The podcast explores personal and social dynamics around relationships, emotional boundaries, and public behavior. The host shares a painful experience of feeling defensive when friends react negatively to her social media posts about her life choices, highlighting how such reactions can feel like judgment. A major theme centers on toxic male behavior—publicly belittling or disrespecting partners—which the host finds deeply offensive and damaging, noting how it erodes self-worth and leads to internalized shame. She explains that such behavior is often normalized in relationships, especially in media portrayals like reality TV, and can be deeply internalized by women over time. The host emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, documenting incidents, and having clear examples when addressing harmful dynamics, rather than reacting emotionally or defensively. She also discusses her personal take on spicy food, viewing the enjoyment of extreme heat as a psychological response tied to dopamine and the thrill of discomfort, contrasting it with her own discomfort. The episode concludes with a strong call for accountability, respect, and emotional safety—especially in public spaces—where people should not be disrespected or put in their place. The host advocates for recognizing toxic patterns, protecting one’s mental well-being, and prioritizing relationships built on mutual respect over appearances or convenience. Ultimately, it underscores the need for self-awareness, boundary-setting, and the courage to confront harmful dynamics in both personal and social contexts.
- The behavior of you shared this with your friends and now your friends don't like this person and they're like coming at you and you snap into this like defensive mode. You almost feel like you're judging me for having chosen the person. - Yeah, yeah. (upbeat music) - This podcast is a dear media production. - Hi guys. - Hi guys. - Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. - Raina just revealed to me she's been making her own calamari. That is so high level with the Kitchen Sync app. I'm assuming calamari with the Kitchen Sync app. Download it on the app store. What are you saying? - I mean, I really like poached calamari, which a lot of people don't like they like grilled or fried. Obviously, but I like it just like dropped in salted lemon water, taken out. - It's a raw dog. - You drop it in for 60 seconds. It's cooked and you slice it into like the rings. I like tentacles too. And I mix it up with like sun dried tomato oil and sun dried tomatoes and some olives. And I just like eat it throughout the week. It's a nice snack in my fridge. - Okay, yeah, you are a calamari purist love. So you're not frying it at home. - No, I would grow and sear it a little bit if I had to, but not for this recipe. And it's cheap. It's $10 a pound. - Just a little bit. - Just a little bit. - Right now? This week, the calamari. - This week it will cost calamari's cheap right now. - Gas expensive calamari. - Calvari's cheap, I've been doing that. I've been making like crab salad and shrimp salad. I've just been like cooking at home. - Santa Monica first go. - And then I go to Whole Foods. - Okay, just making the rail. - Oh shrimp, grilled shrimp. - That's so wholesome. - That's what I've been up to. Also, I have to tell you something. Well, should we thank our partners? - Yeah, 'cause I have a food thing too. - Okay, okay. Thank you to RocketMoney. Reach your financial goals faster at rocketmoney.com/ge and it's Shopify. See how easy it is to start your own business at Shopify.com/ge. - And thank you to Revolve. I get 15% of your first order at revolve.com/ge with code gge and the testaments. Watch the new Hulu original series of testaments premiering April 8th on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Okay, we're gonna get into it, but I just wanna take a moment to remind you guys. We have a show here on May 7th in LA with the Netflix is a joke festival at the Palace Theater. It's a Thursday night. We are so excited. It is the only show we have together planned on the books, who's to say, but this is your chance to see us do our iconic girls got each show here in LA. So such fun things planned. I have a call this week to lock in some stuff. I'm so excited. - I'm so excited. - And if you guys have never been to a girls got each show, it is just the best night. Bring your girlfriends, bring your partner, bring your mom. - Bring your girlfriend. - Mostly bring your girlfriends and your grandma. But it's just the most positive, fun, uplifting, beautiful vibe in that room. I miss it so much. - No. - I'm loving my tour and it's really wonderful. But like I'm on stage and I'm like, man, I miss being on stage with you. I miss the energy of just the strippers and the cryo and the t-shirt guns and all of it. I have loved every minute of it, but I told you that it's really made me appreciate what we do more. - Yeah, and I mean, I understand. Like I love my solo career too. Just like you do, but there's nothing more fun than what we do together. - Okay, not wait to shoot a t-shirt gun, right? You just set it. I'm just like, cannot wait to fill the room. - I art if you want it. - You just missed it. - So get those tickets. We just cannot wait beautiful theater and make a night of it. And there are so many different shows that week. Obviously, just take a look at the lineup after you get a ticket star show. And we can't wait to see you guys again. It is really what we need right now. You know, the show is truly so fun, hilarious. You'll laugh until you cry. We keep everything really light. And you just can forget about the outside world for two hours, 90 minutes. And we can't wait to see you guys there. So tickets are gonna be at girlsgottae.com. Just go to our website, live shows, and the ticket link will be right there. Or if you're on the Netflix, this is a joke. Website, we're there too. Just search girls, gotta eat. How are you gonna do it? - Yeah. - Same to be linked. - Seven p.m., nice and early. So that we can be bed by 9.30. - Yeah. - And dinner after. - You may. - Downtown. - Yeah. - Well, friends there and stuff. (laughing) - You guys can be a bed by 9.30. - So you and me? - You and me? (laughing) I mean, other people like we usually can't be doing it. - No, we can't do it. I'm glad you brought this up. I'm gonna circle back to this as well. - Oh god. - So May 7th, Palacit or 7 p.m. Girlsgottae.com, we'll see you guys there. It will be so much fun. And I told you, I did something so brave yesterday. - What? - I mean, the bravest thing that a woman can do. So I got my nails painted and I tried different color. And I've been like looking at the color you have. And it's like a really nice, just, it's like the bubble bunny. - No, this is, this is a OPI Let's Be Friends, which I do a whole bit about. - That color is? - Yeah. - Oh, okay, so I really like that. And I was like, I only do red or white. And I just wanted something in between. And so I got this nail color. And it was like, look at a little fleshy. And I was like, I don't like it. And I wanted to be like, yours is leaning like, yeah, not fleshy looking. - I know. - And so I texted my nail girl yesterday and I was like, can we change the color? - To come back. - Oh, you left. - I left. - And you went back. - Three days went by. - And I texted her and I was like, can I change the nail color? And she was like, if you can come right now, we can change it. And I was like, I'll be there in 10 minutes. And she put a coat of white on top of it. And now I hate it. - Oh my God. - Wait, you didn't take it off completely. She just went white on top. - She had to buff off the top layer. So like it did include some work. She had to buff her off the clear and put this on and I hate it. - What's so white? - It is like white out nails. - I want your color. - I know. - I should have asked you what you did. But when I got the gold nails and then I had her come back to change them and I still was just like, I don't like them. - Yeah, that's how it goes. - That's the worst. Like when you have done a nail change and you still don't like it. - I feel like I, I mean, I like white in the summer. But now I'm just like, keep looking at this. This looks like a highlighter. - White out. - White out, that's it, white out. - Yeah. - And the summer it doesn't feel like this. - If they still look nice. - Now we're great. It's so real. We blew the lid off of that a couple of years ago. - Yeah, it's real. Okay. So another thing about our friendship, I want to talk to you about it. - Okay. - I, oh God. I put up this post on Instagram. And I had been in New York for like two weeks without you. You went on your honeymoon. You were, you're obviously invited to everything I do always. You were on your honeymoon with your husband in Singapore. - Yeah. - And I hung out with a lot of our friends, took all these photos. I put up this carousel, like photos and food. And it's people that people have seen on my Instagram a lot. It's Jeremy and Emily and our publicist Alana. And like it's my very long time good friends. And a lot of food. And I captioned it, food I liked, people I love. People fucking cooked me in the comments for not including photos of you. People were like, is this the end of the podcast? Where is Ashley? Did you read the comments on that post? - Cool, but I commented. - Oh. - Yeah, I just wrote, oh. Which is why I hear, oh, and okay. - If girls got to eat comments to you, oh, it's Ashley and I'm hilarious. - No, I do okay a lot. - It's hilarious. - And I like using people's name. Like last week, someone who had the audacity to say some shit about Shashank. I wrote, okay, Shirley. I just, something about using someone's name. You went to their profile, you looked at their name, and it's kind of saying your name is stupid. - One person, one time commented on one of my reels about my tour and was like, oh, how a ridge it was a man. How original when talking about sex. And I said, like, thanks so much, Frank. I'll take this into account the next time I plan a 30-seater tour. - I am exactly. But I love an okay, okay. But I wrote, oh, it has like hundreds of likes. - I didn't go deeper in the comments than that. - I got caught. (laughing) - You guys, people will be like, I can't believe you posted that. Ashley, that's bold to posted that. Ashley, some girls, like, are you guys breaking up? I'm commenting back with people over my dead body or we breaking up. Somebody said, is this the soft launch of the podcast? - You guys, stop. This is crazy. Why aren't you saying that about my honeymoon pics? - I know. - Where's Ray? Ashley took a vacation without me. - Is anybody asking? - I was laughing. And also, I didn't caption it like, food I like, the only people I love, I just wrote people I love. People were like, what the fuck? - I do, I think it was the caption, right? That's why people got triggered up, probably. And then you left a comment, which was, I mean, it made me laugh so hard, Shashank got in there too. (laughing) - So can I just tell you, I'm glad you brought this up. I have been learning the hard way about leaving comments that take off 'cause it can be a real mixed bag. So as soon as the video came out about Taylor Frankie Paul, which we will have discussed last week on the snack at this point, I thought I had the hottest take. I had not heard this yet, and I still think I'm the one that came up with this, but I said Dakota sitting on that tape was like Stephen from Tell Me Lies. So I was like, I'm commenting this the first chance I get. So the chicks in the office had posted something, this is where they canceled the bachelor out, by the way, which was a bombshell that happened what 10 minutes later. - But the bombs kept going off. - Yes, exactly. - So I just write under the chicks in the office post about the video. I was just like, Dakota is Stephen from Tell Me Lies sitting on that tape, something like that. And it went crazy. People mostly liked it. But then some people did it, and they were like, this ain't it, or something. And I'm just like, oh my God, like I don't care. This was funny, and the metaphor was fun. Not the situation is funny, but the metaphor, and the people, well, he didn't release it. And I'm like, oh my, I'm just, it's just a joke. It's just a metaphor of like, he had this incriminating tape. It's just a comparison of this thing, whatever. People took it, like, to some other context. Most people really, really liked it, and it blew up as like thousands and thousands of likes. - Yeah. - And it was mostly positive. But you get inundated with the responses, and you can't turn them off. Like, I pop up in my feed, and I'm like, oh my, it's hundreds and hundreds of people commenting back, and I'm just like, whatever. I'm not triggered if people disagree with me, or want to hate, I mean, I don't, [BLANK_AUDIO]
