I Fear We're Not Reacting Enough | Reading Reddit Stories

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have more space this couch is a little bit bigger i can just roll around and just start just going crazy washing um the poof went you cannot throw that poof at me well okay well challenge accepted yeah okay well i have a pillow now oh cool good luck good luck you're gonna like fend it off if i throw poof you'll retreat i will walk with pillow throw pillow okay this is stay tuned this is our first time on the reddit set how is this chair for you it's nice it's comfortable hell yeah i feel like it's the martin scorsese thing now where i'm like like i'm fully locked in yeah yeah yeah nice nice here nice yeah i'm excited for the stories today i feel like the reactions like it can be either so bad that i can't even move and i am and i go inside my body yeah or where i need to frolic out of anger or just throughout the story just being like what huh i know huh throughout he said what there you can use that at any point in the video yeah let's just like back order a few reactions up at the top okay let's do it yeah he said what wait can i hear that again mm-hmm okay um for real shane why would you say that horrible word okay i got i got one okay uh please please have an update okay these are good you're ready yeah and if you put those only at the beginning it'll be really embarrassing we'll we'll switch those yeah yeah no they got our back all right our first story comes from am i overreacting posted in january of this year 2026 am i overreacting if i end my relationship because my boyfriend kisses and tells me he loves me before leaving for work in the morning wait i'm not overreacting i'm not overreacting i'm not i was i was i thought that sentence was going different places he said what and then it ended up being super sweet yeah let's get that one more time am i overreacting if i end my relationship because my boyfriend kisses and tells me he loves me before leaving for work in the morning you want to end it because of that all right i hate that my boyfriend loves me yeah no he's a monster all right my boyfriend who's 39 and i a 30 year old woman have different work schedules most of them are work schedules and most of them are work schedules and most of them are work schedules yeah no he's a monster all right my boyfriend who's 39 and i a 30 year old woman have different work schedules most of them are work schedules days of the week boyfriend has to be out of the house by 7 00 am as a grad student i am often up late working but try to sleep in so i still get at least eight hours of sleep fortunately my partner and i have separate bedrooms so in theory this should be perfectly manageable but despite repeatedly asking him not to he always comes into my room to kiss me and tell me he loves me before he leaves which wakes me up every time i have an aura ring so i am also able to see that this often takes place when i am in deep sleep which in addition to the fact that i have a lot of attention to lost sleep hours leaves me incredibly groggy throughout the day i know it's sweet but i've suggested if he wants to be cute to please leave a note or a nice text i can wake up to i remind him not to wake me up in the morning the night before and will even tape notes to my door that say please don't wake me up and he still does anyway otherwise our relationship is great so maybe it's the sleep deprivation talking but i'm really feeling at my wits end with this please help me find some clarity on what to do reddit oh gosh okay okay yeah yeah yeah this is tough interesting yeah yeah or it's not tough but it's an it's an interesting scenario it is yeah yeah at first i was like really mad at her and i was like no he's being sweet and that's adorable but then it's kind of like you think about it further and it is kind of like okay she's kind of being as clear as possible yeah with the notes with the notes it's like please don't wake me up then it feels a little like okay yeah king just leave a cutie note right i wish she had said like what his responses were to to what she's i know it's just like but yeah if he's lying to her okay he's like for sure like i want to know that yeah yeah yeah i will not kiss you accept it yeah i wonder why i want like do you think he's trying like after she's like please don't kiss me in the morning he's like for sure and then he's like tries to be extra sneaky like he's going through music yeah because like my mind goes to imagine like some people it's like um existential or like where it's like i want to see my person and say i love you and kiss you before i leave what if it's i never get to do that again like some people it's that deep yeah um but then also it's like she's asking for the text she's asking for something she's yeah i also think people some people can fall asleep faster i'm someone that i can be woken up and i'll just be like okay no me yeah yeah exactly truly i want the goodbyes because then i'm about to sorry sayonara i can pass right back exactly and then i'll be like did you say goodbye to me yeah oh exactly and they were like yeah and we talked you made lunch if it became you made lunch yeah yeah if it became a regular schedule thing it probably would would be something that i don't consciously wake up for yeah my body would start being like okay you're heading out see you later the eyes just at 50 you're heading out sick yeah all right i'll see you later that's exactly how it goes it's so interesting with the aura ring too because i know my because i've been trying to track my stress and stuff too when your alarm goes off i wake up and i go back to sleep and my heart rate gets actually to the lowest it is the entire night i don't know if it's like oh he's just getting up i have some time and i sleep like the best i've ever slept in that i'm scouting the place i feel i don't know my body feels extra safe i wake up and grab my spear i'm like okay don't worry i've got watch yeah heart rate lowered so he wakes her up at seven yeah he's leaving around seven yeah he he's has to be out of the house by 7 a.m and she's a grad student she's often up late working totally so she's on an opposite schedule than him yeah so not fully but it just sounds like yeah to a degree she's probably sleeping until nine ten damn i mean it depends on how late she's staying up deep sleep is i don't know i don't know i'm not a sleep scientist totally but she's mad about being woken up at seven which makes sense because sleep you know it's precious for a lot of people it's it's of course needed for all of us so it makes sense that it is like you're you're disrupting something that is so vital to this person being able to actually follow through and be themselves throughout all day and clearly she's the type that she likes her space and her time they have separate rooms yes that's i mean it's super way more common now but it says a lot it shows like you know setting boundaries it doesn't matter if the act is different it doesn't matter if the act is different is a very sweet act yeah someone's saying hey please don't do that kind of doesn't matter how sweet it is and how sweet the intentions are totally the sweetest thing is to listen to them yeah i mean a note come on say goodbye when you go to sleep or say like yeah wake his ass up i'm going to bed now yeah you know i'm going to bed now i'll see you in the morning it could be a normal thing i think for people to be like or go to bed like i'll be up i'll be gone by the time you wake up like so as you're going to bed it's just like all right well good luck tomorrow whatever yeah i think that's okay last thing i'll say before we get into comments is because i like i prefer a goodbye and things like i i i'm i am the type that when my partner is already asleep when i'm getting into bed i'm like oh i'm saying good night to myself or in the morning when you leave earlier than me you say goodbye i'm like i don't care what little cost it is to me i feel sad when i don't see them i agree i agree yeah because i don't want to wake up why are you guys i'm laughing because like sometimes i'll i'll go up to bed and i'll start reading and then i'll like fall asleep while i'm reading and then i'll but then i'll wake up to be like oh you're already asleep and then i'm like well no and i'll be like oh i know but i don't care because i fall right back asleep exactly exactly no i do the same thing like if i'm getting into bed like late i will be like oh you're asleep oh you're asleep oh you're asleep oh and these are the reactions you guys come here for totally totally at 4 a.m if i'm not in the right sleep position my cat will get up and come right up to my face i'll just go and then i have to like lay in a sort of right way and he's like all right sick and then he curls in here totally totally yeah yeah i'm used to it yeah so she's wrong so anyway she sucks uh no um he needs to just listen to her - Yes. - The verdict is not overreacting. comments. Not overreacting, please help me find some clarity on what to do, Reddit. And then they put a picture of someone opening a door with the bucket of water on the door sill. The bucket prank. Someone said, not overreacting, if you really just won't stop, but you don't want to end the relationship, I would start waking him up to say goodnight, and you love him when you go to bed, so he can see the effects of his actions. Less drastic, I'm also a big fan of a rubber door stopper to keep him