Hugh Jackman, Keg Stands, and Dog Chiropractors

I love Hugh Jackman, seeing him as Wolverine was obviously amazing as a kid. You're like, this is the coolest character ever, but I also worked in meltdown comics. And I read every fucking X-Men comic that came out and one of the things that is just core Wolverine is short is Wolverine's like four 11 and he's Canadian and he's Canadian. He thinks I don't like hanging out with his Canadian short guys and the things I just don't. But the things that Hugh Jackman got writers is like the grumpy, angry, like gruff guy. But the core of Wolverine is that he's a small, angry guy and Hugh Jackman's like six five. Yeah, no, he's like six. He's like Harry Jowdy. He's like, Harry Jowdy. He's a six five Australian guy. I know, but do you really want to see a five two angry little guys? Yeah. You know who they originally wanted to cast? It was Glenn Danzig. Oh, I did read that. And Danzig's a small guy. Yeah, that would be cool. And you look at like, like, like old Danzig photos, you're like, this looks like Wolverine. He looks like Wolverine. That'd be awesome, actually. But again, I don't want to see a short guy on screen. I want to, I want to move you to see attractive people. Okay. Yeah, I don't, I want to see a movie with me, which is why when I saw our first episode. I go get this off my screen. Yeah, too hot. Uh-huh. No. I, um, you thought you looked too short. On screen? I thought I looked pretty imposing because I was moving back and forth all the time. Moving back and forth. Lots of double chins, a lot of lean back. I went on Amazon and I bought jawline gum. It's gum. I started that. I was going to bring it today. Because I got really nervous. And that, you know, I'm going to admit it. It's like very, it's like gum you chew. That's really, really strong. Yeah. And so you're just building the jaw. So maybe next episode, I, that's the funny thing is is I know like a bunch of young actors who. Okay. - 100% Chew Hubba Bubba. - Oh yeah. - Make the jaw out. - Paul Wood out in high school, chewed enough gum, and now he's zetted jawline ever since. - Yeah, I mean, it's a real thing. - So just, just you wait. - Dude, I couldn't even imagine you with a jaw, I wouldn't even trust you anymore. (upbeat music) - I've been getting suggested a bunch of different things on Instagram since we started doing the podcast. - Big splore page? - Yeah, the splore page is obviously listening and everybody knows that's like the thing 'cause you could just whisper to it now and people are just like, all right, and then 10 minutes later it shows up on the podcast. The one thing that's been weirding me out though is that I've been getting suggested and I always get suggested kind of in the same vein stuff is like, this is gonna gross you out 'cause I just already know, but like pimple popping stuff, right? - Oh no. - I've always gotten the pimple popping stuff 'cause I do find it interesting. I like watching it, but-- - If I roll over bed between nine and 11 anytime, this Brits TikTok, it's pimple popping stuff. - It's pimple popping stuff. - There's some things, there's something about it that I could burst me out of this, but then you have to see it end. - Yeah, you have to get at the big head and then it's like, you have to get cold, right? - There's something out of it, it's cathartic where you watch it and you're like, wow, that must feel great now that it's gone. There's something weird, though-- - Yeah, you know, you feel the relief, yeah, of course. - Okay, the weird part is though, that's a really slippery slope because what happened is that it started pimple popping and then it started watching cum shots. (laughing) - No, dude, that's after a close Instagram. Then, but then it goes into like dog shit, like where it's like-- - No, no, that's-- - Where they're getting mango worms and shit out of dogs in like South Africa, okay? - I could see grab it a parasite out of a substance. - Like bot flies and things like that. - Yeah, yeah. - So then it slips into that, okay? And now I'm being suggested dog chiropractor videos. - I get those because of grandpa. - Okay, but-- - Yes. - Is it 'cause of French bull? - French bull, I suppose I don't know. - Maybe, but there's one thought that I have that I can't seem to get past with these, which is first off, like in modern medicine, chiropractic is like seen as kind of like woo-woo, right? Like it's not really seen-- - It's in licenses, but I don't think it's like, yeah. - It's not considered like fully medical grade. - I had to make people, again, Colin loved it. - Yeah. - And then someone else went, got their hip done, and hurt-- - Fucked them up for life. - Okay. - Literally walks funny. - So imagine training on a dog to do that. - Yeah, no, I always said that's are the biggest traitors. - Bro. - You're a good doctor, work on humans. Like what-- - Fair point. - Exactly. Like if you're so, if you love humans so much, then we can just work on humans. You will be your trader. And I love my dog, but it should be if anything, their moonlight position. Vets should only be open at night, because they should be working during the day on humans. - Okay, might also to that point. You can't make it homely without breaking a few eggs. - You think just feel like you gotta kill a few dogs to be a chiropractor for dogs. - One dog can relax for a chiropractor. - I think you're touching a rockweiler. You're not touching a human. So you're like, "All right, buddy." - How the fuck do you get, how do you become that? - You know, no, it's hot. - You're a weird dog. - You're weird, dude. And when I see those videos and I'm like, you shouldn't know how to bend a dog's shoulder back in place. You just shouldn't know how to do that. - No, no, I really wonder now how do you become a dog chiropractor? - Is there a weird guy? - I think you're a weird guy. - Is there a license? - I don't think there's a license for that, dude. There's not a license for the human version. - There's no reviews either. - There's not a license for the dog version. - That's why dog foods, I always thought, you can really give them anything. They don't have Yelp. (laughing) If they did, you could still call it Yelp. (laughing) But so you can feel like the dog food can taste really bad and we'd never know. - I've tasted it. - I've tasted it, but it's not for you. - Yeah, but you have tasted it too, come on. - Dog food? - Yeah. - No, I have to cook crampo just crampy for every day. - You actually do crampo. - I have to cook it all. - He's allergic to everything, yeah, so. - No, the crampo is like the best diet ever, but I've tasted it. You never went to Pekka and tried the dog cookies? - No, no, really. - Can't see, I did. - You also didn't have a brother though. - No, no, no, no. - So this is my sister's brother. - Yeah. - Yeah, this is brother, Lord. - You would go into places and get your. - But we always smell good. - Yeah, dude. - I mean, cat food, I remember when we would give our cat, we had our tray cat outside. - Yeah. - Cool and I would smell some of the tins and we'd be like, bro. - Did you have a chaff for sure? - It didn't taste very good. - You guys were just, we'll do weird twins. - That's scary. - There