"I Hid My Pregnancy From Nike To Save My Career" | Allyson Felix

Should she say that about the kisses? Is that weird? She doesn't care. She presses send. This is the love story of real hinge couple, Daniel and Roisin, written and read by me, Rufy Thorpe. Listen to the free audio book now. This episode is brought to you by ChatGPT. Hey, it's Bill Simmons from the Bill Simmons Podcast. Have you guys heard about ChatGPT work? It's the new way to use ChatGPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give ChatGPT work access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. Get started at ChatGPT.com by selecting work mode available on Plus and Pro plans. Hank joined BJ's Wholesale Club the day he became a father of 30. I coach football. Now Coach Hank saves up to 25% off grocery store prices, 30 pounds of pasta, three cases of protein bars, 75 sports drinks. And that's just pregame. He knows teamwork. And BJ's knows savings. This is your home, Coach. Home of the Save. Join for just $20 at BJ's.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months. Open soon. Limited time offer, new members only. BJ's, home of the Save. At some point you find out that you are pregnant. I ended up doing what a lot of women in my sport do. I hid my pregnancy. Allison Felix. Allison Felix. Nine-time Olympic medalist. Headless Allison Felix. You are the most decorated athlete in track and field history. I knew I wasn't going to have the typical college life. You find out that you make the Olympic team. I was the youngest for Team USA. Were you nervous? I never competed in front of a crowd that big. I remember diving for the line and that's when I was like, okay, it's going to take more than what I've been doing. Now the Olympics are here again. To me, that second Olympics was just devastating. I just felt the weight of it all come down on me. I just wanted to hide. And now you were training for the 2012 Olympics. I began to pull away the last 50 meters. And I remember looking up at the scoreboard. Was that the feeling that you had been hoping for? I go home with three gold medals and that should have been it, right? All the athletes are under NDAs. Nobody could speak about it. I felt like at least if I could get this change done, then that would be monumental for female athletes. You can do something even if you're scared. You can use your voice even if it shakes. Just because somebody puts limits on you doesn't mean you have to listen to it. You absolutely can do the big, crazy, audacious thing. You can't listen to these voices that tell you you don't belong. Speaking to someone who has been to the top of the mountain multiple times, it's not what you think it's going to be. And so if the top of the mountain isn't that, where does happiness come from? I think. It's such a huge honor to have you here. I just could not believe all of the amazing things that you've accomplished. Such an impressive feat is that you are the most decorated athlete in track and field in history with, what, 31 world medals? And 11 of those being Olympic medals. Is that right? Seven gold? Yeah, that's right. Wow, so impressive. I'm sure you've lost count at this point. And what I find so fascinating is even though you are such an amazing athlete, you actually didn't discover that you had this talent until a little bit later in life. Because as a dad who has. Three daughters. Like, I'm constantly being told, hey, get them in sports early. Like, if you really want them to excel at certain things. Like, the age just seems to get younger and younger. I used to hear that, hey, start when you're like 10 years old. Now it's like, start when you're four years old. But you didn't start until you were a teenager. Yeah, yeah, I know. I think it's getting a little bit crazy today. But yeah, I started in high school. And so I had a really normal childhood. And I played in my neighborhood. You know, nothing really organized. And then I found track and field when I was in high school simply because it was a new school and I didn't know anybody. And my family, like, encouraged me to go out for the track team to make friends. And yeah, that's pretty much how it happened. And right away from your very first day, did your coach know that you were special? Or at what point does your coach realize that there's something different about you? Yeah, it was like the first day, the tryout day, because that day he had everybody running 60 meter kind of runs. And so I remember doing that. And he was timing them. And he had kind of like this confused look on his face. He had me do it again. And then I remember the next time, like, he brings out this measuring wheel and like measures the distance. And I'm like, what is going on here? And so he's trying to figure out like, OK, is this time like legit or like what's going on? And we kept back and forth that way. And then he was finally like, he kind of pulls me to the side. And he's trying to like get my story and figure out like, how am I running this fast? Like, have I run before? And that was like the first kind of inkling that I got. Like, oh, like, am I pretty good at this or what's going on? And from there on, it was like kind of a bit of a whirlwind. So your freshman year, you run the fastest time within your high school that's ever been ran before. And then where does the rest of your high school journey go? Yeah, so I kind of had like a breakout year my freshman year, which set me up to say like, OK, I need to take this serious. I made the state meet and no one from my school had done that. And I think I got seven. I haven't that state. And so it was like, OK, it's time to get serious about this if I really want to take it somewhere. And so I did. I started lifting weights and kind of like going the extra mile. And then I started having success and I ended up winning the state meet, I think, five times. Like, I started doing really well, like in the high school landscape of things. And then went to some national meets and did really well. And then my coach started putting me in races with professionals. And that's really where we started to see like, OK, this could be bigger than we ever thought. Yeah, I started winning some of those races with professionals. And my senior year, I made the world championship team indoors and outdoors. And that's when the conversation around like going pro really started to set in. And it was bigger than just, you know, a scholarship. It was like, OK, you could do this as a career. Wow. You're winning states, you're winning nationals. Yeah. And you're winning professional races while still in high school. And so now comes sort of this pivotal. This pivotal decision that you have to make, which is you're, what, 