I Kicked Off Her Abusive Husband | Financial Audit

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To watch episodes of Financial Audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. He's been cheating since like 6 months into our marriage. Have you guys been married? We've been 17 years. Brother, what are you, what the f*** are you doing? You call her fat all the time. You were calling her fat in the pre-interview like 50 times. That's probably the reason why he decided that other girls are more important than me. It's f***ed up what you've done. He doesn't care. Has CPS ever been called in this house? Yep. She raised her hand at me while getting angry at you too, and I slapped her across the face. I have to ask, has he ever hit you? Yes. Once I got knocked out. Like I said, I don't. I don't remember what happened. You had a panic attack, a severe one. I got arrested. Why? I'm explaining what happened that night. I want you to get the f*** out of my studio. I never want to see you again. Security's here. I don't want you here. You're a piece of s***. 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Hi, I'm Joy, and I'm 39 years old. I'm Peter. I'm 37 years old from Arlington. And this is Financial Audit. It sure is. Thanks for coming down, guys. I really do appreciate it. Joy, let's start with you. You're right in front of me. What do you do for a living in Arlington? I do work from home. You do work from home. That's not a job. What do people, everyone that works from home on the show clarifies. Immediately, when I ask what they do. I'm customer service from home. They immediately clarify that they work from home. No one says, "I work from office." They, for some reason, when I ask what their job, like, I don't even get it. It doesn't matter. It's just so weird. It's a trend I'm noticing. Why did you feel the need to clarify that? Because I'm a work-from-home, home-schooling mom, and so it's all, I'm at home 24/7. But what's your job? I'm customer support. Okay, that's your job. That's what I want to know. No, her job is a mom and customer support. I was going to say. That's her job. Because moms is a job too. How many kids are there? We have five. Okay, very good. Ages almost four to 12. Well, let's just give me each age. All right, so we've got 12. 10. 8. 6. About to be four. Okay, very good. That would be three, by the way. I know. He's only a few days from home. Very good. How many hours a week do you do customer service? 24. At September 1st, I moved up to 32 hours because I just had surgery. Oh, big jump. Not really, but that's amazing. More money. How much money do you make an hour? $12 an hour. Okay, have you ever considered that working from home might not be working for you super health-wise? The daycare cost would be worse. Well, it's not even about the daycare cost. I'm talking about the whole fact that you clearly don't move. Oh, I do. Don't worry. Oh, damn it. Because in the last nine months, I've lost 35 pounds after I had massive surgery and discovered I'd been misdiagnosed for 11 years, so I'm good. Okay, 35 pounds in nine months. Dr. Now would be very displeased. He would call that a one-month loss. Doctor would be really happy because I had to have a hysterectomy, and most people gain weight after a hysterectomy, and I've lost weight. She actually lost weight. Oh, that's good, but still 35 pounds in nine months. Hey, for her, for what she does, that's actually an accomplishment. After being misdiagnosed. What does she do? So I do stair climbs, even being overweight. So I've climbed 45-story buildings. Now? I've still done them up until I— She used to be a former firefighter. Why are you just—she was a firefighter? Former, yes. Before I had kids, I was a firefighter. Your oldest kid is 12. Yes. So what the fuck are—I mean, that was a long time ago. Yeah. Okay, then I don't think you're doing it now. Yeah, no. I used to until I started getting sick to the point where I was— Now question. Yeah. I mean, you know— I'm cool. We're on the second floor. Yep. There's also an elevator. Did you take the elevator or walk up the stairs? I was not there. We took the elevator because of the kids to keep them all together. You know, it's just like up and you're there. Right, but one of my kids doesn't do too well with stairs, my four-year-old. So he had to hold my hand the whole time. He's not fond of elevators. He's scared? Yes. Of stairs? Yes. But not elevators? No. No, he did pretty good. He did pretty good. He was holding my hand. He's done the elevator at the hotel and here and— What's scary about stairs? I think it's because those stairs are a lot wider because he didn't like—he's used to the stairs. Our stairs and our house are really close together. But yeah, he's not fond of— Wait. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. —building and stairs. Hold on. Yeah. If I'm not mistaken, did you say you homeschool them? Mm-hmm. Yes. Have we ever considered that might not be going well for a four-year-old that clearly needs to go the f--- outside? Oh, he goes outside. Oh, he goes outside. We have a backyard. And other environments besides the park? Yeah. Yeah. Is he afraid of stairs then? I think if he was at school, a lot of them have stairs. He wouldn't be as afraid of stairs. I know a four-year-old wouldn't really be in school, but they would daycare. Well, he's three at this point in daycare, and they don't necessarily have— Not always, but there's clearly something a little weird. Yeah, well— Well, we don't trust the school systems at all. We don't. Okay. Why? Because during COVID, they had all those Zoom calls and stuff where— People would hack into the Zoom calls and start posting adult content. What are you talking about? You live in Texas. How long were they not in school in Texas? Actually, like two weeks? So the 12-year-old missed three months of her kindergarten. In Texas? Yes. And then first grade, she would have— Okay, well, believe it or not, we're not— Yeah, no. And they're not schooling from home. Not at this point. Right now. Not for a long time. But for first grade, the problem was is she would have actually missed most of the year. Yeah. So she would have been on different classes in virtual and he just chose not to go. I understand that year specifically, but that was also, if I'm not mistaken— Yeah. Oops, six years ago. Five years ago. Yeah. So what the fuck are we talking about? He's cool with it because he was homeschooled. Yes, I was homeschooled. So he's cool with it. Uh-huh. You're wearing a Looney Tunes shirt at 37. Are we sure this has worked out? Are we sure we want to replicate this? That's why mom does the schooling and not dad. Yeah. Because he doesn't want to help. No, I do want to help. Do kids eat with mommy on a daily basis? I'm just not good with some things. Do the kids eat what I eat? Uh-huh. No. Well, do they eat different? Well, they mostly eat what we eat. It's just the younger two that don't. Okay. The one that's afraid of stairs? Yeah, he has food aversions. He's going—we're getting a new doctor to get him reevaluated to see if it's possibly—he previously had a tongue— How about the six-year-old? He eats a lot of the foods. He's gotten better. I've gotten him to— Okay. Very good. So are we— Yeah. So are we— Okay. So are we— Are we— Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. Very good. So I'm sorry. How much do you make per paycheck? Let's see. It's been about $5.50, I think, lately, because I had to take off quite a bit for a blood transfusion and a major surgery. So $5.50 a what? Pay every other week? It's twice a month. So— $5.50 every other week. Okay. Very good. So $1,100. Oh, buddy, Peter, I hope you make more money than that for this many kids. What the— But we'll get into that in a second. So what was your big disorder that caused you to be morbidly obese? So I had come to find out I didn't have fibroids, I had polyps, and my uterus was five times its normal size. A woman had polyps on her uterus. As someone without a uterus, you know, I'm just looking it up. The uterus was five times her size. Would this cause— It was five times her size. It was five times her size. So it was five times her size. removed them and found they were polyps that he said that actually impacts everything. The Cleveland Clinic and NIH and the NIH says that no, in the most extreme documented case in a large uterus or polyps, more commonly fibroids, right, does not make a woman five times normal body weight. I was just going by what Dr. told me. Let's just say for clarity. Okay. What does it cause rapid weight gain? Because this is kind of what happens on the show, right? Like we're going to go into the budget. We're going to go into the money. We're going to go into all that. The thing is, I mean, you spent approximately $700, $500, $750 just about on going out to eat. Would maybe that have something slightly to do with it? You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. Check responses, setup required, compatibility and availability varies 18 plus. Being large, because they always blame it on something diagnosed and not any personal behavior. Oh, I'm not the one who knows. I'm not the one who knows. It's me. She doesn't go out to eat. What do you eat? I normally eat at home. No, the usual sense of rapid fat or fluid weight gain. It does not. So I'm a little confused. Because you got big quick, right? Well, big girl. Yeah. Quick. I mean, the reason I'm interested in the subject specifically is there's just such misinformation around obesity as a fat f**k. Where people, mostly women, take no accountability for their decisions around their morbid obesity. Where men are just like, yeah, I eat too much. Ah, and like fat positivity took, you don't really even eat. No, yesterday I ate twice. She might eat maybe twice a day. Okay, well, that was yesterday. Let's talk about the average day. No, that's a normal thing. It's lately, in the last probably two years, that is the thing I don't normally eat. Do you have a normal average day? Yep. Okay, very good. What do you eat the first thing you wake up in the morning? I either have a protein shake or I have some scrambled eggs. Okay, how much scrambled eggs? How many eggs in the scrambled eggs? Probably three. Okay. Or a protein shake. How big of a protein shake? The little boxed carton ones are like, I think. So one little thing this big. Eight to six ounces or something like that. Like 11 ounces, I think, or 12 ounces. Okay, 12 ounces. They're not very big. Gross. And sometimes with those scrambled eggs, we'd have bacon and sauces mixed in with it. Oh, no. Most of the time it's vegetables. Well, we also put vegetables into it, too. With the bacon and. Yes. Okay, very good. It's evolving. Three scrambled eggs. Six with sausage and bacon. I clearly care about this subject. There's so much fat positivity and just insane things that are going to literally kill generations of people. Bacon and veggies mixed into it. Very good. What do you snack in between breakfast and lunch? Be honest. I'm a snacker. I can actually show you my regular meals if you want to see what I normally eat. Potentially. I'm just asking the question first. What do you snack? So I have a little individual peanut butter with a small thing, individual thing of caramel and green apples. My nutritionist approved it as a little treat with. I'm not saying that. I'm just collecting information. Oh, yeah. She also does eat Chick-fil-A for once in a while as well with that. With that? But what is my Chick-fil-A order? Most of the time, what is my Chick-fil-A order? A sandwich. No, what is my Chick-fil-A order? A sandwich. In the last six months, it's not. It has been a sandwich. Okay, you tell me your Chick-fil-A order. In the last six months, my normal Chick-fil-A order is a side salad. What salad? What's a side salad? A side salad. So the side salad with the bell peppers. But your sandwich has bacon on it. It has a grilled chicken on it with cheese. Okay, well, normal today though. My normal lately has been the side salad with the bell peppers and an eight-gallon grilled nugget. How many? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just earlier this week, you had the sandwich. Hold on, no, no, no, no, no, no. Hold on. You want to talk about it. You're the one who went and ordered me that chicken sandwich. Did you not? But before even I ordered that one, before that one, you had the chicken sandwich. Because you told me I didn't need a salad. You ordered the salad with it anyways. You told me I needed more than the salad is exactly what you told me. So I ordered. But you always complain that you're hungry. But I was going to do the grilled nuggets and you said that wasn't good enough. But you always complain that you're hungry afterwards. No, I don't always complain I'm hungry. Yes, you do. That's only if I haven't eaten all day because I've been busy. It doesn't matter. You still complain that you're hungry. So if I choose to get what I want, you gripe at me because I'm eating. You gripe at me all the time for my choice of food. Okay, but your normal Chick-fil-A is the side salad with the bell peppers and eight grilled nuggets. The eight grilled nuggets, yes. No dipping sauce with eight grilled nuggets? I don't do the dipping sauce, but I do the zesty apple cider vinaigrette. Zesty apple cider vinaigrette. Vinaigrette, very good. Okay, so that's our snack. What's lunch? Oh, that wasn't a snack. That was lunch. That's lunch, you goofball. I was talking about my snack still and you brought in the Chick-fil-A. That is not a snack. Okay, so your snack is the caramel pack with the peanut butter pack and an apple. It's normally two because we get the little bitty tiny. Yeah, we normally eat the little like lunchbox sized Granny Smith apples. Very good. Okay, and nothing else in that snack? No. Then the lunch is that side salad. With the nuts. Nuggets. With the nuggets and the zesty apples. Okay, very good. Okay, snack between lunch and dinner. So that is normally a vegetable. It's either like celery or carrots. How many carrots? It's a cup. A cup of carrots. What are you dipping them in? Greek yogurt with ranch powder mixed in. You said this is for dinner? No, we're on snack before dinner. He just said dinner. He said before dinner, between lunch and dinner is what he just asked me. That's what home cooking is. That's what homeschooling does. You don't know how to listen. No, my mother pulled me out of public school because of the stupidity of teachers. You barely made it through that sentence. Okay, very good. And dinner. Your normal dinner, average dinner. Lately, average dinner is since I got us a Ninja Foodies because we don't have a last two months. Yeah, two months. Okay, what's your normal average dinner? Come on. Yeah, it's grilled chicken and- How much? Do you consume? It's normally one chicken breast for me. One big chicken breast. One large chicken breast. Grilled in what? Just grilled. Just grilled with seasoning on it. With seasonings, that's it. No oil? No. Nope. It's an air fryer. What's your size? Most of the time it's vegetable and- Vegetable for me. What vegetable? So like broccoli or- How do you prepare it? The steamer bags. It's one of those steamer bags from HEB. Good. So it's either like broccoli or broccoli cauliflower- What else? And carrots. That's typically it for mine. Do you verify? Mm-hmm. Okay, very good. Snack before bed? No. Because I don't get to eat- No dessert? Very rarely do I eat dessert. We won't. On dessert wise, she gets one of those little moose pie things. How common? How common? Not very. It's maybe once every three days. If that. No, not once every three days. If that. Maybe once a week maybe? If that. No. Okay. You have to eat all that time. What are you drinking throughout the day? Water. No coffee? No, no, no. No energy drink? No soda? No. If I do tea, it's- You only drink water from sunrise to sundown? I have been, yes. No, she drinks- Have been since when? You drink every once in a while a probiotic or- Yeah, like I'll do a probiotic drink. What probiotic drink? It's the cherry lemonade. It's a sparkling probiotic drink. Oh, and also with some of our dinners, we do eat sausage and mac and cheese in some of our dinners as well. How frequently? You normally do that? Like once every two weeks? Once every two weeks or once a week somewhere right in there. Okay. So I don't know. Average day is a bit confusing. What else? What else do you drink? Come on. I mostly just drink water as well, but I still have like a Coke Zero. No, I don't. No. She does not just soda at all. Very good. Okay. Anything else? I mean, like if I drink a tea, we're talking it's- Anything else in the average day? No, that's- Water is her thing. She eats- I have a 40 ounce cup that I keep on my desk of water. I have a 24 ounce of ice that I keep on my desk. How tall are you? 5'10". Okay. Cool. Well, that does its little calculation. It's just important because, I mean, your medical thing, it sounds like it doesn't really actually contribute to this and it's just like, if you're the one taking care of your kids and they eat what you eat, I am concerned for the kids going forward because they are forced to be homeschooled because you are choosing that and they're not choosing it. You're literally forcing them to be homeschooled. Maybe they want to be in school. Maybe they want to do sports. They don't know. Don't answer for them. You are forcing them to do this. You are forcing them to eat what you want to eat. Come on. So, I just want to see kind of what's going on here. Okay. Very good. Peter, what do you do for a living? I work as a line tuck for a cable company. Sure. That makes money. I like that, Peter. Well done. What do you make? 35 an hour. Sure. How many hours a week? 40. Sometimes more. Okay. What's your average paycheck and what is that frequency of paychecks? Average paycheck is every two weeks and it averages about 1800. Bring home. Bring home. That's his paycheck. Yeah. I just want to make sure he forgets that that's what he brings home. because he has a bunch of stuff that comes out his checks because like our insurance stuff comes out of his very good okay cool so guys how are we doing in arlington on that 4 700 net a month struggling struggling why why are we having a little struggle well why are we having a little struggle what's going on he has addiction to eating out instead of taking lunch yeah i bought him a hey i bought him a he asked me i want to take my lunch i said okay i'll buy you a lunch box and ice packs and that lasted a week he has a problem with food i said eating out i don't have a problem with food i just eat out she's right okay so what you're just eating out you're like your lunch and stuff that wouldn't drive us into the struggle hole that can't be what's not always it's not always for lunch i always eat yeah i sometimes eat out for breakfast as well uh one of them is a healthy root beer saw in bts you're having a healthy root beer i guess earlier so i don't know um you have three drinks on the floor yep okay so i don't know if it's just water but maybe you're just in a in a special a special day one is uh one's ice one is water with a nello super calm in it and one of them is a root beer probiotic sparkling drink on your average day you consume 2 600 calories that's your average day that's not when you throw in the extra things the extra things being that mac that pops up or your little sandwich that pops up or that extra little drink like you're doing today or these other days you have or her little dessert that she does a couple times a week those add up by the way especially with low activity um in reality you and your lifestyle at your height and your age you should be at about 1700 calories a day so you consume an extra 33 just about so okay come on was it a disorder or is it your behavior just because nuggets are grilled doesn't mean you're caloric amount for your age and height are good let's be real here i'm basing my like meal off of what my nutritionist has approved for me to eat does she approve this multiple desserts and this mac and cheese thing that you're doing the protein shake instead of the protein shake all of a sudden we start putting in bacon and sausage into our eggs like are they approving that so we meet once a week and she sees exactly because i track exactly what i put in by pictures now for what it's worth how much do you weigh right now i'm at 362. i was at 398 was my highest nine months ago don't approve it what on a scale yeah yeah okay it takes away five pounds we love the springer scale bring it out she consented because i mean yes you're 2600 calories so that you consume on a daily basis that is likely for your height and weight a decrease from your maintenance because you're just so large so that probably actually does make you this episode is brought to you by google chrome you think you know a browser but gemini and chrome that's new it can help you with practically anything on the web like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration blog or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks gemini and chrome is here for it ready to make anything online make sense there's no place like chrome check responses set up required compatibility and availability varies 18 plus lose weight but it's still not so that's why your nutritionist is happy it's right there if you want it mark put an oreo on it to get you to go that was rude that was very rude don't don't say that guess that was that was very naughty so naughty it says 342.2 add five pounds to it because the scale is broken in five 347 that's still less than what i told you well done i like that and it is because again your 2600 calories is likely less than your maintenance i'm gonna be real with you your debt is not the same as everyone else's you've got your own unique mix of credit cards maybe some medical bills personal loans and collections whatever 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far but private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data that's why i like dollar wise built by these people just like you for people just like you no private equity no gimmicks just the best budgeting app there is download it now start the free trial dollarwise.com link in the description below so good i know we've been working on me making more better choices and what was it 231 uh it said 242 plus the five and my nutrition is helping me with like i love it no i love that she's created you know workouts that i can work with recovering from a serious back injury and okay i haven't tried it so yeah yeah you're class two obese it's interesting because she's just like she looks bigger than like the class three of pieces and four of pieces that we've had on the show but listen i'm glad that you are going down um okay uh also why are you calling me rude you were calling her fat you call her fat all the time you're calling her fat in the pre-interview like 50 times you're like she's such a fatty what a fat she's so fat yeah oh yeah i mean i'll admit i'm not skinny i've never been skinny my whole life i'll be i've been fat and overweight my entire life i'll admit it but okay i'm not picking on you anymore i mean it's him who's like insulted that i called you fat when he calls you fat like every five seconds so what the fuck i mean there's probably that's probably the reason why he decided that uh other girls are more important than me oh you know it isn't financial audit without that what happened and do you blame him but what happened uh he's been cheating since