it is, it's like, I don't know a thing about brothers and it's just, you guys can get up to weird stuff. - You know about me, bro. - I know what boys do though. And it's not good during those ages. - No, it shouldn't be in the same house. - No, the thing is there's a lot of eating shit you shouldn't eat. - There's a lot of like, there's just a lot. - This is also why I don't think you like fart or poop humor, dude. - No, no, probably is. I didn't know how to burp until I was 17. - It was like awful. - I would do it. - No, it's sort of, they just hold it in. - I know, so I'd go out there. You can ask Hunter. - Stop in your head, stop in there. - It has Hunter about this or what? - She's growing. - We drink a 40-fold English in high school and then we'd be drinking and I'd just start going like this. - Put my head down and like rock back and forth until like slowly eased up the pressure 'cause I was so scared of vomiting that I didn't know how to burp. Until one night, finally I drank enough beer where it just, I burped and it felt so good. And now I'm like addicted to burping. - I think like my clothes all day long. - But then that's in season. - But if I had a brother, I probably would have known how to burp. - Yeah, I assume. - Burp lore is pretty early on. Burp lore is pretty early on. - But I was always scared about like, chugging soda as a kid, like in grade school. - But chugging soda sucks, dude. Remember, I did my first keg stand at your house in New York, yeah, and that's where we bullied Chalamet. - Yeah, you don't remember that? - Of course I do. - Timmy Chalamet. - He doesn't remember 'cause I saw him like years after that. He was like, what's up, dude, it's good to see you. And I was like, pretty sure Brendan and I were like, vicious to you. - By the way, we probably just, we'd just find him because he didn't do a keg stand. - Well, no, it's not fair also because like he was like a Columbia, like art nerd and we were like keg stand. - Oh yeah, yeah, we were a cool guy. - Yeah, we were sick as hell. - No, your first keg stand was, was it for the July party? - I remember going up to an elevator after that 'cause I could not do it and I was like, that was the worst thing ever. - Yeah, that sucks. - You hated it? - So you and Timmy actually bonded over it. - I had that one interaction. And then of course bullying him with you. - Yeah, bullying him over the keg stand? - Yeah, which I don't even remember what we did, but I do thought it was kind of funny because I saw him years later and he's the coolest guy ever. So I'm like, obviously, I love Timmy so much. - I love Timmy. - You do Paterson? - You're a big, you're a big TV Paterson. - I love Timmy Paterson to gather too. - That movie must have just fucking struck you hard. - I did. - I did. - Too much talk about Timmy for you to get out of the wall. - Hey guys, chill. - We didn't bully Timmy. I swear, come on the show, please. (laughing) - I have like no, stop talking about that. - Yeah, but I did my first keg stand there and I gotta tell you, I do understand what you mean when you're like afraid to burp because during that much carbonated liquid upside down, especially if you're not cool. - It comes out of nowhere. - You and I talking about fat poisoning recently. - What's fat poisoning? - It's when you literally just have too much fat. Like if you eat a wagyu steak and save the fat and go to like, for example, just drink it, which I don't recommend doing. But if you did, you would get fat poisoning. - So my birthday last year, my mom, my dad, my sister fiance, we watched Kaelin Clark and then we went out and did Japanese A5 wagyu taste in. And they had the option of cooked or raw for the first half of it. So I chose raw, obviously. I'm not gonna be a fucking whimp. - Yeah. - And so they're just giving you chunks of A5 fat and I'm eating it while drinking some poro or a little socky on the side. I ate so much that I began, like, no, no. I think I got that poisoned. - Right, yeah. And you can't throw up. It feels like you're getting the poison in my life. - But that's what I mean. - Also, just what? - You've never thrown up, why? - I've thrown up, the last time I threw up was after the Palace of Fine Arts science fair when I was like eight. And I had like 14 mini corn dogs. And I laid down on the ground, it just came out. I even threw up says. I feel like I could hold down anything. - I can't furp, I can't furp poison in. I've gotten like the flu real bad. - Don't throw it. - I just can't throw it. - Hold it down. - Oh, I think about it all the time though. - Dude, you're kind of a beast. - Yeah, yeah, kind of a beast. Either way though, like that kind of fat poisoning, it feels like the worst possible food sickness because you're like, your guts are like boiling, you're sweating, you feel like you have food sickness, but you can't throw up. - It's like a butter. - It's like a stomach's line and you're like, it's this very, it's this thick butter you can't throw up. - Really? - Yes, same thick. - That's what that on purpose. - No, like some fraternities used to back that they put long cut tobacco on a stick of butter and you had to eat it. And so like you really wanna throw up 'cause you just ate a fucking can of tobacco, but you are also at a stick of butter, so you can't throw up. And I thought about that. Like I tortured it, like oh, this is my nightmare. - That's torture. - But I ate all the cobe beef and then we went to the 4,100. The only beer they had was called pickle beer. - Oh no. - I took one sip and I was like, and I stood over a trash can for like 20 minutes. You were out of town. Thank God. Willy's like, get that guy home. I was like, yeah, it's time for me to go home. - You'd never get sent home. Willy says like, once every eight months. - No, if I had to send you home, I would have something bad. - Something would be really wrong. - So it was a meat fat dude. It wasn't that 14 supporters I had. (laughing) 32 VLs. - Good for me, that's like 16, I know. - That's a light work. - The last time I got food poisoning and I only ever get it from eating one thing. And I was-- - Don't eat it. - Oh well, it's liver. Well, this just stop. It's liver. You know what? I guess I would say any organ kind of makes me sick. Like gripe, like liver, stuff like that. - Idea makes me sick. - Yeah, that's kind of gross. But when I, I think it's the idea too. Like I get in my head about it. I'm like, I'm eating stomach lining. - Did you like stay up all night vomiting? - Yeah, I was actually like deathly ill. - What was it? - It was tripe. I ate tripe from where? - I was in China filming during this time. And they, well, in general, a lot of like traditional Chinese food contains a lot of like-- - How do you pronounce it? - Ofuls? - Ofuls. - Ofuls. - It's a word I've only read. O-F-F-A-L-S. - Yeah, is it Ofuls? - I like tripe. Chinese tripe is very tasty though. - Chinese food is amazing. - But they do also, they eat a lot of Ofuls. And I, when I was just there and I'm, you're at a kind of lazy Susan table and you're just eating around. I didn't ask what I was eating. And I have gotten sick from liver in the past. And so I think I just like ate either tripe liver without