to find a comment and most people liked it. And then yesterday on Brian Kelly's The Points Guy post, I said something about ice being paid and TSA worker's not. And the first person that commented back to me was an insane, incoherent, idiotic string of word salad. It was nuts. It was like, didn't deserve a response. It was like a really unintelligent, uninformed person set a bunch of shit. But then everyone jumped down their neck and yeah, jumped down their throat and I get inundated with that. I don't know if it's worth it sometimes. I think I have a thing I want to say. And I don't know, is this worth it for me? - Well, that's why I stopped. - To be inundated. - You know I was the number one troll in age six comments and people and I was just like, it's not, unless it's me commenting on some random guys videos while I was actually here and then all of our listeners are like, yeah, it's clean. Do you need me in here? That makes me laugh, but other than that, I'm like, it's not necessarily worth it. - I guess, yeah, it's like, if something is purely just funny, it's not controversial at all, but I really thought the tape thing, people would just get the joke, you know, but they took it and some people did not like it. - It's so interesting to me, 'cause I mean, you are the very, I mean, my father, the first person I ever heard say that, but tons of people are saying that. I've seen all the comments, like, I mean, I really, we will have talked about this. I'm enjoying listening to everybody's opinions about this. I mean, everybody has a side and no one's totally wrong and I'm enjoying listening to everybody's feedback about the situation. - Yeah, so at this point, we will have discussed it. So if you guys want to hear our full thoughts, that was last Thursday. We're not just like brushing it all aside with this one, like, comment I left. But I just, last night I said to Shoshan, 'cause I was like, I don't know, this is worth it. Like, I don't even know if you can, once you start to become like a top comment, someone will find a reason to, someone will push back or insult you in some way. Like, there was something that the, the Eagles posted, that they fired one of their coaches and this kid had just gone viral for saying that coach needed to be fired. And I just wrote that kid on the news was right or something, that kid on the news called it. And even some people had to be like, he's not, and I'm like, oh my god, he just, it's just a joke. - I'll just stop doing that. It's just, we can't have nice things. - Sometimes it's like, we can have nice things. - Yes, exactly. - To close the loop on what I said, I actually was not thinking about you leading the comment at all. I don't care about one way or the other. People just like, we're like so stunned that I had this whole roundup of, it is weird. Like, I can't imagine another scenario in the world where I'd have like an 18-photo roundup, except for you were on another continent and I was somewhere for two weeks. Other than that, you guys, I'll never do it again. I have another public appellation. - I have a Q1 roundup, maybe I'll drop it today. - Okay, ooh. - I have a Q1 roundup, you're in tons of them. All of them, some might say. I've stopped from my Amy trip in Tampa and like, it's a Q1 roundup, so I'll drop it today. But I have all this content that you're not in too, 'cause it's like from Singapore. It's just like, this is a time in our lives. We are doing some separate stuff. - People accept that you can do stuff with your husband without me, but I can't do stuff with our friends without you. And that's a double standard, and I don't appreciate it, okay? If she can take a trip with her husband, that I'm not included in, then I can take a trip at the same time to try to enjoy my life while she's in Singapore. - I can go off queen, I support it. You know what else with comments? I'm really surprised. So I don't want to say who this was or what you post it was, 'cause I don't want them to get dragged, but it's being a Taylor Frankie Paul. There is a, one of her more recent posts, kind of like a celebrity commented on it, she'd put like two hearts. And I think she was just trying to like, show some support for this person that is probably having a really tough time. And some people of course will say she deserves it, and I'm not here to discuss either side of that fence. But people went so hard at this person, there was hundreds of comments below it. And I think she was just trying to show a little bit of support during the hard time. People dragged her so hard. And I was like, "Why are you allowed to just delete it?" - I don't think I have the stomach to like have 100 plus people comment back at me. - Right, I don't think I'm built for it. - You know what, there was something I did. I don't know, I'm gonna do it, 'cause people get all riled up again that I posted. And no one got that I was being like sarcastic. - I can't remember what my comment was, but it was the AOC said the girls are fighting or something like that. - Was it Kevin Delonmask? - Was it, yeah, maybe. And I commented something and I was like being sarcastic, but people jumped down my throat again. I was like, nope, absolutely not. Don't think I don't know the reference and I like deleted it. But it's interesting because when you have the power of all these people fighting in the comments, not with you, but under Brian Kelly's post, for example. So all these people have put so much time and energy into their comments and they're all in fighting under my comment. So I could just, dude, delete, I don't need this in my life. And all of their hard work. You know, like people take a lot of time, right, thoughtful, things back and rebuttals and all this stuff and I'm able to just be like, no, thanks. - Not under my comment. - But sometimes even my own post, I see people popping off back and forth and arguing and I'm like, I do like the engagement, but I don't really want this on my page. - I've done it every once in a while. - Yeah, stuff gets really toxic. Get out of here, not under my pictures. - Yeah. - No, I'm just trying to have a good time post a carousel. - Can I have anything nice? - What did you have to say about food? - I don't understand what's been going on at your house. I mean, I know that Shashank is doing kitchen sink app and so you guys are just cooking, you're just cooking, you're letting them cook. I actually get excited to look at his Instagram stories and Saturday and Sunday morning specifically, 'cause I'm like, what is he up to? He made these sandwiches and he bought these special sandwich boxes and I was like, did you guys order food? I'm confused, I thought you were cooking and he was like, no, I bought them. - Special. - I mean, this is just not new for him. He's so cutie about what he wants to do in the kitchen. He has bought so many different gadgets. He has a vision and he wants to execute it, so he wanted to make these Korean egg drops sandwiches. - Korean egg sandwiches are unbelievable. He was really thick, toasty, bread. They sort of sliced halfway down the middle and they stuff it with really wet, kind of like super eggs, but soft scrambled eggs. - It's so divine, it's unbelievable. - That sandwich he made, he posted it. It's on the KitchenSync's Instagram, the way he executed via the app. So KitchenSync.app on Instagram, you can go see a photo of it that I took. It was unbelievable. He had been talking about all week. He was like, just wait till Saturday, I had this surprise and it was like the best breakfast so much, I've ever had best sandwich I've ever had in my life, but yes, he wanted to have the execution be in like a little box, so he found these online. - 'Cause they have to stand up. You have to like, eat it from the top. - Yes. - You can't eat it like an ice cream cone kind of? - Right, like you can't hit it from the back. Like I picked it up to look at the back and he was like, don't eat it from the back. - It was so bad on the bottom. - You made it from the top, he made this from the back. But so, yes, like he has these ideas and it's really cute. I mean, that's why this app is so natural to what he has already been doing. - Okay, and then you guys this weekend made bagels with four different toppings. I was like, I wanna be Ashley when I grow up. You're just hanging out. - I didn't see that coming, he ran off to the store, we didn't have any eggs. - The eggs didn't look that good. - He made a mistake with the scrambled on the thing. No, there was one, he made Ford, I'll post on the screen if you guys are watching on YouTuber Spotify. Just one was kind of a mess and we both agreed. 'Cause you know, I don't wanna wet tomato with eggs. - So here's my problem with all open-faced sandwiches, bagel sandwiches, LA, it's like very prominent. You just, not a New York thing. Everything in LA is served open-faced, it's wet. All of them are so wet. I can't bite into the food. I mean, just slides all over the place. They put olive oil on the fucking bagels here. It makes me feel crazy. And there's so many bagel places that I love, but I have to be like, please don't put olive oil all over this bagel. It's already bad enough for me, I'm all set. - I know. - Yeah, the tomato with the scrambled eggs was a mess. And he knows that, and here's my tip, okay. You put cream cheese down? Then there's cream cheese on all of them. - Make the eggs omelet style. - Yeah, exactly. It should have been a fried egg. - Yeah. - But even then, I don't know that I wanna wet tomato. And a good in season tomato is juicy. And I don't know if these really go together. I don't want tomato and an omelet. - I do want it sometimes, but it is a wet veggie. - Yeah, it's not, I don't need it. - Also, if you're gonna do that, tomato has to be on the top. - Yeah, okay. - Good, it's a good note. - I'm just like, wow, she's really just, I wanna be her when I grow up. - You're gonna hate this, but I said, I wasn't gonna tell anybody this, but the bagel was just a couple hundred thousand people. - Whole foods, everything bagel is so good. - Out of a bag, actually, I don't, they toast them. - A little bit. - That's why they're readable. Rayna, don't, don't you do it because they were so soft. - Whoa, what's that? - Maybe you don't understand bagels the way I do it. - I think they're putting more preservatives or something to keep them soft. - No, they're the extra preservatives for me. - I'm not saying that's a good thing. They're keeping them longer. They're still soft like today. Like, if I go get a fresh bagel from anywhere, it is rock hard the next day. - Yeah, 'cause it's a fresh bagel. That's why I would never buy a bagel from the grocery store that's disgusting. - Well, it was delicious. - Maybe you were just tasting what your life was like. - You're like, I have a man that woke up this morning and cooked me four different bagel sampler, if you will. Remember the time on my birthday, you suggested to my boyfriend that he go get as bagels and locks and he was like, I'm not gonna do that. (laughing) - Yeah, I sort of got across the street from our apartment. - I know, I said, just set her up a little bagel bar. - You were like, you're broke and you can't afford anything and here's a great idea. And he was like, I don't think I'm gonna do that. What I'm gonna do is go to a restaurant with her for dinner and I'm gonna tell her I forgot my wallet when the check comes and she's gonna have to pay for it. - That was tough, I was there for that. (laughing) I showed off to crash the dinner. Like I do. - To bring my credit card. - To bring your credit card. You're like, hi, I'm Raina's real partners here. So I'll pick up this dinner. - This is like an older story you guys have probably heard. But one of my favorite things was you did a birthday on a boat and there were fireworks on the road.