out. Opie said, solid ideas. Goddamn. Thank you. Okay, yeah, that's crazy. Like, the, like, anti-breaking, how about men can just stop? Just stop, yeah. Hey, how about we listen to each other? It's just wild, too, because it's like, it's not like it's uncontrollable, he's choosing to walk into this door, walk into this room and wake her up after being asked not to. It's just a clear boundary. The fact that she has her own, she wants her own space and that they have their own bedrooms, just like, when people are able to do that, that's awesome. But clearly, like, she's not, like, it's pointless. She's getting woken up. It's so interesting. This is Becca and Tanya from Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Rad. Becca, can I ask you a question? How do I convince myself I need something before I buy it? Oh, so we're doing that today. Well, I'll be shopping online and suddenly I'm like, well, technically this counts as self-care. You're definitely not alone there. That's why Klarna stands out. It's about smarter tools that help you feel more confident with your money. Klarna brings payments, cashback, and money management together in one place with flexible ways to pay. It helps you make smarter money moves without the stress. That's the goal, right? Having tools that make your money work with you. Download the Klarna app today or visit Klarna.com to learn more. California resident loans made or arranged pursuant to a California finance law license. NMLS number 1353190. Klarna balance account required to be eligible for cashback points. Limitations, terms, and conditions apply. Update. Oh, this is Becca and Tanya from scrubbing in with Becca Tilly and Tanya Rad. NMLS number 1353190. Oh! Yeah! She never woke up. And she went to sleep forever! And she's super happy about it. She's thriving. Some added context to paint a better picture here, but the TLDR, when my boyfriend came home for lunch, we talked it out. He had kept the lights off to be minimally disruptive when making his morning coffee and didn't see the sign on the door. He forgot I mentioned I would be up late, but did kind of remember me asking him not to wake me up. But it is our anniversary, and for him, it's about the worry that if something happened to either one of us, and that not being the last thing he did. He's a complete sweetheart. Okay, I know. Crying emoji. Plus, plus, plus points for all the commenters that think I'm an absolute monster. Oh. Okay. I'm curious. Okay, so for this one night, he did it because it's their anniversary, but she's saying that this happens all the time. Right. Maybe she's just started to stop him, and maybe it was like the note was just so big for her, where she's like, you did, like, I put a note, and you're ignoring that? Like, that feels really big and intentional, and I have to say, like, sometimes when, sometimes you can be really in the moment with, like, what happened, like, with the boundary being crossed and, like, really stewing over it, because it sounds, because, yeah, it sounded like in the Reddit post, like, this is something that's been going on for weeks, but it honestly sounds like she only put the, has started to put the boundary recently. I'm very much filling the gaps. The timeline is, I don't know the timeline here, but Yeah. Anyways, she goes on to say he promised he would take it more seriously moving forward, and I take him at his word for all of it. A big thank you to all of the sincere responses with suggestions, because from all of that came a great solution. He is a wonderful illustrator, so I'm going to mount a dry erase board on the back of my door for him to easily leave me messages. But after more thought, too, I'm going to tell him later he can come in and kiss me goodbye, and just ask him to do it somewhere less sensitive, like the top of my head, and not whisper directly in my ear. Oh, yeah, that could be scary. I'm going to work! Is he also. He's kissing her goodbye. Is he kissing her on. If he's kissing her goodbye, was he kissing her on the lips while she's asleep? Oh, sleeping music! Oh, great! I hate that. Yeah, come on. Shutting the jaw to make lips together. Me, me, me, me, me, me, me. I'm good, neither. Do you love me? I love you so much! She's like, babe, we talked about this. I love you so much! That's horrible! Did you stay up all night? Thank you so much! Alright, the responses to this post have given me a lot of perspective, as I have also many times found myself scrolling, am I overreacting, and am I the asshole post, thinking, may this love never find me. All of the comments, of which I've only been able to read a fraction, both telling me I should ditch him, and those saying he should ditch or cheat on me, have helped me appreciate how little of a window into a person's relationship these posts really give. Honestly, the relationship I have is truly wonderful. We have fun together every day, work together as a team, and I am so glad this love found me. It's weird how many of y'all took issue with the separate rooms thing. We still sleep over and hang out in each other's rooms all the time, but it's awesome to not be completely beholden to the other person's sleep schedule or compromised closet space. I consider it a privilege, lol. Wild. Yeah. Whoa. I think that's valuable stuff said at the end there. I mean, I think with most am I the asshole and am I overreacting stories, we get the like weirdest single aspect of a relationship. Yes. And we judge their entire relationship off of that, whereas everything contains multitudes. It's also like these comments were overreacting a little bit. The comments were the overreacting. And let's not forget, a lot of times on these comments could be a 12-year-old. We don't know. In fact, it definitely is. All Redditors are 12. Right. Anyways. Wow. It's a good start. Yeah, yeah. I think that's great. I think I think we solved that. I think we solved that, too. I think we fixed it. Yeah, we fixed it. Really tough dilemma there. Yeah. Yeah. You're welcome. All right. Would you guys be separate bedroom people if you had the choice? I don't think so. I mean, I'm definitely separate closet people because I'm like, we need room. Yeah. But I don't think so. Again, mostly because I'm like Shane, where I'm like, I will I can sleep through, I was about to say the dust bowl. Hello? I don't know why that came in. I will sleep through the dust bowl. I would have slept through the Great Depression, I think. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'd have been like, man, this sucks. I'm gonna go to bed. Guys, sound off in the comments if you slept through COVID or But I think I would. I really, I just I think I'm such a deep sleeper. I'm a deep sleeper, but I'm also just like able to be woken up and then go back to bed. So I think that is a lot of the times the reason. Totally. But also, yeah, people just wanting generally some like boundary or some space. For me, it always is like, I think any relationship can take on any sort of like unconventional aspect. And it doesn't have to be a big deal. It's just great. You guys are doing what makes sense for you two. Then we support it. It doesn't have to be like, oh, well, most couples actually sleep in the same bed. It's like, well, awesome. We don't. And we're actually really happy together. Yeah. I think there's a lot of strength to a couple making a decision that is outside of the norm because the two of them are like, oh, we want this. Right. And we don't care that it's conventional or it's traditional or whatever. We're doing our own thing. I think that shows strength. I agree. I don't judge people for that at all. I don't really think too much about it. I think that it makes sense for some people. I feel like I like the idea of having like everybody gets their own like space to make whatever they want of the space. But I would for sure be having a slumber party every night. I can't do that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Do you want to come over? You'd be at the doorway with a blanket. I have a little walkie-talkie. Please come over. Please. What are you doing? Please, Arasha, come to my room. Oh, okay. All right. Our next story comes from Am I Overreacting? This comes from March 21st, 2026. A package from an adult toy company arrived at my house addressed to another woman. Am I overreacting? Woohoo! How does she know it's a sex toy? She broke a federal law. Whoa! That's right. I need an outside perspective because I genuinely can't tell anymore if my instincts are off or if I'm being gaslit into thinking they are. A package arrived at our house recently. Right address, wrong name. A woman I've never heard of. I looked up the return address out of curiosity. It's Adam and Eve, an adult toy company. I brought it to my husband calmly. No accusations, no yelling. Just showed him and asked if he knew anything about it. His response was immediate and defensive. Instead of being confused or trying to figure it out with me, he turned it on me. Started questioning me about why something like that would show up here. I was so caught off guard, I almost started apologizing. - What? - Here's where it gets hard. harder to dismiss as coincidence. I looked up the name on the package. She works in the same professional world as my husband, in the same area he frequents, same field, specific enough that when I saw it, my stomach dropped. He has a history of being dishonest when confronted about things that are hurtful. This isn't the first time I felt like I was being made to feel crazy for asking a reasonable question. So I'm asking strangers on the internet, is this nothing? Is there some totally logical explanation I'm missing? Because from where I'm standing, it feels like a lot of dots connecting in one direction. Am I overreacting? Whoa. Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm jumping. I'm already five steps ahead. I'll wait. Jump. What if guy is like, you know, trying to cheat and girly, this is a hey girly, but as a package. Oh. The hey girly message. Oh. You're saying that the woman that he's cheating on or cheating with. Or that we think he is. Yeah, that is maybe having an affair with. Sent that package. She sent that package. Find my name. Find me. Yeah. That's what she did with Adam and Eve. Find me. Like if she didn't know he was married, she found out he was married and was like, oh. I'm going to send some shit to his house. Yes. Whoa. Okay. Yes, yes, yes. That's so it. That's so it. That's a very, very, out of all the horrible scenarios that this could be, that's probably one of the more positive ones. The best case scenario is that this was just somehow a complete mistake. Yeah. But it's, the right address. So it's not like a neighbor, right? It's not like you go to your neighbor's house and you're like, hey. Right. And him being defensive. Oh, the defensive is the worst part of this, right? Yeah, that's it. Like everything about it is one thing. It's the defensive thing. Yeah. And I also just want to flag, I hated the sentence of he's been dishonest with things like this before. Whenever, whenever OP writes something like that, it's like, okay, he has a history of being the worst boyfriend in the world, but. But, you guys. He's hot. Right. It's like, well, we're going to lean on the side of this is probably a pattern. Yeah. And this is the day that we're calling it out. Right. I was hoping that it's like, oh, like, you know, everybody accidentally sends a thing to their old address when it's, especially like a website like that, you're not ordering from often because stuff, you know, it'd be lasting. It'd be lasting. If it's good quality product. Then all you need is a good wash. Washes more. Yeah. A good wash. A good wash. So, you know. When you're like, okay, six months later or however, like you've moved, that's one of those random websites where you forgot to change the website or the address. Yeah. And then she like, this is possible that it's a coincidence, but it's also possible it's a coincidence and he's, he's being unfaithful regardless of what it's with the coincidence. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Suspicious altogether. The fact that it's a woman who is just so happens to work in the same field in the same area as him, that's a, it's a, it's a crazy coincidence. Yeah. Tis. But he could be helping the case if he were to just respond with that kind of argument. The immediate defensiveness and turning it on her where she's like, I felt like I needed to apologize. I was like, that's the suspicious thing about all of this because that is what people who are guilty tend to do sometimes. And this is a physical thing. It's not like a, oh, I saw that you were looking at, I think I saw you looking at a woman for a long time. Like something like this is a physical. It's a physical thing that arrived at your house that you're like, how can that be turned on her? Right. Like, how can that be turned on her? Of just like, you know, oh, how could you doubt me? How, like, why would you think that I would possibly cheat on us? Like, this is crazy. Why would you bring me this box? And then it makes you feel like, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to like shuffle that up. And it's a very common thing to get a wrong package sent to your place. Yeah. There's not a good scenario where he's being defensive. Yeah. Right. But let's see. Yeah. The verdict is not overreacting. Comments, not overreacting. If he immediately gets defensive and has a history of being dishonest, does she work or live in a town he travels to? OP says, it's about 30 to 40 minutes from where we live. So the name on the address works so far away from where they live. So far away? Why would she order a package? To her coworkers. To a person who works in the same field as her. Oh, I see. Not even coworkers. Just the same field. But it's a very specific. Someone said, the defensiveness is the real issue. If this happened to me and I showed it to my husband, he'd be having quite a laugh. And unless you were like some kind of super religious prude who thought these were like the devil's toys or something, I think most people would react that way. OP said, I'm no prude. I'm no prude. Harriet Queen. Okay. Harriet Queen. Harriet. Someone said, you're not overreacting. You're a cheating moron of a husband. Ordered adult items for him and his girlfriend and auto-filled his own address. Mail them to her and say, these were delivered. These were delivered to mine and my husband's home and see what happens after that. OP said, I like your thought. Maybe I take it to her work and give it to her. I am considering sending her an email. Due to her field, the info is public. I'm pissed at him for his choices. I don't know what she knows or what he told her. I don't want to ruin her life, but I want to know how long it's been going on. Oof. Yeah, to be clear. Don't show up to a workplace. Yeah, don't put this on her. That is an HR issue. If you have to show, like, don't make this, don't bring this personal issue to her workplace. We don't know how involved she is or if she's aware. Put the blame on the husband, right? Like, put the pressure there. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I mean, I feel like maybe I'm coming at it, too, from, like, a communicative standpoint. But I feel like maybe I would try to give the information that she found about the woman being in the same field and bring that back to the husband first, too. Like, I think the email is more productive, too, to, like, try to get that line of communication started. But also just, like, I don't know. I guess I'm also just thinking about it. Like, from my standpoint of, like, if I were to bring something up like this, the natural reaction would be, like, let's have a conversation about how this possibly could have happened. Yeah. And just see how he treats that information. Like, does he also try to, like, tangle that up and make it something that doesn't make sense? Or is he, like, shocked by that? And, you know? Yeah. I don't know. It's, like, the whole, like, sleuth of it all, it feels like it's a little scary. Because, I mean, at the start we were, like, oh, is she being a girl's girl, this other woman, and trying to, like, throw her a hint, like. Mm-hmm. Could she reach out to her? And it's, like, hey, what's going on here to get some clarity? Yeah. Because I don't know if she's going to get the truth out of her husband, who is famously dishonest. Right. Mm-hmm. Right. So if you're writing a post and you're going, yeah, my partner, who is dishonest with me all the time, then I'm, like, that is a little bit of me being a Redditor where I'm, like, why are you with this person? Right, yeah. Like, that you cannot trust? The writing's on the wall. It is. Update. Yeah! Yeah! What do we think? Harmony. Harmony. Is this all a big misunderstanding, or do we think he's cheating on her? I mean, like, my heart wants to be, like, it's a misunderstanding. Totally. You know? And, like, the sex toys were for him. Period. And that's his alias. Yeah. Yeah, what if it was his drag name? You know, we don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. That's what we're going with, is he's in drag. I'm scared. All right. As it turns out, I put two and two together, and I was wrong. I had a burner email and reached out to her. I had receipts, metaphorically. She emailed me back. She's been staying at her mother's house down the street and fat-fingered the address. It was one number off. The package was for her and her husband, who are reconciling. I had essentially asked an innocent woman if she was sleeping with my husband via a carefully crafted email from a secret account while she was out here just trying to spice things up with her spouse. She apologized. I told her it wasn't necessary, and I apologized. I invited her for coffee because I clearly have no surveillance. I'm not going to be able to get her to sleep. I'm going to be able to get her to sleep. I'm boxing in front of me. Are we getting matcha? What do you like, the roast? Me in a paraglider dropping it off. Yeah, and me like moving in. Yeah, she's like, all right, let's hang out. Moving on. Okay. It's a good one. It's a good one. Nobody's overreacted yet. No. But we've had misunderstandings. Yes. Our next post comes from the subreddit Nanny. I think this is a first. Oh, this is going to get good. Oh, this is going to be so good. This is going to be nuts. No, this is going to be good. I used to be in like a Facebook page of like babysitters and like families and stuff like that. And people would just fully post screenshots of the obscene things that families would ask. I can't wait for this. Oh, God. No, I don't nanny anymore, but I used to nanny. So you nannied as well. I nannied. It's so fun. I loved to nanny. I nannied these two sisters. And my favorite part was every morning I'd go help them pick out their outfits and then drive them to school. Oh. I used to