How We Change: Community | Practicing the Way Vision Series E7 (Re-release)

[MUSIC PLAYING] Hello and welcome to the John Markoma Tetans podcast. My name is Jinger Dawson and I'm your host. Each week, we feature Tetans by John Mark or other voices in the formation space. And it's great to have you with us. As we continue our conversation about the process of transformation, we come to the next piece of our work in theory of change, community. John Mark illustrates that community, though often messy and imperfect, it's a space where transformation happens. Exposes our shadow side, offers healing, fosters joy, and ultimately helps us become people of life. Here's John Mark. [MUSIC PLAYING] We're in a series right now on practicing the way of Jesus. A lot has changed over the last week. But one thing has not. We are still very much a church built around the idea of following Jesus. And for us, that means living into three goals. Say this out loud with me. One is to be with Jesus. Two is to become like Jesus. And three is to do what He did. So we've been asking this question, how do we change? Because most of us aren't there now. How are we in the language of the New Testament transformed? And the short answer is it's not exactly how a lot of us think. We've been working through our spiritual formation paradigm, which kind of years of teaching in the making. We covered teaching and practice over the last couple of weeks. If you're not here, please go back and listen to the podcast. We're on I think week seven. Each one builds on the next. And now up on the docker, we're ready to get into community. And we'll actually camp out here for a few weeks, because community is so vital in how we change, how we are transformed, to experience this kind of life to the full. Mother Teresa said that loneliness is the leprosy of the modern world. Over the last 10 years-- and I'm sure you've seen this in survey after survey-- actually in parallel with the rise of social media, the number of people that mark lonely or don't have somebody to connect with or a close friendship or family member has skyrocketed all through our nation. This is easy to miss in the digital age. We have Facebook, and Instagram, and Twitter, and email, and text messaging, and FaceTime. We're more connected than ever, but connectivity is not the same thing as community. Sherry Terkel-- I'm not sure if you're familiar with her work. She's a sociologist and psychologist out of MIT. She's really the leading expert in the world on what technology, in particular, the digital age, is doing to the human condition. We're writing about it for three decades now. Her most recent book, "Alone Together" is so disturbing, don't read it. You'll freak out. But she writes this, we are lonely, but fearful of intimacy. Digital connections may offer the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship. Our networked life allows us to hide from each other, even as we are tethered to each other. We would rather text than talk. When technology engineers intimacy, relationships can be reduced to mere connections. And then easily, connection becomes redefined as intimacy. Put otherwise, cyber-intimacies slide into cyber-solitudes. So loneliness is this deep ache, this pang at the heart of our culture, and at the same time, community, in spite of all of our tech. Community is more elusive than ever before. So let's have a look at the way of Jesus as we move forward. Matthew chapter 4, look down at verse 18. As Jesus was walking beside the sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew, they were casting a net into the lake for they were fishermen. Come, follow me, or that can be translated to become my apprentice or my disciple, Jesus said. And I will send you out to fish for people. And at once, they'd left their nets right there and followed him. Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James, son of Zebedee, and his brother, John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee preparing their nets, Jesus called them, and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him. Did Jesus call one disciple? No, he called Peter, and Andrew, and James, and John, and he's just getting started. Now these are good, Torah-observant Jewish boys up in the Galilee, which was the hotspot for discipleship to rabbi in 1st century Israel. But Jesus didn't just call the religious, turn over to Matthew 9. We read this a few weeks ago, but let's just take one more look at it, Matthew 9, verse 9. As Jesus went on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the tax collector's booth. Follow me or become my disciple, he told him, and Matthew got up and followed him, same story. While Jesus was having dinner at Matthew's house, many tax collectors and sinners came and ate with him in his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, kind of the uptight religious people, they asked his disciples, why does your teacher, you're rabbi, eat with tax collectors and sinners? On hearing this, Jesus said, it's not the healthy you need a doctor, but those who are ill, go and learn what this means. I desire mercy, not sacrifice, for I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners. How rad is Jesus, by the way? Can we all agree on that? He's pretty awesome. Matthew in this story is a tax collector, he's a Benedict Arnold, if you know anything about that, cultural climate, a Jew working for the Roman Empire, the oppressor over the oppressed, not surprisingly, his circle of friends is made up of other tax collectors and sinners