a hockey team sent a letter asking fans to please shower before the attend games. A family took their dead relative to the bank as proof of their being dead. And in London this week they raced some pancakes. So these are the weird stories on Weird AF News. The only daily Weird News podcasts. I got some strange news, bizarre news. Some of these stories were sent to me. Thank you. Here we go. A hockey team had to apologize to the fans after sending out a letter asking the smelly ones to please shower before a game. These are the Ashawa Generals. Ashawa is a suburban industrial town outside of Toronto. They're kind of like Toronto's smelly little brother so it's no wonder they had to send a letter to the fans to not be so smelly. Please clean yourself before you go out in public. They had to say. Now for my understanding the Generals are a minor league hockey team of some sort. They were the ones that sent the letter to season ticket holders. Only season ticket holders they sent this letter in which they asked. Those who went to the gym or quote did something that produced some body odor to please shower before attending a general's game. I wouldn't fetch the actual email I'll read it to you verbatim. It says. We are thrilled to have you with us each and every game and appreciate the energy that you bring to the arena to help ensure a clean comfortable and enjoyable experience for everybody. We kindly ask for your cooperation with a few simple hygiene practices. First, please make use of the hand sanitizing stations located throughout our arena. Cover your coughs and sneezes. Also be mindful of personal cleanliness while sharing our space with fellow fans. Also, if you're feeling unwell, we encourage you to take care of yourself and cheer us on from home whenever possible. And if you went to the gym or did something that produced a lot of body odor or sweat, please make sure you shower before attending a game. These small actions make a huge difference in keeping our community healthy and our events running smoothly. Thank you for your understanding, your respect for one another, and for being such an important part of our fan family. Enjoy the remainder of the season. So this was the email that went out to season ticket holders sent by the director of sales. His name is Jason. He was asked what prompted this email about taking care of yourself before coming to a game. He said the email went out because it's flu season. He's also received numerous complaints from season ticket holders about the odor. Now this email sparks some backlash and eventually the team, or at least this particular person who runs sales, had to apologize for the offensive email. My whole thing is, is it wrong to tell people that they smell? Is that, are we not allowed to do that? Because I've done that before. And before we judge, what sort of city is this? Auschwach. I mean, if it's a bunch of coal miners, you know, they don't have time to go home and wash off this coal before they get to a game. Maybe it's a town full of mailmen. You know, my mail mailmen, mail carriers. My mail carrier is smelly as hell. You know, but does my mail carrier have time to go shower before they go out to the the Dodger game? I don't know. Probably not. If you see the traffic to the Dodger game, you got to leave it like three o'clock for a seven o'clock game. Am I going to get canceled for saying mailman earlier? I'm just curious. Please let me know that way I can just go on vacation forever. Okay, the article I have here says, "After the letter surfaced, the generals posted a statement on their social media saying, quote, "Guys, we took a penalty on that last one. It's not our place to overstep such as we did. We are sorry. And hopefully we can wash this one off." Well, they got a sense of humor about it, but, you know, Canada's got humor and, you know, they got humor coming out their pores. They just, they can't even, they don't even know how to live life without humor. Canadians are the funniest. I adore them. My Canadian fans shout out to y'all. They interviewed a seasoned ticket holder here named Lisa, who's been a seasoned ticket holder for 43 years. Man, the generals have been going long. 43 years. Lisa, she knows what's up. She's, she's, she's smelled some smells before. She says she never received a letter like that before. And then she said, quote, "Well, people need to clean when they go to the game." She said the team did what they had to do. She must know who smells. Somebody smells. And it's probably a seasoned ticket holder. It's probably one section. But I mean, you can't get specific with your, with your letter, right? You can't be like, "Hey, everyone. Thanks for once again supporting the generals this season. We're off to a rocky start, but we hope to turn it around by midseason." Meanwhile, if you happen to be in section 108, seats 9 through 12, could you please take a shower before the game? Some of the other guests are complaining, the fact that you smell like, like garbage. So how about we don't be an ass hat and clean up before we leave the house, right? Be a citizen, be a human being. We evolved from apes millions of years ago. So can you act that way? Unfortunately, you know, you can't send a letter like that. We have another quote from another fan who says, "I'd be pretty confused if I got a letter telling me to take a shower before I went to a game, honestly. Like, I would have thought that was a mistake of some sort." Now, the generals, they play, it says in the Ontario Hockey League, guys, who that's minor league. They currently have 12 wins and 26 losses this season, which is the worst record in the Ontario Hockey League. Okay, so that even the team stinks, which makes this a lot funnier. Now, this story that I'm covering