River, wherever we were, on the Hudson or on the East River, whatever. And there were fireworks and people were coming to me and being like, did you get fireworks for Reina? Not one person asked your boyfriend. Everyone was like, Ashley, oh my God, you got fireworks for Reina. I'm like, first of all, I'm so flattered that you think I could afford this. That you think I could coordinate with the FDNY to set off fireworks in the river. I mean, it was hundreds of thousands of dollars with the fire. It was the giant fireworks show for all of New York City. And people were like, Ashley, do that. Okay, so there's just one food thing. It's going to be a really cold take. But last night, like you told me you need eight hours of sleep. You're like, this is crazy. This is my new thing, just the coldest takes. This is like when I used to talk about old movies. I was like, if you guys see the bodyguard, it's so good. So last night we were eating this pasta. We get pasta every Saturday morning, our farmers market. And we have pasta every Sunday night. This pasta place is just so incredible. It's called anapasta LA. We get their pasta, their sauce. We've had all the combinations they make. This is like our weekly tradition. We get their Parmesan, everything's like fresh. It's delicious, unbelievable. They had a new sauce. They had an Arabiata sauce. Oh. And you said that good. Thank you. That's what I really do know. And they were like, it's spicy as it is. But they didn't say it's so spicier. They didn't give any sort of warning. They were like, it's spicy. It's an Arabiata. I'm like, all right, great. So we'll get it. We'll have it with the rigatoni. It was so spicy that I couldn't taste anything else. And I can handle a lot of spice. I'm not my mouth. I'm not like, I'm going on fire. I don't think I'm airy on a gronday on hot ones, but I really can handle a lot of spice. My dad can, like, I can handle it. And I like medium spice. I like food that's also not spicy, too. But when you get to that level where it has overtaken your taste buds, and you cannot taste the food, this isn't my mouth is on fire. I have to drink milk. I'm fine. I'm sitting there. I'm fine. But it would do to anyone else. My tongue has been compromised. And my taste buds have been compromised. So I was like, people can't like this taste. I was like, why do people like spice? So I looked it up. Do you know why? Like, why do people just like that sensation of a cabsesa? Like, I said, Dishashank. I was like, I think people are just trying to feel something. I was like, I think this is psychological. So to me, it makes food more dynamic. It's not just salty or sweet or savory. To me, it's just a dynamic flavor profile. I think it covers up every other flavor in the profile. I think that when I was eating that sauce, I was like, is it even tomato? I can't taste the pasta. Also acid and spice is really intense. Spicy tomato sauce. But my point is at a certain level, that's it. It is dominating the whole dish. OK, so I looked it up. I had this feeling. I was like, I think it's like a logical. I think people like spice for the wrong reasons. Even they just try to prove something. Yes. So I look it up. I can see it. Spicy food is primarily enjoyed for the rush of pleasure, caused by endorphins and dopamine releasing in response to the perceived pain of heat. Beyond this, it acts as a cultural tradition, providing a cooling sweat effect in hot climates. Shashong sweats when you eat spicy food. And it was historically used to preserve food too. So for safety, for food safety. But the reason why people consume and enjoy spicy food is the endorphin high, capsaicin triggers pain receptors. So causing the brain to release endorphins and dopamine, the feel-good hormone to counteract the discomfort, leading to euphoric, spice high, or an adrenaline rush. And it's benign massacism. Yeah, but pain can't. Similar to enjoying horror movies or roller coasters. I hate both of those things. Humans enjoy experience in a high-intensity yet safe sensation that creates a sense of mastery over the pain. And then, of course, there is cultural and there is climate. And, of course, flavor and aroma enhancement. But the primary reason is psychological, which a dopamine rush, which I literally was like, I just think people want to feel something. Well, maybe at a certain level of spice. I put Frank's Red Hot in my Hamas last night. I always do that. 100%. I put a little Frank's Red Hot sauce I say, like, I put it on eggs. Like, it's not uncomfortable. That's my point. Like, we went to this brunch, this baby shower brunch on Friday. I wanted to put the chili oil in the Hamas. Like, I want to put sriracha on everything. Like, I gravitate towards a medium heat. I love it. I love spice. But when it's that highest level, you can't taste anything else. And people want that. And they seek it out. My dad being one of them. And my dad's a thrill-seeker. He's like a pilot, a race car driver. Like, it goes in line with the personality type of like a thrill-seeker. But they're just doing it for the plot. OK, I'm glad that you brought up roller coasters in horror movies, two things I will not do. And it really embarrassed me growing up. I felt like such a loser, because everybody wanted to get all scared watching horror movies. And scream was my favorite movie when I was a kid, a kid. But I have no interest in a scary movie, a slasher film. Even if it's so stupid, it's ridiculous. I do not want to feel scared. I don't want it. And I fucking hate roller coasters. And again, I felt like such a loser growing up. All my friends wanted to go on them. And I would wait downstairs. I love those. I live for them. I dream about them. What do you like? You like the fear? I don't know. I guess I was a little more a thrill-seeker as a kid. I was obsessed with amusement parks and roller coasters. And I think part of it was like we didn't grow up in year one. And so it was such an exotic novelty to me. It was a three-hour drive to get to the closest six flags. And I was obsessed with like Bush Gardens and King's Dominion and Disney World and all the things. But I love the thrill, like the thrill. But I'm curious about this in people's personality. 'Cause my dad, it makes a lot of sense. So he's just, now it's skiing. I mean, which is not the skiing's dangerous. But again, his life has been like pilot, race car drivers. He wants to ski even against the doctor's orders. Like he's a thrill-seeker. And he will eat whatever you give him. Like to watch him do the biggest glob of wasabi. He's just doing it to do it. Actually, it's crazy. Your dad eats spicy stuff. Like my dad eats mayonnaise. They take a scoop of it on every bite, which is objectively discussing them. My dad does that. But your dad, I'll never forget watching him squirt a bottle of sriracha on every bite. - Yes, and the wasabi. - Matt will be like, you won't eat this. And I will give you a hundred dollars. Back up match was always a cash on it. 'Cause when he was bartending, he'd be like, here's a hundred bucks. And my dad would do it. And it was insane. And nothing was ever hot enough. Like no hot sauce was hot enough. Nothing is hot enough for Lee Hasselstein. And it's for the rush. - I mean, it's gotta be. Also, I had this like big lead moment. I had the show in San Francisco this week. And I wanted to go to Swan or Easter Depot. It's this old school, like kind of diner style seafood counter. It's like 15 seats, whatever, right? I had to go at eight o'clock in the morning 'cause that's the only time I could make one for the flight. (laughing) - Love it morning, seafood. Lindsey was like, this is disgusting. And I was like, we're gonna go. This is my dream. So they have the condiments like on the counter. One of them is horse radish. And I ordered like crab cocktail and some sashimi and shrimp and all this other shit. The guy behind the counter was like, wouldn't be careful of our horse radish. It's really hot. And I was like, you're a bitch. (laughing) I took like a big glob of it. I mixed up a little cocktail sauce, but it was a lot. And I put it on like a little crab claw. The way that I was like coughing and hacking up along. Like I was trying to function. You can't, you know what you just can't breathe. It's eight in the morning up here. It's in your nose. It hit my tongue, I was like, I'm fine. And then I hit my nostrils. And I was like, I'm not gonna survive this. And he was like, I literally told you. And then I did it two more times. - I literally told you. See for the rush. - I was like, it won't be this bad. This second time I did it two more. Lens, he was like, I'm not gonna say with you. You're gonna see. - For the pain mastery of it. Maybe I have a pain kink. - That's what I'm saying. So I'd be curious if you guys like in the comments. Like are there people out there that are like know I genuinely like the quote unquote taste of this and like I live a pretty vanilla life. Otherwise, and this is how I get off. You're like, I'm just curious about why people are really seeking that out. 'Cause I just can't, it takes over the taste. And I wish those people at the pasta stall, the farmer's market would have been like, it's really hot. Like they know warning. I appreciate a warning. But it is so funny though when people overhype it and they're like, it's so hot. And like this is not the end of it. And Shashank can handle a lot of heat and a lot of spice. But again, he's probably a medium heat preference, but he sweats and he's handling it. Again, this isn't like a, I'm on fire. But he is pouring sweat. That's his bodily response. Like very funny. Anything hot, he is dripping. - Physical reactions. - Yeah, so I don't. I really don't. So maybe that's why I also like it. I will say in restaurants when they make something spicy, you just can't make food at a grocery store, or the farmer's market that spicy. People don't want it. - I know. So I just, I don't, people want this stuff. - Okay, well, anyway, that's my hot take. No pun intended. Let's just go over a couple partners and then we will get into the topic today. Okay, revolve you guys. These are revolve pants of course. These are super down, which is one of revolve's house brands. We love super down. They are super affordable, great stuff, quality. I said this before that every single thing with the exception of one daytime look on my honeymoon was revolve. And I just got a bunch of new stuff last night. And such a range. Like I got this blazer I'd have my eye on. It has like cutouts on the side. It's so good. - Academy blazer. - It's look out of me. Yeah, we love this brand. They have look out of me. - I just like what they do 'cause they have all these different shops. So if I have to go to like a wedding or if I have to go to a festival, or it's like a summertime vacation, like it's just, I like that they've segmented it. That's my favorite thing about the revolve website. - It makes it easy because they have so many items on the site. They have, I mean like dozens, hundreds of designers and they still make it easy to navigate. Like I think it's so easy to get overwhelmed. But when you really condense it down to exactly what you're looking for, they're gonna have what you're looking for. And again, we have warm weather coming up. They have great swimwear, great cover-ups, everything you need for all your vacations, everything you need for date night, work, date and night. And they also just launched their own label called Revolve LA. It is so chic. I am obsessed with this. The silhouettes are really strong and modern. It's very polished, very confident. It's the kind of stuff you put on when you want to look expensive, especially for a dinner or event where you know photos are happening. So this is great to just, if those are the goals, like an event for sure, like just revolve LA.
