160: How to never diet again and be thin for life: Chauntelle’s Heart Led Eating transformation

Most women nowadays have had some experience of dieting, obsessing about food, doing cleanses to try and lose weight, tracking calories, pro team, fasting, and you probably believe that in order to be thin, you need to control and manipulate your food. You can't eat your favorite foods, you need to be locked in on track. But the truth is, you can live in a thin body and have ease and freedom with food to the point where you're not thinking about food. You enjoy your favorite foods and you still live in a thin body. And the key to getting there is healing your relationship with food at a nervous system level and learning exactly how to eat like a naturally thin person eats. And my client, Shontel, went through this exact journey inside Heartlet Eating and she's sharing with you today exactly how she did this. And I want you to listen to this episode, seeing how this can be you as well. You can also become one of those naturally thin girls who eats half a cookie and leaves the rest on her plate and completely forgets about it. I'm so glad you're here. I can't wait for you to listen. Feel free to leave a rating and a review of the podcast if you're enjoying it. And let's dive right in. Hello, Shontel. Thank you so much for being here with me today to record your story. I know so many people are going to be impacted by the things that you're going to share with us today. So welcome to the show. Thank you. Thanks for having me. Yeah, of course. Can you take us back to what your relationship with food and your body was like prior to Heartlet Eating? Like where did your food and body journey really start for you? Yeah, so as a child, I was very tuned out for my body, I feel like that was never like, you know, a thing that I paid much attention to. I could eat whatever, you know, my mom wasn't like a big dieter, so I didn't necessarily like grow up, you know, watching somebody who was a dieter, but obviously like society just kind of makes you, you know, like I was always that, oh, Kate Moss is like the ideal, you know, body type. And even though like when I think about it now, I'm like, oh, that's terrible that that's what like I thought was, you know, the ideal body type is it's really not attainable for most people, it seems like, you know, and not even healthy, like the some of the things that, you know, the models and stuff do to have a body type like that. So yeah, like that was always kind of in the back of my mind, but I didn't, I wasn't necessarily like working towards being that way, you know, I didn't eat great, I was already like as a kid like overeating and, but I had this weird dynamic with like my parents didn't have a lot of money, so we didn't go out to eat a lot and stuff, and so I find now that I have like lots of food scarcity issues because of some of those things, which I didn't necessarily realize, but like, you know, analyzing everything and going through HLE, I see a lot of that, as far as like dieting and stuff, I would say that probably didn't come into play so much until maybe junior high, high school, I think. I was always like uncomfortable in my body as a kid. I was like chubby and hated that and you know, always had friends that were thinner, I mean, some maybe not, but was always comparing myself to other people and never liked where I was in my own body, but also was not tuned into what I could do to change that necessarily, which seems interesting now that like how did I never even, you know, like think that I had any impact on that, it was kind of crazy. So yeah, and like probably junior high, I'm thinking I started like exercising more and trying different diets. I think more like college age is probably what I started doing, cleanses and just like everything that could like possibly lose weight from, you know, and my roommates were doing it too. I had several roommates in college, you know, so it was always like that same. We were all doing trying every single thing we could to lose weight, like everything was about losing weight, but just like so sad, you know, and I think about it now and I have a sister that's a couple years older and so she and I, you know, were always doing the same kinds of things like, oh, I tried this diet, oh, you should try this, this worked for me, but nothing that was ever sustainable. So yeah, that was kind of like growing up and then like college and beyond. It was just like continuing every diet and cleanse and whatever and even like when I had kids and after my pregnancies like having to lose all of that weight and it, you know, I did this workout challenge that was like through the company that I work for and which was actually, there was good with it, it was good and bad because it, it was like a whole workout routine, but also food played a part in it too. We had to be on the strict diet and it worked. Like I saw results from it. It was a 12 week week program. I lost bunch of weight, felt great, but then a year later gained some of the weight back, you know, so it was like it wasn't sustainable, you know, so every one of these cleanses and diets and stuff that I've done, I like learn a little from, but it almost made me just more obsessive because it was like tweaking everyone to get like the one that's gonna work. I'll take this from that and I'll take this one from that diet and you know, and yeah, I