that was a term in the first century for non-observant or non-religious Jewish men and women. So there's quite a bit of variety in Jesus' new little community. Turn over to Matthew chapter 10, just one page to the right, look at verse 1. Jesus called his 12 disciples to him, and he gave them authority to dry that impure spirits and to heal every disease and illness. These are the names of the 12 apostles. So Jesus has more than 12 disciples, hundreds, if not thousands, men and women. But here's his inner circle, his 12 apostles. First Simon, who's called Peter and his brother Andrew, James son of Zebedee and his brother John, read about those guys, Philip and Bartholomew, Thomas and Matthew, the tax collector, James son of Alfaes and Thaddeus, Simon the zealot, and Judas is scared who betrayed him. Interesting, only two men get a descriptor. One is a guy we already know. The other is Simon the zealot. This guy we don't really know anything about, don't read about before or after. What's going on here? Well, this is a wide range of people. As we said, Matthew's a tax collector. He worked for Rome. Simon we read though, was a zealot. That was a violent, insurgent sect of 1st century Jews who used guerrilla tactics to fight Rome. They were called Sicaria in Hebrew. It was like the recent movie from last year with Emily Blunter, whatever was named after this. It's a phrase meaning dagger men, because they would hide a dagger in their cloak, and they would sneak up to a Roman military officer and they would slit his throat and then disappear back into the crowd. So can you imagine like Matthew and Simon in the same little Bible study group? Like just imagine like a make America great again, rural, giant truck, gun in the back, like all that stereotype. Next to like Aaron Sorkin or Michael Moore, some Hollywood leftist elite. Like what do you think it means Michael? I don't know, what do you think it means Robert? Like can you imagine that in the little small group Bible study? Do you think there would have been tension? Do you think they would have had words? Do you think politics would have come up? Do you think politics would have come up? Yes, do you think it would have gone well? No, absolutely not. So Jesus puts together this little community from across the spectrum, and it's not just the sociopolitical thing. You have personality clash, you have Peter, the type A loud, and then you have Thomas, the kind of introspective, introverted, blogger, cynic type, or whatever. And then you have James and John who are called in another passage, the Sons of Thunder, that was Jesus nickname. That's not a compliment just to clarify when it's Jesus. That's not, you don't want to be called Sons of Thunder. These men were fiery like there's one story. Jesus called down fire from heaven and eat the village alive. And Jesus is like, thank you, miss the sermon on the Mount. Were you not taking notes on the love journey part? I think you missed that, bro. No, bro, I doubt Jesus said bro. But whatever. And then you have them next to Judas, cold, analytical, calculating, all of that. My point is, this sounds so idealized, all this diversity and brat. But the reality was, I doubt they had an easy time getting along. And if you ever read the Gospels, you know that's true. Here's one example. Turn over to Matthew chapter 20. Matthew chapter 20. Most of you will know this story, verse 20. "Then the mother of Zebedee's sons came to Jesus with her sons, kneeling down and asked a favor of him. What is it you want?" he asked. She said, "Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left and your kingdom." You don't know what you're asking. Jesus said to them, "Can you drink the cup I'm going to drink?" That's a metaphor for his coming death. We can, they answered. Jesus said, "Bong answer, bro, you will indeed drink from my cup, but to sit at my right or left is not from me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by my father." Now, when the ten heard about this, they were indignant. So, I mean, imagine the story. You have the sons of thunder behind mommy. Not so sons of thunder now, by the way. And mommy is asking essentially, "Hey Jesus, when you come into your kingdom, make James your vice president and John your secretary of state," or whatever. And when the other disciples, the other ten hear about that, they are indignant. That's Bible for really angry and ticked off. They go on a Facebook rant about, you know, James and John, the sons of thunder, whatever, they go off. And you would be too. The selfish ambition, jealousy, gossip, infighting, they go behind the other guys' backs and mommy is involved. Like, all of that, but is Jesus surprised? No, look at 25. Jesus called them together and he said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lorded over them and their high officials exercised authority over them." It's a great line, but for an hour, by the way. Not so with you, instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant. And whoever wants to be first must be your slave. Just as the son of man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. Once again, Jesus is just absolutely amazing. So Jesus goes off on this teaching about the upside-down nature of the way of Jesus and the kingdom of God. For now, all I want you to see is this pattern. There is the ideal of community. Then there is the messy reality of community. And discipleship happens in the space in between. We see this exact same pattern, play out in the New Testament. Turn over to Acts chapter 