17 years old? Yeah. I believe at this stage you had found out you got accepted to USC. Mm-hmm. And maybe Adidas is interested in sponsoring you. Had they already done something with you at that time or? No. No, they just reached out. Once I, my senior year, I had ran the fastest time in the world of any woman in the 200 meters. And that's what really started to get a lot of buzz. And so. And so once that happened, then the shoe company started to talk to my parents. And it was a really big decision because I had already committed to USC. My brother was there. My dad had went there. So I knew, you know, that was something I wanted to do. But on the flip side, this was 2003 and I knew the Olympics were going to be the next year. And I had this like kind of, you know, up close seat to watching my brother compete in the NCAA season. And I knew that it was really demanding and it was all about points. It was all about. It was all about winning NCAAs. And if you wanted to make the Olympic team, that was kind of like the secondary goal. And so that was the kind of the biggest factor for me. It was like, okay, if I want to make this team next year, then maybe it's better to focus on that and to go pro. You kind of snuck it in there, but I don't want it to let it get by without bringing more attention to this. You said you ran the world's fastest 200 meters at that time while you were in high school. Yeah. Yeah. At the time I had run the fastest time of the year. Of like that particular year. Yeah. Okay. And so that means you ran faster than like any Olympian even. Yeah. Yeah. I know it was crazy for me too. I was like, okay, wow. Like I'm, yeah, I was leading, you know, everyone. I had put that time out there and that's really what kind of changed things for me. And so what is happening in your personal life at this time? I mean, cause if you're breaking those kinds of. Records. Yeah. There must be a big spotlight on you. Yeah. I was definitely getting a lot of media attention. I was like on the cover of sports illustrated. Like it was, there was a lot, you know, going on for sure. Yeah. So making friends wasn't a challenge at this point. Yeah. I had figured out my lane. Yeah. And so what is that journey like to be, you know, like a freshman shy kid who doesn't have a lot of friends. So now suddenly you're thrust into this national. Limelight. Yeah. It was, it was a bit uncomfortable cause it wasn't like, I wasn't a person still not like who really loves attention. And so being in the spotlight, wasn't something that made me thrive. It was kind of like, I loved the accomplishment of it all because that's really what made me want to go after it. But that was like a new side of things that I wasn't familiar with. Did you know that like your life is going to be dedicated to this at that stage? At this stage, I knew that I needed to take it seriously. I knew that I was curious because I knew that I was close and I knew I had this like opportunity. I had a good feeling that like if I dedicated myself and I did what I needed to do that I could excel, but it was kind of like, I hadn't seen it yet, but I saw the potential of it. Right. You know, when I was in high school, not that I was breaking any sort of world records or anything like that, but I was a gifted tennis player and, you know, my coach really believed in me. And, you know, I was number one on the high school team when I was a freshman. We were probably the second or third best team in the league. there was potential if I really took it serious. But at the same time, you know, I had all these other things that I wanted to do. I was a teenager. I was exploring, you know, the things that excited me. How do you stay focused, right? When you have all these distractions as somebody who is a young person that is also experiencing success, how do you decide that, hey, I'm going to be waking up early in the morning to be running and not hanging out with my friends at night? Once I made that world championship team, I knew I wasn't going to have the same life as like a lot of other, you know, kids that age. And even once I started college, I knew I wasn't going to have the typical college life because I was trying to do something that was out of the ordinary. And that's tough. It was tough. I mean, because that's like a lot of you having to turn down invitations that you're getting. And it almost, you know, in high school, especially you can be made to feel like somewhat of an outcast or a loser or something if you're not doing what, did you have those kinds of influences in your life where people were like, hey, forget waking up at 6 a.m. or whatever. Like, let's go have fun tonight. I think what really helped is like a lot of my friend group, they were competing. It may not have been at the same level, but they were, they aspired to be to that level. And so I think that really helped because, you know, they, they were doing more than I was, but they were still disciplined. You know, they still had training and workouts. And so that's really what I was around and saw, you know, in high school, I definitely wanted to be at the football games and at the parties. And so I missed out on that. Yeah. But I was also, you know, I knew I was trying to get to the Olympics. Yeah. This episode of the podcast is brought to you by ChiliPad. So if you're like me, you're as serious about your work as you are about your rest. That's why sleep is so important. And science is clear. Temperature is one of the single best levers you can pull to improve your sleep quality. Sleep too warm and you stay stuck in light, restless sleep. 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I didn't like what you said, Odin pauses, about the future. This is the love story of real hinge couple Odin and Edward. Written and read by me, Curtis Garner. That's really inspiring. You know, for our listeners, you know, we might have some young listeners that are at their stage of their, at their life where they're, you know, they're considering whether they want to really focus on a goal or whether they want to have more fun, or they might be at a stage of life where they are raising children and thinking about, you know, what's the most important thing for their children to turn out, you know, to give their children the best chance at success. So how much do you think your friendship circle and your environment has to do with someone's success? Like, do you think if you had friends that weren't as focused, didn't have similar goals, you had parents that maybe weren't as supportive, do you think you still would have accomplished what you did? I think it's a good question. I think it would have been much harder. You know, I