I Just Had Sex (Part 1)

it's the lonely island and set myers podcast i'm the guy with technical issues today well i'm still gonna start talking in this light fine with his facial hair yorm kind of looks like um a handsome guy what's the old nix player like the all-time great nix player walt frazier yes he looks like he does look like walt frazier screen grab walt frazier yorm because i think people are going to think this is a crazy thing to say wait don't change your look though yorm oh yeah yeah no no no no go back to how you were when you were studying up you fucking don't you have to be backlit you were so backlit that it was not clear you were a white person look at your screen don't look at us look at oh i'm doing it looking at your computer the way you were doing it well i don't know what i was doing yeah yeah right there that's close stay there but don't be looking at us and smiling yeah you don't understand how to look what does he look like the way walt frazier would look what kind of looks does he do look to the who you were focused on something look down where you were focused stop trying to be a part of it and just be no no no is that good you am i doing it i don't know it was almost gold okay next time it's whatever you were focusing on yorm you were looking down focusing on something now hey uh next person audition for the walt frazier biopic we got yorm at tony hey love your work yorm love gin girls hey i'm gonna i'm gonna hit a two-pointer i'm just gonna go you did write a height on your resume any and it's clear now that that's not gotta say guys i'm fucking shrinking like like lincoln if you know what i'm talking about oh i'm not thinking hey all right real quick since we talked about next two of the shock jocks were in new york city last night how loud did it get yorm you go first because i have a i have a small deal we immediately the moment they won our friend josh was over i woke up my son for the fourth quarter who was asleep and then we hopped in the van the dwagon and drove up to smith street which was popping off it's probably i don't know four hundred to a thousand people i'm not good with numbers and the police were out in force because they had been shut down the week before by the commissioner of new york yeah so there's just lines of police officers and then we went around and just slapped five with just a wonderful amount of people and the confidence to drive a vehicle that's like begging to get set on fire into a celebration tipped over with us in it very easily yeah it's almost like i feel like someone's like we gotta be better than this we can't set a taxi on fire and then the dwagon pulls up and they're like oh that we can do well here's the thing i kept screaming don't light the dwagon on fire so that helps i do think that helps the dwagon is kind of riot nip yeah it is it feels like the dwagon is full of people who care not for the fortunes of the knicks that's why i brought my son because i was like they're not gonna kill a kid so he was a shield oh you brought your kid as a human shield oh 100 i kept i kept holding him up don't burn the dwagon don't burn this look he's a little guy look at him he's just like this little wagon it's not mine it's his don't burn two little guys they were let an adult drive this quade sent in a lot of other names for the dwagon which we will get to okay it's gonna be hard to beat the dwagon um anyway mine real quick was i made a dinner plan weeks ago and so i didn't get that pub right next to medicine square garden midtown no joke that's midtown no i'll name drop well we can bleep it oh my god and the meal was delicious and right around the end of the meal you could hear the city starting to like shake as it was becoming clear that it was going to be a big meal and i was like oh my god i'm gonna be a big meal we're closing in and i mean this is like one of the fanciest restaurants in new york and you looked around at our table and every other table in the restaurant everyone just had their phones out just watching it and like every time a shot went in being like wheels like not wanting to insult the somalia and then they finally won it and everyone went fucking batshit and then the drive home the part walk home part drive home was basically like the movie warriors yeah like just every single corner like people lighting shit on fire and attacking each other and i was like whoa no this isn't this is not befitting of an older gentleman who had a nice dinner i unfortunately had a dinner reservation last night at a tex-mec place called san antonio sam's yeah yeah that's just bad luck the mood was sad yeah well it was worse than sad uh they definitely congregated nicks fans congregate around it as though it was uh where the enemy was right right right definitely a lot of mookie cosplays and i was like oh my god i'm gonna be a big fan of that movie i'm gonna be a people throw in a full trash cans through the window mookie cosplay i was at wemby's piano bar oh no yeah total coincidence by the way nothing to do with basketball yeah but yeah they burned it down it's like very french themed right a lot of edith p off stuff a lot of edith p off stuff but still it got mookied he got mookied a lot of stuff got mookied last night my friend opened a boots and spurs shop that got totally mookied out the wing just a lot of places got mookied last night wimpy i would say i completely enamored with wimpy and now he might be like i'm actually going to be a villain i'm actually going to be an nba villain i mean nicks fans hate him more than anything on earth yeah because of the smush he kind of went hollywood hulk hogan a little bit i kind of agree like at first when nicks fans were mad at him like oh well this is just new yorkers don't like people who are good at stuff that is in the way of what they want and then i'm like oh no he might be villain shoving brunson the way he's doing it i don't know i don't know he did was like the first like wait a minute his sweet face i both understand their anger and also thought it was funny that he like mushed him and then giggled yeah he's like i'm big i don't know the way he dropped his foot it looked like he like purposely was trying to hurt brunson a little bit i don't know i don't know weighing in the comments guys i don't know i think everyone listening every quaid we know for a fact is deep into this sports convo but this is again we've always said it's a recapping shorts and then culture at large that's right that's always what we've said since episode one go back and listen to episode one don't listen too closely uh yorm and i had a night on the town we were a couple broadway babies on thursday uh mike shore and pete gross joined us and we went and saw maya and old mary you've already done this andy it really is yeah you were not being hyperbolic any of that show like she is on one like it is relentless i actually thought it should come with a little bit of a warning because my throat was hurting so bad from the relentless laughs from the show you're they're not gonna pull your quote and put it on the poster dude yeah it's too late here's something that the quote you could use i laughed from start to finish and i still laughed a third as much as you armed it like if they did if you i wish i thought i had to get a cackle track from yorm was so delighted yeah and like it's in shock like it was so fun to be next to you i was the but i don't think that that yeah i just like spending 42 on drinks yorm in the end bought it but he did yorm was running a little bit later than the meetup point and did text ahead like can someone get me a 40 margarita which i thought somebody that's a great understanding of of broadway that's a good move yeah if you're gonna be late definitely ask for stuff um mike shore said something that should be a quote on the poster which is he was constantly uh excited about three seconds into the future like that's how that show made him is that at every point you knew that it was gonna be better and different and more exciting