ICC You Next Tuesday

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other people that we've announced on the website plus more to come great list check out the full lineup and get tickets right now at crooked con.com we'd love to see you there that's crooked con.com you welcome to love it or leave it live from hollywood i'm john love it and like every water main in los angeles i'm cracking at the seams we've got a great show for you tonight but first let's get into it what a week on tuesday defense secretary and guy who didn't wipe off the bench press when he was done using it pete hagseth appeared before the senate appropriations committee demanding 70 billion dollars in additional funding for the pentagon to replenish stocks depleted in the war with iran i don't see why this man has to beg when we can more than pay for it with the money we saved by cutting food stamps said a mother splitting a sandwich in half for her two kids and yet when questioned by senator dick durbin hagseth claimed that the war in iran cost a fraction of that amount do you have a new estimate about what the war has cost us so far in this the fifth month of the first year of this war in iran uh senator the estimate we have as of today is 30 percent of the war in iran is a fraction of the amount of the war in iran that we've had in the last year of this war in iran we have a new estimate about what the war has cost us so far in this the fifth month of the first year of this war in iran senator the estimate we have as of today is 30 percent of the war in iran 37.5 billion senator durbin shot back and am i reading this right it says all we got is this lousy t-shirt and the defense secretary dodged questions about 75 billion dollars in defense funding that remains unspent here's durbin again we were told the department of defense still has 75 billion in unobligated funding from last year's reconciliation package is that true roughly correct numbers yes so you've left some change on the dresser before you uh prepared to come for this hearing what's going to happen to that 75 billion well that 75 is there's plans and designs on that part of the rebuild of our military which had to be undertaken this is from 2026 one big beautiful bill which which helped move the president's priorities like golden dome for america move away from all the woke priorities of of what the administration was pursuing so he has 75 billion but he needs that for signs that say welcome to the pentagon no queers slash fatties for the record the pentagon's budget increased every year that joe biden was president though god knows how much money we blew on woke priorities like choosing pronouns for all the drones and all drag queen combat unit called delta fierce the office of tactical poetry and women lawyers during the hearing georgia senator john ossoff questioned hegseth on his rosy statements about the war including his claim that iran's military had been destroyed hegseth has been destroyed by iran's military had iran's military been rendered quote combat ineffective for years to come that was a statement that you made four months ago they had 160 naval vessels you need to answer the questions mr secretary their air force you said four months ago combat ineffective and they don't have a defense industrial base excuse me describe to me a country that doesn't have an air force a navy or a defense industrial base and i will describe to you a company that country that does not have an effective military you can lob missiles mr secretary you stated four months ago that iran's military had been rendered combat ineffective for years to come that was a statement that you made four months ago quote combat ineffective for years to come has iran's military been for the last four months combat ineffective it's been set back not just years but likely decades kiss kiss kiss let's break down why john ossoff is so good at this he's under 70 and he can talk now we turn to someone over 70 who can't on wednesday trump ratcheted up his threats writing on true social quote anytime the islamic republic of iran shoots at a ship in the strait of hormuz whether it be by missile rocket drone or any other device or weapon the united states will bomb and destroy one bridge or power plant trump still hasn't formally said the war is even back on by the way it's like a horrible situation ship he says he doesn't like labels but he's bombing my power plants like three nights a week and i don't think he's at war with anyone else so when asked about trump's comments here's what secretary of state marco rubio said i saw arachi their foreign minister and i said i don't think he's at war with who the other day say or something about their policies an eye for an eye the president's policy is a head for an eye I mean honestly that's what it's gonna be I mean they will pay a very heavy price for the things that do they're already paying a very heavy price ah yes a head for an eye because nothing says we're the good guys like thinking Hammurabi was a soft little bitch boy don't say don't say what I say I trained a long time to talk this way and I actually got approval from many layers of government to be allowed to say this so I'm saying these words but you can't say these words it's terrible if you do it I trained to do this I prepared for years to get to the point where I'm allowed to say these words okay okay okay there are children here uh the reason Trump's threats are escalating is because as Asif noted for all of the administration's bluster we have not destroyed Iran militarily the actual cost of the war is by some estimates over 100 billion dollars and despite all of our might the regime in Iran remains in power and in control of the straight and so on Thursday Trump told Axios that he is considering launching major strikes against Iran saying quote I am considering a massive attack bigger than ever before I am close to making a big deal about it I