went live a couple of days ago. And since then, some of the fans, they've had a game since then, at least one. And some of the fans that have showed up have brought signs to make fun of the whole smelly theme. I'm going to read a couple of them too. One fan is holding a sign that says, "I'm with smelly." Another one brought a sign that said, "I shower two times just in case." Another one says, "Fans stink, question mark. How about those refs? Very funny. I mean, here's this is Canada for you in a nutshell. So funny. And drunk and some of them, well, smelly, clearly. But yeah, we love our drunk smelly neighbors anyways. Don't we, guys?" A family brought a corpse inside the bank over a funeral payout dispute. This story is out of a place called Stanger in South Africa. It says in a shocking and desperate act that left bank staff and bank customers in total disbelief this week. A grieving family wheeled the body of their deceased relative into a bank demanding immediate action on a delayed funeral insurance payout. So what is this? You want to see proof that he's dead? Yeah, and they just wheel him down on the bank. This person, how do you? Is that even legal proof that somebody in your family's dead? Do you need some sort of certificate? Even if they, yeah, they can't just bring a dead person down to the city hall. Can you? I don't think, how did they get this body in the first place? Isn't it supposed to be at the morgue or a hospital? I got so many questions here. Okay, it all started around mid-morning at the Capotech bank in central Stanger. This is a town that's also known as Kwadakusa. It's in Kwa Zulu Natal. Is this in the outbackers? Some sort sounds like it. Now the family have been trying to claim funds from a funeral policy that was held by their late relative, but the bank officials reportedly insisted on some clear proof that the individual had indeed passed away as they claimed that they did. All right, well, you would think that birth certificate would be the go-to, right? Well, instead of getting a death certificate from the Department of Home Affairs, which is the standard procedure, this family chose a bold and heartbreaking step. They collected the body from a local mortuary, placed it in a black body bag, and brought it right into the bank. How do you just go collect the body from the local mortuary? Is that even okay? You could just go get the body before it's been cremated or before the funeral takes place. Just go take it for a spin. Like, what? I don't think this is something's off about this story. Or these people are just complete maniacs. They were like, you know what? We'll break grandpa out of that mortuary. But then at that point, why even bother with the body bag? Just, you know, wheel grandpa over a weekend at Bernie's style in a wheelchair. There were eyewitnesses to this. Obviously, it was in the morning. They described the scene as total chaos as the body bag was left on the floor near the counters. Customers waiting in line panicked and ran out while staff members were left stunned and they had to evacuate the building very quickly. Yeah, but did they accept it? I still don't, it's not saying. Who's handling this case? No, I mean, I assume you can't use the dead body as legal proof in this instance, right? You need you can't file a dead body. Well, maybe you can file a dead body. I've seen those long files that they have in the in the in the morgue at the police station. You could definitely file it. But in this instance, you're going to need multiple copies, right? Because it's a bank. They always want multiple copies. How are you going to get multiple copies of dead grandma? We're going to need a bigger scanner. Okay, let's get more details. Let's find out. Did they at least get the corpse notarized on the way to the bank? I have so many questions. It says here the smell and sight caused some of the customers and employees to feel quite sick. And the whole area around the bank was shut down for a short time to handle the situations. Local security teams got involved after hearing about it through community WhatsApp groups. The police also arrived soon after to manage the crowd and and ensure public health rules were
followed as handling a body in a public space like this raises serious concerns about hygiene and respect for the dead. I think respect for the dead is all out the window at this point. The family doesn't even give a damn about the deceased. They just want their money. I covered a story like this before it was opposite. You guys remember they a family brought a dead man to the bank to prove he was alive so they could get out some money? This is the opposite of that. The bank closed its doors for the rest of the day. As you can imagine, leaving other customers to find alternative ways to do their banking. Oh no, what are those? This kind of protest shows just how far some families will go and they feel ignored or pushed to the edge by paperwork and delays that add to the grief. Oh yeah, for sure. For sure, companies will push you to the brink. You were already stressed out because you lost your mom and now you're trying to cancel her cable. They're like, "Well, you know what? She actually signed on for six more months. So you're going to have to pay a cancellation fee that's the equivalent to six months plus an early fee, early termination fee, your mother died fee." This is how these companies operate. They're heartless, heartless. I'm not going to say that bringing the dead body to the bank is okay. But sometimes drastic measures need to be taken to put these people in their place to show them a lesson. Or at the least, shut down your case that you have with them, which just seems that sometimes so difficult. I mean, it's got to be so hard dealing