2. I don't know, a quarter of an inch or so to the right. Acts chapter 2. If you've ever read the New Testament, you will recognize this story. It's right after the coming of the Holy Spirit to create what we now call the church. We read this snapshot or summary of the first church. Chapter 2, verse 42. They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to fellowship. It's coignity and Greek. It can be translated fellowship or deep relationships or partnership as a way to translate it or really in today's language community. Everyone to the breaking of bread, to eating together around the table and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe at the many wonders and signs performed by the apostles. All the believers were together, had everything in common. They sold property and possessions to give to anybody you had need. Every day, they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes. So thousands of people, the temple courts and then in homes, praising God and enjoying the favor of all the people. The Lord added to their number daily, those who were being saved. All sorts of people coming to faith. Turn the page. Here's another snapshot, exact same church. Chapter 4, verse 32. All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. Hey, you need to make rent, you need to car, you need to house great here. With great power, the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God's grace was so powerfully at work in them all. Here's the sign of it, justice. There was no needy person among them. For from time to time, those who own land and sold houses sold them, brought the money from the sale and put it at the apostles' feet and it was distributed to anyone who had need. Now, this sounds amazing, right? It's hard, at least for me. I'm an idealist, but it's hard for me not to read this with at least a ping of nostalgia. Like, oh, so the church was so much better back then. But just keep reading. Chapter 5, verse 1, exact same church. Here's another story. Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife, Safira, also sold a piece of property. With his wife's full knowledge, he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles' feet. Then Peter said, "Ananias, how is it that Satan "has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit?" You know, Peter, he's just so gentle. And I've kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land, didn't it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn't the money, it was all yours. What made you think of doing such a thing? You've not just lied to human beings, but to God. When Ananias heard this, he fell down and died. And great fear seized all who heard what had happened. Yeah, then some young men came forward, wrapped up his body and carried him out and buried him. Man, I just really wish our church was like the early church. (congregation laughing) Are you sure? Usures, we have somebody who lied and during prayer response, they're dead. Would you take him out and bury him real fast for us? Great. Yeah, I'm not sure you really wish our church was like the early church. My point is, even this church, that was brand new, Holy Spirit, wind at the back, Peter and the disciples are in charge of the whole thing. Still, it's not all, it's cracked up to be. Again, you have a gap between the ideal of community and the messy reality of community and discipleship happens in the space in between. But this tension between the ideal and that liminal space that we live in, between that and the messy reality, it's hard for a lot of people. Have a look at this from John Beyer, the founder of La Arche, a famous community in Switzerland and later around the world, he writes this, "Almost everyone finds their early days "in a community ideal. "It all seems perfect. "They feel they are surrounded by saints, heroes, "wrought the least, most exceptional people "who are everything they want to be themselves "and then comes the let down." The greater their idealization of the community at the start, the greater the disenchantment. If people managed to get through the second period, they come to a third phase, that of realization and true commitment. They no longer see other members of the community as saints or devils, but as people. Each with a mixture of good and bad, darkness and light, each growing and each with their own hope. The community is neither heaven nor hell, but planted firmly on earth and they are ready to walk in it and with it. They accept the community and the other members as they are. They are confident that together they can grow towards something more beautiful. So, before we go home tonight, here's a few thoughts, I think five or six, I think five, to be exact. On how you and I can grow as our community, as our church, into something more beautiful. First is this, if you're taking notes, go ahead and write this down. First, community is non-optional for discipleship to Jesus. Jesus did not have a disciple, he had disciples. You never once read about Jesus in Peter. You read about Jesus, Peter, James and John, or Jesus in the 12, or Jesus in the 70, and Jesus as hundreds, or Jesus and thousands, all at Jesus feet. You can't follow Jesus alone, you just can't. You can't separate your discipleship to Jesus from involvement in a community specifically in the church because the two go together. To borrow from another metaphor, in the New Testament there are two dominant metaphors for what it means to be the people of God. One is that you are an apprentice, or a disciple, or a follower of