April and Sebastian, a young married couple from Tyler, Texas, appear on Financial Audit to address their severe financial and marital problems. They earn roughly $4,100 a month combined—April as a server making about $500 a week and Sebastian as a low-paid college track coach. Their finances are in disarray, with significant debt, including an $18,791 personal loan and high-interest Affirm purchases for April's coffee cart business, which has operated for four months without profit. The couple's relationship is strained, having gone through a 5-6 month separation and near-divorce last year, which they reconciled but haven't resolved underlying issues. They constantly argue over money, control, and effort: Sebastian criticizes April for not promoting her business enough, while April feels he dismisses her diagnosed depression and doesn't provide emotional support. Sebastian also manages finances, leading to accusations of control, while April's spending habits, like financing supplies, worsen their debt. The host highlights their poor financial decisions, including using high-interest loans for a hobby-like business, and suggests they need better jobs and budgeting. Additionally, Sebastian's frequent texting and video calls with female athletes raise suspicions, though he attributes them to coaching duties. The episode concludes with the host urging them to address their communication, career paths, and financial habits to avoid another divorce.
- To watch episodes of financial audit a week earlier, check us out on YouTube. How's the marriage? - Fun. - I think it's been hard to recover since last year. - Oh, it was last year. (laughing) - It was last year. - You know, we went through, uh, I don't know, shit dude. - A separation. - Oh, you guys have separated last year. - If he's gonna be that opinionated on what I'm doing right or wrong, then be in it. Support me. - So she has an official diagnosis and you're just like dismissing it? - So if you get diagnosed with something like 15 years ago, does it last forever? - I just, I think I speak on nothing but facts and you just speak on all emotions and I can't argue with your emotions. - Who's this person from? - Believe me in your name, Bo. (beep) (beep) - Why do you do video calls with her? - Uh, it's very frequently. - Coaching stuff? - Uh, okay. - Merry Christmas in July. I'm in a given mood, even for you naughty ones. Budget, dad, investing, real estate, all of it. 50% off right now. Not sure where you stand. My new and improved hammer quiz does the dirty work for you. Two minutes and you'll know exactly how naughty or nice your finances look. Plus, next steps based on your score. Take the quiz, then take advantage of 50% off and finally fix your finances for good. - Hi, I'm April, I'm 29 years old. - I'm Sebastian, I'm 31 years old. We live in Tyler, Texas. - And this is financial audit. - Thanks for coming down to Austin, guys. April, what do you do for a living up in Tyler? - I'm a server. - Okay, well, it's 29, yeah. - Waitress. - I can make, yeah, a server waitress, sure. That can make good money depending on the restaurant. I mean, I know some people here, my favorite sushi places, make really good money, but then there's, you know, it could be at Chili's and not. Are you at the Chili's or the nice sushi restaurant? - I'm in a new Mexican restaurant that is just taking off. - Mexican's good. - No, Mexican's good. It's just usually not a higher priced food place, meaning you're probably not making as much. - Okay, but yeah, I'm not making as much actually, yeah. - Okay, what do you make? - About 500 a week. Give it a take. - Why do you look like confused and dumbfounded and shocked and concerned? - Basically every year in a motion. Are you sure it's 500 a week? - I don't. - Average, average, 500. I think it's a good average. - Averaging just the bad weeks, not all of the week. - Are you saying she makes more than that? - I thought so, somewhere. - You think so or? - Deji. - Okay, so here's the thing, here's the thing. - What do you know? - No, I handle the finances for the most part. Like I do the budgeting and stuff, so I'm the one who knows, but I should know. - Should know, why doesn't he know? - You're the controlling Latino wife. - Not controlling. We sit down, we sit down. - Come on, he can't even look at you. He's afraid of being punished. - We sit down and we go through our budget together. I give him all the information whether it sticks or doesn't, that's outside of my control. - Kind of, I mean, depending on you communicate, it's different per individual. If it's not working, maybe you need a different communication style. - Probably, I don't know, maybe. - So should he? - No, he needs to listen better. - Yeah, so you're getting like war flashbacks, yeah. - All episode or something. - Yeah, like she controlling, doesn't listen to me. I just have to kind of-- - What you're not listening to? - How I think money should be spent or things that we can maybe downsize on and-- - What do you think? What's your opinion? - I just think that we have a little too much that we don't need in life in general. I mean, like in our house, like we just-- - What is the person who's trying to be frugal, not gonna say? Wouldn't that like prevent us from meeting in this massive stack of financial documents? If the frugal person had to say, why can't he have a say? - He's not frugal. He tries to like come off as frugal, even like when we talk, but then he'll be the one who's like also making purchases. So it's pretty bad. I got to buy something and I got-- - But I can't. But I can't. - So is he the controlling one? - Yes. - Okay, so I mean, that was opposite of the, you know, intense Latina energy. I was kind of getting in here. So how's he the controlling one? - I think we're both fighting for the control. I think that's part of the issue. - Why does it have to be control now? Teamwork, what do you mean? So what does the control look like on his side? - Well, like he'll, he gets upset at any little thing that I try to do with the money or like it's always a problem or if I don't listen to how he wants to do things or what he wants to do, then it's a problem. And like my opinions on matters of things are not really perceived well. - Perceived well? - Accepted. - Does that mean what happens when you have an opinion? What happens? - It's not a good one. - Okay, and that might be the case, but like what happens when you have an opinion though? - It gets shut down. - You're just shutting her down? - Sometimes I'll tell her why. It's not a good opinion. - You can't even look at her. - Yeah, it's good, man, hello. - Because. - Nah, he just forcefully did. - No, that's usually how it goes. - 'Cause like she'll look at me like super sad whenever I tell her no, and then I just have to look up at the face and I'm like, and then I feel bad for telling her no or not agreeing with what she wants me to agree with. So sometimes it's just easier if I just look at the ceiling. - If you were looking, it's not sad, it's mad. - Yeah, sometimes you look mad and I don't like you looking mad, so. - Yeah, so like I'll tell her that it's not a good idea because of X, Y, and Z, or sometimes I'll just straight up just tell her no. - Okay, but you go do things, whether or not, she says yes or no. Is this an understood dynamic of the house that he can just do whatever? - No. - Okay, then what the (beep) like, like, that's what he can do. - Well, like, okay, for example, I didn't know that you were going to have to give leave this money for that trip that you guys took to go to that meet. That was completely not told to me. I knew that it was outside of us. - Well, I don't know. - I don't know. - You don't even know the number? - No, he didn't tell me. He just, like, he told me. - Was that a kid? - Huh? - Is that a kid? - He's a friend, his friend. - A friend, you're giving a friend money. - No, because they went on a trip for a competition and. - You competing in? - He's a good, he's a good. - What does that mean? - Wow. She said competition. - Yeah. - Yeah. - His friend, what does it mean when I say, what are you competing in? - That's not what you said, though. You said what the fuck are you competing in? - Yeah. - That's two different things, right? - No. - No, okay. - But now I know you're a coach, she said. - Yeah. - So without what have been your answer, by the way. - Anyway, so he went on this trip to watch his friend and his athlete compete. I didn't know if he was going. - Are you coaching? - College athletes. - What's for it? - Trek. - Oh, okay. - He went to watch them compete. This was outside of his school, that what the school pays for, like their competitions, and then he calls me when he's there, and he tells me like, "Oh, we went to the casino, "good thing I won $100, so I can pay him back for the trip." And I was like, cool. - So you were going to just gamble, you weren't watching, you were cruding. - Okay, one was multiple things were being covered on the trip, like recruiting, coaching, and there's other professionals there, so it's like I'm learning from them also. - Okay, what grade do you coach? - College. - Really. - Yeah. - Division. - What? - Really. - Yeah, he's really good at it, too. - I don't want to get teaching. - I don't teach you. - Not coaching, coaching, coaching, sorry. - Shop with discus. - Okay, if it's your body type a little more, that makes more sense. 'Cause I knew you weren't running. Okay. Okay. - I mean, there's people like, you don't have to look exactly like what you do, right? - If you know what to do. - I know, but you do fit that mold, though. - Okay. - Shop with, right? Wouldn't you say? - Yeah. - I'd say, versus the winter. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay. - Gotcha. - You gonna be okay with that? - Yeah. - You'll be fine. - And so, hold on, wait. And so, yes, we went to Casino, but only went to the Casino, because I had never went there before, and so whenever you sign up, you get the free play money. - What conference? - Oh, is the area in? Like, do we compete at the Southland? - Southland? - Mm-hmm. - Southland. - Casino, see? That's not-- - No. - That's not sunbelt. - It's not the power forers. It's like a, like a mid-major, and there's like one right below that. - Because down here, there's sunbelt. - Mm-hmm. - It's below sunbelt? - I don't-- - But it's D1? - Mm-hmm. - So, I would, it, okay. What do you make? Must not be much of that point. Like, I bring home that makes sense. - More of a volunteer position. - I would say upgraded volunteers here. - Okay, and are you sure it's D1? - Yeah. - How often do you guys win? - Well, all of our sports aren't the best. - Okay, so that team is the best out of all of them. - I got out of all the shit. - Well, we went to regionals. So, like, right before this nationals, there's regionals, and we have athletes that go to regionals. - Went to regionals. Just went, okay, very good. - Didn't you have some athlete win at regionals? - Yeah, so like we-- - What do you make? - Sebastian, 2400 a month. - No, it's less than that. - Do what goes making. - No, your, the paycheck comes in as 21, I thought. - Oh, that 21? - Yeah, no. - How are you sure it is D1? Do you even know? It's below sunbelt? - It's D1, it just--
- It sucks, it's shitty pay. - Yeah, it's just-- - No, I got involved. - Yeah, that is true. - She's saying it's bullet-toting for. - After taxes, what hits hits a gas, 21? - Oh my gosh, guys, how are you surviving on $4,100 a month? - Busting my ass. - Burly? - No, you're making even less. - No, I do extra stuff. I bring in extra money. - Oh, okay, okay. - I'm making two. - So, okay, yeah, sure. So, what's this extra you're doing? - I'm trying to start up a business. - Okay, that's not doing extra. You're trying to do extra. - But, okay, who are you coaching for no pay? - Hello, well. No, I'm-- - You just audibly said, "Hello, well." (laughing) Like, from your mouth. - In my head. - You're 29. - Okay, for me. Yeah, what do you make? - Well, it's-- - Or what do you do? What are you trying to do? What the fuck are we talking about? - A coffee cart business? - Yeah, there's definitely no coffee. It's not a crowded market at all. Okay, so, what's so special about your coffee cart? - Actually, a lot, it's special about it. - Of course, I'm sure, yeah. - Yes. - What is there, vanilla and mocha? - I should have brought some. - A caramel? - No, actually, no. None of that. My bestseller's like, "I hit the crunch." - The fuck do you call me? (laughing) - "I hit the crunch." - What is that? - So, I infuse culture into my coffee. - So, I'll look like coffee. - Tell myself, are you infuse culture? No, just tell me what the fucking flavor is. - Well, go ahead, the crunch. Okay, hit that, it's like caramel, but not it's made with goat's milk. - As I said. - And it's burnt, so it has deeper flavors. - Okay, great. And your next bestseller? - Pistachio. Pistachio. - I mean, I love it. I get pistachio lattes when it's on the menu. So, it's the menu. - Yeah, it is yummy. - Yeah, I do a lot. I just do like a different twist to like what-- - Well, no, pistachios everywhere. - But it's different. So, my coffee beans are different. - Is this one burnt as well? - No. - Hmm, burnt. - No. - Only got hit that's good burnt. - Okay, so what's different about your pistachio? - Well, so like the coffee that I use. I use cold brew. I make it myself. - No, no, no, no. - No, no, no, no, no. - Okay, see, it's like this. - So shut the fuck up. - Okay. - You can't tell someone to shut up when you ask them what do they do. - I can't do when they give a-- - Good answer. - It's not literally how it works. I literally, I'm starting my business. It's growing. I'm at a point where I'm breaking even. I'm not losing money anymore. Although I still have to pay back money that I did lost. - What? - No, what? - No, tell me what? - So, like I took out like a firm in order to invest-- - A firm for your business. - What else was I gonna do? - Small business loan? - Oh, you-- - Oh my goodness, that's insane. Affirming your startup costs is crazy. - But it wasn't that much. It's not like I'm starting up $10,000. - How much? - $4,000. - Okay, I mean, that's a lot of money to be puttin' on a firm when that shit can accrue like a 35% interest depending on what you got. This stack of paperwork is huge. You guys make no money. So you can't even tell me you're making money from this, right? You're a special Honduras patacio, pistachio. You will, great. - Well, I can't calculate your will. I can only calculate what you're doing, how long have you been doin' cart? - Four months? - Go fuck yourself. Well, what the fuck are we doing? And you haven't made a dime? What are we doin'? Okay, so this is pathetic. - Well, like the first two months was just bad. - Are you gonna go work for a real school someday? - Yeah, that's the goal. Give it a couple more years on this. - I think so now that you're track record, it doesn't sound like you guys do very well. - I just said what you're doing the best. Out of all the shit. - Well, I just-- - And I can his, he does really well. - So like before you go to nationals, you go to regionals, right? I mean, you don't know that. - You guys go to nationals? - There's a lot of people who don't go to nationals. - Well, based on everything off of nationals, there's lots of people who don't go to nationals. - Did you go to nationals? - No. - Well, that's what you're just trying to set up for. - I'm just saying, like you were talking about other schools, like you were naming other conferences in Texas. I'm just saying we did other better than other schools in Texas that from conferences you've heard of. - Okay, nearly 