like six months into our marriage have you guys been married we've been 17 years 17 and a half brother what are you what the fuck are you doing i have no incredible response no how about you just actually answer the question what the are you doing i don't know you we're not friends tell me what you're doing i don't know what the i'm doing i have no idea you don't know what you've done you don't know what i've done that tell me i don't know i don't know you i know you don't know me i'm just saying i don't know what i was doing to be honest making stupid poor decisions oh my gosh do then do they not understand the question are they actually what has he done what has he done uh we weren't even we didn't even make it to our first wedding anniversary the first time he cheated he walked out moved in with another girl so on that note on that extreme let's see i was lied to when i got to arlington in the first place because i was told that i had a job lined up and then he said he had a good job working with his cousin doing uh no it was no no that was that was before that was way after that that was way after that you the first time we moved to arlington we were there a whopping and before we even moved to our i'm so confused you were lied about your job working with your cousin so you moved no it was another one no so her mom got a job okay when we moved up to arlington i was told there was a job lined up and i was lied to about it and we didn't know until we got there it's not like i put that on and and but i already had a good i had a good paying job already already doing it how does all this make you move in with another woman and start six months after marrying her because i was pissed off that's why how'd you meet this other woman through my cousin to a different cousin was the woman a cousin no it's not i don't do alabama sorry no she's just a psycho bitch literal psycho bitch which one the cousin no no the girl that he moved in with psycho bitch okay why did you move in though were you in love with this woman no okay did you even know what was happening oh i found out quick fast in a hurry find out what happened um because i found out when he got a ticket for no insurance because he was still on my insurance and didn't have a copy of it and he needed me to send it and i was like why am i sending this why do you need it for a court and humble because i was like send me the ticket information so i can see exactly what you think he was i had no idea i he told me he was moving back to his parents house no actually i moved in with my grandparents at the time he told me his parents but i guess it was his grandparents but you guys think you were still did you think you were still together he pretty much quit contact so well so no he had cheated before this this chick oh yeah what was that uh so we rang in the new year together you got married one month we got married in may of 09 okay and we're running ringing in 2010 i went to sleep and he left to go cheat on me with a chick and the only reason i found out was because i woke up and he wasn't in bed anymore and how would you meet her online yeah what were you doing no never heard of that what were you doing how what online uh chat rooms stuff like that what the okay what'd you do just chat i guess i don't know i just chatted with people so when you met her first time you met her and they went around already okay you're there okay no remorse look at you my goodness he doesn't give a hell no what the is this relationship you guys are crazy crazy this is insane so then he he gets in two accidents no he got one accident before the new year right after the new year before he leaves okay well he already cheated at that point he's cheated he gets in an accident and while i'm dealing with that whole mess because he didn't deal with it he decides that he's gonna move out and basically goes non-contact okay so that accident that happened in plano was not my fault thank you very much okay i don't really even care about the accident i'm just like you're okay so that accident that happened in plano was not my fault thank you very much okay i don't really even care about the accident i'm just like you're okay so that accident that happened in plano was not my fault thank you very much and then well she's blaming me for it so i'm gonna defend myself he gets the ticket okay and he's like hey do we still have insurance and i was like because of texas law yeah you still have insurance and he's like can you send me a copy of it and that's how i found out he'd moved in with a girl because the ticket was out of emble and i said what are you doing the first one was obviously inexcusable cheating it sounds like he broke up with you and like moved out but i didn't know that he didn't tell me that he told me well he was gone right he said we're gonna take it sometime so i can get a good job back home that's definitely cheating why are you doing that why'd you lie about it oh you're incredible okay so he moved out how did how'd you guys get back together what happened so then mother's day he shows up to his parents house with the girlfriend at his parents house on mother's day and brings divorce papers and he's like here i want a divorce i regret the day i married you in front of his parents i get it how big was she who her lighter than she is now oh a hell of a lot lighter back that's what i just said a lot lighter now i was like 260 maybe wait wait how much do you weigh actually i don't even think i was at 260 at that point wait are you 347 342 oh i put in two or seven because we have to add oh i was gonna see this makes no sense that you look like that but you're only class two oh no shit okay 347 okay so she was class two obese so i mean that's fine yeah you regretted marrying her i think we all would that makes sense so so while he's with her she steals my phone that apparently he had taken and i didn't know it that was my phone the blackberry was mine no the blackberry was mine then how did it have all my stuff in it i don't know because it was my blackberry you had the black one i had the maroon one yes you had a black one i had a maroon one she took the maroon one okay anyways so because she had my phone with all my stuff in it she started trying to steal my identity and the only reason i ended up fighting her was because she her address was showing up on my credit report okay but how did you guys get back together so after that i was like hey i can't sign these divorce papers because my name's not correct on them okay and he's like what do you mean i was like i never changed my name you knew that i knew that this paper is not legal did you not read it he's like uh i'll get it fixed and get you to sign it well anyways we met back up at my parents church in november at thanksgiving and he's like i made a mistake yeah you owned up yep he's like what made you regret it man i don't even know anymore to be honest incredible okay yeah you're like sure so we spent some time talking and quite a bit of time and then we ended up getting back together yeah and things were good for a while until they weren't and he has continued we got back to back together and i thought he had quit talking to her and i realized that wasn't the case because he was in the army and she started calling from my phone she had my phone my family's phone numbers his family's phone numbers his command staff's phone numbers and was calling our families in the middle of the night called his command staff and said you have to convince him to come back to me she's wrong for me it's official we have our first class four obese person at least i'm sorry getting better and healthier and i i i i compliment you for that i absolutely do i wish you took more accountability that you got there because of your eating and not because of a disorder stop pulling that probably also a big thing okay maybe eating from your stress but it was still because of what you yeah i used to eat horribly i did for a long time okay and i until two months ago yes no the nine months nine months nine months but two months ago you changed your dinner i like i get it oh but this is like i was gonna say two months was my first dinner i think so i'll help you continue that trend is actually recognize that it was you and your behavior that got you there in the first place not a disorder that didn't actually contribute to it and not stress so you still get to cope and choose what you do with the things that happen and i found new this episode is brought to you by google chrome you think you know a browser but gemini and chrome that's new it can help you with practically anything on the web like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50 page restoration block or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks gemini and chrome is here for you ready to make anything online make sense there's no place like chrome check responses set up required compatibility and availability varies 18 plus poking mechanism good and again i'm complimenting you for that but i do not want you at the beginning you were blaming it on any other thing except for you which again only fat women do fat men do not do this i don't know what it is i'm a girl's girl i'm on the woman's side usually on the show you know you're being a stupid okay but i'm glad you're losing weight i do that is behavior that is good you are still class four which is very impressive maybe you were class five before okay so you brought him back in this was years ago you guys have been good since oh no he's cheated it's been multiple times i'll i'll own up to that i know that oh will you yes i know you own up to something you factually did what a hero i i know there's at least 10 women one reached out on facebook how is that possible you why are you with him why were you continuing to reproduce with him because sadly i listen to everybody else but myself i listen to the church i listen to my family church said be with the cheater yep sure what church are you going to a church i no longer go to i'll be flat out honest and who else said stay with his parents his parents told us to stay together my family told us to stay together my own my own attorney told me to stay with him when i filed for divorce well maybe oh you you filed for divorce i later then filed for divorce yes oh well okay after he moved back in when did you figure he cheated with woman number three um i don't remember how i found out about like three and four and five six messaged me on facebook and said oh are you married to there's four more after that where were you meeting this with these women online yeah but like what what platform or platforms i don't think the platform's even around anymore it was only one single platform yeah so that one reached out on facebook and then tried to backtrack and say oh she was reaching out to the wrong woman and then i was asking her questions and she described my car in the car seat and he ended up admitting it good and so i was like i was like honey you can't lie now i know it was you he admitted to it what was causing you up to the six times like what was going through your head as best you can i know it was a bit ago as best you can what was like what what was pushing you i can tell you what caused supposedly his excuse for one of the others which was his ex-fiancee and her husband uh three way yep yeah right train on your ex-fiancee i wouldn't say a train but okay choo-choo anyways that was an ex-fiancee that he before we got ever met he said he dumped her because she cheated on him and so i found out about that and then he told me that they were done oh it gets better with her oh does it oh yes wonderful because after she got divorced he decided to have a relationship with her and uh after i found out i was pregnant with number five because