am considering a massive attack bigger than we're all set for it which is still only the second worst situation in which to hear Trump say I'm close speaking of things Trump can't do the Department of Justice has withdrawn its subpoena aimed at journalists who reported on the security vulnerabilities of Trump's new Qatari plane a great victory for journalism said the AI being trained to replace those journalists DOJ's capitulation came after a hearing in which a federal judge berated Trump's lawyers for errors in their filings and for their decision to hastily issue the subpoenas in the first place it was a tough blow to the last lawyers willing to work for the Trump administration a recent graduate of Huntington Beach Law School and a mop propped up against a briefcase speaking of mopping up last week Zoran Mamdani the mayor of New York told the New York Times that his office was exploring whether or not New York City had the authority to arrest Benjamin Netanyahu if he attends the UN General Assembly in September which is a weird thing to reveal publicly you'd think as a Hamas supporter Mamdani would value the element of surprise then in a video released Tuesday Mamdani officially concluded that New York City cannot legally arrest Benjamin Netanyahu and if I know anything about the NYPD they're real sticklers for the rules said the mayor as human beings we have spent generations building a shared understanding that there are crimes so grave they offend all of humanity anyone with their eyes with their heart with their conscience should recognize the devastation he has wrought and understand that he belongs before a court of law isn't it interesting that he doesn't suggest arresting the leaders of Hamas or that the only person he wants arrested just happens to be Jewish no that's actually not interesting at all Netanyahu is the only person with an active arrest warrant by the International Criminal Court planning a trip to New York unless Joseph Kony has some unannounced travel plans remember Kony 2012 when people thought a hashtag could stop a war crime and then the guy who started it had some kind of psychotic break remember that remember Obama the only other alleged war criminal with an active arrest warrant by the ICC who has visited the United States in many years is Russian president and horse girl Vladimir Putin when Trump rolled out the red carpet for him in Alaska why didn't that state's governor try to arrest Putin I don't know I'll ask up of course it is absurd to suggest that New York could arrest Benjamin Netanyahu when the US hasn't even signed on to the International Tribunal the ICC is like Tinkerbell it only works when you believe in it and it's a European fantasy for children and finally Hunter Biden has made a couple appearances is lately where he's set a version of this i believe that the biggest problem in america is as in in washington dc with the federal government is a is it not the oligarchy um it's the closetocracy as i call it it is and i'm and i'm being totally serious everybody knows there is like this closeted gay mafia largely republican the the only reason that that is relevant is because i believe that internal conflict creates so much vitriol inside a person that they take it out on the rest of the world and they do in the regular mafia guys sleep with the fishes but in the gay mafia they're sleeping with the mitches in the gay mafia you belong to a crime chosen family and get this in the gay mafia everybody wants to get whacked not looking over there biden went further with don lemon who else yeah no i'm not gonna like uh i'm already in enough lawsuits done allegedly allegedly allegedly i mean are you asking me if josh hawley's gay yes are you asking me if stephen miller's gay yes yeah i don't know first of all stephen miller does not have a sexuality he produces and releases spores after emerging from the ground on a 13-year cycle i have no doubt that there are a bunch of republicans who are secretly fabulous but this old kind of fake sophisticated idea that the closet cases hate gay people the most is just it's not about being gay it's that having a selfish small-minded worldview requires all kinds of hypocrisies and contradictions some of which may relate to who you find attractive passing a bill that cuts a trillion dollars from health care and food stamps in order to lower the top marginal tax rate and increase the exemption for the estate tax to 15 million dollars while claiming you uphold christian values is no less of a conflict in opposing gay marriage while soliciting gay prostitutes it wasn't a secret cabal of gay republicans that led us here it was a republican party that embraced trump and all of his corruption and cruelty right out in the open and it was a democratic party that was unable to convince enough americans to side with us because too many saw democrats as no better in part because hunter biden's corruption made us look like hypocrites and it is obviously a hard thing for me to say it brings me no pleasure to say this because hunter biden is one of my favorite artists look at this beautiful tree magnificent and we've got a magnificent show for you tonight and we'll be right back hey don't go anywhere there's more of love it or leave it coming up love it or leave it is brought to you by quince summer days are always a little more relaxed so when i open my closet i find myself reaching for the same comfortable go anywhere close again and again that's why i keep coming back to quince they focus on well-made essentials that naturally become those everyday staples you live in all season long quince is 100 european linen pants and shirts are breathable easy to throw on and the summer upgrade your rotation needs starting at just 34 dollars their t's are so soft you'll never want to take them off and the lightweight cotton sweaters are exactly what you'd want when summer nights cool down everything at quince is the