nanny like a little baby, too. And my favorite thing, like in the mornings, is you would like walk into the crib and you'd go, good morning. You're sobbing. Okay, I'm not overreacting. It's good. All right. Ready? Okay. Let's do it. Nanny. Nanny. This was posted in October of 2025. Am I overreacting about my nanny family having sex during the day? Yes. Okay. Okay, nanny fanny. They're making more work for her. Yeah. Which is great. You're doing more of them. Amazing. You're creating job stability. Hey, we're working here. Yeah. Hi, everyone. I'm a full-time nanny for a stay-at-home mom with an eight-month-old baby. The baby is honestly perfect. So sweet and happy. Naps great. I've been with the family for about seven months now. The mom and dad are both amazing employers. They're super nice to me. The mom gets me Starbucks and acai bowls. Even makes me lunch sometimes. I make $32 an hour with great benefits in a MCOL, medium cost of living area. So overall, this is a dream job. Here's my only issue. I'm pretty sure the parents are having sex during the dad's lunch break. Maybe every day or every other day. They go to their room and I never see anything inappropriate. But sometimes I hear what I think might be the bed moving. It's not loud or anything. Just a little bit. It's not loud. It's not loud. It's not loud. It's just enough to make me realize what's going on. Afterward, her hair is messy, clothes changed, that kind of thing. Today I asked the mom what she was up to when she came out of the room. And she didn't really say much. I kind of jokingly said, oh, were you napping? And she got a little red and awkward. That pretty much confirmed it for me. I know they're married adults and it's their house, but it still makes me a little uncomfortable since I'm there taking care of their baby. They're not being disrespectful or obvious, but it just feels weird. Would it be totally out of line to ask the mom, to ask them not to do that while I'm working? Or am I overreacting and should just let it go? They really are such a great family and I don't want to make things awkward if this is just me being overly sensitive. What would you do? Whoa. Okay, so to go back. Yep. She's saying, I think they're having sex. They go to the room. I don't hear much. I think I hear the bed moving. I think. And then when they come out, she's maybe changed clothes. It's just whatever. And so she's thinking, this is happening and she's uncomfortable with the thought of them having sex. Yeah, it's almost like her own hypervigilance has brought her to, well, now she can't unknow it now. But she's also paying attention. She's really like, where? And when they're coming out, she's like, what were you up to? Right. It's like, oh, were you napping? Yeah. I'm just kind of like, what? Right, right. It's like, what do you think they would tell you? She does not have confirmation of what's happening. Right. And yeah, she's also like, they're a married couple. They're a married couple. They're shutting the door. They're going to another room. Every day. I'm impressed. Or every other day. Good for them. Wow. After a baby, too? Seriously. I do think, like, I'm thinking about roommate life. You know what I mean? And how it's like, when you got roommates and life is happening, it's just kind of happening and you don't, you can't really put rules on that kind of stuff when it's like, like you can, and I think since this nanny is like, aware that it's happening, but not so much so that it's a problem. It's just the fact that now she knows that it's her problem. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. It's like, maybe she just needs to like, put some music on. And then maybe then they'll be like, wait, does she know? And then like, then it's like this unspoken, okay, we're aware. And maybe we need to either be a little more discreet or be more conscious of when or. Totally. I don't know. I like, and I don't necessarily falter for feeling a little weird about it. Yeah. No, that's fine. That's totally valid. For sure. But she's at a place, like, I'm like, don't like push when they come out of the room. Don't be like, what were you doing? Like in the hall. I'm just picturing in the hallway, like, this is me. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to go all the way over here. Yeah, yeah. What were you doing? Were you napping? Yeah. Like, actually looking for answers. And it's like, the parents would not give that. I flowed up. Just even further into the dark. Just like, what were you doing? Listen, bouncing up and down. I think it's also, we're just, we just like to jump on the bed. Yeah. We're just functional. I can only assume to, I mean, I feel like, in order to afford, $32 an hour. This nanny's a full-time nanny, has been there for months, getting paid $32 an hour. I can only assume this is a bigger house. A full-time nanny, is she living there? I don't think she's living there. Yeah, she would have said live-in, I think. I'm a full-time nanny. I don't think she's a live-in nanny, but I think she's a full-time nanny. So this has got to be a nice house. Yeah. Truly. I'm also trying to picture, because I'm picturing, I'm like, this is at least a house. I'm like. I'm like, how close proximity is all of this also? Yeah. There's a few layers, but I mean, ultimately, I'm just like, you're getting paid $32 an hour. There is a degree to which I would be like, yes, there is a line that can be crossed here. Yeah, I think that's like, definitely like, just how you view it. Like, how you look at it. Because it's like, depending on where you stand in it, like, if you're more conservative, and you're like, oh, like, it kind of gives Clutching My Pearls a little bit, how this is written. Where it's like, I don't know. Maybe if I was in that situation, I'd start to go like, oh, lunch is going to be soon. I'm going to like, hang out with the baby on the other side of the house so I don't hear it. Or it's just like, get it, girl. Good job. Good on them that their love is alive and this baby hasn't slowed things down. Like. Yeah. Just kind of now you know when it happens and you can just go hang out with the baby in the backyard. Yeah, yeah. Like, the way I think about it too, right, is like, with these nanny situations, it's so often now that we have work from home that so many parents are just staying home, but somebody is still coming to specifically, take care of the child. And when that's the case, the parents are allowed to do whatever. So, like, if they were taking, like, a work meeting, you wouldn't jump in there and be like, hey, you can't be doing that right now. What are you doing? What are you doing? Like, napping. Are you working? Yeah. It's like you're, they kind of have this ability to just, like, be around. You're getting paid to specifically watch the kid and the parents are free to do whatever in their own house. Yeah. Yeah. She's not hearing a lot. Like. Just the bed moving. If she wants, like, she could, I don't know if they got a stroller situation. Like, maybe she just goes for a nice little stroll. Yeah. It's time. Totally. Yeah. Yeah. It's been seven months working with them. Yeah. And I don't know how recent it is. I'm assuming this can't have been for that long, but. Yeah. Let's see. So, the verdict is overreacting. Okay. Good. I think overwhelmingly so. Comments. Comments. You are way out of line confronting the mom boss because you suspect the married adult's may have taken advantage of what they expected to be private time to do private things. Really, O.P., the kids are napping. Instead of taking a break or focusing on cleaning up or preparing for nanny kids activities, you are being creepy, eavesdropping, listening for bed creaks, generating offense that they might have, probably did, enjoy a private, intimate, mutual activity in the most private space in their private home. You're the problem. The whole problem. This is Becca and Tanya from Scrubbing In with Becca Tilly and Tanya Rapp. NMLS number 1353190. Someone said, oh girl, LMAO. At $32 an hour, I would just put on headphones while baby naps and mind my business. Personally, I would love that. I would let it go. Maybe that's the reason you're paid so well in the first place. Let mama lay it down on him so you can make $64 an hour. Someone said, you are overreacting. I don't think you should make comments to them about what they are doing behind closed doors. I personally feel you should not ask them not to do that. You're overstepping and making it an issue. You said they aren't loud nor making it obvious. Adults do adult things. OP said, in response, but I'm working. You don't think it's disrespectful? to while someone someone's taking care of your kids under your roof. It's making me uncomfortable. They both go into the bedroom and come out with messy hair and smiley faces. It makes me feel weird. - Okay. - I don't know what to tell of you, right? - I feel that they're happy and blissful and happy. - Right, I think it goes back to what you were saying, is like, it's how you're viewing this. If you're kind of treating it like hee hee hee, or like, ew, oh my god, sex? - I don't know what to say, 'cause I'm like, I understand if people, it's like, oh what boundary of yours are they crossing? How are, what are they doing to you? It's like, they're not doing anything to her. - Right. - They're going to another place, they're closing the door, you're not hearing anything, and then you're upset that they're coming out with a