thinking and I got pretty sick from it. - Lever King. - That guy is just sick in general. - So cool. - Yeah, sick is cool. - He's like, yeah, liver makes me so giant and strong. And then it just comes out. He's done Starris's entire life. - He's insane. Also, that's like, like that guy is so red in general. Like if you were looking in five years late to liver King. - No, he's like this. Like I know, but I see him and I'm like, that's fucking gnarly, man. You are like, your whole body looks like it has 10 times the amount of blood it should have. - That does scare me. - Like if you hooked him. - You think he has more veins than me. And he's redder. - You know what I mean? - You don't get more veins. - HBB, high blood pressure. - You get more veins. - Huh? - Do veins just grow? - Does everyone have the same amount of veins? - Length. - Probably high-based. - No, but like, is veins a hard-coded number? Like bones? This is the stupidest question I've ever asked, but is this a thing? - No, they don't. Everyone shares some major veins, but the exact number and pattern very dramatically from person to person. - And everyone has the same amount of bones, except ladies. - Men and women have different amount of bones. - That's true. - That is true. - Men and women have different-- - What the hell, guy? - Ladies. - Oh, not like it's a penis thing, no. - No, no, it's the lady bones. - Oh, I didn't even think of that. No. - I was just kidding. - No, like pelvis and she is what you mean. - Yes, or no, it's a rib, 'cause Adam took his own. - That's what they taught us in Catholic school. - I actually, I don't know what you're talking about. - I can look this up too. I don't-- - I don't know. - I know, I know. - I can't be true. - But in Catholic school, I really thought I was taught that, probably. - Okay, you wanna know something. I found interesting when Barbara and I first started dating as we were talking about just like, oh, like school and how you grew up in this. In Hungary, in elementary school, Hungarians also had the school yard rumor that Marilyn Manson removed his ribs to suck his own dick. - Before the internet. - Before the internet, I would not reach to fucking boot a pest. Like, I was like, where do you think it's some guy on the plane tells his friends? - Every school had it. - That is wild 'cause I had it. - But how did it go all the way to Hungary? - I didn't even know who Marilyn Manson was. - Did you know what a pro-chub was? But I knew it was weird. - Yeah, I was like, that guy's weird. - He was like, what? And then I was like, but then-- - You could do that? - You tried. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's tried. - No, no, I could not. - Why did you take gymnasium for five years? Gymnastics. - Gymnastics. - So I can mend it. - Yeah, it's a good bend and suck. - It's also not true. - It's not true. - Marilyn Manson? - Yeah, I know, I don't think so. - I was talking about the bend and suck. - Oh, the bend and suck, yeah. - No, but the Marilyn Manson thing, obviously not true. But it's crazy to me that that school yard rumor-- - It made it all the way out there. - The only two school yard rumors that I had growing up with that and that in the original Pokemon game, Mew was under the truck. - No, no, but there was the actual thing where you went up and down next to the truck. - Oh, yeah. - And you were tossing out? - Missing, no, yeah. - Who figured that out? That's crazy. - Don't know. - And then I would think that they should add-- - I think they should add the Native American guy with the star. - Oh, on the lot of the pop, you had that one too, right? - Yeah, touch you. - You get a free touchy rope pop? - Yeah, that never exists. - I don't think it was true. - Also, where do you go to turn those in? - I'm a drug store. - Let's go, here's all my-- - Here's all my Native American stores. - I remember saving a couple though, and it just didn't take-- - I didn't wear it, obviously, you can't just get new touchy rope pops. - That was good. - Did you ever not bite it? - I was like the owl. - All the center? - Yeah, no, no chance. How many licks does it take, right? Look, there's up. - Someone did it on YouTube, Mr. Beast. - Mr. Beast licked a lollipop on camera for like three hours straight. - We're not shocked, big. - No. - You're gonna love this. It can take studies show. It can take anywhere from 144 licks to 1,000 licks. So someone, it just depends how hard you're licking. - Bro, that's good. - It's also just like the width of your tongue count. - A hundred licks is crazy. You're getting so much off with each lick. - Think about a hundred licks. And think about a bigger one. - Like a fucking troids. - It's crazy. - A hundred licks, dude. You get to the center of that. - You've got a fucking sandpaper tongue, dude. - I know. - The guy just roys. Could you imagine? - No. - One hundred licks? A popsicle you could do in three. - Dude, if you can lick a lollipop town a hundred, you could lick a brick down in a thousand. - I know. - You couldn't lock him away. - Bro, he could tear it through your house. You fucking killed the drywall in that place. - Yeah, lock him up. - We couldn't go through fucking bars. - It's a bronchered sand. - Yeah, it's just like, oh my God. - Dude's crazy, most of the question, man. - Did you ever finish a job breaker? - Job breaker? - Never finish one. - No, 'cause they're actually just not good. - They get gross too. - Yeah, they're too big to pop. - No, no, they're also just not a good candy. - Yeah. - Were you guys warhead guys in your school? - It's scary. - But yeah. - It was like big, it was a big day if I'd have one. 'Cause I remember the black little package. - Yeah, exactly. Well, though, you know that was big. The black little package, the purpleish one. Most spicy one. - Yeah, it's not spicy, but go ahead. - Most sourced. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Back in the day, I think our generation had some pretty sick, like six stuff around school, like the, was it birth spots? The jelly beans from Harry Potter, that were gross. - Like the vomit flavor. - They were the same, though. - Like one would taste like vomit, one would taste like root beer. - Yeah. - Yeah, the colors, I didn't like those. I never, as I'm my friend. - But that's a cool thing for like, like do kids have that shit in their heart? - Yeah, I saw one that the spiciest chip in the world, Charles. - Oh yeah, the singular diet? - What? - Yeah, kid died. - He died. - You said it like you knew, do you kid died? - Yeah. - What do you, it's just like, oh no. - So you imagine died from a cheat, like what the hell? - Dude, you gotta go. - You gotta go. - Yeah, you gotta go. I'm sorry, like. - He's not getting to Val Halas. - Oh no, RIP, because that's like sucks, a kid died, but also like. - He wouldn't die eventually. - Dude, I gotta, I wanna die from this. - Who were thieves? - He wouldn't have made it that far. - But how spicy is the chip? We gotta do it now. - Oh, see, I wouldn't do that, no. - But are you afraid of dying? - Yeah, throwing up. - Pussy. - I'd rather die than throw up. - Truly. - For a little choice. - Okay, so on the sweet life, when we were filming there, there was this