Jesus, the rabbi. And the other is that we are a delfoss as the word used in Greek. It means sibling, brother, sister, we're family. And God is our father, and we have become family. Those of you that read Galatians this last week in the read through the Bible, we read all about how we were adopted into the father's family. I think about my daughter, who I don't call my adopted daughter, but if she's black and she did not come from me, she's from Uganda. And I think about her when she was adopted into my family, at the same moment she became my daughter, she became Jude and Moses sister, which was kind of a bummer for her. But, no, I'm kidding, they are great older brothers. And she can't separate her relationship with me from her relationship to Jude and Moses and Tammy and Grandma and Grandpa and Uncle and our community. It's all wrapped up together because we're family. In the same way, we can't be in relationship with God the father, but not a part of the father's family, or what in the New Testament is called the church. This is so hard, I think, for a lot of people to swallow in our hyper individualized culture, particular in Oregon, Portland, end of the Oregon Trail. Then you have like, we're mecca for the spiritual, but not religious, kind of crowd, ethos. And then even if you grew up in the church, you have this strict kind of me in Jesus, pious strain that goes back hundreds of years in America. You know, a recent nationwide survey done by Barna, which is like one of the top think tanks for Christian think tanks in our nation, did this huge study on discipleship in the church in America, and it was interesting. 38% of people in this survey, and it was by far the largest category, I think there were four categories, it was by far the largest. When asked, what is your preferred method of discipleship? Mark the box that said, quote, on my own. So how do most people want to follow Jesus? It was like with a mentor, with the community, like 38%, the largest category was just me and Jesus, we're good, thank you very much. Me and Jesus, the podcast, whatever, I'm okay. But it doesn't work that way. I just been on this Ronald Rollhizer trip lately, reading a ton of his stuff. I love this, I read it a few days ago. Part of the very essence of Christianity is to be together in a concrete community, with all the real human faults that are there and the tensions that this will bring us. Spirituality for Christian can never be an individualistic quest, the pursuit of God outside of community, family, and church. The God of the incarnation tells us that anyone who says he or she loves an invisible God in heaven and is unwilling to deal with the visible neighbor on earth is a liar. Since no one can love a God who cannot be seen, if he or she cannot love a neighbor who can be seen, if you're new to the Bible, that's a quote from one John. Hence, a Christian spirituality is always as much about dealing with each other as it is about dealing with God. I hate that last line, but it's so true. A Christian spirituality is always as much about dealing with each other as it is about dealing with God. So you have to be in community, it's non-optional. But this is a good thing because, secondly, if you're taking notes, community is non-optional for a well-lived life. Follower of Jesus or Muslim or atheist or whatever, bahai, whatever you are, if you are a human being, you are made for relationships. The author of this great book, we have for sale on our book thing called The Relational Soul written by two kind of leading psychologists about discipleship and community and how we get healing and relationship. Have this great line. At the core of our being is this truth. We are designed for and defined by our relationships. We were born with a relentless longing to participate in the lives of others. Fundamentally, we are relational souls. We cannot not be relational. We cannot exist well without connection and communion with another. I don't care how introverted you are tonight. And on the Mars Briggs, I'm like at the top, the book by quiet by Susan Cain. Anybody read that? It's like the Bible and then that for me. Like that, I'm way up there. I don't care how introverted you are, your relational soul. You need relationships. It doesn't matter how successful you are, how much money you make, how well you do in your career. If you live in your dream house, drive your dream car, whatever, if one relationship close to you and your life is off, you are emotionally a wreck. It doesn't matter. And your relationship with God is all out of sync at the same time because everything is tied together. Life is better in community. Life is better when we journey through the highs and lows with companions in the way. I keep thinking of that line the last few days from Romans 12, rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. It's a good line, I think, for the last week, as hard as it is. You know, in the good times, we rejoice. Another way to translate is that we celebrate together. What's your impulse when something really good happens? You get a promotion, or you buy your first house, or she says yes to a date, or whatever your thing is. What's your first impulse? Well, yeah, but you call up your friends. You're like, we need to go party, right? How do you party alone? No, I'm really introverted, but I'm not like, let me buy myself a beer. Like, no, I just don't do that. Like, you need to celebrate with other people. Hey, let's go out, let's have a drink, let's have dinner, let's celebrate, let's blow