do look at my circle and I feel like, yeah, it is, it is so much about that. It's so much about who you surround yourself with and, you know, those positive people who are going to really speak into you and not push you to go down the wrong path. And so I'm really grateful for those experiences because if I didn't, I'm not sure, I'm not sure I would have ended up in the same place. Yeah. My parents were so busy growing up that when I got my learner's permit at 15 and a half, they were like, you know what, you could just drive yourself. This is cool. So I was one of the youngest that had a car because of that, you know, the more popular kids suddenly wanted to start hanging out with me because they just saw me as a ride at that time. I just saw it as, Hey, I'm getting attention from popular kids. This is so cool. But it very quickly derailed me. And at that point, like I stopped showing up to tennis practice on time. I stopped taking my goals as serious. And so I really lost my way for a good year. And then it wasn't until like, I realized that my, my GPA went from like a, you know, 4.0 plus my freshman and sophomore year to like a 3.2, 3.3, which for me was like really bad because I was always an academically gifted kid. I saw that drop in my performance, but luckily I had a college counselor in my senior year. And they said, look like your junior year is the most important for your academic performance. But if you really get focused, you still have a shot at getting into a good school. I mean, you got into USC. I got denied to USC, you know? You know, USC is a very tough school to get into because I was able to really sort of turn my life around, change my group of friends, my senior year. That's what ultimately led me to getting accepted at UC Davis. You know, I would say, I totally agree when you say like your group of friends can influence you in a negative way. And then also changing that environment can kind of help you bounce back at any given time as well. Yeah. I think it's crucial, you know, when you look around and you're saying like, okay, what are they into? And you know, are they helping me to be who I need to be or are they hurting me? Right. And you know, I, I actually did go back during my reunion because I remember as a young person, I couldn't really differentiate between which was the right way and the wrong way. And to me, it was like the cool way was the right way. Who are the cool people? They're the ones that are skipping class that are, you know, like the ones that get girls and might be, you know, doing drugs early or whatever. That's what you perceive as a teenager. And then when I went back for like my 10 year high school reunion, I just realized I stayed in the exact same spot. Whereas like so many people, they move forward in life. So yeah, it's interesting. And these are tough things to navigate that, you know, as you get older, you clearly see, but even as you get older, it becomes a little bit hard because sometimes like friends from the past, especially if you've achieved a certain level of success, maybe they want to come back into your life or something like that. And it's hard to, you know, try to say like, no, I have a certain standard for the people that I want to allow in people that are going to help and be a better individual versus somebody that is going to drag me down in some way. Yeah. I think you have to have those boundaries. And I think as you get older, it becomes more clear and, you know, you're able to kind of voice that more and say like, okay, like I'm going to take control of who is in my circle, who's around me. And even, you know, it might look fun from the outside, but it, it has that ability to pay off, you know, when you do it like that. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So let's catch back up in the story. You are 17 years old. You've gotten USC. You decide to waive the NCAA path and go straight to professional. You sign a deal with Adidas and now you have Olympics coming up in one year, your first Olympics ever. Yeah. And so what was that decision like in committing to, you are going to be entering the Olympics at, is 18 the minimum age? For track and field, there's not like an age requirement as long as you're meeting the standards. Yeah. But yeah, it was really exciting. You know, at that time, everything is new. You don't have to be that long. This is a big goal. So even though it's like ambitious and it is a lot of sacrifices and things like that, it still is something that I'm really into. And so that year was rocky. I had kind of some really mixed results and a lot of critique about, you know, did I make the right choice? Should I have just, you know, stayed in the NCAA system? But once I made that Olympic team, it was like, okay, I did the right thing. I'm here. And yeah, it was, it was successful to me. What is making an Olympics team? Like it is somebody like who makes that decision and what is that training like? We have the Olympic trials and the Olympic trials, you have to run a qualifying time. So you run fast enough to make it to the Olympic trials. And then you get there, you have rounds of your race, and then you have a final. In the final, you have to be top three in the sprints to be able to make the Olympic team. And so I competed in the 200 meters and I won Olympic trials. And so I made the Olympic team. And you're competing against everyone within the U.S. at that stage. Yes, - Gotcha. So you're 18 at this point, you find out that you make the Olympic team, what is that feeling like? Do you, at this point, do you feel like you've made it and it's a big celebration within your household or is it still? A big celebration. It had paid off and then just excitement of what's to come at the games. That was a huge deal. Yeah. So you are one of three that are representing the USA and that year in 2000, this, what year is this? 2004. 