so you were just constantly in a state of joyful anticipation he was like comedy future tripping yeah um and having seen the show a few times it was also that thrill of knowing there's like two or three incredible set pieces that you were getting get to see maya do and well god well you guys had seen it before for me it was all brand new i still haven't seen anything so i'm out here no better we got room for you there's uh there's room for eight million and one stories keith come out here i'd love it um that's your new york pitch i apologize for anybody who watches corrections and will re hear this but it's such a good burn on bays that on game four bays a big nicks fan uh the greatest comeback of all time that night bays his wife had got him tickets to see a giant on broadway uh which is john lithgow playing roll doll he's great it's a it's sort of a long play about a roll doll and anti-semitism and he was it was like like bays kind of always looks like a guy who just found out that's what he's doing on the night of a nicks game so it very much fit his mood but uh a producer on our show also went and said when they sat down and this speaks to uh the brilliance bays bays said uh lithgow nicks oh because bays also uh he was he kind of struck out with me because he sent me a text i rarely have to ask him uh what he said about the show i don't know what he said about the show i don't know what he meant uh but he had a pitch for the name of the uh your van oh he goes i think the van should be called van mccaffrey does that make any sense to anybody no no sorry wait that's bays or lithgow's pitch no yeah no it's oh man that's bad that's a bad reflection on bays that's so bad it must have been a lithgow pitch no mccaffrey and mccaffrey was an american writer known for the dragon riders of pern science fiction series hell yes okay now i don't know back on board back on board i do like that she was the first woman to win a hugo award for fiction and the first to win a nebula award also um dragon riders of pern sounds like a fake book that a keenan character would have written in a james anderson sketch could be the dragon riders here's what i'll say though seth the reason it threw me off is because van is a name you know it's look i think he owned that it was it did not land yorm you could call it van hammersley that's true i you guys dragon is my heart um here's a couple i know you're very happy with dragon yorm but uh riders on the yorm yeah that's like a subheading total decal like a total recall but total i mean if total decal that's Decall. Decall. Total decall. The boy with the dragon van. I guess that's the girl with the dragon tattoo. Yeah, that's a stinker. The best one was dragon van colon D-van. Well, that's what I was wondering is, should it be D-wagon? D-wagon. The long version being the dragon wagon. Right. But it's pronounced D-wagon. So the other one was, yeah, D-wagon colon the dragon wagon, based on D-word dinosaur wars. The dragon wagon, also known as D-wagon. Dramamine. Yeah. Right. Just going to do a quick rundown of comments that a lot of people had. Many people during the Stumblin' episode admitted they also thought the lyric was walking in slow motion. Oh. Yeah. Wait, but I actually double checked and it is slow motion later. It's just watching. Yeah. Watching in slow motion. Yeah. Here was one on the Instagram for the dragon wagon. It's dragon Seth to my van sectomy. Oh. Dragon Seth to my vasectomy. Van sectomy. Vasectomy. I'd like to have him feel like he's not being dragged to it, but it's like an opportunity for friendship. I posted a photo of us backstage at O'Mary and someone in the comments said, I hope at intermission you took Jorm to get his vasectomy. There's no intermission in O'Mary or else I, of course, I wouldn't. That's the only reason. It's the only reason. Harpoon van. These are on the Instagram. I do like harpoon. Vancesters protect me. Can we get three Alvins in the owl van? All good subheadings. Puff the dragon wagon. Yeah. Well, we had a puff one. You could add dwagon to all these. Puff the dwagon wagon. Oh, it's salacious bee crumb is the name of the character, which is the fact that he has a middle initial, I think, continues to make it. He's very fancy. Salacious bee crumb. So that means in like Jedi worlds, they have middle names that they initial. Yeah. Well, there was already a salacious crumb in Jedi sag. Oh, my God. I hope it's Bartholomew. It's got to be. Salacious bee. Bee crumb. Tatooine, right? I believe that's a Tatooine person. Any relation to our crumb? Yeah. Yeah. Could be Bart. They're both similar kind of scraggly weirdos. Oh, this is a suggested. Andy, your job of the hut, Bib Fortuna is quitting to go work for a different hut, let's say. And will you please, as job of the hut in the style of Will Arnett in Hot Rod, try to tell Bib to wait. Bib. Bib. Bib. Bib. Bib. Bib. Bib. Bib. Bib. Bib. Bib. Bib. Bib. Bib. He can speak English. Wait. I like it. Sorry. Is Hut his last name? Is that what you're saying? No, he is a hut, right? He's a hut. He might be the hut one might go so far. I would never say that. Speaking of Hot Rod, a comment. Someone went to Niagara Falls Comic Con. There was somebody cosplaying as Andy from Hot Rod, and I walked by him and yelled, Quaid Army. Quaid Army. Quaid Army. Unfortunately, it was met by a what. And then I mentioned the pod and asked if he listened and got an um, no, sorry. So, like, if a guy who's cosplaying as Rod isn't listening to this podcast, like, what's gone wrong? There's a lot of pods out there. I went to a bar up the street last night, and then a group of friends were like, hey, our friend looks like Andy. Like, look at him. And then both of us looked at each other, me and the guy, and we both shrugged like, no, not really. Like, he's like 20%. If that. Oh, this is on me. Oh, also the last episode. Many people in the comments said, was Stumble in the name of the short you guys were talking about or the way Seth was talking? Very hurtful, because I was tripping over my words. Damn. Mean. Mean comment. Real quick. This is my bad. Like, two months ago, O'Brien sent me this voice note, and I feel terrible. So, however badly you feel listening to it, Andy, I feel so much worse for the fact that I forgot that he sent it in. Two months ago. Can we listen to that voice note real quick from Mike O'Brien? Here we go, baseball. Hey, I can tell that sometime in the next month, you're going to be covering Stumbling. So, I thought I'd send you a voice note, obviously. He helped on it. Get this into you. I mean. I just remembered. To be honest, it was probably my biggest week in my six years at SNL. He helped us a lot. He was with us the whole time, and we forgot. Just because I co-wrote a digital short. It was just kind of when the show went from being a job to me to more. Like a family. Oh. As cheesy as that sounds. I've got a ton of memories. This is a real burn. Andy and I coming up with the idea while chatting with Sudeikis in our office. Me, Andy, and Lorne pitching the idea to Paul McCartney backstage at Fallon. Yep. A lot of late night writing sessions with me, Andy, and Solomon in Andy's office. Just riffing. Basically, from Wednesday night through the show. God damn it. It was just me, Andy, and Solomon. We started calling ourselves the Three Musketeers. And it was a blast. It changed things for me. I remember like 22 hours into the 24-hour shoot, we looked at each other and we were like, I don't know if what we're making is good or bad, but I know that I'll remember this collaboration between the three of us forever and ever. Why'd you erase it? Well played. O'Brien erasure. I'm sorry, dude. Has O'Brien had his party yet? Oh, I don't know. That's a great question. But wait, I should address it. I should address it. Yeah, address it. All right. I'm sorry, dude. I forgot. I was so fucking tired. So tired. So tired. Yeah, I was so fucking tired. You were there. As soon as the voice note started, I was like, oh, right. He was there the whole