different vibe. I'm like, that's not really a problem. - Right. - I guess I'm trying to understand her perspective in like, okay, let's, we talked about roommates, we've talked about neighbors, now let's talk about the workplace, you know, and like how you'd be weirded out if your coworker in their office was like watching adult content during the work day. - Okay. - So that would feel like if you caught them or even saw them, they would like report it to HR and be like, hey, this is making me uncomfortable. So, but it's purely that she was so like checking in and is suspicious of this. - She's really seeking it out. - Really seeking it out, and like, it's a really great job. She'd maybe, like, 'cause I'm trying to understand like the parallels of like how this could feel like sexual harassment for some reason, but it's not like, but it really feels like they need her now more than ever. Like they're trying to maintain a household, a marriage, and like, what does she want them to be doing all day while she's working? Does she want them to also be working the whole day? - 'Cause if she's a full-time nanny, when she's done working, she leaves there now in charge of the kids. - Right. - They're probably not, this is, this might actually be the only time where they're not worried about the kid and they get this, and they're together. It is, I can't relate too much to this because I've only worked in shared workspaces like this, which is a very different beast than like this, you're working in a private home. - Yeah. - Like, I don't know, that's, it's a little different. And so much of this is not, I am hearing this, I am seeing this, it's, I think you guys are doing this, and I'm uncomfortable by the idea of it. And it's like, I don't know what to tell you, man. - It's like, but if you're-- - Like, has she ever had roommates? - But if you're also uncomfortable, then like, what are you seeking from getting your answers? Why are you going to the door being like, "What were you up to in there?" - I know, like you're pushing it. - Hearing from them, "Oh, we were having sex." Would that make you more comfortable? - Yeah. - Like, what was-- - No, 'cause she wants to ask them to stop at that point. And it's like, do you understand the impact you have on other people when you, like, are trying to police their lives like that? - Right. - Yeah. - No, it's so true, like, that's probably the only time where they feel like they can have that time. - Yeah. - For a lot. - Yeah, it's interesting. - It is. - We have an update. - Oh! - Update, thunder. - Update, update, update. We're being fed. - Yes, we are. - We are fed. - We are fed. - As we are reading this, apparently it is thundering and lightning-ing outside. - Yeah. - So cool. - I'm sad I'm not outside. - The power gonna go out again? - Should we continue from outside? - Cut to us outside. - We should do that. - Just, we somehow bring the whole set out there, too. - Yeah, yeah. We know OP is gonna push more. - I can't wait. I can't wait. - OP's gotta push more. - And I hope they push more to each other. - All right. - Okay. - That Friday morning, I told my mom boss I wanted to talk during the baby's nap. - Mom boss. - And she said okay. I brought up how uncomfortable I felt about what I thought was going on, and mentioned how I could sometimes hear or notice things that made me think they were having sex while I was there. I told her it made me uncomfortable, and that's when everything went downhill. She was very direct with me. She said my only job was to take care of the baby, not to worry about what she and her husband were doing. She told me if I had downtime, I could watch TV or read a book. I told her it just seemed weird that she'd come out with messy hair or different clothes. - What is with the hair being a mess? - Messy hair. Messy, messy hair. - Like, just get her a hairbrush. - Jesus. And she explained that sometimes they do workout videos in their room, sometimes it's sex, sometimes cuddling, and sometimes she's just napping. She said whatever happens in her bedroom is none of my business. - Period. - After that, things got really quiet. She wasn't mean, but I could tell she was uncomfortable and hurt. Then she told me I could go home for the day, and I just knew that meant I was done. Later she texted saying they were going to move in another direction, and that was it. I feel horrible, I know I crossed a boundary, and I regret bringing it up so much. I miss them terribly, the money was amazing, my mom boss was so kind, and their baby was absolutely perfect. I really wish I could fix this, and somehow get my job back. How do I get my job back? - Oh, girl! - How do I get my job back? Go to a different Reddit. - Enough questions! - Different Reddit for that one. - This is really a case of like, look, I do sometimes disagree with the majority on Reddit, but you went to Reddit for a response, and you got an overwhelming reaction, and it sounds like you didn't take it into consideration at all. - Yeah, you actually doubled down. - Yeah, I'm like, what were you coming here for? - Yeah. - I'm so proud of you. - You're so proud of the mom boss. - Yes, mom boss. - No, mom boss, actually. To send somebody who's already working the job that you're moving in another direction is so tough. - Brutal. - 'Cause you already have this job, you're working it, and now it's like, and we're going elsewhere. - Yeah. - I love that she responded being like, sometimes we do workout videos, which I'm like, oh, that makes a lot of sense. Like, P90X would sound like that, or whatever. - Totally. - But it's like, and then she's like, and sometimes we be. - And sometimes I be bouncing up and down on that. - Oh, my God. - And how does that make you feel? - It has to make you feel. - Okay, we're moving in another direction. - And I just style my hair this way. This is how I like my hair. - Yeah. - The hair has nothing to do with it. I tie my hair back every time. - That's just how my hair is. - Yeah. - Sometimes I have a crazy nap. - That's crazy. - Yeah, and I don't think there's any coming back from that. - No. - 'Cause it's so uncomfortable, right? - You shattered a wall that cannot be fixed. - I think you guys brought it up earlier, and I think it's true that it's like, oh, if something's happening and you're like, oh, I'm a little uncomfortable by this. It's like, what's the most subtle way, like, oh, you turn on a little bit of music, like some way that it's just like, oh, I know about it, but I'm not saying that I know about it. - Yeah, or just freaking change your perspective on it, guys, like this isn't. We've heard stories of worse things. - Oh, my God. - Where it's like, oh, there's a world where there's a couple doing crazy loud activities. - Also, I would guess that nine out of 10 times on Subreddit, we hear about nannies, that the mom boss is the bad person. - Oh, right, yeah. - Like, this is just one of the rare occasions where I'm like, I'm not on the nanny side as much. - Right, yeah. - But nannies get treated awfully, so often that. - The boundaries can feel rough, yeah. - It sucks, too, 'cause it's like, it sounds like she really does realize all of that now. - Yeah. - It sounds like after the fact, she's like, well, I shouldn't have brought it up, and I shouldn't have done this, which is, of course, frustrating, because everybody told her not to. - But she's now broken the seal, where they can't have her there, 'cause they're like, well, she now is thinking, she's paying so much attention, she's caring about how my hair looks when I come out of the bedroom. - Like, you should be using that energy toward the kid that we have hired you to care about. - Yeah. - No, like, what did she think was gonna happen? What did she think was gonna happen that the mom was gonna go, ugh, sorry, okay, we won't anymore. - She reminds me of Jesse Plemmons' character from Game Night, where he's just like, what are you guys doing in there? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - Just, like, creating your own problems, not solving anything. - Perceiving a little too much. - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, rough. - Update number two. - Whoa! - She's back. - All right. - She got the job again. - Let's see if she, do we think she got the job again? - No way. - Okay. I sent a text message to my mom boss on Sunday morning, and she responded this morning saying she forgives me, and that she hopes I take this as a learning experience, but they will not hire me back. - Whoa! - I love mom boss. - Mom boss is, indeed, capital M. - Capital M, capital B. - I wanna hear about Pop Boss. - She continues, I miss her so much. She said she talked to her husband about everything, and they decided to give me a month's pay until I find a new job. I honestly didn't expect that. It was really kind of them, even after everything that happened. I miss my unicorn family so much. I was completely in the wrong, and I take full responsibility for that. I know I hurt people who trusted me, and that's something I have to live with and learn from. - Aw. - I will not be filing any sexual harassment report. The people who were telling me to do that were not giving me good advice, and I will be keeping my distance from them from now on. I miss my nanny baby so much. I can't believe I won't be going back. It breaks my heart because they were such a big part of my life. I keep replaying everything in my head and wondering if there's anything I could say or do to make things right. I know trust, once broken, is hard to fix, but I wish I could show them how much I've grown and how truly sorry I am. I'm trying to find a new job now, and honestly, everyone's been so rude. It's really been hard. I can't believe my old employer still paid me $5,000 and $200 after letting me go. That was so generous of them. I really didn't deserve it after everything that happened. To be honest, maybe part of the problem was that I was a little jealous of her. - I knew it! I knew it! I was about to say that! - Uh-oh! - I knew it! Show us Pop Boss! - We need to see the boss. - I need to see the bosses. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it. Her hair is messy because he a sexy man that's messing it up. I need it. - I feel like, I don't know how old OP is, but they give, like, this situation, like, how the rest of their, the frontal lobe of their brain, they went, oh, and then she, like, realized, All of the consequences and all the things. She had her Grinch moment, but it was with her brain. Yeah, like, oh my God. The consequences of my actions. I knew it. Jealous? See, that's, I'm telling you, man, I do think, okay, this is going to sound a little, I don't know if it'll sound crazy. I think Reddit can be a good place for advice, but you need, it's anonymous, so you need to be so honest about all the aspects you think are going on. If she had written that in the initial post, it would have added so much more of just like, and yeah, I'm a little jealous of this person. It's like, all right, now we can all work a little bit more. You just want him to not have sex with anybody. The amount of times the update, OP is like, all right, so here's actually what's going on. I'm just like, God damn. Seriously. You can hear so much regret in that update. I feel really bad for them because they really are like, it was, I think, a really like a moment of ego. Totally. Yes. Totally. Totally clouded her. Like, I wish she could have just Dr. Stranged of what could have happened and just chosen not to burp the bubble. Yeah. And look, and here's the thing. Here's the thing. I do think it shows like what this mom boss is doing is so important for people to do of like, hey man, don't, sometimes it is important to like bring the fucking hammer down on people when they cross a boundary so that they have to like learn. Because now this is huge for OP. Totally. I hope OP finds a job. Me too. Because it sounds like they needed a wake up call to be like, okay, I need to respect people. I need to like tune in with myself a little bit more. Yes. Yes. It's so huge. They will be a better person for this. Yeah. And they're being accountable, which is awesome. Like that, that's just always like the best case scenario is you hear somebody doing something that you're like, oh, and then they come around. I also want to say too, it sounds like maybe what was going on because of the jealousy thing, maybe they knew what they wanted to do, which was try to make it stop. So despite there being an overwhelming. Amount of comments telling them, don't do it, don't do it. They probably were weeding out the ones that were like, you're right, girl. Because they were like, oh, I was the sexual harassment. Right. Like the verdict was so overwhelming. Now they continue on. They go, to be honest, maybe part of the problem was that I was a little jealous of her. She's a stay at home mom. Beautiful. Only 28. Rich. Has a gorgeous home. And she and her husband are truly happy. She's such a good mom. And it just felt like she had this perfect life, her dream life. And I'm the same age. And I think that made me feel small in ways I didn't even realize at the time. I hate admitting that, but it's true. Now I just feel so lost. I miss them so much. I keep wishing I could go back and do things differently. I know I can't, but I still hope one day I can find a family even half as good as them. I don't know if I should try reaching out again down the road or just accept that it's over and move on. Part of me wants to hold on to hope, but part of me knows I need to respect their decision. Any advice on what I can do to maybe get them back or should I just leave it and start fresh? I'm really debating and feeling lost about what the right thing to do is. Learn from my mistakes, guys. Don't leave a good family. Let everything go. Don't let jealousy or pride get in the way of something real. Some things just aren't worth losing the people who truly care about you. Appreciate what you have before it's gone. Okay, so she's 28 and the mom is 28. Yeah. And not that it matters. For some reason, I picture nannies, I guess I picture any age, right? But I think I was picturing. OP being younger than the mom. Me too. For some reason, I was. Yeah, like 16. I didn't have that. But it kind of adds another layer to like when this 28-year-old walks out of a room and another 28-year-old's like, what were you doing in there? I'm just like. You were like, we're adults. I thought I was picturing like a 22-year-old and like a 30-year-old mom and the 22-year-old's just like young and still just like feeling weird about things. But now we know it's a 28-year-old who's jealous of the 28-year-old. Which is precisely the reason that you should not reach back out. No. There are people. No. Feelings associated. So even though it was a perfect situation, which by the way, shout out to that family for being so wonderful. Paying her after the fact too, like forgiving her, all of that stuff is just showing green flags for this family. So she is right. She did leave a perfect situation, but she should. And I think OP is learning a lot, but I don't like that they're like, how can I get them back? Is there any advice? I'm just like, no, this is, stop. But it sucks. It sucks. It is so awful. And you mess up a good thing and you have to let it go. Yeah. You have to go, okay, I did this. I have learned from it. I'm not the same person anymore. Yeah. But I can't have that thing back. Yeah. It's like, I don't know how long OP has been nannying, but it's like really assessing your situation and being like, okay, how much worse could this be? And how much better could this possibly be? I would be uncomfortable if I could like hear them audibly. Yeah. Well, when you brought up roommates, that's what I was thinking too, of like, you know, we've always, we've all heard like a roommate. And their partner doing it in another room. And it's like, you're going to hear some bumping. You're going to hear some, you know. Yeah. See, what she could also done is when they come out, she could have just been like. Nice. Sick, dude. Like, get it, girl. Okay. All right. How was it? Who came first? Yeah. She lights cigarettes for them. You guys need these? Yeah. Two cigarettes. Some towels. And they're like, where's the baby? Yeah. Where's. Oh, shit. The baby. Oh. The baby's already lit up. She looks over at the dog door. She's like, oh. Yeah. She had every opportunity to make this funny and awesome. You could have made this so funny. No. While they're in the bedroom, she messes up her hair and changes clothes. He's like, guys, me too. And they come out and she goes, guys. Guys. I had some crazy sex. Guys, Adam and Eve package came in. That's so good. All right. Yeah, but she f***ed it up. This was posted in. Oh, April of 2026. Oh, that's now. And it is now. Am I overreacting for ending things with my date after he accidentally texted me this? This. Screenshot. Okay. Oh, I love this. Also, I think you're allowed to end a date for whatever reason you want. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm bored. No. Yeah, so what I was talking about with my family. I'm bored. I'm bored. I'm bored. Okay. All right. I, a 22-year-old woman, went on a first date with this guy who's 22. I met on Hinge. The date was amazing. He's super attractive and we had great chemistry. At the end of the night, he dropped me home and we kissed. Uh-oh. A bit later, after I got home, we were texting and suddenly things got weird. He sent me a pic of myself and I was confused. No. Then these texts followed. He sounded like a totally different person and I was puzzled. Here are the texts. Okay, so he sends a photo. He sends a photo of her. No, no. Oh, no. