs his own show. OK, I love that. I've seen him on a few late night shows, and he is very funny. He's really funny, and he's constantly doing a bit, which you know I love. Yeah. Anyone that's constantly makes Salter. He has got to say he's very makes Salter coded. Yeah. Zach Woods. I'm trying to think of other people that have there just on-go-bit. Nathan Fielder. I don't know if Nathan Fielder is the type of person where I'm like, I don't know if I even want to-- Well, he's a spectrum. Sometimes he's so on, like Nathan, and then sometimes you see cracks of, like, maybe this is who you are? Even someone-- like, I'm just going to use me as an example because I don't know if you feel the same way. But like, he's someone that, like, I think-- like, when he breaks character, I'm like, thank God. Like, you were scaring me. Nate? Nate. I mean, you know, I love the guy. I know. Did I get a little bit of sun today? Yeah, I look sun. And I am, nice. I sat outside and stared into the sun for, like, 10 minutes. Oh, that sounds so nice. I'm very pale. Yeah. Should we recap? Do you want to talk a little bit about our Disney on Ice video? Yes. Oh, my gosh. So we also-- we had a YouTube video come out last week. This week, that is month. I can't remember what day it is, anyway. We had a video come out on Monday. We did Disney on Ice. If you haven't watched it, it's up on our YouTube. That was so amazing. That genuinely, I left like-- I left the venue feeling like I needed to go to a neurologist because I was so unable to follow the dancing instruction that I actually started, like, really thinking there was something wrong with my brain-to-body connection. I mean, I guess that was the time when I'm really, really just just thinking about myself in that video. Yeah. Now, the video did me like justice. I was like, how did I ever follow, like, choreography when I was younger, like, I could not do it. And it didn't even have anything to do with the ice. I was horrible at that separately. But I was really bad on land, like, just following the steps of our routine, which concerned me deeply. Well, we're all professional dancers. There was where I missed them, too. I did, they were fabulous. The young man in the videos, the fun-- like, he's so funny. He's had a lasting impression in the back of my brain. I love him. And everyone was commenting, like, how was Brooke not talking about heated rivalry? I was, but it was Disney, so I couldn't really talk about it. Yeah. But just now, I was thinking about it the whole time. Was that during heated rivalry? It was at the very beginning. I think there had only been two episodes out or something. But I remember feeling like this is so shane in Elia. But, like, I didn't even know the guys yet. I can't even think carried the Olympic torch this week. They are the sun in the moon. That's a good way to put it. Yeah. I mean, our planet, we are dependent on them. Right now, specifically, yeah, I can't believe they just are in, like, to be a young man. And have just gotten your break out role, and then, like, two weeks after the finale airs, you're in Milan carrying an Olympic torch. I hope he's journaling. They were-- I just can't stress this enough. They were both prepared to go back to being waiters. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Like, to have had a dream. Sometimes I think of the film and then some in, like, one month. I don't think-- I think I would probably fall off the deep end. Sometimes I think about, like, what if my present-day self was hand in my phone, but it's my phone from a year from now? So my Instagram is stuff that I've done in the past year. And so, like, what if I, like, get my phone and I, like, 50 million followers? And I'm, like, what the hell happened? And, like, I just have to live life, like, knowing I'm going to get to that amount of followers. But, like, what the hell happened? You know, well, I guess I could look at the pictures and see what happened. But, just, like, you know, is that making any sense? This is just a thought that I have. Yeah. But I'm thinking, imagine those boys a year ago, you give them their present-day phones. And it's, like, here's y'all's phones. You have millions of followers. And, like, you are Golden Globes, Olympic Torch. Like, they would be, like, who's in services? Maybe it's yours. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, that's a fun way to put-- I mean, you could do that from, like, a from last year. You could be, like, oh, my God, look at all these things. Sure, if that's another way to think about it, like, giving your year-to-go self your present-day phone. Yeah. Thanks. Look at when-- sorry, I need to change a subject. Because I know that we just went-- we've been having such fabulous conversations. But this is how I figure out when summer is close. Or when summer's upon us. When I turn like this and the light catches my forehead in such a way, you can see a perfect penis and balls shape. Oh, yeah. So, I'm directly up on my forehead. I've never seen anyone else with this kind of marking. I do know that one. Yeah, that's how I know summer's here. Right now, the AC is broken in my hotel room. So-- Is it hot there? Oh, God. - Some of it's January. - It's January. I