he promised me he wasn't going to do anything again um oh it gets worse he promised like the 50th time okay go on yeah i was at work before i injured my back and um he brought her to the park with my kids there and then brought her to my house why was at work and told my kids not to tell me she's calling me crazy i feel like some prince ain't back in the age i'm talking like some shady you working at job and uh woman why are you still around this is insane this is insane so after that that was like the end of us being in a relationship together so we live in the same house we are still legally married we are no longer in relationship though today the last four years since that one we are not in a relationship together we live in the same house we are still legally married but we do not have a relationship we co-camper yes oh yeah we are not oh shit she has her room i have my room we're both whoa i've never experienced this before yes because of his work schedule i compromised for us to currently stay together in a house so i have my room that's also where i work from you're out there bitches without cheating no what i haven't touched anybody since since that and why you can you're now you're actually not together because we agreed we agreed the agreement was in order for us to stay in this position nobody has a boyfriend or girlfriend nobody brings another person to the house because that part's fine i got pissed somewhere else because here's the other thing in order for him to go see somebody he's either gonna have to do it in his work truck or he's gonna have to take my car and it's her car bro no i can't afford uber hold on ask him how much money he gets per paycheck right now because no no no that he gets his spending money that is his play money with okay you guys are literally not together nope but she's getting your money and then he yes because i agreed to pay all the bills this is hold on hold on this was the agreement so that he did not have to pay because of how long we've been married and everything you went from extreme cheater to extreme let's put it this way the reason we agreed to this because we also agreed a few years ago that we would never do child support so he decided the court makes more money off of you than you make your own child support all right bros thought about this for a while almost like he's been sticking it in 50 women a day yeah no shit so the agreement was that in order to avoid social support and child support when you were getting into these chat rooms after every time you promised not to i just want to know what was going through your head try your best absolutely nothing that's the problem what was what were you feeling unsatisfied he told me i was boring in bed but he wouldn't try anything probably shut the up you can't move so she pretty much said it i was bored okay okay that's something that's something so you just wanted more a little more freaky a little more uh you know well he went with other people hmm freaky with other people yeah he wouldn't if i asked to do something he wouldn't do it what the could you do oh a lot apparently because then he'd come back and complain about how poor it was with them is what he would do okay well it's probably just because he regretted cheating but really all he can do with you is stick it in the blowhole i guess so i don't know whatever i don't know okay so you guys don't know no no good on you so good on me good on her because that boy was like i don't know i don't and the whole time we've been together yeah he probably has aids yes yeah you probably got the aids uh so okay you weren't exciting so you i mean you were just like how when you guys were married how frequently are you guys well you are but you mean together in the beginning it was quite frequently of course in the first year but like let's talk about the majority of the no i'd say about half of it it was still quite it was several times a week and then the second half it pretty much almost died off what changed there the more frequently cheating when you found out every time how i don't know if i found out about all of them i just did she find out about all of them yeah okay okay did you ever go like get with anyone else no so why can't he be with anyone now like that actually doesn't make that was his that's that was his saying that's my doing i think honestly bro just gets off on there being a rule to not be with people and then he's with people but i'm not with anybody that's the problem uh-huh yeah uh-huh sure so i can't say if he is or not because like he knows the passcode to my phone i don't hide anything from him so then like what am i doing what are we looking for because this is i've never had a relationship like this in four years of this show through four and a half almost what we're doing is trying to figure out why we're struggling so much with our finances that's what we're guys your marriage is a joke if your marriage is a joke finance is one of the first things to go it's so complicated there's no trust in this household it's impossible and finances are built on trust yeah they are okay but if she's controlling the finances right but let's also clearly we're in this situation why are you allowing her to control the finances then hold on ask answer this because how many times i've asked you to sit down so you can see what's going on several times many times he won't why i don't he goes you just deal with it i don't care as long as he goes just let me make sure i get some money when i get paid that's exactly what he'll tell me i feel as long as the bills are paid i'm fine why'd you get with her dude she could have and i know i've been memeing on you a lot on this episode and you're consent to do it right oh i'm good yeah there you go am i talking about the thing you said not to talk about i'm good you're good exactly chat we do this in a consensual happy way that's why i was allowed to bully her because she's i she also asked for permission to bully me back and i said yes so before all the tiktokers freak out the instagram comments are like protect the fatty um uh which i am too so protect me the thing is even with all the memeing on her she could have been building a life with someone who loves her with someone who respects her matter of fact i told her told her to do that when i'm when we've uh finally separated yes think about the decade before then that you f***ed up now she's locked in the situation with like two handfuls of kids so it's not as simple as at that point she produced five kids with you yeah five kids with you go be on your own no you locked her into that situation and that is so pathetically unfair because you decided to prioritize your nuts but you want to see this is the worst part of that when i got pregnant the first time he swore up and down i was cheating because he swore up and down that his doctor's word was that you were cheating that i was cheating that his doctor's word was gold that he couldn't have kids that's what the doctor told me and yet and yet we have five together did you ever do a paternity test no and why because he swears there ain't no question about that those kids are his because they look so much like him and i said i'll do one there ain't no question about it i i don't have anything to hide and he's like i don't need to they look just like me but the thing is she never brought it up she never brought they got the package or anything to do it and she says she volunteers to do it oh so now you think now you have questions about it no that's no i never said i had questions i said you never brought it back up yeah i mean you never volunteered to go to school you never brought it back up and you never volunteered to go to school get the damn things to get it done because why should i pay for it i know that i didn't do anything wrong but who'd be paying for it to be me because it's off my finances okay but that's what my thing is is if you're saying we need to have it done then why don't you make the effort if there's any potential question in your mind all right fine if you want it done i'll get it done did i say i wanted it done why do i need to have it done i have no question about it yeah that's fair it's your question right so just do it if you want to or let it go i've let it go a long time ago you have locked her when she could be with someone who's loving her for the past 15 years and have those five kids with someone who loves her pleases her respects her doesn't cheat on her isn't a complete what you've done is disgusting in this relationship and now she's stuck like she gets stuck in the doorway am i right still had to come back and get you sorry no you're good it's what you've done it is and he doesn't care i can tell he has no remorse sometimes i wonder if he is actually happy being a parent doubt it you're probably a psychopath right like in the in the non-insulting but clinical ways you don't care for her though like i feel like and you face no remorse there you you have no remorse i mean in the more clinical way a psychopath not like you know just throwing it out there like a buzzword the fact that you have no regrets and you just continue to do shit if you or your child spent years growing up on social media and experienced serious mental health struggles you should hear this recently a jury ordered meta and youtube to pay millions for the role in designing and promoting addictive platforms they knew their apps could contribute to anxiety depression and body inflammation but did not share those risks while prioritizing profits the recent historic verdict underscores the consequences of those decisions now morgan and morgan is stepping up to hold these platforms accountable for the harm they caused click the link in my bio to take a short quiz you may be entitled to a potential recovery of over one thousand dollars ladies and gentlemen i got something new to help you that we have personally built right here on calebhammer.com we have new caleb hammer financial resources they are the ones that you can use to help you with your own personal loans i would personally use which is why we made them for you to use as you've already heard me talk about personal loans are okay when you're good at debt i personally use them when i can leverage them for a situation so we have good personal loans on calebhammer.com we also have auto insurance now you can check for free and see if you can save a shit ton of money on auto insurance remember none of this actually matters if you continue the same bad behavior so it's not for you if you still suck but if you've proved you can budget check out these programs from personal loans to car insurance to see if you can save a shit ton of money across the board go to calebhammer.com or the caleb hammer financial resources part of the pin comment or description below and save a shit ton of money she told devin the producer of the episode that you're a bad dad why would she say that sorry because i don't always interact with my kids sometimes i will admit that you don't interact with your kids sometimes not always what does that mean he's a big gamer okay well there's nothing wrong with playing video games but here's the difference when we lived before we moved into the house we were in now um he his room became the living room when we walked our separate ways and he was no longer in the same room with me because the kids needed space he took the living room and he couldn't hide from the kids because he was in the living room everything circled around the living room now that we're in a house and he's upstairs and he has his own room that's where he stays because here's the thing but ask her how long she always stays in her room but the kids come in my room but you lock the door i lock the door when i need when i