2004. And so the Olympics are happening in Greece and Athens that year. You're training now to go to Greece. Do you, how does it work? Do you go to Athens and you train there or do you train here? Yeah. So during that time, we still have our, like our professional season. And so we're still racing, we're competing. Three weeks before we'll go to a training camp in one of the islands in Crete and we'll do relay camps and, you know, just do final preparations. And then we head over to Athens and the Olympic experience begins. Yeah. So what is that Olympics experience like? Oh, it was incredible. You know, especially like to be in a place where you're not in a place where you're not in a place where you're not in a for my first one, I did all the things that you could do at the Olympics. So I walked in opening ceremonies. I stayed in the village, you know, the cafeteria. I remember, you know, a big basketball fan. So at the time I remember like seeing Carmelo Anthony, like, and, you know, meeting him and you trade pins with people. And it's just kind of this surreal, like at 18, it's like, am I really living this? Yeah. So it was great. And then, you know, and then it's time for competition and that's like a very serious matter. Right. That you've, you know, prepared for. Do you have any fun memories of like Olympic village? I remember going to the dining hall and seeing like there was a McDonald's in there. And I'm like, you're watching like these athletes at the peak performance and like, everyone's getting like fries and chicken nuggets. And you're like, am I supposed to be doing that too? Like just little things like that. And yeah, walking and opening ceremonies, you know, that'll be just like unforgettable. And I remember just the flashes of all the lights and just being, making friends, lifelong friends. Yeah. And were you the youngest at the Olympic village? Like I was the youngest for team USA. Okay. Yeah. For our team. Okay. And so do you already have like your sites on who your biggest competition is going to be at that stage? Like what is sort of the mental preparation going in? Yeah. I, I knew kind of what was like the landscape of like who was, you know, doing really well, but I wasn't sure, you know, the Olympics, you never know, you know, who's going to really perform on that day, but I was, you know, really dialed in, locked in and, you know, ready to have my best performance of the year. Yeah. Were you nervous? Like I was nervous. I'm always nervous before a race. Like if I wasn't, it would be weird, but I was like, I think it was even amplified, you know, because it is the Olympics. I'd never competed that far away from home. Just the, the massive stadium. I was like, this is, it's unreal. I had never competed, you know, in front of a crowd that big. So all of that, I was just kind of taking everything in. Yeah. And so walk me through the race. I remember, yeah, getting to the race. And being really focused, getting the blocks, you know, really in my zone on what I needed to do. I was up against a competitor that in my career, we would go back and forth for a very long time, Veronica Campbell Brown. And she had this phenomenal start and that's the weakest part of my race. And so I knew that like, if I had any chance at all, I would have to be close enough to her to not be just like out of the race. And so I had my pretty traditional start. I got out of the lines and made a little bit of distance up and just ran my heart out on the back stretch or on the, on the home stretch. But I, I was just a step behind the whole way. And I remember diving for the line and, you know, realizing that I wasn't going to get a gold medal and, you know, congratulated her and kind of looked up and I, and the pit of my stomach, like I could feel like, oh, it felt like it was within reach. So I think the initial feeling was like disappointment. And then I saw my parents and they were like, oh, I'm not going to get a gold medal. And I was like, oh, I'm not going to get a gold medal. And they were like, what is wrong with you? Like you're 18 years old. You just won a silver medal at the Olympics. And so they very quickly like changed my perspective, but we were really just great competitors. Like when we competed against each other, like you knew you had to bring your A game. And I think we really brought the best out in each other. So that was kind of the beginning of, of a rivalry. That was the first person. How old was she? Veronica at the time was in college. I think she was probably, I don't know exactly, but I would think maybe early twenties. Yeah. Yeah. And is she have like a certain level of respect for you instantly as well? Like knowing that you. I think so. You know, she had already been to the Olympics before. So for her, the previous Olympics would have been like her Olympics, like me, where she was a teenager and I think she had already like meddled. So she was a bit more established. Every time you step on the line, you know, with someone you have respect, you know, that they're there and you, you know, you want to, you want the best competitors, you know, to be able to line up against each other. So you win a medal in the Olympics, you win a medal in the Olympics, you win a medal in the Olympics, you win a medal in the Olympics, you win a medal in the Olympics, you win a medal in the Olympics. I mean, your family's obviously so excited for you. Were you being celebrated within the U.S.? Was it like a big deal? Yeah. I mean, just meddling in general, right? But you don't take it as this huge success. Yeah. I mean, for me, the goal was gold. So it was like, okay, this is really great, but it lit a fire. Like that was the first time where I was like, I remember seeing one of my really good friends, Joanna, she won gold in the hundred hurdles. And I remember like seeing her up close, like looking at her, she was so focused. I saw her medal afterwards and I was like, I want to do that. And that's when I was like, okay, it's going to take more than what I've been doing. Gotcha. And so your next race is not going to be the Olympics, the next like world champion race. It's going to be in Osaka. Yeah. Is that right? Okay. So you are determined that this is going to be your next victory. What's the difference between winning like a world competition and the Olympics? Like, is it sort of the same? Same value you place on that? Or for you, it's like the Olympics are just like the highest level. Yeah. For me, the world championships were not like it. Yes. It was like the same people that you're racing, but it didn't have the same attention on it. So it was only every four years that the world took notice. And then, you know, you have the track fans, like they're the ones at the world championships. For me, you know, the world championships were great stepping stones, but it was always the Olympics that had that bullseye on it. And, you know, most people when they think of a goal, maybe they think of something that's like a month out, a few months out, maybe a year out. I mean, you're thinking about something that's four years out. As soon as you leave Athens, you're immediately focused on the next Olympics that's coming. How do you think so far out and stay disciplined to such long-term goals? Yeah. I mean, it really is just the mindset that, you know, as an Olympian, you work in these four-year cycles. Like that is how your life operates. And I think that's what's so important to me. And I think that's what's so and it is challenging because the