time. Shit. It happens. No, the party is in two more weeks. Yeah, that wasn't good. Okay, so then I won't say what I know about it. I could put it in my calendar and try to go as more of a correspondent for this podcast. I'll tell you this, Keev. I'll bring a little mic. I'll take some interviews. I know some top secret deets about it, and it sounds like it might be worth a tether. Okay. I mean, again, in our efforts to pad out this pod, I feel like getting Mike on a whole episode to talk about how well his Maverick party went would be great. I think that that's well worth investigating, you know? I'm on a boat. It was in, what is it called? Strands? Yeah, it was the Spangram. Yeah. So we must have all committed murders last week because we get winter soldiered. Winter soldiered. Ham was also our number one Quaid Army member. John Ham was in the crossword. It was a guy who was always raining on Maverick's parade. It was a longer. It was a longer clue. It was like, guy who doesn't understand that sometimes you need a stick jock, he's not afraid. Oh, my God. But once he buzzes the tower, you begrudgingly respect him. It was the longest clue I've ever seen in a crossword. And I feel like you guys, I feel like you miss this in Maverick. Like, he goes so much faster than, like, anyone. Oh, no, I don't think we missed it. That's right. Because a lot of people think it's the plane, but sometimes there's just, like, a guy who's, like, so much better at, like, pushing that stick. Right. It's like, it's not the plane, it's the pilot. Yeah. Yeah, it's the person in the box. But he's so much faster. It's nuts. He probably uses his two hands. Sometimes, though, like, at the beginning of the movie, it is the plane, because it's a really fast plane. It's, like, state of the art. It is, but even then. It's like a mini-mach plane. You gotta push it to the limit. It's got hella machs. Remember when we talked about Tar? Like, this is the moment where Tar dies, and then the rest is a dream, Keefe? Yeah, well, we talked about it with my Billy Madison theory. Billy Madison, Tar. Some people say, like, he dies in the beginning of Maverick. And the rest is a dream. Oh, the rest is a dream. Yeah. Of him, like, reconciling with Goose's son. The only problem is every moment from the beginning of the first Top Gun to the end of that movie is a dream. A dream for movie viewers. You know what I mean? Like, it's already, his entire life's been a dream. It's not like, oh, and then all of a sudden things start working out. It's certainly a dream for me as a viewer. Sometimes the quades are a little bit, their minds are a little dirty, and I don't care for their wordplay. Right, so give us an example. Pervs. Okay, if you want an example, wonderful. Someone said, I've taken to watching the digital shorts for each episode ahead of listening, so I have confidence. In context, I realize I've been pre-quamming. Well, you gotta be careful. Disgusting. Mind out of the gutter. You can still get pregnant that way. The problem now is, like, we've really left this on Nick's plate as to whether or not this will go in the Nicktionary. Although, is Nicktionary correct? The New York Nicktionary? Yeah. It's spelled with K-N, right? That's correct. Thanks. Hey, Lauren, this is my last comment, and then we're gonna get to I Just Had Sex. It's actually Lauren. Jesus Christ. Did anyone. Oh, real quick, two-part question. Did anybody in prep for this episode try to have sex with their wife this morning and follow up, did it go as badly as it did with mine? Like, just to get into headspace, were you like, hey, I'm doing this thing, it just might be cool? We were too tired because of the Knicks game. Absolutely not. I'm away, so. Lauren from Chicago said her husband and her recently visited NYC. They had downloaded the first two seasons of Digman for the plane. Okay. They're fans of the pod. And they were, like, laughing and joking about, like, oh, my God, we need to watch them before we get to New York so we can. Oh, in case they see me. Well, in case we see you, they'll get a quote. Yeah. Then they said, we sat down for our last dinner in the West Village, and Andy was at the table next to us. You are shitting me. What? And they were too nervous to ask for a quote, but they did quietly quaid army while you were leaving. Thought you didn't hear, and then something clicked. And you. Doubled back and gave them a very satisfying righteous quid. Do you remember this, Andy? Keeve, like, not to dunk, but it's been every restaurant I've gone in in New York. Oh, yeah. It could be any number of wonderful quids that I righteous killed in the last couple weeks. In the West Village? West Village. It was either. And I obviously will bleep all these restaurants because we're gatekeepers. Yeah, you're hitting all the trendy spots. Yeah. - Not the house. where Alf's dad sucks. Was that in the West Village, Seth? In the 80s. In the 80s. Yeah, in the 80s. It was? Geez. They ruined the city, guys. You just wanted to add to the bleep train. Such a perfect one-to-one. Like A to B in Seth's brain is my favorite. I feel like now I'm going to have Pavlov's dog every time I hear a bleep in anything. I'm going to be like, oh, bleep house where Alf's dad sucks. We got to figure out where the address was so we can go visit. We'll bleep these restaurants. Oh, yeah, and Jorm's phone number is bleep. No, I also thought, Seth, that it's not Alf's dad. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Alf's dad's back on Milmac. Yeah. You're right. That is such a smear because Alf's dad's like, dude, I didn't suck bleep at a bleep house. The character Alf's dad. Or, sorry, he was probably like, hey, because he would sound like Alf. Hey. Is that how Alf sounds? He was like, Seth, Seth, I didn't smoke the bleep. That's the dad. Yeah. Don't eat the cat. Yeah. Smoke the bleep. This will all be bleeped. I think, well, Milmac's different. In Milmac, you, what do you do? You smoke bleep in a bleep with no ape. What was that sentence? You suck bleep in a bleep house. Right, because everything's reversed there. It's kind of a John Bovey kind of a planet. Oh, sorry, you're right. That's on the John Bovey planet. And I'm wrong, too, because we had said that he was maybe Alf's dad, right? So, that's awesome. We've had a lot. When you get greeted on Milmac, they're like, we do things a little different around here. For our theory about that he fucked an aardvark and then brought home Alf, then Seth is right. So, maybe Seth was just still on the trajectory of that version. All right. I just had sex, you guys. This is a big one. This is a big one. So, this is the first one, besides what was that, that then became not for the album, after we did it, and went, oh, well, how about that's just the short, and got removed from the album. So, this is the first album track being put on there. And is this our biggest downloaded one? Not downloaded, but like streamed? This is our biggest, well, it's definitely. It's interesting, because I'm On A Bow went double platinum in the official old school way. Yeah. This went platinum. It's inarguably a better song. Yes, but this went platinum. But then, since then, whenever we get the metric, from like Spotify's and Apple's, it's by far, by double, every month it does double what I'm On A Bow does worldwide. Really? But because it's streaming, it's by far the most popular song we have. Yeah. It's our biggest song. So, is it based on more people are fucking than boating, do you think? Probably. Yeah, sex is way more accessible than boats. Yeah, despite the best efforts of the legislation. Also, like a lot of people have just had sex on any given day. Yeah, but how many are on boats? A fraction. Way fewer. Way fewer. Once we had writer's block, we would joke around that our go-to song was going to be like, I just had sex on a boat and I just. This is how you write a comedy song. Yeah, I just, in my opinion, it's like a boss. Let's go, Blamo! And then we'd all commit suicide. Yes, that'd be the end of it. Quit