one, we had Corey Scully amazing. She was one of our producers, and she had just gotten this new office upstairs, and she was the cool producer. - Yeah. - Now everyone loved her, her and her wife owned a bar outside, like down somewhere in Hollywood, I forget they still do, but when she just got a new office, she had a mini fridge in it, and she would always stock it full of beer. And I remember, I didn't know as a kid. I mean, she's a producer on the Disney Channel set. - Yeah, 'cause that's the work. - She sucks beer. - Dude, things were a lot wilder back then. - Wow, they're wild. - Things were a lot wilder back then. - However, also, we stock beer here. We're drinking it now. - Well, kids, most of the time here. - Yeah, fair. - So there was a period of like two weeks, though, where she'd come into our office, and in the morning, she'd notice that the beers were gone. - How old were you? - I was 16 at the time. - She primed steel and beer age. - Okay, I never knew about them. I still, to this day, so it wasn't me. So Corey was kind of getting weirded out. She was like, is the janitorial staff afterwards coming into my office and looking through my stuff and stealing my beers? I think they were just like, you know, Bud Light, or something. Everybody was here. - But she was like, what's going on? - This happened for like two weeks straight. She eventually-- - She was a couple every night? Like three? - There was like a six pack in there, and then like three would be missing. - Okay. - This sounds like a teenager. - Two weeks in, she pours Hippocac in them and reseals them in. Hippocac. - Oh, it's a bottle of beer. - Yeah. - What's Hippocac? - For Hippocac. - Oh, yeah, yeah. like, well, whoever's gonna do it, I'm gonna fucking catch them 'cause they're gonna be vomiting all over the place. - I'm scared. - Smash two, Friday, filming session, commotions going on upstairs. - It was my dad. - No, you know. (laughing) - Are you fucking kidding me? - My dad was going up and hanging out and being like, "Well, where's the beer fridge?" - Would grab the beer. - He was in, I'm kinda on that side. It's a beer fridge. You just, you didn't realize they were private. My dad was throwing up. On the upper floor of our production office. - Oh shit. - Like, violently, he was like-- - Oh, that's awful. - Dude, it was so funny. - He probably felt bad. - I know, he felt so bad. He was like, "I don't know these were private!" Cory, who was like, "Oh my God, I can't believe "it's the one guy who didn't want this to happen to." 'Cause their friends, she was like, "Why the fuck did you not just ask me to come in here?" He was like, "I thought this was like-- - He could almost sue her, I think. - No, no. - He's too much of a loosey goosey. But it was so funny. And then my brother and I, of course, were just loving. - I mean, that's the fun of eating in the world. - Yeah, it turns out it was my dad the whole time. - It was a nice day. - Yeah, just-- - Watch your kids make some money. - Yeah, he was like, "I'm gonna go buy another porpoise to be here." - Just awesome, I mean. - It's awesome. - Oh man, did you ever steal beer from him? - I have a great story, actually. Cole and I just when we'd like started experimenting with drinking booze, my dad's always been, actually like, kind of a high-end whiskey collector. - Yes. - How old are you at this point? - We are 17. - Okay. - I'm 10. - Good age. - Cole and I, it's like Friday, we're like, "You know what? We just got back from work." - Yeah, time to take the load off. - Yeah, shut up. - Dude, let's kick back with some whiskey. - And we're like, "You know what? You want to try some whiskey?" And Cole's like, "Okay, let's do it." So we go and we grab a bottle from my dad. He's not like hiding it or anything. He's just in the garage. He's got in like some storage area. - Yeah. - And we go in and we grab a bottle and we proceed to get blacked out fucking wrong. - It is an amber off this bottle got wasted. Finish the bottle between the two of us. - Nice bottle, right? - Okay, well listen to this. 6 a.m., I'm being shaken away by my father. He goes, "Son, did you drink the Pappy Van Winkle?" - Oh, and I was like, "I'm not a whiskey." - I was like, "Why?" - That's some good shit. - The whiskey son. - No. - The whiskey. At this point in time, it wasn't actually Pappy. It was like rip Van Winkle or what's the older one? And it was barrel aged. It was like a $3,000 bottle at that time when I was 16. 24 year-aged original run. He goes, "Son, did you drink?" And I was like, "Yeah, a colon I did last night." 'Cause we just left the bottle on the counter. 'Cause we're fucked up. - Yeah, of course. Left or on the counter, he goes, "Son, I'm like, God." - He gets, when he just piss, he's stomping around. - He probably makes it with like Coke. - Well listen, he goes, "Son, he just. " At least just tell me what it tastes like. - No. - I go, "Dad, we drank the whole thing with Diet Coke." - Oh my God. - It sticks in the morning and he walks down. He goes, "God, damn it!" And he walks out of the room and he's so upset. So for Barbara and I's wedding, I've found a bottle. - Oh, that's so nice of you. That's a quick tip. (laughing) (upbeat music) - What do you think the secret is to like raising a good kid? 'Cause I've obviously been thinking a lot about it. And I mean, I hope this doesn't come off sounding like the wrong thing. But I go like, "I'm extra worried about raising a daughter." - Of course. - I think especially in L.A. - Where I hang out. - Where I hang out. - Where I hang out with our buddies and I go, "I would literally, besides you, maybe, hate if I got a kid." - And I still got, maybe, ended up with anyone like you guys. And I go, even though I love them to death, where I go, "It's scary, dude." - Well, you, what do you have a brother who's your dad a lot? - Yeah. - You have your women interactions really low. - Yeah, comparatively to you. - Compared to me, yeah. But you're scared about it. They're more level headed, I think, you know? - They're gonna have just-- - You're gonna be okay, yeah. - I'm my niece, Dorothy. - But your parents were always really good. - Well, I was gonna say that next. - All your siblings and yourself included. Like, you guys are great. - But they're all so whack jobs. And kind of, we moved out of L.A. We never lived in Los Angeles. I, the most time I ever spent here was I'd go into a hotel in Disneyland, you know? So never knew L.A. Only lived in San Fran mostly, London stuff. But, we were so isolated growing up 'cause we moved around so much. So it's like, that's why I think I'm so close. - Did you guys stay at home schooling at all? - No, no, no, no. - What about when you were like-- - Do I come across like a home school kid? - Yeah, a little bit, bro. - What do you mean? You can't throw up. - Yeah. - What do you mean? That's a total home school thing to say on this school. No, I don't know. - It was actually, no. - I just leaned my head down to rock my body. - What the fuck are you talking about? - I had friends. - Yeah, I have to see what you just said. - I had friends. - That's a home school thing. - In my sisters. - Yeah, what the fuck? - No, but even, I mean, we went to ASL, American school, London. And the classes, your class would change every month because it was like business people moving in and out. So it was always like very movable. But, you said the home school thing. The thing I got the most jealous of is because if I'd visited my dad on Potter, I would get to go to the school, what do you call those? - Onset school. - Onset school, which are cool. - It's like the cool school. - Yeah, which is-- - Yeah. - Which, by the way, on Potter just like your-- - You get taught on this like your 14 year olds in like eight-year-old ages, which also I'm sure, like the-- - I was crushing it. - Like the cast schooling on Potter, where you were just in the side of the world. - In the world. - You were in the main hall learning, like what the-- - They put us in a trailer, I remember, but I do think I had the robes at. 