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I'm talking about Capri's. Revolve has such, I mean, so many different Capri's and I like a little say like this is our best seller in this category and people leave reviews and it's just like anyway. Get your Capri's on Revolve and get your trenches too. Get your Capri's on your trenches. Okay. If you guys had decided at the beginning of the year to get your finances in order and to track your spending and you kind of like let the little go go, it's never too late. So rocket money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions. Monitor your spending and help lower your bills so you can grow your savings. So maybe you just want to get a handle on what you spend or you want to plan for like a summer vacation, something like that. It's really great. First of all, rocket money can find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions. The interface is really easy to use when you go in. It will truly just tell you every single thing you're paying for and I could not believe everything that I was paying for. There's automatic transaction categorization across accounts. There's customizable categories and tags so that you can look at your spending patterns. It'll help you set budgets and goals and it consolidates checking savings loans, investments into a single dashboard. So this is truly the one thing you can do to monitor your spending and try to get a hold of your finances. It's really tangible. It's easy to use and I love the interface. Let rocket money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join it rocket money dot com slash gge. That's rocket money dot com slash gge rocket money dot com slash gge. Okay. I love my husband who hates me. Unrelatable. A memoir. So this article in the cut was a couple weeks ago, but we wanted to talk about it. It didn't go as viral as our boyfriends in Barassane, but it certainly made the rounds and we were seeing it. The subhead is nothing inspires rage like a woman who defends her partner's bad behavior by Bindu Bansinoff, a writer for the cut who covers news, culture and relationships. I've seen this, you know, play out a lot on television, this dynamic on television and with celebrities and some people that we have been in social situations with, couples where you're like, oh, yikes. And with friends of my own, where, you know, everybody hates the partner and then they defend them to you. And you're like, I'm sticking up for you because of how they treat you. Well, we'll talk about all these different dynamics, but I really like the topic of this episode. I would never have known how to really like encapsulate it. Like I love my partner, but he hates me is like, I would never have titled it that, but it is this dynamic. I've never been able to like, yeah, really put a title to. Yeah. That's an extreme title, it's a click, yeah, click 80 title, but, you know, we have always talked about those couples where you're like, they hate each other or he hates her or she hates him. And, you know, if you had seen this title years ago, not even, I don't know, prior if you saw the title that was like, I love my spouse who hates me, I'd probably think the woman hates the man if we're talking about heterosexual relationships. Like, I think that's a real trope, like a woman who really presents despises her husband and a lot of times after you've had kids and he's not helping around the house. And so we are talking about male behavior today, but I do acknowledge that this is the case in reverse and a lot of relationships and any relationship. So we know those type of women who hate their husbands are open about it. Yeah. And they belittle them and they nag them. And it's not exclusive to men and those men probably deserve it. But, you know, if you are a woman and you're in that relationship, you, you know, hopefully you don't want to be and you can change your fear of what's going on, work on it or get out of their relationship. So I just wanted to say that disclaimer up top. This is an exclusive to men, but I think that in the society we live in terrible men do terrible things and they're ruining this country. And so I mean, especially triggered by like giving men a pass to do terrible things. Like I think as women living in a patriarchal society, we are especially sensitive to men again, like belittling us, like diminishing us, not validating us or our friends and family. I feel like when I see this dynamic play out, which is just like withholding compliments or insulting your partner in front of groups of people or just blatantly disrespectful behavior, it examples of pop culture and in my real life tend to just be men on women crime. It's not as common where you see women just railroading a man as much. And then private. They're so sweet. It's different. Yeah. I just wanted to acknowledge it, you know, any relationship that's toxic in this way can be coming from either side, but we're talking about the men today. You know, all I'm trying to do is get ahead of the comments. Women do this too. Let's shut up. We know. Yeah, for every one woman that does it, thousands of men that do it. So that's the problem. Again, it like hits different. So there's a couple of things in the article, it's pop culture and in person examples of partners not complimenting you, doing hurtful things that are framed as kind of funny, undermining you in public and disrespect to you and even privately, not really like giving you your flowers and just kind of feeling like, I don't know where I stand with this person. And when I try to address it, I'm undermined or told that I'm the problem. And then additionally, in this article, it talks about women share bad behavior with their friends. And then when others react, they kind of defend it. And they're like, well, you don't understand him. This is not really how it is. And I think that we all have had that whiplash with our friends and their partners where they unload on you the things their partners are doing because they want comfort and community in that. And then you have feeling about it and they defend it. And you're like, but don't tell me if you know why I opinion about this. I know. And the article, it opens with Kristen Bell and Doc Shepard and the share interview that they said was like super awkward. And we talked about that too. And I did notice some people that didn't like what we said. And I think people don't view Kristen Bell and Doc Shepard relationship like that. And that's fine. And if you have watched his podcast and listened him for all these years, you have more information, you can perceive it however you want. But they are like a prime example of culturally how people think that he does quote unquote, like he comes off like he hates her and he embarrasses her and puts her in her place. And she's just like, aha, you don't, you don't get it again. That's just in the article, you're welcome to think whatever you want. And they give a lot of other examples and there's a lot on like TikTok. Like this is this one woman who posted a video about how her husband tried to destroy her favorite perfume by smashing the bottle against the sink and broke the sink instead. And it's like, why'd you post this? And there's a bunch of different things like, you know, this woman saying he never complements me. And I remember that one trend, what was it, Rainer? Remember it was like couples together like admitting stuff and like it was so dark. We trust and we don't give feedback, we don't judge, yeah. And like guys were like, I hide out to avoid my family kind of stuff. And it was like, I found these examples, particularly prominent among the Bravo universe and the men and the male female dynamics really a lot like on Vanderpump rules with Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney, where he dumped a drink on her from Vanderpump rules. You see it with Shepp Rose and Taylor on Southern Charm where he's screaming at her. You're a fucking idiot. And you see it a lot, a lot with Kyle and Amanda and Summer House and that's really the prime example of somebody who is like rich, really humiliating their partner on national television. And I mean, the most viral clip from Summer House is him screaming at her. Summer is supposed to be fun. Amanda's not fun. And I mean, Jeannie on her publicly and she's always just like embarrassing her. And then she tries to defend it a little bit. All these people defend their partners by saying, you don't understand what they're like buying closed doors and we have this kind of sunk, sunk cost fallacy of like we've been together so long. You don't know what he's like. People give all this feedback and then it is, I guess the nature of not these, I'm not calling out these women a bravo, just in general, this dynamic to like defend him. You don't know what he's like behind closed doors. He's better behind closed doors. And I'm always just like, is he? Yeah. You know what it's funny? I was thinking about like, what would you prefer? Neither. Of course, but bad in public and good behind closed doors or I think it's almost worse. Good in public and treats you like shit, but behind closed doors, I think I'd prefer the former. But, well, I prefer the former. I think you want other people to see it because you want people to hold you accountable that this is not acceptable behavior and that's something. I mean, what a nightmare if somebody is such a narcissist and they're performatively fun and charming and kind. Exactly. No, it's just scary. Yeah. That really is. And then the article outlines like why people post this, you know, because I think you see some things, you're like, why would you post this? And the article says, I mean, sometimes it is a cry for help or a woman trying to be like see, all these people agree you're terrible or you actually do think it's funny and then people like, that's not funny. That's actually pretty toxic. I mean, I think that whether you're posting about it or not, this isn't relatable to everybody. Not everybody is posting tick talks about this stuff or anything in their life, but I think there's a number of reasons why a woman would stay with someone who treats her poorly. They think they're deserving of the treatment or this is the best they can do. The breakup or the divorce is a fate so much worse than being single or. there's trauma and security, there's a lack of self-worth. I mean, there can be a lot of reasons and like no one case is ever the same. - Nobody's horrible 100% of the time. And so these people tend to know how to balance it out. - You and I have people that we know in our life where the husband insults the wife all the time. And I know that they've built a great life together and they really like each other behind closed doors. I think they have a good time, but it is uncomfortable to be