7% of imported coffee beans come from Honduras anyway, so. - That's a low percentage. - I guess, but it's not as like hardcore unique 'cause like you're trying to make it sound. - Okay. - I thought this was gonna be like, ooh, less than 1% like this is gonna be crazy. - Oh, no. I don't have that kind of money to invest on that kind of crazy source stuff. - Okay, well listen, I love the entrepreneurial mindset. I don't want to shit on that completely, but all I know is you guys do not make much money. - Yes. - Yep. - And you guys fight about everything regarding finances anyway. I was like, you can't do things. He does whatever he wants. So it's just like, is this what we should be doing? In general, and I know from the pre-interview and everything that of the venture you're doing, he's kind of growing resentful of kind of defending you right now a little maybe 'cause he's on camera and another dude's calling her out, but he was fully resentful. Why? - I was resentful. - You don't think I do enough. He doesn't think I do enough. I don't know what else he wants me to do. - When it comes to that, when it comes to that, yeah, I don't think she does enough, but in terms of what do you mean? - I think there's no, she can be doing more on the creative side in terms of putting her face out there for more businesses or people to see her. - So he wants me to post more. Yeah, I should be posting more, but I genuinely like sometimes don't have the time, mental capacity to be worried about a post and like making it perfect and all these things. He doesn't think I'm doing enough. I'm doing as much as I can with my capacity, with my capabilities for my business, but he doesn't think I'm doing enough. - Maybe, but I mean, you don't care about her pursuing this, do you? I do. What do you mean? In what way? So I want this to be something that turns into something successful. Like I've reached out to people to have her set up her coffee cart at events that are going on at the school. I let her know other things are going on. - Okay, okay, that's fine. - But what is she doing? Because again, and the pretty, like I mean, I was literally told that it was a therapy session, a full on like core easy therapy session your entire pre-interview. - So like there's the posting thing that she doesn't do enough of. Then I tell her I was like, she needs to get in front of people and not everything can be done just on social media. So like there's plenty of businesses around where we live, there's neighborhoods, there's apartment complexes, there's just people in our area that she can put a face. - I mean, yeah, that might be good for business. And you can give advice, but is she, does she want the advice? - I think she just wants the advice to say that we communicate. I don't think she actually wants to listen or do what I say. - Well, can it be tangible advice? Because when am I going to have the time to go put my face in front of businesses, to go pitch myself to people when I literally have to have this full time job that I don't want to have but I have because we need to pay bills. You know, like you want me to do 100% in these two things, but there's not enough time in the day. - You just got your nails and had brunch all day on Monday. - Which literally was planned. It was planned. - There you go. - So far in the day. - Okay, then plan to do that, but you can't plan to do the stuff that needs to be done for the business to succeed. - I do make plans for the business. - How much are you helping for her business? - You up a lot? - I think so. - That's terrible, y'all should be helping now. - I am all looking at me. - You're like doing nothing. - Okay, I mean, you don't have to. I'm just curious because if she's like, if she's not putting this time and energy and the things that you think she should be doing, are you stepping up and having to take care of things that she's not? - Yeah, so I mean, like outside of more stuff around the house, I mean, do more stuff around the house, but I hope with the coffee carts now that my season, my school year is done. So I do things like that. - How many events has she done in this four months? Fourish? - What the fuck? - Five or six? - Oh, come on, in four months, like come on. That's pathetic. - And I have already set up like 20. - 20 over the course of what? Contract sign? - In the next month. - In the next month and a half. - Contract sign? - Yeah, if that's what you wanna call it. - No, I would say, did they sign the contract? - Yes, yes. - Oh, you paid to be in the events, so it's not that they did not hire you for it. You're just paying. - I'm doing a wedding. - Do you have a web site? - I have my Instagram account. - Okay. - I don't know. - Give me your phone, open your phone. What the fuck are we doing? So you don't have a website, okay. So how much time are you having to spend helping her with this shit then? - Which again, you can't do, but it seems like she doesn't want to get my sense like she wants to be independent on this. - I don't think I spend too much, but in terms of like the posting and stuff, I spend almost as much time on my own stuff as I do on hers. So I'm really, I'm sending her stuff all the time in terms of like. - But you can, you can do, but does she want, do you want that? - Do you want him to do that? - I want. - Well, you can't say you have no time, you spend an average of almost basically five hours a day on the phone. That's this week. Last week it was over six hours. - I spend my, or not my work. - Or on your phone at work. - Because we're never worth it. I thought you were supposed to be making money. - Whenever it's dead and we'll have hours, we'll have like a busy hour and then we'll be dead for like two hours because it's still a new restaurant. I'm just on my phone. - What else am I gonna do? - Well, it's Instagram eight hours a day. - Okay. - Okay, texting six hours a day, Facebook for four hours a day. What are you doing on Facebook for four hours a day? At that point, you should have a lot of research. - I do a lot of research. - At that point, you should have a website. You should be managing things. You should be doing a lot of things. - So there's so many things. - If you're on it, take talk to ours today. You posting coffee. - No. - Okay, then what the fuck are we doing? So that is time you keep you doing stuff. - The thing is, if you don't want to, that's fine. But it sounds like he has a problem with it - And do you agree or disagree? - No, it's not.
- Overthink, here's my thing, whenever it comes to posting stuff, I overthink it so much. I have so many things on Canva that I've created, but then I'm like, it's not perfect. And I told him, I'm like, if you had this much of an issue, and like the way that I would want you to help, instead of half as just saying like, this is what you should be doing, and like, I send you stuff. Like, why don't you, can you just log in on your phone, and can you just post the stuff that you create because I don't want to be overthinking like, whether this is perfect for me-- - You wanted to help with the business or not, that's what I'm looking for you. - I wanted to help full in if he's full in, or be in, or be-- - Okay, what's your take? - So part of like, all of this is that, so we have one car now, and so we rely heavily on this one car to transport and to get to the event that we need to get to. So I, we said, the agreement was, I have to stop Ubering because we can't just be putting the miles on the car, and then plus where we live, we have to drive out maybe like 15, 20 minutes to actually get orders or people that need to get going. So I had to stop doing that. - Are you in or out though? - I wanted to know the perspective on what she said. - I'm in. - You son of a bitch, I'm in. - Do you, and you want him to be in? - You log in on your phone and just post, just for the thing that I'm not good at. I suck at it, I overthink it, it stresses me out. - Then why are you doing it? - I love doing the events, being there, doing it, but the social media part? - Well, that's a part of running a business, work for someone else that has some. - I have a husband who's amazing at it, and he can be in it, and he can help me in that way. - Can, can he though? I don't know. - And really, all he has to do is log in and post the things that he makes. - So it's your dream, but you expect him to do your dream. Support me. - I don't think it's right or wrong. You're not doing what needs to be done to promote the business and the way that makes us money. Like, I had to give up what I was doing that was giving us extra money, so we could have-- - Fairly giving us money, it was wear and tear on the car. It wasn't even doing much. But it was more money that bank account understand that it was wear and tear on the car, but I didn't have to ask you for money because I was doing that. Now, I'm having to ask you for money. My accounts weren't going negative. Now they're going to have to make money so far, right? - I will make money this month. - What? How's the marriage? Fine. - It's ups and downs. - Not based on the face she gave. - Tell me. - It was last year. - You know, we went through-- - I don't know, shit, dude. - A separation. - Oh, you guys were separated last year. - And then we came back strong and it was great and everything and then it just feels like it's like-- - Going towards separation again? - No, not to that extent because I feel like I wouldn't just quit on us. - What was the separation? How long have you guys been married? - Two and a half years. - But we were separated last year, so in our marriage. - Yeah. - How long? - Five, six months. - Oh, fuck. - Yeah. - Do you think it divorced? - Yeah. There it was. - How close for you guys to divorce? - How close, I was all the way in. I was 40. - What pain for what? - He's still paying. He has a payment plan for all the divorced stuff that he had. - You were going through a divorce. - Yeah. Yeah. So like you first started off as a separation and then it just-- I was like, yeah, let's just do the divorce. - Oh! - Let's just give up. - Well, what do you-- I mean, are you holding these-- - I was fighting for it. - I was fighting for a marriage. I was literally trying to do therapy, trying to do therapy. - Why were you out? - I just felt like I had to do a lot of things to babysit us in terms of making sure that all of the job stuff was taken care of. - But that's kind of what I'm hearing today again. - Yeah. - Based on your critique of how she's running her thing that isn't bringing money but takes all her time. - Yeah. - Okay, so go on, sorry, you weren't-- - Yeah, so we were working together and I think that was a bigger stress. So like I had to make sure that she was doing her job so that way I could do my job and then it wasn't affecting both of us 'cause if one of us got fired then we were both pretty much gonna get fired or we weren't gonna be able to do it together. And then just-- And then I ended up getting a speedy and sick hit so that stopped me from being a truck driver. And then, so that's whenever I started coaching and then she wasn't loving truck driving by herself. I ended up being like a whole-- - What the-- - So you guys were probably making more money. Truck drivers, money guys, make nothing. Someone go be a truck driver today. - I can't. - Yeah. - I'm gonna be real with ya. Your dad is not the same as everyone else's. You've got your own unique mix of credit cards, maybe some medical bills, personal loans and collections. Whatever, your interest rates are different. Your payments are different. Your life is different. So why do you need some one-size-fits-all solution that treats you like a number? Some generic calculator that spits out, just pay more. - As if you hadn't thought of that already. That's what sets PDS apart. They don't just look at your balance and say good luck. 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Click the link in the description to learn more. Take the quiz. Take advantage of 50% off. And finally, unfit finances for good. When I was truck driving alone, I ended up driving for a local company, doing like rock hauling and stuff. It was making like $2,000 a week. It was crazy. Yeah, it was hard because money. I was working like 15 hours a day, waking up at 2 a.m. We were going through the separation and divorce. I wasn't sleeping. I was like, OK, mentally. Like I was not being a safe driver. Oh, what happened? What did you do? So in a span of two weeks, a lot, yeah. What? OK, so first, I got a speeding ticket. The same one that he got actually was really funny. It was a miles over. Yeah, what are we doing? I'm going to see your professional drivers. Yes. Clearly not. I was static. I was not OK. What do other people's lives to risk those multi-ton vehicles? What are you doing? So speeding ticket, what else? You're making it sound like more? OK, well, the other things that happened with the truck, it was with my personal preference. What? I hit some animals on the road. Were they just spinning across the road or what? Yeah, yeah. Who'd you hit? It was like a coyote. OK. The dog. A dog. What's wrong with you? You're evil. Not evil. Sounds like it. All in two weeks, come on, hitting multiple animals and speeding tickets. I was checked out of life. Well, guess what? And then you made other living things actually check out a life against their consent. And myself, like, shit, I was going through panic attacks every day. I was in the emergency room, like, three different times. Why are you cheating? I was fainting. Because I think you have to hear it. He left. He left. If you're fainting, he left. I told you, yeah, there's no f***ing ubers around. You're being selfish at that point, and the selfishness had consequences. Anyways, I ended up having a car-- Of a dog. A truck. I had an accident with the truck. It was a small accident, but that's what got me fired. No accountability, either. It's all excuses for it. It's the reality of what I mean at that time. I didn't choose for my husband to leave me and put me in the emotional trouble that I was in. But you were going through hard times. You were going to the emergency room. You were fainting. If that is happening, do not get behind the wheel no matter what-- What was I supposed to do to my-- Not do that because you're going to get people killed. OK. That's all that matters in the end is the human life. Yeah, which is what-- Yes, your self is bitch. OK, well, if I didn't get fired, I was going to quit. Because I was like, I can't keep doing this shit, obviously. I wasn't OK, OK. I wasn't thinking properly. Oh, yeah, we know that. Clearly. No shit, selfish. OK. Come on. I got fired. I have an accident in my record. So I can't be hired for like three years or so. Good. You deserve it. Never put you behind the wheel again. I'm fine. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to. Insane. But we should maybe figure something else so we can make money so I'm OK if someone of us does maybe get back at the truck driving. No, you guys are dangerous. Absolutely not. You need other jobs. I'm just thinking we're stupid. He shouldn't have got enough. Let's get you a course career certification. People in the audience have used those. For both of you, I don't know, because this coaching thing isn't working. For both of you, I don't give a fuck. Why would I give a fuck? I need to put food on the table. I don't care. Do you have kids? Well, I understand, but if we could find some of these-- If kids? No! Then I don't-- then OK. Then you have a little more flexibility. But I'll get you a course course again. A lot of people in the audience have converted them into six figure jobs. OK. OK.
