I’m Married! Meet My Husband, Vance Voetberg | Wife School Finale

So I've been doing this wife school series and it was on purpose. I wanted to learn from the greats because I knew that I was going to be getting married on August 29th. I got married to my husband, Vance Vogtberg. And I'm so excited to introduce you formally and in depth and like go through everything about our whole story on the show today. And so I thought the best way to wrap up wife school would be to end with me announcing that now I'm a wife and it doesn't mean that the learning is over, obviously. Now the learning really is beginning. I'm actually, I'm the new professor. So buckle up guys. So I have a lot to learn. So now, you know, I'm really the student for real and have to learn all of this in real time, in real life as you do in marriage. Um, today's super special because we're going to dive into everything from how we met, which we did cover a little bit in my Evie magazine article, as well as your sub stack running on butter. When we got engaged, you wrote a beautiful, uh, blog about our love story. But if you hadn't read that, we'll go through that. Everything about his crazy homeschool grownup in a family of 10 kids life, the ultimate Maha childhood before Maha was a thing. And then we'll also talk about, uh, the wedding, obviously all of the details, nothing will be spared. the honeymoon. Maybe some of those details will be spared. I feel nervous, but I also feel super excited because we've really kept our relationship as private as possible. Through dating, we didn't disclose or talk about anything. Dating, we kept all of that pretty private. And then we got engaged. We did announce the engagement. But even between the engagement and now, I've not had you on the show. We haven't done anything. We knew that we wanted to wait until we were officially married to have you on. And so there's so much ground to cover because I know you guys are dying to know more about Vance. And I'm so excited for you to know more about Vance because he is just the most multidimensional, talented, funny, artistic, athletic, handsome, bow-pants-up man that I've ever known. And, you know, godly. Just. All the things. There's so many things I can say. It's going to be super fun. And I didn't prep anything. I just wanted to just talk. And so I'm just asking about you. Without further ado, the greatest honor of my life. Whoa. Please welcome. Please welcome my husband, Vance Vogtberg to Culture Apothecary. Alex Vogtberg. It's a privilege to be here. Big fan of the show. Longtime listener. And so it's surreal. Your team is so professional. Everybody here is top notch. I'm just. Yeah, I'm pleasantly not surprised, but I should expect such excellence from you guys. So something I've kind of shared briefly with the audience. You know, they know that you were homeschooled. One of 10 kids. You grew up in the Pacific Northwest. Where specifically in the Pacific Northwest did you grow up? It's a small town called Centralia. It's a it's a small little town. Not much to it. It's not very cute or quaint and it's not very big. It's just sort of like a pass through town. But what made the town really cool? Matter of fact. Was one of the cool things that my parents did was my dad back, you know, 20 years ago, because we are homeschooled. He wanted to give us some opportunities to socialize with the community and to go out and to honestly minister to the community. And like I said, the town is actually not very it's it definitely needs Jesus. The town is pretty low income. And I think, you know, the Northwest is particularly a dark area. Like literally. Literally dark. Depression, because it's always raining, a lot of drugs, liberalism. Anyways, cutting to the chase. My dad built a coffee shop. It's called Fiddler's Coffee. And all of us kids worked at Fiddler's Coffee. It was such an awesome opportunity. So to this day, they still own Fiddler's Coffee. And that's such a bright hub in Centralia amidst the, you know, darkness. So everybody started working there around what age? Gosh, I started taking money when I was like six. Six or seven. I would beg my older siblings, I'm like, please, can I go into work with you guys? Because I just loved meeting all the people from town and and making drinks. And it was it was such a fun environment to work in. Yeah. So what was it like working there? Oh, it was like the most fun times. Like imagine, you know, I mean, the real ones are going to get this. Alex doesn't even know this, but there's a show we love called Adventures in Odyssey. And in Adventures in Odyssey, there's a there's an ice cream shop called. Whits End. And so Fiddler's Coffee, the coffee shop my family owns, is akin to Whits End. It's like the most vibrant, life giving, really silly, funny place you can you can hang out. And so, you know, we would do skits together as a family and, you know, with our colleagues doing fun social media stuff. And it was just like such a such a blast. So you're working at the coffee shop. You guys grew up. What kind of sports did you play? Oh, we loved all sports. We don't discriminate any any movement, you know. We're all about that. But basketball is sort of like the central family sport. So we all play basketball. You know, come to think of it, I'm mind blown. I was just talking about this with a friend the other day. At one point, there were, I think, six or seven of us kids all playing on different basketball teams. And so you had my oldest brother who was playing college basketball. And then maybe I was in fourth or fifth grade and, you know, spread in there. There were a ton of different kids. And my parents were running us all. They were running us all around to different tournaments throughout the Northwest. And I'm mind blown because somehow they managed that schedule just logistically. But also they facilitated a really strong, harmonious family culture amidst that that schedule. But, yeah, anytime we got spread a little bit too thin as a family, my dad was was really solid about bringing everybody together. And so what did that look like? Ten kids, different ages. You know, your oldest sibling is like over 40. Your youngest sibling is what, 22, 23? What is he? Yeah. Yeah. He does have one single Vogtberg brother. The last one. He needs to get married. Yeah. Rudy. So if you like coffee, the Pacific Northwest and a guy that does beautiful gardening florals. He's also very athletic. He's extremely athletic. What do you guys do? Two hundred mile. What is that thing? No, it's it sounds way more cool than it was. But it's a Ragnar relay. It's it's it's like a long distance relay. We all did. It was really fun. Yeah. Rudy is the best. Like everyone loves Rudy. Yeah. So anyway, he was my he was my best man and he was truly the best man of the day. He did like every detail was like drawn back to like, oh, we got to get ready to do that because he's just the coolest. He honestly was kind of like the wedding planner with how much work he did in the wedding. Yeah. Which we'll get into. Now we're getting ahead. OK, so describe the house that you grew up in, because this is my favorite part. And yeah, to give you another picture, maybe you guys have the Witson picture from Adventures in Odyssey. I would describe our house stylistically a little bit like Anne of Green Gables. And so my dad built the house back in the early 90s and it was the house that I was born and raised in. But it's just a beautiful yellow farmhouse on top of a hill. And we've got excellent views of Mount Rainier and the Olympic Mountain Range. And, you know, a lot of acreage that just allowed us to to roam around in the woods. There's sheep, there's cows, there's apple trees. Yeah, there's. There's more wildflowers than you can ever imagine. And you were literally born in the house. Yeah, I was born in that house. And then that's where we got married. Spoiler alert. So it was very, you know, the wedding was obviously people have eyeballs. They can see it themselves. It was obviously aesthetically beautiful, but it was equally very meaningful because that property, that home was just filled with so many joyful memories. And to cap it off with the most. Beautiful memory of getting married to you was just like the most surreal, craziest, meaningful feeling. So the coffee shop is called Fiddler's Fiddler's. You are a national fiddle champion. All of your siblings play music. Your your sister in law, Katie, who came on the show for wife school, her and your brother, Elisha, started Votberg Music Academy, which which everybody, every parent needs to sign up their kid for Votberg Music Academy. Music is one of the best gifts that my. Parents gave me and it opened up so many different doors and opportunities for me. Matter of fact, it's a long roundabout way, but I want to have met you if it were not for music. Why? The short version is that I got a job opportunity through my music to move down here to Arizona. And so that job opportunity that I learned about through a musical gig I had led me down to Arizona. And that's how I met you. Yeah. Every parent, it's your obligation. Your duty, your responsibility to provide music lessons for your children, because it's just simply the best gift. How many adults do you hear say that, oh man, I wish I would have, you know, stuck with the piano or I wish my mom would have made me practice. And it's so true. And, and so don't be negligent. Don't make me call CPS for not putting your kid in music lessons. Cause I just think it's the most valuable, special thing. And also going back to the health benefits, there are truly so many cool, unique, distinctive health benefits of, of learning music. Wait, what? I don't know this. Yeah, it just, you know, it, it just triggers a different part of your brain and it, it sort of, um, you know, there's these two different sides of your brain, you know, the more analytical logical side, and there's the more artistic side and music, uh, goes between the two. And so it's this dance, um, between the two regions of the brain that really is only acquired through music because it's very scientific. And, you know, obviously there's the rhythmic side of music, but it's also obviously very artistic. So give your kids the benefit of music. It will enhance their thinking and they're just love for life and it'll enhance your home. I mean, uh, I'm so grateful. Like I said, my mom had so much patience and endurance for listening to us screech on the file. Yeah. Explain. Cause most people are like 10 kids learning how to play instruments. I would literally gouge my eyes out. Yeah. Um, don't do that. That's not my heart. Um, so my mom just always distinguished. Productive noise from unproductive noise. And so if us brothers were fighting and, you know, being rambunctious, you know, inside the home, she's like, get out of here, go outside. This is, you know, not productive noise, but if the house was really busy with musical noise, she's like, no, this is productive. We're building something here. And uh, I'm just so grateful for that. How many instruments do you play? I played the violin and the piano. So your mom gives birth to you and your siblings, all of them, except how many? Uh, well, she gave birth to all 10. Well, I know that. I mean, I mean at home. Oh, at home. She gave birth to the last six at home. Okay. So the last six of you were born literally at home, all home births. I think so. And they were no C-sections on all natural births and not vaccinated homeschooling, eating food off the land. You've never had a McDonald's hamburger or chicken nuggets. Um, not that I can recall. We, we did have McDonald's. Sometimes I want to be truthful when we were like doing long road trips. Like a hash brown. Yeah. So we, I remember hash browns and I remember, um, the chicken sandwiches or the wraps. Yeah. I do remember the wraps, uh, the McFick, Mc, McChickens. Is that what they're called? Yeah. Yeah. I stuck to chicken nuggets. Yeah. I don't think I've had a McDonald's chicken nugget, but yeah, my, my, my parents, um, again, they were just really thoughtful about how they raised us. And I'm so grateful for that intentionality in all aspects of life, but health was certainly one of them. And matter of fact, what's really cool about their approach when it comes to healthy food and giving us all the nourishment we needed, my mom's priority for feeding 10 children was certainly health. She wanted to raise healthy children, but she also just needed to be frugal when you're feeding, you know, 10 mouths, it can get really expensive. And so the reason that I would say, frugality was sort of the main reason we ate healthfully. And so a lot of times, especially nowadays, I hear people will say, oh, you know, eating healthy is so expensive. Um, and you know, certain replacements are certainly, but, uh, they're like my mom fed us healthfully, uh, by going to, you know, our, a friend raised our beef cow for us that we got annually and it was at a great, you know, grass fed, uh, beef. And then she would get bulk grains and make bread. And that was really helpful. Really inexpensive. And we had to garden and we gardened throughout the summer and preserve things. And, and all of your siblings are doing that. Everybody is canning. They, oh, I just asked one of your sister-in-laws yesterday. I was like, I always like to ask, I do this with my best friends that have kids and I do this with your siblings. I'm like, what are your kids doing today? Like send me an update. Like, what are you guys doing? And one was like, well, we're going to another sibling's house to trade apples for pears. Yeah. And then do some, she said, we're going to do freeze drying the pears to make pear chips with her kids. And so this is very normal. Everybody has a garden. Um, a flower garden, they're growing food, um, fruit trees. It's so cool. And so for those that live locally, which all of them do except one, and then almost two, almost two will be living in Idaho. Um, everyone else lives right there in, in Washington where you grew up. And so they're all like trading things and, and, and bartering and whatever, or like walking next door and getting, you know, raw butter or raw milk or something like that. You know, come to think of it, they've actually gotten way more healthy in the coolest way. Since I've moved out. So they like upped their game and they got a Jersey cow and now they're like doing the whole A2 milk situation. My dad's big thing right now is raising sheep. And he's got like 16 of his little sheep that are just running up on the hill. And your, your dad, your parents are very into Maha, especially your dad. Your dad loves the show. He has a hyperbaric chamber. They have a sauna. I mean, they're all in, they're all in my dad. I mean, my dad would be a better guest than me because he's so knowledgeable and clever and he's got different. Different theories about why different ailments are, are afflicting different people. So it's always really fun to talk to my dad about these things. One of the, the reasons that we ended up meeting and getting together in the first place is because of our shared passion for health and wellness. And you have running on butter, your sub stack, which is a health and wellness sub stack. And so before we kind of get into the, how we met story, can you explain what your health philosophy is? When was your like health? A-ha moment? My audience knows mine was during the pandemic. What was it for you? Yeah. So I think mine was more gradual. Again, a lot of the healthy habits that I have to this day were sort of inherited just by, by nature of being raised by healthy parents, a lot of movement, a lot of healthy vegetables, a lot of good quality meat. But I would say independently, my thoughts and convictions kind of formed when I read the book, deep nutrition, I was 19 years old. By Dr. Kate Shanahan. Yeah, Kate Shanahan, friend of the show. She's the coolest. She's the coolest. Um, and I read that and my good friend, Dr. Matt Angove handed me that book and he, he, him and I were just like, he was sort of mentoring me into this day. He's just like the coolest thoughtful guy who. Wait, I have to interject about Dr. Matt. Yeah. So here's another really cool thing about his family. So they have this basically like family compound on 50 acres on top of this gorgeous hill. That's where like a lot of them live and they have a literal naturopathic. Doctor couple who lives on the hill with them. So, so Vance grew up or, or whatever, knowing these people and now they live on the hill. Yeah. Um, we call it vote Berg hill and they live up there. And so, and you're very close to them and he's been on your sub stack, you've interviewed him