the biz. In the multiverse where there's like, you know, an infinite number of Lonely Islands, some of them did that. Yeah, well, AI would maybe. Some of them did just do a, yeah. Well, Andy, do you want to talk about your process of coming up with this idea? Well, I think this one was our process. You, me, and you, Jorm, right? We were. We did, but I think it was, I think it stemmed from you. This was one of the ones we've talked about in terms of where I went to bed with my pregnant wife in Encino and woke up and these guys had done a first. Oh my God, she is your MacGruber. Your pregnant wife is such your MacGruber. Yeah, exactly. My pregnant wife is my MacGruber. And then I woke up and they had done the first, chorus, because that's the beginning, because it starts hard right on it. And the first few lines, I think. And the first. I think you had most of your first verse. Yeah. So I think we've mentioned this before, maybe when we were first talking about making the Turtle Naked Chain album. But we had been going for a couple of weeks and we were like, I feel like we're putting a little bit too much pressure on ourselves to come up with ideas. And a few nights, me and Jorm decided that we were going to be like throwback musician types and smoke weed and try and brainstorm. We bugged around a lot. And we had weed, as it happened. We did, yeah. And we did, we had a couple of nights, Jorm, correct me if I'm wrong, not that you'll remember, but where we did this and a lot of ideas came out of it, including the song idea for Turtle Naked Chain, which you had been phrase-wise wanting to implement somehow and it was all how we dressed in junior high. And we jotted down the sentence, I just had sex, because I don't even remember when or why I came up with it. But we had like a bunch of ideas on our like ideal list, on a document, on our desktop. And then the day after one of those sessions, Phil Lord and Chris Miller came over and we were playing them stuff. But actually, Chris Miller sent a voice note. So why don't we listen to that? Because maybe he'll say it himself. I can pull it up. Do you want to tell them who Chris Miller is? Yes, Chris Miller and Phil Lord are our friends, first and foremost, but also wonderful writer-directors who have made 21 Jump Street, The Lego Movies, Cloudy with a Chisel, Spiders and Meatballs, Spider-Verse, Project Hail Mary. Kind of nuts. I'm sure I'm forgetting something else. Who hacks? That's huge. Am I right? They're great. The Brooklyn Nine-Nine pilot. Yeah, they directed the Brooklyn Nine-Nine pilot. And they were the producers of the Awesome Town pilot. Exactly. So we've known them a long time and we love them very much. Here we go. Okay, here's what I remember. And it's not very much. We came to visit you guys near McMansion. There was a bunch of amazing songs that you guys were working on. And there was a yellow legal notepad that had a bunch of song titles of things that you hadn't recorded yet and may or may not be doing. And I was looking through it and I saw I Just Had Sex. And I was like, that's it. That's the one. You had just done I'm on a Boat and it was a big hit. And I was like, this is the exact same false braggadocio of I'm on a boat but even more so. And I think that, Andy, you were like, see, I was telling you guys. And then I think we left and then you guys tried it. Thank you, Chris. Congratulations on waking up. It's early over here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it sounds like it may be you've been asleep for a few months. Congratulations. You're going to like to see the box office. Project Hail Mary did very well. Yes. My recollection was he looked at that phrase and said, what's that? I just had sex. And I was like, oh, I think just what it sounds like. And he was like, that's the one I want to hear. It's great. And then so that night we smoked marijuana, which is legal now. So. Right. Yeah. So it was it was even cooler at the time. Yeah, exactly. We were edgy. It wasn't. Was it legal then? Was it legal then? It was not legal. No, no. Well, we were fucking cool musicians. You had a guy. Because I remember like that was when Lauren would grill you guys really hard about whether or not you had smoked weed to come up with the ideas because he was very suspicious all the time. And he was to the letter of the law. Yeah. He'd be like, this one's pretty demented, guys. You sure you're in your right minds? Yeah. Hold on. You guys breakfast defectors. I mean, honestly, I think a lot of people would come up to us and be like, you guys must be so high. And we're like, very rare. Yeah. That's the main thing you get when you're a comedian where people go like, what were you smoking when you came up with that? And annoyingly, just had sex. We actually were. So it's like, you actually got us. We're very cliche. Which is the weird thing is like, I just had sex is a, you know, anger and it's fantastic. But it's way simpler than some of your other ideas that might have been more weed forward. I think that's partly why we were like, let's get high and like, release ourselves from overthinking. Let yourselves off the hook. Let's just do something stupid. Because I could definitely see you guys saying like, I just had sex is like maybe too. Well, and this is, this is no, I don't mean this as shade to Akiva. I think that it is actually saying that he's a smarter person occasionally than me and Andy. But some of those ideas that are really, really base. And Akiva, Akiva, like, correct me if I'm wrong, because I don't know if you would have stopped us. I don't know either. But I know the moment I woke up in the morning and you guys were still asleep and I was like, let's see what these goofballs got up to. And I saw a new folder and I clicked it and played it. I was very hyped. There was no question in my mind as to whether or not it was a keeper. I remember that you being like, that, that sounded good. That's a good start. Let's finish it. Yeah, I was not, I was not confused about what I had just heard. But so yeah, we were like, we had flagged that beat already, I think, because we always do that when we get sent beats where we're like, oh, that one sounds like big business. It'd be cool to come up with an idea for it. So did we already have a reason to think Akon would do a song or we just thought of Akon after we wrote it? I thought we did. I don't, I don't think we had any clue. I think we had an inclination he would, and I can't remember why, Keev, but like, because the, the very first demo version, I think it was me doing the temp being like, Akon. Yeah. Yes, to that, but I'm not, I don't think we knew that he was, but there was like, we taken over and all that stuff and he was, oh, he was definitely our top, top, top. Yeah. And he would always sing his own name right in the beginning, the preamble of the song. And we were like, it'd be so tight to have one of those the same way we were with D-Pain. We were like, shout out. And how we always wanted a DJ Khaled one, but did not get that. It's also really funny to say Akon and Lonely Island. You're just like, what? How did these guys get paired up? Also, he is, and we, this will come across when we watch it. He's so joyful the whole time. And that was how he was in real life. He's a delight. every moment we were with him he was just like hello like just so so happy he wasn't thrilled about some of the colder scenes no the cold his face was like frozen but we'll get to that yeah i found an old email i sent to myself with ideas for the song great okay um i haven't read them yet so this might be a bust okay there's two main ways it can go with sex one is you do great and she's super satisfied and everyone feels great the other is you don't do great but let's be honest that's pretty great too it still ends well it feels pretty great these are lyric ideas areas uh you know that feeling that you have when you feel so great well that's how i feel after i have sex there it is and then later all the men feeling good step out the door