know summer's approaching in my room on floor five I have a penis and balls on my head He had a rivalry really quick. Yeah, take it back. I don't know if I've spoken about them in the main I know I did in bonus and on the special episode of obsessed but empty netters the podcast Something bad happened. I think I was on a flight or something and you and his he had sent the update and I didn't I was really tuned into them anyways, but I Was I was sensing that something and John are I basically ever almost just like Myself included very much. So was like obsessed with them because they were just like to like broy hockey bros who just like loved heated rivalry and Dan's texts leaked one of the guys Someone these are random no podcasters like who's he was texting a friend? He was texting somebody He thought was his friend and apparently this guy also has a podcast where they were talking about heated rivalry and Dan was like dude like this show is like embarrassing like Like pandering to blue hair Twitter. Oh Wow, it was tough and then he came out and was like Yes, these texts are real, but like here's the context like I had only watched one episode of the show like I didn't like the show Yeah, really like you guys know that. I was open about that and then like we had a change of heart We ended up falling love with the show blah blah, which I totally get I the blue hair Twitter and other stuff was was tough But like also, it's really hard. I'm not defending anything even though like I I'm not but It is hard when you like think you're having a private conversation with the friend like I know like with my if my text Relieved it wouldn't look good like I definitely have been like the woke left like It's different that blue hair Twitter seems a little bit more severe to me, but and also as like a straight guy, but And he did like he made a statement like contextualizing the text But he never like apologized for that language Which people are upset about and I get that and that's tough and it's all just tough Because like everyone loved them so much and it was such such a good thing, you know and now it's tainted Yeah, but people feel differently about some people are like I forgive them completely like context was key there and Some people are like I can't get over blue hair Twitter And then you can't get over then you move forward. I don't know I'm I'm so I don't know what to do with myself They really meant a lot to me. It's really upsetting. I Was I know I didn't know the guys. I know I'm just I'm just explaining what happened I know it's hard for me to be like I knew them. I knew I thought I knew I thought I knew them I don't know if I still do I don't know let me know how y'all feel in the comments Oh, would you have rather loved and lost or never loved at all? I think we've talked about this Never loved it all really 100% What if you died right after? Like if I lost I only suffered for a day of losing. Yeah, how long did I love? I don't know. We'll see so like say you loved for Say you loved for ten years and then It's like you've lost 20 minutes goes by that is that is a doorknob then that's fine And it's also fine if I've loved like my whole life and then I get old and someone dies like that's fine But I don't want to I would write if I'm like married to the love of my life for two years and then you dies I would have rather never had him and now we were talking about a podcast though that you that we knew I'd for like two weeks Well, you took it in a different direction. No, there's loved and lost loved a podcast and then lost the podcast It was more it was more than a podcast. It was a it was a symbol of an evolving culture That's actually true. Well said and having Like a sensitivity to straight man that you know, I thought didn't exist and now I'm not I'm back to not knowing if it does Thanks I do believe that they came to really love the show. I think I do believe Yeah, I do believe that I'm open to I'm open to Seeing where where everything goes. I would say they're not dead to me by any means. It's just yeah Watch this space watch the space, but that was a blow to my to my guts Were you listening like on a weekly basis? How much were you listening? No, I mean, I'm just looking to clips I just watched all their heated rivalry episodes and They're clips, but I don't watch like their podcasts when it's not about heated rivalry. Okay, but I do follow them Yeah, so I just feel like they're my family We're I don't know. I don't know Watch your space. We'll see what Thanksgiving is I don't know Um, obviously also speaking of leak texts Have you been seeing Blake Lively's Text with different celebrities leaking. Doesn't matter. It that's not the point That's just we're still doing that whole Blake Lively thing Getting scared of like how can we make sure our texts don't leak? I don't understand how to tailor Swift's text skit leak like it How can we ensure that that just doesn't happen? Well, can I just be like conspiracy years for like the next 10 minutes? Yeah, maybe 40 um If Taylor Swift's texts aren't projected like anything and I'm in them in anything at all almost said in America and general Is how is anything like that? I want to believe Taylor Swift or anything that