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. What could it be? What could it be? I have literally no idea. He sends the photo of her. What are you crying? And then he writes, 11 out of 10, bro. Soft skin, big titties, smells good. She's got that mommy aura for real. L-M-F-A-O, I unironically jizzed a little when we kissed, LOL. I mean, like, a little bit, like, period. A little bit, I'd be like, wait, 11 out of 10, big titties? Okay. But mostly that. Mostly this. No, 11 out of 10, bro. I'm like, aw. It's like soft skin. I'm like, aw. And big titties, like, aw. No, mommy aura is ah. She's got that mommy aura. Not mommy. Ew, ew, ew. Ew, no, no, no. Who are you texting that to? His mom. Well, I think he thought, I, I, clearly he thought he was texting a friend, a bro. And then he sent it to her. I'm a pa. So she writes back, excuse me? And he goes, W-D-Y-M, what do you mean? Question mark, question mark, question mark. Still don't realize who you're texting. And then he writes, in all caps, holy, I can explain this. It's not what you think it is. No, yes, it is. I think it's exactly. It's exactly. It's exactly that. And then he says, I must begin by offering my most sincere and profound apologies for the profoundly unfortunate and embarrassing incident that occurred earlier this evening. Through an egregious error on my part. I have inadvertently exposed you to a series of private, highly inappropriate, and frankly juvenile remarks that were never meant for your eyes. The fault lies entirely with me, and I take full responsibility for this lapse in judgment and basic etiquette. Please allow me to express how deeply mortified and ashamed I feel at this moment. The content of those messages, while never intended to reach you, was crude, disrespectful, and objectifying in ways that no woman deserves to encounter. Particularly following what I had hoped was a pleasant evening spent in our. In your company. Referring to you in such reductive and objectifying terms reflects poorly, not only on my manners, but on my character as well. Furthermore, the tone and immaturity. I'm going to jump somewhere far. Well, I'll be shopping online and suddenly I'm like, well, technically. This counts as self-care. MLS number 1353190. Furthermore, the tone and immaturity displayed in those texts do not align with the respect I genuinely wish to extend toward you. The line regarding the kiss in particularly was entirely exaggerated. I did not experience it. It was actually awful. Unironically? It was not my intention to make you feel objectified, sexualized, and in an unwelcome manner or disrespected. Yet the reality is that my careless action has likely done exactly that. And for that, I am truly sorry. I want you to know that our date was genuinely enjoyable for me. I was excited, perhaps overly so, and allowed that excitement to manifest in the most inappropriate and childish private outlet imaginable. That does not justify it, but I hope it provides some small context for my lapse. In no way does it excuse the disrespect inherent in those words. I ask you to give me a second chance. That is all. That is all I am asking for. Chapter two. No, no, no. Just kidding. Oh, my God. I'm kidding. Oh, my God. What? She continues to write, now just in the post. He immediately apologized, but I'm really frustrated and upset. I was really into him and looked forward to our next date, but now I don't want to continue anymore. I just feel like he has no respect for me whatsoever and doesn't even see me as a human being. I cried a little to my friend, and she said I'm being dramatic and that he's just really attracted to me and he's hot, so I just. I shouldn't take it seriously because that's how guys talk. Oh! And you guys, I hang out with. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. There is a version of that text that he sends to his friend that is fine, I think. Not this. I'm saying, like, if he had actually sent her in and he's texting his buddy and he's like, dude, she is so hot. Sure, yeah, sure, sure. Oh, my gosh, she's amazing. It's just the way he was, like, talking about her. Who was he talking to? What's worse? Probably a friend. Grock. He was talking to Grock. What is worse? His initial text to his buddy or the chat GPT apology that goes on for quite literally pages? I think it's just embarrassing the stark difference in the language. Oh, my God. Who is the real you? Who is the real you? A person you're texting who is your friend who's known you a lot longer that you're talking to like that or this insane paragraph that just feels like a thesaurus on wheels. Well, and the apology, it's clearly AI because it gives no more details. It's just running in a circle over and over again because it has no information to play with. If you actually wanted to give a lengthy apology, it could have been like, when we were laughing about this on our date, I remember thinking that you were the, like, whatever. But instead, it's just like, my lapse in judgment actually indicated that you are upset by me. Yeah. Yes. It's like, he can be like, I'm so sorry. Like, me and my friends, like, it's an inside joke to just be outrageous. Like, he didn't, yeah, like, you're right about, like, no new info at all. Yeah, bro. Yeah. Okay. Stupid, stupid, stupid. That is, oh. Verdict was what? And nobody sucks here. Not overreacting. Yeah, and also the friend is the asshole in this, too. Yeah. For being like, that's just how guys talk, girl. Like, get it. Oh, yes. Fucking awful. Good bye. He's hot, so let him be the worst person ever. Right. Because I've always said, as long as I've been in the dating world, which was a brief time, but I had a while there, where I cared a lot about seeing how that person acted with their friends. Yes. And with other people that weren't me. Yes. Because that's where you really. learn about that person because it's so common for people to like treat their baby like different than like the rest of the world yeah yeah and and she even described i think in the original post that he was texting and it sounded nothing like him and that's also just such a red flag of like he can clearly manipulate his personality to be like oh i'm the perfect guy that's gonna make you think we have so much in common and all this great chemistry but then i'm gonna go home and actually be myself around my friends and that was revealed to her yeah right this is insulting her intelligence so much oh yeah he objectified her and then he insulted her brain as much as possible yeah by sending that and thinking she'd fall for it i understand her like not i i get her kind of being like is there any hope because it's like if it was an amazing date and like the context of like you know when you're dating you're wanting it to be working out and this guy did work out but now this weird situation you're like i definitely should stop right it sucks so much i feel like first dates first few dates you really don't know the person at all because people are putting on a show i can't imagine too because i feel like from what i've heard about the dating scene especially the la dating scene is like dudes put on such an act right and it sucks yeah it's like what can you what can you do because it doesn't take much to just be like yeah i love i love that too yeah yeah i agree and now knowing like the switch between how he spoke and what we could maybe likely assume was a chat gbt of some kind like all the messages leading up to the date do we know does she know how like who she's talking to yeah i mean it's looking at it reading this it's so obviously chat gbt because it is just one massive paragraph and it's it's literally broken up into paragraphs within the text and i know people text in all sorts of different ways but when he texted his friend it was like oh my god i don't know what to do with this i don't know what to do with this it was singular sentence text yeah and then his entire style changes so much yeah um no he's just you know he's stupid you know he's actually stupid i think i've got it he's stupid because he thinks just a lengthy response is going to be a better apology than him actually just owning up to it he like quickly went to chat gbt or something and was like i fucked up and i really need help and it and it has to just include so many details and show how apologetic i am he went from saying mommy aura for real with an fr to writing please allow me to express my deeply mortified and ashamed feeling at this moment it literally felt like we switched to pride and prejudice totally yeah suddenly i must begin my profound apology by profoundly apologizing profoundly apologizing shut up shut up you're stupid shut up you're stupid comments is that an ai generated apology someone said absolutely went from jizz jizzing his shorts to egregious error someone said never underestimate the power of post nut clarity someone said not overreacting guy here this is not at all just how guys talk lol some guys sure but this is not how me or my friends have ever talked about a woman we were interested in it is in no way a most guys thing it's a some young assholes and dudes that never grew out of being a shit bag thing someone said i unironically jizzed when we kissed as opposed to an ironic jizz how does that work yeah yeah dude i don't think he's using unironically correct yo like no joke i just no no we figured this one out already he's stupid right yeah yeah yeah yeah all right it's time for our final story oh no nothing more to say about that one damn we got it i wanted an update we got it all right this last post comes from am i overreacting posted only a few days ago am i overreacting i'm mad that my boyfriend who's 20 wished me happy birthday to 25 minutes late okay 25 minutes late does that mean it was the next day like midnight oh oh oh right you're right you're right uh-oh shane's getting sassy guys if you're listening switch to youtube you need to see this here we go i 19 overreact about my birthday and it's important to me uh i keep posting about my birthday month on my private instagram it just has like 15 close people and i think everyone knows my birthday is important to me including my boyfriend we've been dating for four to five months he's sweet and caring his cousins are visiting from london so he's been busy with them and that's okay i don't mind it but how much time does it take to drop a text saying happy birthday at 12 okay 10 people wished me between 12 a.m to 12 15 a.m including people i haven't even talked to in months most of my closest friends wished me a bit later by the way and i don't know if that's something else i wasn't even mad in the first place so even if they hadn't planned something i wouldn't be mad at them for not wishing