and sing and then a huge shot of like 30 doors all down a block and dudes come out of each one and sing the chorus emotionally and then this song goes out to the ladies that let us climb on them and flop around the world isn't fair plus you gotta have babies your patience and ability to endure us continues to astound that is such an indie lyric flop around well it ended up in there yeah it's fucking great this is a fun alternate universe to imagine is that you have you're working on this song this is like on your bedside table you go out that evening you meet a woman you have a passionate evening she wakes up first and she's like oh what's he been scribbling at and then she picks that up and then it's just a slow zoom in on her face with horror movie while she realizes she's had sex with the dumbest person with the dumbest ideas about sex thinking of which have any of you guys ever asked your wife to pork because i will tell you it doesn't go no it doesn't go a lot yeah i can give that a go yeah no you know what i should try it though i would love to i would uh yeah love to loop i know it sounds crazy but it almost seemed like she wanted me to do it this was all first thing hey who am i to argue with a good thing good thing i had my penis with me oh good thing i had good thing i had my penis um you should have put that in yeah that was a winner that's a more complicated lyric than some of the anyways i thought it was interesting i was like oh yeah some of the original ideas were in that email to myself this video airs december 18th 2010 the december slot there's a big it's the christmas episode lucky number to slumber we've hit the christmas now we've done lazy sunday we've done dick in um for any a young person who is a writer like i cannot tell you the value of what andy did there like anytime you have dumb ideas that you're like well i won't forget these they're too dumb like writing it down yeah emailing it to yourself having a like a rolling just notes app on your phone for like the dumbest ideas yep especially as you get older you fucking forget definitely the amount that i go to bed being like oh that's fucking good but i'm so tired i'm not gonna write it down now and then you wake up and you're like no gone forever it's like uh when i came up with the idea for stumbling completely without o'brien right totally what you should write down andy is who you come up with your ideas with i probably should i have this weird confidence death where i believe i just did it all on my own i feel like actually the people that collaborate with andy should maybe make sure he writes down they should every year text me like we did that together hey happy anniversary of that thing we did together now without looking at the rundown and if you already have this is moot who was the musical guest for the episode can you guys guess i already looked hey con eminem and lil wayne together wow and then the audacity of that our dumb rap can you even call it rap it's basically like words strung together yeah but you're doing the joyous kind of um i don't know what you'd call bounce of a ti yeah almost like as a as a north star not that you sound like him or doing an impression but it's got that kind of um it's ti coded as seth likes to say that is how seth put it yeah totally this shit is very ti coded it's weird that both of those guys didn't immediately like hound us to be like how can we be down yeah can we be on a song at good nights they were like we're not worthy and they started doing the wayne's world bow to you just before i forget this is a reminder that i was at this um tribeca film festival dinner uh last week and deniro was there and someone came up to me and like whispered in my ear like you're gonna talk to him about mr bernard slater and i do wish i just confidently went over and been like mr party at your house like hey do a voice note into my phone for the pod he's like what what what no no just do it just do later quids and just do it you know from recall it's from total recall oh my god you don't listen to the pod oh my god who are you a hot rod cosplayer anyway good to see you mr bernard whatever time it is today is the time we should record with cess so andy you found the shot list if we're bumping to that well do we want to hear a little piece of the demo yeah yeah we always talk about how we do the shitty temp so we actually were able to find two different demos so andy we're going to do a little piece of the demo and we're going to do a you found the one that we sent to akon where in the email i said i had cut some of the first verse down something must we must have discussed and then we had added added the key change the key change yeah so that one is two minutes and 56 seconds which the song according to wikipedia is 248 then i have another version that is probably from earlier so i'm going to play that one this is the demo from encino of i just had sex number seven sometimes something beautiful happens in this world you don't know how to express yourself so you just gotta sing and i did the teen witch to him i was like top that i will say i can hear myself in that chorus and i don't think it helped to make a nice man out the meanest never guess where i just came from i had sex if i had those horns they are so dope when i had the sex man my penis felt great and now i'm as happy as a man can be changed lines didn't see you there guess what i just did had sex undressed saw her boobies and the rest if you saw me do it you'd be greener than three shreks so my penis said thanks send it in a text hey world great news back there had sex not sure she enjoyed it but i'm feeling so blessed was sure nice of her to let me do that thing nice of any girl ever now a lot of differences three shreks is dope you'd be greener than three shreks fuck that shrek has stayed in the world that that holds up that holds up yeah people should start saying that to each other you wouldn't guess a topical thing like that would still be so real if anything more so today that dude was popping off like three shreks zero memory of that line fuck and then your arms was different yeah there you go those hey were very popular in uh pop rap at the moment yeah live your life and whatnot to be honest it almost seemed like she wanted me to do it doesn't really make sense but man screw it i ain't one to argue with a good thing good thing that i had my penis with me damn skipping i'm so humbled by a girl's ability to let me do it because honestly i'd have sex with a pile of manure with that in mind a soft night smelling girls better but she let me wear my chain and my turtleneck sweater i think she was a racist i think the condom might have broke i think she might have been my cousin that's weird yeah good changes so yeah some good changes and some questionable ones maybe really shrek shrek is the one like listening back like what do you guys think it was that you took shrek out i don't know i don't know because the rest the rest are definitely better what we came to later yeah good thing i had my penis with me is good but that turned into best 30 seconds of my life which is a big laugh yeah if you like this kind of thing you know well also i think like all those things that again the song works better because we know you guys are bad at it and like it's less cocky i'm impressed that we had made a song cultured and i can chain it and then immediately reference it well we have learned from our santana dvx references in the first one that it works and we like it had we already made turtle neck and chain though or we might not have i mean clearly yeah i mean we knew that we wanted to be dabbling in that area i just don't know if we had recorded that song yet i i think we we had to we had to because like you and i had we're just stomping around saying when we save it for the when we talk about turtle neck and chain uh okay i'm gonna play the other one which is this is another demo yeah this is a different demo that andy found okay this is the one we sent to akon sometimes something