and all kinds of stuff. So Dr. Matt is married to Dr. Amadea and they were definitely the most influential to this day. They're like my, my medical advisory board who I'll text him like, Hey, what do we think of this? And they'll give me that, that clinical, um, story. Sort of insight and expertise, but yeah, they were really formative. And Dr. Matt handed me that book, deep nutrition. And I just thought Dr. Matt was the coolest. Um, so I read it and I was completely radicalized by seed oils, which is crazy to me now because that is like, they actually weren't even called seed oils in the book. She just called them. Now you're like, nobody cares about this anymore. This is so irrelevant. Right. Cause I, one of the things that we like got into it when we were planning the wedding was on our menus. I wanted. I wanted to mention, you know, that this meal is regenerative, organic seed oil free. I wanted that word on there and you were like, oh my gosh, we don't need to include that. Like it's obvious. Like nobody cares about that. Nobody knows. I'm like, no, no, no. For newbies. This is important. Yeah. And, and you were like, I'm so past this because you were in on seed oils in 2018. I didn't even know what a seed oil was until I don't know. 2023. Yeah, no. Well, I, I think that seed oils are sort of like the new face, a lot of companies and brands and restaurants. Are sort of seeing that as like a great way to greenwash certain things. And so that's why I'm sort of hesitant now to the no seed oil marketing, a lot of different companies that you're saying they're cutting oils. Yeah. Yeah. I mean that crazy UC Davis study, um, came out and like avocado, avocado oils, and 90% of avocado oil is mixed with, you know, fricking seed oils. So anyway, back to the seed oil revelation of 2019, I read that book and I was just shocked by Dr. Kate. I was like, I'm going to hand out a book. I'm going to hand out a book. Yeah. We're direct, you know, no, no, uh, no pretty, you know, floral language around what needs to be said. Um, so yeah, I realized that like, I don't think I can hear all this trauma dumping every day. And so much of really quality, good, um, medicine essentially just comes down to changing people's habits and convincing them to like, wake up every day and implement those really simple habits. Um, and I'm like, geez, I don't want to sit across from like a six year old lady who's crying, you know, who's overweight. Who's like, I don't know, like struggling with all these hormonal issues. And just, it's just like, I'm like, Hey, you got this lady. You're going to do well. Like you can pull it together. That's just not my gifting. Um, but that being said, I loved the science. I love the medicine aspect. And so I took a little pivot from actually wanting to work with, uh, people on a daily basis. And that's when I decided to pivot. And another really formative book I read was, The Big Fat Surprise by Nina Tysholtz. And she was a scientific reporter who was, and still is to this day, sort of the, the, the key voice and key person who has fully unpacked just how screwed up the dietary dietary guidelines are. She's so cool. I want her on the show. Nina, please come on. Um, but yeah, she, I read that book and I just thought it was so cool how she took over a decade to really research basically the last hundred years of, uh, nutritional science in America and how that has influenced everything. I'm like, wait, what if I could do something like that? Um, so I switched to journalism and became a health writer for the epic times. Yeah. And so, yeah, out of college, I don't know what they were thinking, but you go to college by the way. Yeah. When I did it online through Liberty university, I was really grateful for that, uh, education. And you were homeschooled your whole life. Yeah. And through college I had, I got to teach music lessons, which was a super fun, cool experience. I had track your track coach. Yeah. That was also really fun. So yeah, no, no. I, uh, I was just reading a ton of different nutrition and science books. Um, and then, yeah, I started working with the epoch right out of college and like, I think it was my sophomore, junior year of college. I started running on butter and that was where I just started writing about different health topics. I thought it was so interesting at the time I was training to be like a good, uh, distance runner. And so many of the different distance runners I would follow online were given all this messed up health advice. I'm like, what are y'all doing? Like you should not be running on all this crap and all these refined carbs and oils. I'm like, you guys should be, you should be running on butter. And so, uh, the birth of running on butter became a thing. And I just started writing and it was so fun and, uh, started working at the epoch times. And this is where our, our paths start to cross a little bit. So many of the interventions that I've done, uh, I've done, I've done a lot of interviews that I had the opportunity to connect with and interview have come on culture apothecary. And so it was really fun to see, you know, um, dot, you know, Roger McFillan and Vonnie Harry and, um, Kate Shanahan, all these people who I interviewed, who you have also interviewed just on different platforms and through different mediums. So a lot of this shared, uh, stories we've both covered, I probably covered them first if we're being real. No, you did. No, but, but actually Alex, no, um, Alex has just up, up to the game. So it's, it's just really cool that we share this vision and this passion for, um, wanting to wake up the world from all of the chronic illness. Yeah. There's all the lies we've been fed about chronic illness. And I think, you know, if I may, I'm just going to talk a little bit about what my health philosophy is. And that is, you know, of course, there's going to be different points. My life where I'm going to be passionate about a certain health topic or trend, I'll be saying something like, Oh, you, everybody needs to eat red meat. Like that's so important. Then the next week I'll probably say, get as many phytonutrients as you can via vegetables and fruits. Like you, everybody needs to be eating blueberries or whatever it is. But the consistent thing that everybody should be doing on a daily basis is again, what Dr. Matt, my mentor says is accumulating health. And so every day we wake up and you, you have to make those decisions on a daily basis to do the, do the very basic things of eating real food, nutrient dense food of living real life of talking with real people face to face, um, of moving your body. And it's not that those things are revolutionary. Those things are actually completely ordinary, but those ordinary habits over the course of multiple decades is what provides health. You're not going to get healthy or prevent disease by doing these in, in and out different health hacks and getting the whoop band and, you know, doing an exercise class for a month. It's the, the consistent endurance of just living life, loving life and enjoying life. Have you ever gotten so bloated that you start bargaining with God? I'm not googling. Is it gluten? Is it dairy? Is it stressed? Did I drink water too fast? Am I secretly four months pregnant? And then somebody's like, no bloating. It's just bloating. And that's normal. No bloating is common. That's not the same thing. Imagine trying every elimination diet, every probiotic, every digestive enzyme Tik Tok has ever recommended. And then you finally do a GI map test. And then you're like, Oh my gosh, it's a parasite. It's been a parasite this whole time. The parasites want the candy. Well, at least you now have an answer. That's one of the reasons I love Jevity. Jevity does not just test your blood. Okay. They offer advanced testing, including GI map testing. So you can stop guessing and start understanding what is actually going on in your gut. They build a personalized plan around those results and they don't just tell you what the results are and then, Oh, figure it out, which is basically what every other biomarker testing company does. Jevity also has a free membership tier. So you can actually upload blood work that you've already done from somebody else. And then they will tell you based on those results for free, what your longevity blueprint is, right? Like what to do with these results. And then if you are like, okay, I have the answers. Now, what do I do about it? And you do want to go deeper. Like I have, you can become a plus member and you can work with a functional clinician. You can have access to advanced testing, like doing your gut poop test. Okay. You can get personalized supplements, all of these therapies all in one place. You want to test to see if you have the MTHFR gene. You want to do a Dutch test for your hormones. Like Jevity has everything. Your body has been trying to send you clues. So now we've got to stop ignoring them and start being a detective. Go to gojevity.com. Use code Alex for 20% off. That's gojevity.com. Code Alex for 20% off your first purchase. Free yourself from health insurance is a free live webinar with CrowdHealth founder, Andy on September 23rd at 7 p.m. Central, 8 p.m. Eastern, 5 p.m. Pacific. What if you could leave traditional health insurance behind and still feel confident about handling major medical bills? You can. On September 23rd, CrowdHealth founder, Andy, is hosting a free live webinar called Free Yourself from Health Insurance. Andy is going to explain exactly how CrowdHealth works and what members contribute, what happens from the moment that you need care until the final bill is funded. He'll reveal why healthcare prices are so inflated, how paying cash can dramatically reduce costs, and how CrowdHealth negotiates medical bills on members' behalf. You'll hear real examples involving major medical bills and bills totaling hundreds of thousands of dollars. Most importantly, Andy is going to explain who CrowdHealth may be right for and who may be better off keeping traditional insurance. The webinar starts September 23rd at 7 p.m. Central, 8 p.m. Eastern, and 5 p.m. Pacific. It's free. There's a live Q&A. Register at joincrowdhealth.com slash LP slash Alex. That's joincrowdhealth.com slash LP slash Alex. We're in the mix of you going on this whole health trajectory. Did you first become aware of me? Because you knew who I was way before I knew who you were. I'm an eye on you. I knew what I wanted. Yeah, so I, you know, my family is very conservative, so I knew about Turning Point USA. I actually came down to Arizona and I was working for a different conservative organization, and my sister had come across Poplitics, and she's like, dude, you should check out Alice Clark. She's awesome. So this was, I don't know, 21? 2021? I had no idea. So I definitely know who you were. I didn't listen to Poplitics much, but as you were growing in your understanding of health and the podcast kind of evolved into more long-form interviews, I'm like, wow. I mean, everybody, all the listeners here can hear how Alex has evolved in her thinking and her conviction. And I was just, I thought it was the coolest thing. I mean, yeah, I literally went through this evolution live on air through a series of interviews where I'm interviewing people and I'm like, wait, the food pyramid was fake in the 90s that I learned from? Wait, what are seed oils? What are they doing to me? And so you're hearing that on The Spillover, which is what the show was before. Yeah, so obviously, you know, Alex, everybody knows that she's witty, she's funny, she's beautiful. And then as she was growing, and these ideas specifically about health and also to spiritual health, it was cool to hear, you know, you have some really special pastors on and writers on that I've admired over the years. This girl is deep. she's got some convictions. She's got some, you know, interesting, unique takes on theology and health and everything. And so, yeah, I just sort of saw us forming, you know, you didn't, of course, but I saw us, I envisioned it all of us just growing just more and more alike, even, you know, as all I could hear was you on the airwaves. Um, but I will tell you guys now, Alex is who she is right here now on the air as she is at home. Like she's the realest, most authentic person. Well, I, maybe a little, a little more crackhead energy at home. Yeah, no, she's crazy. She's, she's insane at home. Like, give an example. She makes like these crazy, like voices and, um, it will be like, we'll be like cooking dinner or something. And she's like, the wigworm is going to get you Vance. And I'm like, Oh, the way where I'm going to get me. And I don't know what a wigworm is, but I just, you know, it's the Alex Clark crackhead energy that I've come to really love. It makes life like the most fun thing. It's always unexpected. Like Alex is the person of unexpected joys because, you know, she could be sitting down and she could be like, and I don't know if like there was something horrific that just happened with the president or like if, you know, or something, yeah, no, yeah. It's just like, it's always shock, always exciting and always a thrill to, to be with you. And so, um, so you're seeing this evolution that I'm going through spiritually. I mean, I, I grew up in a Christian home, but to kind of explain this to people, I grew up in a Christian home, um, assemblies of God, non-denominational to be exact, had a, you know, Christian parents, strong praying mother was very involved. Youth group, purity balls, you know, Sunday church, church camps, the whole thing. However, I don't feel like I was taught spiritual disciplines from a young age, I guess would be like one way to put it. Um, you know, it was very much like send me to youth group and like, she'll, she'll figure out like what she believes through, through pastors at youth group. Well, that just like, that wasn't enough sustenance. And so I just, I kind of felt have an intervention with Ms. Alex. Yeah. I mean, until the last few years, um, I've, when I compare myself, however many years of my life versus the last six or so, I feel like, wow, I was almost like lukewarm Christian or baby believer, or just almost baby Christian for most of my life, just with no, no depth or true appreciation of the gospel. I think I believed in Jesus. I would have told anybody that, um, I just, it just didn't like overcome me. Um, and so I kind of went through this whole like spiritual evolution during the pandemic. And I, I had this like crazy, um, freak out because somebody asked me, are you Calvinist or Armenian? And I had literally never heard those words in my life. And I was like, how am I a lifelong Christian? I've never heard this. And it was just, we didn't have theological discussions in my house. I didn't, everything was just pretty surface level Christianity, I feel like. And so I just was like, there's so much, I don't know, how do I not know this? And so that's when I just I think I, I started seeking, finding a more solid church with, with better teaching and surrounding myself with mentors and other Christian friends that could really help sharpen me and grow me. Um, and really pouring into those friendships a lot and then pouring into me. And then, I mean, especially even just the last year of knowing you and your family, I'm like, man, there's just, I have even more of a, just like this thirst for knowledge. Of learning more. Yeah. And I'll say that's one of the most compelling, attractive traits about you is that learning mindset in that really teachable, teachable mindset you got going on there. It's just, no, it's seriously, again, you can, you can hear it through the podcast oftentimes, but there have been so many instances throughout our relationship where you and I are talking about how we have amplified such humility and teachability. And I just think that's so admirable. And as the man seeing that in a relationship, it's just like, oh gosh, like I want to, I want to reciprocate that. And there are, I will say that there are many Christians who can have the right theology or have a robust defense of what they believe in, why they believe in the eschatology and predestination and all of those buzzwords. But if they lack the, the context of the spirit, like that's, I mean, that's a scary place to be. And it's also just not where we want to be. Like the point of living a Christian life is to, is to honor the Lord and to live our lives in obedience to him. But it's also to have the fruits of the spirit. And if you aren't exemplifying those, like, you know, I'd really encourage you to, uh, to, to question maybe your, your heart and your mindset and your arrogance, but going back to what you said, back to you, Alex, um, I just really appreciate that humility because people with PhDs in theology oftentimes don't even have that. And now I know the, the, the people that hate listen to the show are screeching. They're like, you don't know. She's the worst. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. I mean, you would say that you've like every mistake that Alex has made in, in her adult life has been pretty public just by nature of, your profession. Um, and so of course you've sinned. Of course you've misspoken. Of course you've lashed out. Um, but which one of us hasn't like, again, like there's so much grace and forgiveness that, that needs to happen there. But yeah, of course, like you've misspoken and you said a bunch of things, but a lot of times when you've commented or blocked people on the show, it's just, I just need you to use that, that brain of yours into just not you. I'm not talking about you talking about these people that get blocked. Yeah. It's just like, sweetheart, like, you know, like go call your mom, go be with your child. Like there's, you don't need to be upset by this or you don't need to be consumed with this. Like there's, there's real life to be lived. Speaking of like internet and podcast space and how you say you're discovering me, you're watching the evolution. Yeah. You know that we have mutual friends. We do. Yeah. Uh, so our mutual friends, Samuel say, and his wife, Annie say, and then Katie Faust. And I met them actually at the same event, which is crazy back in 2021. And we just were instantly really close and connected very well. And over those few years, I'd seen that Sam had come on this podcast. Katie obviously has been on like four times. Yeah. And Katie Faust is just the coolest. Um, and so I would text Sam, I'm like, Hey, what do you think? I'm like, what do you think about me and Alex? Like, can I, what about this situation? Like, do you think she'd ever go for me? Or I would text Katie and I have all of these receipts. I actually posted them on my blog. Like, Hey, when you see Alex next, mention me. And, and so they're like, yeah. And they were like the coolest wingmen ever because they were so like on top of it. And I think organically they saw, uh, the compatibility and the shared interests as well. But you know, through different circumstances of life, Alex was, was probably, dating a loser, uh, low life at the time. And so it just never worked out. Um, and then I moved down here for my different job, um, at a different organization. And, uh, I honestly kind of given up on the Alex Clark dream. I was like dating other girls and trying to move on. Yeah. Wait, let's talk about this for a second because, um, I've gotten a lot of comments when I've done Q and A's on Instagram and you're not on social media. Um, so a lot of girls send me in questions and obviously I haven't been talking about us because I wanted to wait to address everything about our relationship on this, on this episode. But, um, lots of questions about like, what's Vance's dating history. Um, why didn't he end up, you know, marrying a small town homeschool girl that just seems like the normal thing. Like he's in this small town, Christian family, homeschool family. Like that's usually I've does you guys marry? I mean, most of your siblings, to be fair, some of them didn't, they marry public school kids, but most of them did marry other homeschool kids. Yeah. So like, why were you different? I've always been, you know, drawn to women with fun, big personalities. Um, and I don't think there's any bigger, more fun personality than Ms. Alex over here. So you had some, you, you moved out here, you did date a few people. Yeah. Yeah. And it's funny too, because actually the day before we got married, uh, we were trying to figure everything out, do errands. And there was something that you had asked me to do. And I called you and I couldn't figure out what it was and I was frustrated and I didn't know it at the time, but you were on speaker and my dad was in the room with you and I was short with Alex. I shouldn't have been short with her. I was annoyed and I was underfed and you know, I needed food and I was stressed out, all those things. This is the day before a wedding. I mean, there's some grace for that. We were all stressed out. But anyways, you know, I didn't realize my dad was on the other line. So you hang up and my dad was like, I can't believe my son's talking to you like that. Um, and then he talked to me, he's like, Hey, you can't treat your wife like that. You know, a few hours later i'm like yeah i know i'm sorry like and this is making it sound horrible it was not at all it was probably like me saying something and then you being like okay you know it's like being short with me yeah yeah yeah yeah it was just a little bit yeah trite trite is that the right word i don't know try is like you're the writer yeah yeah no that's not the right word but my my dad later he was like he was you know i was talking with him and my uncle and he's like you know what i think it's great that vance and alex are ending up together because if he ended up with somebody a little bit more chill or maybe quiet or reserved like i would be scared for that girl because vance is so direct and he's so just like not just so confrontational yeah let me tell you something um no one i have ever dated has just been so direct with no to me mm-hmm as you know yeah i mean desserts oh like literally just anything yeah um is you know vance will just be very firm no like no we're not we're not doing that you have no problem kind of putting your foot down on certain issues yeah and you know when it comes to like this topic of submission or whatever which is like so debated so debated submit woman when it comes to that topic you know it i i'm not going to beat a dead horse because so many people have talked about this on the show and whatever but it is it is true and i'm learning that it's like when when you have a truly godly man who is being shaped and discipled by even godlier men who are holding you accountable and pouring into you and and you're you're in the word and you know all of those different things when you tell me no i'm not going to say that i'm ever i don't always i never argue there's definitely i'm learning there's definitely times where i'm like no wait a minute yeah well and i wouldn't want that that's i like yeah you know going back and forth with you on certain things i feel like i know my place of like i know when it's okay for me to kind of push back yeah and give an alternate no i will have dessert tonight yeah he's bringing this up because he's like so anti-refined sugar and i i like i like a little treat um so anyway because they're going to be like is he controlling her weight um oh no no it's a rough refined sugar thing but when you tell me no or affirm about something i just rest easy in knowing like whatever it is that you're thinking or your opinion on something i just i can just trust you and just be like you know what he's got this it's infallible it's like no need to question no i'm kidding i just mean like because i know where your heart is yeah if you have a strong opinion on something it's not hard for me to just let you make the final decision yeah and i would say that there are very few times when that muscle has been flexed that's true thus far in marriage it's not like we're at this stalemate we're like okay you're gonna make the decision um but yeah we're always we're very communicative and i love your opinions alex is one of many opinions and again that's why i'm i married you i want to hear your thoughts it would be so boring to be married to a wall now rudy is different you're your little brother so rudy's been in the car with us where um we is it's not a fight we're not even fighting or arguing it's we talk passionately yeah and and like our volume goes up and we're talking fast like this it's just very intense and rudy was like um i i think it was like a minor thing of it had something to do with mochi yeah the dog it was something about like who's gonna walk or what we should do with him about something i don't even know but rudy was in the car with us and he was like i'm so glad that you guys have each other and you guys make sense but if i had a girl that was like debating me and like talking to me like this and like i would be scared yeah i would be scared because i just get i get very intense like debating yeah um but it's funny because like it like i love it i go into like crystal clear mode like let's go yeah let's go um yeah no but you're the worst to argue with because you're immediately like um okay what's your evidence for that yeah i go straight into like i can't get away with it i go straight into prosecutor mode i'm like where where's the evidence there you know i said this you said i said this it's not good uh it's not good like you don't want to be a prosecutor as the husband so all this time texting katie and this is sorry this is what happens when i i don't have like a strict set of questions or plan for this show so we're just like we're just vibing we're talking so you're blowing up katie and samuel yeah and his wife and saying can you hook us up i'm dating losers it's it's like it's bad timing yeah i'm dating losers i'm dating losers whatever and then finally yeah yeah finally you know you kind of given up i yeah i just had hadn't thought about it um you know life's moves on you listen to sad songs etc sad music sad movies you know you you go into like a fatalistic what is the meaning of life oh please no um no so i moved on and i was writing a blog piece in the blog i mentioned you by name because there was a piece of content you made that i saw and i actually used you as as an example i don't know if it's a positive or negative i don't think it was a positive to be honest but you were talking you said alex clark mentioned something yeah yeah yeah you can listen to it here yeah yeah yeah so i mentioned you and then in parentheses i'd said i would totally take her on a date and um i did not think anything of that i just like it was funny and at the time i was reading different humorous and i was trying to bring a little levity into my reporting because you know people can only read seed oils are bad so many times so i was trying to bring some lightness some funness to your book your subtext is very funny thank you thank you i appreciate it um and so yeah no i was just trying to make it fun and i didn't think anything would manifest as a result of me those parentheses lo and behold uh some of my readers sent me a letter and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i sent that to you via instagram and you saw it and i went to bed i posted it went to bed you saw it and then you posted it on instagram and you said hey if anybody knows this butter guy tell him i think it's cute or something whatever it was um and i woke up to like so many different text messages and calls they're like this this is your shot go go go go and and and at the same time simultaneously i'm getting hundreds of dms from people that know your family because your family is well known in the pacific northwest i mean it just naturally homeschool community 10 kids they're they have this family band they're traveling right i mean so people know you guys and so you guys have made an impact on a lot of people plus your family's so huge so i'm getting dms from people in your family as well as people that just know you grew up with you worked with you whatever yeah that are like this is the best guy i can't believe i've never thought about this or i have thought about this and i've always wanted you guys to get together you guys are a match made in heaven literally perfect one girl was just one of i don't know third cousin or something was like i'll see you at the family reunion next year like just like new like you guys are gonna get married and and it is what it is um and so i was just i've never had so many glowing endorsements for a guy from just people vouching for you saying this is the best guy comes from the best family and you guys have everything to a t in common yeah um and so that definitely got my attention i was curious i had no idea what you looked like i had no idea where you lived i thought maybe you lived in new york and i was like i don't know i don't know new hampshire or something for all i know yeah that would be cool i like new hampshire so what was crazy was when i posted that katie faust and annie say were all texting me like you idiot this is the guy we've been trying to set you up with for years that you always would blow us off i'm like what and i was like well where does he live and then it was literally five minutes down the road for me three miles from her like i didn't know that yeah i promise i promised on a stack of bibles um that i i did not know where she lived and i wasn't stalking her anything what are the odds of that yeah i mean it's totally god ordained it is because once we started dating you know that made it so much easier especially with the amount that i travel for work like it's very hard honestly with me dating i'm just gone so much so the fact that like when i am home we're five minutes apart yeah it was so nice um and so basically i found i'm like wait he's in this town like i couldn't even believe it because yeah i had no idea you could have been across the country yeah and so and i still would have like given you the time of day i think with just all the people telling me that are solid believers like this guy is a good guy is something is someone you should pay attention to but i was like okay well sure and and you got my number from them and and called me immediately and um asked me to go to dinner yeah and we went out the night well i told you i had to go to dc yeah for something for a week i had to go to dc and new york city i had to go to fox and i do a bunch of stuff and so i was like well i can either go out literally tomorrow or we gotta wait a week because i i'm going out of town this is how my schedule works it's always just like now or never and you were like i'll take tomorrow for many years of you know living for the hope of it all you gotta take your shot while you while you can and so i'm like yeah we gotta go out tomorrow and so i texted my friends and i'm not like a i i was still new to scottsdale i didn't know the places to go to and i didn't eat out that much because i like cooking and i like making my own food so i'm like geez where do i take out miss alex and uh i texted a bunch of friends and one of my friends was like i'm gonna go to scottsdale and i'm like i'm gonna go to scottsdale and i'm like i'm gonna go to scottsdale and i'm like i'm gonna go to scottsdale and i'm like i'm gonna friends who followed you on social media gabby shout out to gabby she's like i think she's been to this restaurant it's maha it's cool it's an old town and so i'm like sick got reservations to that restaurant it's called the ends in scottsdale super cool restaurant uh seed oil free um and so we went out and you know i i you know i'll never forget you walking she was like 15 minutes late and each one of those minutes she was late i was you know wanted to kill myself i was like gosh just got stood up uh no but she showed up and i saw her walking down and i'm just i'll never forget that moment of seeing you for the first time and hugging and then sitting down and talking about everything and we went straight into the actual meat we were eating but also conversationally uh we went into the meat as well talked about like homeschooling kids and you know theological convictions and you know all of the different meaty topics that people are like oh no i'm not joking let's talk about this because you deny saying this on the first date you absolutely did uh what okay you say to me when you sin do you feel guilt and i was like he's trying to figure out if i'm a christian yeah i don't i don't remember that one you were like i would never say that on first day i'm like you absolutely did because it was so like obviously you don't ever get asked that on a first date so i i told my friends that i was like you won't believe what he asked me but i under it was funny it's like funny i understood it's the holy spirit litmus test right if if you sin you know yeah do you feel convicted after you said exactly and so i was like it's a good question but like man this guy isn't playing around yeah yeah so i didn't waste my time uh just got into it talked about all the things it was a really organic fun conversation and i obviously had a bit of the upper hand because i'd listened to her podcast um and so i knew obviously a lot of