something up a firework. I don't know, like, you need to celebrate with other people. And then on the flip side, in the bad times, we mourned together. And just with somebody in our church, whose dad died recently, and he said something a few days ago, he's like, I don't need a sermon, I don't need a book. I just need people to be with me. I'll hear people say that, who are grieving. Just, I don't need to just hawk. I just come over, I just need you to be with me. We're going to tell stories of the next few weeks about life and community at Bridgetown. And a lot of those stories are just about how community was there for somebody, in a crisis, in a tragedy, in a diagnosis, in unemployment, in something, community was there, was family. If you grew up in community, if that's your normal, which is as it should be, then you have no idea how rare that is, in particular, in the modern urban digital age. Third is this, if you're taking notes. Community is the context where we are transformed. I said this a few weeks ago, but community plays a key role in our spiritual formation. At a surface level, you know, we become like the people we hang out with, the people that we spend time with, we dress like them, think like them, vote like them, listen to the music they listen to, all of that. But at a deeper level, community, and by that, I would define that as intentional relationships around the way of Jesus. It does two things in our transformation, into Christ's likeness, exposure and encouragement. Exposure, it exposes what's actually inside of you, just like in the story of the 12. And James, John, Mommy, all of that was there. Selfish ambition, greed, like dishonesty. That was all there in James and John, but it would not have come out if they had stayed home with Mommy, an anger problem attempt. That was all there in Peter, but it would not have come out if he had stayed back home with dad in the boat. Community exposes what's actually inside of you, what Pete Scazero, that writer we love, the emotionally healthy church, calls your shadow side. Here's how he defines your shadow side. Your shadow is the accumulation of untamed emotions, less than pure motives and thoughts, that while largely unconscious, strongly influenced and shape your behaviors, it is the damaged, but mostly hidden version of who you are. And we all have a shadow side, all of us. The thing about your shadow side is, it's not only hidden from other people, but a lot of the time it's hidden from us. Like not all of us are Peter Pan and have this high shadow awareness. (audience laughing) You know what I'm saying? Yeah, some of you grew up in the 90s, right there. Others you're like, everybody under 28 is like, what, what? Hugh Jackman, terrible, ruined the story. All right, if you know what I'm saying. Not all of us see our shadow side. A lot of us are blind to it until we step into community. Any kind of deep, honest relationship, a marriage, a deep friendship with, you know, whatever, a tight-knit, bridge-town community, you actually step into that and it exposes where you're really at. Just a week or two ago, I had a hard conversation with somebody in our staff who was kind enough to basically call me on my shadow side. And basically said, hey, there's some ways that you're leading our staff that are just unhealthy and you're critical and it was very gracious about it, but you don't create a safe place for people to disagree. And it's all true and all stuff I know. And so we had a good talk and I had to repent to him and repent to our staff and that was just no fun at all. But it was really good for me. And it was really interesting. I was in this conversation about it with Gerald, who was also there. And I was, I think I was saying, hey, I want, you know, if this ever happens again, I want you to come to me, open door policy, all that kind of stuff. And then I said, I think it's safe to say that I'm good at repenting. And then I, you know, but you're never really sure if you think that you're good at something, if you're actually good at something. So I said, Gerald, is that true? And Gerald is so nice in here. He said, yes. And then he had this, like, throw away line. And he's like, but you always feel like you need to be understood. Hmm. And he said, it's so nice. He was so kind. I don't even know if it was much more than a passing thought. I cannot stop thinking about that for the last two weeks. And I'm like, dang it. Just when I thought I was good at repenting, I realized that's so me I need to explain myself. Here's why. [LAUGHTER] If you're into the neogram, I'm a type one. According to neogram, I'm 1% of the population on the Myers-Briggs. I'm an INTJ that's 1.3% of the population, the most rare of the male species. I just constantly feel misunderstood. So I have to explain myself. Well, I know that was really lame. And I'm super sorry. And I'm quick to repent. Here's why I did it. Do-do-do-do-do-do-do. People don't care why I did it. I just need to say, I'm sorry. That was stupid, please forgive me. Help me change. Like, that's the kind of stuff that doesn't come out unless you're in community. And there's that impulse in all of us just to be like, that was really awkward. I'm just going to go make a new friend. [LAUGHTER] I was like, the millennial way to deal with conflict. Unfriend you. Bye. [LAUGHTER] You hell? Just like that. No, that's not a hopeful way forward. But this is the way of Jesus. And as hard as it is, it's a beautiful reality of community. So community does. Exposure. But then in a healthy