- What? - What? - Okay. - What do you want? - Oh shit, okay, so, okay. Okay, you were one court date away from actually finalizing the divorce. - Yeah. - Why the fuck didn't you? - I realized my biggest thing was I wasn't feeling listened to. - Guys, you brought that up at the beginning of this conversation that you're still not being listened to. - Yeah, so I don't think anything's been solved. - Yeah. - So what, tell me. - So I think I felt like I was finally being listened to in this and then-- - Temporary. - Yeah. - And then when I gave up and I finally signed the papers 'cause I was like, I can't keep going through this. If he doesn't want me, he doesn't want me. Let me just sign your papers here. You go do whatever you want with your life. He all of a sudden felt like that was enough too. - Regrat? - No. - Really? - Because it doesn't sound like things to a better base on what you've said in this conversation. - Well, there was a time when everything's were getting better. She was being more responsible, more on top of things. - Yes, there was a time, but it's not today. I'm just not enough. I'm not gonna be enough. - What do you have to be so dramatic about it? Like, if you're not-- - No, because that's literally how you make me feel all the time. Because it's like a roller coaster where like, if I'm not at my 100% best, then I'm not enough. But I can't always be at my 100% best. - There is an in between of like 50% and 100. - Well, you're not okay with that. - You're not doing 100 in your barely at 50, right? - No. - Okay. - Emotionally. - Can you say that there's more things that you could be doing? There's a few more things that I could be doing yet. That's, there's always gonna be more that I could be doing. But I'm like, always exhausted. I'm mentally exhausted. I'm depressed. - Like, you're always exhausted. That's just part of being a grown up. Like, that's-- - It is, it really is. - And I'm like, I don't understand. Like, that's why I get so angry. And like, I just don't understand how the thought process of having a kid is possible if you're saying you're always tired. That can't be a f**k. - No, option if you're-- - Oh, I'm depressed, I'm tired. I can't do anything with my jobs right now. - So you want a third? - No, what are you talking about, all the kids? - I can't. - I want no, I want to set us up to be at a point where we can have-- - But make 2000 hours a month. He has a joke of a job, it's a hobby. And you, well, I don't even know, it's just pathetic. I mean, you're horrible by in the wheel, getting people killed, you should've been arrested. Like, what the f**k is wrong with you? - That's a little extreme. - Not really, you're putting people's lives in danger. Let's get you the f**k off the road forever. Who the f**k are you? - Yeah, let's get me off the road. - Well, she's off the road now. - Yeah. - For even your own personal car? - Yeah, barely drive. - We definitely shouldn't let you in general go in forward, that's for sure. So, how are you setting yourself up to have a kid? I don't see that happening. Look at the stack. - With the business growing, it can get to the point where that will take place. - Dude, she has already died. What the f**k are we talking about? - There's only one direction for it to go, and that's up. - No, it's not, it's on the bottle. - No, no, no, there's another direction. - She can default on her deck because you guys have so much debt and so much spending and bullshit. And then all of a sudden, whoopsie! We just don't even have money to even get the supplies needed even go to these events and pay for the events and all these different things. - I guess that is possible. - Yes, there's a lot of things. So you think businesses don't collapse overnight? - No, they don't. - This is a hobby. You have a hobby, you have a hobby. And the waitressing isn't doing sh**. - No, it's not doing sh**. I wanted to stop waitressing. I had the opportunity to stop. - Or just wait for somewhere that makes more money, dude. No one's going to this place. Or this is too cheap. Something's wrong. - It's starting out. They don't even have their liquor license yet. Once they get their liquor license, more people will come in and be better. - Who cares, why are you supporting them? It's a business, go for a better business. You need to make more money. - There's nothing else. - In our town. There's nothing better. - In our town, there's nothing better. - They had moved to a place with opportunity. - We can't sell the house yet. - You own a house. - What is it with these people I'm talking to that are owning these houses in no opportunity areas? Why are you. - You do that. - And we were making a lot of money. - You know why it's cheap? Because there's no opportunities. - When we bought it, we were making a picture of money. - There's a college in the town, so we thought that was the opportunity. - Yeah. - We thought if we can. - Is it the college you work at? - Yeah. - Well then clearly that college sucks in like every way possible. - I mean, if there's only a restaurant, it's not the best restaurant there. - And yet it's like failing. - Well they're starting out. - I come from a college town. - Hundreds if not at least 1,000 restaurants. - Did you come from a big college town? 'Cause this is a small college town. - Also D1, and it's in the Mac conference, okay? Similar to the Sunpell. And if that's doing better than your conference, then you need to give up. - Can I give it like another year or two before I give up? - Well you make no money. She wants to have a kid and she's aging out, so. - I am aging out. - Yeah, but I'm older so I feel like there's a little bit more. - That isn't it. - What does that have to do with anything? - Because if I can be patient and see, what's the aging out? Well, how long do we have? - How long do we have? - So what? - Yours is fine, minus running out. - So you're saying like, 32 you're done. You won't be able to? - Probably, I don't. I already have that chance. - My medicine is better, but you don't wanna be young and spy for the kids. - Okay, and so then I have to get a job based on us having a kid, which I understand I have no problem doing. I can get a kid. - But do you want to have a kid? - Yes. - I mean, you know what the worst are last year's. - Yes, I want to have a kid, but I don't want to be the only thing that's holding the household afloat. And that's where I feel like that's what it is. - Exactly, which is basically, is love language by the way as a coach. I mean, in the entire pre-interview, it's that like working together, you two together and trucking showed who you really are. And he can't feel like he loves someone who isn't making their lives better. And that you guys are on the same page. You guys are on the same team. All the shit, and for someone like him who is a professional coach, that actually does better. - No, Shay, he would want to leave. Want to be with someone who's actually contributing. - Yeah. - He looks down on you, and you're not a provider. You don't do anything. - Oh, this is a failure. - It does feel like he was down on it, but I do. - Didn't say you looked down on her, but everything you were saying is looking down on her. - Oh, well. - That is how I perceive it too, just so you know. - But that might not be invalid. - No. I mean. - And he can't be with someone that he considers pathetic and not contributing to the relationship. - Which is actually crazy, because I'm busting my ass to bring in the remaining money that we need. - That's been worse because you're busting your ass and only making $2,000 a month, meaning that it's actually worse, 'cause there's people that are lazy that make more than you. - Which is crazy. Oh my God. - No, that just means you suck. - Okay. - You're a horrible teammate. - She used to be in like pharmaceutical sales, and I told her maybe we said something we should try to get back into. - No, I'm not going to go back to that shit. I hated it. I hated it. - Yeah, so you hate making money now. You hate making money, at least. - It's so much. - Money problems would be solved if you were doing that. - More to life than just money, and I'm not going to have a job where I'm hating myself because of the job that's so unethical that I'm having to do. - Right, there's more to life than money, right? There is a lot. - You guys have to pay the bills, and if you want kids, you need to be set up for it, and you guys have a lot of debts. - And the number one reason why people get divorced is because of finances, right? - It's not the number one, but it's a leading cause. - Okay, it's up there. - And if you allow, yes, but you almost got divorced already, guys, you got closer than any couple on the show. - Yeah, because I know. - Because he just gave up. He just wanted to give up with the towel. - I think it's necessarily giving up like he accepted the L, and you guys are now, like your relationship might not be a complete failure, but your finances are. And if that's a big part of it, if that's a big part of it, which it sounds like it is, like, yeah, maybe you guys did lose. - Yeah, I would that was my mindset for a bit. - I just don't see how I don't do enough when I am working. I've always been working. - How can you keep on saying you don't understand how you don't do enough, and then I'm giving examples of how you're not doing enough. - So, again, in the, you're like pre-interview therapy session, he was saying, or he always makes it feel like you're making him out to be the bad guy. Is that true? That's what you said. - Oh, me? - Yeah. - Yeah, I think if I don't agree with what she says, then I just turn into the bad guy. If I don't 100% support every single idea that she has, and then I'm just the negative Nancy that just poops on every plan. - And that's kind of crazy, 'cause you're supporting his insane dream job that is bullshit, and he's supporting your insane dream job that is bullshit. You guys are supporting each other in your lunacy. - But I whenever I took the job, I was also ubering to make up for money that we were in. - Make more of your high school coach. - Yes, that's something that is being thought about and I'm working through trying to get stuff out. - So it's like, if you guys are already supporting each other in your lunacy dreams, then how can you say he's the villain? - I never said he was a villain. - You make him feel like he is, though. - And he makes me feel like I'm not enough. Clearly we're both doing something wrong with how we're making each other feel. - Are you enough? - Yes. - How? - I'm pretty great, I work hard. - But you don't bring anything to that hard work. - Is it a result, it's not the actual working that makes the difference to me? - I don't know how to better structure myself in order to get better results, but instead of criticism, maybe I could use some guidance and some help. - I know that I'm not. - He's from a professional business or how is he giving that? - Well, but then don't give the criticism if you can't give the help. - It sounds like he is trying for what it's worth. - He is trying and I do recognize that. - Well, then what are you talking about? You specifically told Lindsay that he does not meet your needs. What is that? What does it even mean? - Well, like emotionally and stuff, you know? Like in a marriage, like I want my husband to support me lovingly, not to always be like a father who's like looking down on me criticizing me. - Yeah, that might be his coaching nature. - What does this not mean in needs that happens? - They want to be loved. - Oh, tell me. - I want to feel loved, like, you know? - Examples of lady, come on. - Okay, okay, and I've been telling him this. When we started, it was like a fairy tale, not a fairy tale, but like-- - Welcome to every relationship. - No, okay, but like why can't we get back to that? Like why can't you hug me? Why can't you give me kisses? - No, hug her. - Which is-- - I have to ask for it. I have to ask for it.