beautiful happens in this world you don't know how to express yourself so you just gotta sing i just had sex and it felt so good a woman let me put my fetus inside of her i just had sex and i'll never go back oh have you ever had sex i haven't felt great it felt so good when i did it with my penis a girl let me do it it literally just happened having sex could make a nice man out the meanest never guess where i just came from i had sex if i had to describe the feeling it was the best when i had the sex man my penis felt great and i called my parents right after i was done hey here's a list of places where i had sex this pad that's it saw her boobies and the rest on a scale of one to ten felt good google play so nice my penis said thanks in it in a text we did my favorite position known as froggy delight also known as missionary you were free damn right was sure nice of her to let me do that thing nicer than a girl ever all new ones in the places all new stuff hey froggy delight my favorite position called froggy delight also known as missionary you were probably like we couldn't do that in a video because like what would we be looking at it gets a little bit into um uh don't give a honk yeah just making its own bizarre shit exactly just falling apart and then what was yours andy it was also pretty good googleplex googleplex and here's all the places yeah that's my bed oh yeah that's it that's it yes there's some comedy ideas yeah again if the final version had been either of these versions uh absolutely nothing to be ashamed of musically though i will say all the sections we changed i think musically got like in a good way sanded down into a more pro sounding song totally the final version's better it's just nice to know that like it wasn't like it stunk you guys it's an interesting lesson because it's not necessarily funnier it's just musically better but it's it's interesting because i agree with you but some of those lyrics have a little bit more like there's more words in them and there's a little bit more word sound play that's going on but like we almost wanted these guys to be more simplistic i think more stupid stupid yeah three tracks though to be honest i'm surprised she even wanted me to do it doesn't really make sense but man screw it i ain't one to argue with a good thing she could be my wife that good the best 30 seconds of my life i'm so humbled by a girl's ability to let me do it because honestly i'd have sex with a pile of manure with that in mind a soft night smelling girl's better but she let me wear my chain and my turtleneck sweater this one's dedicated to them girls that let us flop around on top of them if you're near or far whether short or tall we want to thank you all for letting us fuck you she kept looking at her watch doesn't matter but i cried the whole time doesn't matter i think she might have been a racist doesn't matter i should put a bag on my head there we go i just had sex and my dreams came true so if you had sex in the last 30 minutes you qualify to sing with me i just had sex i just had sex and i'll never go back fun shit it's a very interesting point you make of like these guys making them a little bit dumber especially because the song is your most popular song and it's a reminder of like sometimes like being a little bit less clever in the lyrics is probably a some positive for also just when you're talking about this subject matter you have to believe that they are innocents otherwise it gets too aggressive and it ruins the fun of it like things like positions and things like that get a little i mean just they know too much almost right uh but it's a very funny they'll be like oh yeah no you guys took good really good stuff out and made it better so acon heard that and went i'm in we always have that moment when we work with these great artists where they send something back and we're like holy shit yes because all of a sudden it's real but never at least for me personally never to the degree this one was where when he said uh t-pain this one in t-pain yeah yeah yeah the t-pain was pretty good but he's so much more in this one even than the t-pain was in that one but the moment this started it was like oh my oh my god wait did what did what i think just happened happen where it elevated everything i mean you can just we'll do a listen through but just for a second let me just pull it up because i want to talk i want to look at this treatment together for a second and see what we didn't didn't do but i just want to hear the first chorus it's interesting also and it was the same thing with the t-pain demo on boat to hear when someone is an incredible singer and an incredible songwriter as well not just lyrically but melodically especially the moments where whatever choice i made in the demo assuming they'd make it better anyway but like they just choose a different note and it's the difference right it's like the difference between it being a global sounding thing versus like people making something in a room yeah there's a bunch of little choices he made that anybody who knows the song well just heard the differences of that are awesome yeah uh anybody want to guess how many hit our post on the lonely island youtube has has it has it hit 200 mil okay that's one guess or question 206 175 or you're you know something 211 i don't know do you already know um i'm not going to guess because i think i have a more a more clear idea of it it's uh 355 oh wow it just keeps going well off i was going to say 311 because amber is the color of yorm's energy yeah thanks andy that's actually true yeah i'm gonna pretend like i get it you know you whoa amber is the color of your energy by the band 311 got it got it got it now i get it obviously cut me singing please cut me sounded perfect why would i cut that let's get a con to sing that part can a con come in and sing the 311 just we're not doing the listen through yet but i just want to hear the difference of what came back to us sometimes something beautiful happens in this world it was right from that moment where it was like oh shit no oh shit what's happening it was like a dj that just goes rewind no no no no we gotta just start it over again it's literally like did any of you guys watch the travis scott documentary that came out a few years ago where like he plays the songs he's made for his friends and the second they start they all just go crazy and they're like we're gonna be rich i did that that was definitely the feeling we had on this one we were like god damn it you're also hearing you're also hearing it mixed now from stems and yeah i have a i have a question why didn't you wait till it was warmer like i mean it's immediately like the comedy of this is not that you guys have to wear earmuffs but it's obviously so fucking seth we don't go on when we're ready we go on because it's 11 30. it's definitely not a cool music video look that be wearing earmuffs we're gonna get to this but this is the coldest i've been in my life ever without a doubt yeah i believe it's because seth i believe it's because we were strategically like christmas it should be the christmas episode yeah that's great and this this felt like probably you also strategically are like we also should do it outside where it's cold right right right like there's an inside version beyond that though we shot this on the top of the met lifebook do you want to say the last thing which is when i think about ideal sex conditions right freezing cold the coldest i've ever been oh no for me it is that uh let's look at this real quick so this is a treatment for the video that andy found and this one is written in the format i would do but it's really clean compared to most of them and it's because it had to go to a not just did it with a outside of snl crew but it's from 12 9 so we were thinking about this a week earlier well the label paid for this right yeah that's what i mean so we knew this was going to music video professionals who expect a different level of clarity than snl people who