How To Rewire Your Brain To Enjoy Discipline

[Music] Welcome to today's episode, you beautiful people of the Mindset Mentor podcast. I'm your host, Rob Dyle. If you have not yet done so, hit that subscribe button so you never miss another episode. And I am running a free live zoom lesson to teach you how to stop procrastinating, stop self-sabotaging and finally break through your own personal, invisible sealant. If you listen to this podcast, you already know that everything in your life, you are the problem, but you are also the solution. So I'm going to teach you how to break through that ceiling so that you can take action, get out of your own way and create the life that you want. This will not be a recording. I will be live and it will be June 10th, 7pm Eastern. Register for free at breaktheceiling20206.com once again, breaktheceiling20206.com. Today, I'm going to be talking about how to actually rewire the way that your brain works, so that you enjoy taking the action and discipline that you need to create the life that you want. And I'm going to teach you the biggest reason why discipline feels so hard for you. And it's because your brain has been unconsciously rewarding comfort and punishing growth for years. And if you do not change that, you'll continue to procrastinate. You'll continue to avoid the hard things. You'll continue to keep self-sabotaging and wondering why you're not creating the life that you know that you're capable of. The good news though is that discipline is not something you're born with. It's something your brain can be trained to enjoy. And so today, I'm going to show you how to rewire that brain of yours so that you love discipline and it stops feeling like punishment and starts feeling like something that you want to do. Because the most disciplined people in the world aren't necessarily tougher than anyone else, they've just simply learned to enjoy what other people avoid. So let's dive into it. I want you to understand this. The biggest misconception around discipline is that most people think discipline means forcing yourself to do things that you don't want to do. They think that the goal with discipline is to become better with self-control and to become better at resisting temptation. But if that were true, then discipline people would spend their entire lives basically fighting themselves. And that's not really what happens. So when you actually look at someone who hates running, they have to force themselves to run. When you look at someone who loves running, they don't have to force themselves. They just do it. When you see someone who hates sales and they're in sales and they have to force themselves to make calls. But then you see someone who's like an entrepreneur who really believes in their mission. They don't have to force themselves. They just do it because they believe so much in it. Someone who hates the gym has to drag themselves into the gym. Someone who identifies an athlete, like they feel weirder if they don't show up to the gym. So the difference is this, the behavior between those two people for all of those examples, the behavior is the same. The real key thing to understand is the experience for both of those two people is completely different. Same behavior, different experience. One person has to force and use willpower. The other person is using identity. And they're actually like showing up because they want to. One person is fighting themselves. And the other is just expressing who they believe that they are. They're enjoying doing what they're doing. And so the goal isn't to become better at forcing yourself when you look at discipline. The goal is to become the type of person who naturally does difficult things. That's a very different game, different perspective. Like let's talk about why you as a person repeat certain behaviors. Why any person will repeat a certain behavior? Your brain is constantly asking one question. Should I do this again? Whenever you do something, every action that you take helps answer that question. When you look at dopamine, the, you know, most people think it's just a pleasure chemical. And it is, but it's not just that. It's not entirely true. Research from neuroscience Wolfram Schultz showed that dopamine is also heavily involved in reward prediction. And so your brain is constantly learning what behaviors are worth repeating. And it's constantly updating its predictions about what you should do based off of future rewards. Your brain wants to be rewarded. It wants dopamine. And so check this out. This is really important to understand. Every time you procrastinate and you feel relief because you procrastinated, your brain learns something. Ah, this feels good to procrastinate. Every time you avoid a difficult conversation and you feel a little bit better because you didn't have to talk to that person today, your brain learns something. Huh, this feels good. It feels good to avoid things that are hard. Every time you choose comfort and you decide to go for a media gratification, your brain learns something. This feels good. And your brain doesn't judge. It doesn't care if a behavior helps you. Or if a behavior hurts you. It only notices the outcomes. It notices what feels rewarding. And so then it encourages you to repeat what feels rewarding to it. So think about this. What have you been training your brain to think is rewarding? See, most people have accidentally trained themselves to enjoy comfort over everything else. They've rewarded avoidance and rewarded procrastination and rewarded distraction and rewarded staying exactly the same. And then they wonder like why discipline feels so painful? Why it feels so hard to do? Why growth feels so difficult? Why change feels so uncomfortable to them? Well, because the truth is they haven't trained their