Why am I having to beg my husband to give me affection and attention? Why? That doesn't make sense, you're my husband. You should want to give me a kiss when I come home. You should want to give me a kiss, goodbye. You should want to wrap your arms around me. You should want to take pictures of me like you used to, but you don't. Because I know that you're losing me at the picture thing. But at least give it her heart heart. It was an ass thing, it was an ass thing. Yeah, so like I do, I hug her, I kiss her, do I smother her in hugs and kisses like she wants? No. No, but I'm always having to ask for it. Just because you, just because you ask, like first thing when you come in through the door, it doesn't mean you have to always ask. No, I always ask. That's like me saying I come home where it's dinner. I don't have to ask for dinner. I can just make it myself. Like, give me a second, I will give you a hug and a kiss, right? But you don't. But you don't. Okay. No, like literally lately, I get home and I'm like, let me see how long it'll take. Let me see how, that's how bad it's gotten. Because in my head, I'm like, does he even care? To give me a hug? I mean, like does it, does it even matter to him? I don't know. I don't know how to argue with that. But if I see you every single day, we wake up and sleep together, like we sleep in every single day. I don't think I need to welcome you home, like you came back from war with the hug and a kiss, unless I'm wrong in that logic. Yeah, you're wrong in that logic. Okay. We're not like friends living together, we're husband and wife. You work, like not even half a mile away from me. I stopped by the restaurant to see you on, like twice a week for lunch. Which is nice. I do like that. Okay. So like, I get, I don't need to shower you with hugs and kisses every time that I see you. But that's okay. A concern here. I thought you both said you work your asses off. Would you sleep in every day? Because I've been trying to make up for that time that I've missed out with her when I didn't go nowhere, you shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, we sleep it every day. Shut the fuck up. We usually wake up by seven, shut up. This has just been the past. Shut up. Come on. Come on. It's great. How have you guys? Three times a week. What? Then what are you talking about? Three times a week. So you're getting affection. You're getting love, you're getting touch, right? Unless this is like it's not looking at you and it's just like, you know, like an animal. I like the lights on. So like that's, there's been times when I ask for it and I get rejected. Well, that's going to happen sometimes. That's happens a lot. Okay. Well, but if you're at three times a week and I think you're okay, it's a healthy mountain, right? Once or twice a week. Okay. So it's going down. Don't be German. Okay. Well, Lindsay is saying that she said she feels constantly rejected. Constantly. So what does that mean? That means I put myself out there. I try to like start something and then it's, there's always an excuse. There's always a reason of why not. When I try to initiate, it gets shut down every single time that I try to initiate. It gets shut down. So I have to wait until he feels like it. Well, yes. Both have to feel like it. That's not crazy. Every single time. If I don't feel like it and he wants it, then I'm going to get myself in the mood for him. Okay. You're better than me. I don't want to tell you. I will say there is a mathematical equation here if we're just talking basic biology. If he wants to, you don't want to and you say, okay, that's 30 seconds. If you want to and he doesn't want to, I could be like a 10 minute marathon that he has to like, because whenever I'm in the mood, it's great a stuff and you can't argue with that. I'll say, and I was just saying to get him to come, it's like 30 seconds, you're a mission. I'm not. I'm easy. I'm easy, come on. I make it a whole performance. I guess not something that I just jump in and out of, so like it takes. Give me your phone, buddy. Okay. What is this background? Black people in anime. You don't want anime? No, it's just always the thing. It's very interesting. I like the only one who like it. No, but every single time. Black people tend to like anime. It's definitely following very goony content on Twitter, I will say. There's some booty shaking and shit like that, which is a little interesting. Then booty, booty, booty. It says everything on everything on X so far is soccer and ass. I don't use X. Okay. There is a guy he sends like stuff and I have to have a co-worker that sends stuff. Sends what? Stuff that's not appropriate? Where? On Instagram? Okay. What's that? Maybe. Huh? So that's just where it's somewhat. What's that? What? What? Just booties and boobs and why? Just his sense of humor. Really good to know what he was talking about. And Brad and I are both gooners, but we don't send each other. You know, that's not he past time. Is that what he sends? Sometimes. Oh my God. Okay. You talk to a lot of people and what's that? Why? Uh, part of recruiting. Hmm. Okay. He's always recruiting. He's always working. Who is this person from? I'm believing in your name, but who is this? An athlete. Why do you do video calls with her? Uh, very frequently. Talk about coaching stuff. Uh, okay. Yeah. Some of it is coaching talking. It's a little interesting. You've met her a lot. Fick her up a lot from the airport. She's from a different country. I'm from Hawaii. What's your relationship with her? My athlete? What's my relationship with my ex? She's your athlete? Yeah. She plays there. Yeah. Extra school? Yeah. But she lives in Germany. Correct. Okay. I just didn't know the student athletes and coaches texted this much. It's just a lot. Listen, I haven't seen anything like alarming. It's just, it is a lot of texting. It's very weird. But maybe that's normal. I don't know. I think, um. It's always the women. Why, why aren't you texting the men that much, though? That's something that I try to figure out. Like, the guys don't talk a lot. No, you're not texting them as much. I call them, but. But you're really texting these very attractive women a lot. But they're kids. They're not kids. I wouldn't say they're attractive, but I guess I can see how someone else would. What? Come on. But she's attractive. What the fuck are you talking about? What do you, come on. Don't with that. What is this? What is this? Cola fly? Oh, just it looks like hinge, but I guess it's not. Okay, that's good. Who that's concerning? I do think that he invests more time than necessary into literally every. Maybe, maybe not. I'm not, I'm not 100 percent sure. It's just, it's, it's just interesting that it's always the young women, you know? Sure. What's the gender split on your team? Uh, I have two guys and four girls. Uh, and then next year, I'm going to have four guys and seven girls. Whenever I travel, I'm gone for three or four days of the week. Okay. And whenever he's home, he's working now. And that's from the start of the second week of January. Well, it's a great sense, but. So, like, the whole second semester, I'm pretty much gone half a week. Well, there wasn't a thing to be concerned about, but he's around these attractive women. You're not concerned with him traveling? No. It's just the fact that, like, he doesn't know how to balance, like, his work and. Well, that's the guy's job. Either you support his dream job or you don't. I don't know what to tell you. But he gets home and he's still working. Okay. But. He doesn't stop working. But part of it is that I talk to international athletes. And so, the time zone in Germany or in New Zealand are drastically different than times here. So, I have to be on my phone. What is this other woman that I have in my nose that. His job? Who is she? The job. Oh. Oh. Okay. Okay. Okay, what do you guys think your financial score is zero to ten? Negative. Point zero. Five. Before we keep going, quick word from today's sponsor. Look, every business owner right now is hearing the same thing. You need AI. You need AI. You need AI. Okay. Great. But if your financials are in one place, inventory and somewhere else, HR is a mess and nobody can get a straight answer from the data, AI is not the problem your systems are. That's why today's video is sponsored by NetSweep. You probably know NetSweep. It is the AI-powered business management suite that securely connects all of your data. Financials, inventory, commerce, HR, CRM, one source to truth, trusted by over 43,000 customers. And NetSweep next is the next huge leap because AI is built into everything you do. It surfaces custom insights throughout your day. AI agents help you handle routine work. And if you've got a question, you can just ask.