'Cause I think it was a, it was Potter too. It was chamber secrets. And I was like, I think I had two days. Eleanor was in like months. And she played-- - So jeez and bums. - She had so jealous, dude. I was a little guy that gave Harry the dirty eye for speaking parcel tongue. So you get that language out of my school. I gave him one of these, I was like-- (laughing) I was boy in study hall number two. - Is that what you were talking about? - And here it comes by, you're talking this freaky language. I go, what the hell? (laughing) But I got to go to school. And the school, which I assume you went to for all of grade school, was the easy school of all time. - High school? - She chose her high school. - So you had a fun, easy high school? - Well, did you ever go to a day of a school or no? - No. - Why? - 100% say I missed the best time to miss in school. Everybody who was in public high school or private in your case. (laughing) - Roasted. - It's close. - The, everyone who's in that came out with some horror stories. - Really? - Yeah, dude. I mean, I was told like the gnarliest time for kids. - I had the worst acne. - Did you? - You don't have it? You don't have it. - Only up here. And I like long here, so my hair would cover it. And so I was like, and my mom said, "Oh, it's not that bad, Fred." And you know, I go to the doctor with a fever. He goes, like, he lifts up, he goes, "Whoa!" (laughing) - That killed me for three years. - Yeah. - I didn't call you to a girl ever. - By the way, that's like, doctors shouldn't do that. - They had that, he should be a vet. - Yeah. (laughing) - That's a guy that you demote, the vet. - The night shift for you, dude. - But that kind of stuff you did miss in high school was exactly the, I went to prom junior year and I had like, again, it's always acne for some reason. And I, so at the night before I go, "Oh, Eleanor uses proactive." So you know what that is? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - The acne lotion. So I'm like, "Well, it says to do it once. If I do it nine times tonight, I'm gonna look." - You dry yourself out, dude. - Oh, dude, I came out looking like, like, the Barlow's carloft in the mommy. You know what I'm saying? The dryest skin of all time, zits everywhere. And I had to go with Willie's sister's friend who I'd never even met 'cause I couldn't get a date. - Yeah, dude. - And she's like, "Oh, oh, hello." - You look like a sanded fingernail, right? - Terrible, it's like a strong stonk. - Yeah, that's gross. - Senior prom, I ended the night with a nice high five with my date, which was very embarrassing at school the next day. - What were you expecting to do? - Oh, dude. (laughing) - At least a hug, no chance. Sorry, sorry pimple face. - Yeah, pimple face Brandon. - That's poor guy. - As it came in at 4-11. - I'm six foot down. - I didn't grow up. - Until I was 18. - I know. - So, I know. - Huh? - 'Cause now I didn't. - 'Cause now they're very similar. (laughing) But maybe you did miss the perfect time. - And then you didn't say why you? - Yeah. - Looking cool as hell. But also because I didn't go to high school during that time, all of the best things about me and all of the worst things about me were reinforced. - Right. - So the things I thought were really cool, which were just empirically not, which would have weeded themselves out in high school. I was still doing, and when I entered into college, people are like, what the fuck's that about? Also, Laura Torrance was our set teacher for all of high school, who I love like a grandmother. - Of course. - She's the best human being ever. Like there's three different ways of getting taught. You get like teacher professor and then crazy old granny who like just like talks at you. That was Laura Torrance, who we affectionately called Sissy. She's just the best. - Did you get any other classmates or is it just you and Cole? - Occasionally, depending on who was working on the episode. - So most days, it's just you two. - Yeah, wow. - Yeah. - That's a lot of time. - Yeah. - And it was a lot of reading. We would read a lot. And it was a lot of novels, fiction, nonfiction. We did predominantly that. We went through like, I forgot with the exactly, it was called Laurel Springs High School was like the program. And they had a full graduation. And we went to the thing, yeah. - Did you go to work? - And there's other like kids. - There's other acting kids. - I think they did it in like, it wasn't big, sir. It was, what's your name? - Santa Barbara. - Big man. - Big man, that's not even how you say that. Big miss. - Big man. - So we went to Santa Barbara, did the whole thing. Cole gave this killer speech. - Was he the valvictorian? - No, actually. - No. - No, that was some, I forgot which kid that was. Big nerd dude Get this guy out of here But yeah, we did the whole thing and I still to this day. I still think it was like a great, but she She called me first year of college. Yeah, and first year of college. I made Dean's list and I still I graduate of four point out nice video game design. Yeah, it wasn't in Classes. Yeah, but comps. I yeah, no, that's hard pretty hard So she called me first year Laura Torrance. Is he she called me she goes, Dylan. Oh My god, you made the Dean's list. No, I was like you check it out my dad center. Oh, that's so nice And she goes you mean I can't believe it. Yeah, and I was like, what do you mean she goes? Oh, she was like you're a lost cause I mean, I couldn't believe it. Frankly, you fell asleep like every other I flubbed your grades I straight up I had to if you didn't you wouldn't have graduated and to hear that you're succeeding so well now She's like I always believed in you. I knew that you could do it But I just didn't think you do it publicly And I was like, I love you. That's the funniest thing I've ever heard like I'm doing great. He didn't really well. I'm doing great Thank you, and that was the last she talked to me about school work That's so funny, but I mean she lady on your corner though. I was the perfect example of a kid who in public school Yeah, but unless I had some sort of yeah, you might have gone weird. I could have been so bad Dude, I was already like kind of a jerk in school. You're smoking weed a bit Home life kind of sucked at that time, and I was like you're I was really mean and I just and I was failing everything Yeah, my