brains to love growth. They've accidentally trained their brains to love comfort and avoidance. Do you get that? Like, can you see the places in your life that you have done that? Because it's really key to start to be able to pick apart the places in your life where you're doing this. And so here's where it really starts to get interesting. Okay. The activity that you do isn't what determines your experience. Now most people think that it is. Like, the activity itself isn't what determines your experience with that activity. It's the meaning that you give that activity that determines your experience. So it's not going to the gym that determines how you feel about it. It's the meaning that you give going to the gym that determines your experience. So let me give you an example so you can kind of understand it, right? Imagine two people running. One person thinks, oh my god, this sucks. I hate running. I hate this. When can I stop? How much longer do I have to go? And we will be right back. And now back to the show. The other person thinks themselves, this is good for me. I'm becoming stronger. I'm building resilience. This is changing me. I am so proud of myself for showing up. This is good for me and that's why I'm doing it. It's the same workout. It's the same run, but it's a completely different experience. Why is that? Because the meaning changes your emotion and your mental association to the action is what's most important. Both people are still running, but they're mental association with the running two completely different scenarios. And there was Stanford psychologist named Alia Crum, who has spent years studying mindset. And her research has actually shown that your beliefs change physiological responses. And her research shows that your beliefs change your physiological responses to the activity. So in other words, what you believe about an experience affects how you actually experience it. So when most people believe like discipline equals sacrifice and it equals restriction and suffering and then missing out on things. Well, that sounds like it sucks, doesn't it? Most people are not going to want to do that. But that's how most people think of discipline. But highly disciplined people know that their discipline equals freedom. Their discipline creates self-respect. Their discipline equals growth in their life. Their discipline is becoming who they want to be. They can think that their discipline equals self-love because you only have to use discipline to do the things that are good for you. And so the action didn't change. The meaning changed. And because the meaning changed, the emotional experience changed. So if you associate it, whatever it is, the it that you want to do, that you need discipline for, with a negative mental association, you will always, always, always until a day you die of resist doing it. You can still make yourself, you can still force yourself to, but you will resist it. But if you associate it, whatever it is, with a positive mental association, you will want to do it. That's what's crazy about it. Like not only will you want it, you'll actually start to enjoy it. That's why I'll do it. And when you enjoy something, you will actually crave to do it again. This is how you start becoming somebody who enjoys discipline. And when you look at all of this, this brings up one of the most important concepts that you'll ever hear. Psychologists call it psychological flexibility. And so psychological flexibility is your ability to experience difficult things or difficult emotions without feeling like you need to escape them. So most people are thinking like, wow, How do I avoid discomfort? How do I avoid rejection? How do I avoid failure? How do I avoid uncertainty? But the highest performers, the people who have a different perspective of what they're doing, think to themselves, how do I expand my capacity for discomfort? How do I become someone who can carry uncertainty? How do I become someone who can handle fear? How can I grow myself to be able to be okay with failure? Like that changes everything because discipline stops becoming a battle that you're doing every single day. It becomes a practice. It's just something that you do, a practice that you do so that you can expand your capacity so that you can expand your potential, so that you can become the actual person that you're destined to become on this earth. See, like most people, they see discomfort as a stop sign. Like most people feel a little bit uncomfortable and they think in their brain, this means stop. Mm, no, like discipline people see discomfort as a positive thing that they want because it means that they're actually growing. So they assume that if something feels uncomfortable, hey, there might be some growth here. Let me go ahead and see what kind of weird stuff I can get into because I might be able to grow myself in this situation. And it kind of becomes like a game. It kind of becomes fun. The signal that makes other people retreat and like coil away becomes a signal that high performers follow. They begin to seek out discomfort as a means of looking for a way to grow. And so how do you actually rewire your brain to start to love this? Let's go through like a step-by-step process, okay? Step number one is you have to stop rewarding avoidance. I want you today to start paying attention. Notice where you seek immediate relief. Notice where you procrastinate. Notice where you avoid certain things. And then ask yourself the question when you're noticing it, if I avoid this, what lesson am I sending to my brain right now? It's like if one of your children is watching you and they're seeing what you do and you're like, oh, maybe I shouldn't do this. Like what, okay, what am I teaching them by showing them that I'm doing this? Maybe get frustrated