happens to or around Taylor Swift is done with intention and strategically Wait, I don't know if it was hurt. Did anything Taylor. I guess. Yeah, I know Blake's to Taylor got leaked. Oh, Taylor saying anything that leaks Yeah, Taylor said Justin Bell don't use a bitch. Oh, did she? Yeah I was like I didn't know that I can't picture Taylor Swift calling up calling a dude a bitch. I'm like, that's cool but um You have to if consent For the text to be leaked. No, they were subpoenaed - My God, well said, I don't know what subpoena means. - I don't either. I mean, I, how do you spell that? - C-U-B-P-E-E-O-N-A. - No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no That's not even remember. - I think it's subpoena. - Well, I'm in S. - Then I think I was wrong, 'cause I don't think this is what it is. I can't, I don't know, I honestly don't know. A subpoena or witness summons is a written issue by a government agency most often a court to compel testimony. And can we talk to me for a second? Google, how does Google not know who's Googleing this? I mean, it's just like a written thing to attend court. I think it's like a summons. So I don't think that you could do a subpoena for text, but it could be used as like evident. Like I think that you might have to submit it for evidence if you're making a claim about somebody so it doesn't kind of like libel or defamation. Like if you're saying someone has defamated my name and I'm losing work because of this, then you have to prove, I don't know. I don't know. - I don't know. - I don't know. - The text, regardless, I think anything involving Taylor Swift's name would have to be approved by Tree. - Right, I don't think that, yeah, I think that there had to be her consent there. I do. That being said, it could be wrong. - Can you tell me the rest of what you think about this before I move forward to something else? - I just like, I literally, I don't care. Like I'm so over this. It just, I'm just being selfish thinking about my texts. - Oh. - Like I just want to ensure that they don't get leaked. 'Cause I like, I mean, I have, I'm lucky that I'm not like a bad person. So like, I, there's nothing like horrible, but it's like definitely like a, like I've been mean about people that I, I, I don't think anyone. - I don't think anyone. - I don't think anyone's hacking into your phone to see like who you've been talking you shit about. - I think they might. - No, there's 40, wait, 400. What was the lawsuit 400 million dollars at stake for this, for shit talking each other. And then like sexual, like this is like serious, serious, serious stuff for like, that stuff needed to be released. I think for this thing. - Okay, but then you also have empty netters. Who are also being-- - Well, that was like a friend. - Yeah. - So I just, and like that is my worst nightmare. - Yeah, I mean, just, I guess, I've, I think the, yeah, that would be crazy. If someone, that's just like an end of a friendship type situation, if someone were to like screenshot, your close friends, sorry or something, which like I know people do. - That happens, that's happened to friends before. And it's like, there is stuff that I would say to front, of course there is stuff that I would say to friends, that I would never say into a microphone. I'm sure that, and that is the case with everyone. And it just, it just sucks when that happens, which is why I do feel like it, like, it just, it just blows chunks. - Yeah. Chunks, cute, and very dog. Now, Trey, our E-tree, is that her name? Trey, Trey is Trey Payne. or something? tree paint like is that was that like a joke because of t-pan like when t-pan came out she like I want to be like tree pan so like adjacent and I don't think so because she probably they I bet Taylor stuff calls her t-pan. I don't think so. I bet there's one thing I know about Taylor she loves the nickname but I was walking by a car the other day and I saw one like this is so relevant to us to gorgeous thing for a little girl so let me find it. I watched my license play the other day it said smutney. I said that is a gorgeous name for a little girl who loves to well I don't want to say a little girl who loves to read um but it's a girl that's a gorgeous name for a mama bear that loves to read porn wow. for sure it wasn't spot and why like smutney work. No because I was in California. Smutney. Smutney. I think that that's like a horny woman who's just like obsessed with smut. Yeah I like that. Or man. Absolutely. But smutney I should have met like several men recently named Courtney. May you have it. I promise. Courtney's a gorgeous name for a man that studies law. I have never met a male Courtney. You need to you need to go out to a place. When I used to go on hinge I would like judge like harshly based on people's names and that would be one that like I don't care like how compatible we might be I don't think I'd swipe on it. I wouldn't swipe right on Courtney regardless of our compatibility but that's the difference between meeting someone online and in person like if I met someone named Courtney in person and fell in love with the guy then like that's fine but I don't think I would give him a chance on on hinge. Really? Yeah. Okay. So that's another reason