best friend at the school Shaparell was our janitor and because I was not a good look because dude I was literally I was in the principal's office every day and I would get Sent to do literal hard labor every day and the janitor me got super closing He was like all right, you're back again, dude. Go clean the trail. Are you not doing your homework? Not doing my homework speaking up in class bullying like I was a your bully. Yeah, it was not a nice kid I'm a nice kid and it was a lot of my home life for sure. Yeah, but like Cole said this on a podcast once he was like Yeah, Dylan was a bullying school. It was on caller daddy. Yeah, and I can't believe he'd say that about his brother Like Cole was right like I was legitimately not a nice guy. You swirly kids or what? No, but I was physically violent Yeah, physically violent. Yeah, like I'd be kids up and stuff and got in place. Okay. What are they like Stuart little? Yeah, I know Can you beat up this Stuart little get out of your mouth? I don't think I ever was beat up or no, I called the kids. I was I was mean to yeah years later and apologized Do they take it well? No, dude of course not. There were still kids. I feel like If I was to be bullied it would be nice to be bullied by a guy on the sweet life in Zack and Cody No, it's way cooler story that like oh, maybe it's worse. Yeah, I see him every day. He's still four or five Like he's like not like a tall guy. I would never have paid you for a bully either. No, I was not well Maybe it's good. You didn't go to high school. Probably I would have gotten the crap kicked out of me for the older kids But I remember Yeah, I remember being like in a really mean a mean kid Which is why it's funny because I you know this is a contentious take But I think about like the bullying stuff and all of the anti-bullying stuff which I agree with like all the campaigns that are anti-bullying They're never talking about fixing the problem at the root Which is like check on the bullies. Yeah check on these kids to see if they're in a bad situation Because they're only lashing out. They're not really as conscious as you're making them out to see now when they're in high school It's getting to be a different story. Oh great. They don't know what I think but in middle school You're talking about bullying on a school yard and you're like punish the bullies and like no tolerance and all this But you go like these are kids who are experiencing shit and just reflecting it They're not like coming from you know a bubble and doing this. Yeah, something's something's pushing you aside and no So I mean that's by it. That's my weird thought about that But I go I'm glad I got out of that because now that I well you weren't a bully then why you know I wasn't I also wasn't a bully in the homeschool. I know so it was just eighth grade your hormones were kicking it Dude, yeah, it's just yeah, yeah, he was rising He had to bring out so rise and dude. I hope so Did you ever feel like you had more power in hotels growing up? Like when you walked in there, you're like I'm on the show about hotels like Like like we were a lot of pressure for me. Yeah, no like because you're on set every day of a hotel Yeah, it's like if Clutee was walk around like an ER, you know It's like you probably know you'd be like down. I know what that does that does that does you don't think you're an expert on hotels? No, I mean it was I was really hoping you felt that it was a soundstage. It was a soundstage Yeah, but you must felt more comfortable. I will say though the amount of people Yeah, so I go but I don't know if I've told this story on the pod yet or not But I go back to Boston to film this movie about three or four years ago when we under fire. Yeah. I don't know Aftermath after wrath the Disney show was set in Boston and they actually used an exterior shot of a hotel that actually existed I had been to Boston once in my life for one day Previously to this point filming I go into Boston. I'm hanging out. I'm like getting the lay of the land 30 people come up to me and go bro. Welcome back. Oh, they thought you're like you're Inside of Boston and I didn't correct the hotel didn't correct a single one of course I was like it's downtown. It's majorly in the center of Boston. Oh, Dan a bunch of people were like Yeah, you're just a hometown hero here, and I was like I bet I mean I wouldn't it's like What do you call family company? Full house full house. Yeah. Yeah, San Fran San Fran. Yeah, but they shot now. I think of course everyone goes by those houses the pain of ladies. Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure. Yeah, cuz that with those exterior those were real exterior. Yeah, and they're still there It's one of the biggest houses, you know, I'm sure there's a whole tourism thing devoted to that So now that you're how many months out of the wedding? What's the new thing on the docket? What did you get like what's on your attack list this week? Are you a song list song list? Yeah, so we have a band and you have to choose they tell us choose songs not to do As opposed to what you want. That's way harder. It would know. It's actually easier because you want you want to get rid of a lot of the ballots, right? You want to slow songs, you know, you don't know if they give you a list of songs. I really imagine a band that plays every song. No, yeah I was like oh my god. They give you like a list. You say like the nose. Yeah, is Mr. Brightside on your list? That's a hard no What? Mr. Brightside's off. These are the controversial ones. Brightside gone. Sweet Caroline gone uh What else is off that people like so your wedding? She's not gonna be fun What the fuck you talking about? I'm getting the good. No, I have the good songs. I always are back in town. Obviously, okay Okay, it's my it's it's my walking down the aisle song No, it's like I live like a sympathy. A sympathy, sympathy, symphony, symphony Um as we walk down like the string quartet, right? And so I Was very excited. She's gonna do the classic, you know bridal song. Yeah Um, and she's like okay, you can choose like a nice song for everyone sitting down And I like sent over this audio and it's called like I think I might have changed the name. I don't think so But it's called honor him Did I tell you this? I mean? Oh, yeah, and then she listens to she's like oh, it's beautiful But little does she know now she might it's just a song that plays when Maximus has put his hands in the wheat This fucking love gladiator so much Don't get walked down to the gladiator song by the way, I think that song and I'm like while I walk in my kill like this On top of seeing you getting married which will make me cry that song, but that song I think is weirdly like Pavlovian I mean I cry every single time I watch gladiator every time I see that scene Particularly and hear that music. I will shed a tear. I'll see you get my friend every not yet You're gonna know the coolest people inside there because people who speak well, that's what it's a good hand out Is a good it's a good witness test it's allowed to stay for the rest of the wedding Hand out the names a little weird though if they know it's called honor him. It's about me Don't