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Okay, I can't be negative, but okay, if you want your hamburger, financial score, get it for free at kylefamer.com. Figure out where your score is here to 10, and the world of finances, where you're doing poorly, where you're doing great. If you don't want to be like you got to ones up on the show, make sure you download the Dolores budgeting app. Take the free trial, see if it works for you. Works for tens of thousands of monthly activities for a reason. And if you like a cent of the annual version, because it saves almost 50% and you get the physical version of my 30-day meal plan signed by me, mailed directly to you, and also the digital version of the cookbook. So check that out. Well, so I understand you guys who relationship is messy. Yes, you should, you should hug your wife. You should kiss your wife. That's normal. That's fine. I understand if it's up and down with sex, that's happens. We're busy. We're tired. Whatever. That's normal. But like, I mean, guys, what are we doing? And if you guys just think each other are the controlling ones in the relationship, like, how do we get anywhere? I don't know. How do you guys communicate on money? Like all this, all this right here. You said, you know what? He doesn't know anything. So where's the communication on the money? So she tells me this is the plan, and this is how things are going to happen. And I trust her, and I say, okay, so I send her the money whenever she asks for it, and then whenever I need money for some money. We had a combined account when we got married, and we just never used it. And that got us out. Why should he have to send money? That's weird. Because it's just easier. No, it's not. If everything, no, it's actually not. It's actually easier to budget as a household. If everything goes into one account. I'm down. Is it not? Didn't care to use it or do anything with it. Yeah. We never got back to doing it again. So it's just because like, we had the same job before. So our paychecks were the exact same. How can you manage how for two accounts that you just don't even see insight into? How can you manage the household? Because most payments come, like, I just pay for it. He only is in charge of the internet and the car insurance and his credit card minimum. So when he gets paid every month, he keeps what he needs for those payments and just sends me the rest. And then I pay everything else. So it's just easier. Because he was really bad at making payments. Like, he would end up like making late payments and things like that. So how do we talk about the money, though? You just accept it when she's not seeing things? Yeah, she hasn't written down and we look at it. So she would be the controlling one, then. Yeah. Because I organize it. I'm the organized one. So can you say he's controlling, then? If he says he can't spend money. Well, yeah. Oh, you're the one managing the money. I'm really that dynamic is just so confusing to me. I mean, you're going to spend $400 more than you brought in. So like, I think I, she says, I'm controlling because like, I don't, I tell you she's not a lot of go to the grocery store because anytime we, she like, what? That's crazy. A list of two items should always get 10 items. Like, it's never, ever has a bit of a trip where she goes in for exactly what she needs and only gets those items or less. It's always more. So I said, no more going to the grocery store. So you go to the grocery store, then? Yeah. Most of it. Well, that's weird and not let your wife go to the grocery store. Why? We have a conversation around budgeting around what we're able to spend on and we allocate from there instead of just saying, no, you can't go to the grocery store. I understand that, but if it saves an argument of her, just constantly keep on doing the same thing. No, what saves an argument is that this is avoiding forever and letting her build and then blow up. But I have no problem. I have no problem. Just go into the grocery store. Sure, but you're gone sometimes. Oftentimes. You're gone along. Whenever I come back, I make sure that Sunday I go to the grocery store and get what we need to do for the week. I plan accordingly. I say, hey, I got this for you for the week or I got this for me for a long time. For you for the week for me. This is so weird. Maybe she is right. Did you guys have more like roommates then? Married couple. Yeah. I think so. You're good with that. That's what you want. No, that's not what I want. Well, it seems like you're the one encouraging with how you're managing it. I'm just trying to stop an argument because I feel like we just communicate just for the fact to just saying that we just talk like no thing actually comes out of our communicating when we were given actual tactics of how to communicate. You don't want to do that stuff. That's not true conversation things like that. I need to hold a spoon in my hands and always talking tactic of how to communicate that we were taught yet we don't use any of these things that we were taught. Okay. So when we did therapy before and the therapist said we came to the conclusion that I make everything just sound like a suggestion and not an actual answer. I changed the way that I said things. I made more decisive statements. It was either yes or no. And then once I did that, you still weren't listening to me and then I told you I didn't want to be that person that's just yelling at you to make sure that you listen to me even though you said that's the only way that you listen. So I changed how I communicate and nothing changed. So holding a spoon does not give me faith that all of a sudden we're going to learn how to effectively communicate. Okay. It was just that's one example of different things that we were taught and how to better communicate. I understand that and I gave you something that we actually went to therapy before. Therapy that therapy that we did like those two times like Oh, two sessions come on. That's what I think. Thank you. And she wasn't a couple's therapist. She was my therapist that I was like, can I bring my husband in because you shouldn't do that into individual therapy. No, you're talking about I'm talking about the first one, the pre-marital therapist was like one thing. Okay. But I'm saying you said before there was actual issues between us because we were the same issues. But at okay. I do recognize so for the before everything went down last year. We almost got divorced. I was living in the Lulu land thinking like nothing was a problem. Everything was fine. Wait, really? Were you bringing up issues? He would bring things up like you're just ignoring them? No. How are you bringing them up jokingly sometime? How are you bringing them up? It's his answer. I don't think that this is a healthy way of going about this. I think this is taking away a lot of okay. For example, we were at truck driving. She would constantly stop for a lot for whatever reasons, whether yeah, pee breaks. And then the pee breaks turned into she was having conversations with her family members and she had to solve a lot of problems. Driving? No. And so she had to stop driving like pull over to help out with whatever that the family had going on. And so they used to be very dependent on me. On and off, that's not a problem. But it was every single day. And so whenever she's only allowed to drive the eight hours that she's supposed to, that puts me behind on the hours that I need to be driving to make up like for. But did you actually bring up the issue? Yes, I said that you needed to stop doing this. No, he would say things like maybe this is not the right way to handle this. And you're not at the hand are you? Yeah, I was at the time. Are you not? No. How are you not then? Because now I actually like take into account what he's saying and like look internally and I look at his arguments. He's a president of conversations. I don't know. He's a president. And now I actually have conversations before I couldn't even communicate. No, he doesn't. You do. He doesn't. Yeah. No, he doesn't. Because before I would like, I don't know what to say. I would shut down. And now I actually speak up. I give you my opinions. I tell you what I don't like what this that in the other. Now every time he brings up his honesty, he just says, you're mean. That's what he said. That's what he needs. That's what he likes because when I was nice and we, he never listened to me. So now I have to be bitchy and I have to be mean for him to be receptive to anything. That's how we like that. What are we doing right now? What are you? I was just being nonsense. Yeah. No, like I would like to tell you what needs to be done. You reply back after I lay it down on how it needs to be done. You say, I feel like I'm not enough. I feel like I don't do enough. What I do isn't enough. And it makes me feel like I'm not good enough. That's what happens whenever I say how we need to do better. And so whenever you reply with that, I don't, when am I supposed to do? I just, I think I speak on nothing but facts and you just speak on all emotions. And I can't argue with your emotions. And that's why I just stop arguing. That's true. Emotions are impossible to argue with. It really is because this is not logical. It never is. I mean, that is true. Yeah. And I deal with that every day on this show. You're feeling as a feeling.
I think I take a lot of what he says into consideration, but it doesn't separate the fact that we're in a marriage where feelings do matter. Feelings do matter yes. But if the feeling is the entire argument and outweighs the reality of a situation that becomes an impossible conversation. Maybe we've been having a lot of impossible conversations because I've been very emotional lately because things have just been really, really bad. Again, so we're headed towards the divorce again. Why are things really, really bad? That's what I tried to ask at the beginning. You guys can't answer. If things are really, really bad, what is it? I need insight into this. I was told, guys. What's really bad is that I just don't think that she does enough. I really was relying on her to take off with this coffee car, not even take off. Like, I'm okay with, it's not, I don't say what I say where it's at, but I was putting faith that she was going to be putting more work into it to be at a better place and that's not what's happening. I don't always have to be just me who's putting in all the work. So I'm not doing anything? It's exhausting. So I'm not doing anything for your business. No, I'm not talking about, you're doing something for my business, but it's summer vacation. You don't have as much workload as you did, but what are you doing? I sent you a whole sheet of companies and people that we need to go talk to to take off with this business. Did I not? But you just give, yes. Did I not? Did I do that? I did. Did I send you this stuff? Yeah. Okay. And so I think we can agree that my strong suit is not talking to people and putting a bubbly face to these people, right? So why is that not something that you do? I present the idea to you on this is who we need to go talk to and you never follow on any of that. Because my schedule's already full. And then you don't even know how many events that I have signed you up for that just didn't go through. I do because I got the calls that they did go through. That's right. I didn't put your email on here. So you do know. Actually, I'll take it back. Sorry. I just feel like I signed up for that. He thinks that I'm sitting there not doing anything, but I actually am signing up for events. No, that's the thing. You're just only relying on farmers and markets. Like you're not actually getting up and walking and talking to anybody. Like there's so many people that you can actually meet in the neighborhood in the town and you're just not doing that. Okay. What you said you were going to go like figure out the rotary club thing like months ago and you just yesterday told me what you figured out with that. Okay. So actually it wasn't a mystery to my at the beginning. I honestly thought this was because it was weird. It was like you're like, oh, I wanted a business to do so well and you're like, oh, he wants a dream job. I really want that. And you're like, I was like, well, what? Actually, it's the problem. You see, no, this is a complete disaster, this thing, this passion project, this business. You guys, this is like the fight. Yeah. It is because even before, like, up to this point, I think this is, I mean, that's insane. That entire, like, I zoned out there for a second, just how you guys are being. She was, I think the, all the products that she was buying, I thought it was overly expensive. I didn't know anything about like any of the coffee stuff, but I just looked into it for a little bit. I immediately found her cheaper coffee that she could be using without sacrificing the quality. I found her cheaper coffee cups to be using. So every, like from the very beginning, I've been finding cheaper ways to do what she's been doing. I think I've been more than helpful in everything and I haven't given her a hard time about that stuff. I got frustrated because it seems like I'm always finding the cheaper way to do something or to maximize the one. But why are you upset about helping me? I'm not upset about helping you. I'm doing it literally everything I can to help you. I just want you to take initiative, charge in your business. This isn't my business. I'm doing, you're doing like 10%, and I'm doing the other 90%. The 10% I'm doing say just so much money. Right, and thank you, but just because you're having to do 10%, you're bitching and whining about it. As if like, I shouldn't have to do this. I shouldn't. I, I shouldn't. I don't ask you to come help me with my job. That's something I took on. I don't want to be involved in the coffee car. No, I have no problem helping you. Yes, you do. You clearly do. That's what you literally just said. The 10% you don't want to do. No, I said the 10% because you minimize the 10% like it was nothing. The 10% saved us a whole lot of money. The 10% is putting you in front of more people. Well, that's for help on the coffee car. You need to help. You're not doing anything. I'm not doing anything. I'm doing the other 90% cool. The 90% the once a month. It's gonna, I've booked pretty much every single weekend from now until the end of August. Yeah. I agree. You did. You did do that. Because it was the only dates available. I would have been booked more previous to now if the dates were available. Okay, so why are you only relying on farmers markets to sell the stuff? I'm not. I'm also trying to venture out and do the weddings. I have a wedding booked. It's just the first of many that are going to come. Who's the wedding with? You're, I flee. Okay. So that wouldn't have been possible without me, right? Yeah, I'm not, I'm not minimizing the help that you do give. I'm saying the little help that you give you bitch and moan about it. So don't help. Okay. Then the coffee car's never going to succeed then. Oh, because I can't do it without you. You haven't been. I have been. You just went over how you're not making any money and then it would have been worse if I didn't find cheaper solutions on everything that you were already doing. Never so long you couldn't tell me how much their cups were. No, I did tell you how much they know eventually you couldn't tell me how much the supplies cost you because I didn't have it in front of me. I'm not memorizing every single little thing, but I have things written down. You asked me when we're in the middle of doing something, I can't pull it up out of my ass. If I don't know it, I want to give you an exact number. I just thought you would know the business on the back of your hand on terms of how much everything costs. Do you want me to memorize all these things? Yeah. No, I haven't written down. I'm organized. I have a rundown because I know I don't have the mental capacity to be memorizing every single little thing. Okay. You just organized just to say you're organized. You're not actually doing anything with the organization. Okay. Did that answer any questions? I mean, in general, honestly, guys, that's the disagreement right now. That's the fight. That's one of the fights. What's the other one? Oh, fuck. I don't know my emotional stuff. That doesn't matter. I guess it does. It's a fight. What's your emotional shit? You crazy. I've been depressed. So he doesn't get it because my brain decides not to make certain hormones. That's how depression works for some people. Maybe. It's not just that good. It's like something wrong with my brain right now. I get it, but it's so far. It's sounding like a self-diagnosis. No, it's been diagnosed. And I just I wonder. But he doesn't understand. What's his conversation? He does get it. He's like, these things happen and you should still be able to do everything. It literally is so hard to just get out of bed every morning. So she has an official diagnosis and you're just like dismissing it. So if you get diagnosed with something like 15 years ago, does it last forever? Yes, no, maybe. Yeah, maybe it's a diagnosis just because I don't go to therapy regularly because we can't afford it. Doesn't mean that the diagnosis disappears. Right. And so, yes, I guess I'm completely dismissing her depression state right now. But the way that I look at it is we're not in a spot where we can just be allowing it. Doing nothing. If you can identify your problem and you're not doing anything to make the problem better, then it just feels like you're an excuse by myself every single day to just get out of bed and do the things that I need to do to go to work. I have to do that too. You are not going through this. So what does that look like in the household, this conversation guys? How are you surviving? If he doesn't even believe in your own diagnosis, how do you make it from here? I don't know. I couldn't do that. I don't know. I mean, a real diagnosis is a real diagnosis, yes, I agree, there's lots of TikTok diagnoses, bullshit. Is that not incredibly dismissive? Borderline is just bad as a partner? Is it? Or be your question. I don't know for a second. Is that not just bad as a partner? Yeah. Then why are you with someone that doesn't even believe in your own mental health shit? That's real diagnosed. What was the diagnosed? Before I met you. Okay. I just didn't. What's your point? I just never saw anything or. I'm always talking to you about it. This is the deal. Anytime that work situations get really hard, coincidentally, something with her mental state always is correlated to that. Then why be with her? Yeah, why be with me? Why'd you come back to me? Because I thought things got better. You talked about how you had a better work ethic. I mean, I saw that you had a better work ethic whenever you were at that trucking gravel place whenever you got the accident. But I just thought that things would just keep on getting better. And so you taking wanting to do this coffee cart, puts you in that position, so you have to be able to. But you're coming back to me, was writing on life just continuing to get better instead of living normal life with somebody else as a partner where things go up and down. I understand things go up and down. Like I'm not delusional. Like not everything is always going up. But why is it every single time that you have a rough time at work? You always say, "Oh, I'm depressed." Well, you can't use it as a crutch as a fallback if you weaponize it in the relationship. No. It sounds like a little, if you have a tough time at work, you can't just be like, "Oh, my depression." I think that's really my. I think the real. No, it's triggers. So what triggered my depression is the fact that I'm a waitress and I have men all the freaking time hitting on me and I tried and he didn't want me to. He told me to stay. He didn't give a damn that I was getting hit on that work. You didn't care that she was uncomfortable getting hit on that work? No, we didn't.