Jesus community, it also does, on the back end of that, encouragement. We'll talk about this next week. But long story short, at a psychological and a neurological level, like literally in your brain chemistry, the only way to get healing from relational wounds is in relationship. So our deepest wounds come from relationship. Mom, dad, a breakup, whatever. And our greatest healing comes from relationship. It's why it's so tragic when people are hurt by a divorced family of origin, a breakup, of relationship. When they wall off and say, I'm never going to get close to somebody again, because I don't want to get hurt. They essentially stay broken forever. Because the only way to actually get at a psychological and neurological level, the only way to get healing is to step back into this time a healthy Jesus kind of relationship. My psychologist had this great line a few months ago. I was working with him on our spiritual formation, paradigm, he's a PhD, brilliant guy. And we spent quite a bit of time working on it. And when we were talking about this community piece, if you remember that paradigm, he had this great line. And he said, quote, Freud was all wrong, which you can say, if you're him. But he was dead right on one thing. You fix your broken part in relationship. You fix your broken part in relationship. If you're an introvert like me, you want to go off to Salvi Island and fix it by yourself with your journal. And there's a place for that. But you fix your broken part in relationship. Community is where we get healing. Where we have family, a safe place, to stumble and fall, and have people help you back up again. All that to say, if you want to grow and mature into Christ's likeness, community is once again non-optional. I love this from that book, Slow Church, that we read that was going around, at least about a year ago. The writers have this to say, spiritual formation occurs primarily in the context of community. Long-term interpersonal relationships are the crucible of genuine progress in the Christian life. People who stay grow. People who leave do not grow. It is a simple but profound biblical reality that we both grow and thrive together, or we do not grow much at all. I love that language of the crucible. Yes, community, if you're in one, if you're in it, you know it's really hard at times, but it's in the crucible of community that were formed, that were forged in the fire, to be like our rabbi, Jesus. Fourth is this, and I'll make this one fast. Community is not necessarily the same thing as a group of friends. I need to say this because we have so many kind of extroverted socialite, fantastic people. They're like, oh, yeah, I know lots of people. I'm in community. Maybe, but maybe not. Sociology writes about kind of strong ties and weak ties. If you're familiar with that paradigm, strong ties are the relational bond between a mother and a child or a brother, and a sister or you and your bestie, think that's what your girls call it, right? Not to gender stereotype. We don't say that, guys, I don't, whatever. I just got myself in trouble. There comes an email. You and your bestie. People you have in your favorites list in case of an emergency, weak ties are your relationship with your barista or your banker or that coworker or you share a meal with once every month or two. We live in a world with all sorts of weak ties and very few strong ties. It's easier than ever before to be connected to everybody but in community with nobody. Pull out your phone. The odds are you have hundreds. If not, some of you thousands of weak ties that you can comment on or DM or email or text or even if you want to go really old school in '90s, call. There's this thing forever ago. But would you? And if you did, would they answer? Would they pick up? I would go so far as to say there is no such thing as an online community you've heard me harp on this before because community is by definition. Webster is dictionary. People you live by. Once again, I love Sherry Terkel's definition of community. Communities are constituted by physical proximity. You live in the same neighborhood or sit here by each other. Shared concerns for us practicing the way of Jesus. Real consequences. Like you call each other out. You hold each other accountable. And common responsibilities for us you're about the kingdom of God in Portland as it is in heaven. It's people you do life with. And that's become a cliche. What we mean by that is people who see you on the good days and in the bad who don't see the curated version of yourself that always make up on never sad version of yourself. But who see the real you? And don't miss reading. I'm not down on friends at all. If you're that extrovert, life is a beautiful, fantastic. You're exhausting, but we love you. I just want you to see that your circle of friends is not necessarily the same thing as following Jesus in community. Fifth is this. Community is the byproduct of commitment. Our generation, you know, I think we all feel this. We're stuck in this catch 22. On one hand, we ache for belonging. The hypermobility has made us placeless. And kind of the breakdown of the family has made us insecure and afraid. And lonely, we ache for community. And yet, we also kind of want to keep our options open. Am I right? We approach relationships. A lot of us, myself included, with the consumer mindset, what's in it for me? Is this my kind of a person? How will this person make me feel or look or whatever? We live in a world of options, particular with the internet, and especially