have to honor me. I just like gladiator. Wait, wait. Grimmsman should have weed. Well, there's no Grimmsman So yeah sadly cool guy should have wheat cool So you have to brush past you know the guys who were suspiciously got ready with me should have wheat It was my choice not to have Grimmsman to go over it because I thought it's a popularity contest that people would get their feelings It is a my I don't want to be mean. Yes, exactly. It's a my space topic I've been a Groove's been in more than eight people and I you know would like to return the favor. You are I think the one person I know who could not have Grimmsman without upsetting I'm setting on a fucking four to five people. Yeah Yeah, I'm setting a lot of people because you've been to more weddings than any human I know and you've been a Grimmsman a more wedding than any human I know I Would hope you would make the list, but it would make the next podcast hard after the wedding if you didn't so mean So I mean, I'm out there holding weed If you show up to the wedding and they were our Grimmsman Oh that would make my day calls up there. Oh, yes Good dad then I know it's a bit. Yes. Do you have Just Lexia at all Never got tested. I was in the I think it's like an STD test like I think like you just read So clear on both you're the one guy you'd never needed to get tested for an STD They were like you don't have one the um never did the ADHD But my mom sent me sometimes Instagram Reels about that ADHD in adults is a superpower. I go mom Yeah, what do you what do you call it say that? I mean, she's like this from my mouth. Yeah, so we're brining check this out It's a superpower And if anyone ever calls something to superpower, it is not a superpower. - No, no, no. - It's a debilitating, it's terrible, yeah. They're like, wow, I can't believe- - Second, someone's nice to me. I'm like, oh, so I stink. - Yeah, I just want to remind you of someone that feels like, actually a superpower. I was like, no, it's not. - Although I did read a fact about red-headed people. - It's gonna be about the pain. - Yeah, no, well, no, the immunity to electric damage. - Really? - You are more immune to electric damage or more susceptible to-- - You've leading a Pokemon card? - It sounds like it, right? - I mean, you do electric, like if I was an electrician. - So you would have more of like over the years of any electricians? - You wanna know what I really think it is? You're gonna hate this. - In, typically in mythology, before obviously Marvel, Thor was always depicted with red hair. - Yeah. - And he's the god of thunder and lightning. - So you just think this? - I think you just descend it all from Thor and you have a little bit of an immunity to it. - I have Thor's blood in me? - Yeah, I think so, that's what I said. - That's what I said, dude. - But you're more susceptible to heat. So be careful, like-- - I just was sweating. - No. - Sonora, dude. - Sonora, bad place for Brennan. - I know. - Yeah. - Most places are. (upbeat music) - So I have a home gym, right? And when I work out in my home gym, it's awesome. I love to work out in the home gym 'cause it's two seconds up the stairs and I can jump in, but I work out way harder when I'm in a gym. - When people can watch you? - Because by osmosis. No, it's not watching things. It's just by seeing other people working hard and being around. - What are you guys doing? - Yeah, watching guys get sweaty. - And it's just me? - Watching guys get progressively hairier and it makes me go, I can get hairier. - Yeah, you get hairier while you live. - I think it does work like that. Every time I pump, I don't think it's ever worked out in a gym in my life. - We know. - Yeah, we know that. - I wouldn't do a climbing gym for a bit. I really enjoyed that. - When you took on the climbing thing, I was like, this is-- - And I got good at it. I was trying to support you. - I know, I enjoyed it a lot. - And then Brit stopped going and then I just didn't want to go along. - So Brit got into climbing and he went along. - She was into climbing initially. And then she was filming a video after our third date and I have the video, it's very funny. And she's very good at climbing. She climbs up to the very top and then jumps for one because she's trying to show off for her man and misses and she falls all the way down. She broke her shoulder and then she crawls towards the camera like a found footage horror movie. And like presses off. - Oh, are you so neat? - Yes, yes. But she wouldn't show it to me for the longest time. - That's so neat. - She'd go to the hospital? I go, Brit, it kind of looks like you're trying to show good climb for me. Three dates in. I was like, I must've been doing something, right? - Yeah. - I didn't realize girls in love did the same thing. - That's exactly dangerous. - I'm just gonna be like, I'm gonna show it to you. - She's like, it's so embarrassing. I'm like, oh, this is the sickest video I ever seen. - I love it. - Yeah, literally she knew that's the best video she could have made for you. - Oh my God. - You were part of the generation that was like lively, gourd generation. - We're the same generation. - Yeah, but I wasn't on that scene. I can't always scared me. The same way that you have an aversion to like throwing up. - Yeah. - I have an aversion to seeing like gourd in general. - Oh, yeah. - But there was a lot of our generation. - I mean, I do, but it fascinates me. I can't look away. - Yeah, I know, but I know, like I think- - I saw the original beheading as a kid accidentally. - Yeah. - And, you know, it just kind of grows from there. And then I have some friends. We look at videos. - Yeah, I know. - No, but everybody- - No, I know you're joking, but at the same time, you're kind of not joking, because I remember at some point, we had like a big friend group at like 15, and the same way we're like two girls, one cup came out. And we was like, watch this. - Yeah, I didn't watch that. - I didn't watch that. - But there were groups of people also like, watch the pain Olympics. - Yeah. - Or like watch this. - The pain Olympics was fake. - It was fake. - Yeah, not really. - I really watched two girls. - I watched people dying. - It's all just watching. - I just watched proof. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, it's trying to draw the line, man. - So people can die with no proof. - Yes. - Totally. (laughing) - Pupu, off-limits. - Off-limits. - It's die-die on the table. - Yeah. - Okay. - Sadly. - Kids don't do that anymore, do they? - Watch what? Deathfist? - It's like, "Gor shit?" - Yeah, deathfist. No, I think there's a difference here. You're talking "Gor," and there's just deathfist. I mean, you know, most wars are shot in four days now. So you can see the watch front line stuff, which I find interesting. - They're like, "Drone shits." - Oh, dude, I hate the drone stuff. - Do that video of the guy running away. - No, the guy in horseback. - Oh, shit, I didn't run like that. - That was like true. - But again, I had to watch, you know? - That actually is like weirdly, that's like, that's a piece of art. Watching like a horseman running away from a drone. - Is it an apt metaphor for today? (laughing) - Thanks for watching. (laughing) - It's like, that's mortifying, that's sucks. It's just a crazy idea that I'm saying. - For a horse, just like, we've gotten to the point now where horses just shouldn't be involved in war anymore. - Right? - I think I was supposed to be at the last charging world war two. - I think yeah. - We got gun down with a gallon. - We're not 100 years past horses. - Uh-huh. Except 12 strong with Chris, how's the movie? - Yeah, pretty sick. - Yeah, so Iraq War, they rode horses, shot a lot of deaths. - Horses are sick in war. I just want to put that out there. They are really cool in war. - But they shouldn't be there. - They're sad too. - Yeah, very sad. - But cool as hell. - Cool as hell. - Dude, when the Dodgers riots happened and like, the Dodgers won this last year, up and down, up and down sunset, cops on horseback. - Yeah. - Pretty sick. - I know. - But when you're standing below a cop on horseback, you go, I now realize why this was so effective in war. - Of course, they're, 'cause they're just terrifying. - Yeah, they're huge. - They're terrifying. - And by the way, they're picking the biggest horses. - They are banning, thank God, in Manhattan. - Oh, the carriage rides? - Yes, through the park. - Yeah, those guys made me so sad last time I walked by. - I mean, those are depressed horses. - Yeah. - They don't even whip their tail around. - And they're like passed down with ground and shit. - No, it's dark, dude. - It's dark. - It's dark. You want horses used to be fun. - Hopefully, I heard they ban 'em starting in August. So when we go out for our billboard in July, we'll take one last ride. (laughing) - Dude, we should call it the last ride. (laughing) - And then we can, yeah. - And then we'll buy the horse. - Dude. - And then horse sitting in the back. - Yeah, right here. - Oh. (laughing) - That's not a horse. - Where? - From where? - Do you think, I mean, I'm sure, by the way, like a horse who's been put through the ringer like that, he'd probably be pretty lit to sit back there and chill and drink beer with us. - Oh, for sure. - Horses get fucked up. - Beer for my horse is Toby Keith. - There's a song about that. - Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whiskey for my man and beer for my horse is. - So they must have-- - That's gotta be on the list, the weighing list. - Well, that's on the winning list. - Yeah, Brittany will love that one. (laughing) - Dude, my dad told the story of when he was in the Navy. - Mm-hmm. - That they docked somewhere and there was a donkey on the island that they docked on. - No, this sounds bad. - And they were all sitting down as a place with coconut crabs and I don't know where that is. - A merely airhurt famously was eaten by coconut crabs. - Really? - That's the new theory, yeah. - I wonder what that coconut crab tasted like. - No, no, they ate her. - Yeah, but I wonder-- - Oh yeah, did you eat him? - Okay, yeah. - Yeah, circle alive. - Interesting. Anyway, so they docked on the island and they were like, "Whoa, these fucking crabs are crazy." In the middle of the night, they're sitting around a campfire just like there's a bunch of-- - They're huge. - The coconut crusts. - They're huge. - They're like terrifying. He said they were on their tents. They were all terrified. But in the middle of the night, they're sitting at this campfire drinkin' booze and a donkey walks up out of the darkness into the campfire and obviously the soldiers in the, or the Navy Marines were just fucking drunk. - They were like, "Yeah, donkey." - Seeing a donkey anytime is pretty cool. - Yeah, I love donkey's. - Donkey's rad, funny horses. - Yeah, they're just silly horses, dude. Silly horse walks up into the light and they're like, "Try some beer." Gave him some beer. Donkey got down. - Do you like it? - Donkey was slugging him back. Okay, slugging him back. To the point where my dad tells the story very affectionately, the donkey started to wobble. - Wow, wow, wow. - So fucked up. - He put them on the fence. - Fell in the fire and all the soldiers jumped up as fast as he pushed him up and got him out of the fire before he was injured at all. - After they poisoned their own sacrament. Like they burned themselves. They burned their hair off. They got burns. My dad has a burn on his arm. He's like, "From the donkey." - From the donkey, from the fire donkey. - And I was like, "Dude, that's the sickest thing." - You got to get that tattooed. I told them I was like, "Get the donkey tattooed." - Oh, that would be cool. - It's a cool, on the, on the burn itself. - Navy donkey tattooed. - Did the COVID aircrafts come back now? - No, they were fucking freaking out so much. - They were freaking out. - Yeah, they're like, "Disp it." I know, but yeah, alcoholic donkeys, they drink. When Colin and I were growing up, there was a place near us that had a horse farm and an apple tree on it. And every fall, the apple trees would fall. Or the apples would fall. And they'd ferment on the ground so you'd wait. And the horses would eat them. - And they'd get drunk. - And they would get fucked up. - Yeah. - And they are not nice drunks. - They are violent. - You mean? - They're violent and sexual. - And very scary? - Would they be good at calling you? - Do they? (laughing) - No, they would like, "Nay!" And they would fight and they'd fuck. And Colin, I were terrified of horses for years. - Well, God, yeah, how you and Colin have turned into horses. That's what you do when you drink. (laughing) - Me, me, but true. - Yeah, maybe the horses knew all along. - They knew, man. Well, now we have a couple months to the kid comes. - I know. - I mean, it's really starting to set in, I think. - Yeah. - Everything that you were like, 'cause Barbara and I looked at each other at one point and we're like, "Should we be like you?" - I'm thinking more about this and that, and this and that, and this and that. And when that conversation comes up, then you both kind of look at each other and you go like, "Oh, there's a lot to think about in you before it happens." - Toys. - Toys. Strollers. there's baby cages, fucking maps on the ground. - The name's tough. - Babyproofing the house, which actually sounds kind of fun. There's a very funny video game that was released where it's a 1v1. Oh, I saw that game where one person plays the dad trying to babyproof the house and the other person plays the baby trying to kill himself. And it is a very weird game, but you're looking for anything as fast as you're trying to speed run committing suicide as a baby. And the dad's trying to make sure he can account for anything that you could possibly do. - And that's gonna be a real life for the next four years. - I think, honestly, if I play that a lot, I can probably figure it out. - I was with Dorothy, my niece, for the last four days. My back hurts. I got like 20,000 steps a day. I'm tired. You're fucked. (all laughing) - That's cheers. - Well, hey. Few more months for each of us. - I know. - And then once more into the breach. - I know. And we're gonna have a fucking billboard and Times Square very soon. - That's crazy, I'm so excited. I'll see you there, dude. - I'll see you there. - I'll see you. (all laughing) - Good job, guys.