what she was interested in and then so she sort of was just asking about my upbringing and while it was similar in the fact that we were both raised in christian homes it was like pretty different on a lot of uh a lot of different features within our upbringing so it's fun to talk about dissimilarities we had um but then how over the course of our lives it's just like come into this perfect river so now i think we can get into the juicy stuff yeah which is we start dating no we start dating and how long did it take for you to know that you loved me i well i told you i loved you first first and uh it was six weeks we had gone back to your families for thanksgiving and i got to see you in your own home environment with your mom with your aunts and uncles with your grandmas who grandma duty and grandma foster they're the sweetest and i just got to see you in the environment in which you were raised and then meet all my best friends and meet all your best kentucky friends and my admiration and love for you just like deep and significantly in that short thanksgiving weekend just because i saw what meant most to you right again one of these things that i appreciate so deeply about you and have come to love so dearly is that your prioritization is just so spot on in life and so there are many many different people in your specific career who will say the right things will you know have a lot of different provocative content just to chase clout and just to be the topic of conversation or maybe push themselves really hard like i gotta be in this conversation in this room and talk to this person to leverage this situation uh but with you like you honestly couldn't care less about like career advancement or oh the big party i hate it all yeah i do it because i need to do it yeah but it's not my it was just so cool to see i'm a homebody really yeah and to see you like with your you know hometown friends just being your hometown cuddled up on my mom's couch in my sloth blanket she's a little sloth blankie for me yeah yeah and it was it was just so so sweet because like i know there was no other place you would rather be than with your friends and with your family and i saw right there and then that you not only value them but you value your family and you value your family and you value your that so deeply, but that infrastructure, that apparatus you had around you was really comforting for me because you know, you're living out here in Arizona. You don't have the full context of who you are, where you come from, but for me to go back to your hometown and to meet your friends and to meet your family, I'm like, Oh, Alex, like this, this picture is coming together now. And it just, it made a lot more sense. And just my admiration and love for you just grew exponentially there. And that's afterward, right? When I told you, I loved you. Maybe like a week later, a week later or two. Yeah. And then I honestly, I thought you would say it back, but you weren't ready. No. So, so here's, what's interesting. His was very much a through line, very romantic, pursued me nonstop for years, literally multiple years. Were pursuing me and then didn't stop once we got together. I, there was a lot going on in my life. I had just gotten out of a horrible relationship. Charlie Kirk was murdered. I'd lost my dad in the last year. Like there was just so much going on. I honestly, when this all happened and like he posted that blog and I accepted the date, like I wasn't thinking like this guy's going to be my husband. I'm like, this is another date with somebody that is, you know, whatever. He's probably going to be interesting. And, and, and when we were on that date, I, at the end of it, I said, you're the smartest. You're the most interesting man I've ever met. And I think you're the most interesting man I've ever met. But it wasn't like, I felt like romantic sparks. Like I wasn't like, you know, just totally overwhelmed with like, I like this person. I didn't even know if I liked you. Um, that's the truth. And I was just like, well, he's interesting. I want to see him again. We have a lot in common, you know, maybe there could be something there, but I just don't know. And I, and I'm not even in a place where I don't even know if I can entertain dating or being in a relationship. It was just, it was just a really, it was just a, emotional time for me. So we have our first date and then I, I leave for a week. I come back. Our second date was a double date dinner with a married couple friend of yours that I love. Yeah. So my best CrossFit Kevin and his wife, Jordan, they're the coolest. They're awesome. Um, and so, uh, had dinner with them. You asked me to go to church the next morning with you, went to church. You had to be at the airport the next night to leave because you had a work trip for a week. And so I offered to take you there. On the way to the airport, I'm not thinking anything. I'm just like, this is a, I don't know, nice guy. We've had like two dates. I don't know. I'm still not liking you yet. Like I'm, I'm liking you as a friend, but I'm not thinking anything romantic yet. I'm just like trying to get comfortable around you. And he literally drops this bomb on me. And it's like, you go, so Alex, I've been really thinking, and I was wondering if you would be my girlfriend. The, the way that my jaw dropped, it was the last thing that I was expecting to hear you say, I'm like, we don't even know each other. Like, how can you say, and I was like, we haven't even kissed. We haven't even held hands. Like I've literally had like two dates with you, you know, two and a half, like we don't know each other. And you were like, well, I don't have to have done any of that yet to know that I want to pursue this and, and for you to be my girlfriend. And the reason I said, I, I, I asked to be your boyfriend, uh, was because you had mentioned earlier that, uh, I was coming around for a, for a second date. That was not me. And I wanted, I was like, no, I got to lock this down. You're mine. I went on a date with somebody else the night before you. And so I think I just met, I was, you were like, when was the last, oh, that I think on our first date, you might've said, when was the, when was the last time you went on a date? And I was like, well, it was at the date you, you shared the gospel with that guy. No, but there's been many of those in the last, in the last year at that time. Um, so anyway, I, I, yeah. It felt like. Yeah. I'm like, no, there, there needs to be one guy in her life and that guy is going to be me. So I wanted that, you know, title that DTR, if you will, to, uh, to make it exclusive to Vance. And like, and hear me out now we're married, obviously. So I can, I can say this and you guys know there's a happy ending, but at the, when he's saying this to me, my heart is saying, no, like, I don't want to be official with you. I don't even know if I like you. I don't know how I feel. My brain was saying, you need to say yes. Because everything that I was looking for, praying for in a husband, you obviously embodied. And I, I was like shocked. Cause I'm like sitting there and you really, if you want time to think about it, you can think about it. And I was just like, I was like, okay. And I, and I was like, why am I saying yes? And I was like, I remember you leaving, like we get to the airport, I drop you off. Um, also I made you cookies on the way to there. I gave you cookies. That was really nice. Homemade chocolate chip cookies. I gave you a little snack bag for the plane and a note. Yeah. Um, also there's something sort of, and I mean, maybe this isn't just me, but there's something romantic about dropping somebody off at the airport. So it felt like the right time to like, I was just like, how do you even know how you feel about me? But, but the truth is you had had so much time to kind of hear me get to know me. I knew you better than you knew me. So I was going in blind, but I said yes. And then basically the whole time he was on this work trip, I'm texting my friends like, what have I done? Well, I don't even know this guy. I don't even know if I like him. Like maybe, maybe we should bring up when he gets home. Like, I'll just see how it feels that if I'm not feeling, this is not a big deal. Nobody even knows that I have a boyfriend. So it's going to be. easy if I break it off. And so for the first like couple weeks, it was just really, it was just, it was hard for me. I was really unsure. I was trying to get to know you. I think you were also trying to just like figure out boundaries, be respectful. My dating culture that I came from was a lot more worldly than yours. And so there was just a lot that was like normal or customary to me that like, wasn't to you and vice versa. And so we're just like trying to understand each other and where we're coming from. And so I think you were calling your friends, like, should I break this off? And then I was calling mine, like, should I break this off? But you were all, you would always like come back around and be like, no, like I know, I see the potential here. I know that this is what I'm looking for. Yeah. I like, I knew where you stood on all of the very, very important issues on all the fundamental issues that are requisite in being aligned for. For a successful relationship and marriage. Um, but I think there were some different ways about navigating each of those issues that whether that was communication or, you know, just different ways that we had going about things that we were trying to figure out and identify. And so of course it was just, it was, we were just trying to figure it out. It was our growing, growing season. So it took me a month after Vance said, I love you to say, I love you back. And I said it ironically enough, after meeting and spending time with your family for Christmas, and fell in love with them. Yeah. She said it on an airplane. And I thought I was going to fricking take down that airplane. Cause I was so hyped. Yeah. I leaned over and whispered in your ear. I was like, Hey, come here. I want to tell you something. And then, and then I don't know, you probably thought I was going to give you a kiss or something. And then I whispered, I just said, I love you. And you were like, Whoa, you were so excited. Cause I knew how much it meant to you for you to say those words. Yeah. So I really took my time. You know, I did it. Nothing about this relationship was rushed. It was very thoughtful. Um, I just, I, especially after my last relationship, I wanted to be so sure. I, I just, I couldn't go through what I went through again of like thinking a guy is one way and then horrifically finding out another, like a Jekyll Hyde situation. I just, I couldn't, I'm mentally, especially after Charlie's murder, I could not deal with that again. Um, or going through something like so emotionally traumatic. Um, and so anyway, basically after that, I mean, how soon were you thinking like, okay, I think I, I want to propose. I was dating for the intention of marriage. I think you were too. Um, I think that I was like, yeah, I'm going to marry this woman. Uh, there were different people in my life, really wise people. They're like, it's not like they didn't like you. They're like, we think she's awesome, but there's just the, the test of time is really important. My friend just became a new mom and her baby has been dealing with horrible diaper rash. So naturally I became the completely normal friend who responds to this by launching an investigation into the entire diaper industrial complex. First, we talked about what's actually in diapers. And then I told her everything I learned from my friend, Alison Evans, about how irritating some baby wipes can be and that you can literally use water on dry wipes. Instead, we have somehow reached a point in civilization where cleaning a baby requires a chemistry degree and then to help soothe and support the irritated skin. I said, I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to send her active skin repair. Active skin repair uses hypochlorous acid, a molecule that mimics part of your baby's natural immune response to help clean skin, soothe irritation and support healing. And it's not just for diaper area irritation. I use this stuff on everything. Cuts, scrapes, burns, sunburns, rashes. If you've got a bachelorette party coming up, you should bring active skin repair. If you are going to be hiking in the woods, you should bring active skin repair. Basically every minor skin catastrophe that your household produces, you want to use active skin repair on it. It's totally non-toxic. It's clean ingredients. It's gentle enough for the whole family from pets to grandma. Go to activeskinrepair.com. That's activeskinrepair.com. Code Alex for 20% off. The best part about fall is obviously the drinks, the kimonos and the hats. September hits and suddenly I'm wearing a enormous knit kimono and a completely unnecessary wide brim hat while carrying a seasonal beverage around my house like I own an apple orchard in Vermont. I don't. I've actually never been there. It's on my bucket list. If somebody lives there and wants to host me, I'll come and I'll read your kids' bedtime stories. It'll be fun. It could be 104 degrees outside here in Phoenix, but the outfit is a lie. The beverage is real though. And this is where vanilla cowboy colostrum becomes elite. Here's your fall drink. Coffee, whole milk, a little maple syrup, cinnamon, and a scoop of vanilla cowboy colostrum. You froth it together. You have a maple cinnamon latte that tastes like you paid $11 for it at a coffee shop where the barista is just openly liberal and disappointed in you. And you're getting cowboys whole bovine colostrum from grass-fed US dairy cows while participating in the most important female tradition of September, pretending that we live in a Nancy Meyers movie. Cowboy also makes cookies and cream, which is dangerously good in milk or smoothies. Go to cowboy colostrum. Use code Alex 25 for 25% off. That's cowboy colostrum.com. Code Alex 25 for 25% off. Put on the hat, make the drink. We have three months before peppermint takes over the government. Probably our biggest fight while we were dating you had siblings that were telling you, are you sure you want to marry her? She she's not into running. And you told me this. You told me that they were like, I was like, what are your siblings thinking? And he probably shouldn't have told me. He's like, I mean, you know, is there should there be a concern that like, I'm a lot more like physically active than you? Like, is that lifestyle difference going to be a problem? And I was like, you're gonna say that you can't marry me because I don't like to run. Like, I was just like, you know, um, and I think that was our biggest argument. Cause I was like, that's ridiculous. We have all these other things, but you were just being, you were being, once it got into the like, okay, do I, is this the person I want to marry? You're obviously thinking very seriously and critically about every single thing, which you should to see, are we going to match up? Well, our, our lifestyle wants going to match up in a marriage because you just have one chance to marry the right person. Um, and so like, to me, I was like, this is the dumbest, most unfair thing. Um, and, and your, your siblings, they had a point because you, you love being physically active. Yeah. Yeah. And it is night and day to me. I do it cause I have to, it's not because I want to, you do it because you love to, like you are grumpy if you don't go run like 10 miles and I, or lift, you know, and weights or whatever. I do CrossFit. Like I just could not be more different. And so I didn't, yes, we're different, but I'm like, this is a stupid thing to, to, to rule somebody out, but they just knew how much that stuff mattered to you. Like, would you be okay with that? Or would you want to marry somebody who shares all of the same fitness ideals to be like this, you know, very athletic person with you? Yeah. And going back and, and I'll be honest with you, would it have been married? Would it be, would it be nice that you're like a fricking track star? Yeah. That would be sick. Like, but you like going back to like, I knew you had everything else. And secondly, you know, you had all the attractive traits about you, quality traits, but also I knew the key ingredient that everybody should be seeking out, uh, in, in a spouse is that teachability, that learning mindset. And I knew that was a key part of who you were. And so you may not be, he thinks he's going to convince me to be a CrossFitter. No, no, you don't have to be a CrossFitter, but I'm going to get you. We're already playing pickleball. We