why online dating is bad like you are just a lot harsher because I'm not giving Courtney's a chance on there. Well you also need to see if someone like how they use their hands when they talk. Oh it's all about in-person energy pheromones like the way they move. I mean I know it works for some people but I'm there. I'm in my anti. I need to wear my hair heroines. My pheromones a little bit more because my life is really different when I was wearing those pheromones on a daily basis. Your spray? My spray. What did you notice was different? People were always so nice to me. That's so interesting. Not that anyone's like mean to me that often but like people I think that maybe I was coming off as like more of an entity to people. They wanted to let me cut it in line. Yeah. And they gave me the nice silverware. I need to get new silverware for my house. I was in LA last week because I hosted a award show. Did you see that? I did. Tell us about it. It was my first time doing it. Well I didn't see anything about the award show. Did you post anything? Yeah. I didn't know you didn't. Oh my no I didn't because I just got the photos back over the weekend. Yeah. So I didn't see amazing photo myself. But part of me, my nose is back. So I hosted this award show. It was my first time hosting an award show. It was for assistance. It was like for charity for like assistance in the entertainment industry. And I worked with like a writer, like how they do for shows, who was with Nikki Glazer. It was like the coolest thing. It was for assistance versus agents. If anyone's curious to check it out. It was so much fun. And everyone said they did a really good job. Good job. Thanks. It was a fun change of pace where it was like let me like memorize something else that mostly someone else had written. And when I'm there and presented awards now, something bad happened. In the middle of the show, there was a segment that I had missed in the script. So there was about eight minutes and nine minutes that like they had thrown up a PowerPoint. It was like an award segment. And it was my first time seeing this segment. And I'm looking back and I had to just improv and make up what I assume was happening on. It was like it was like in practical jokers when they're like you have to go in there and do a presentation on this PowerPoint. You've never seen it before. You have to like sell it to this group of your peers. You know what I'm talking about? And I was up there and I was like oh my gosh. And the awards were like kind of a seizures. Like they did some serious awards for people that like impactful voices in your community but you know like best assistant of the year award voted by like their bosses. This one was like best overpriced salad in LA like best. And luckily Brooke, I recognize a picture of one of the salads as Jones on third Chinese chicken salad. I'm going to get that for dinner. Oh you should. I wish I was there with you so I could have it with you. But I was just those of you that don't know Jones Chinese chicken salad. It is like chicken fingers almost and these crunchy wantons that just crunch and melt in your mouth the dressing. It's just you've never had anything like it. Sorry. I continue. Smack your ass like a drum. That's what it does. I recognize it and then it ended up winning. So you understand this goes like. Oh, absolutely. It didn't. And I was like thank god. But other salads were nominated. Brooke, I didn't recognize them. There's one called bad ass salads that I hadn't I didn't know. I know there's one from air one, but I didn't get it. I didn't know. L one. Yeah, I think so. The famous one. Anyways, that was that. And then like the rest were like, you know, worse texts to receive from your boss. And it's like call me dot dot. And like is today my wife's birthday question mark. Like get me a reservation at Max and Helen's. And one was just question mark. And I was like, what are you? But the thing is I didn't know how many awards were up. So I kept being like, and do you guys think there's another award after this? What do we think? And I'm like looking at the guy like running the show. And like, I don't know. And I'm like, Oh, there it is. Look at that. And then I had to guess again. But it was like eight minutes of this improv thing. And then I got off. And I was completely soaked. So it feels very like Joey Tribionny coded. It was, I mean, it was hilarious. I was getting text. I was home. You don't serve it. I was getting text like this is so awesome. Maggie was there. Xavier was there. Like my team was there. They were like, they were so much fun. So it worked out. It worked out really well. I want to do more stuff like that. I think that was a good next Golden Globes. Yeah. What I was going to say is that on the way there, I learned that that day Microsoft had gone down. So Outlook, which is like what everybody uses for their email had fully gone down and no one they didn't they didn't get any up. No one got any updates. They just like assumed. But like everyone in entertainment, like everyone that uses Outlook as like their server, it went out. And so I went out there and I was like, what's up with this industry? Like I didn't get a single email today. And that like got