goal does feel so far away, but then you have to break it down and make it smaller. And so, yes, my goal would be the next year to win a world championship because that is going to get me closer to where I need to be for the Olympics. And so it's just kind of building blocks. It's taking this big goal and just breaking it down. Yeah. So now the Olympics are here again. Here's your chance, right, to get this gold. Yeah. And what happens? It was so different than the time before, because when I came before, I was a teenager and now I'm the favorite. I have, you know, my sponsors expect me to win. I have responsibilities, appearances, I'm doing all these things and I also need to perform. And so I get to the race. And for me, I'm like, okay, this is a rematch. Finally, you know, I've waited so long. With Veronica. With Veronica. And kind of the same thing, you know, I wanted to get out strong because I knew that's my only chance. And so I try to get out as hard as I can. I'm, you know, close enough. And had you beaten her in these past world competitions? I had. Yeah. Okay. So you've experienced success against her in Osaka? Yeah. Okay. In Osaka, in Helsinki, yeah, in the two world championships before then. You beat her every time after Athens? At the world championships, yes. And then, you know, in this race, it was, it was almost kind of like the same as Athens, you know, she got out really well and I was not able to catch her. And it was just, to me, that second Olympics was just devastating because it's, you know, you're supposed to be the phenom, like you have all these expectations. And it just, I just felt the weight of it all just like come down on me. And I remember feeling very embarrassed and feeling like, I just wanted to hide, like, just get me out of here. And so, yeah, is that led to like kind of a really dark kind of period for me of, do I want to still do this? Like, is this for me? Is it ever going to work out for me? And not sure, yeah, if I went to continue on. Oh my gosh. Is that weird? She doesn't care. She presses send. I coach football. Now, Coach Hank saves up to 25% off grocery store prices, 30 pounds of pasta, three cases of protein bars, 75 sports drinks, and 30 meals a day. He knows teamwork and BJ's knows savings. This is your home. coach home of the save join for just $20 at bjs.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only bjs home of the save and we're talking about like what's the difference between her placing first in terms of time and you placing second i think she ran 21 like seven something and i ran around 21 nine or eight high so not very much so you're talking about like a tenth of a second yeah and so something that you've been training for for four years gets determined by a tenth of a second yeah it's pretty oh my gosh that's insane yeah but you know to those listening right like i'm sure the idea of qualifying for the olympics yeah right the idea of taking home any sort of medal would be like a dream like unimaginable and yet here you are at 21 22 years old you've won your second silver medal in the olympics you've only lost by a tenth of a second you're a world champion and you are feeling embarrassed when you're in it you know where every single day you are thinking about that gold medal you know you your your goal is like very clear and you have all this noise around you that you're supposed to do this thing that when it doesn't come together it feels like your world is falling apart and that's like when when i'm able to zoom out now and i'm able to look back i very clearly see that that's not reality but in those moments it very much felt like there's like how do i survive this like there's not like i don't even know how i i put the pieces back together so for me from that period forward it was really my team my coach my family like those were the people who spoke into me and helped me out of that because if it was just me you know i think i would have just like you know just wallowed wow you silver you are on the verge of wanting to give up and not do track anymore because you are so devastated and then your coach and your team and your family and everybody else are the ones that are convincing you to keep going yeah so this is now you just finish the beijing olympics but you still take home gold in the four by 400 relay yeah but that doesn't feel the same to you okay so wait a second so not only is it like gold it's not just about hitting gold it's about being gold in a solo race in a 200 meter for you yeah so gold and anything else is not even doesn't even qualify gosh okay so i i will just note that in this olympics that you do take home how many golds is it yeah one you take home a gold in another in another race and still regardless of how many golds you're going to take home you take home a gold in another race even though you got a gold there the the fact that you got silver and the 200 that weighed on you more than anything else yeah and now you're thinking about giving up yeah but you push through it and now you're training for the 2012 olympics is that sort of the next big milestone yeah okay so 2012 kept along and and leading up to this you're training harder than ever you're like locked in are you going through like ups and downs what is this journey like between 2008 2012 yeah i'm not sure i'm not sure yeah i definitely have ups and downs between 2008 and 2012 i i venture out i try some 400 meter races which is you know really more outside of my comfort zone so i explore a little bit and then i start to dial in to you know to what i to this 200 meters that i have not been successful at and so i was completely focused i felt almost a sense of calm coming into the olympics that i hadn't felt before and i think i got to a place where i was like i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this where i really understood that i my preparation like there wasn't anything more i could do i had we had re-evaluated everything we had changed things like we we did it and so i i remember the sense of before that race of feeling like you know if this is for me it's for me and if it's not then i'll still be okay yeah and i think previously i didn't have that understanding i i felt like the world was going to be over if like this thing didn't happen and so yeah just so i felt like i was in a really good place to be and i think that's what i'm trying to do and i think that's going into the 2012 games yeah so you have so much of your future ahead of you you're so young and as we know you go on to you know win more medals than anyone else in history but you know i just want to take a second here because this is such an important part of the story because i feel like so many