best thing you can do to get rid of all of your wear and tear and you don't need to worry 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think we all do don't let stigma stand in the way of support start therapy with better help sign up and get 10 off at betterhelp.com love it that's better h-e-l-p dot com slash love it and we're back ted lasso's brendan hudd will join me in just a moment but first crooked has a new show with the producers of the circus and left right tv that you'll definitely want to check out before the midterms it's called long play the six episode series hosted by jen palmeri aaron haynes and mitch landrew is all about the south as the new epicenter of american politics each episode will focus on a different state and the first two are out now at youtube.com slash at long play series and on the long play feed wherever you get your podcast and if you are in la come grab your tickets for love it or leave it at crooked.com slash events to check out our new studio and upcoming guests including hamilton's david diggs anthony michael hall from the breakfast club and new girl writer and comedian elliot glazer all right please welcome to the stage from ted lasso and the world cup halftime show it's brendan hunt hi nice to see you ted lasso ted lasso i it was we were done there it was over yeah three seasons yeah and then like a phoenix rising from the ashes yep uh like jeffrey epstein showing up on a boat yes the atlantic comparison we've all been using yes ted lasso back yes yes for another season wow uh agree what did it take like what was the thing that had to happen to go from it's not happening to it is happening um basically it took jason sudeikis waking up one morning and uh and you know looking bleary-eyed at his image in the mirror and going ah fuck it and that's about what it was because we knew what we needed we needed time off at the very least after after three and we literally we just did not know if it was going to come back or not and like it's a full-on gig especially for jason so you know give the man his space and he can he can decide but uh eventually yeah he came around to it and i think particularly because it's a women's team now that just made it more uh interesting to like not come back and be doing the exact same thing so i mean it raises the level of difficulty a little bit to be like because women are worse actors that's the main thing i was thinking yes thank you god i was finally trying to fight what's the nice way to say this um no because it's like welcome well you know welcome uh to uh to the it's the show you loved before with this is about 30 of the characters that you loved so like just stick with us it's kind of on its way to a spinoff but it's not a spinoff it's not a spinoff no was there talk of a spinoff um there i guess there was yeah i was not privy to these conversations but apparently uh a few of the uh of my fellow cast mates have taken their swing uh in one way or another um but uh no we have no seattle uh setting here there's nobody frasering out um so far we're back in the we also talked about maybe it comes back and it's a women's team but it's in kansas city um we were we're thinking about that for a while but then we're like richmond's too important and too lovely and it's got to be richmond so that's where we are now you you've talked about boom chicago which is uh in amsterdam so it's called boom chicago it's very confusing which is a trick yes uh as a formative experience as an improv theater uh what how did doing that doing improv amsterdam in sort of in europe in front of a non-american audience how did that get you ready for ted lasso um in two ways off stage and on main offstage thing was before i moved to amsterdam i could not have given one much less two shits about soccer um but uh but i was i was open to many more experiences in amsterdam and then one of them was uh having pints at three o'clock in the afternoon every saturday and sunday to watch a bunch of english people you know kick each other um and becoming very very into that um and if i had not gotten into football and then you know when when jason came out to work at boom chicago and joe kelly came out to work in boom chicago if i had not like transmuted to them like guys we were lied to sucker doesn't suck then then that might not have uh then yeah ted lasso maybe never happens but the other thing is like that theater boom chicago it's just the best it's the best fucking gig like you're it's the first time for those of us who went out there and like a bunch of people you've heard of have gone to this weird ass random theater in amsterdam and you're like oh my god there's a bunch of people who've gone to this weird ass random theater in amsterdam and you know you're like oh my god there's a bunch of people who've gone to this weird ass random theater in amsterdam and you're like oh my god there's a bunch of people who've gone to this weird ass random theater in amsterdam language, and they're drunk, and you need to really, really give it your all if you're going to reach them, and that's just a certain kind of muscle that you're not really flexing anywhere else. When did the Beatles go to Hamburg? Oh, this is rough. I didn't know about that. I got ten minutes on that. Roughly 1962. George was too young when they first went. He got turned back at the airport. Wow. I know. Wasn't old enough for George to go to Hamburg. No, no. But that's where they discovered leather jackets. Oh. Hey, you were part of the World Cup halftime show. Yeah. The unanimously beloved halftime show. Was there people not like, what happened? Oh, well, a lot of people were like, there shouldn't be a halftime show at the World Cup final, and they're. Yeah, well, a lot of those people said there shouldn't be liberty. But we had another thing to say about that, didn't we? That's right. Didn't we? The Venn diagram is two quarters resting on each other. Um. Yeah, it