know you're doing it overnight this is three pages which is very um ambitious and let's just glance through and see if there's anything interesting so the overview writes he shot this on a show a show week though correct like this is not definitely early in a show week but yeah yes how early in a show i want to say we did top of the met life building on like monday or wednesday yeah okay so i just looked real quick i do want to say something i just googled how cold was it in new york december 2010 and i just want to read december 2010 was unseasonably cold in new york yes the absolute lowest recorded temperature in new york city that month was 19 degrees on december 14th i think that's literally the day we were shooting i remember us talking about about how it was record low and with the wind chill it actually was negative seven and then we chose the second highest building that you can go on the rooftop of in all of new york city and not only that went above the rooftop which we will we'll get to that in a little bit it was so dangerous now the good news is i believe acons from the northern part of finland no don't jump ahead uh there were people measuring it and saying it was definitely below zero up there like people had things oh for sure i think it was negative seven yeah okay so this is the overview i want this to look and feel like a real acon video it should be bright and happy and fun shot with dolly and steady as well as helicopter and crane we didn't we never did helicopter but that's that's how bold the overview is helicopter and crane is your favorite new restaurant right seth that's what i thought you guys were going to call turtleneck and chain helicopter crane helicopter crane helicopter crane all right so rooftop performance on a waterfront rooftop going real you know dick in a box singing to the world helicopter shot steady on the roof possibly add fireworks to the background with cg a version of that happened we'll get to that yeah time square full performance them in the middle of time square singing while camera spins around them shots of the big screens to central park it's so funny that the first thing i just want to say it should be bright and happy and fun first shot middle of the night on the coldest it's ever been but look at how happy they are they're happy but like i gotta be honest like when you see people happy with earmuffs on not by a fire you're like i don't know if they're really happy i always keep screaming direction though happier and they couldn't hear him because they were wearing fucking earmuffs literally could not move his mouth he was like frozen in a smile it was the first thing his rep said was like he's from senegal he's definitely doesn't like cold and we're like cool cool cool cool well it's the coldest day in 20 years not a problem all right then we got a bunch of singles then we got the kitchen and he poured a little bit of water in the coffee living room or hallway and he crosses to the bedroom where there's a girl in bed and he crying while having sex girl putting a paper bag on andy's head girl not into the boobies in the rest line andy in bed with the manure dressed as a girl in a wig and bra this is all very clean yorm on the street exits house walked down the street old woman waters her lawn yorm rapster i don't believe that happens old man reads the paper on a porch i don't think this whole setup happened it ended up in the park we just found a fountain so then yorm in a bedroom bed with girl on the phone having sex while wearing his turtleneck and chain girl looking at her watch while they have sex girl being racist so we didn't know what that was yet uh there's the fast food setup that we do there's a steam room setup we really did a lot of these hair nail setup i remember for some reason doing the hair and nail salon setup and keev you're in that shot yeah and just us giggling so much and being like right now in this moment our lives rip that's not that's like we're making like a big-ass music video there's smoke out atmosphere all around this salon and we're in these stupid robes singing this stupid ass song and we're all together every now and again the moment congeals that like you're actually getting to do this stuff you know and we knew this song sounded good i remember having an excitement after knowing what i'm on a boat could do of the feeling of like oh this is gonna fucking blow minds on saturday night and that's an exciting place from our it's a departure from our normal like what the fuck are we doing like the song was already done so now we're just making the video to support it yeah and we already know that acon's in it not having to think of write and record and mix the song all like in the 24 hours before you shoot the video is definitely more fun yes exactly yeah shooting on monday is like a joy absolute joy rather than 48 hour film fest every week we called them armageddon shots and we've done them in other projects since which is the the classic of this project and we've done them in other projects since which is the the classic of this project and and how it affects people around the world yeah the electronic store with people staring at the window with the storefront yeah a home in china with a chinese family watching it an irish pub with a bunch of irish people watching it times square with people watching it where you're like trying to it's such a cheat code for when you don't have any money to be like it's happening everywhere in the world on video screens yeah but they're all teeny little sets on tron in tokyo we tried to do off of stock footage um i don't remember that one satellites in space picking up the feed rerouting these are possible stock shots obama's acceptance speech in chicago with the big screens oh that'd be playing on those screens love that joke didn't end up doing that one well we have that studio that wasn't ours or anything but when we were in new york and had to do actual recording yeah we would go to downtown records which was in soho and they had really nice studio uh that you can see in the beginning of the video and we would go to downtown records which was in jack sparrow because that's where we shot the recording studio scenes in jack sparrow was in the actual recording studio where we were yes yes cleaned up what was the hookup for that place well like what was the connection it was so downtown records the guy's name was josh something who owned it and that was the record label that was kind of this new little cool one that had signed as some of the earliest acts narles barkley and electric guest that's what it was yeah brother yeah yeah and so we got to know them and then when we needed a new york studio space he gave us a good to i think you know like to have it that's why we met um santi yeah because she was doing her album next door yeah in the other studio there were two studios yeah and so we ended up going there like we brought nikki minaj there that's where kendrick lamar recorded his stuff with us but then that's also where we mixed the albums when we needed in new york space not the first album because that was brian sperber and he did his house but the second album we definitely turn like a chain we got to actually mix in a real room yep but there was something that so acon he sent the entire thing and we decided we needed to do it in a real room and we decided we needed to do it in a real room needed one word of one thing changed to like have more separation and i don't remember what it was but it meant that we got to hang out with him in the studio like the day before we did the video and try to pick up some stuff yep and then leading up to shooting the video we must have had to reach out to blake and jessica right correct probably through snl i think maybe through the snl talent department and maybe through idpr which was and molly and carrie are our pr people maybe and was this before or after i think it was before i think it was before i think it was before i think it was after blake lively had hosted and done