them on my talk. Now it's on the serious side. And this is the conspiracy. There's carried over from Taylor Swift's text being released. Microsoft went down. I don't know if it was in the whole United States or just California or what. Microsoft went down, right? Yeah. Like a week ago Verizon went out in New York city like down to Florida. Oh Verizon needs to join hands with American and go seek extreme support and a facility. So that's ever happened as far as I know. Like mass communications going out. Like, Hey, what's going on? You know, you're being a conspiracy theorist. Yeah. I mean like not like necessary conspiracy theorists. I'm just kind of just like. No, then get your shit together. No, like that is not it is frightening. Either you get to be the superpower like this Verizon or this Microsoft or step aside and let someone else, you know, like break it back into the chance. Gifts. Oh, sprint. Sprints. Yeah, like like give continental airlines. Get them back in the game. They never delayed, you know. Yeah. I literally like when Verizon is down like and I have to go somewhere. It's like I have to print out my app quest. Give me a mobile. Give me, I don't even want to say that about RE Ryan Reynolds because he just bugs me. But I'm like, I got my next warranted business. I'm in normal. I think we don't answer them. Oh, good. Well, then this worked out pretty well. Yeah, happy. Yeah. Well, one time when I left my phone in an Uber, I did have to bring my laptop to find this person's home. And then I got there. I was like, how do I contact them? Like I don't have Wi-Fi on my laptop. I'm yeah. Do you remember this? Was I? Yeah. I really should have taken someone with me. Yeah. I was really scared. I really remember that. I went to this like really, I just had never been to this area of California before and it was like was not a good idea to go with no communication services available to me. It's scary. It's scary. People did it for so long. You catch me on a horse. I hope the horse knows where we're going. I don't. I just miss my exit via a hoof. Yeah, I know. I mean, it is like the fact that it was we were alive in the time of map quests. I can't follow written directions. Let me get out of the way. I would never get anywhere. I remember when I have to be looking at the road, too. I would, I would crash and everyone if I'm looking down at the map quest. When we got, when my, when my, when my family got a Tom Tom, what's that? It was like a Garmin. Oh, the Garmin, yeah. That was like the coolest thing that had to happen to our family in a long time. Yeah. No, that, those were amazing. You know, it's suctioned onto the, what's it? Yeah, it's, it sucked right onto the dash. Yeah, we don't, we don't have luxuries like that anymore. Things that suck right onto our dash. I, um, I learned CPR on my Garmin, Tom Tom. Really? It taught you CPR. I didn't know they did, they did that. They were touch screen and they taught you CPR. Wow. We don't, we don't have a device in the world. I, I guess my iPhone could look at phone, like beyond. I won't. No. I won't do that. I won't do that refresher for. It is kind of crazy that we don't all know how to do CPR. I brought this up the other day. Do you know how to do the Heimlich? No. That Heimlich's pretty easy. That's a easy one to learn. You could do that tonight if you wanted to. Tom Blithe recently needed the Heimlich. And once you be bummed, if Tom Blithe was choking and you didn't know the Heimlich, you could go right up in that. I know. Thankfully, his waiter knew it. He was on a date with his girlfriend. Shh. Pete Davidson had a baby. Yeah. Are you just blatantly watching TV? I can't find the remote. So yeah, there's TV playing. It's on mute, of course, but like all I'm getting is the highlights from entertainment tonight. Obviously Mario Lopez is up on the screen. Oh, and now Sidney Sweeney. What did Sidney, what did Sidney, why is it saying could Sidney face legal charges? He has a like lingerie line and she threw bras and shit on the Hollywood sign. To promote it. But like, obviously, you like can't go to the Hollywood sign. It's trespassing. So where is her team? I don't know. I don't know if she has one. She must have one or she might have one that's like has a really different strategy than most. What are you doing? Like, she might have one that's like negative, let's just do all negative press. Oh, I didn't mean to do that while we were talking about Sidney Sweeney. That was genuinely like. Hop your boobs. Yeah, like that was something that I was going to do anyways. And we were just talking about Sidney Sweeney. Did you see the house made? No, I shouldn't have seen it. I haven't. I really haven't. I haven't done that much since I saw you last. Like, I really wish that I had something to, I guess, are you last week? Yeah. And then I just got back to New York and I kind of just was, it was the snowstorm, which like everyone keeps saying snowstorm. I think like Nashville got it from what I'm seeing. Like, Nashville looks like apocalyptic. I hope everyone's okay. Oh, Philly was insane. Was it? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. And I'm glad because like, obviously, like, four of my flights were canceled and I would have been so pissed if they were just canceled. Like for Flurries. But no, like, they were they needed to be canceled. So in New York, it was snowing. But like, people are like skiing and sledding. Like, it was like, uh, like a, I don't, I guess I don't know what constantly I'm new to whether that's like that like cold, cold weather. Well, New York's also being plowed nonstop and they're equipped. Nashville, I don't even, they probably don't even have any sort of like salt. No, but they're, they're trees and like their power lines were just exploding. Oh, really? They're not equipped. But like trees? I don't know. Tree shouldn't explode. I don't know. I saw that on Reese Witherspoon story. Is that what you're referencing? I mean, yeah, there's just like a couple things trees shouldn't do. I think one is explode. I didn't see tree explode. They're exploding. The trees are exploding. What do you mean exploding? I don't know how to say it like any, any, any other way they're explode, they're exploding. Can you describe? Yeah, they're basically blowing up in like the most literals way. So have you seen, um, think of like a bomb? Okay. Imagine if you bombed it or you had a, put a bomb at a tree, like that's what they're exploding in that way. Now, it doesn't make any sense. It's like final destination. Five is like, if, if I was walking by a tree and it exploded, you truly would have to say it was his time. Did you see that bug? Did it explode? No, it just, it drove right by me just then. That is, a fly motor transportation is its wings. Yeah. What kind of fly was it? What kind of fly is it? No, it was very little. What kind of fly? I don't know. It was very, it was not like the one, it was not like Beth Ann. Do you, do you have a fruit fly in your, in your office? Yeah. I guess I, yeah, I mean, it was, I don't know what it was. Listen, I don't, I didn't look close at it. Just something flew by my face. Maybe look into it. Yeah. You, maybe at one point it was a bookworm and now it's a, to fly and have an end to that one. Oh, something happened, something happened to me. Okay. I guess it's kind of gross. It's like definitely very medical. Okay. I keep getting UTIs for whatever reason. And I took, I was, my friend was like, you need to take, I don't even, I don't remember what it's called, but it's just like something you take when you feel like you might be getting ETI. I like kind of like a supplement. And I took it. It's a cranberry. No, no, it's, it was something I got on Gopuff. It was like the concept of Gopuffing UTI medication. The Manos or Monos or whatever, but like in it, like not that. Like I just like in a pill. Okay. Yeah. But like Gopuff that woke up the next morning. For God, I had taken that. My pee was feeling so hurting. And I pee. I look down at the toilet. I can't even like, like, like, like, like, like, almost like, blood, but like, orange. So immediately fainted. Because I thought I was like, I, and I had to go on a plane. I was like, I'm literally like bleeding out. Like my kidneys are bleeding out. I'm dying. Turns out the pill makes your pee different color. Yeah. They should put that on the box. I mean, I went to the ER when I was doing beet juice every day because it's supposed to like, white in the whites of your eyes. And put it on the box. First day, feed blood. I go to the ER. They go, there's, we're not showing any times. I cool do a P test. They go, this is beet juice. So you can go home. I go, oh my god, I had so much today. Okay. That's just because that you're peeing it out. Like what is that? That it was literally like, I like, put it on the box. I'm begging you to put it on the box. He might have hurt orange red brown. Put it on the box. Anyway, I think I think I need antibiotics at the sag after office. And that's very, that felt very Los Angeles. Is there an urgent care at the sag after office? It was like this boutique, like, med spa. Like I had to lie. I went on like, you know, good Rx. Yeah. I like, last minute was like, please, like can someone give me antibiotics? And they, they set you up with the cheapest place for your insurance. And it was just this like office built, it was an office within the sag after office. And I was like, this is not normal. Thank you, though. But I got antibiotics. That's really fabulous. Isn't it? Yeah. Kind of like getting, getting your UTI treated where like, the actors killed, like, that's so cool. Like, that is just like, very like, not a lot of people can say that that's where they get their UTI. No, like Rachel sent it is about to call your phone while you're on the podcast. That's a very, I love LA. I know. Yeah, that would happen to Rachel sent it. Yeah. I know. A hundred percent. So I guess that's really all I wanted to say about my brown pee. I, well, I, I want to jump into it. So I have a doctor's appointment coming up next week and it is a blood, it's a blood test. It's a blood work test. It's my time. Like, it's like covered by my insurance, because it's time. It's the time of the, it's, I like, it's due. You know, my blood is due. And so if anything's wrong with me, I'm just warning everybody, like, like, if they, if finally they're like, oh, we were noticing something, I'm not going