just, it was bonkers. It was bonkers, and, you know, I don't think there should be a halftime show either. If there is going to be one, it shouldn't be 25 minutes, but it should be for a charity, which is Global Citizen, which is a charity very worth having two billion, you know, pairs of eyes on. Um, and I was delighted to be a part of it. Like, it's just a fucking ridiculous thing. So they were, people are mad about, like, the Americanization of the World Cup, and that included having halftime shows. Yes. But it's like. Hydration breaks and commercials in the middle of a half. And, uh, and, yeah, the halftime show was, was rather over the top. Which is, you know, it's like, all right. At a certain point, look, I know our president, he's terrible. And America, we make a lot of mistakes. But there are certain things where I wish the Europeans would give us a little bit of trust. Like, we, you're afraid we're going to take something and make it less entertaining? That's not what we do. Like, that's not what we do. Like, let us do the thing we're good at. Take something that you did, and that was small, boring. And a little gay. And, like, let us do our thing with it, you know? And we'll make it more fun. Like, halftime show? Damn right there should be a halftime show. I go to soccer games all the time now. Because I have season tickets to Angel City, the team here in Los Angeles. Same. Because my husband used to be a lesbian, and they kept that. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. And that part did not change. No. No. That was great. They kept that. Any highlights when you were rehearsing with Shakira, Dudamel, and Justin Bieber? Hey, how did Dudamel, how did Gustavo Dudamel and Shakira get on? Apparently great, as far as I can tell. Gustavo Dudamel, among other people there, call her Shaq, which is great. That's cool. Because she's, like, 4'11". But because there's so much other insanity at this halftime show, like, when I heard people being like, and Shaq's next, I thought they were actually talking about Shaquille O'Neal. Like, I thought Shaquille was actually part of the show. And because, like, of course it is. You know, Coldplay, Dudamel, The Muppets, Shaquille O'Neal. Totally. It's possible. Turns out it's just Shaquille. It's Shaquille the whole time. And that's probably better in the long run. Was it, like, was being there with Dudamel, with all of those people throwing their underwear at him, did that make it challenging to be in character because people were losing their minds and ripping their clothes off for the great Dudamel? Hey, man, some of that underwear was mine. But back to FIFA. Was it strange being there amongst the FIFA? Yes and no. I mean, I focused pretty hard on it being a global citizen joint, you know, which it was. FIFA, like, hired them to do this thing. And the problem is, like, FIFA, who are, like, nakedly corrupt and will stay that way until the Swiss government for the first time decides they don't want corrupt organizations in their country. So, never. And, unfortunately, they're good at one thing, which is throwing the World Cup, at which they do an admirable job of something that is, like, logistically. Insane. Insane. Like, it's as insane as. I can't even think of anything as big as doing it, like, outside of being a Cavalier, but I think, accurately, like, a war. Like, it's fucking huge. And then football rises above, you know, the players and the excellence and the community that rises up around a World Cup all supersede what a fucking shitshow FIFA is. But make no mistake, despite them being good at one thing, they are 100% corrupt, and they don't care who knows. Do you ever think about how, right now, in different Swiss mountains, there's just bombs that are set up that they can blow at any time to cut off the country and protect themselves from attack? I would say I never think about it. But that's because I didn't know. Oh, yeah. And now that I know, that's a heck of a defense system. Yeah, it's sort of an emergency, like, in case of a real emergency. Oh, sure. But they haven't had to use it, because it's so high. If you ask me, Ted Lasso hits so hard at a show, because at the end of the day, all we want is for a nice guy with a mustache to give us a pep talk. You hear that, Dad? No. All right. He doesn't listen. Brendan, our next segment is called Love It or Believe It. I will give you a person, place, or thing, and you're going to. You're going to have to give them a Ted Lasso-style pep talk. Okay. Then we'll switch off. Sure. And just so we're clear, we know that I don't play Ted Lasso. No, no, but it's Ted Lasso, the vibe of the show. Got it, got it, got it, got it. I'm sorry, yes. Ted Lasso style in the optimistic vibe of the show. Okay, okay, okay. Because you're not also your character on the show. You're Brendan Hunt. Yeah, he doesn't talk very much. That's right. So you're talking this whole time. So I don't have to do a draw or anything. No, you have to be you. But I could do it. Because I'm going to do it. Because we're both doing it. So I'm not asking you to be Ted Lasso any more than I'm asking myself to be Ted Lasso. In the style of Ted Lasso, the inspirational show with a belief sign that people hit with their hand. I feel same. That anybody can hit on the show. Okay, thank you. You know, when you think about it. Because I know you're not Ted Lasso. That's clearer to me now than ever. And I appreciate it. All right, Brendan, you're up first. Jimothy the Seattle Raccoon with a short spine who went viral. What am I looking at? That's it. That's Jimothy. In any other era, he would have been the same. He would have been like a cryptid that people thought was a monster. But now we know because of footage. So he needs a little pep talk. Hey there, Jimothy. Buddy. I know it feels like people are making fun of you or trying to bring you down. But that's just because you're special. And people don't like