He laughed it out, he made a joke out of it. But if she's uncomfortable, that's not good. Why would somebody be a waitress or a bartender then if they're thinking that they're not gonna hit on? Yeah, maybe. But if she's uncomfortable, wouldn't she support that? She had another chance to get a job at a church. The church is an hour and 15 minutes away. She said she would take it if she stayed at her mom's place. That's not even 10 minutes away from there. All of a sudden, she got the chance to take the job and she said, I'm not gonna stay at my mom's anymore if I do that. No, that's not what I said. I said, do you actually not care that I stay at my mom? Really, I'm what happened. No, he's just like making the words whatever he thought it was being said. But what was said is I just asked, are you gonna be comfortable with me staying at my mom most of the week and being away from home? And he said? No. No, there was no answer. It was a back and forth or like, but you said you would be okay with that. So time now? I just wanted to know whether you cared or not. Part of what was going on, we were actually at conference. So it's like our biggest track meet of the year. So she was sending this to me while I was doing that at the same time. So I could have misread her text message. But I know I replied back with, the deal was that you taking this job was that you were gonna stay at your mom's. Right? Yeah. Okay, so then how was that not an answer? Because I was asking you. I said, the deal for you taking this job is you staying at your mom's. Okay. How was that not an answer? That's not an answer. Well, my kind of little. I mean, it isn't the most clear. No, but it's like you can get insinuated kind of like the, as when he was trying to tell you to do better before? I just wanted to know whether he cared whether he would want me to come home like every other week or something. And then eventually I said that would you want me to come home every other week? And he said? And he was like, the deal was for you to stay there. So clearly you don't care that I'm not home. You don't care if you don't see me. I think dude just gets down to business. Yeah. Money's pretty important. Okay. Not really. You're doing D2 activities. Well, I said I'm also working on a way out of that too. So. Uh-huh. But. Okay. This affirm has $3,046.84 on it. Minimum is the payment of $602.23, essentially. And it's for bullshit. It's Amazon. Nike. Bullshit. Some grocery were affirming groceries. That's where we are guys. Come on. It was for the business. Oh, well, that's f***ing stupid. You're affirming shift for your business. That's not a good sign. Okay. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Bullshit. Just business shit. Bullshit. Bullshit. It's all stupid. What are you doing? I don't know. Are they all in paying for us or financed? Some of them have been paid for. But finance. Are they paid in for? Oh, finance. Finance. Finance. Finance. So we're talking like a 36% interest rate. Ladies and gentlemen, for her business, that makes no money. 36% interest rate. The S&B 500, one of the best indexes you can be a part of. Average is 10% a year. That's considered a good return. She's at a 36% loss. Is it really that much interest rate? I don't think it was. I thought it was like 24%. It was like 24%. Pora, pora, pora, pora. Pora. And I want to see your Amazon too. Okay. Dude, it is literally so f***ing stupid. It is the stupidest disagreement I've had on the show. A coffee cart. What the f***. We've had everything. We've had cheaters. We've had abusers. A coffee cart. That is causing this f***ing issue, guys. It's so f***ing stupid. So it should be easier? It's the dumbest thing for you guys to argue about. I don't understand. It's don't get into it or do. Just like, come on, it's a f***ing hobby. That could be a big business one day. Could be, but it's not. And you guys don't make money. So just shut the f*** up. Yes, 36% interest. There you go. Figure it out. You just don't look at shit and you do it. So the big business could be some day no, you're a big business for a firm. Okay? That's what you're a big business for. You don't even look at the f*** shit you're doing. There's 18 things in your cart. That I'm not going to buy. Then why is it in your cart? So you just. That I might want to buy. You didn't look at the interest? Did you want to buy at 36% interest? Look at the interest. I saw the total price that it gives. So if it was like $26 extra, like things like that. Yeah, spending so much shit on the business on here. Listen, you're putting so much money in this business on Amazon or firm. Here's your things from the Amazon cart. A lot of us do the business. A lot of it's not as well. But a lot of it is. And this is so much stupid business. Here's your fairy. Guys, her super special nobody else does it. I have not seen anybody else do that. Her special little sauce is a sauce from just Amazon that she gets that anyone else can get. But they don't. So she's not like home making and her. Or they don't. Or they don't. They don't. That's why it doesn't have like 505 story views. Thank you. Yes. People are getting her. Shut the f*** off. When you talk about. I haven't seen any other coffee shop do a cajita drink. Girl, you live in a town with two restaurants. No shit, you're not seeing people do that. I go other places. Yeah, so you're a coffee shop right down the street then and something that they have it. Yeah, they don't have it. They, a singular coffee shop that I pick up. Yeah. Like many. I've been doing a lot of research. Not many people do the cajita. It doesn't matter. It's just a flavor. Okay. What's it called? Cajita mamada? Cajita. Cajita mamada? Cajita mamada. Cajita. Cajita. Cajita. Cajita. Period. Oh, there it is. Let's see. Okay. In the area, there's mianic coffee, dame cafe, veracruz all natural. Which by the way, that's not even like a f***. That place is a chain. Brew at home. Yeah, no shut up. It's everywhere. Yeah. Okay. Girl, you're in Texas. That's everywhere. You are what Texas looks like. Not me. You. So, dope. You can't see. Did you research? We just did that in two seconds. Just because of a handful of them also do it. Oh my God. Okay. The goalposts are really being pushed now, aren't they? Okay. I do homemade syrups. Those are homemade. If you want to land a high paying job but don't have experience or a degree, then you need to learn about course careers. What is the easiest way to land the high paying career that you've been dreaming of? I've done financial audits for hundreds of people and what I've learned is that the single biggest factor someone can take to improve their life is getting a higher paying job. And that is why I've been such a huge promoter and even an investor in course careers. 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So you go to every dollar, that's Dave Ramsey, the personal finance guy, right? Well, they're going to force you to use it his way. That's not very personal finances. Rock and money, they got a lot of commercials, but they're owned by Rocket Mortgage, guess what they want to sell you in the end. Then there's the new guy on the block, Monarch. Hundreds and millions of dollars to private equity raising so far. But private equity doesn't have the best track record when it comes to private data. That's why I like dollar-wise, built by these people just like you, four people just like you. No private equity, no gimmicks, just the best budgeting app there is. Download and I'll start the free trial, dollarwise.com, link in the description below. Okay, that was bought on Amazon. No, that wasn't a syrup. Like my actual syrups are homemade. Oh my goodness. One main financial. What's going on with this guys? This is insane. This is $18,791. That's right. All the debt we had before we got married and we had actually paid a lot of it off. It doesn't make any sense. I don't understand doing that. Listen, we have personal loans with incredible rates and everything at KLABember.com because I like good debt, but it doesn't make sense for people like you to get into them. That's what I preach. I like credit cards, but not for you. Not credit card people. This makes no sense. I can't solidate a debt if you're not going to fix your behavior because then you're just going to end up with double the debt. Yeah. At the time, we were truck driving and I was still truck driving. So consolidating, we had gotten better at paying off debt. We had actually at that point. A little better when it happened. Fully fixed the behavior. Right. We didn't fully fix it, but we thought it was the right option to do at the time because we would just knock that out quickly. So why if we have this high insane minimum to payment, high balance, probably bad interest rate. Oh, really bad interest rate basically a credit card to 24%. If we have this, why the fuck are we opening businesses that don't make money and investing money in businesses and that investment by the way is all on 20, 34% interest, 36% interest rate debt. Why are we doing that? If we can't even pay off the previous consolidation, huh? Huh? Can someone answer that? We can't even pay off the previous consolidation. So we take out an investment in a business at 26, 36% interest, that doesn't make a penny, huh? Good question. I think it's the logical conclusion here. No, there isn't. Where is it? Tell me, please. I can't find it. I think, um, we were desperately trying to figure out what to do in order to make money. That's not the answer. Why? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. If you're desperately trying to figure it out, why is the answer take out a 36% interest rate debt on something that makes zero dollars? Please. Billing the business. Well, there is building a business which takes money of which you did a 36% interest debt. That is an option out there. is like another option called get a job. I
- Right. - You tried no one hired you? - Literally. - Okay, go to another time. You guys bought in a town that has your opportunity 'cause you guys are-- - I was applying to jobs in the towns that were like an hour away. - Okay. - Where do you like to move somewhere? You have to move to DFW or something. You have to move to places without productive dates. - I have applied for jobs in the DFW and nothing. - Okay, then you're a broken individual or your resume is completely broken and you just need help. - Probably. - Okay, everywhere. Two, two go has it. And there's civil goats all over Austin. Cafe Java has it. Plus a Colombian coffee here has it. Dome Cafe. - Well, good thing we don't sell it Austin, then, okay? - But that's the thing you're saying no one has it and that's just a little part. That's Austin is the-- Dude, even Fort Worth has higher population than Austin. - Yeah. - This is a basic thing. San Antonio, Houston, Dallas, Fort Worth, all larger population cities than Austin. - Right, but we don't live anywhere near those places. - No, it's an example 'cause you said no one else does it? Yes, even here, in a smaller city, everyone else does it. - Okay, well. - So up near you, yes, there are places that are not special. How much was the church willing to do? - In our area. - It was gonna be 21 an hour? - 21 an hour. - How did you get that job? - It was part of time. - Good, that's what you need. You need a part-time job on top of what you're doing instead of starting this business. - That was the goal and I was told not to take it. - By him? We just went over how I didn't decide not to take it. - He didn't say that. - We did go through that. So some of the (beep) doesn't make sense. You're literally, you're thinking that's making zero dollars. You took out a lot of debt for it. So it's like obviously getting a job would be better than that. - That was the only job in this entire time that I got. - Nope. - Actually, you've made negative money, so nope. - You made negative money. - I went to work as a delivery driver in a pizza place because there was nobody else-- - Perfect, perfect. That's a job, do that. - Yeah, I did that and now I'm getting more money than I was doing that. - No, you'd be doing that in adjacent to what you're doing now. - No coffee shop. Again, her choice was, take out 36% interest rate debt on something that doesn't make any money. Deliver pizza. Deliver pizza makes money. I would deliver pizza. - Fairly. - Barely is still more money than debt. I don't understand how you do not understand that. - I don't understand how you don't see that. I'm still working a full-time job like I was. - But instead of the closet-- - I know, I'm doing the-- - I'm saying you keep the full-time job here and instead of getting in the coffee cart, you get the part-time job. It's not against your full-time job. How many hours a week you're working? Not the coffee. - It varies, it varies. It's lately, it's been, I do double ships most of the time. Five, six days a week. - How much? - What is that, like 50, let's say 50, 60, 50 to 60 hours a week. - Dude, then you're 50 to 60 hours a week? - No, I don't think that's 'cause