to, we're going to take some time, because I'm going to need to like get well. I'm serious. Like, I'm not going to be able to like record a podcast if I'm like, I know my time is up. I'm going to have to go hiking. You're not, your time is not up. If, if they get back to me and they said, like, you have an overactive XYZ or you have your low in this or this, I'm doing eat pretty love. What if you're like low in iron? I'm doing eat, I'm going to India instead of taking an iron supplement. And then I'm and I'm gonna go to. I'm gonna go to the other places that you wish and it what London or something. Yeah, I'm gonna go east No, what whatever if it's closer west I'll go west, but I'm gonna go there and I'm gonna go on it But I'm probably gonna kayak. I don't know like I'm gonna do I'm gonna need to find myself and maybe and This is gonna be that time like it's gonna be it's gonna be like manic I'm out of here. I'm going off the grid except I'm gonna bring my phone. I'm gonna be on Instagram a lot posting I'm going completely off the grid. I will be on my phone. I'm gonna be posting I'm gonna be posting stories and then if it requires grid like it will be on grid and I'm gonna be responding Indicated I'll be off the grid. I will be syndicating I'm gonna be putting I'm gonna be commenting probably I'm gonna be if your story's great I will respond to your story too, but I will not be on the grid So don't even try unless you unless you need to reach out. I'll be there, but Make it I got it. I don't know. Yeah, you gotta put yourself first Put yourself first phone second Yourself third broke if you need to check how your bangs look you can look right into my forehead It's really not that bad. I need no talks if you need to see Anything that's gonna happen in your future. You can ask the magic eight ball that's located right above my eyes Where my eyebrows you get Botox and I want lip filler to to fill in the wrinkles in my lips I went to the front desk of my my gate for my flight and they go. It's delayed an hour I go. Oh my gosh nice. I'll go get a beer and I'll go get a Heineken Zero Zero and they go beer. Yeah Nice and I go what was what was that they go? You're not 21 that's I'm so jealous. I've stopped getting carted. I go how old you think I am they go 19 maybe 20 That's awesome. Do you know how long that is? As I'm as if like it as it's weird because like if someone was like your uncle your chops and your uncle I'd be like no, I'm not But when someone's like you're not old enough to have a beer. I'm like I am I am old. I'm a big boy Like it's like so weird like it's like yeah, it's like grass is always greener Yeah, I've seen some pictures of myself recently. I haven't I have a new thing that I'm that's making me self conscious What I don't want to tell anyone because every time I do people love to chime in I think I In certain angles I have this jowl that like looks kind of like what like a hound would have and like like a cartoon hound This part So your cheeks no, it's a deer it's like it almost feels like somebody's trying to bust through my cheeks I think those are like smile lines. No, and it's not when I saw I'm not kidding like it's when I'm off duty, and I'm kind of looking one way or the other and then I get these like round part of my cheeks are like an Edition to my like a pregnant cheek like my cheek is pregnant I've never seen that Also do also need a picture do you want to see it now? No, I'll start a picture. I want to start getting work done. I'm serious Wait, you said lips and Lip I need my forehead. I definitely at least want to lip flip so that my lip doesn't stop getting really Tiny my top lip doesn't start My I want my top lip to stop disappearing when I smile But also maybe I need filler because Channing and cat have it and they look very great in natural And I want the wrinkles in my lips to close also when I smile I get this weird like thing in the corner of my nose Like kind of like a ball and I don't want that so I'm going to I don't know what they can do for that whether it's surgery or A needle I'm good with either Eaging is a blessing as always I think that's not the aging than I'm worried about It's I've always had wrinkly lips And I've always had wrinkles on my forehead But I'm gonna let the rest of my face age naturally. Do you walk around barefoot in hotel rooms? Yeah, I Don't bring slippers with me And I'm not usually staying places fancy enough to give me slippers I wear socks basically, but I go barefoot Oh, I forgot about socks Everyone Everyone was like you're walking around barefoot in your hotel room and I'm like I weirdly like yeah But I didn't think about it too much now. I'm the really grossed out that I Ever did that. Oh, I never have thought twice about that. I feel like it's definitely like Yeah, you go into a carpeted hotel room. That's just like You may be alone, but you are sharing a room with athletes foot right now I Was in Philly over the weekend and I stated a hotel for the first night. I was I was doing I was shooting something there so um Yeah, I got a hotel for the first night and the walls were so paper thin That the people next to me were making love yeah and I could like hear like Individual kisses Does that make