finally just got to the point where I'm like, this is crazy. Why am I like so obsessed with all of this and like there has to be a better way and and why do I even care so much about having this perfect body? Like, you know, my husband doesn't care or like he thinks I'm crazy that I do all these things, you know, so it's like why do I care so much about this? So yeah, that was kind of like what's been going on for years and years and years until finally like I found your program and of like really training my body or my brain to not need to obsess over all these stupid things. Yeah, and you mentioned sustainable a few times, which I think is really important to talk about because a lot of times when we jump into these diets, I remember doing this myself where you are trying these different plans and cleanses and diets, you're not thinking, oh, is this something that I'm gonna be able to do for the rest of my life? Like, you're just thinking, how can I lose weight as fast as I possibly can? But just like you experienced the diet ends is the or ends is ends, the cleanse ends and then you end up gaining the weight back or even more than you started because it's not actually healing the root cause or helping you live forever in a way that's actually sustainable and and permanent. Right. Yeah, and then how did you find Heartlet Eating or what made you decide that you wanted to try Heartlet Eating? Yeah, I found Heartlet Eating on Instagram. I had already found a different program that was like similar towards like tuning into your body and listening to hunger and you know all of that but and the girl was great. I'm sure that her program was good too but I had followed her for a little while and considered buying her program but it wasn't like yours where you do the coaching. It was all just self-led and I was like, ugh, I don't do well with just a self-led program like I'll probably purchase it, you know, it's more than I want to spend and then I may or may not even do the whole program. So I was very skeptical of it just from from that aspect and but kept following her and listening to her, you know, stuff and then one day you're, you know, one of your Instagram posts popped up and I was like, oh, okay, this is another one that's like along those same lines but it's different. So then I started following you and yeah, I was like, I feel like it was only a few weeks, maybe a month and I remember telling my sister like, this, she's the one. I feel like this one is actually gonna work. She's very genuine. You can tell she just like pours her heart and soul into this program. Yeah, so I was like, it's not like, I like it, it's more than I want to spend but what if it's like the actual thing that works? Like I think it's worth it, you know? And then the next day you had put on put out a sale, I think for your birthday. Yes. And I remember calling my sister like, I'm gonna do it. She just posted this sale. It's meant to be, you know, my sister was like, yes, like absolutely you have to do it. Like it's it's meant to be like, why did that sale just come out? Like right after we were just talking about it, you know? So I signed up that night and yeah, haven't left back ever since. It's been so good. I'm so happy that I, signed up for your program and yeah oh, I'm so glad that you did because I wouldn't have met you and been able to hear your story at all. So tell me once you were inside Heartlet eating, what were some things that stood out to you like all hall moments like what was the journey like for you? What did you learn? Yeah, um I think like the the root causes have been like such a big have made a big impact to me because I don't think about some of the things like um like the the root causes that really were um resonate with me are um perfectionism control um food scarcity. So going through the those modules and there were just so many moments where I was like oh my gosh yes like this is so me like I know I'm a perfectionist in you know my work and different things but I don't even think about how it affects your food and you know like so many aspects of your life and the food scarcity stuff um like I knew it was in the back of my head but then like going through that whole section there were so many things that it was like whoa I've just like never dealt with all of this you know yeah and I would call my sister like am I crazy like did you experience this too you know we lived in the same house there were little things like my mom my parents didn't have a lot of money growing up so there were things like we didn't go out to eat much but when we did like like I remember going we'd go to McDonald's or something that was like cheap but even then my mom would be like okay everybody gets you know the 29 cent burger and that's all you know we're not getting fries and drinks and everything but I was so happy just to be able to go out and get some thing you know and I don't know it's just like crazy to think like why was that so important to me you know yes then there are other things like I would go to a friend's house and we could have unlimited whatever you know they had ice cream and um like the sugar cereals that my mom would never buy you know and you could have a couple bowls of it I was like this is amazing like I've never had two bowls of sugar cereal you know just just things like that that I'm like whoa like why why was that even like so impactful for me you