you're only working. You're not even working the full days. - You're gonna make it 60? - I am working full days. I'm working, two of them are like full days and then the rest of the day-- - You're making $8 an hour? - It's, I work on tips, I work on tips. - On average, you're making $8 an hour, then you need to, you guys, you have to move somewhere. There is just a certain, there is a reality and it's capitalism, it's socialism too, 'cause it's still connected with, it doesn't matter. That town's not entitled to have it, you're not entitled to have that town. You need to move some more opportunities, that's the reality. - No. - No, that's it. - Okay, but that means he leaves. - Wait, wait, wait, wait. He makes no money, I don't give a-- He'll go find literally a high school job in any large metro that it will pay him double. And taxes? - That's fine, once he gets to the point where he has a certification-- - Right, but that's okay. He's in a D2 bolsa, he can go-- - But that's not like my issue, my issue is I just feel like I can't rely on you to do what you need to do in order to take care of your side of being a grown-up. - I have been taking care of my side bills, have been getting paid. - You just, we just went over how much the in front-- - There you go, by the way. - Can't bring, just put it on-- - Magnet, you know how magnets work? - It's not very sticky, I just didn't think things were falling apart in here. - 'Cause it's a magnet, it's not sticky. - We don't know that it's a magnet, and it's not sticking. - Magnets are not sticky, they're magnets. - I don't know, it's a magnet. - So, we just went over how you took out all of that money on the firm for your business. So I think that shows that I can't rely on you on terms of how the money is being spent. I trusted that you had it under control or knew what you were doing with that. I guess, I mean, I should have asked more questions, whenever you said that you didn't have much more money left in a firm or you had so much in a firm, but that's my fault for not asking. But I didn't think that over $3,000 was an infirm, not to mention the interest rate that was on top of that. - I showed you everything I've done. - I asked you multiple times how much money was being spent. And I showed you, I literally have shown you. - Sapphire preferred, what is this, what's going on? - The leftover from that is pretty much what's left over from our wedding. - Put a wedding on. Guys, you don't do anything else, not debt. It still takes six years to pay off if you do a minimum to payment. So, you do a little more than that, which I don't even know if that's the right strategy when we have other things to pay off that are worse, i.e. a firm, higher interest rate, and lower balances. It makes sense to pay them off in both the avalanche and snowball method, so this makes no sense. - But interest is accruing at $34 and 56 cents. You owe $1,540 and $9 cents at a $49 minimum to the payment. - You've had, I believe, two late fees this year, so far. - Yeah, for f*ck of a lie. - What the f*ck is wrong with you guys? Pathetic. - That's why I started paying the bills 'cause he would have late fees a lot. - Okay, then you're not reliable either. - Yeah, at least I pay the things I need to be paid on time. - You are made for each other, neither of you are reliable in what you do. - Just two late payments, isn't it? - Yes, that's extra money that you think I owe. - I understand it was a mess up, but just say someone's reliable for just messing up once or twice. - But it's a lot more than twice. - Twice by the time of the fourth month of this year, which is when the statement came in, fifth month. So it's like, by continuing that average, you would be at like four or five by the end of the year. - Right, and so that's. - Except not because you took it over because of your pathetic. - Yeah, I just knew that. - You can't manage it. You can't even coach your own life. - I was trying to rely on her to help me out with that. - Which I do, I make sure that bills are paid on time. - Okay, Freedom Flex. Why are we purchasing on a card that we're only making a minimum of the payment that is accrued, it's just that we cannot pay off? - I think no one's mind in its groceries that I purchase on that card, I think. - Groceries? - Groceries? - 14 hours of groceries? - That's how little groceries were by at a time. - That you weren't allowed to get groceries. - Probably when he was gone. - I mean, it's not a straight rule. - It sounded like it. It sounded like there was an extreme like a trust. Okay, groceries aren't a thing you can't get, but why are you getting them on a card that you can't pay off that is accruing interest? That makes no sense. Why make it even get worse? Why didn't you have any money? Where's the money going? What does it make any sense? - Bills. - Bills. It might have been just, no, no, no. - Where are bills? - Okay. - Four minimums? - Or like $250 going out to eat, unknown shopping, and another $250 going to sell in these bullshitt, at least $100. So, potential bullshitt minimum $600. How can you not have any money? There you go. Spend it on bullshitt with a **** talking about. Although large purchases, $745, I don't even know what that is. They could be bullshitt, it could be not. It could be half, who knows? But at least $600 on bullshitt. No shit, you didn't have any money. - Yeah. - That's what happens if you spend money on bullshitt. $1,182 for the one cents. Higher than you previous month. - Because, you spent. - Yeah. - Doesn't matter if it's for groceries, you chose to put it on there and it's a crew in interest. It can be hundreds by year end. Why don't you guys spend on that wedding that you had to put on the card? - Oh, who was it? - Oh, you guys have credit one, of course you do. - That was my first-- - 15. - Credit. - 15,000? Dude, you guys can afford that to save your lives. - Well, at the time we were-- - Yeah, at the time we were-- - Oh, what if it's not even that crazy? You guys just can afford shit. - At the time, we were-- - Truck driving. - So, it wasn't an issue. - Yeah, but why are you putting it on that then? We're still paying today. - Because when we got those credit cards, they had that special where we get like 5%, so we ended up getting like a thousand and something on those cards. - Yeah, but you did that then you pay off the credit card. That's why you guys aren't credit cards. - That's the job stuff, like didn't happen, then it would have been paid off for and it would have been an issue. - Yeah, that was a plan. - We were really good. - The speeding tickets were relentlessly and run over living things. Yeah, who would have thought? Okay, credit one, one of the worst credit cards ever, $400, $7.98, $30,000, the payment interest fees, it's all-- - Yeah, credit one's the worst. - Yeah, it was just my first credit one. - It was my first credit number. - That was your first one! Living in the Mexican dream, aren't you? Okay, capital one. - Yes. - Whose? - Mine. - Okay, I only make it in the minimum. - Right. - Right. - I also use that for groceries. - Why on an interest or crewing card? 'Cause you don't have any money, 'cause we spend it all on bullshit. $310, 98 cents, $25 minimum monthly payments. - Very low. - An interest or crewing? - Oh shit. 28.99% interest of death. M-N-M-F. (laughing) N-F-M, what is it? - At furniture store? - Why, the, oh, you guys are just, you're everything. - That's, and show us premium. You got insurance in your, seven-year payment plan furniture. (laughing) You guys are-- - I got that when we were separated and I was making $1 a week. - Go to Facebook. So you should go to Facebook Marketplace regardless. - But I-- - Guys, you're arguing for, I had money, so I could get it. Yet, you still put it on a credit card. That makes no sense. - I paid half of it up front of the purchase I made. I didn't want to keep sleeping on the same bed. - Good. - That we were sharing. - $56? - $56? - I know you wouldn't really need to or want to,
But when I moved down to Austin, after I was sleeping on an air mattress for 69 months, while I was paying off debts, then I went and got like a $400 mattress. It's not the greatest thing in the world, but that's what I could afford. Do what you can afford, not what you can't. - Could afford it. - No, 'cause you put it on a credit card. - No, 'cause you put it on a credit card, which is like you're waiting. Shut the fuck up. - $56 a month, minimum to payment, insurance premium, I don't want $1,254 in 19 cents owed. - That is deferred interest accruing. Oh, you're getting interest accruing on it. Oh, because it's deferred and it will hit, oh, in like two months. (laughs) Hundreds will be added to that balance. You guys are (beep) and you didn't even know that, did you? - No. - Of course not. Okay, you're anited card. What's going on with this? Oh, we're spending on a card that we can't pay off. - Is that for Garthalreath? - No. - Oh, great. Oh, that basically maxed out of 467, 69, with the minimum monthly payment of 40, and a $500 limit. What is it? - No. - A spectrum. We put our utilities on a card that we can't pay off that is accruing, inches, why pay penalties on your, essentially, interest on your utilities, why do that? Stupid. - I thought we were paying that off. Like I thought that the money for the utilities was going on there and then we were just turning around paying that. The $40 minimum payment when your utility payment is $65, this is going up. - Oh, that's where the internet is. - And interest accrues on that. And then also this card must have a annual fee of like 2.19, or you've had late fees or buy? - I got it canceled. I was supposed to get canceled. - Nope. - We go into the bank to get it canceled and. - Nope. You guys are so irresponsible. You don't follow anything that's happening. It's okay, care cry, who's this? - Mine, and it should be zero percent interest. - Well, the so is your furniture thing, but there's deferred interest. So let's see what happens with this. $3,055, what happened? - That was, I had gotten in business line years ago. - Oh my gosh, years ago, so paying for years ago. Four years to pay off. You've paid interest of $141,000. - Yeah, but so there was like two months once I lost my job that I couldn't pay and I made a deal with them, they closed it down and they said it'll be zero percent interest. - Hopefully that doesn't happen again. - We have another credit one, who? - Mine. - Guys, this debt is extensive. It's both the all's fault. Don't try to blame each other like you did in the beginning year, both. $309.54 with a minimum of the payment of our past two, our past two, three months. - That one, they had given me a-- - It's a $30 normal minimum of the payment, you owe $99 because you're stupid. - So we did a thing where the credit protection, the credit protection, so they paid for the minimums for the past six months and it was supposed to keep going and it didn't keep going and they didn't tell me that it didn't keep going. - Why should they have to tell you? Log in, manage your finances, use the online. - No, I did, I called them and I said, "Hey, can we get, I need, I continue need the help." - The ring notes behind. - And they said yes, that it was gonna continue to happen and it didn't. - Who has $52,142,000 stood in loans? Why are you only out of $56 a month? That's just gonna accrue and just forever. - You're never gonna pay that off. - Yeah, I know. - Probably income based 'cause you have no income 'cause you're D2. - Yeah, that's exactly, it's on income based. And so I was making a chunk, a dense insuit into-- - We'll leave it at what school do you work at? - Never heard of that. - So part of the reason why it's so much is that I-- - Why would they go D1? It's a money suck. Kids are paying more for their college so they can be D1 and fail at everything, it makes no sense. It's so stupid. So what degree did you get? - Communications and then a minor in kinesiology? - Sure, why not? - $52,149,69.00, then a monthly payment, of course. Only more interest accrues, almost. You are more interest accrues in 10 days on this loan than you make on a minimum payment. Your minimum is $56.20 in income based, stupid. - That's, of course, pathetic. - Yeah, you literally just went D1, that's crazy. The Southland conference, I've never heard that in my life. Are they the worst conference in D1? They have to be. - No, there's lots. There's lots of conferences in D1. - Are they the worst conference in D1? - No, I don't think so. I mean, there's lots on D. - It has to be. - Oh, there's plenty of other worst ones. - Just 'cause you-- - Aren't there like 10 conferences? - No, there's lots of things in major. - I'm just thinking about the sports that matter. - Sure, like I mean-- - Football, hockey, baseball, basketball, maybe soccer. - Soccer. - So of the ones that matter, they're just like, football has power five, really power four now, really power two actually. And then the group of five, which the Southland does not exist. - Right, so I mean, in terms of those, then yes, they're way worse than all of those. - Oh, shit, that's brutal. 