need like time when i'm working how am i supposed to have my kids in my room when i'm working i didn't say against when you were working i said okay how about after you get done with work your door stays still stays locked and who brings you your who brings you your dinner how often do you actually go in the kitchen and grab your own dinner for yourself okay if i come in the kitchen to get my plate you're like often i said hold on let me finish if i go in there to get my plate you tell me i'll take care of it and bring it to you not always there but not but 90 percent of time i bring you your food to you or the one of the kids bring it to you because normally and then you ask them to close the door and lock it so nobody else goes in there so that i can breathe for a few minutes after work because i literally i get up in the morning and i have the kids if i am on a break from work i'm taking care of the kids i get off from work and i'm still taking care of the kids on your days when you're off you stay in your room do you not do i ever no no no no no no no i do not always stay i didn't say all the time i said a lot of the time you spend it in your room do you not i spend a lot of time in my room but also i do deal with the kids i get after you don't do it all the time but it's like when i'm making it sound like i'm always in my room 24 7 but when i went to dc and i came back from dc the kids told me that you made them eat nothing but sandwiches while i was gone when i left meals prepared for you oh no no no no no no i did not make them just eat sandwiches you even said that's all they ate maybe like two days i'm just going based off of what you and the kids told me when i got back from dc but i did cook them meals okay all i can do though is go based off of what y'all told me right i guess so but i did cook the meals and i'm not the one who always says you're the bad dad the kids say that you don't seem to think that you don't love them what your kids say that yeah why what do that what's the reason they bring up well yeah i mean again like i think you you are some kind of like psychopathic a little right because you don't show remorse in this conversation for what you've done to her if you've done anything bad around your kids you probably don't show remorse either you're very flat they probably don't feel love from you right not that you've done something bad i don't know has cps ever been called in this house yep me twice me and who was the reason why can you tell them what the first time was it was the same reason both times okay okay who was the main one no we're not gonna go on that topic though we already said we were gonna just get that that's right that's right okay we'll get into that we'll get into that that's the post show we already agreed to that um okay i guess something's coming for the wow okay around for that um well now i'm excited but uh does he at least help clean and do dishes and stuff like that who's doing that who's doing the work around the house the 12 year old's one who has agreed to do the dishes what what are the parents well i can get do some chores but you guys don't do anything i just said the dishes that's what she has agreed to take on and who cleans and stuff i do help clean if you're if you're locked in okay so we both help clean the house yeah i'm the one who knows most of the laundry truly just locked in his room all the time if he's cooking for you and if he's cleaning but he doesn't clean all the time and he doesn't clean all the time not all the time but you're making maybe i can't tell how egregious it is him hiding away on his days off that's where he spends the majority of his time off on his days off not like i guess so this episode is brought to you by google chrome you think you know a browser but gemini and chrome that's new it can help you with practically anything on the web like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50 page restoration blog or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks gemini and chrome is here for it ready to make anything online make sense there's no place like chrome check responses set up required compatibility and availability varies 18 plus you only take the kids to the park when you have another one i don't have a park there's a park somewhere you live in dfw there's parks just don't go to them yeah unless you have another woman no i don't have another woman with me at all period that's because that's the last time you took him to the park was he doesn't get the reference he was i got you get can we get these kids out of the house i'm not homeschooled i think they need human interaction man but the babysitter out there is probably the first human interaction they're getting in years oh no this is not the house i get space this is not not space i mean like no i want them in a classroom with kids and go into the playground and lunch building those social skills getting away from their toxic parents good this household i'm sorry i know you don't trust the school system or whatever but even just like throw that all away there is a benefit of human interaction there is in sports and all the shit that comes to schools learning musical instruments are okay and we talk about like you know how great he is and how you know everything who is this one he thinks he is oh he thinks but we talk about the way he thinks he is and we talk about how he was so engrossed in a game that he didn't realize our now six-year-old um completely stopped breathing in his arms yeah i was in another room he had him in his arms playing a game was so engrossed in the game and if it wasn't for the outlet my son probably wouldn't have made it wasn't for the what he had an outlet on it's a it's an ox it's an oxidation monitor yeah that goes on their ankle so it started beeping the alarm went off on it and he has breathing issues no no it was why was he wearing that then well because he he had some complications he had gotten he was breached born and his foot was stuck in my ribs um when he was born and so like they had to physically force him out why did he stop breathing so he was holding him in the way he was holding him like this while he's playing his game got him chin to chest which cut off his airflow okay i'm sorry and nothing makes me more angry and it's like so thankfully thankfully because of my training i was able to get him to start breathing but he literally had no clue like he was actually lips were blue by the time i it registered enough for the alarm to go off you're a piece of shit i want to hear about the cvs thing but i have to start getting in these finances so let's go so we'll we'll get into that in a moment and whatever you have saving for the post show i don't even know they're hiding it from me too okay uh what do you guys think your combined household financial score is zero to ten zero being the worst ten being the best one two maybe if you want to figure out what your hammer financial score is in depth in each category take the assessment for free just takes a few minutes over at calebhammer.com and if you don't want to be like a guest who ends up on the show make sure you download the dollar wise budgeting app it is the best budgeting app for the average american check it out there's a free trial to see if you like it and most people do that's why they take the annual version it's a free trial to see if you like it and most people do that's why they take the annual version saves nearly 50 on your money and you get the physical version of my 30-day meal plan which you guys need signed by me mailed directly to you and the digital version of the cookbook as well which you guys for need dollar wise.com links in the description below or just download the app okie dokies i have office of the attorney general yeah that goes to the post show this is for the post show oh yeah okay that's for i'm even more excited attorney general's getting involved what the is happening here okay uh ken paxton do you need to call him for the post show what's going on here loan to the family what family whose family his parents okay four thousand one thousand three hundred fifty what the the four thousand was so that we could move from and two we moved out of baytown what what yeah out of baytown oh yeah up to arlington okay okay very good we were in a house in a place that was mold we found out had mold and that was why i was super sick for a long time that's why we have fully funded emergency funds what the are we doing we don't have an emergency fund why do we have that's why i said no i need to have one and he quit but when we separated everything and he told me he was going to take care of his bills i didn't know that my car was financed to an account attached to his car loan and a credit card that he quit paying and so the cars got repossessed twice that i used the fund to bail him out the third time i no longer had an emergency fund so you guys separated your ship before you moved to arlington we once had our stuff separated and after that all happened that's why he had me take it and then you guys got your stuff together again and then separated again so we didn't we had separate finances at that time because that was after the girlfriend i need you to get away from this man that's why i'm here to get away i can get my stuff in order since most of this has fallen on me so that we can don't you want to be free in a way you hate being around your kids you hate being around your bitch wife don't you want to be gone so you can just if she wants me gone i'll step out the door i'm asking what you want i don't give a to be honest really yes you don't want to just be blowing loads and women no i do it's fun what's wrong with it i have no need for it need no i have no need for it but it's fun okay he doesn't give a no so it's the income side because he brings in But the household, right? Such a weird dynamic. What do you do with someone who doesn't care? Doesn't even care about the kids. Do you care about your kids? Yes, I do. Well, then how are you telling me you don't care? Because that is a part, isn't it? It is, yes. But I do care about my kids. Then why do you care if you're there or not? Because we always fight. So what's the point of being there if we always fight? Are you guys fighting all the time? Not all the time. We do have our arguments at times. Yeah. Now, your guy has his rules. You can't see other people or whatever. Do you feel like he's living up to that? Do you suspect anything? Yeah. Why? Do you want to know why? Oh, I guess sure. So, mister, I sent a text message to the wrong person. I'm sorry, I can't get you a birthday gift. It's not in the finances right now. And then started to break down our finances to somebody. But hold up, it gets better. In 17 years we've been married, I've never gotten a birthday gift. What? That's insane, by the way. He got me a Christmas gift one time that he told me he got out of the trash. He's never gotten me anything for our anniversary. What the hell did I get out of the trash for you? That was the very first Christmas we were together when you- What was it I asked, not when. A little candle birdhouse thingy. It's like green. I don't even know what it was. Then if you don't know what it was, why are you trying to describe it? I don't know exactly what it was. It looked like a little birdhouse and it was made, it was like a blue-green-teal color. And you could put, like, a candle, I think, inside of it. I don't know what it was actually supposed to be because you're the one who got it, not me. And, but, his birthday falls right before Christmas. And I've always made sure that his birthday and Christmas presents are separated. Oh, no, that's good. Yeah, you do seem like the better partner. Don't get me wrong, by far. But he sent that to somebody. I even once, you know, he won't be doing- But he sent it to you on accident? Yeah, he sent it and deleted it thinking I didn't see it. And he's like, "Oh, I didn't mean to send that to you." And then I was like, "Oh, you mean, "you didn't mean to send to me that you couldn't afford "to buy somebody a birthday gift?" Who'd you send it to? A friend. Which is a friend. That's it. That you stick it in? No. Have you ever loved her? Yes, I did. Would you let her go through your Snapchat? Probably not. Why? 