people out there are dreaming of what gold looks like right it's this carrot at the end of the hamster wheel that we're all working so hard towards yeah i if i'm going to have a book i want to have like a best-selling book i if i'm working towards a goal i want to one day become a millionaire if i'm working towards my fitness goals i want to one day have a six-pack and i can totally relate to this on a personal level because as somebody who you know has done well in my own journey like you know seven years ago i was making videos inside of my apartment with no team you know no gear no support no one was watching my videos and now you know several years later i've gotten to this place of being a more established creator and when people see me they go oh my gosh like you inspire me so much like i want to get to where you are or you know it must be amazing to have this feeling of success and i'm just like what success like i don't i don't feel that success yeah i myself feel like i am so far from making it and i often get discouraged just feeling like i'm so far from the finish line am i ever going to get there where someone else looks at my life and they're like you've already won yeah and so this is the same feeling that so many of my successful friends also feel so the reason i point this out is like while others are sort of thinking that hey if i can just get to the top of the mountain that's where happiness is actually going to be speaking to someone who has been to the top of the mountain multiple times it's not what you think it's going to be yeah and so if the top of the mountain isn't that right then what is then where does happiness come from yeah i mean for me it was the experience like when everything did come together exactly what you're saying like it didn't feel like what i hyped it up to be like i go to the next olympics and i get the gold medal i get we break a world record we do i go home with three gold medals and that should have been it right like that should have been the same the same olympics the next olympics okay yeah gotcha and it didn't feel like what i imagined yeah and so really to unpack it and i think it was because the like the magic happened along the way like it was the journey it was the hard moments like the the small victories along the way it was becoming stretching like for me that's what yeah that's where the joy is and it's not like in the singular destination i think it's amplified as an olympian because you're always focused on that one thing like success only looks like a gold medal um but when i'm able to like step away from it i'm like wow like it was it was the years before that like this is really great i'm glad you know i'm relieved i'm happy but it wasn't about that in the end yeah okay so you're feeling calmer than you've ever felt before yeah once again are you facing off against veronica here veronica is in the race as well it's a are you guys friends what is your energy like we have a good energy i think we like are just very respectful of each other you know like we get that what it takes and so it was a it was a really like good rivalry so yeah where she's in the race and it's also at the time i think it was the most stacked 200 meter race that there had been and so i had that same approach where i've tried to improve my start you know through the years and i i know that i have to get out if i'm going to have a chance at this race and so get in the blocks i'm i'm focused i've i've zoned i'm zoned i run that first 50 meters and i'm with everybody and that's like that's like wow and so i'm coming off the curve and i'm still within distance and i begin to start to pull away the last 50 meters and have a clear victory and i remember looking up at the at the scoreboard and like waiting like i think i won but i'm like let me just make sure and i finally i see my name at the top and finally like that gold medal that i have been going after for years it happens so it's so close that you don't even know instantly if you want or not and i mean i had a good feeling like i didn't see anyone right there but you know you never want to be the person who like celebrates and like you know it's not for sure so i wanted to like really really wait so confirmation was there and then yeah and what was the first thing you did when you saw your name at the top of the board i think it was like a sigh of like relief almost you know like it was so much joy but it was also like oh my gosh i this is the third game like finally yeah and then i you know ran and got the flag and got to do my victory lap got to see my family like it was amazing wow was that the feeling that you had been hoping for it wasn't the feeling like in the moment everything was great it felt great um it wasn't what i thought it was going to be like i had built this up over the years to i thought like i win this gold medal and like everything is different like you know this is what i've been chasing like life is going and it essentially was you know the same like i went home and you know there was it was celebrated and but then it was you know it died down And it was, you know, back to normal. And that was really like a turning point for me and my approach of like how I looked at my career, like seeing a singular destination and kind of zooming out from that and saying like, it's much more about the process. It's much more about the journey than just putting everything into this one goal. Yeah. I think we see that a lot. You know, like if somebody is trying to get to some dream job, they think if I can just get this one promotion or if I can just get this new car or this new apartment or new purse or new shoes or whatever it is, right? Whether it's like a short-term goal or a long-term goal, like that feeling of happiness is pretty short-lived, right? But you're saying even as an Olympian gold medalist that the highest. Right. That's probably like the highest pinnacle of success when people just think about life. Even that is short-lived. Yeah. And so the whole point is just to enjoy every step of the process. Yeah. I mean, I think that's where I was able to stretch myself and like the uncomfortable moments and where you really learn about yourself. Like those are the special moments. And obviously it's incredible when you do reach, you know, the goal, but then it's like, okay. You have to figure out what is next. Yeah. It's like, we always want what we don't have. The illusion of success is what we chase, but we never quite feel like we grasp. So it's just interesting hearing this. And I think that's going to be really inspiring. I think parenting teaches you a lot of that, of like the journey of, you know, each step of raising your