with the deceased person. I was a bill collector for a little while. Not my proudest moment in life, but I learned a lot about finance. I learned a lot about credit card companies and banks and how they treat deceased accounts and stuff. I had to deal with it on my job a little bit. I was collecting bills and I had a supervisor who, after I told him, "Well, the person's dead. They're like, "Try and collect it anyways." And you're like, "What?" Just ask anyone who picks up the phone, tell them they got to pay. I'm like, "This, I don't know." I was very young in naive at the time. And it felt bad. It felt awful asking people to pay the bills of their deceased relative. I was an aggressive, like some people in the office. I couldn't believe what people told me. Oh my goodness. You know, just, just, just, "Dunning the crap out of a, of a widow." Now the article here ends by saying, "At the heart of all of this drama at the bank with the corpse is the everyday struggle many South Africans face with funeral insurance." These policies are meant to help cover burial costs, which can run into thousands of rans, R&DS, rans, for things such as coffins, transport, and ceremonies. In this case, the family said they had submitted all the needed documents earlier, but the bank kept asking for more and more proof. Feeling helpless and under pressure to bury their loved one with dignity, they decided to deliver the proof in person. Well, I understand the frustration, but it's not really dignified to leave the body at the bank. I'll just say that much. London's Pancake Day happened this week. And this is something I never heard of before, so I was curious. I'm going to learn about Pancake Day. Also, I was looking for an upbeat story. You know, something that makes us smile about what's going on in the world, because there isn't a lot of that going on. Somewhere, there's a Pancake Day is happening. It happened this week. So, you know, rejoice. rejoice. Pancakes are great. They make us smile. The story's out of the UK. In London, in particular, they have this race here that they're covering in this article. It says, "A number two pencil, a penguin, a strawberry. What do all these things have in common?" Well, they were all racing through central London on Tuesday. Each of them holding a frying pan in one hand, flipping a pancake as they raced. Well, dozens of amusingly costume people watched and some took part in this delicious tradition dating back centuries, apparently. Annual Pancake Day Competition. So, I watched a video of this. It's mostly white people. They put on a costume like it could be a strawberry. You could dress up like Harry Potter. Okay. And then you have a frying pan. And you have to run, stop, flip a pancake, then keep running, then stop and flip a pancake. Can't drop the pancake. And the person who's quickest at running and flipping pancakes seems to be the winner. I don't know what they get. It looks like everybody, whether or not you're competing or not, gets some pancakes at the end of the day. So, that's going to be a good time no matter what. Now, the actual day is called Shrove Tuesday, SHROV Tuesday. It's sort of like Fat Tuesday. You know, the Mardi Gras has Fat Tuesday. Well, apparently this is the UK version of Fat Tuesday. Shrove Tuesday. It's the final feast before Lent's 40-day Christmas Christian fasting period begins. The celebration, it says, also known as Fat Tuesday, has its roots in medieval England when households would use up rich ingredients such as eggs, milk, and butter before the austere Lenten season. Oh, so it sounds like this is all stemming from the fact that right before Lent, if they had like cheese and butter, milk, like creams or anything that would perishables, they would have to, you know, have a big feast of some sort or eat them up at least. So it sounds like they went with pancakes here. Just as an aside in the video and photos, the pancakes look a little thin over there in the UK. I don't know what you're doing. Do you? Our pancakes here in the US super thick and fluffy. I don't know. It looks like a completely different pancake to me, to me. I don't know. Maybe you guys are using non-fat ingredients or something. They look very slimming. Almost like a crepe. They got crepe vibes, I would say. Anyways, if you like pancakes, you got to have the thick ones we're making over here. I mean, we're doing it like big thick cakey sponges. Amazing. Now the article I have here has a little history. It says, according to legend, the pancake race tradition traces back to 1445 in only Buckinghamshire, where a woman who was late for church while making pancakes supposedly ran to the church service. Still clutching her frying pan sizzling on down the cobblestone road. What a scene. Don't slip on the syrup, my dear. Now today's races have two simple rules. Participants must flip their pancakes at least three times during the course and pancakes must remain intact at the finish line. The crisp, clear conditions provided ideal for Tuesday's flipping festivities across London. And by the way, through my research, I learned it's not just London. It's like all sorts of major cities in England. And even in Ireland, they do this. They do this. They have a race in cork more than likely Dublin. So this is a thing in Ireland as well. Sounds like a very egg-sighting flipping good time over there. What do you guys drink with your pancakes? You got to drink something, right? And Mardi Gras everybody's getting messed up in Mardi Gras. So I mean, I assume there's some boozing going on with the pancakes. Is it is it just beer with the pancakes? Also, what do you guys put on your pancakes over there? Is it maple syrup, honey, butter, lemon? What are you doing over there? Is it cream? Anybody, anybody