'Cause like, I went to a group of high school and they were good. - Yeah. - Great and hockey. These in a soccer really bad football. But you're telling me you're worse than them? - Good luck. Why the fuck kids having to pay more for that shit? That's pathetic. Who has the Chase Checking Account? - Mine. - Dude, you're literally negative $317. You started negative 15. - Devorses, man. This is the worst thing ever. What checkin' account has ever ended with negative $317 on this show? That's crazy. - Does that mine? Where's that yours? - No, not mine. - Guys, this is insane. Bullshit, something closet. Ace hardware, re-Zellin' out money. This is-- - Oh, and that's mine then. - Recruiting Netflix, Zell, Zell, Zell, Elf, that's you. You have Netflix. - Applepin. - Oh, you're the-- - Divorce her. Appleville, Home Depot, Ross stores Marshalls, Bullshit. - Affirm the firm, the firm, the firm, the firm, the firm. - That's mine. - Home Depot, Restaurant, Feng Cha, Amazon Affirm, the firm. Bullshit, stupid, a firm, Recruiting, Apple Bull. Starting negative, ending more negative, Alp. - Some bullshit. You overdraft it like 30 times, this is insane. Your chase, not even much better, started with six bucks, ended with 55. Or actually, nope, that was her savings. Went from six bucks to 55, even though she's overdrafting and losing all benefit. Your check in account ended with $23, not much better. Amazon, Amazon. - That's, you know, some of the payments, like what the charge is. So like-- - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why is it insane? - Why is it insane? (humming) Why is it exactly seven weeks ago, is there a $40 payment to divorce service? - Well, because it was on a monthly payment plan. - Oh, that's your previous. - Oh, ho, ho, ho. - Peacock, marketplace, cable, AMC, Bullshit, Sonic Drive-In, Midnight Craving. At least he's not going negative, but you're still spending all your money on Bullshit. Stopping in, getting some Bullshit. Problem is some energy drinks, get gamers up, instead of tastes better, I promise. Amazon, Affirm, Zell, so stupid, dude. What, oh, a car? - Yeah, it's a car. - What is it? - It's a GMC terrain, 2016. - 15% interest rate? - No. - Yes? - No, that's the interest. - Let's see, yeah, no interest. - So this is like to a family? - A friend, yeah. - Great. $5,950, minimum payment, you sometimes do $250, $300, $300, $300? - Okay. - Fucking stupid. - Good death. Collections, $30,000? - Yeah. - A car? - A car, yeah. - You got repo, two repos, of course you guys did. You're made for each other, city, yeah. So 30,000 repos, same. - That's just one. - What's your other repo? - Both of them are under him. - 5,9, it's open. - Yeah, both of them are under him, what was your-- - Oh, here's the mortgage. Add a 7.3% interest rate. She's, yeah, I would sell this. You'd get a low rate anyway. And maybe not with your guys, credit. $172,657, $34, what's the house worth? - We bought it for $179. - Monthly payment, $1751, FHA, fuck. All right, guys. - So even if we wanted to sell it, we can't until next year 'cause we got to wait three years, otherwise we pay the minimum-- - You guys do that live. - Palm yourselves with a home purchase. Americans of sessions, hurt them constantly. It's so stupid, makes no sense. You guys are financial morons. I'm so done. I'm so, so income. No, all your side job is in $4,100. All right, let's get these debts. Obviously, we know the mortgage, that is 1,751, collection's nothing. Could see for that, should see for that. You know, though, garnish your wages, potentially. I'll get a court order. Seeing more and more of that on the Caleb Hammer show, link below, people are loving that. We thought that they're like insurance.
or whatever, took care of that when cars get reposed. And it just like shits on the credit and disappears. - No, as far as I know, I don't know what you're talking about. Is there something I'm missing here? Something different happened that I wasn't aware of? - No, my thought was we can barely afford it as is. Like we could, so we had to do something to get rid of it. And I'm gonna follow up with them to see what I need to do to like, do like, blow monthly payments. - Because, what's your gas electric utilities everything combined? - 300, 300, 300 to 400? - 300, yeah, 350. - Okay, phone bill. - Three, seven, five. - It's up wrong with you guys. Once we've had our phones switched to helium, if team mobile's getting in our area, it follows that same kind of server. - But that's what your family and everything, right? - Yeah. - Well, do they pay you? - Oh my goodness, call. - When I can't pay my phone. - Yeah, it's a broom, broom, broom, drive, drive, how much? - It ends up being about six a week. No, not even, do 50 a week. 'Cause we don't drive that much. - 250? - 50 a week. - Yeah, 50 a week. - Oh, okay, 200 bucks, car insurance. 163? Guys, your house is literally worth one. Yeah, what you bought? Like you would have to red check to sell your house. Even after the three-year thing. Okay, necessary food, 600 bucks. Use the mail plan, use the mail prep. That's based on HTTP pricing. It's perfectly fine. Walmart, all that good stuff, 4xTP fine. Anything else needed to survive. Total paper toothbrush. Changes everything a month with the categories for. But it is $200. Medical health care, their copay is monthly basis. - Oh, yeah, so it goes through his-- - What's the copay is on a monthly basis? - 20. - Well, Jim, is there a Jim? - No. - Okay, subscriptions, I'll try to give 40 bucks. You have any pets? - Yes, two. - What? Two-market boosh. - $100 pet insurance, how much for pet food? - 50 a month. - Okay, anything else that needs to be in this budget that I have not taken an account for? If you guys even break even, I will be so-- - I'm surprised, but if you do-- These are some big numbers. Ooh, this is a big numbers. - We've considered bankruptcy. - Well, that literally might be the only option. - Yeah, you guys earned a water by 1,400 a month, 1,300. - No, not bankruptcy, unless you can follow your budget and actually prove you changed your behavior for at least a quarter, for three months. If not, you'll end up back here on the show again. In two years, we've seen it before from other bankruptcy people. - Oh, yeah. - We've seen it before, you're not special. So you have to change your behavior, or some consolidations. Those work too, but you gotta change your behavior first. Or better yet, listen, even just renting somewhere cheap and a place with opportunities, while you pay you on this mortgage for a year, then cut your loss, learn the lesson, and literally just go make as a household 8,000 hours a month 'cause you two easily can, and you'll be fine. You'll be able to pay off the stat a few years, and then shut the fuck up and don't make these mistakes. Again, you guys live in the literal middle and nowhere. Tyler's the closest large town, but I have your address pulled up, and you're literally nowhere. Like you have to move to a place with opportunity. It's just the reality of the situation. This is pathetic. That's it, guys. That's it. Hammer Financial Score. Yes, this is, you guys are. - Spending it in a budget, you're overspending zero out 10. There's collections, zero out 10. I'm virtually fine, there's nothing, zero out 10. Tyrant, I didn't see anything zero out 10. Real estate, they see you have something, but it's a break even here, you have no equity position, you would have to, at least you're in the market. That's what matters, but it's still not great. Three out of 10. That's the only thing that's gonna give you anything, and not be a zero. Hammer Financial Score rounded up just barely one out of 10. Get yours at Calebhammer.com. Join us for the post show. There's some interesting things we're gonna talk about. Less than 120,000 active members for reason. Three premium shows every single day, six days a week it is the best there is. Click join to join here on YouTube, or you can go on the hammer, or lead app or hammer lead.com, wherever you wanna be, same membership in all places. Love you, I see you in the post show. Show me a resume. I thought it was a great resume, everybody I showed you. Well, that's fine boy, you're not getting the job. She's a, she's a server, she has the two page resume. No, but this is-- How do you think it's a great resume? I just started off this, I haven't been a server before. Shut the fuck up, you should have a one page resume. Okay. You're not a C-suite. That's one of the most f*cked hilarious resumes ever. That was almost worse than Brent's. I just launched the brand new hammer, lead app available on every major platform. So you can watch every show anywhere you want. You'll get three exclusive dedicated shows every single day Monday through Saturday. Refer a friend after you sign up and you get an additional 30 days of Hammer Elite access for free. Download the Hammer Elite app by using the link in the description or pinned comment down below. This is the best membership you'll ever join, and that's a promise.
Podcast Summary
Key Points:
April, 29, and Sebastian, 31, from Tyler, Texas, are married with a history of near-divorce, earning a combined income of about $4,100 a month.
April works as a server making ~$500/week and runs a fledgling coffee cart business, financed with high-interest debt (e.g., Affirm at ~24-36%), which has yet to turn a profit.
Sebastian coaches college track and field for low pay (~$2,100/month), but the couple struggles with communication, control, and finances, leading to constant conflict.
Their marriage deteriorated last year, leading to a 5-6 month separation and near-finalized divorce, which they reconciled but unresolved issues persist.
They have significant debt (~$18,791 in one personal loan) and poor spending habits, including financing business supplies and personal items.
Sebastian dismisses April's diagnosed depression, while she feels unsupported and criticized; both accuse each other of being controlling and not contributing enough.
The couple's coffee cart venture, which Sebastian helps with, is a major source of tension, with disagreements over effort, promotion, and financial management.
Sebastian's close texting and video calls with female athletes raise concerns, though he claims it's for coaching and recruiting.
The host recommends career changes (e.g., Course Careers) and better budgeting, criticizing their financial decisions and relationship dynamics.
Summary:
April and Sebastian, a young married couple from Tyler, Texas, appear on Financial Audit to address their severe financial and marital problems. They earn roughly $4,100 a month combined—April as a server making about $500 a week and Sebastian as a low-paid college track coach. Their finances are in disarray, with significant debt, including an $18,791 personal loan and high-interest Affirm purchases for April's coffee cart business, which has operated for four months without profit.
The couple's relationship is strained, having gone through a 5-6 month separation and near-divorce last year, which they reconciled but haven't resolved underlying issues. They constantly argue over money, control, and effort: Sebastian criticizes April for not promoting her business enough, while April feels he dismisses her diagnosed depression and doesn't provide emotional support. Sebastian also manages finances, leading to accusations of control, while April's spending habits, like financing supplies, worsen their debt.
The host highlights their poor financial decisions, including using high-interest loans for a hobby-like business, and suggests they need better jobs and budgeting. Additionally, Sebastian's frequent texting and video calls with female athletes raise suspicions, though he attributes them to coaching duties. The episode concludes with the host urging them to address their communication, career paths, and financial habits to avoid another divorce.
FAQs
Financial Audit is a show where couples or individuals have their finances reviewed and discussed, often revealing spending habits, debt, and relationship dynamics around money.
April reported earning about $500 a week as a server at a new Mexican restaurant, though her husband Sebastian thought she made more.
Sebastian earned about $2,100 a month after taxes as a college track and field coach, which he described as a volunteer or upgraded volunteer position.
April was starting a coffee cart business with unique flavors like 'I hit the crunch' (a burnt caramel with goat's milk) and pistachio, though it had been operating for four months without making a profit.
The couple separated for five to six months last year and were one court date away from finalizing a divorce, but reconciled when April signed the papers.
April used Affirm to finance business-related purchases, accumulating about $3,046.84 with a 24-36% interest rate, which the host criticized as a poor financial decision for a business that wasn't making money.
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