'Cause I believe that our phones are our last safe space for anything. Is this the 10 times cheater? Get the away. It's not, he's never gonna follow that rule. Dude gets off on the kink of cheating. But I haven't cheated in the last four years. I haven't done shit. That's the problem. Except for text someone and not let her go through Snapchat. You won't, well, let her prove it. I don't even go through her phone 'cause I don't wanna go through her phone. She's never cheated on you. It doesn't matter. I don't wanna go through her phone. I have no need to go through her phone. This has nothing to do about her phone. I'll be honest, you wanna hear one thing? I was with somebody one time, but let's say when this happened. Did he know? Oh yes, he knows. When did it happen? I don't know. It happened after he handed me the divorce papers, when I thought we were completely done with. So I didn't cheat because he had already handed me the divorce papers and he was still living with the girl at the time. That's the only time I've ever been with anybody else in the 17 years we've been together. And you went and got that South Dallas black dick. Not South Dallas. Well done, good for her. She's getting blown out by that BBC. But that's the only time I've been with anybody else. See, I don't even care what you're doing. Yeah, but I'm just saying. If he wants to try to say I cheated, there is no cheating because he had already handed me the divorce papers by the time that happened. And then he turned around. Well, the dick finally got his catch, huh? And then apparently it wasn't grass, it wasn't greener on the other side. 'Cause there must've been something good if he kept coming back. What's your relationship with his friend? Platonic. Would you let me go through the Snapchat? Probably not. Okay, he's cheating. Okay, yeah, a thousand to his family, what's that for? That was supposed to be for our-- That was for us to go to a family member's funeral, for my family. 350, what's that for? The alternator on the Suburban. So you guys never have money, to be clear. Okay. Well, that 350 wouldn't have happened had he actually taken your car like he said he had, and it stranded me coming home. Bro, he's never done anything right in his life, so I don't know why you would trust he would do that. Okay, some Amazon on Affirm. Mm-hmm. What's the total load on? Oh, 2,723, what the are you getting? That has been a whole bunch of stuff for the house. There's like three things that are for me on there. See, that's the thing, it's like, listen, you need to take care of shit, and that means, similar with your weight, the reason I spend so much time on that is it does come down to accountability. Even if it's stuff for the house that isn't stuff for you, is this stuff that you 100% need? It is still choices in the end that you are choosing to purchase that might not be 100% necessary for the survival of the house, that is putting you further into debt to where you can't afford a $350 repair on an alternator. So, what is it? The HEB one was literally right after we moved in, and he had to have extra money because he was staying at somebody else's house because he couldn't transfer for work, and that one's still getting paid off because I had no money for food. There are two, one, no, there's three on there that are strictly just for me, and I'll admit it. I think you'll admit it. And I did. I think I paid off one this past week, made the last payment on it. Okay, I'm sorry. Hey, listen, this is more of a concern. I don't want to insult you. If you've noticed, I've been doing this a lot this episode. When's the last time you've been to the dentist? It's been years. Years? I'm sorry, that's the nastiest shit I've smelled in my life. I brushed my teeth this morning again. It doesn't matter. Go to the dentist. It's blasting me with. It's bad. I sit across from a lot of stinky people. I'm just telling you. No, I understand. Your minimum payment, it's like $78 a month, I don't know. This is crazy. There's more firms. Yeah, yeah, it's crazy. They're all in my name. Wait, they're all $2,723? No, that's the total of everything. Oh, I understand. That's your minimum payment? Okay, so it's 10, okay. Yeah, that total is everything. I assume your minimum's about 350 then, across the whole month. That's crazy. Yeah, pull up your Amazon. Let me see if this is totally due for the house. Most of the Amazon ones. Your affirms are insane. You're just affirming for forever. 19 different ones! Yeah. Show me! Yeah. I'll tell you which three are mine, actually. Well, let's see if you can win me back. What do you play? What video games? Mostly survival and resource management. Like what? Like Dyson Sphere Project. Or program, and Seven Days to Die. That game, Seven Days to Die is great. I used to play Ark, but I got bored with it. Seven Days to Die is fantastic. You've won me back slightly. Not enough for me to think you're not a complete piece of shit, psychopathic maniac, but, you know, this is insane. This is Amazon, Amazon, H-E-B, Target, Amazon. It's like, you affirm everything. What about Rust? Try to get into it. Pussy. Let me see. Let me see. And everything on Amazon isn't just for me. I'm sure. Yeah, it's all Amazon, Target, Bruteme, all this shit. Helio, what's Helio? It's just like, it's every other thing. Brutemate. This is crazy. Well, I was going to say the left-hand side is just-- This is all the firm that I'm going through. All the firm purchases, guys. This is crazy. I'm not going to spend the time going through every single little thing here, but the whole balance goes up to that nearly 13,000 Brutemate cups. What's a Brutemate cup? 50. I'm being told. What the is a Brutemate cup? Brutemate. Huh? Brutemate. Oh, my. I'm sorry. It's war. Hold on. He can't be completely out of it. He has two, and the kids have some, too. You have 50, though. That's the whole entire house collection. And they have a couple, and he has a couple? The only reason I have a couple is because she gave them to me. Yeah, and I did sell some of mine in order to help pay some of our debt. I-- Sell them all, you freak. Okay, you're getting some. Workout bands, as long as you use it, it's fine. Do we really need all these oral swabs, though? Who's sick? That oral swab was because it was recommended to be able to clean my ice machine that I have at home to get in all the little crevices. You know, the little Sonic ice that you get from Sonic? Great, that was a critical purchase. I've had it for a long time, and the one that I have now was-- To be more Brutemate, endless Brutemate. So you're affirming Brutemate. Stuff for the house, go yourself. Just like the morbid, morbid, morbid, morbid-- So those Brutemates I paid by cash. Obesity. Still. These money, the cash that could have been spent on the other things instead of having to affirm them, it still offsets. Just like your morbid, morbid, morbid, morbid obesity, it is choices and personal behavior from the ice machine to the ice popsicle makers to the collapsible stool and the meat grinder. Collapsible stool was his because he broke one and had to replace it. I don't care, I don't care. It's still purchases you don't 100% need to do. The glucose monitor, yes, you actually do. That's his. 'Cause you definitely both have diabetes, right? No. No. I don't, and I just had a full look. Neither one of us does. I just had a complete workup done, and I'm not even pre-diabetic. What's your blood pressure? Was 76 over, I mean, at 121? Over 121? No, flip the numbers, 121 over 76, sorry. All right, let's check it. It's probably gonna be high now. I'll admit it, it's gonna be high. It's probably gonna be high right now 'cause she's in pain. I'm not just in pain, I'm pissed. Well, fair enough, well, we'll see. But you're pissed all the time. Yeah, dude, you're just getting so much bullshit. This relief cap, like, come on, the pads, That's fine, obviously, but good grips, containers, yourself glass bottles go yourself what are we doing the glass bottles is what i have to use to put my iron in because it can't be exposed to it has to stay in the amber ball your iron i don't give a shit about it what iron she was i'm anemic that's why i have a blood supplement okay that's fine i was anemic and had a blood 90 of it was bullshit that you don't need that you need to take accountability for or else there will never be anything never be anything getting done in this house the pouches the food pouches that you saw like the plastic they're reusable okay right and i'm just saying some of it was okay the majority of it wasn't so shut the fuck up take accountability instead of making excuses or else you're gonna be fat forever or else you're gonna be in debt forever you're managing the household finances and you're affirming everything come on over you don't be scared she's not that big well i'll probably have to go down here does that work like that for her yes that's where the doctor always does it does him oh mark's doing it his own way baby he's he's uh dr mark's here and dr mark's doing you know his own and you know how the drill works yeah keep your feet flat it's gonna be really high 181 over 109 yeah i knew it was well we'll say it again 181 over 109 right now it's because she's in pain and she's pissed off no i'm pissed that's a hypertensive crisis yeah that's our first hypertensive crisis that is you you call 9-1-1 hypertensive crisis i'm good well you're objectively not no it's been worse no but it's my doctor says as long as i don't stay at there i'm fine i get this when we've had a fight that gets this high oh yeah no i'm it's been a lot worse than that what her blood pressure's been a hell of a lot worse what uh my worst was when you slipped and fell in the bathtub and it was afterwards but um it was 210 over 120 i've never heard of that i already launched liquid assets my official gamer subs flavor raspberry apple and it's been selling like crazy here's the update the free gift stacking promo from christmas in july has officially sold out but the flavor hasn't zero sugar under one calorie 100 servings a tub same nootropic blend same full vitamin stack still just four scoops a day max code caleb still gets you ten percent off your entire order and there's still a shot one out of every ten that your tub comes with my face on it all you need to do is head to gamersubs.gg/caleb or click the link in the description below i just launched the brand new hammer elite app available on every major platform so you can watch every show anywhere you want you'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day monday through saturday refer a friend after you sign up and you get an additional 30 days of hammer elite access for free download the hammer elite app by using the link in the description or pin comment down below this is the best membership you'll ever join and that's a promise you're technically i didn't like you didn't even know there was anything wrong my doctor actually had me drive to the hospital um because there wasn't even an ambulance within 45 minutes of us to clarify absolutely everything and blah blah blah i am not a doctor not a medical expert okay all that being said i'm glad you're starting to lose weight because right now you're technically at least according to this chart