if you have money. So we hold out. What if there's somebody better out there? What if there's somebody cooler? Oh, that Bridgetown community. Oh, that church. That's kind of cool, but what if there's a better one? I haven't been to all of them. I don't know all my options yet. And so we don't commit. We put everything at arm's length. We see this at Bridgetown is not to slim. Anybody, because most of you break the stereotype to pieces, but we do see this more and more. People who I'm a part of Bridgetown church means they come here once a month or so. Listen to the podcast and follow us on Instagram. OK, great. It's better than nothing. But that is not community. It's not even a sliver of all that God has for you. The reality is, we can't have community without commitment. If we want community in-depth, safe, open, honest, long-term relationships, then we have to commit to a group of people that is less than ideal, that isn't perfect, that isn't idealized, that has problems and issues. We just have to say I'm in it with you. And not just to people, but even to a place. Our societies become so placeless, it's brutalizing the human condition. And we see this on our roots as a city we're called Stumptown. Why? Because this used to be a forest. The first settlers of our city were loggers. Think about a logger, a young, single man for the most part, no family who moved to the city from somewhere else, live in a camp for six months, a year, two years, take natural resources from the city, and then move on. That ethos is still alive and well in our city. People come here, move here, and if that's you, welcome, but don't really settle, live in an apartment, rent, move every six months or a year, work a great job, enjoy the city, consume, eat, and drink their way through the city for a while, and then move on. OK. But there's something to the beauty of what-- if you've ever read St. Benedict, what he called stability. His definition of stability was the spiritual skill for staying put to get somewhere. How good is that? I found this vow from a monastery. I think I read this over you last year in the Vision series. I just want to read it again, because it's so inspiring. We vow to remain all our life with our local community. We live together, pray together, work together, relax together. We give up the temptation to move from place to place in search of an ideal situation. Ultimately, there is no escape from oneself. And the idea that things would be better someplace else is usually an illusion. And when interpersonal conflicts arise, we have a great incentive to work things out and restore peace. This means learning the practices of love, acknowledging one's own offensive behavior, giving up one's preferences for giving. Isn't that beautiful? Now, don't freak out. I'm not asking you to take a vow of stability to Bridge Town Church or Portland, Oregon. But I am saying, God made you to live rooted. What would it look like for you to sink your life down into the soil of the city or wherever? Wherever God has you now in the future to live rooted. Don't be a logger, be a city builder. It was a very different kind of Portlander, a very different kind of settler that put this building up. And I think 1894, 1896, they were thinking about you. Over a century later, they were thinking about their children and their children's children, and their children's children, and a bunch of weird hipsters that found out about it moved in. They were thinking about you. And we're here because of them. So commit to a people and to a place. And finally, is this number six. Community takes time and intentionality. Time, you know, whenever people are new to the church, at basics class, I always say welcome. We're so happy you're here, give it time. We want you in community, want you, and just really robust relationships. It takes a while. We just had five new people join my community, and it's fantastic. But man, it takes a while to get to know people from scratch. And intentionality, it won't just happen, especially in the chaos of the urban, digital, overbusy city and world we call home. Courtney Martin in her book, The New Better Off, based on her great little TED Talk. She writes this, and she's writing about her experience in community and on a co-housing project. She writes, if you want to live like this with other people, you need not move somewhere special. You need not only, you need only be intentional about asking them to embrace interdependence with you. I love that. And then ritualize that commitment. We often fantasize about the village growing up around us spontaneously, as if frequent reciprocity will magically appear in the cracks of our over-scheduled lives. Rather than wishing for intentional community, we have to doggedly pursue it, make it concrete, make it a shared Google calendar, just make it real. Even if you are earnest and vulnerable, creating communities like we use, creating community at all requires shared space and time. It requires a genuine commitment just slowing down. So, as we start to wind down, how do we live this out at Bridgetown Church? Honestly, we are a big, we're not a mega church, but we are a big enough church that there is absolutely no way to get this kind of community out of our Sunday gatherings. This can be a great place to meet people, come early, be friendly, be hospitable, not for minutes before and after, take somebody out to ice cream down the street or whatever, serve. But this kind of community, for the most part, doesn't happen around a stage, but around