child, because it's not like the goal of parenting is just great. They're 18 years old now. They're out the door, right? Yeah. Like it's about enjoying those like small magical moments. Yeah. And you get to see it in real time and you get to see the beauty of it and what you're pouring into your children. And like, you get to see how it really matters. And, you know, when you get to be proud of them because they're like actually listening and, you know, acting on those things. Yeah. All right. So, so you continue to now stack medals over your career. I know you have, you know, different challenges with, with injuries, but regardless, you're very resilient. You stick to the sport as, you know, we know that you've won. Yeah. I've gone to four Olympic games. I had six gold medals. I was like, okay, I think I'm in a good place. So I, you know, I started down that path. I become pregnant and I'm also going through this renegotiation period with Nike. Okay. So you left Adidas at this point. You're now with Nike. I'm with Nike. Yeah. I got with Nike after Beijing, after the 2008 games. And so I had been with them at this point for almost, you know, it's, it's going on pretty much almost a decade. I thought I was just going to sign a contract and like end my career there. Yeah. I was happy. But what ended up happening was the renegotiations went really poorly. And the starting out place, even before I disclosed my pregnancy was 70% less than what I had been making before. So when, so was it a conscious decision that you wanted to like start a family? You had kind of dedicated time to do that. You were in between Olympics or like where, where were you in terms of wanting to compete, wanting to have a family? I really wanted both. I had, so I was coming off of the 20th. I had a 2017 world championship. So I went to Rio in 2016. I had competed in 2017. That was the world championship that made me the most decorated. So I'm feeling like in a really good place. And it's also 2018 is an off year. So if there ever is a time to have a baby as an Olympian, this is the time to do it. Right. So that felt really great. But this renegotiation was the one piece of the puzzle that like wasn't where it should be. And it started off so poorly. That I ended up doing what a lot of women in my sport do. And I hid my pregnancy. And the reason for that was because they offered me the 70% less. Before knowing you were pregnant? Before knowing I was pregnant. Why would they offer you 70% less? Because I think, you know, at this time I'm older, there's new athletes that they want to sign. You know, I think really because they can. I had been with Nike for almost a decade. I don't think they believed that somebody else was going to come in and pay more than that. I had been. I'm a heavily branded a Nike athlete by this time. And so I start to do what a lot of my teammates had done before. And at this time I'm waiting to receive something on paper. So even the 70% less is not on paper. So my fear is that, you know, I disclose this pregnancy and even that disappears. So you're not, I mean, I would just think how many medals you've won, how like your success, just so I understand, like, are you like, have you made it? You never have to worry about finances again? No, not in track and field. Like, we're not like, yes, the top 1%. Like, you know, I'm making seven figures, but at the same time, you know, once your career is done, you know. That has to hold you over. So it's not like you never have to worry about money again. Gotcha. So this is an important part. Yeah. And the renegotiation was like lasting a long time where I'm actually, I fall out of contract and I'm not, I'd have no salary. It was really challenging that, that period. Yeah. I started my fear. I start training, you know, in the dark. I'm trying to wait to like see, you know, what we get on paper so that I can, you know, tell them that I'm pregnant. And it just drags on. In the middle of it all, I decide to change my focus from the salary to asking for maternal protections. And so what that means is in track and field, our contracts are performance based. And so you go to the world championships or the Olympics, you get a bonus, but you don't, you get a reduction. And so what was happening in the sport is that women would become pregnant and then their salary would be reduced and reduced because they wouldn't have time to get back to peak form before getting reductions. And so. And this is obviously something that only affects women. Yeah. So my ask was that women be able to have time after having a baby to get back to peak performance before facing reductions. Eventually I'm told that I could have that. And I'm like, great. That's what I'm asking for. Yeah. My salary is still disrespectful. It's like went from 70 to 60% less and just really bad, but. You're willing to accept that part. I was willing to accept it. It was just like, okay. And so they said yes. And so when we get the long form contract back, we look through it and there's no mention of maternity. There's no mention of pregnancy. And so we learned that although they were willing to give me the time to get back, they were not willing to say no. to set the precedent for all female athletes. And for me, that was just, that was unacceptable. At the same time. Even if you got what you wanted, it was more important to you that all female athletes got what you were asking for. Exactly. Wow. Yeah, because during this time, you know, no one, this had been happening for as long as I was in the sport. And all the athletes are under NDAs. And so nobody could speak about it. But because my contract had lapsed, I was no longer under contract. I didn't have an NDA. And I felt like if I don't speak about this, this is just going to continue on. And so it really was about, you know, fighting for all female athletes so that we could, you know, reach that point. And because it also spans such a long time, I end up having my daughter. And so I have this very traumatic birth experience with her. I give birth two months early. I have severe preeclampsia. And I think it's the two things happening at the same time that give me the courage to say, like, I'm going to say something about this. I talked about, you know, the internal battle that I was having with Nike along with other teammates and colleagues. They also spoke out. We put this op-ed out. I think it was about two weeks later that Nike ended up changing their policy. Oh, my gosh. So, yeah. I mean, it was a hard fight. But today they offer 18 months of protection. And so for people that are in a similar situation where something may not be for their self-interest, but it's for the greater good of all, how do