sense? Yeah, and so for that reason I had to save my brothers You didn't just ask them to switch your room I'm assuming all the walls were that thin because I also could hear everyone in the hallway all night Yeah, but not everyone's banging Yeah, but everyone's gonna be in the hallway At some point like no one should be in the hallway Oh, I mean it and it was Philly If yeah, there's probably people in the hallway a lot um now those people love hallways Do you feel one thing with Philly we they love hallways yeah Philly is the city of always um Oh my gosh, what was it gonna say? hallways no Oh cows One thing this podcast we're taught we're covering hallways. We're covering the ground. Oh, I was um I was thinking about athletes foot and I love how they call it that even though like if someone Refers me at me it would hit my neck what is athletes foot It's like fungus we have to do with anything well like because I don't think I'm very athletic But like I could get athletes foot pretty easily because I'm always barefoot in hotel rooms, you know, it's like But I'm flattered that like no, it's toe fungus, but yeah, I guess if you want to call it athletes foot if the if the fungus fits Oh, do you want to hear what my fifth grade PE teacher wrote about me on my report card sure Sounds like you don't No, I just love that transition It was you know, oh, okay Oh, I'm not gonna be able to find it. Thank you though. No worries. I'm here Um Oh, I think Rob is still in that box Guess what what never mind this is a horrible episode no offense anyone involved. No, none taken We were not like we did the best we could with what we had I know and I'm having a full blown like I'm looking at my phone like it's as soon as we get off this we might have to like go Brain storm Yeah, we um We're gonna have a very brief bonus today just just mama because papa has to work Papa has to actually hit the books a little bit tonight A p.m. I'm gonna go down to the lobby and Miami and I'm gonna look around at people and I'm gonna get some inspiration um It's nice to be amongst the people of Miami. Oh, absolutely. It is some of the worst drivers known to man Live and drive in this place, but is it because they're older? I don't know what it is It is truly remarkable the way people drive in Miami. It is like there aren't like There are rules sure, but they're I don't know who's in like and there's actually like Like people are driving on the other side of the road and speeding and then they're slaying on their brakes and then it's just like Mind blowing and the traffic is just like insane like worse than outlet It's like it's the craziest thing. I didn't go outside today. How sad is that? Oh What else do you do worked all day? We shot we were shooting all day Wow, we went out this morning for breakfast. I mean one of my closest Confidence my left hand man my my my lucky rabbit and When you go out with your left hand man does he get recognized like every five seconds? No What? I don't know today didn't happen Interesting. I think it's just like very clear that we we're we need like a little private moment Maybe people did but they don't have it obviously we're just like Being so healthy we're we're just too absolute health freaks What did you eat? Oh, I got a wrap and then I didn't eat the chips that came with it because we don't eat those We don't need the chips to come with it, so what did your left hand get the wrap? You didn't eat the chips, okay? You didn't eat the chips. We may have wanted we may have totally even wanted to eat the chips, but like we just don't Because it's just not okay. That's not eating the chips. Now one of us just followed the others Did you want your chip? Yeah, that was good. God yeah Oh my god. That is killing me the left hand doesn't eat the chips There they were pita. I was having like oh no - Did you get the same wrap as left hand? - Nope. I ordered first, I kind of got up a little upset. (laughing) - Would you have a fever? - I'm just kidding. I had, we went to Puravita as we were familiar. They just added to me, you know it, right? - Yeah. - I got the Tosa Chicken Wrap, and they got the kale Caesar. - Wow. - No biggie. - No biggie. - We'll only see what you and left hand film. - I don't know. Soon. It's like, it's June right now, January 27th. - Oh. - No, I'm sorry. - Oh no, it's January 7th, 2017. - Oh, I can send it to you, right? I'll send it to you when we finish. - Oh yeah, I'm excited to see it, and I'm excited for everyone else to see it. - It's really fun, you guys. Well you guys, thank you so much for listening. I hope everyone stays safe, and I love you, and we love you. And there's gonna be a little brief bonus this week. I'm gonna hop off and work, and they just said that. It's hard yet. - Okay. - I'll show you all my journal ecosystem up close and personal, 'cause that's all I have to offer. Who's that? - Did you hear that? - Yeah. - Someone's banging on my dad door. - Okay, well you get to it. - I don't really want to answer that. - Um, okay. - But thank you so much for listening. - Love you. - Love everyone, sending love and light, and love you, Brooke, love you, isn't it? - I love you, love you, love you, bye. - And we'll see you soon, bye. (audience cheering)