played tennis on the honeymoon. It was not good, but we played. And we swam and paddleboard and all those things. But, um, no, you, you have, you, you understand the value of, of things and you say, you know, I'm not physically fit now, but I'm stubborn and I don't like being told what to do. I have to come to the conclusion on my own. And so you have to do a little reverse psychology with Alex. So you have to be like, man, today's an awful day to go out on a run. It's so not nice outside. And she'll be like, you should go outside on a walk. Well, yeah. And you, you have to be willing to, I think with me know that there's going to be a lot of whining and pushback with any type of physical activity or sports activity at first, which we're working on, which on the honeymoon, I whined a lot about snorkeling because I'd never snorkeled. The water was getting in my mask. My moisturizer was burning my eyes. I've never worn flippers. I couldn't figure out how to swim with them on. And you're like, you're complaining for 20 minutes. I was like, but then I did it and I had fun. And then I was like, but see, but I ended up doing it, but I just, I had to get all my gripes out. Yeah, no, you did. Yeah. And I was like, there was like 70 year old women over there having the time of their lives. I don't think they have, it's like a pretty, you know, not super complex thing to, but also the snorkeling was super fun. And I'm so grateful you did it going back to the concerns though. Um, it was, it was, they, they were valid and I, and I appreciate that's a cool, a really cool thing to have again, a strong network of people, you know, looking out on your behalf, they see and understand the gravity of a marriage covenant. And like, dude, have you thought about this? Have you thought about this? And that's so important, uh, for, for setting yourself up for success. And I'm so like, I'm not once, um, mad or, or upset that people brought their gripes, uh, or maybe, you know, concerns to me. Like I, I love that. I love that. I love that. And we should all aspire to have a community around us who knows our strengths, knows our weaknesses. So how did you end up deciding? like it's fine that she's not those things like because you were waiting yeah would this bother me how did you come to the conclusion that it would be okay to give up on that dream i talked to just other guys in my life um who knew you and knew a bit more of the context of a relationship and were married themselves yeah and we're married and they're just godly wise guys i'm like hey what do you think about this you know thing that this person brought up they're like oh yeah that's like That's certainly like good to think about. Like, but he's like, if in my marriage, if we were to go down like a listicle of all of the things that I do that are different than my wife or, or preference that my wife has over me, it's like, you're never going to be a hundred percent aligned in all of the interests and passion points that you have. And honestly, that's a cool thing because you can introduce each other to new things. You've already introduced me to a lot of different, you know, media or books or different, you know, movies that I never seen that are real, that you think are cool. And I've introduced you to different things. And that, that's what keeps a relationship interesting. I don't want to marry a female version of myself. I want to marry you as the individual. And that's what I communicated to, you know, my family and they were stoked. Like, and once that's the thing, cool thing about me. Like once I made up my mind, I'm like, yeah, no, Alex and I are getting married. They're like, let's fricking go. Like, we are your biggest supporters. We're going to be with you. We're going to, you know, provide all the support you need for the marriage ceremony itself, which they did. We'll get to, but also for, you know, giving you all the resources and support you need, whatever you need, prayers, all those good things for a successful marriage. And I'm so grateful for that. One thing that was so cool is that multiple siblings of his, including his parents while we were dating, you know, took time and money to come and visit us down here and spend quality time with us. And one of the things that really made me fall in love with your family was these are the most intentional people and best conversationalist I've ever met. Your parents are so wise and intentional with their questions. I mean, every single time Vance and I hung around his parents, I mean, they peppered us with questions about our relationship, how things going, but also your dad and your mom. Okay. What's one new thing that you guys are liking about each other since the last time we were together, you know, and, and just really, I've never dated anyone whose parents or family were so involved in making sure that you guys are dating, you know, either on the track to marriage or to break it off, to help you quickly figure out if this is not heading towards marriage, let's not waste any time. Which I really appreciated. And I think that was helpful for us in, in figuring out our, our feelings for each other. I mean, obviously we were liking each other, but it's figuring out, do we, is this my wife? Is this my husband? And so they were praying for us and your sister's just texting me like, Alex, just thinking of you heard this interview you did. And I'm just praying for you. I'm so thankful that you are dating Vance. You guys are so good together. Mostly that's Bryce. Yeah. My oldest sister. She's the best. His oldest sister. So like, just. All of that. I was like, wow, this is, this is my dream family that if I marry this guy, even though we would be living far away from the family, which is a huge downer. You know, I love Jefferson Bethke's book, taking, taking back your family. It's my favorite parenting book. And like, I love the multi-generational living and man, his family would be the family to do that with if there ever was one. And a lot of them are basically on the same property, kind of like a compound on this 50 acre hill living together. Very cult-like. Yeah. Very cult-like. Totally. Yeah. Fundamentalist. No, I'm just kidding. That's just internet rumors. But I just thought what a community to have when, you know, the realities of marriage and life and motherhood and fatherhood set in. And we're going through the thick of it. Yeah. To have these people who from the jump of our dating phase are praying for us and being intentional with us and checking in and taking time to visit. And, you know, we obviously went to go visit too, but it just meant so much. Like, wow, this family cares so much, obviously, about you. But if I marry him, they're going to care so much about me and our kids. And just like, I don't know. I don't know what else to ask for. Obviously, like I have friends whose parents are not even involved in their kid's life at all. And it's so sad and devastating. And so I, it's just something, one of thousands and thousands of things that I count my blessings on with you and your family and everything. But yeah, I mean, I'm so grateful for it too. My parents are, yeah, just the best examples. And they're so godly and diligent. As individuals, they have such robust relationships with the Lord and are continually seeking his wisdom. Then as a unit, that is multiplied. And we're just the beneficiaries of that. So then you start figuring out that you do want to propose. How did you come up with where you wanted to propose? I knew it needed to be in a cool location. And the one thing you had told me multiple times was you wanted to be surprised. And also you were like, you definitely had like a timeline where I could be sick if we had a summer wedding up in Washington, but you're like, I need to be surprised. I'm like, well, okay, you're not giving me a lot to work with here, sweetheart. But I got the ring and, you know, all those feelings you have of like walking into the ring shop, you just have like a giant smile on your face. It's just so fun. Like the whole process of pre-proposal, proposal, engagement, it's just like such a fun season. So I got the ring and I knew it needed to be surprised. And so we actually went up to Washington State for my brother's wedding up in Seattle. And I proposed after they got married. I didn't want to do it beforehand to take their thunder. That would be tacky. You know, the bride's walking down the aisle and I stand down and propose to you. I proposed Memorial Day weekend. We were taking a walk out there in Seattle. And it was like a beach, Alki Beach. And it was cloudy, which is my. Yeah, she loves the clouds. I love a cloudy, gloomy beach day. There's something about it that is so romantic to me. I'm just a melodramatic. I'm like really weird like that. I like sad music and scary movies. And I don't know. I think there's something beautiful about the melancholy aspects of life. Like, I don't know. I think sad things are beautiful. And I guess some could argue a beach that's cloudy and gloomy is kind of sad. And so I'm like, ooh, let's. It's a walk on the beach. Yeah. So I don't think, you know, you're, you're, I don't think at the time you're not thinking anything of it. We start taking the walk. Oh, also at the time, the times you had come up to the Northwest, we, you had developed some sort of allergic reaction to the Northwest. Yeah. We thought it was like in nature. Now I think it's something else, but. Yeah. Yeah. Where her eye would just swell up and she looked like Rocky Balboa and we're like, gosh, you know, she still looked beautiful, but definitely a swollen eye there. Um, and. In the morning I was going to propose, she texts me, she's like, dude, my, my eyes will, I'm like, shoot. Um, but fortunately it acquiesced and it kind of resided and went down. And then, um, we're taking a walk on the beach and I see the photographer and I'm like, oh, hey, there's my photographer. So I walked down and I propose. And again, one of those keystone, you know, pictures you'll have in, in your mind forever. I'm on one knee. I'm like, shoot, this is it. Will you marry me? Well, he had me turn around, turn around. So he's like, Ooh, this is pretty like you looking at the view. Let me get the, a picture of you from behind looking at the view, which is smart. So I was like, okay, I'm so dumb. So I'm like, sure. So, and then I turn around and he's on one knee and I mean, I like jumped 10 feet in the air. Yeah, you did. Yeah. You were like, what? Uh, just completely stunned. I'm like, yes, mission accomplished. So proposed. She said, yes. Um, and then we started wedding planning and at the time we didn't know what we wanted to do for a wedding. We had ideas. We thought about it. We thought about eloping. Um, I would say highest contender was, uh, the cliffs of more in Ireland. Yeah. Again, cloudy, gloomy, romantic, very withering Heights. Vance hates that. Um, comparison. Not the book, but the movie. Yeah. I don't hate them. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that vibe. Yeah. Yeah. Um, is I was really going for. And so, um, which you thought Ireland would be great, but then we were just like, but do we want to have our closest friends and family? Do we not? Yeah. Yeah. I think that was a cool conversation. We talked again about just what marriage is, what it means, the uniqueness. I think there are very few things left in culture and society that are, um, that are looked at with, with respect and gravity and marriage is one of those things. And so I'm like, no, I, I really want to have a ceremony that represents the uniqueness and just the momentous occasion that is marriage. So my parents. Uh, we're like, have a wedding at our house and we're so grateful for that. They had hosted one of my sister's wedding at their house. Um, and it was beautiful. And they, I think, I mean, in my opinion, they one-upped that wedding with our wedding and my, my dad in particular just spent the entire summer refining the grounds. Just, he was so on top of it with his labor, with those wildflowers, you know, every day he was, he like, he was just such. Oh, the love and care. I mean, like he's, he literally sings to the flowers. Let me tell you something. I'm not kidding. The love and care that was put into this wedding from your family is indescribable. Yeah. The, all I can do. The pictures are out now, obviously, at the time. We're putting this out with the wedding announcement and our wedding photos so you guys can see on Instagram. Literally, every single thing you're seeing in the photos of this wedding was done by his family. First of all, I'd always wanted a short engagement. So we got engaged after seven months of dating and then married after three months of engagement. And we had thought, you know, do we want more time to plan this wedding? But we knew we wanted to get married at your parents' house in Washington. And Washington is rainy, cloudy all year except the summer. And it's beautiful in the summer with clear blue skies and wildflowers and mountains and green lush grass. And so it's like if you're going to get married in Washington, unless you really do want that moody, rainy wedding, which I love a moody, rainy, but we have that for the proposal. So I wanted sun, summer. I had this vision for a elevated, formal garden party aesthetic. Naturally. And so I thought your parents' house. And it's. Yeah, it's just the most stunning property on Earth. And you can see Mount Rainier, which, of course, on our wedding, that was one thing. There was a little bit of clouds. And so you can't see Mount Rainier from our wedding photos at all, which stinks because it is there. And so that was the there's there's only three things that were like that went wrong at the wedding. I'd say that was one that the clouds were in the way that went wrong. That's not wrong. But to us, God is orchestrating the clouds. So don't say that went wrong. OK, so anyway, we didn't have the Mount Rainier view, which normally you have. Clear as day from his parents yard. But everything from the florals to table setting, design, everything was done by your family. Yeah, yeah. We didn't spend anything on florals. It was all handpicked. Yeah. From your family's gardens and friends gardens. It's literally unbelievable. Your little brother, Rudy, did my aisle flowers along with a couple of sisters. And your Aunt Leah. Yeah. And we had like nieces and nephews out there stuffing flowers. Everything was handmade, homemade. We wanted to, you know, I told everybody you have to guys in light suits, pastel suits, colorful suits, floral ties. Women should wear, you know, long, formal, floral garden party type dresses, midi or maxi dresses. Everybody, I think all of our guests were on point with the dress code. I really hammered the dress code because I had this vision of how it would look. And video and pictures and it was nailed. Totally. And I really wanted our wedding looks to be unique. I didn't want it to look like, oh, she was a 2026 bride. I wanted people to look at our wedding photos decades from now and say, like, what year did they get married? That kind of timeless or like I can't totally pinpoint based on their outfits of what decade this was. Yeah. Was kind of what I was going. I wanted this very late 80s, early 90s couture bridal, not like cheesy 80s bridal. Of course, yeah. But I wanted some of those elements in my dress. My dress was thrifted from a buy, sell, trade Utah website. The girl was awesome. I found that dress. I was looking for something exactly like that, came across it. I get this girl's number. I'm like, is this dress available? I will order it right now. She was like so confused. She's like, sure. She probably had no one. I'm that enthusiastic from the Utah buy, sell, trade mails it to me. So that's how I got my dress. And my veil was from Etsy. So I didn't. You spent way more on your. Actually, we ended up spending way more on your attire. But I also with your look, I wanted something different because we were doing this like formal garden party look. Sorry, this is my time to nerd out a little bit. Yeah. With your look, I really wanted something different. Hence the. The. Cream pants, the brown tweed jacket, different pattern, handkerchief, whatever that's called, pocket square, brown tie, brown and white striped shirt, the amber colored glasses. I really wanted something unique, having the suede brown piano loafers and all of that like that was a specific look I put together, which I was I was really proud of. I loved how your look turned out. I was like, I thought it was so sick. And I was so happy with with my dress and everything. Just all of it was exactly. In my mind since I