okay oh yeah and a hypertensive crisis and that is i'm scared for you you're a mother of children right that's why i'm working on myself that's a that's why i've gotten serious about what they advise to call 9-1-1 yeah i know which am i up by not calling 911 right now no we're good i know my body i will tell you if i get concerned no no she will i will agree with her on that she will yeah she will let you know she knows her body more than you think she does i call 9-1-1 if someone's bp is what was it 181 109 109 okay i'm gonna follow its advice you can take that off because i do not want to uh something up no i understand and i'm just i'm not willing to allow a guest i understand i'm not so i'm just i'm going to follow the advice of what is given here you can call 9-1-1 if you think you're concerned enough i don't know i'm just not willing to understand lose someone on the show no i understand um if there is do you have chest pain or shortness of breath no no headache nope fusion no vision changes no okay okay that's what it says call 9-1-1 we don't need like i said i will let you know if i get i appreciate that but i don't really give a about your concern because i am in the position where this is my office and i do not want someone to die in front of me no um okay that's capital one four thousand four hundred ninety dollars and sixty five cents with a hundred fifty six dollar minimum payment are you sure we should continue if this is pushing you to that limit i'm good okay uh you're purchasing who who is this the card's in my name that is who's purchasing both of us well it's maxed out you're purchasing on a card that you're only putting minimum payments to it's going to take 20 years to pay off you will not be alive on this current trend to be clear and you will be out there like children or something i don't know what you do but you look like it apple apple real short that was when i was recovering from surgery and i was on a binge of watching shorts it's yeah i know i shouldn't have done it well that was two months ago uh chick-fil-a and an apple bill like what the are we doing like all the purchases are for oh that's the smutty videos yeah he's not giving it to you so get down there make sure you wash those hands because i know oh i don't do that that's i don't do that masturbate i don't it's okay to masturbate i'm gonna let you know i know you're a approaching 40 you're still allowed to i i think right is that is it devon is it legal for 40 year olds to masturbate yeah i'm just concerned okay you're good and lightning's not gonna get you maybe um these are not life necessities right okay gooning is not a life necessity chick-fil-a all these apple bills are not life necessities yes sir discover hey it's kelly roland you may not know this but i have eczema so i get how it can steal your time but why let eczema take over when you can talk to your doctor about ebglis ebglis labrakizumab lbkz a 250 milligram per two milliliter injection is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older who weigh at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema also called atopic dermatitis that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies ebglis can be used with a topical corticosteroids don't use if you are allergic to ebglis allergic reactions can occur that can be severe eye problems can occur tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems you should not receive a live vaccine when treated with ebglis before starting ebglis tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection paid partnership with lily respect your time ask your doctor about ebglis and visit ebglis.com or call 1-800-LILY-RX or 1-800-545-5979 who's discover hers the cards in my name not all the charges are mine no $805.73 with a minimum payment of $33 but we're purchasing only making the minimums towards the well inches is accruing credit scores are low 600s like what the f**k are we doing what did we purchase on uh some gas but also probably getting into bullshit in deer run trump that was mad deer run so that was part of my the cost to cover my treadmill it was the only small part that our fsa didn't cover okay well that part's fine because fsa covered the majority of the cost of my treadmill we don't know who said it but mika is actually saying that you deserve some good dick after this after being with this man for so long so thank you i don't know if he's volunteering but uh you go out there and dfw again oh speaking of that why was cps called because he hit one of the kids how is this episode getting f**king worse i've never heard that in this show i don't even know what the f**k to do just tell me the story just tell me the story i don't know exactly what happened i wasn't there what happened and i don't trust his interpretation and i got conflicting stories about what happened okay well tell me both stories i don't want to hear from him um so i got told at one point that she wasn't doing what she was told to do and she was talking what age uh eight okay go on and so the first time he supposedly yeah there were two different ones the first time he supposedly just laid into her spanking you just wouldn't stop from what i understand yes and the second time he said he hit her in the face you were present for the second time no i wasn't yes you were it was i was not in the room when it happened it was in your bedroom you were sitting on the bed doing you were sitting there looking at your damn phone you weren't paying attention she raised my hand she raised her hand at me while getting angry at you too and i slapped her across the face but like i said i did not actually see what happened but you were there in the room not paying attention You were there. So I'm supposed to pay attention to you every second of the day? Oh, I didn't say that. Okay, that's what you said. It was at night in your bedroom. No, that was our bedroom back then. Don't try to say that was my room. Anyways, the bedroom, you were there when it happened. Okay, if I was, then I guess I wasn't. But I did not know what happened. Because you literally inspected her face and there was not a mark on her face. But you get a phone call from the school saying there was a handprint across her face. And the picture that they took was a bright red print like it had just happened. And the picture didn't, when they, CPS showed up to him. Was it hand size? Oh, no, it was a lot smaller. So it was probably from school. School, yes. Okay, but the first one, you just wouldn't stop wailing? No. It was her, yes, I whacked her across the butt and I missed and I got across her waist and said. Exactly. But they did, because CPS had him show up to the mark that was on her face at that time. And his handprint did not match it. And that's why I said I cannot say exactly what happened. Because they were like, this just happened. And I was like. According to what she told me and he told me it was the day before. So I didn't know. And the attorney that I had, that was when I actually, right after that was when I actually filed for divorce. And everybody convinced me to stay. And it stayed on file until what? I don't know. A few years ago? Something like that. But everybody convinced me, my own, even my own personal attorney convinced me to stay with him. And I did, I had to, I did have the papers drawn up. Yes. Do you promise to beat your wife? Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Use her in sickness and in health? I do. Tell me. Um, once I got knocked out. I did not knock you out. I don't know what happened. I woke up to an ambulance there and a police officer. All right, so what happened that night? You and I got into a full on blown argument. You tried to stop me from going out the door. I pushed you aside. I did not hit you. Okay. Like I said, I don't remember what happened. Okay. I called 911 to have him check you out. Okay. Like I said, I don't know. I don't remember that. So they called the sheriffs after I explained what was going on. I got arrested. Stop. Why? I want you to get the fuck out of my studio. Security's here. You're a piece of shit, evil, disgusting creature. Please make sure he doesn't talk to anyone. I'm concerned for your safety after this show, to be completely honest. I'm concerned for your kid's safety. I had to message him and tell him to come. I was concerned of kicking him off if he would lose a fit. If he'd go crazy. This man is the most evil mother that has ever been on the show. Beating kids. How many times has he hit you? I am so sorry. And sadly, I tried to leave. And everybody told me I was better off with him than without him. I even got divorce papers drawn up. And they told me I would regret doing it. And sadly, I stayed. They are. Everybody was wrong. Everybody was wrong. And everyone. Every. I don't. I don't even know. And sadly, once I lost all my family through everything, it was like. I couldn't. Lost your family? So my mom passed away. And after that, I went no contact with her parents because I found out they'd been lying to me my whole life. Jeez, for f***'s sake. What is happening? I found out that they were protecting a registered sex offender and exposing me to him and I didn't know. God, I can't. I can't. This f***ing episode, man. What is this? So, I'm working on bettering myself because I've been through hell and back and I didn't give up. Let's start with the first thing to better yourself. That's why I came to you. Because I need to get this done too. Get this man away from your kids. Yesterday. Get yourself away from him. I'm a. Dude, listen. This show gets crazy, gets wild. I don't want him to be f***ing triggered and lose his shit after this, okay? I get you. I understand. I appreciate that somebody. Somebody is finally. Taking my side and not telling me to just deal with it. I appreciate it. Just deal with it? People are saying that? Yeah. They told me that he was a good guy. He didn't mean what he's done. He would get better. They said he took anger management and everything would get better and. I'm sorry. Someone who cheats 10 times. Someone who won't let you go through his phone right now even though you've made that deal. Someone who literally has knocked you out and was gaslighting. I'm sorry. No one knocks someone out from the story he told. He is gaslighting the f*** out of us right now. There is no. Right? Mm-hmm. He knocked you out? Okay, you tell me what really happened because he's not. So, I don't know what led up to it. I don't remember. A lot of that day, I know we've gotten into an argument. Because you got hit? They don't know exactly what I hit on the porch, but I was out when EMS arrived. You were out? And that's why you can't remember anything? They said that's possibly why. They don't know if it was because of the trauma of what happened and my body was just trying to protect me from it or if it was that I hit something that hard. Okay. Sorry. You tell me exactly what you think and remember then. I know we got into an argument and I was outside. We were talking and I thought everything was better. I don't know if he hit me. He pushed me. What? But I was knocked out. EMS arrived. I woke up to a medic attending to me. And he got arrested for a warrant outstanding for a ticket he didn't take care of that I didn't know about. And I ended up getting checked out. And they told me everything was okay. There was no. They couldn't find any injuries in the ER or anything like that. Poor woman. I'm so sorry. And the second time he had hit me in the face. Jeez. Fuck. What happened next? Because you remember that time, right? We got into an argument. Yeah. What were you fighting about? I don't remember the exact argument. It's been a while. But I remember that he got mad and I tried to walk away. And he shut the door. And we kept