around. You say to yourself, how could you tolerate this? And time spent with somebody is important to people. And it's hard to extricate yourself from a situation whether you're on a TV show together or you guys work together or you're the same friend group or you've built a house together. Like it's really hard to get out of these situations and we'll read some emails, but like so many people are like, is it really that bad? Am I asking for that much? I have 80% of what I like, even though 20% is so bad. But 80% of it is great. - Right, I mean, what are your boundaries? How much can you tolerate? And what's normal to you? In a lot of relationships, this may be the dynamic their parents had. This may feel normal. I mean, it depends. We've all grown up so differently. I mean, I sometimes, I'm thinking of one couple I know and the way that she talks to her husband is shocking to me. I know his mom and I'm like, I'm assuming that's how his mom talked to his dad and like he thinks it's okay. And it couldn't be me, it couldn't be in my household. But there's that too. You know, that's the way your dad treated your mom. It felt normal. So you might even seek it out and that's a whole different thing. Again, it's like case by case and the stuff can be explored and therapy and I think we choose the patterns that we're comfortable with. You have the patterns feel terrible. That's why I'm attracted to emotionally available people like Skype, group, and home like that. So like I think that even if it feels really, really bad, it is the trauma we know how to deal with. - Right. - And so we do seek it out. And so like, yeah, maybe as a woman, you did have a father who kind of put your mom down and even put you down and put you down and put you down. You're like, this is a comfortable dynamic for me at least. And the behavior of like you shared this with your friends and now your friends don't like this person and they're like coming at you and you snap into this like defensive mode. You almost feel like you're judging me for having chosen the first time. You're seeing it through the wrong lens. Anybody that says to you like this is bad loves you and they want you to get out of a bad situation. But I think a lot of people hear this as like you're judging me for my choices. This is who I picked. So don't judge who I picked. And you're like, I don't, I only have his information 'cause you gave it to me. - And you can't unpick them. - Yeah. - Why are you sharing this with me? What do you want from me? I love this one quote from the article. What is it about a random couple's marriage that can set off such an explosive reaction? And commenters sometimes get too worked up about someone else's affairs. But many of us get second hand embarrassment from these women because their experiences hit close to home. The treatment they seem to normalize for themselves reminds us of what we might want to normalize for ourselves. So if you have a really disproportionate reaction it could be a projection. Or I don't know, I was trying to dissect that sentence. Like as a woman you're like, you're making us look bad. You know, like don't accept, what are you doing? Like we're supposed to all be better than this. Like I wouldn't tolerate this and you shouldn't either kind of think like it comes from different places. - And even if you know that you've accepted it in your own life, it doesn't preclude us from looking at other people's lives and being like, this is bad. When I did it, it was bad. I'm you doing it is bad and you deserve better. And I do understand that some women do also just feel kind of beaten down by the dynamic. If somebody is just constantly making fucking digs at you, like you do just start to believe it. And I remember this scene this season in Summer House where Amanda is talking about Kyle. And I mean, it's just the dynamic with the two of them seems so terrible. And I don't know what goes on with my closed doors when they're not on camera. But it seems so awful and there's so much contempt. And she says to one of the castmates, like I don't know if I deserve anybody else or if I could do any better. And I'm looking at this woman who is successful and beautiful and kind and people seem to really like her. And I've never heard a bad word about her from press or anybody. And I'm like, you have been beaten down into thinking this. He probably doesn't tell you your piece of trash every day. I'm sure that doesn't happen. Of course, you've accepted this dynamic and think it's all that you're worth. And that's really tough. And the longer you stay in situations like that, the more you believe it. Yeah, these situations, these toxic relationships completely shatter yourself worth. And your value, they have you questioning all the other decisions you're making in your life. I mean, I was in a relationship that was so toxic and I was making weird career decisions. You know, like it just makes you doubt yourself and everything in your life. I mean, these relationships ruin us. They truly do. I mean, being in a relationship with a man that is breaking you down, it's ruining who you are. You can get it back. I will say that. I think there's always a light at the end of the tunnel and then you can stop accepting this. You'll never accept it again. Hopefully, I mean, I have no tolerance for this. I am this highly sensitive to it. Like you will not belittle me or like you won't put me in my place in public. Like of course, all of the conflicts with my partner, like we all do, but I will not be disrespected. And I'm really sensitive to it around other couples as well. There's something that is just so gross to me. Like can you not keep it in the box? Like I know we're all human, we all bad days and we have things happen in our life. We can take them out on the people that we love, but can you not self-regulate in public? Like if you act like that in public, I always think how is it at home? Like I don't believe it. 'Cause unless they are trying to put you in your place in front of other people, which is even worse. It's a dynamic that I find so fascinating 'cause I look at the man and I'm like, by telling everybody how ridiculous she is, or she's exaggerates, or the only person you make look bad is you, look terrible. No one wants to be around this dynamic. And I don't understand why you can't keep it in the box and I've had plenty of problems in relationships, but that's never what I've had. Or somebody's like embarrassed me in front of people and has to act like I'm a little too much. And people are afraid to do that to me. And I think they should be. No one thinks I'm stupid or ridiculous. No one thinks I'm too obnoxious. And if they do, then I don't need to be around those people. So I don't need a man managing me. - Yeah, and if you feel like this is happening, I mean, you just have to, you have to clock it and you have to remember it. You have to provide the examples. Anything I've had in a relationship or a friendship even that I am like, this thing is happening. Go right it down in your phone. If someone happens at a group dinner and you don't wanna address at the dinner, you wanna remember it for later. I mean, go to the bathroom and make a note in your phone to when you have the opportunity to be like, you did this thing and it made me feel this type of way. This I will say is something I think you need concrete examples and I'm not saying you should keep a log of your relationship. I'm saying this happens once, twice. It's time to talk about it and say this is what happened and this is how this made me feel. - I don't like this notion of being told that you've been keeping score. And we're gonna email about it, we'll talk about it. But there's a difference to me between writing down every single thing somebody does and story it up for fight and just making a couple notes about how something made. And if you wanna call a keeping score, I don't know, I don't know what to tell you, but I'm entitled to take some notes because when I have an argument with somebody, I do wanna be able to say instead of you always do this, which is the most shaky foundation to start an argument. - I want a real example. - By the way, I need to be super clear. If someone comes at me and they start bringing up stuff from Weeks prior, absolutely not. You've been keeping a log, unless this happened a couple weeks ago and I didn't think much of it, but it's happened a few times since. I'm not saying that to keep a log and I know you don't mean that either, but I just mean sometimes something happens in public or in a social setting where you really can't address it in the moment and you wanna remember it and you wanna remember the way it made you feel. Sometimes alcohol is involved and so there's no harm in doing that. I remember one time something my accent to me, I could not fucking believe it and he was drunk and I was drinking and I wrote it down on my phone 'cause I could not believe how mean it was and I told him the next day and he tried to deny it and I was like, I wrote that shit down. That was so out of pocket, you know? And so there's just no harm in that, but that's like a little extreme. - I hate this dynamic with your friends sometimes because I've lost friends over men that they're with because they've shared stuff with me and eventually it's like, what do you want me to do? I have an opinion about this. I'm gonna share it with you. I love you, I care about you, I want more for you and oftentimes you end up losing the friend even at least temporarily, it causes issues or somebody will say like, well, I can't tell you anything 'cause you judge him and it's like, but I don't know what you want me to do here. I don't wanna say to people, don't share things with me that you don't want an opinion about. But I'm a human, I'm gonna have feelings about it. You can't be mad at me for being mad at a person for treating you poorly. And I don't know, this is really abusive and I don't think all these situations are like this but when a partner backs you into a corner to the point that you can't tell things to your friends and it's you and them against the world, that's a really bad dynamic. They've triangulated you against everybody in your life. - Yeah, that comes up and they even have a quote from Esther Parallel in here about the triangulation where it is us against them. And I don't know if that's on some subconscious level, the goal sometimes of someone coming to their friend and being like, he did this thing. And the friend pushes back, that's awful, that shouldn't happen, that's not healthy. And then you're defensive and you take it back to him and then it's like, can you believe she said that about us? And you do this so many times and you become that toxic unhealthy couple that's us against the world when you presented the situation to the world.