seeing special things. It makes them feel unspecial. So speaking for all the other people who have metaphorically grown up as short spined raccoons at their elementary schools. It gets better. It gets better, Jimothy. That was beautiful. That was beautiful. All right, I'm up next. I have a pep talk for the guy in charge of making Elon Musk's AI odyssey. Hey, guy that Elon Musk is having make through Grok an AI adaptation of Homer's odyssey. No one is going to blame you. We might blame you for being the person that Elon asked. But when this turns out to be nothing or worse, then nothing, just a bunch of absolute fucking slop. No one's going to say who who did this to Elon. So it's kind of you're you're kind of in the money. You're playing with the house's money, which is Elon's money, which is being used again not to build a hospital or or a museum, right? Which he could certainly do. But in fact, to pay for a couple everywhere, give everyone one is instead he's going to make an AI version of an an all white AI odyssey. That is what the richest human being in the history of our fucking species is spending his time on. That is amazing. That is amazing. Also, because it just shows a basic misunderstanding of like what people look like in the Mediterranean. Like it's not that white. Never really, never, never has been. I would say that being obviously white would be a surprise to the Greek immigrants who first arrived at this country and did not receive, I would say, a white welcome. I mean, the the the the ancestors of the English and Scottish did not roll out the red welcome whites carpet for the Greeks. The next person needs a pep talk from you, Brendan, is the little girl from the other mommy trailer, which is a new horror movie that just dropped for many fans who were shocked and fucking had their stomachs dropped when they're about to see the odyssey. And they see this fella, you need to grow up. So mommy's a spider under the table now. Yeah, it's super scary. Yeah, it's super scary in the theater. Oh, my gosh. They got me with that. They got me, Brendan Hunt. They got me. Pep talk for this little girl. What do you think? Hey, little girl. You know, when you when you're a kid, you think love's forever. But the older you get. The more you realize it's not. And and your dad might have a bunch of wives by the time it's all said and done. And if this was not so great, you know, it'll be like a funny thing you laugh about. Unfortunately, it might be over his grave. But but yeah, this is just a blip, a blip in time. Don't you worry about nothing. Can I say it gets better again? It gets better. It gets better. That was beautiful. And since you have one final pep talk for ice agents, according to the Washington Examiner, morale amongst ice agents. is currently lower than it was during the Biden administration with officers themselves describing the agency as a powder keg ready to blow. Sounds like they need a pep talk. Hey, guys. Kill yourselves. Stop it. Classic lasso. That was one of them. I don't, you know, it wasn't like explicit, but that's what I took away from season two. But hey, guys, quit. That's it. That's better. All right. Brendan Hunt, everybody. Ted Lasso, season four. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Policy Genius. It's crazy how different your life can look from one summer to the next. Are you and your family financially protected for whatever the future holds? It's not as daunting as it sounds. Finding the right life insurance policy is simple and straightforward with Policy Genius. 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Thank you, Brendan. Season four of Ted Lasso premieres Wednesday, August 5th on Apple TV+. The plus stands for shows. Now, please welcome to the stage the director of films like The Doom Chaser, The New Generation, Mysterious Skin, and the brand new I Want Your Sex. It's Greg Araki. Hi, welcome. Thanks for being here. Come on through. Hey, good to meet you. How are you? Hi. Hello. So, you did an interview recently where you said, and I quote, America has so much unhappiness. People are old and miserable, hate their fucking lives, so therefore they have to lash out at immigrants or trans people. A lot of them are sexually repressed. And start warring. And bomb people. Not the Americans I've met. What are you talking about? Yeah, I mean, it is kind of like that old cliche of make love, not war. I think that just in general, we're living in such a fucking hellish kind of nightmare time that sexual repression, I think, I'm a child, I'm the generation of sexual liberation. And just like coming out in the middle of the night, gay rights and all of that. So, I feel like all the progress that has been made through all these ages, a lot of it's being sort of pushed back. Like it was that feeling of like going backwards. I mean, it's kind of what MAGA is, is like going back to the bad old days. So, I feel like a lot of that oppression is sort of playing out in like this violence and this kind of terrible shit going on. So, I feel like there's a tension, which is. But isn't this a comedy show? Yeah, yeah, we'll laugh when the time comes. I just feel like everyone's like, oh, fuck, it's so depressing. No, no, I'm interested. It's a comedy show where we can also just have like an interesting moment and they'll be like, Can we start to cry, though? Is that okay? If you want, you can do whatever you want. They're laughing right now. But now they're going to stop. No, but I was thinking about it because the movie you have coming out is a little bit about this tension between like Gen Z and millennials and Gen X in like the kind of Gen Z kind of moving away from being like sex negative, not having as much sex. But it's this strange thing where, okay, the older generations are repressed despite having been part of the sexual sort of liberation you're talking about. The younger generations, more than any, have been encouraged