Idiots Of The Internet (2026 Edition)

- Welcome back ladies and gentlemen. Everyone's favorite series. Idiots of the internet. Haven't done one of these in a while. Brought it back from the dead. Let's go. - Sweet and slavery. - All right, well, hot start. (laughing) - Two words that probably shouldn't be in the same sentence ever. Although I will say that does look very sweet and tasty. Nothing about that is screaming slavery, thank God. - Also, that's not a sweet and savory thing anyway, right? - I'm gonna be completely open and honest and brave here. I don't really know what "savory" means. Or when someone says something's very rich, I'm like, I don't, does that, I don't even know how to describe that on my tongue. Like I don't know what "savory" is. I have no fucking idea what "savory" means. I know like the context clues, but I don't know. Unfortunately, I do know what "savory" is, but I don't know "savory". Today's special. (laughing) Grilled salmon, mashed potatoes, and ass burgers. Only $9 for some neurodiverged. I mean, honestly, that seems like a steal. Usually you gotta pay more for that type of thing. All jokes aside, grilled salmon and mashed potatoes, and we're only at nine bucks. Where is this? You know what I mean, sign me up. Due to unforeseen circumcisions, the dining room will be closed this evening. Sorry for the inconvenience, open for takeout and delivery only. What I wanna know is how you were able to spell inconvenience and not get circumstances, because inconvenience is basically impossible for me. That's one of those words that I just cannot spell at all ever. Just look at the camera spell it. Don't look at the TV. Just straight at the camera. inconvenience. I-N-C-O-N-V. And now here's where God needs to get involved. I-No. No-E? Wait, what? You just said I. I said, wait. I-N-C-O-N-V. Yeah. I-No. No? Oh, fuck. Well, yeah, no, I'm doing the I before E, but who early? See, this is, I just get fucked up, man. I get fucked up. I'm an idiot. I can spell. I'm a good speller. I was, I came in fourth place in the fifth grade spelling bee. Circumstances is pretty easy though. I mean, come on. Let's figure it out here. It's Friday night. Remind me to bring you the Hoardor present. What is a Hoardor present? A penis. Hoardor. Yeah, that's what it's called. So apparently it's not Hoardor, it's Orderves. Oh, well, let's be fair here. No one outside of France can spell that on the first go. Like, give me a break, dude. We've taken every other word that's French. Is this a French word? Because I don't want to keep saying it. It's gotta be. It's gotta be French. We've taken every other French word and made like an English version. This one though, one of the hardest that's like two words with an apostrophe in the middle of the bitch. This is the one that we're gonna keep the same. Come on. Can we just call them appetizers? They're appetizers, except they're lifted on a plate. They're not fancy if they're appetizers though. Well, is it Orderves just they're walked? Is that the thing? I think. Isn't like Orderves just like, we're, I'm walking with them. What is it? What is an Orderve? It's just a small dish. It's a small dish. So maybe it is an appetizer. I just said appetizer. I'm getting real American here. Yeah, Orderves is a, is a tuffy. You know, and I don't, Hoardor is a bad attempt. Let's, let's, I'll be fair there. That's not it. It's not even close, okay? No, I don't even know what's going on anymore. (laughs) Okay, never take your life for granite the rock. You never know it's going to be your time one day at a time. First of all, that's not even how you say that. Granite's wrong, but like, that's not even, you never know it's going to be your time one day at a time. It's like, that's like three different expressions of one. Also, what the fuck is this photo? I mean, what are we doing here? You know what I mean? Like, who made this? Like, what AI machine? Shit, it's pants and spit this out. Like, this is ridiculous, dude. And Ozzy Osborne's got lizard eyes, you know? Like, this is very strange. And he's got my grandma's throat. What is this? I'm not familiar with who the black dude is, but again, I don't like, the whole coke in like, listen, get me out of here. (laughs) I'm convinced that looks can be this evening. Oh my god. Right on a, I believe this is like hinge. It's a dating profile. This is a dating profile. Yeah, it's a dating profile. Maybe this was on purpose. Looks can be this evening. So that dude's like, that's not it. And then, you know what I'm saying? It's like an opening. I don't know if women need help getting through. Yeah, that's true. That's very true. I'm just saying, maybe she's quirky or something, you know what I mean? And she's like, it's like a joke. Because if she really thinks that's how you spell that, 150 dollars, a lip tickled machine. Oh, an elliptical. Oh my god. A lip tickled machine. You wanna go to the gym? Hit the lip tickle. You grow down there. Brrrr, dude. I don't know what it is about the elliptical. There's an old woman in my building that she's always on it. Like, that was don't work, right? I mean, I think it does. Like, it's, it is a decent workout. Before whatever reason, there's an old woman in my building. And when she does it, she sways, dude. Like a boat on rocky waters. She goes. I feel like people overcompensate on that thing. What do you mean they overcompensate? Like, they, they go so hard on them. Because they know it's the worst machine that puts in the least amount of effort at the gym. All I know is that every time I go into the gym, this old woman is on the elliptical rock and the fuck out of it. She is at sea fucking deadliest catch. Just fucking rockin' back and forth. Both. I mean, I would have bought it for the 150 just for that. That's a great sign. All right, before we get to the rest of this video, we do have some sponsors. The first one being Seaky, okay? Seaky is where you're gonna want to buy your tickets. 