a table. And Bridgetown is built just like that church we read about in Acts 2, that's kind of our model of large gatherings with a whole lot of people around a stage on Sunday, and then community all week long around a dining room, table, and an apartment, or a house in your neighborhood around a shared meal. We have upwards of 60 Bridgetown communities, which we used to call "Missional Communities," most of which are, I don't know, 10, 12, 15 people. The best way to think about Bridgetown Church is as a network of communities spread out through the urban core of the city that come together here at FBC on Sunday nights. This Sunday gathering that you're at right now, we believe in it, it's a core practice based on the lifestyle of Jesus. He was in the synagogue every single Sabbath. So we follow Jesus' example. But then the rest of the week he was with his disciples, like living it out at a table, at a park on the road, serving all week long in community. And we follow that example as well. Both and Sunday and community, church around a stage, church, church around a table, church in a pew, church on a couch, church with a lot of people, church with a dozen. We really believe in that both and our entire model is set up around that idea. My wife and I are here every Sunday that we're in town, and we live in community. We have for a number of years now, started with the Normans over here, moved in, one house over from us, and we started to do life together. And we've been through a lot together. Honestly, last couple of years, one of the reasons I haven't done a ton of talking about my own communities, because we've been through some really gnarly stuff that I'm not at liberty to share, but it's been really hard, but I still can't say enough about it, it's been amazing, it's changed me, it's changed my wife, my children, my family, how we do life together, how we experience the way of Jesus. And we want so badly for you to experience community, not the ideal of community, I've been through that, I've been through disenfranchisement, and I think I've come out to the other side. We want you to experience the messy reality, that beautiful space in between where we follow Jesus, and we're inviting you to step into that. Some of you are brand new to our church, welcome, can't wait to meet you, we have a basics class coming up, we just finished one, the next ones in January, that's how we welcome people in our communities three times a year, love to see you there. Of this view been through that, maybe you never made it into a community, or you were in a community, but it just was less than ideal, or honestly, it just didn't work for you, or whatever, or people moved away, because it's a placeless city, or whatever, and now you're kind of aimless. Others, if you're in community, most of you, and are just going for it, and it's hard, it's so good, and it's so worth it. Wherever you're at, we just want to invite you to lean into community. To reach out, there are people all around you that are new to our city. Every Sunday, I meet people who have, I just met people this morning. Multiple young couples just moved to the city, don't know a soul in the city, there are people in this room tonight, that I know who just started following Jesus, who literally don't have a single follower of Jesus as a friend, who are sitting right around you, not in community, don't know barely anybody. So lean in and reach out, open arms, open wide the radical hospitality to people around you, we're inviting you not just to come to Sunday night, we're so happy you're here, but for us, this is just the beginning. The real money is life in community all week long. There were so many great points in this teaching, and I'll walk a practice in the way we've learned that most people's deepest struggle with community is simply find in it. How do you find people who are available and willing to practice biblical community together? But when we talk to people who experience in genuine community and ask them what contributed to that, they didn't talk about finding community, they talked about building community. Particularly, they talked about the value of someone consistently taken the initiative to create space for authentic relationships. And while that doesn't invalidate the experience for many of us who are searching for community and not finding it, we wanted to conclude this teaching by asking the Holy Spirit to impress upon our hearts while he might have us do to begin the process of building community. So if you can, slow down with me and take a few deep breaths, recenter your attention on God's presence and pray this with me. Holy Spirit, what's one way I can take the initiative to build community in this season? I'll leave 30 seconds for you to talk with God and close with amen. Amen. Thanks for listening. This podcast is on practice in the way. We develop resources to help churches and small groups apprentice in the way of Jesus. Thanks to little thoughts for our show music. We're a crowd-funded non-profit so everything we make is completely free because it's already been paid for by the circle, our community of monthly givers. Special thanks today goes to Margaret from Dr. Thin Nivelland, Will from Lewisburg, Ohio, Bruce from Memphis, Tennessee, Abbey from San Point, Indiana, and Rebecca from Friendswood, Texas. Thank you all very much. To join these friends in the circle or learn more about our resources, visit practiceintheway.org. Until next time, may the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.