putting syrup on it? Strawberries, fresh fruit, fresh fruit of thing over there on the pancakes? I got a lot of questions about pancakes in the UK. I'd actually love to participate in the pancake race as well. I'm white. Maybe they'll let me in there. I just got to, what do I got to do? Make my cheeks rosy? Not brush my teeth for six months? How do I, how do I pass off as a Londoner? I've smoked some cigarettes. How do I do it guys? I want to know. I think this is how all-world conflicts should be solved. Just race down a cobblestone road in clogs, flipping a pancake, see if you can live. Alright, I've gotten to the end of the articles. It doesn't say who won. I have no idea. I'm going to guess it's a white person that won. That's what my money's going. A ruddy faced white guy with dry skin. There's a lot of white dudes with dry skin over there. I've seen the videos. A question. Have you ever a lot of black person to participate? Because I think a black person would win this race. I'm just putting it out there. They tend to be better at racing than everybody else. So I think they're not allowing black people to participate in the pancake race on purpose because they want these white men with dry skin to win every year. I could be totally wrong. I'm just guessing. I don't know. Maybe a black person won at some point. I've watched a couple of videos of this. So I didn't see any black people racing. I did see Shia Le Booth, though, knock a frying pan out of some guy's hand and throw up on the concrete in the middle of the race. That guy just loves celebrating the Tuesday before lint. Well, hello, Gabna. Have you seen my skillet? Trying to win a flapjack race? Do you guys ever go on flapjacks over there? Anyone? I'm asking. Sometimes people call them flapjacks or griddle cakes, hot cakes. I've heard all kinds of names for these things. I just like pancakes, but I don't really eat them often anymore because they're just not healthy. It's a bunch of low quality flour usually with just so much sugar. It's just not good. Not a good breakfast. Once in a while, it's not bad though. But if I eat a pancake breakfast, I'm going to eat it.
right back to bed afterward. You can't eat a pancake breakfast and then go about your day like a normal person moving around, talking. That's just immediately going conscious at that. There's not enough coffee in this world to make me keep going after a giant flapjack stack. Flapjack stack. You guys do waffles over there too? What about waffles? I'm assuming French toast is a thing. But I'm wondering about waffles. Is that an American invention? Have you guys been legoin' egos for hundreds of years? Okay, I'm moving along. I just try to learn guys. I'm curious about cultures. And one of the ways that I like to penetrate a culture is through their women. I'm kidding, through their food, through their food. I like to penetrate through their food and get to know a culture that way. All right, all right. I'm definitely canceled after this segment. Okay, let's give thanks and praise Romero, longtime friend of the show. Supporter as well. Football fan bought me coffees off my website, WeirdAFNews.com. 10 coffees, is that incredible? 10 coffees, he bought me. I woke up 10 coffees. Now, in actuality, I can only probably buy four coffees in Los Angeles with those 10 coffees, but needless to say, so appreciative, 'cause I just love my caffeine. This week I've been drinking hot coffee as opposed to the ice. I'm usually at an ice coffee guy. I'm usually like 11 months, 10 months out of the year at least, but this has been a very cold week in Los Angeles. It's been hot coffee all the way. Romero wrote, "Thanks, Jonesy for all the great work you do. And thanks to the Patriots for a great performance and for winning me some bets." Oh, I see what he did there. He's making fun of my team. Oh, no, maybe the Patriots did win some bets for you. I don't know, maybe he had some prop bets. They certainly didn't cover. Also, he said, "Take care from a salty dolphins fan." He's a salty dolphins fan. That's why he can't stand the Patriots. They're one of them. The Patriots are like the dolphins, mortal enemies. One of them anyways. It's AFC East battling going on. We've been, remember, we had to squish the fish. You remember? Romero, I bet remembers the squish the fish. That was the thing when the Patriots had to beat Dan Marino to get to the Super Bowl, which they then got destroyed by arguably the greatest defensive football team that ever stepped on a gridiron, which was the 85, 86 bears. I mean, just our luck. It was not too much dissimilar to the last Super Bowl when we got our asses totally handed to us by a very strong defense in the Seattle Seahawks. Anyway, shout out to my Seattle listeners. All right, I'm gonna get out of here. I've gone too long. Hey, tomorrow's Friday, so it's Florida Friday on Weird AF News. If you come across any Florida news and you wanna send it over, do the link. Give me the link so I can read the article. And just don't write me, some people write me an email, but hey, Jones, I saw a story about Florida. We're a guy stole bicycle and they drove through Walmart upside down while drinking wine out of a dead squirrel. And then I'm like, now listen, I don't got time to go Google this. Just send me the link. Send me the link. Funny
[email protected] or put it in my Instagram @funnyjones. If you wanna buy me coffees like Ramero, go to weirdaftnews.com and click on the Buy Me a Coffee banner. And then you can buy me some coffees. Appreciate you. See you tomorrow for FFFFFFFFL, Florida Friday on Weird AF News. Good luck with your life, man. - Oh, Pog Daddy. Give me more of that gestation interface. Mm, yeah. Oh, Pog Daddy. Good luck with your life, man.
PodcastTranscript AI