know like why do I even still think about that like yeah yeah because your brain was in a state of famine like not because you were literally starved as a child but just because there were certain foods that felt scarce or felt like really special treats and then you combine that with dieting and going on cleanses and like probably restricting certain foods or trying to eat less and you put your brain into that that famine mode like we talk about in HLE where suddenly you always want to clean your plate or when you're around certain foods that feel special you feel like you want to overeat them or you can't stop eating them did you experience that as well yes absolutely yeah I've been really working on the like stopping when I'm full and it's not just because the you know it's a treat that I should keep going where before it was like well I want all of it because you know who knows when I'm gonna get that again you know now it's like no like I can have it tomorrow if I want or I can have it after dinner if I want you know whatever but it's just such a different thinking you know yeah and that's so used to totally and how you're describing it now like oh I can have it later I can have it tomorrow like that's how naturally thin people see food is like well I'm only gonna eat however much I need and I can have more later like they live in that state of abundance and this is why you know this now but for the listener why we have to actually heal those root causes in order to eat like natural eaters we can't just like eat when you're hungry stuff when you're full like we have to like go into our childhood and reprogram out of brain and nervous system level these beliefs around scarcity and control and perfectionism like you mentioned so that way it is actually easy to leave half of a cookie on your plate and move on yeah yeah I'm still working on all of it obviously of course but but I just like challenge myself with little things like okay well I have to leave at least a bite on my plate like I can do it I know I can do it you know yeah so I've been like really focusing on little things like that but seems so silly but also I'm like no it feels good to do that and you know I grew up always hearing that like you need to clear your play and you know and I still have that like oh I'm gonna throw that away so now it's like my instinct is always like I ask you know my kids or my husband like do you want this before I throw it away you know and if anybody throws food away it's like oh I shouldn't be throwing that away but like well it's not gonna help me to eat it you know like totally it's not helping anybody you know to for me to eat it or them if they're not hungry or whatever you know yeah it's waste it goes to waste in the trash or on your body yeah on someone else's body yeah exactly totally what other like wins or moments did you have along your journey that you were really proud of yourself for experiencing and healing um I would say one like aha moment that isn't necessarily like I'm proud of it's almost like I think it's more of a thank you to you I remember talking to you about the tracker and I was and this was I think I was like 11 weeks in by the time this came up and I was really did not want to do the tracker I did it the first like week or two when I started the program and I was so just oh repulsed by it like I just I just couldn't do it it was just a like I had said to you it was like a chore it was just one more thing that I had to do and so you like just kept asking questions and digging deeper and it came to myself worth and like yeah it's because I don't prioritize myself and take that time to sit and eat without multitasking like everything I do I I'm like always multitasking and you were like okay it's so five or ten minutes you can't stop and just eat a meal and you know like nourish your body and it was like oh my gosh this is just like pathetic that I won't do that that I haven't been doing that you know and then so the next day I was like okay the tracker is on I'm doing the tracker every meal like I whatever it is it was either you know all things come wait for ten minutes and they're not going anywhere and it really opened my eyes to like everything I do is like five things at once you know I never like take the time to just do one thing that's just for me or you know like I constantly have to be doing all kinds of things everything you know I always have to be marking things off my list and yeah so yeah that was like a huge thing for me that I'm every day I think about it like yeah no I can go and have breakfast and sit down with my family and you know just eat only eat yeah answer two emails and eat and work on this and you know and and and yes exactly and our relationship with food is always a reflection of our life and the things that we're noticing showing up in our eating are often showing up in other places in our life too and so it sounds like for you that was a huge moment not just of realizing what was like out of order with food but also potentially in your life where things are being stacked and there's lots of multitasking and maybe not a lot of like presence or slowing down which I know we talk about this is a lot of times connected to our nervous system just not feeling safe to slow down and we like the intensity and the stimulation because it distracts us from having to actually feel what's coming up in our life and in our