It's very Christen Dodie and Tom Sandivall and you won't understand that, but I mean, they just cheer on each other so much and I already so mad at them and then it was just done against the world. But in a real life scenario, it's real abuse isolating somebody like this. And if your partner is telling you that your friend is not a good friend or giving feedback on a situation that you know instinctually is really bad for you, then you should clock that. Yeah. And a couple tips we have here are just listen to your instincts of course and you wrote down here pay attention to your instinct before you defend the person. Like, why am I doing this? Like, why did I share this in the first place if, you know, there was going to be an adverse reaction and also if everyone has the same reaction, different friends of different opinions, you know, but if you have shared something and everyone's feedback is like, this is not great. And I've witnessed this and I don't think it's great and you know, don't think that we're all talking about behind your back, but like, you know, this is making you feel bad and he treats you this type of way and maybe time to rethink your relationship. So I mean, I think you can just ask yourself like, what are red flags and what is normal? I mean, red flags to me, like you're editing stories to make them sound better. My boyfriend that I lived with and I was like 23, I just like left out huge chunks because I just I knew that it was going to sound so bad. I look back at like how much I tried to protect him. Everybody in my life hated him, which is that my friends hated him. I felt embarrassed after sharing and you're constantly explaining this person's behavior. I mean, this is an archetype of a type of person. Like we all deserve to be with somebody that makes us feel solidified, hole in our bodies, good, de-escalate our stress levels. Like if you are constantly defending somebody else's behavior or constantly, you don't know him like I do. I know. No, I know the archetype that you're dating and that's a real problem. Yeah. And again, like we're all human and we have reactions and we do things we're not always proud of. And I just feel like especially today's climate, like people are just stressed more, they're angry more, you know, like I have to really catch myself. And when I'm in a dark place to not take it out around those around me and you know, people you love, you know, just we all make mistakes and we all should get passes to an extent. But if I were to tell you something that Shashank said to me or did that was bad, you could acknowledge that is bad. That seems out of character. I don't I'm not even have anything. And you, but you know him better. Like I don't have to be like you don't know him. Like you, I see him through the lens of the other positive things I know about him. I'm never going to have a reaction like that and that that should tell you something that your friends can tell you bad things about their partner and you can be objective versus like, I'm okay, this person. Yeah. I think that's the main thing when you find yourself constantly. Be like you don't get it. You don't understand. He's different than you think. Which how much are you having to say that? I wonder if this is a dynamic you kind of grow out of. Like this feels like something I dealt with a lot in my early 20s. You're just making excuses for men. And you know, you just grow up and people are better and you have less tolerance. And those two things kind of cycled together. It just makes people a little bit better. I think I've been dealt with this as much in my old age. Like everybody hating my partner. I mean, since I'm in my 30s, everybody likes everybody I date, but you do just grow out of it a little bit. I think you just you learn. You just learn the behaviors a little bit better. Yeah. And again, like the tough part is like not all of this is so terrible. It's just can be more minor incidents. It can be death by whatever paper cuts. What is it? Death by a thousand cuts. Yeah. Like it can just be a little remarks here and there. And I think that's when it's tough, you know, when you are having these things happen. And you're like, am I overreacting? Like, you know, and maybe he is, he's great at home. But you're like, I feel this certain type of way in these certain situations. And we'll get to some of the emails. Like I think sometimes it's hard to know if it really is that bad. But I think that like those situations are really hard to deal with because like that's what the article focuses on. It's not like systemic abuse. I know. But it's, but it's pervasive underlying issues of just like, I don't like how this feels all the time. I know. People in my life tell me how bad it is. And I'm defending it all the time. And it's never bad enough usually that it's like, you could categorize it as actual abuse. Right. That's easier to at least make a concrete decision about by saying getting out of abusive situations is easy. It's very hard. But you could at least make a concrete like, I know this is bad. Right. Like I, you see sometimes couples online and you're like, oh, he hates her. And it's not, I bet he's hitting her. Or even I bet he's yelling at her. He could be of course. But I mean, you're just like, oh, I don't think he likes you, says, you know, and why post this? That I'm just thinking there's one influencer. And I was just like, this is sad to see. He doesn't want to be here. And he's letting everybody know there's a fashion girly influencer, her boyfriend. I mean, it's a tough watch. I mean, he will not emote. He won't smile. He won't participate. And she's like, he, you're like, girl, do you have eyes? Are you watching the same video as me? I know. Don't put him on here anymore. Yeah. He know what I think sometimes like long term couples like a long, long marriages, 20, 30, 40, 50 years. I mean, I'm thinking even, I'm just saying like sometimes it's just like, they are going to bicker and tickering for all people bicker. I know. Yeah, you're right. But it can, it can be exhausting. But just to counteract with some of the red flags or the healthier dynamics, where you can share honestly without needing to defend them. And you can share about a conflict. And you can even share something mean that he said in the heat of the moment, and your friend will understand that that is a isolated incident. And this isn't like all the time. And that your partner does uplift you publicly and privately. And they let you tell a story. And they don't need to pull you in your place. That's what I cannot stand and what I'm highly sensitive to it when either partner and whatever type of relationship kind of has that like need to just belittle or embarrass the person a little bit and just I don't know. Make them feel small. I don't know. It is to be gained from this. Yeah. Like you're so small that you have to do this. Yeah. Well, let's just talk about our remaining partners. And then we will get into some of these emails from you guys. So the Testaments, a new dawn rises in Gilead. The timing couldn't be more appropriate. From the executive producers of the Handmaid's Tale comes the Testaments, a new Hulu original series based on the novel by Margaret Atwood. Golden Globe nominee Chase Infinity plays the dutiful teen Agnes who guides newcomer Daisy through the halls of Antlidia's elite preparatory school for future wives where obedience is instilled brutally. With no connection to the outside world, the daughters of Gilead's commanders start to challenge authority, seek independence and explore their identity. This is just the beginning of their reckoning. The series explores friendship, empowerment, and resilience and what coming of age means for young women in a society that affords them no rights. Agnes and Daisy's bond becomes the catalyst that will up end their past, present, and future, raised to obey, but destined to defy. There's nothing more powerful than a teenage girl. So you guys can watch the new Hulu original series, The Testaments, premiering April 8th on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for Bundle subscribers. Terms apply. I cannot wait. I mean, if you liked the Handmaid's Tale, you guys are going to love this and we have seen some screeners and I mean, you know, it's a little sensitive to the time that we're living in, but is empowering. We love anything about friendship and resilient women and empowerment. So fantasy, a coming of age. Yeah, all the things are really encapsulated in the show. So check it out on Hulu April 8th. Okay, and what is one thing you could put in place this month, it would make the rest of 2026 easier for your business. I'm about to tell you, Shopify. It is the best place to start and grow a business just like ours. It is the one commerce platform behind the big brands you know and love, including ours. So if you guys have a side hustle, if you sell locally, if you want to sell globally, Shopify will take the guess we're out of building that business and scaling it. So there's all kinds of AI tools on here. If you're like, what's really stopping me is I don't know how to build a website. They have unbelievable tools that are going to help you manage the website, build it. They have tools to help you write descriptions, make your photos look beautiful. And just make your website look like a million bucks. And Ashley and I have tracked our businesses and run them. The girls got to eat merch business and vibes only through Shopify. Since day one, we can add users. We can have people in our business access all of the product lists, the inventory, the reporting, the orders, everything from anywhere in the world at all times on our phones or the computers. It is made running vibes only and girls got to eat merch just, I mean, really such a breeze. I can do discounts, added moments notice. You can check your inventory. You can do sales, anything you want. So I really love it. It has made our lives so much easier. If you're hungry for the chance to become your own boss, it is time to take your ideas and head over to Shopify today. Go to Shopify.com/gge to get started. We promise you'll be so happy that you did. Okay, and we are going to get into emails. But I do just want to say that the article ends on a positive note. It talks about how your friends and even strangers on the internet, can you help you leave these unhealthy relationships? And they interviewed someone that she says she, without her friends, she wouldn't have realized how abusive her relationship was. And she says they did not enable me. They stopped laughing at my jokes. They didn't coast on the lies. I was telling myself and that saved my life. And then there's another story about a woman on the internet that people in the comments really helped her see the light on this relationship. That doesn't sound like it was physically abusive. The previous woman was this man, she said, tried to kill her. So it just goes to show that sometimes again, talking to your friends will help you leave these relationships. Of course, that's what your friends are there for to help you through these tough times. And then even posting some of this stuff on the internet again, it can be a cry for help. And it can be illuminating. People treat you like this. They're always going to tell you that you're