was little, what I imagined looking like as a bride, what I imagined my wedding looking like literally straight out of like a Disney movie with the flowers and the forest. And the apple orchards and the rolling hills. I mean, just every photo that you guys see, it looks like we're in 14 different states and every photo from our wedding photos is taken on the same 50 acres. Yeah, it's it's just that's how many different like pieces of scenery and stuff that you guys have. So it was so cool for wedding photos. Yeah. And then for the the meal, we oh, we have to explain why we wanted, you know, dancing. Yeah. So this was super controversial that we chose to do for our wedding, which was mostly me. Because you love to dance. You're an amazing dancer. You can line and you can swing dance. Basically, there's nothing athletic or body movement wise that Vance sucks at, which is super annoying for me because everything body wise I suck at. So I was like, please, God, no, I I hate wedding receptions. It's I love the meal. And then I always want to leave. I don't like to dance. I'm a horrible dancer. Also, my dad is dead. I'm like, I have nobody to to to dance with, you know, for the father daughter. It's just. The whole thing. I'm just like, I don't want to do this. And so I like begged and pleaded you and you were really, really hype about it. And you were totally you signed off because I said, what if we do like a really epic, I mean, ball out like six course regenerative farm dinner instead. That's my love language. Yeah. And you were like one hundred percent sold. So we use this girl Chef Paige PDX. You can literally that's her website. Support Chef Paige. She was awesome. Absolutely chronic. Okay. So what were some of the things on the wedding menu? Yeah. No. Well, first of all, all of her ingredients were from the Pacific Northwest. Yeah. Local. Really cool. Organic. Seasonal. End of summer. So just like, you know, completely bountiful with all those. People said the peaches and whatever that salad was that you chose were the best peaches they've ever had. Yeah. Also from Washington state. Yeah. So no. We had like, you know, that amazing herbaceous salad with peaches and hazelnuts. And then we had pesto pasta with freshly made pasta. We had salmon from the Columbia River. Freshly milled flour rolls. Yeah. My sister Annie made freshly milled flour rolls. And my sister-in-law Kennedy made the most delicious butter with like prosciutto and apricots and thyme in it. It sounds strange, but like it goes so hard. It's literally the best butter anyone has ever had. It's so good. And then, yeah, we had steak and. Did you say salmon? Yeah. Salmon. Salmon. Yeah. And then we had like herb roast potatoes, green beans. Oh yeah. Those were so. Oh, gazpacho. Oh yeah. Oh, this was important to me. So the one that I was kind of like, besides no cheese, cause I hate cheese. She told me that on our first date and I was really concerned because I love cheese. Yeah. I hate, hate, hate cheese. I don't eat pizza, nothing like all the things since I was a kid. So I knew I didn't want that. But the one request I was like, please, please, please, can you make was gazpacho. Yeah. Which is like this cold cucumber tomato soup. I actually had it for the very first time only a few months ago in April for my close friend, Courtney Swan's baby shower, Real Foodology, if you follow her on Instagram. Yeah. At her baby shower, they served homemade gazpacho. And I was like, this is the greatest. I had like four cups. It was like super obnoxious. But I was like, this is the best thing I've ever had. It was so summery. You know, it's cold soup. It's so refreshing. Yeah. And so I was like, I want this to be the first course of our wedding meal. So we did that and it was served in teacups. Yeah. And I wanted the place settings to be, first of all, raw wood table, no tablecloths. We had different candlesticks and colored, we had different colored candlesticks, different sizes, all up and down the table, fresh wildflowers and moss and things all up and down the table. Chandeliers, I wanted, I had various, oh, this was the other. I would say when it came to wedding disagreements, wedding planning disagreements, one thing that I had to really fight for, because you did not understand the vision and were like, this is going to look so tacky, like, why would you do this? Is I was adamant about having chandeliers over my wood farm tables. Yeah. That each table needed to have a chandelier over. I thought it would look so epic because the tables, there were no tents or anything. It was just, it was just open in the backyard, surrounded by literally like chest high wildflowers of rainbow colors. Yeah. And then the mountain ranges and everything. And I was like, I know this will look epic. And I really fought for that. And we ended up doing it. And how do you do that? And how do you feel about it now? Yeah. Big chandelier fan. Yeah. It was epic. It was, it worked out. One unique thing that we also did was I did no bachelorette party. You did a day bachelor party trip. The reason I didn't have a bachelorette party, a few things. One, I feel like wedding events have gotten out of control and I would have loved to have had a bachelorette party. I mean, if we would have had a longer engagement and time to the wedding, like if, if we would have been engaged for a year, I probably could have done something. But me asking. Yeah. my stay at home mom, best friends, you know, who have five, six kids each to fly across the country and leave their kids. And then their, their husbands have to take off work multiple times, bridal shower, bachelorette party, and then the wedding within three months. It's like literally not even possible. I mean, not only is that unaffordable, but it's just like, it's too much time away from kids and then husbands having to take off work. And it just, it, it was just, I felt like it would be really inconsiderate of me to say, can you come, they were invited to everything, but like, I knew that, you know, like for my bridal shower, for example, I knew that they were not gonna be able to make it, but I was like, I'm sending you an invitation, but I don't expect you to come. One thing that we did do, and this was really your sister's idea, which I thought was so sweet and fun was two nights before the wedding, Vance's sisters threw me a lingerie party. And my friends who were in town for the wedding two days before, uh, were able to come and they were just the best. Your sisters, everything of course was organic homemade. Homemade chicken nuggets and ketchup and fries. And they made, um, Annie made me cheesecake, which is genuinely the best cheesecake I've ever had in my life. She has to make it again. Unfortunately, she was too good at it. So now every time I see her, I'm gonna expect this cheesecake. Um, it was literally unreal, like better than cheesecake factory. I still dream about it. And you're like cheesecake, but that's like what people know is like famous for how good it is. Okay. Listen, so, um, again, he never goes out to eat. So he's never been to chain restaurants. Um, we did do the party. That was such a blast. You decided to do a day bachelor trip with your best friends and brothers. Yeah, that was so fun. Um, my, one of my favorite things to do is to go to the Oregon coast. So took my brothers and like 10 of my good buddies. We all, all went to the beach and we did a beach volleyball tournament, which again, surfing and just swimming in the ocean. And it was a beautiful day out there on the Oregon coast, which is a rarity, but it was, such a blast and just like maximal maximum sunshine on the beach is just my love language. And so it was, it was really fun. Yeah. So that's what we ended up doing for that. And then the night before the wedding, we had this really special low key, very casual rehearsal dinner night. Um, and what we ended up doing was whoever, cause people are flying in from really far away. And so we just said, whoever is in town and would like to attend, it's not required. We're hosting, you know, this home cooked dinner. You guys can all come and eat. All of the individual kids of the families were also allowed. So that was another controversial thing. Controversy. This is really controversial for Vance's family as we decided to have a kid free wedding. And this is also apparently controversial in society in general, not just your family. This is like, this is a big hot topic on social media right now. So yeah, let's just, let's just start by saying that, um, I don't like Alex and I love children. Like we want to be the fun aunt and uncle. I think we are. I hope we are. Yeah. Um, but like we love kids. Like we're the first to hold Denise and nephews and to run around with them and to argue with them, like, and to beat them in pickleball dodge. I can still beat you in pickleball, but we wanted, you know, there are 40 grandkids now in the Votberg household, not household, but family. And so if those 40 kids were to enter the wedding equation, that just completely shifted the whole family. And so we wanted to have a kid free wedding. Yeah. So we wanted to have a kid free wedding. And so we the dynamic in the atmosphere of the wedding, so that it's essentially just another fun night at my mom and dad, grandma and grandpa's house. We also just, we could not have done the vision we wanted with the long farm tables and the chandeliers and all that, because the space to do that would have been limited to literally exactly how many tables we had. If we would have added kids into the mix. I mean, if we were to add kids into the mix, not just my siblings, kids, but your friends, kids, and you know, my other friends. We're talking about literally almost a hundred kids. Yeah. No. Yeah. Probably more like, you know, we, it would have turned into a wedding of 250 people or 300 people. And then the, we wanted like everyone to have this intentional conversation and make new friends and all this. And it just, the reality of it is when you're sitting there and it's not a dancing reception. So the kids have to be required to literally sit the whole time. It's not fun for kids. This isn't like a normal type of wedding for kids. And so that's part of it. And then, you know, the parents just naturally, it is what it is. Like when you have your kids there, you're tending to them, right? You're, you're going, you're following them around. You're doing all this. They're not even able to engage in this like intentional conversation. Like you want to. Also my siblings with kids, they all loved it. They like, Does they never get that? They never did that. There was zero resentment or like, you know, hard feelings about, I can't believe my kids can't come. They're like sick. We get to have a date night and we get to talk with our friends and our family uninterrupted with each other. And so that, it was really special for them too. Yeah. So they all like pulled in for collective babysitters or something. I don't know. I don't know how that works. And they're all alive. They're all alive. They're all alive. So it worked out. It was only a couple hours. It wasn't a long wedding. You know, it was just the whole thing was like four hours or whatever. But you were saying the rehearsal dinner the night before. Oh, but the night before is when all of the kids were allowed to come. And so I think Jane, one of my nieces forgave me because, you know, when she found out about the wedding and that there were no kids, she said, she said, um, auntie Alex, why aren't I a flower girl? And I said, well, I'm so sorry. I would have loved it, but I would have had to have like 30 flower girls. And it's just this whole thing. Jane has come about, come around. Yeah. She's come around because now she's seen my wedding photos and her mom told me that she said, um, auntie Alex's wedding dress is the most beautiful dress or something like that. So, um, that's good. No hard feelings between Jane and auntie Alex. Yeah. So we've, we've resolved. So I think I'm forgiven, but we did invite all of the kids. We really wanted, especially my family and friends who've never experienced the Vopurg family or met your family before to see the circus of the Vopurgs. And it's so fun. And they're normal kids, but they are so well-behaved. Like these are the most precious children ever. Um, and we wanted them to perform because all of the kids play instruments as well as the adults. And so every family got up and saying whatever their family like song prayer is. So, you know, ours is we love our bread. We love our bread. I'm kidding. But most of all, we love each other. That's not a real, it's obviously not a prayer, but it's the same. Um, so like every family though has something they taught their kids of like what you say, uh, before you eat. And so before we ate every family performed that. And then, um, they also got up and just did individual family performances. So they planned a song or two, uh, Lilia's family did baby Beluga, which was my request because I showed their kids, uh, they have five girls in that family. And I showed, um, your sister's kids, baby Beluga. It's one of my favorite kids songs. So they're obsessed. They have the baby Beluga books and the plushies. And so then they also learned how to do baby Beluga on the fiddle. And so they sang and did fiddle to that, uh, which was for me. Which was so cute. And, um, yeah, everybody did different songs and it was incredible. And my family and friends were blown away. Like everybody had their phones out, like filming, like this, this is the craziest thing I've ever seen. And then, um, we had an amazing, just Holy spirit filled worship session with some of your friends. Yeah. So that was so cool. My buddies, Bradley and Anson, who've, I played, I've played a lot of music with all over the country and we've led worship at a variety of places. So it was really meaningful and special to have that evening with them where Bradley led Anson played the keys and I played the fiddle and we all sang some worship songs together. And so, yeah, it was, it was just a really special evening. My friends and family were all crying. They all said like, I have never experienced worship like that. And again, when you see the photos, which I'll have to do so many different photo carousels of like the night before the day of and the wedding and then the honeymoon and there's a million things. I don't know how it's all going to come out on social media as we're posting this. So you've seen some things, but I got to post more. But, you know, this environment and location on the hill, it really does feel like you're in heaven. And so the literal environment, as well as just the Holy spirit and, and the worship just made it tenfold. It was just the most beautiful weekend of my life. So everybody loved that. So during the ceremony, I, my whole life, I knew that I'm either, if I'm going to have dancing at my wedding. This is my first dance song, or I want to walk down the aisle to you are in love by Taylor Swift. It is my number one, favorite Taylor Swift song. Every time I hear it, I cry. I think it is the greatest love song ever. It's just, it's, it's my love song. And so one really special thing is because your family is so musical. We had a whole live orchestra basically. Yeah, not quite, but yeah, like five or three violins, maybe a cello, my brother on the standup bass as well. Synth. Yeah. Then my piano teacher, Jennifer played the synth, like emulated that song to perfection. And then our good friend, Emily Otteson, sang the song and she's a singer songwriter in Nashville. She's so talented, so beautifully. And it was, it was such an epic, epic moment when you came down the aisle, cause you looked radiant. We didn't do a first look until, Oh, that was another choice. Yeah. Yeah. So I wanted everything so traditional. I do not believe in first looks. I think. I think part of the magic of your wedding day is that walking down the aisle and your husband sees you for the first time. That is to me, like, that's, that's like fairytale Cinderella movies. Like you have to see each other when you're walking down the aisle. So I was very adamant. We cannot do first look. And he, I had to be sequestered the whole day. He was not allowed to be anywhere on the property. I was like very strict about all of that stuff. So we don't accidentally see each other. We had your brother, Elisha marry us. My brother Elisha married us. And it was so, so special again, just, uh, throughout the wedding, you know, obviously beautiful, but again, just really meaningful that my brother was able to marry us. He made it very gospel centered and just, we really wanted people, everybody there to hear the gospel and to understand marriage in light of the gospel. And Elisha, who officiated us, did an excellent job of that and just made it really meaningful and I think God honoring. What did you think when you saw me walking down the aisle? I didn't know what to think. It was just like, I had so many thoughts. It was all just so surreal being in the front yard that I played growing up, seeing you walk down the aisle. It's like, yeah, that is my wife and you looked so beautiful and I was just overcome with joy and all of the emotions, all the good emotions. It was quite an awesome. Did you cry? I didn't cry, but I teared up. And then you did tear up again at what other part? When you were saying your vows. It's again, just one of those like, gosh, this is happening. This is amazing. And when you say those vows, it's just, you feel the gravity and just the depth of it all. And it's just really cool. And it is also was emotional too, just not having your father there again, to not walk you down the aisle. Oh yeah, I walked myself down the aisle. I chose to walk myself. I did have little like rhinestones that are the color of my dad's birthstone, like hammered into the soles of my shoes. So it'd be like, he's walking with me. I also had a heart cut out of one of my dad's t-shirts sewn on the inside of my dress. That was super special. And then I also had pocket sewn into my dress just so I could have my Primally Pure lip balm with me. I have a really funny video. 