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It's just more or less, you're not competing against other people that maybe spend so much time doing this or whatever, you're just going against the projections. So it's very easy to understand, but it's not just baseball, there's also other sports, there's UFC, soccer, college basketball, hockey, there's golf, e-sports. But yeah, they have a bunch of stuff like that. But you can download the price picks app today and use the code SantaGato and you will get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Okay, that is code SantaGato to get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup, okay? Price picks, it's good to be right. So go enjoy that, like I said, the code SantaGato, go download price picks and get $50 in lineups after you play your first $5 lineup. Good luck. What the fuck is this? Why is bro and ham coughs? (laughing) What did bro do? Why are you ham coughing them? First of all, also, let's get this out of the way. Before we get into this spelling and how that's funny or whatever, why do ham cuffs exist in that size? What's going on? Who's that for? That is a kitten and there's handcuffs on it. What the fuck is that? This feels like jail. Yeah, don't make this dark. But I'm just sad, like, I mean, your handcuff and a cat, what's going on? You don't mean your ham cough in it? Not milk unless you get cat milk. The real human stuff will give her a dire rear. Honestly, this is not technically wrong 'cause your rear will be in dire trouble. Also, what is this even a comment under? I assume, like, feeding milk to a cat or an animal. Someone's on Reddit, like, can I feed a cat milk? And it's like, wait, does cat milk exist? I have no fucking idea, dude. I mean, they must. They must create milk. I mean, I've seen cats like feed on their mother tits. That's not how I want them to say that. I thought that they just drink warm milk. Like, if I found a straight cat, I'd be like, well, I'm gonna warm up this, like, almond milk and let it go crazy. Almond milk? I mean, I live in Brooklyn. (laughs) No, like, you know, a whole milk or something, I don't know. But can you feed a cow's milk to a cat? Bro, we're getting crazy now. That's what, that's what this conversation is. Okay. She's gonna have a dire rear. You got a damn right. This is kind of a crazy question. I never even, like, thought about this 'cause I never grew up around cats. I didn't really think cats could get that rear, but now this makes sense. Do all animals get that? I think all animals can get that. There's a dolphin poop. Are you Googleing that? - I think definitely poop. - Oh! Greg's pulling up a picture of a dolphin shooting like Gatorade Yellow, dude. That is gross. All right, we've veered off the path too much. I don't need to see all this dolphin poop. I'm never going on the water again. What even is this? Can we zoom in a little bit? Frank incest? Okay, that's supposed to say frankincense, which, you know, to be fair, no idea what that is. I know it's not spelled that way and you should too, because those are two different words. Okay, Frank and incest, you know that's not what it is. All right, what is the other ones? Peppermint, lemongrass, geranium. What is this? Dust, like a spice. - Spices. - Spices. - Spices. - Spices, yeah. - Frank incest, disgusting, absolutely disgusting, especially because I know Frank and his whole family. It's gross. That's gross. Chicken permission. Oh, this is a throwback. I've done this in an older video before chicken permission. And I see that we're still going strong. One thing I do want to say is that I'm a big fan of chicken parm. This is the most disgusting one I've ever fucking seen. Okay, this is Bomber the Barrel chicken parm. If you sit down at a restaurant and they serve you that, throw the plate and walk the fuck out. I don't even know, what's supposed to be on that? 'Cause that's not what basil looks like. Like, what is that? Is that like shredded lettuce? Like, what is that? That is a disgusting chicken parm. And that's coming from an Italian. People who eat dogs are disgusting. (laughing) Yeah, disgusting is the word you're looking for, but maybe not. Maybe you are seeing a gaggle of men eating dogs and they are chatting it up, but probably not. Probably not. I was trying to live bicariously through you. (laughing) That's so good. I'm living bicariously through you. Which I guess you could do. And if you're a straight guy and you're like, you know this girl who's like hooking up with who's a hot dude. Like Chris Pine. Chris. (laughing) So if you know a girl who's hooking up with Chris Pine and you're like, oh, that's dope. I'm not gay, so I wouldn't do that. But I'm gonna live bicariously through you tell me how it was. You know, like that's when you're asking a woman friend about her sexual relations with men, you're living bicariously through in that moment. It doesn't mean you're by, by, or curious. You're just, well, you're curious. You're just not, it's a temporary, you know what I mean? (laughing) Please ejaculate this hurricane as serious. If you were in the area of leave, hurry up and ejaculate. The hurricane is so serious, get that nut off and get the hell out of there. That's basically what they're saying. Please, please, for the love of God ejaculate. You can't get sucked up into the hurricane without ejaculating. Be free, what are y'all doing in this situation? I have a friend who sends me stuff like this and it pisses me off, like an AI photo of like, what even is that? Like, some animal about to eat earth and it's like, what do you think I'm gonna do? Like, I've had friends be like, yo, if a fucking giant wave came over building Simon Hatton, like, what are you gonna do? What do you think I'm gonna say? You're gonna ejaculate? Yeah, I'm gonna ejaculate. What do you think I'm gonna pull out a jetpack that I invented out of my closet and fly away? I'm dead. Oh, and see, this is, (laughing) this is exactly the kind of answer I would give. I will shoot myself before that stupid thing and gulfs are the earth, oh my god. Not engulfs, and gulfs. This thing is gonna bite into the earth and then hit a birdie. We love it at our house. Put a splash of wash your sister's sauce in that gravy and give it a little bit more flavor. Wash your sister's sauce. That just sounds disgusting. I think that has a different meaning in certain parts of Alabama. Yeah, I mean, another just ridiculously named thing, not a big fan of that at all. It's got up there with hors d'oeuvres. I think those we should make a petition to change, you know? Let's like fix the spelling on these things. Not fix. They can exist. Let's just get another one. You know, let's get an easier one 'cause no one knows how to pronounce that, okay? They got people saying wash your sister's sauce. That's clearly wrong, okay? Well, there you have it folks. Chris Pine, washing your sister and dolphins taking a shit in the ocean. You get everything in this type of video, but don't forget to subscribe and we will see you next time.