overreacting that it's not that big of a deal. I mean, a solid, healthy, emotionally stable partner will hear you out and try to change the behavior. But in these situations, you constantly hear women saying, like, I don't know if it's actually that bad. I don't know if I'm overreacting. It tells me that I'm overreacting. Maybe I am. And it is that person's job to keep you in this dynamic because it's comfortable for them. And of course, you're being ridiculous and sensitive and overreacting because that's their job to keep the cycle going. And your friends, even though you feel like maybe you're being, sometimes you, of course, you feel like you're being attacked. Your decisions are being attacked, but most of the time have your best interest at hand. And they don't have anything to gain from telling you. Right, right. Yeah. OK, so we're going to do some of your emails and just talk about these different dynamics. So I've been in my partner for five years and I genuinely love him. We've a great life on paper. But lately, I've been noticing he's just kind of mean to me. It mostly comes out as jokes, especially in front of other people. He'll say things like, you know her. She always exaggerates. Ha. And everyone laughs, including me. But afterwards, I feel weirdly small. It's never one huge thing. It's just consistent little dags. If I mess something up, it's good thing you're pretty. Or it'll undermine me mid story, like I'm not capable of telling it myself. If I laugh it off, everything's fine. But if I push back, he says I'm being sensitive or killing the vibe, and this is just not our dynamic. The confusing part is when it's just us, he can be really sweet and affectionate. So I start to feel like maybe I'm overreacting. But lately, I've noticed that I'm a little on edge in social situations. I'm almost waiting for the next comment. And I hate that feeling. Is this just his sense of humor? And I need to accept it. Or is this actually something bigger about how he sees and respects me? I felt this email in my body, first of all, I hate being around couples like this. And I don't think you're overreacting. I think, listen, I'm not there with you day by day. If your boundary is, I don't want to be publicly embarrassed in front of people. You're always taking digs at me. And your reaction is just that I'm being too sensitive. Why are you right? And I'm wrong. Why is your comfortability important and mine isn't? Why is everything that I'm too sensitive? Why isn't it like, OK, I'll try a little harder to not do this, this clearly bothers you. And maybe you're a little too sensitive. I don't know. I don't know you. And I don't know every situation. There are people that are that skew more sensitive and don't want to be negged in front of other people. I love being made fun of. But some people, they don't like it. And if you're telling your partner, I don't like that. I don't know why you're wrong and they're right. And that's the final and I'll be all of this conversation. OK, these things are really tough, because you get into this territory of like, you're overreacting, I was just joking. Well, that's just how I am. I'm not going to change. And what are you expecting to do? But it's interesting that it's become more as of late. Like, this wasn't always the dynamic. Is this just a relationship that's run its course? And you're just annoyed with each other? Like, he's fallen out of love with you. I'm not saying that's what's happening. And he has contempt or for some other reason. Like, is there something under the surface? Yeah, like, what's going on outside the relationship if this feels like a newer development? That's so interesting. I think that you see this in dynamic shifts a lot. Like, if he made more money than you for a long time, where he was more traditionally successful and then the roles reversed. And he's just trying to cut you down and everyone. He doesn't realize he's doing it. Yeah, I mean, that's the tough part. Like, again, like, sometimes the only answer is a third party. And we knew a couple that had some issues and they went to couples therapy for years because it was like stuff like this. Someone else has to play referee and see this and validate this because this will just keep going in circles. If you tell your partner, like, you kind of do these things when we're out and this makes me feel small and here are some examples. And they don't validate you at all. If you want to try to salvage that relationship, someone else has to be involved. That's the only way. I don't know what else you could do. I think you see toxic stuff like people try to record, be so they can play it back and be like, this is what you do. I don't know. Like, I did that in my most toxic relationship where I was like, you got to hear how the way you sound and you say this shit to me, you know? But couples therapy to me is the answer when it comes down to this kind of stuff. If they really are not hearing you, that's your last resort. And I don't know, I'm certainly not his side, but I can see a dynamic where you both have just beaten this relationship. I have a friend who was broke up with her partner recently and she kept saying he makes fun of me a lot. She'd give me these examples and I'd be like, I don't know, these things sound that bad to me. It would be like, it would be digested really cute to me if it was a partner I wasn't mad at. I didn't have contempt for her already. But you can only hear this through a negative lens now because the relationship is on its course. And you guys are done with each other and I'm sure he is probably like, I can't choke around with her at all anymore. Everything is seen as like a dig or something negative. But I think that that's another time when you need to like bring in a third party or call it. Like she's saying like, you know, do I need to just accept it? No, this is not a dynamic I would ever accept. You both need to figure out a middle ground here. - Yeah, and you do have to reflect is this the same as it's always been and I am just digesting it differently 'cause I'm mad at him too. Which I probably is not the case in this. I'm just saying there is that too. There's always just like, and I just annoyed with him. So the stuff he's always done annoys me now. You know, did those little comments of, you know her, she always exaggerates. What do you have said that three years ago? But I just loved him then and now I'm annoyed with him. And I think it is, again, I think men have a harder time dealing with their shit. And when my dad was going through all his health stuff before he had his hip replacement, he just was in chronic pain and angry. And he's certainly not someone that qualifies under any sort of abuse that goes without saying like verbal or emotional to my mom. I mean, they have a great marriage. But I think he took it out on her. It's just his frustrations. I think that like, he was probably shorter with her and just more annoyed. And my dad is just, we're the same. We're very annoyed of all the things all the time. You know, I think that it became tough for her and she talked to me a little bit about it and it's like, we all knew what was happening here. And that's why we were all so desperate for him to get the surgery. And meanwhile, he's had such a loss of identity. He's not skiing, he's not doing the things that he loved. He's just cooped up in the house in chronic pain. Like, I'm not saying that that's an extreme but what is your partner dealing with? It doesn't make it acceptable, but at least maybe you can pinpoint where it's coming from. Like, if you told me this and I would ask so many questions and if I could get to the root of like, what that guy is dealing with, that's making him unhappy in his life, we can at least know why. Is this like a season? Yeah, there's this like forever. I mean, I see this from men when they feel competitive with their female partner. And they really feel the need to make you look stupid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's when I typically, they're threatened for some reason. They're threatened, yeah. And it's not you being too sensitive and I refuse to live in a dynamic where somebody says like, you need to just get over it or you're being always sensitive because like, your feelings about this will not supersede mine. Like, we need to both feel comfortable here and go all out for my 100%. The next email, I have been with my partner for two years and overall, he's a really solid, dependable guy, which is part of why I feel weird even writing this. But one thing that's been bothering me more and more is that he just doesn't compliment me. Like, never. I got really dressed up for a wedding recently, hair, makeup, tried on a ton of outfits to find the perfect dress and he said, I looked nice. In quotes, which is honestly the peak of what I get from him. I never hear these proud of me or even get thanked that much when I do things like make fun plans for us or cook a really good meal. Meanwhile, I'm constantly hyping him up, telling him he looks hot, that I'm proud of him, all of that. I brought up a few times and he always says that he's not a words of affirmation guy and that he shows love in other ways. And to be fair, he does, he makes me coffee every morning. All right, well, now we really gotta get into this. Takes care of things around the house without being asked, he's super reliable. Like, I never question if he'll show up for me in a practical sense. So then I feel guilty for even wanting more. Like, am I just being needy or asking him to be someone he's not? But at the same time, I don't feel that desired by him or even really seen in that way. Like, do you notice or appreciate me at all? I work hard to look nice and do fun things for us and it's as if it's totally unannounced. And I hate that I'm starting to notice other people complimenting me more than he does, like casual quaint says. I guess my question is, is this just one of those you can't have everything relationship things and I need to appreciate what I do have? Or is this actually a sign that something is missing that matters more than I want to admit? Oh, that's tough. - I think we all wanna feel appreciated by our partners and I think we all have different love languages for how we feel that, right? And this comes down to like some people won't give, some people want access to service, some people won't compliment. I like a lot of compliments and I don't know a girl that doesn't. Also, these are two different things. Compliments and be thanked? - Yeah, 100%. - You need to thank me for the nice stuff that I do for us. - We have a feeling undesired on one hand, we have feeling underappreciated. Both of those are not great. Those are two things you shouldn't feel in your relationship because he's not complimenting you. It's just, it's not in every guy's nature to say you look beautiful. There's something they don't have the vocabulary. I mean, I did a whole reel about this when I got my makeup trial for my wedding and what it's just shocked say, you look great. And like, I got a lot of compliments for how I know things are beautiful. Like, didn't say the right thing. And I think he also has seen me in Glam. He didn't know the difference. But like, I really took the wind out of my sales. I mean, I made a full reel about it and made it funny. But I was like, oh, I didn't see that coming. I thought it was gonna be more. And he's like, you look beautiful like you do every day. And I'm like, shut up, not the right thing. But so it's just like, not feeling desired. Like, what's going on in the bedroom? Like, is it making you coffee every morning? A lot of women don't get that. You know, as he's showing you, he appreciates the stuff you're doing, by doing something for you in return. Like, is this guy really stoic? You know, is this someone who really is a man of very few words and he is just acts of service? That's really like my dad. I mean, I don't know. I'm trying to think of my dad with the compliments. And he's such an acts of service guy. And I've seen him be physically affectionate, obviously, with my mom. He's like, you're watching me. You're watching me. You're watching me. Oh, stop. like growing up.