'Cause of course, Bethany, the founder of Primally Pure is there. She's such a dear friend, along with Alison Evans of Branch Basics and Taylor Dukes. Just we've all become like, and Kelly Love of Branch Basics. We've all become super, super close friends, like in real life. So they were there. And so I have a funny video of me showing, I'm like, "Bethany, look." And I like show her my secret pocket I made just for that. 'Cause I cannot live without it. I have to like touch up. Throughout the day, I knew I'd die without it. So we had those pockets put in. And then what is it called when you walk, what your exit song to walking down the aisle? - "Recessional." - Your "Recessional." - Yeah. - We chose "End Game" by Taylor Dukes. - By Taylor Swift. - Yeah. Big reputation. - Yeah. Which we thought was fun. - Yeah. - And then during the dinner, a fun aspect in lieu of dancing and whatever, we still had music. You had an epic wedding playlist that you spent hours on. - Okay. So I just give me the soap box for a second. Playlist, make or break an environment. And so you can have a playlist that enhances the environment or one that completely sucks the life and energy and joy out of an environment. And so it was really important. And there's an art to a playlist. And so I spent hours curating and refining my playlist. So there was a natural flow progression, some soft moments, some nostalgic songs, some new songs, some songs that were meaningful to us, but you have to have the classics in there. So I made a great playlist. Maybe we'll share it if you guys are lucky. - I've really been begging him. I'm like, we should put it in the show notes, like share our playlist. And he was like, no, this is special to me. So I'm trying to convince him if you guys want him to share our wedding playlist that we just had while people, we're eating dinner, tell us in the comments, we want the playlist or else just say that or else. - Or else. - Yeah. - They're coming for me. - Yeah. - No, so it was, yeah. And then at the reception, I think is what you were gonna say. I was able to play some music, some fiddle songs with my siblings. We all grew up playing fiddle. And that was again, just another really special moment. We played some original songs that me and my sister wrote. We played some really fun fiddle songs. Alex was like, play some ripping fiddle songs. She's like, if you know, I want devil went down to Georgia, played at my wedding and I'm like. - The way that he scoffed. Like if Vance had a monocle, like that would be the moment that the monocle like falls out of your eye and you're like, you're like dead face. Like, are you kidding me? Like you're so beneath me was me saying, can we do devil went down to Georgia? But I am not, listen, I'm being immersed in the fiddle world for the first time ever. And like, when I think fiddle as most like low info fiddle Americans do, we think when the devil went down, - Yeah. - To Georgia, like how fun that is and how fast it is. And so what I wanted was like fast, fun. - Yeah. - Fiddle I thought would be like a blast. - Yeah. And we did, we, we executed that, but I had to maintain some musical integrity. - Yeah. So he said, no. - No devil went down to Georgia. - This is one of those times putting the foot down and saying no to me. - Yeah, exactly. Not gonna happen. But we played some fun fiddle tunes. That was really special. Then we ate delicious dinner. Oh, the last thing we, not the last thing, but one other thing we do need to say is that we had tiramisu teacups as well. And my sister Lolia made these tiramisu teacups and most lady finger cookies are made with seed oils. We couldn't find any that were not made with canola oil. So Lolia out of the goodness of her heart made seed oil free lady finger cookies. - Homemade. - Homemade. And she used those for tiramisu with coffee from our coffee shop. - And she did, she, one of your cousins knows 3D printing, made like a little VNA stencil so that she could do the, what is that? Like coffee dust? - Yeah. - Or cocoa dust or something? - Cocoa dust, yeah. - On top of the tiramisu. So it would say VNA on it. It was literally stunning. - Yeah, it was really awesome. - And that was so cool. So we had Annie's rolls, freshly made flour rolls. And then we had sister Lolia's tiramisu and then Kennedy's sister-in-law's butter that we served. And then the rest was Chef Paige PDX. - So good. - And then. - The dinner itself was cool too, because I think some of our love, one of our love languages together is connecting people. And, you know, introducing friends from my circle, friends from your circle to each other. And we're like, oh, we know Jenny's gonna love Katie and Katie's gonna love Michael and my, you know, all those things. So it was really fun to sit our closest friends with one another so they could connect and talk shop about their different passion points. - Yeah, so we had a lot of fun. It was painstaking, but it was also fun trying to do the puzzle of, I think that was the hardest thing for me with the wedding planning. - Yeah. - Figuring out the seating chart, like nobody told me how hard that is. - Yeah. - 'Cause you gotta think, from all directions, across from the person, the left of the person, the right to the person, and fitting their spouse in. - How are the vibes gonna be? Is it gonna be a good conversation? And we really wanted people to make friends and then just meet new people that they would get along with. Now, speaking of the dinner, one of the things that I was the most excited for was our gift to our guests, which we really wanted to do something epic. We wanted it to be true to us. And one thing that happened, this is a true story, the first time that I ever visited Vogtberg Hill and met your family, I said to you, 'cause I hadn't really been to the Pacific Northwest before, a little bit in Portland, but I just hadn't been like in the mountains. And so I said, this is the freshest air I've ever breathed. Like I couldn't get over it. How good it felt to take a deep breath with this fresh mountain air and the forest and the trees, and there's just nothing like it. And so we decided, we decided to gift all of our guests a jasper and it was shipped like as they were at the wedding overnighted so that it would get there right when they got home. And so that was something that we were excited to do. Just you and I, I mean, we have jaspers all over our place and I've gotten you fully, fully indoctrinated on it. - Yeah, and come to think of it, we were just connecting with one of our attendees and she said that, this is not like made up, she said her mother-in-law who comes over to her house, they have dogs in her house. So when her mother-in-law comes over, her mother-in-law will get like super bad hives and just be super scratchy because of the dogs. - Major, major allergic reaction, scratching so much her face will bleed, she said. - But she said when she added the jasper air purifier, she no longer has those allergies. She comes over and she's like, wait, what's different? - Yeah, so the mother-in-law comes over and then our friend was like, did you take a Benadryl today? Or how come you're not reacting? And I was like, no, I didn't. And then they realized it's because she has the jasper in the house now. - Yeah, that thing is just cranking out, pulling all of the toxins and gross things out of the air, making it as fresh as the Pacific Northwest. - So the way we surprised the guests was really cool. So first of all, I had a little Redmond salt at each table, my mini ones that I love to keep in my purse. I was like, everybody has to have their salt. We had our, is it taste plants? - Yeah, taste plant mints. - Our favorite mints, they're super clean and literally the best tasting mints. It's not like typical mint flavor. It's not like peppermint or whatever. It's like cardamom and I don't know what, but it's delicious. And so we had our favorite mints at each place setting. You can look those up online. And then, oh, we had wildflower seeds at each place setting. And then I had this envelope and it said, do not open. And it was a teeny tiny mini envelope. And so nobody opened it. And so I said, you guys have an envelope at your seat that says, do not open. So go ahead and open them. - Mm-hmm. - I'm really patient and everybody's opening them. And I'm seeing them like, look, dump them out, searching. And the envelopes were empty. And I said, you're probably wondering why your envelope is empty. It's filled with air. And I told them about how my favorite thing about visiting your family is the fresh air, mountain air. And so I wanted everybody to be able to take that air home with them and that when they got home, they would all have a Jasper. And so everybody was just like blown away. I was dropped. I'm still getting text messages like, that is the coolest wedding gift I've ever received. Nothing will top it. just it's already changing my family's life. My husband isn't snoring. Like just all of the success stories that I hear all the time from listeners that have had a Jasper. It was cool to get to gift our family and friends that. I mean, yeah, and it's cool. Me as independently, I'm so pretty anti like health devices and gadgets. I've never gone on train. Like I think those shaker things that vibrate your lymph. I like, like that's a complete sham. Like just do a cartwheel type situation. Like I just am not into really any of those gadgets. However, I will say Jasper air purifiers, just what they are able to do in a room, people who live in cities, like if you're in New York city or if you're in, like we're in Phoenix, which has notorious bad air because of the dust and all the car pollution. But that thing comes into your home and it makes a house smell like the Pacific Northwest. And it really does have really cool, really cool, proven health benefits. So we're so grateful for Jasper and you know, what their generosity for us. And so we could be generous to others. This is genuinely my number one beauty addiction right now. And if you've ever seen me with no makeup on, but my skin somehow looks alive, it is because I am using Primally Pure's Plumping Serum. I love that Primally Pure's whole philosophy is really rooted in fewer, better ingredients and products that nourish your skin. Instead of covering it up, I have become way more, more ingredient conscious over the last few years, especially with products that I use every single morning. I like knowing that those formulas are free from synthetic fragrance, PFAS, and a lot of filler ingredients that you see in conventional beauty. The serum itself is really unique. It has this really faint orange tint from astaxanthin, which is one of nature's powerful antioxidants. It gives my bare skin the tiniest bit of warmth and color, almost like I've been outside for a little while, instead of looking washed out. I really appreciate that so much because I don't always want to look like I'm wearing, like I'm wearing a mask. I don't want to look like I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. I'm wearing a mask. and I had a big, I got a big, just married ribbon on the back of the car. That was also like something that's like very traditional. Like I really wanted. Um, and so we left, we went to our non-toxic hotel, which also Taylor Dukes and Bethany, uh, and, and Alison and Kelly were all staying in, which was hilarious. Different rooms. Yeah. Different rooms. Um, but they were like, Hey, we can come check on you if you want. Um, but they were checking in when we were checking in in the lobby. So it's cute. I'll have to share it. Um, it may be in my honeymoon carousel is, uh, on Instagram is like us in the lobby, like checking into our room after the wedding. It's just cute. We look really cute and excited. Um, and so that was it. We, yeah, we, um, left the next morning for honeymoon. That was another traditional thing I wanted. I don't, and I understand people are going to come for me for this and say, this is so mean. You don't know my circumstance. I'm just saying if you can, yeah, it's your opinion. Yeah. I think there's something really special to try to immediately. Leave for your honeymoon after the wedding. I know that a lot of people are waiting cause they want to do this epic honeymoon. So what they're doing is they're waiting like years, like two years or six months or five years before they actually do a proper honeymoon. And I'm like, I, I just, I'm of the opinion, whether it's a, a huge expensive honeymoon or even you just stay in the same town or city, you know, for a couple of nights at a nice hotel, whatever it is that's in your budget or road tripping or whatever. I think leaving immediately on your honeymoon. It just, there's something magical. I think it's so important to think about that, to start your marriage and having that time and not immediately rushing back into real life. We were able to do a 10 day honeymoon. Bora Bora. That was so fun. We went to French Polynesia. Neither of us had ever been, I've never really been anywhere. You've been a lot of places. I've only been to Mexico and Anguilla. Yeah. Yeah. No, went to Bora Bora where the waters were just crystal clear. The sun was shining. Turquoise, mint water. Yeah. It was, it was trippy. It was like the, the screensavers you see on Microsoft. You're like, is that place real or is it not real? Turns out it's real. And it was just the most beautiful time ever. We got a lot of fun sunshine and snorkeling as we talked about earlier, paddle boarding and good food that, you know, the, the food there is French. And so Alex loves French food. So there was some French inspired food and seafood and seafood, a lot of seafood, a lot of heavy metal seafood. But it was, yeah. And I got to exercise a lot and it was such a blast. That was a killer. So we ended up using Polished Luxury Travel, which is really a, it's a boutique travel agency and they're word of mouth only. So I can't even direct you to like an Instagram or website or anything. So I can give you an email and we'll put that in the show notes. And then if you guys are looking for a travel agent, whether it's a family vacation or your honeymoon or whatever, I, the, the amount of detail and just planning ahead that was done for us, we didn't even have to check into our flights. Yeah, no, it was, yeah, they, I don't know how. It was crazy. It was crazy. They, they checked, she checked into our flights for us. They had drivers. They're like, it was just the easiest thing. We did not have to lift a fricking finger. It was unreal. And so we wanted to do this French Polynesia thing. And, and, and, you know, there was definitely a lot of money that was saved on our wedding because it was at the house you grew up in, you know, we didn't have to pay like a, you know, a venue fee or anything like that. And so one thing that I said, I said, I want us to just go like balls to the wall. I want the best of the best. Like we should, we should really like just make the most of it. Like really make this like special. And so we stayed at the, we did 10 days in French Polynesia. We split it in half between two resorts. We did the St. Regis in Bora Bora. And then we went to a private island and we stayed