potato chip and all that stuff this was after so i think probably that was that made that a much easier call it wasn't after potato chip but we did the not a great short with them she like we did the was she in the one with the james franco one that we buzzed by but she wasn't the host my tiny little ghost wiener did she yeah did she come as just as a favor yes but that's like that will happen before not potato chip was after no no no potato chip was a year earlier what was the year after potato chip was a year after potato chip was was it yeah potato chip was 09 when she hosted well i just want to point out that yoram just said the the murray hill one was my tiny little ghost wiener i don't know why the word ghost got put in there but it made me immediately like it more yeah i know you know what it's in my mind it's always been better in the improvement yeah the um i do believe and yoram you can correct me from wrong that when we met her specifically to you though i think she was talking about that her and her brothers and sisters or something like that and she was like i don't know i don't know or or siblings i don't know that she has brothers and sisters uh her brother that they really like just two guys is that correct yes i believe it's her brother that was and and as we've said on this pod the short way to get into our hearts is to tell us that you i mean andy married the first lady that called him steve the cunt and that's the quickest way to to have us love you is that and i think she had said that and that's why we knew and i think i still have her brother's info call him right now in my phone put him on speaker put him on speaker so yoram i think with blake lively you just direct texted either her or her brother being like hey we're shooting a short would you come over and do it yes that's right it was it was not through any reps it was because of that see this is why you got to train numbers with everybody you guys that's why you need 3 000 contacts she came to us off the set of gossip girl so she was even already in hair and makeup i remember that oh wow and just came straight to us and was so cool about it delight and was a delight it was super fun understood exactly why everything was funny and and did it and alba as well obviously obviously yeah well alba though we had never met it was just a shot in the dark i think of like who could we get who would be amazing and we just maybe we got a list of people that were at least in new york city yeah i don't know maybe and i remember alba being like juice that she was like wait i'm not with andy this is even better i want to be with the guy who's the writer on the show yeah yo a banger's a banger yorm she was super game and she was a joy and obviously you can just see from her performance that she did it awesome but also it was crazy that we got both of them in this and nobody snl even knows and then we just bust out a video on saturday night and all of a sudden has these guests and all this stuff it was rad it also just speaks to how much attention the shorts were getting in that moment that not only would they want to do it but that everyone around them would be like yeah that you should right right it's pretty cool it was a yeah and also the fact that none of us had to go outside to watch it i'm trying to remember what brian tucker said but he came into the edit the way people always did the way we talk about work because we were just in that hallway and he watched maybe the first 30 seconds that i when we were editing it but we were only 30 seconds you're maybe you were there but for some reason it sticks out to me because we hadn't done something like this all year when he saw it there was some really nice way he kind of basically said there they are oh shit like as if it was reoccurring characters that hadn't appeared in a while and here they were again i don't think i was there for that particular moment i like tucker's sort of reoccurring role on this podcast as being the arbiter of when you guys have hit your peak yeah truly it's very true like i would feel the same way when uh tucker paid me a compliment on something i did he never gave them away cheaply yeah correct when he gave them away they were they were enthusiastic it was the exact thing we were hoping people would say of like right oh i like compliment from a deeply cynical person is more meaningful yeah and afterwards i remember this was the one where lauren between dress and hair said give me some of that weed yeah yeah what that shit you be smoking give it to all the writers it must be that bubonic chronic y'all puffing to cow y'all that's that kush give the kush out pass it around don't hog it why y'all bull garden up in that weird hallway give it to the others y'all blowing bomb bud this popcorn tastes like fucking shit it's too chewy i want to get blunted my brother you don't think i have five on it remember how he would never he would he wouldn't stop saying right when he was stoned he'd be like right right right right by the way our lauren impression just dipped off hard i feel like it was better last week it was more wine yeah yeah it's good but it doesn't work with the weed thing it doesn't the talent department keeps giving me the it's all seeds and sticks oh did you see that? oh did you see that? oh did you see that? i've been smoking all before i got here no stems no seeds no sticks i know i wanted the sticky icky yes the california boys no stems the californians actually came from because he kept being like bring me the californians and he thought he meant us oh my god i call green rip okay all right so quaid army we are going to make this a two-parter it is we've established the biggest short of all time and we uh have had a lovely preamble to it so before we get to the end of this episode jack black take it away spelling bee spelling bee i quibbied clean yeah congratulations and gotcha not only did i quibby clean huge i quibbied clean i quibbied clean six days in a row is that right seth wow yeah i have had one hint in the last eight days or something it's unbelievable i'm on an absolute fucking tear yorm and you love it this sucks for me to hear because i i stopped at nice today but when yorm gets nice should we hear borat go nice okay yorm you want to hit us with yorm what'd you get i got nice today wow wow you guys are very nice when we have sam is our ski on which is going to happen yeah i would love maybe for april fool's day that when you get the first one you hit high yorm is the level yeah it just says hi yorm and that's when you get one the first one i see uh andy somebody wrote this as like a challenge to you but i feel like you kind of already do it can i just read it real quick yes please um i have a challenge for andy achieve the level of queen bee by getting all the pangrams first i feel like you do that every day yeah yorm and i don't do that and that's probably why we haven't been quibbling with no well by all means start using shuffle let's see what you got okay i didn't even know shuffle existed okay well then you're really bad at the game by the way yorm i said to andy the other day because again i feel like i'm very good at this i'm just not a savant like andy i got genius clean no hints and i told andy that and he just wrote back you a yorm fuck that's a good yes just like i'm so proud of myself he's like you're still just a yorm bro you a yorm yeah i don't mind that i don't mind that dude but i buy fucking k trucks and fucking super mounts so you know my i just hit the four foot binger and now i can't stop coughing hey i know the next one but stop shaking my van i feel all twitchy we're kids in here I'm happy for you guys stop shaking it Wiley let them see your face Let them see your face They won't hurt a kid Smush your face up against the tinted glass Wiley show them your face You guys I gotta go Next week part two Love you guys Later Arnold Later Ghostface Later Quades Later Jack Later Quades Later Jack doing Arnold Later Quades Later O'Brien Oh so you do remember my name