to try to be in touch with their feelings, be okay with it, be okay with their feelings. And yet the end result seems to be moving away from sex. Like, how do you think about that? Yeah, I also, it's interesting because the film, it's kind of a major theme of the movie. The Olivia Wilde character plays what I describe as a sort of cross between Madonna and Robert Mapplethorpe. Like, she's this kind of superstar artist and her work is about sex and sexuality. And so she's sort of a child of the sexual revolution and her work and her whole life is about sex. And so her trajectory, very much like my life trajectory, is all based on sex and sexuality and these sort of sexual adventures. And she talks about it in the movie where her sexual experiences are her whole journey. You know what I mean? Like, she would not be the person she is. She would not have made the art she makes without sex and without these experiences, which sometimes in the moment are confusing, fucked up, traumatic, or what, you know what I mean? But at the end of the day, that kind of confusion, those moments of uncomfortableness or conflict or when you have your heart broken, when you're with the wrong person, you know, all of that is part of your life journey and really your evolution as a person. I know personally I feel that way. And so her character, that's where she's coming from. And then the Cooper Hoffman character is 23 in the movie. And he sort of is the Gen Z representative. And he very eloquently talks about the predicament sort of a Gen Z in terms of they, you know, were raised during COVID. They've been so, you know, their technology has been part of their lives from the time they were babies. And so communication, in-person contact is difficult, you know, from the start. So it's a really interesting debate and something that I personally, as a, as a filmmaker, I don't mean to lecture anybody, but I really want to just open a conversation and I want people, the movie's 90 minutes. It's fun. It's sexy. It's a comedy. It's meant to be enjoyed, but there are a lot of kind of themes and topics and ideas in it. And I really want people to be engaged in conversations and argue about it and pick a side and, you know, and really get into what is, you know, again, this sort of debate between this sort of asexual generation versus the, you know, promiscuous like 70s or whatever. And, and just sort of talk about that because I think it is something very important. And it's one thing that the Olivia Wilde character says in the movie that is kind of, she's a little bit of a mouthpiece for me in the sense that she's like, your whole generation is about FOMO, but you're literally missing out on the sexual prime of your life. Is that, okay? Like, are you going to be 45, 50 years old one day and go, what the fuck was I thinking? Like, you know, I was 25 years old and beautiful and I just like, hid away this all, like all these years. And, you know, I'm in my sixties and life is fucking, it goes by very fast. And you really, I live a life, my life personally, I have no regrets. Like, you know what I mean? I've, I've literally had such an amazing, life and career and got to make all, you know, 12 movies and I've done so many cool things that I never could have imagined doing as a young person. But, a lot of it was because, you know, I went out into the world and had these adventures and took these risks, you know, and I feel like that's so much of what life is. But again, I don't want to preach to anybody. Like, everybody should have, you know, be on their own path. And, but I just would like to bring up that idea of don't, Don't miss out. Brendan, are you filled with sexual regrets about your youth? I might have been had I not moved to Amsterdam, but five years in Amsterdam, I saw some things, John. I saw some things, and I can feel pretty happy with what happened. Did you participate, though, is my question. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, no spectators allowed in these situations. So, what I also was thinking about is, all right, I feel like Gen X was considered kind of like a nihilistic generation. Gen Z has a little bit about that, too. And I often think that one reason there's a tension between the boomers and the millennials is we're kind of similar, right? There's a narcissism of small difference. The boomers and the millennials, they're a little narcissistic, demanding, we're complainers. The Gen X and Gen Z. Gen Z, you kind of hang at the back of the room a little bit in a similar way. Like, you know what I'm saying? That there is, like, something in common between the two. And I'm wondering, like, are you yelling a little bit at, like, is Gen Z kind of a stand-in for young Gen X to you? I mean, I don't feel like, again, I don't feel like I'm yelling at anybody. I just, I really just want. It is a sub-dom thing. Like, she dominates Cooper Hoffman. No, she, Olivia literally plays the dom and Cooper's the sub. And they have a very kind of charged but also unhealthy relationship. The way I describe the movie is that it's like this crazy sex comedy. And it's like this adventure that he has. That there's a point in the movie where he's all, you destroyed my fucking life. Like, you destroyed me, you know. And in that moment, he feels like my life is ruined because I had this. Affair with my boss. But I like to, but I like to think that when the Cooper, Cooper's character is 45 years old. He's going to look back on that experience and go, that was fucking so crazy and insane. I can't believe that happened. But I'm so glad it happened. Do you know what I mean? Like, it was such a valuable and important experience in my life. Like, even things in your life, as I said, that are confusing at the time. They're somewhat. You know, upsetting or they throw you off track or you just. A lot of times when you're young and your, you know, your heart gets broken. You're devastated. I can remember as a young person, like, breaking up with somebody and just being, like, destroyed. But that's life. It's something that I feel like. And I think it's important. I mean, for me, just again, as someone in my 60s looking back. Yeah, those, those moments were formative. And I wouldn't. I wouldn't trade them for anything, even if at the time they were very painful. Thank you, Greg. The movie I Want Your Sex hits theaters on Friday, July 31st. Against Spider-Man, so. Against Spider-Man. I feel like it's a different audience. What? And we'll be right back. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Helix. Sleep. God, it's important. A good night's rest sets you up for a great day. I didn't sleep that great last night. Honestly, I got back from Love It or Leave It. I had a little Willys from a different ad that I also really like. But then I ended up watching all of Slow Horses, so I didn't go to bed till late. But that's not the bed's fault. I have a very comfortable Helix mattress that I genuinely love. I love sinking in, watching an episode of Slow Horses in my Don Lux Helix mattress. And then I go to sleep and then wake up a little before I should. And then I go to my fitness class. And then I come to Crooked and I record these ads. Helix. Helix delivers your mattress right to your door with free shipping in the U.S. How do you know which mattress is right for you? You take the quiz. You get a perfect mattress based on your sleep preferences. They have over 20 mattress models. You can find the perfect one for you. You get the Happy with Helix guarantee. It's a risk-free, customer-first experience designed to ensure you're completely satisfied with your new mattress so you can rest easy with seamless returns and exchanges. Plus, Helix offers a 120-night sleep trial and limited lifetime warranty. I have a Don Lux. I sleep on it every goddamn night. It's great. Helixsleep.com slash loveit for 27% off site-wide. This offer is exclusive to Love It or Leave It listeners. That's Helixsleep.com slash loveit for 27% off site-wide. Helixsleep.com slash loveit. Right now, the midterms are the biggest story in American politics. But however they go, the Democratic Party is going to have to do some serious soul-searching. Join us. Washington, D.C., November 5th through 7th at the second annual CrookedCon. It's going to be the Positive America hosts and some of the smartest people in politics. We're going to try to answer some big questions. Stuff like, if we won, how did we win? If we lost, how could we possibly have lost? And with 2028 around the corner, where do we go from here? If you believe in democracy, community, and fighting for the future, now's the time to grab your tickets to CrookedCon 2026. Head to CrookedCon.com to get your tickets now. And we're back. Wow. Greg and Brendan, it's time to pay homage to your two respective loves, sex and sports, by bringing back a beloved love-it-or-leave-it game in a segment we're calling How Gay Is This? Beloved Sports Monster. Here's how it works. I'm going to ask you to rank the following mascots on the Kinsey scale. As a reminder, in case you aren't doing any dated sociological research, on the Kinsey scale, zero is absolutely straight, while six is 100% gay. Are you ready? First up, Violet the Raven for the Golden State Valkyries. This is the WNBA. Meet Violet the Raven, the mascot for the Golden State Valkyries. Is she a straight lady raven? Are we looking at a femme lesbian? What do we think? Do we just yell out the answer? Whatever you think. My answers are they're all fucking gay. Super gay. So I'm just going to say gay, gay, gay. And I'm just going to say top or bottom. Okay. I'm just going to say bottom completely. Okay. Okay. We're saying this is a six and a bottom. Okay. I can only come from myself and my culture. Wait, straight culture? Wait, there's straight people on this show? Sometimes. Until they get through the filter. But to be perfectly honest, my first reaction to her, just the pose alone, I was like, oh, well, that's pretty. That's pretty straight. But then I started looking at the accessories and the glasses and the hair. And I'm going five. Okay. Okay. Wow. All right. All right. Wow. Great. Done. Wait, you don't put the answer up so we know who was wrong and who was right? We are the answer. Yeah. Here's the cool thing. There's actually no, we asked Raven and she's not doing interviews right now. But I hope the Raven wouldn't give us the answer so we can just decide for her, which is usually not acceptable on sexual orientation. But with the mascots, we'll allow it. All right. Next up, Freddy Fever for the Indiana Fever. This is for Indiana. This is the mascot for a team named after something that, you know, can either be no big deal or can kill you. I mean, that is definitely not a, that is not a straight outfit for sure. I would say, I don't know. I'm thinking three or four at least. What do you think? I mean, I'm just being affected by the energy here, but I go six, I go, I go six bottom. Six bottom. Six bottom all the way. Next up, Japanese mascot, Kappa Roo. This is according to the Japanese Foundation Toronto website. This is official mascot of Shiki Satama Prefecture. He's a Kappa monster carrying a messenger bag. Recently, he won a best performance award at a mascot contest in Taiwan, for playing bass guitar. So, what do we think about Kappa Roo? I mean, that's, again, pretty fucking gay. I don't know. Does the bass player part change anything? Yeah, that is a, right. It would be sort of a lesbian thing to do. We don't really know the gender either. I mean, I don't know. I don't think Kappa Roo knows either. Yeah. Which is fine. I don't think Kappa Roo believes in gender as a construct. Like that time when someone asked Joe Biden, he's like, that's a trick question, seven. Which is so funny. I'm going to say, asexual can't be charted. I think this is an ace situation. That's what I think. Off