at, it's called the Brando Resort. It's like Marlon Brando's. Yeah. Marlon Brando's private island that has now been converted into this luxury resort. Also in French Polynesia, like. A little bit away. And so that's how we split it up. And I mean, I don't know. Yeah, it was such a dream. It was just from the people that worked at the resorts, the, the hospitality and customer service was out of this world. And at one point the travel agent checked in was like, well, how are things going? Do you need anything? And I said, well, the only complaint we have is at the second resort at the Brando at St. Regis. They had everything. Every single app on the TV. So you could watch anything you want to do. And, and obviously we're not on our honeymoon watching tons of TV, but at night Vance and I love to watch a show or a movie like right before we go to bed. Like it's just, we've just, we really enjoy that on our honeymoon. And so, um, we missed that at the second resort. Cause at night it was like, there was nothing to do. The TV that they had had, um, only like French television on it, or you could log into Comcast, your cable and then watch stuff that way. But we don't have cable. So like we only have apps. We, there was nothing we could do. Um, anyway, so this is like such first world problems, but she said, is everything going well? And I said, well, the only thing is, uh, we are obsessed with this resort. It's like even, I didn't think anything could be better than the St. Regis. This is even better. Um, and so I was like, but we missed this. And so she like, it was like, okay. And then like, I don't know, 20 minutes later, we get a knock on the door and it's this guy with an Apple TV and he's just installing an Apple TV. For us. So then we had our shows at night, which is so cool. And I made you watch pen 15. Cause I said, you're marrying a millennial. You got to know what it was like for me in middle school. Yeah. Yeah. So now I know. So now he knows. Um, but at the Brando, I mean, this place like Leonardo DiCaprio has stayed there, I guess. And, um, what the heck is her face? Barack Obama. Barack Obama wrote his book there, but, um, Margot Robbie has stayed there. So it's, it's a celebrity frequent hotspot. And we had this stunning. Founder of running on butter fit for the founder of running on butter, obviously true celebrity. And we had this gorgeous bungalow with our own private beach, private pool, private hammock deck. Like nobody could see us. It was like, it was genuinely like we had the entire island to ourselves. There was only like 40 people on the whole resort. So literally it felt like we had a private island to ourselves. So yeah, there's, there's nothing really, the pictures speak for themselves. Obviously we have our lovely French Polynesian tans going on. Um, and that's really all I, all I can say. There's so much I could say, but there's not a lot I should say. So that's pretty much it. Um, I guess now let's wrap with just what's next. What are our hopes and dreams and, um, yeah, what we're focused on next as we, as we begin marriage together. I'm so excited for that because the covenant of marriage is so special. And the fact that we get to join as a force and join in that covenant is, is really cool. So I just want it to be. We would love to build a family and to raise some butter babies, um, as soon as possible. And then people always ask how many kids we want to have 15. Um, no, I think, I think sincerely, whatever the Lord provides. I mean, if it's 10 kids, it's 10 kids. If it's, if it's two, it's two. It's just, it's, I, I'm not putting a limit on it. And, um, you know, I'm 33. So it's like, I only have. We have probably a 10 year window. So however many kids I can have in the next decade, basically, and we have IVF too. No, we don't. That's a joke. We're anti IVF. Um, so anyway, yeah, it's just, it's whatever. And so just be praying for us as we, yeah, one start marriage, um, and just whatever you guys have more wisdom than us on this. So you married people, whatever you think, Hey, I remember my first year. I needed, I need prayer for this. So just be praying for us as we do that. And then hopefully, um, soon I'll be back saying I'm pregnant, but you know, uh, we're working on it. We're both. Yeah. I feel like that's where I am. Okay. I feel like I lean towards reformed theology. I definitely prefer reformed churches, but I would say I still, I wouldn't say like I'm gung ho Calvinist. Yeah. There, I don't know. I don't know. It's very, it's, it's, there's a special word they call it. Somebody in the comments will know what it is. There's a fun word that somebody made up of where you're like in the middle of that. That's what I am. Yeah. No. And I would, don't you say that you're the same? I think so. Yeah. No. Like we go to a very reformed church. Where they like definitely remind you of your insufficiency and your sinfulness, like every three seconds. Oh, they'll call you out. Yeah. And it's awesome. Like literally in front of everybody. No, no. We go to a really awesome church that loves the Lord and they're so gracious and really great teaching and awesome people. The biblical literacy rate of that church is insane. So grateful for that church here in Phoenix. Um, but yeah, personally, I lean definitely towards the sovereignty of God. Obviously he predestined us all. that is, you know, indisputable, but. What is also just an interesting fact is that we all have a free will. We all are making decisions on a daily basis. The question then goes to, did God allow you to make that decision? So whatever, it's splitting. Whatever that is, that's what we are. No, so it's just an interesting conversation. I think that we know, and I love a lot of people with a lot of different theologies, but who all are committed to allowing the gospel to shape their lives. What is your hottest theology take? I think my hottest theology take is that I'm not like hell bent on, you should not be going to a charismatic church or you should be going to a charismatic church. Like I'm just like, they need to, like the beauty of the body of Christ is the fact that it's a body. There's all these different parts to the body. And so there's going to be diversity in the body. And that's a really wholesome thing when it's centralized around the gospel. And he's a big Joel Webben fan. No, I'm not. I do not like Joel Webben. No, he's problematic. I'm kidding. No. Yeah. So we have a really awesome church. We're so grateful for a lot of godly people pouring into us. What's next for culture apothecary running on butter? This has been a corporate sort of acquisition. Are we merging? Is Vance taking over? Yeah. I'm going to dominate culture apothecary. My plan has worked. Yeah. So here's the thing. And maybe this is, I don't know why this is like so controversial. Like people's heads explode over this. And I, and I guess I just, I don't think, I don't know. I don't think people understand the nature of this job of when people get bent out of shape because they're like, well, how can you guys be talking about the importance of a woman prioritizing the home? And then you're still working outside of the home. Okay. Let me, let me just say this. Can I just say something really quick? Sure. The fact that you're commenting on social media is proof to me that your priorities are misaligned. The fact that that is taking so much mental capacity away from your own household says to me that maybe you should reprioritize. Facts. But a lot of people get very confused about this and they try to use it as some kind of gotcha. Here's what's happening with the show as I, you know, hopefully now I'm married and then having kids. I'm not going to say never, or I don't know. I don't know what could happen. I could hold my baby and then say like, I can't ever work again. I don't know. Yeah. Right now. I think we both feel like this is where God wants me to be. And I'm able to invite such incredible experts and theologians and doctors and leaders on the show. And, and give people free, helpful, life-changing, culture-shaking, shifting information. I mean, literally the attorney general of Texas has had people listen to my show and then they like enact lawsuits based on what they've heard on the show. It's so cool. I know. You know, we've, we've, we've helped kill ultra processed food and school lunches in multiple states. Like there's just so many things that the show, the opportunities that the show has brought that had the, the good that it has done for the kingdom is just, I can't even it's immeasurable. It is. And I'm fully on board with that as an individual, as that's something that's so cool about us as, as a unit, but as individuals, like we both want to fricking take down bear and their control over, over, you know, the American way of life and the way they are just infiltrated the government. We both want to allow people to think freely about their medical decisions and give people all the necessary information they can make to make the best medical and health decisions for themselves and for their kids and for their parents. And so we both like strongly believe that as individuals, we want to expose corruption and, you know, bring solutions to, to problems that every American is facing. So as a unit, like it's only going to be multiplied significantly. Yeah. And so look, my plan is to do this show while I, while I have kids that could change, obviously as of now, as long as I can. As long as I don't feel like my, my wifely duties, you know, at the, at that point, my, my motherhood duties are slipping because I can't handle or juggle it all. Then we reassess and you would be the first to call that out. Well, we, I think we both would. I think, you know, again, it's all about constantly reevaluating what the priorities are, right? Your relationship with God, your relationship with your spouse, your relationship with your family, with your community. And if any of those get misaligned, then obviously your work. Below that, but if, if those get misaligned, that's when we're going to be reevaluating and say, Hey, something has to change here. We got to reevaluate. We have to, we have to make sure the priorities are the priorities. And that's something that everybody has to do, whether you're working or not. Yep. And so I think we, we just got to be constantly reflecting and, and I think we have all the tools to do that. And, and look, I have a, I have an amazing, incredible team. I've got two girls that run social media for me, sometimes three, if there's an intern. We have. Shout out to Caroline. Shout out Caroline and Ashley. And then also we have, you know, I have an executive assistant that's running my personal life and professional life. I've, we have multiple editors, videographers, a booker, a show booker. Like there's, you know, so many people helping on this show. It's not like it's up to only there's, well, first of all, if it was up to me, it wouldn't exist. Yeah. It wouldn't even exist. But we have this amazing team. And so, you know, it's easy for me at that point in my life to, to be like, Hey, I'm like, keep me in just the need to know basis. I need to show up. I need to record, you know, pop in for meetings, whatever, but like you guys got it. And with that comes more responsibility and pay raises and all that for them because their plates will be fuller. But the show really should at this point be a well-oiled machine. And so, you know, for me to just be like, Hey, I want to dedicate four days a month. And on those four days a month, I come in and I film, you know, three interviews each or four. Four interviews each. It's like, dude, that's the beauty of what's really cool about this job. And then, you know, you and I together can assess different speaking requests that I have that come in, travel, like all of that will also be adjusted to suit our family life first and making sure, you know, is this worth it for us as a family? Are we going to say yes? Are we going to say no? And then decide together. And so, yeah, I mean, Ali Stuckey does similar stuff and her husband's heavily involved. I mean, as far as your involvement in the show, you guys will have to let us know if you, if what you think about Vance and if you, if we should have him on occasionally. I'd love for you to pop on. Yeah, I'm up to it, but I don't have like an aspiration to kick you out of your seat. Yeah, no, definitely not. He much prefers writing on running on butter, but like, I think occasionally it'd be fun for you to pop on if we do like a short episode on some special topic we're fired up about or whatever. Otherwise, like your input on the show, I mean, you have opinions on like this thumbnail, isn't right, or we should change the title. Like I said, we've interviewed a bunch of the same people. And so when I find somebody, I'm like, dude, you got to have this person on. You've submitted tons of guests for the show. So it's just like very, very synergy, very collective mindset when it comes to what we want to produce on the show. It's cool. So, I mean, as far as you guys are concerned, like nothing is going to change for you based on me getting married. And then at least for now, but if it does, I'm the first to tell you, we do have exciting things. I don't know if a few people have picked up. But in the last month or so of episodes, you may have noticed that, you know, I've talked more. Obviously, this was a really personal episode. It's not like we're going to do this all the time, two hours or whatever it's been. But I am going to kind of chime in more on episodes and share more of my opinions and what I think, because, you know, for the first two years of doing Culture Apothecary, I was really learning alongside you guys. Like I didn't know anything. And so I'm inviting these experts. I'm like, teach me everything about health. And so now it's been two years and I'm still I'm not an expert, but I definitely have developed some of my own routines, habits, opinions on some of the stuff I learn. And so I feel like I'm at a place now I can I can kind of share more. And so we want to do that in one way. Not only within interviews, am I going to share more about my thoughts, but also we're going to be implementing some solo episodes of just me to you. A little. Just sit down, chat, like, let's just, yeah, go off about certain topics. And so we're going to be implementing that soon. So that'll just be it's not a set time or day. It's just when it happens, it happens. And so you guys can can look forward to those when those happen, which will be very soon. So that's really all I have. Are you going to ask me your any question? Oh, yeah. Well, first of all, where can people find you on social media? They can't. So you can follow me on my website, my sub stack. It's called running on butter, running on butter dot com, where I write on all things health and nutrition. It's a really fun website. I try to keep it light and fun and easy to read. I ask every guest this who comes on the show. OK. Mm hmm. And the question is, if you could offer one remedy to heal a sick culture physically, emotionally or spiritually, what would it be? You know, I've thought about this answer for years now because I've been scheming to sit down in this chair. No, and the truth is, it does change quite often, depending on what I'm reading or who I'm listening to. Oh, me too. Yeah. But in light of this conversation and of our new season in life, I would say find yourself a godly wife or if you're a girl, find yourself a godly husband and get married and get married. I love that. I love it. I love you. Thank you for divulging your very profound private person i think it's it's kind of funny that we ended up together and that you were so sure of me because you you are very private like you have no social media like we said and um so my world is a little bit different um than yours and so uh i knew that i wanted to do this big episode and just kind of lay it all out there i know everybody has so many questions and um we just wanted to go through the whole thing so now everybody's caught up and you know i mean that's literally i've we've shared literally everything there's really nothing else so um yeah i'm looking forward to life with you and to our kids in the future who watch this one day hi we love you yeah no we're so excited uh i'm so excited for us and grateful i love you love you new episodes come out every monday and thursday at 6 p.m pacific 9 p.m eastern wherever you get your podcasts and you can follow us on instagram at culture apothecary you me at real alex clark you can continue the conversation in the cute servitors facebook page i'm alex votberg and this is culture apothecary