I saw them like touch and kiss and stuff like that. They still hold hands. Oh God, can you imagine? But I'm trying to think. I don't know if I can picture Lee Heseltine being like Cindy look beautiful outside of like once or twice a year. But your dad is, I mean, you know everything's gonna be taken care of, like he is an acts of service guy. I would not work out with somebody who's not a words of after me or a guy. I just wouldn't. That's my love language. I want to hear a proud you are of me. I want you to ask me a thousand questions. But I had a partner. He just never said anything nice to me. He was never excited about anything. How I dressed, I mean, I would like pick out outfits to like, you would like and I'd look really nice and I never ever heard anything. I'd never heard appreciation of how I looked. He was proud of me, but he would say to me like, but I've planned all these things. But I thought about things you would like and I made reservations and I booked these tickets and I don't know, it's just, we did not have the same love languages and it was never gonna work out. I know, I know. And I appreciate those things, but like, of course I do. But like, there's gotta be a balance of everything. I need a balance of all those things. - Yeah, I mean, again, two years, a lot of couples call it after that being together. - Yeah, like, this might help you. (laughing) - You're like, I've done compliments for two years and I'm exhausted. - He's like, he did compliment me that first week or two, that first month when he was really trying to light up in this. - Yeah, exactly. I'm just trying to get laid. No, but it's, the love languages book changed my life. I think looking back, I probably think it feels a little, like a little massage in us in some ways. I don't know. Was that men or women or feminists? I can't remember. People had problems with both. But it changed my life because of the guy who was dating at the time and how much I realized he was acts of service and really not good with the words of affirmation. It made me realize that every time he did these things for me, how much he did desire me and appreciated me. But I don't know what's going on here. And this might not be the right match. And I'm not invalidating her experience. I mean, to say, I don't feel that desired by him or even really seen in that way. I mean, she uses this side of her herself. Like, if he's making you coffee every morning and taking care of things around the house that I'll be an ass, he's super reliable. I think that's him showing you. But what's going on with her intimacy and what's going on in the bedroom? Like, that's part of it too. Is he physically affectionate? If he's doing all that stuff and he's physically affectionate, I. - Physically, yeah. I hope you feel desired, 'cause he is trying to show you. But it's not going to be every man. Every man is not going to do those compliments. Like, I think we've seen a lot of stuff in the movies and in TV and in pop culture that's actually not even, you want these, you want it to be the notebook. And that's not real life. But you can obviously find a man that will compliment you and make you feel beautiful and say the right things and tell you how much they appreciate you. Those do exist. And if that is your hard line, then maybe this isn't the right partner for you. - I just want to lay about it with somebody and hasn't told me how obsessed they are with me and ask me a million questions about every single thing I do. I mean, I'm the biggest words of affirmation. I couldn't last a week with this person. Like, I don't care what you do for me around the house, 'cause I'm just like an independent lady. And I'll do all this. I just, it's so important to me. Some people would say like, that's just words. And it doesn't matter. I'm dabbing somebody, show up for you and be consistent. And that's more important to me. Everybody's different, but like, I really need to hear those things. And it's so interesting to me. I'm trying to differentiate between what I hate more is the you're being too sensitive guy from the first email and that I'm just not a word of affirmation guy from the second email. 'Cause like, why do you get to be comfortable? And I don't. - 100%. - And I don't like it. And okay, if you're not a words of affirmation guy, but I'm telling you that this makes me feel really bad. And you could just tell me that I look nice once in a blue moon. That won't make you feel really bad. So why can't I win a little bit on this one? - Yeah. And I don't know their communication style. I don't know these people. But it sounds like she's trying to lead by example. She's like, I'm constantly hyping him up, telling me he looks hot and stuff like that. Like, are you speaking him in his love language? Do you know what it is? You know, I said this back with a guy that's a strong acts of service guy that the first time I ever cooked for him, he treated me completely differently. He didn't treat me bad. But like, he, that's the first night I ate my pussy. Like, the whole thing, you know, we've talked about this. Like, he changed towards me. So like, it sounds like she knows what she's doing. I want to come across that I'm like on her side. But like, are you guys speaking to each other in the right languages? But to your point, yes. Like, I'm sorry. Like, you can talk. You can say, thank you for the meal. Like, you can utter the word beautiful. Like, I mean, again, you don't want to force somebody to say those things. But for her to say, when I make a really good meal, like, is he just doing the dishes? Is that how he's showing you appreciation? Great. Do the dishes. But you can say, thank you. Well, you don't process the dishes. Exactly. My accent, I'd said this to you. And I was, I did the same thing. I tried to lead by example. I was like, I'm always telling you how, how gorgeous I think you are, and a proud I am of you. And he was like, I don't need to hear that stuff. Like, I got you to stuck my dick. Yeah, just, he wasn't, he wasn't fun. I did that. Oh, that's right, he didn't like, he didn't like it. Wait, what do you think he wanted for me? Like, I don't, I still don't know. He wants to talk to me every day. So I, I don't know what he liked about me ever. And not a super sexual person. He just was sort of like muted in general. Nothing really excited him, including me and sex. I just, I don't know. He wanted to go out to eat a lot. Okay. And he was hot. And he changed his tune. I mean, listen, if his personality was like a little bit better, we would be together right now. I'm still holding out for this. But yeah, I mean, she says I brought up a few times what was the tone? You know, if you feel like this is serious and this is breakup territory, it sounds like, I don't know, you can sit him down and be like, I gotta be honest, like, I brought this up a couple times. And it is something that I need in this relationship is just a little more when it comes to this. And is there anything that you feel like you're not getting for me? I want to stay in this relationship. I, if you love him, maybe, I mean, tears that you're doing this, like, I don't know, she's, I'm just saying, I love you. I want to be with you. I want to make this work. Here's why it is not working for me. And again, check-ins with your partner should be doing that. I mean, they're really healthy. I don't know, they need quarterly. But like, a check-in, and I hate to say Aryan of grievances. But like, when you're in a good place, and things are feeling positive, is it time to sit down and be like, you know, I just, I gotta be honest, like, this stuff really has been sitting on me. I don't take it lightly. And I want to know if there's anything that I could be doing. 'Cause I do, I start to nag a little bit. And I'm like, well, I've got this up in a light way. And then I brought it up in a more serious way. And like, I will bring up individual situations, but I think when you actually sit down with somebody and say, like, this is, so this is like serious to me. This is not, I'm not trying to pick on you. But like, I need this, I really need this, and I need better from you than I'm just not a word to that formation guy. Does he have any women in his life? Like, I, he can't have a sister. That's for damn sure. He cannot have an older sister, I know that for certain. But like, anybody in his life to be like, talk to them, ask them what you're supposed to say. I just ask, Claude. (laughing) He just gets the Google compliments. - My best friend. (laughing) - Right, Claude, write me a list of compliments. - I was in a car trip the other day, and I was like, I have run out of things to talk about. Please give me a list of things to talk. - Seriously, I mean, this is the beauty of the internet is it can help you. - Yeah. - Plot it. - It was like, hey, says, I validate this in a comfortable situation. So here's what you guys are talking about. - Right, you're like a reference to that, your iPad for the outline topic. - So, could you, if you had unlimited funds, where would you travel? He's like, what? (laughing) He's like, no, we've earned the car. You're like, traveled, that's why it's like, (laughing) just to find where you got the. - If you could get any car in the world, what kind of car would you buy? He's like, you care about cars? I'm like, no, I just care about feeling a silence. (laughing) - All right, guys, well, you know, you should never feel like your partner hates you or resents you or as contempt towards you. And again, things have been flow. We all have ups and downs in different seasons. But if this is pervasive and you've talked to them, it's not changing. I mean, you have your therapy and your third party as an option always and breakups. Always an option. - I think they should both break up with the boyfriends. - These ones? - Yeah. - Maybe. - I think that they deserve compliments and I think that they deserve to not be insulted in public and I think you can do better. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, the first one I'm more worried about. - The second one, she had a coffee in the morning. - Actually, okay, pretend you didn't see that. Pretend it wasn't that. (laughing) That makes care of things around the house that they're being asked. Like, so women heard that and we're like, "No, that's not what I mean." - It takes all the trouble. - Someone else will tell me I'm pretty, okay? - Yeah, exactly. - Exactly, exactly. Send a selfie to the group chat. That's how you get your validation. - So many people, the internet will tell you you're pretty. - I'm gonna hit on Instagram. - I'm gonna hit on something, yeah, that's true. - All right, guys, well, girls got to eat.com, get tickets to our show here in LA on May 7th. Girls got to eat podcast on Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash has on Instagram and TikTok. Reina is reina.greenberg and reinagreenberg.com for her tour tickets. You can watch full video of the episodes on Spotify and YouTube. Subscribe, share this episode with a friend. Stay safe out there and bring up your work runs. - Yeah, we'll see you Thursday. - Have a good week, guys. - Bye. (upbeat music) (upbeat music)
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
The host shares a personal experience of feeling defensive when friends react negatively to her social media posts about her relationships, highlighting emotional triggers from perceived judgment.
A central theme is the discomfort and toxicity of men publicly belittling or disrespecting partners, often in public settings, which the host finds deeply violating and emotionally damaging.
The host reflects on how such behaviors normalize in some relationships and can erode a person’s self-worth over time, especially when repeated and unchallenged.
She emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, documenting incidents, and having concrete examples when addressing toxic dynamics in relationships or friendships.
The conversation explores the psychological aspect of why people enjoy spicy food—linked to dopamine release and a sensation of mastery over discomfort—contrasting with her personal aversion to overwhelming spice.
A key takeaway is that public displays of disrespect by one partner are more harmful than private issues, and women often internalize such behavior, leading to self-doubt and emotional trauma.
The host notes that sharing personal experiences about relationships on social media can provoke backlash, even when intended to highlight emotional truths, and warns against over-interpretation or projection.
She advocates for accountability, emotional safety, and the right to be respected in public, stressing that toxic dynamics should not be defended by the partner or dismissed as "just a couple’s thing."
Summary:
The podcast explores personal and social dynamics around relationships, emotional boundaries, and public behavior. The host shares a painful experience of feeling defensive when friends react negatively to her social media posts about her life choices, highlighting how such reactions can feel like judgment. A major theme centers on toxic male behavior—publicly belittling or disrespecting partners—which the host finds deeply offensive and damaging, noting how it erodes self-worth and leads to internalized shame.
She explains that such behavior is often normalized in relationships, especially in media portrayals like reality TV, and can be deeply internalized by women over time. The host emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries, documenting incidents, and having clear examples when addressing harmful dynamics, rather than reacting emotionally or defensively. She also discusses her personal take on spicy food, viewing the enjoyment of extreme heat as a psychological response tied to dopamine and the thrill of discomfort, contrasting it with her own discomfort.
The episode concludes with a strong call for accountability, respect, and emotional safety—especially in public spaces—where people should not be disrespected or put in their place. The host advocates for recognizing toxic patterns, protecting one’s mental well-being, and prioritizing relationships built on mutual respect over appearances or convenience. Ultimately, it underscores the need for self-awareness, boundary-setting, and the courage to confront harmful dynamics in both personal and social contexts.
FAQs
People may feel defensive because they perceive the sharing as a judgment of their own choices or relationships. It can trigger feelings of being judged, especially if the situation feels familiar or personally relevant.
People enjoy spicy food because capsaicin triggers pain receptors, leading to the release of endorphins and dopamine, which create a pleasurable, euphoric sensation often described as a 'spice high'.
Toxic behavior includes public disrespect, belittling comments, lack of compliments, and emotionally abusive actions that damage self-worth. These patterns often persist even behind closed doors.
Keep specific examples in a private record of incidents, note how they made you feel, and use those examples when discussing the behavior with the person or seeking support.
Yes, some women defend their partners' behavior, often citing a lack of understanding or a belief that the situation is better behind closed doors, but this can be a sign of emotional dependency or trauma.
The Kitchen Sync app helps users plan and execute recipes, such as making calamari, by guiding them through steps and providing tools like timers and ingredient lists for home cooking.
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