at somebody and you want to yell. It's like, well, what am I teaching my kids if that's the case? Same exact thing. If I want to procrastinate, if I want to avoid, if I want to just go do nothing but doom scroll on my phone, what am I teaching my brain in this moment about avoidance, about discipline, okay? So that's the first thing. The second thing I want you to do is start rewarding the action. Like most people reward the outcome, but that's a really big mistake because outcomes are often delayed. Like if you work out today, you're not going to see any results today. You're not going to see any results tomorrow. If you work out for the next 30 days, you might see some results in 30 days, but you have to understand, usually if we reward outcomes, that's too far on down the road. Your brain learns way faster. You can train your brain faster with immediate rewards. So you can look at this thing that you're doing and say, how can I immediately reward myself after I take this action? It could be anything. There's been a lot of stays that found. If you give yourself a tiny piece of chocolate after a workout, you're more likely to show up. Not even an entire snake is barbed, but a tiny piece of chocolate, little tiny square of chocolate, you're more likely to do it again tomorrow. But you don't even have to give yourself anything. You could also just reward yourself by talking positively to yourself, to celebrating yourself. There's actual stays or so, just celebrating yourself and talking yourself up after doing something difficult makes you excited about doing it next time because you're getting a little bit dopamine. So reward yourself for showing up. Reward yourself for consistency. Reward yourself for effort more than outcome. Reward yourself for keeping your promises to yourself. Okay. Step number three is to start focusing on identity. So stop asking yourself stuff like, what do I need to do? Like, what do I need to do to do this? What do I need to do to make more money? What do I need to do to get a six pack and start to ask yourself stuff like, who do I want to become? Right, we're all becoming somebody. Either we're going to become somebody worse in the future. We're going to become the exact same person we already are or we're going to become somebody better in the future. So instead of saying something like, oh, I need to work out, you can ask yourself like, what would a healthy person do? What would a disciplined person do? What would the future best version of me do? Why would you want to do this? Because your long term behavior will always follow your identity. And identity is way more powerful than motivations, way more powerful than anything else. You don't want to just go for a run. You want to become a runner. You don't want to build a business. You want to become and identify as a successful business owner. You don't want to become a great parent. You want to identify as a great parent. And you will automatically start taking the actions that you need to because of what you identify as. Okay? That's number three. Number four is to learn to love the feeling after. Listen, nobody enjoys every workout. Nobody enjoys every single difficult conversation. Nobody enjoys every single challenge. That's a little bit crazy, right? But almost everyone enjoys the feeling afterwards, right? The pride that you feel, the confidence that you feel, the self-respect that you feel, the momentum that you feel, the relief that you feel. So you want to train yourself to focus on that reward after the discomfort, not the discomfort itself. Because if you focus on just the discomfort, it tells your brain like, oh, this isn't something that we like doing. That was really hard to do. But if you focus on the reward of rewarding yourself after it tells your brain, this is something that we enjoy. We want to do this again. Okay? And so maybe the new goal here isn't just becoming more disciplined. Maybe the new goal is becoming somebody who enjoys growth and someone who sees discipline as a positive thing that helps you bring your potential out to the world. Because people who achieve extraordinary things aren't necessarily more disciplined than you. They're not necessarily smarter. They're not more talented. They've just learned to enjoy what other people avoid. They just seek out what other people run from. They find meaning in their discomfort. They find freedom in their discipline. And so your brain, you have to understand is always learning. Every action that you take is teaching it something. Every choice that you make is shaping your future identity. And so you have to ask yourself, what have I trained my brain to enjoy? Is it comfort? Or is it growth? Is it staying the same? Or is it discipline? Because the answer to that question will determine the trajectory of your life. And so remember like discipline, it's not punishment, it's not restriction, it's not suffering. Discipline is self-respect, it's self-love, it's freedom, it's growth, and it's the pathway to you becoming the person that you're meant to be. So that's what I got for you for today's episode. If you love a episode, please share it with anyone that you know that would like to listen to it. And if you have ever felt like you're the one holding yourself back with your income and your relationships and your health, I have a live lesson you're going to want to be a part of. I'm going to show you exactly how to break through every ceiling that you have and break through for good so that your life changes. You can grab your free spot at breakthusceiling2026.com. Once again, breakthusceiling2026.com. And with that, I'm going to leave it the same way I leave you every single episode. Make it your mission, make somebody else's day better. I appreciate you and I hope that you have an amazing day.