the charts. Off the charts. I'm going to mix it up a bit. Say six top. Wow. Wow. Surprising. Surprising. Next up, we have the sentient Pop-Tart mascot, the mascots of the Pop-Tart bowl are giant Pop-Tarts who are sacrificed to a giant toaster and emerge toasted to be eaten by the winning college football team. Follow your dreams. That is being lowered into a toaster. That's very symbolic, I think. Actually chilling. Free the Pop-Tarts. I think they're all straight. I don't know. I feel like this was Greg's student film. It was 10 minutes long, but it was very powerful. Very powerful. A lot of very important themes. Very challenging. My question is, on this game, right, does anybody ever say, oh, yeah, that looks really straight? Like, all these sports things are so gay, right? How often do you think we're playing mascot Kinsey scale raiding? It's not like there's, you know, we don't come back to it that often. I thought it was like every week. It's not every week. Or like once a month. It's not a once a month. It's a rare and special treat. Just for us. It's just for you. So, Greg, you're, like, concerned, like, that sometimes there's, like, a bad batch. And we go, like, oh, well, we had 10 straight ones. That's another Kinsey Report mascot. Bad luck. Yeah, like Mr. Met. Straight. Married to Mrs. Met. Next up, or maybe bi. Or maybe closeted. Next up, and finally, Earl Greyhound from Ted Lasso. Aww. The original. The original AFC Richmond mascot. R.I.P. Oh, R.I.P.? Yeah. Talk about a bummer. Like, everybody's so quiet. Yeah. Is this the first Earl, or is this Earl II? I don't know which Earl it is. Well, Earl II was wearing a helmet, I think, so. Yeah, I think it would be the first one. Yeah. Also a guy in a mascot during the show's first season, but was, there, there, there we go. Okay. Greyhound. Nice pull. I think that is, that mascot, I think, is. Pretty gay. I'm going to say three. I think that, ooh, now the dog. I'm going six in the mascot. Six on the mascot. Bottom. And, uh, and, and, and, and I'm down the middle three on Earl. I'm going to give Earl a six, because he's a, he's a cute. And that's correct. And that's ranking mascots on the Kinsey scale. And we're back. And we've come to the end of yet another perfect episode, if you ask me. However, if you ask our producers, they will say it was not perfect. In fact, they have given me a list of things that I could have done better for a segment we call Second Thoughts. And I know you said, Greg, you live a life with no regrets, but if you have any regrets or second thoughts from just the last hour of your life, this is the point, Brendan, as well. If there's anything you wish you had done differently, said differently, this is a space where we learn and grow. Even about the things we did. We did wrong while on the program. Let's see what we've learned today. Now, I will note that I have yet again failed to earn a kudos, which I can occasionally earn. Occasionally, on a Second Thoughts, they will say, kudos. Not today. Shame. Not today. Let's see. I opened the monologue by making us all imagine a mother who can only afford one sandwich for two or two children. I said, Hammurabi is a soft little bitch boy in front of kids, and then drew attention to it. You guys didn't like the joke about Mamdani being a Hamas supporter, but the joke is that he's not a Hamas supporter. Grow up. I don't regret that. I'm sorry for making fun of Hunter Biden's art. I actually think he's good. My producers and I disagree about this, but I actually think he is a good artist. That's sincere. Brendan, I immediately compared Ted Lasso to Jeffrey Epstein. And I'm sorry about that. I should have perhaps explained to you. Who Gustavo Dudamel is. And the answer is, he's a conductor from signs around Los Angeles. And that is all I know. He is often at the L.A. Philharmonic. And you're often kind of enticed. Wait, does the audience always fill in the answers for you? Greg, you're very interested in how this normally goes. And that says something about you. For a guy that's so subversive, you're like, is this the normal way? Is this the normal way? Are we doing it right? Who cares, Greg? That's the whole fucking point. We're figuring it out as we go. We're trying things. Does it all work? No. Brendan, do you have any regrets? I guess I should have anticipated that you didn't know the Beatles were in Hamburg. Pretty fundamental part of their history, but that's on me. Yep. Nope. I didn't know about that time. I'll be clear next time. I thought they started on the rooftop of that barbershop. Oh, that's the opposite. The exact opposite. Oh, boy. That's where they end. One suggested second thought is we shouldn't tell Jimothy that it gets better. He's a raccoon with a spinal deformity. That's it. That's how it is now. It's not getting better. It's as good as it gets for Jimothy. Let's see. I played the other mommy trailer in front of the 12-year-olds. When Greg said, I thought this was a comedy show, I responded, we'll laugh sometimes. Yes, also, perhaps I should regret that I explained what a fever is in the strangest way possible. And I'll remember what I said. Ah, yes, a fever, a thing that could be not so bad or could kill you. Technically accurate. And that's our show. Thank you so much to Brendan Hough and Greg Araki. There are 102 days until the midterms. We'll be back next week with Guy Brown. Adam and Missy Pyle, have a great weekend. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. Our show is produced by Kendra James, Bill McGrath, Kelsey Gante, and me, John Lovett. Our production team includes Hallie Kiefer, Sarah Lazarus, Raman Borsalino, Peter Miller, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Jay Banks, Gavin Purcell, and Matt DeGroat. And our staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East. But however they go, the Democratic Party is going to have to do some serious, serious soul-searching. Join us. you