arguing. And then he smacked me and I had a handprint across my face. Okay. Well, just first thing. Listen, I've worked with my therapist for a while and he's helped me a lot. I'm going to get you to sit down with my personal therapist. He's not an employee of mine, so he doesn't report to me or anything. You would be a client. I'm just paying for it. Okay. So you need to work through some deep shit that has happened. And I am so sorry for everything that has happened. And I know this doesn't. I mean, I'm just. All the resources I can give you, right? Yeah. Obviously, budget nap, course career certification to get a better job. I got to get you everything. But we're going to send you as many resources as we can. I'll take them. To like resources to get the f*** out. Al, personally, I want to verify some extra things that has happened here to make sure nothing is lying. I will get you 5,000 hours from myself to make sure you're able to like get a place and get away from him. Whatever it is, I'll give you 5,000 bucks. We have to verify a few things before that happens, but I'll do that. No, you're fine. Well, I'm literally being told he like ran out of the building. My security guard's standing outside of the building right now. And we can't. And we've lost him. Hopefully, he doesn't go too far because he's got the key to the rental car. Oh, do not drive with this man. Uber or something. But I mean, all my stuff is in the rental car. No, no, no, no. I need you. I'm scared. So, I need to get our stuff at least. But he has the key to that rental car. Security said. He said, quote, I don't give a. I'll just walk home. Dude, this is. Did the police believe you in all this? No. Cool. Well, the officer told me, flat out told me that if he didn't care and he didn't regret what he did, he wouldn't have come back and called them for me. Because I was still out when the officer arrived as well. What else has he done? Done. Biggest thing has just been the cheating. No, I think the biggest thing is hitting the kids and hitting you. I would say. And the constant cheating. But even the. It's his phone over there. We wouldn't be able to get in anyway. Because I don't know his code. Of course not. Okay. Listen, in this situation, this household, this is the actual reality of what is happening. Oh, I know. The income that came in. The payroll hit of $5,500. And then payday advance hit of flex. You flexed $1,700. That's our rent payment. So I have it. Okay, so you split it in two? I split it into two to make sure. That's crazy. The spending here was $7,065 on a household that brings in $5,560. Which was less than the $4,200 I'm calculating from what you guys gave me. Unless I'm missing something, $4,700. Maybe he worked more hours. Maybe you did. So the last paycheck he got in August. He had their quarterly bonus. Yeah, so you should make less than that. Listen, you will never be able to get away from him or get him away from you and rescue the kids and be able to take care of the kids if you spend that much more money than you bring in. Nothing will ever be fixed. You will always be dependent on him. You'll never be able to get away from him. This man has trapped you into, you're the one that's 39, into your four decades now. Four decades of not being, of not having freedom. Terrible family, terrible man. The only way out is to get your finances under control. And I'll help with that a little. Yes, and we'll get the resources and we'll try to get you a place. You take control of your health. You take control of your finances. You cannot spend more than you bring in or you will never get away. You will always need someone to come in and take care of the bills. I appreciate that. Listen, at the lower income level, when it's just you and not him, you will, which by the way, I know what you guys agreed, report all this to the court and drain his ass of child support. I don't give a f*** about that agreement you guys did. Dude has hit the kids and he's hit you. We'll verify with some police reports before we, you know, go further and help you to make sure you're not lying. But either way, yeah, drain his ass of child support. Get them in daycare that is subsidized and funded. I know we do that here because you'll be on a lower income. Get all the help. You're the kind of person where I don't complain about the government benefits of people like you that fall back on it. You're the ones that it's there for. You can't be getting your Chick-fil-A nuggets for lunch every day. You can't afford that. You can't be getting your little refresher. You are on a strict meal plan and following a hardcore budget ain't going crazy. Okay. The fact is, listen, in here we have 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20. Yep. 20. 20. 20. 20. Individual different loans, not including the individual firms. That is just one. We have a 401k loan. You have student loans. Okay, his 401k loan, he can go f*** himself. From medical loans to Upstart, repossessed cars. Unhands, yep. Auto loan, OpenSky, Double OpenSky. You have a self loan. You have a credit builder loan, a mission loan, Navy Federal Credit Union, and all those firms. Yep. Rooms to go. All of this stuff. You will be forever- In debt. Trapped. No, no, no, no. Trapped. He's only there because of the money, right? If he wasn't making money, would you still be with him? No. Exactly. So the further you take care of this and get rid of the risk over your head, then he's done. Can I tell you something? Okay. Do you want to hear what his solution to this debt was? Sure. When I mentioned that I had applied for this, he told me, well, we're going to pay off the 401k loan, and then we'll take out a new one to pay off. We'll take out all this debt, and then the loan can come strictly out of my paycheck. That was his solution. It doesn't fix behavior. That's the issue. And I told him, that's why I said, well, I want to come on here, because at first he didn't really want to come. I said, because I need another perspective, because apparently I can't get any help from you on trying to get all of this cleared, and I want to get rid of this, because I know this is not beneficial for us to have. Why did he come here today? I don't know. Probably because I asked him to, but I knew he wasn't really, didn't seem like he really cared. Why is he still with you? I don't know. Wait, actually, I do know, because he can't do it on his own. I don't care. I'm being told from Devin right now that he was lying the entire pre-interview about things he was telling our story producer and all this stuff. He's just a liar. He's a gaslighter. He's a cheater. He's a beater. He's a bad person. He's a toxic individual. And he's someone that there's only a few people we've had to put into a system. I'm going to put him in. I'm going to put him into a system, and my people are keeping an eye out for him everywhere. Because I'm scared. I'm scared about him. He's going to get his fucking head blown off if he gets anywhere like 50 feet of me. But I'm concerned about him. I saw the truth now. That's important. Because I was stupid enough to continue to believe his lies. Yeah, he's ex-military. Jeez. Yeah, I'm even more scared. Luckily, my security, the ones that we keep around my house, are also ex-military, and they'll blast him. I bet they're a better shoot. They're a better shot. Man, so like, what is he doing right now? You've been around him. What is he feeling? He's probably upset that he got caught. He didn't think he would get caught on here? I don't think he thought it would all come out. What the fuck? Is he? Okay. So he had only seen the little bitty TikTok clips of your show. He's never actually watched a whole show to really know. Yeah, but he saw the onboarding videos. I don't think he ever paid attention until the one today. I don't think, I don't know if he actually watched the other ones. Yeah, until the one today. You didn't watch it with you? Mm-mm. What the fuck? Well, I guess that's not my fault. He told me to take care of it. Oh, great. Well, okay, that's on him. I don't give a shit then. He can go fuck himself. I'm concerned for you after this. I am. Are you afraid of what would happen after this, after you leave today? Oh, well. Because I don't know how he is. What can we do then? I don't. He's hit you before and knocked you out. I was stupid enough to listen to everybody to just keep going that he didn't mean it. It was just a mistake. That's like what everybody's drilled into my head. And it's hard when everybody, including your own personal attorney that's supposed to be there to protect you, convinces you to stay. Okay, I think we're going to have my security help deal with that then. Because I don't know what the fuck he's going to do. Listen, the reality is, this conversation took a turn that I don't think any of us were expecting and that I wasn't expecting. And there's a lot here, right? Yeah. I'm just, I'm going to pay for my financial advisor to sit through with you and go through all this in detail, okay? And make a budget with you and give you a lot more in-depth shit than, you know, we would even do on the show. So that's going to be more beneficial to you, okay? I appreciate it. So that's what's going to happen. The therapy and everything, course careers and chime, all the good stuff. It will get you all of it. Okay? Yeah. Okay. I, whatever the fuck. If that wasn't crazy enough, I guess she has something else for the post show. If you want more insanity, subscribe to Hammer Elite. Three premium shows every single day, six days a week. Click that join button to join or go download the Hammer Elite app or go to hammerelite.com. Same on both platforms. Just want to give you more options. Three shows a day, every single day, six days a week. Oh, it's this. It's the Attorney General. Yep. You have another child you're not telling me about. Fuck. All right. We'll get into that in the post show. Fuck me. I can't even imagine what's possibly coming in this post show. If that wasn't fucking crazy enough, if she wasn't willing to talk about whatever this is. I also think that he was trying to kill the kid that stopped breathing in his lap. What is hap- Why, why is life like this to you? I don't know. Why is life like this? Well, I would say that's the reason for cutting them off, isn't it? He was supposed to get four years in military prison. He only served two. They gave him good behavior. I think he might be the most evil husband. We've had on this show, which is saying a lot. He tells people that he had sex with his daughter. Even if that was consensual, why the fuck is he telling people? I just launched the brand new Hammer Elite app available on every major platform. So you can watch every show anywhere you want. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day, Monday through Saturday. Refer a friend after you sign up and you get an additional 30 days of Hammer Elite access for free. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pin comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join. And that's a promise. If you think you have interesting finances with an interesting personality or a story or a life or relationship, I will personally pay you to take time off of work, fly you down to Austin, get you personal transportation, a hotel, food, and we'll have a great time hanging out. Go to calebhammer.com slash apply or click that link in the description below. Star Wars The Mandalorian and Grogu is now streaming on Disney+. Disney+. What are you waiting for? Hop on. The must-see galactic adventure comes home on Disney+. This is the way. Our only chance is to work together. I like this kid. Always wear your seatbelt. Star Wars The Mandalorian and Grogu. Now streaming on Disney+. Rated PG-13. Star Wars The Mandalorian and Grogu.