you find the courage to do that? Like, do you think it was just because you had gone through this hard pregnancy and motherhood brought this upon you? Or do you think that it was the way that you have been like this competitive athlete and the way that you were raised? Where did that come from? I don't think there was really anything special in me. Because when I look back, there's not a moment that I feel like, oh, I felt so courageous or I was like ready. I think it was the fact that, you know, I had my brother. And I remember him telling me, like, you can use your voice even if it shakes. I think he knew me and like just how uncomfortable all of this is. And the fact that you can do something even if you're scared, like that doesn't have to limit you. That's like what I needed. It was like, okay, I'm never going to get to a place where like I'm good with this. But knowing that like this deeply matters. To me, like I have this child, like I'm, I just watched her fight in the NICU. Like I'm not going to let her generation take it on. And so I think those things coupled together made me find myself. my voice. Wow. That's so beautiful. You know, given what a track record you've had of success and also the tremendous change that you've been able to help advocate for women. When you look back upon your career, what are you most proud of? It's definitely that. Like I look at the medals and I look at the accomplishments and by far contributing to the change in maternal protections for female athletes, hands down, that's it. Like to be able to see athletes today, you know, athletes, my friend Naomi Osaka, to know that she was able to have a child in the peak of her career and have that choice. You know, that's a choice that many, many women did not feel that they had for a long time. Like that is by far like the greatest accomplishment. Yeah. Have you had experiences where, you know, women have come up to you and like thanked you or talked about how much you've changed your life? Yeah, absolutely. And it's always just like so moving to me. You know, at the end of my career, you know, I was in races where my competitors, you know, were telling me like this has really changed things for us. And to me, like that's, you know, that's the biggest reward I ever could receive. Yeah, it's beautiful. And now as a mom, how has life changed you? It's completely changed. You know, I mean, I have these two incredible children that just bring me so much joy. And my daughter really, you know, she was born in the midst of all of this adversity. And it's just been my why, my reason to continue on, you know, to try to do things that haven't traditionally been done. You know, I left Nike and I started my shoe company, Station, you know, to make it back to the Olympics as a mom, you know, wearing shoes that our brand created. I mean, she is a driving force behind all that. And I don't know if I like go after those big, bold things without motherhood, you know, and having that like reason. So you went back to the Olympics even after having your first shoe? Yeah. Even after having your first child. And this was in your 30s. And this is at a time where most people think that you probably won't even qualify or like, and how did you end up doing when you went back again? It was incredible. You know, I made the team. I ended up getting a bronze medal at 35. And exactly like you said, like, I feel like I had really been written off. Like I was too old. I was a mother now. Like it was done for me. And just to push back against that narrative that society really pushes on you that you can't do anything about. Yeah. That you can't do things at a certain age. Like I just tried to surround myself with my circle and, you know, people who are going to speak positivity into me and be my support system and just keep pushing. And why did you decide to compete again after you gave birth to your daughter? I knew I wasn't done. Like I knew that I still had more left. Yeah. And I also wanted to show her, you know, she's seven years old now. And I get to, you know, talk to her about the things that were really hard and the things that were challenging that we don't have to accept that, you know, that we can, if you believe in something that it's worth it to go after it through the adversity, you know, it's been great for me and a great lesson that I get to share with my kids, you know, being able to stand up for women and to say, like, I hope they see me in this moment. I hope they see themselves in this moment that just because somebody puts limits on you doesn't mean you have to listen to it. You know, you absolutely can do the big, crazy, audacious thing. Yeah. What do you view as gold today? I mean, I really have changed the way I look at success and the way I define it today. It's about impact. It's about like, how am I changing things for other people? How am I leaving something I'm really proud of behind? How am I advocating and really leaning into those parts? And if you were stacking up, you know, in a race today against 17 year old, what advice would you give that 17 year old? To be ready, to be patient and to embrace failure. Like it's a part of life. Like I used to let it, it used to paralyze me like in 2008, like I didn't want to show my face. And now like, you know, in business, if I go through something hard, there's so much to learn. Like it's such a rich lesson, like embrace that, figure out the good parts of it, pick yourself up and just keep going. I love it. Thank you so much for having me. I didn't like what you said. Odin pauses about the future. This is the love story of real hinge couple Odin and Edward written and read by me, Curtis Garner. This episode is brought to you by chat GPT. Have you guys heard about chat GPT work? It's the new way to use chat GPT for bigger multi-step projects. And when you need more than just answers, give chat GPT work. Access to your apps and files, and it can create real work documents like spreadsheets, slides, and structured reports. I coach football. This is your home coach home of the save. Join for just $20 at BJ's.com slash mesquite and save 10 cents per gallon for six months open soon limited time offer new members only BJ's home of the save. This episode is brought to you by TXU energy for the first time ever Texans have an energy plan that combines free nights all year with daytime summer savings. It's free nights every night all year long. Plus a 25% bonus toward your daytime use all summer. It's a first of its kind plan created for how Texans actually use energy. Discover how much more you could save with free nights and cool summer TXU energy energy for everything. Visit txu.com for more information rep number 10004.