me at 12 but me and my boyfriend can't meet on my b-day because of the said cousins he could have at least dropped a text even that was 25 minutes late then he called but i declined he called again and i didn't pick up and that's all i got for my birthday to be fair we do plan to meet this weekend and he asked me what i'd like as a gift and such but even then a birthday is a birthday my boyfriend doesn't take me to the b-day very seriously by the way he doesn't even like to celebrate and gets kind of annoyed if his friends celebrate for him he texted me twice in the morning too wishing me a happy birthday but i had to get ready for my party so i didn't reply i did call him and talk to him for a while though because my mood was better because i looked pretty i gotta go i gotta go i mean sorry that's relatable no totally that's relatable but i felt a little better because i was looking really good i was looking pretty so i talked to him i was looking pretty so i talked to him and talked to him and talked to him and talked to him and i was like oh my god i didn't know that was real but oh then all day radio silence he had sent one meme to me all day i was out the entire day day with my friends, but I had to get back home around 9 to 10 p.m. to celebrate with my family. He knew that. Even then, no texts asking if I'm home or what I'm doing. I think he would have asked that if he wanted to talk. Especially since I'd definitely be drinking at home with my family when we celebrate, so he could have dropped a text to talk before all that started. Then I was drunk, but I was home in my comfy clothes, so I was texting in this mutual group chat we have. He could see those texts too. Then my friend called me. He wasn't there with me on my B-day, and we talked while I was drunk, but my boyfriend didn't even bother with a single text. He called me at 1 a.m. I had been home for 3.5 hours at this point, and I answered. I was really mad, and I had sobered up for the most part too. He asked why I'm upset, and I just said I don't want to talk about it. Then he went to sleep. We were on a call for about 20 minutes with him just asking me why I'm upset and trying to talk, and I wasn't saying much because I didn't want to ruin my day. In the morning today, I woke up to three reels sent to me. He did ask two to three times over text why I'm upset, but a lot of it is like buttering me up by saying I'm so pretty and all that. I don't know if I'm overreacting about this or not. Some guy friend of mine said he'd order me a cake at midnight when I said my boyfriend hasn't even wished me and that he does it for his friends too. It's not that he's doing it because he likes me, but to be honest, he does hit on me, so I didn't agree to that. I already have three cakes, so it's not like I needed it, but then it makes sense too because my other friends got me a cake. Yeah. She's spelling because with a B-C-S, but it makes sense too because my other friends got me a cake and flowers and such to surprise me, and my boyfriend couldn't even drop a single text. Am I overreacting about all this? Broken heart emoji. He wasn't sleeping. He sleeps later than I do. Oh, so it's still going. He was up till like 3 a.m. He isn't working. He doesn't have a nine to five. He has generational wealth. That's it. Edit. I think there could be some cultural difference because I posted this in subs in my country, and they're telling me to dump him, LOL. Oh, my God. I think people are telling her to dump him to just save us all from the agony. Just save this man. No, save us. I want you guys to be 19 and for this to be what's going on, you know? Right. You're in high school. All your memories are back there. Yeah. It is all. And I know that it varies, but this 19-year-old, 19 going on 13. I felt like I was watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Yeah. Cordelia is just going off. A modern-day Cordelia who can't spell. That was a lot. Yeah. I cannot stand her. I cannot hear that. I cannot. I cannot. I think this is funny, though. It's hilarious. It's pretty funny to read. It's funny in the way that I want to kill you. I can't believe we're hearing. It's hilarious. It's just. It's so angering to hear, like, and he can't even drop a single text. After he called her more? In the same breath we've gotten, and he called me twice, and he texted me at this time, but then he can't even send one text? Like, nothing would have satisfied her unless it was, like, this huge, grand gesture, but even then, she would have been like, but it wasn't right at midnight, and it wasn't here. You know, we're talking a lot about her being 19, but I will also say, I have heard stories from people I know about their moms going on, like, who are single, going on dates, and acting this same way. Like, there's a very real possibility that 30 years from now, she is the same person. Yeah, which, again, there's some merit to, like, whatever is important to you can be important to you. That's totally fine. It's then putting that on other people and expecting them to know that and embrace it and just express it at the highest value. That's what feels so inappropriate, and you've been dating for, she said, four to five months. Like, that's still pretty early in a relationship to expect somebody to just show up, know exactly what they're saying. I'm going to take a wild guess and say that she hasn't expressed how important her birthday is to this person because he's over here, like, are you upset? Did I did something wrong? Like, is there something that you want to talk about? And she just doesn't want to say it? Right. That's not helping anybody in this situation. If you're going to refuse to talk about your feelings, even if they are a little unreasonable. Yeah. Like, all the pieces were right in front of her where she's like, some people don't care about their birthdays. It's like, yes. Yeah. Yeah. But I care about mine. Like, yeah. If somebody was texting me at midnight, happy birthday. I'd be like, damn. Like, why? Whoa. I think that was I remember when I was 19. It was I felt like it was more common for people to do that. Like the midnight text. Yeah. When you're young and alive. At 30, you're waking up. I'm like, dude, the paragraph where she's like some friend, a guy friend of mine said he'd order me a cake at midnight. And I was like, I don't even need that. I already have three cakes. I don't even need any more. I'm like, what is happening? I do think my theory is I think she's drunk writing this. She might be. She sounds drunk to me. But sometimes when you're 19 and you're just like, I remember being on Tumblr and just go. Yeah. It's also true. She's just free writing. This is a this is an exercise. Yeah. So verdict overreacting. You declined to his calls at 1225. Didn't reply to his morning text and then complained about radio silence for the rest of the day. You are self sabotaging. You effectively shut down his attempts to celebrate you and then got mad that he stopped trying to shout into a void. Someone said you're overreacting. I wouldn't even talk to you after this. It's 12 in the morning and you need everyone to say happy birthday to you immediately and then leave everyone who doesn't on read. You refuse to talk to him for hours over such a minor issue. His feelings are probably hurt and you sound so entitled. So it's overreacting. He said you're overreacting. He didn't wish you a happy birthday late. He wished you a happy birthday 25 minutes into a 24 hour day. I sincerely hope this is rage bait and not actually how you treat your partner. Opie said, wow, this is real crying emojis. Wow. I knew people like this when I was 19. Right. And a lot of people are shaking their or like nodding their heads in here. Yeah. I think a lot of people know someone like this. Totally. At some point. Yeah. Like, oh my gosh, I've been so hollow. Yes. I knew people who were like this extremely. So who then cut to 10 years later, you would never have guessed they were like that, right? Like people evolve so much and some people don't at all. And some people get worse. Yeah. And some people go good. Oh, and then back. And then back. It's actually by the time you're in your thirties, it's crazy. Right. The amount of like fluctuation you will see. Totally. Humans are fallible. Like, but we grow, we change. Yeah. Like you said, we evolve. We're going to be in different versions. So it's like, it's easy for us to critique and be like, oh my God, girl. But yeah, at the same time, it's like for me, as long as I hear eventually like a sense of responsibility or like, oh my gosh, of course, like, you know what guys I was being entitled for me. It's always like, great. Awesome. We've moved on. You have caught up to date. Like we're good. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. I personally have never cared about the happy birthday texts because I'm really bad at them myself. I'm so bad at it. But if people, I'm like, if you're in the first hour or even by like 9am, I'm like, wow, that's really sweet. Especially if she did communicate that. I think a 30 minute grace is valid. I would say 30 minute grace is valid for sure. In the most minimal sense. Okay. Totally. Totally. I could unpack that for days. Yeah. A lot to unpack from today. Yes. Thank you both for joining me. You're welcome. You're welcome. And thank you all for watching. Uh, let us know what your reactions were to these stories in the comments down below and we will see you next Saturday.