bodies yes so proud of you definitely not one to feel my feeling so that has been a challenge I'm still working on that and I'm going to for a long time I'm sure but it's good I'm finally like wow like why didn't you know if I felt like I was gonna cry like why didn't I just cry yeah why do I feel so like shameful to cry you know yes strange yeah well it's protection you know like I'm ever feeling the same way like it's just that your system didn't feel safe tapping into those feelings like it's a very vulnerable place to be in our feeling state and not in a thinking state and I would say we overthink when we under feel but the reason why we overthink is because we feel like we have to for our safety and our protection and dropping into that feeling can feel very vulnerable and scary but now you're doing it you're learning how to actually be with those feelings so that way you don't need to use food to avoid them yes so good yeah and what are the tangible wins or takeaways did you have what things physically shifted in your your body or your just relationship with food that you feel are important to share um let's see I feel like I'm not constantly well I wasn't constantly I guess I wouldn't say but um like before I would wake up and it was always like body checking you know and I don't do that kind of thing so much like I still am like looking in the mirror at you know I am or whatever, but it's not that it's not the same like obsession Mm-hmm and unhealthy, you know, it was like unhealthy. Yeah, really yeah So and just the like obsessing about food thinking about food 24/7 That's just so unnecessary When I look back now, I'm like I just like consumed me, you know, yeah, the food noise Yeah, it's just like you feel so much lighter without all of that and now I'm like Start working and it's just you know it continue my day and then I'm like oh, I feel I feel hungry Oh, you know, and you like just tap into that a little bit like okay I'm not like starving so I can go a little bit longer, you know, but before it was that was never In my mind it was oh, it's 12 I get to go and eat, you know Like why was it ever on a time? It's just so great. I mean, I guess some people it has to be a little bit, you know With their works schedule or whatever, but But in general like to always eat just because it's time, you know, it's just Crazy, yeah, totally so sounds like a lot of that food noise has diminished or gone down where you're not like setting up your life around food or thinking about food all day But really you're focusing on your life and who does there to actually fuel your life and bring energy Of course, it's pleasurable, but it's not like the highlight of your entire day Yeah, yeah, and as soon as I joined HLE I know you had said like you should stop like following all these different things Oh my gosh, that was just like the best thing ever I like literally went on Instagram unfollowed like all the different, you know Dining things and all the different things and now I'm like, whoa my feet seem so boring You know like there's not like all this stuff. I was like, you know So interested in but it's like well, why was I really interested in that so much? It's sad, you know Yeah, yeah, like oh well, I've like replaced things with like hobbies and different things that I actually want to do You know, I'm like oh, I'm gonna follow this artist that does painting because I want to start painting or you know like different things that I'm like Oh my gosh, this is like such a shift in your thinking. Yeah So I'll be about food and Exactly. Yeah, you're embodying the energy of someone who doesn't have a food problem Like a naturally thin person who's not spending their day thinking about what I eat in a day videos or their protein Like they're in their life. They're in their hobbies. They're of course they have stressors and stuff too But they're not thinking about food or centering their life around food and in order to get to that place We have to actually like detox our life from the food being the hobby or nutrition being the hobby and start to actually fill our time in our lives with Things that are different than that Yes, so big I know that's yeah, it's so good and just all the little um rules that I had around eating Oh, I just had you in the back of my mind every day like No, you don't need to restrict that. No, it's okay to eat cheese It's okay to have some ice cream. It's okay to you know like all the little things. I'm like gosh Why was I doing this to myself? Why didn't I allow myself to have bread with a hamburger like a hamburger is not a hamburger without the bun? You know Yes, and it's okay like sometimes I will be like well, I'm not super hungry. I don't necessarily want You know the bun on the burgers maybe I'll just have a burger salad and I'm okay with that You know, but it's a choice I'm making. It's not because there's this rule that I'm not allowed to have bread, you know Yes exactly and maybe before you were scared of having cheese or bread or ice cream or those foods because you thought they were gonna make you gain weight and tell me how it feels now to know that that's not the truth and you can eat them and still live in a body that feels good to you It's so liberating. Yeah, it's um It's like seriously like I can't even believe that I had all these stupid rules They weren't helping anything, you know Yeah, yeah, I just like got rid of all of that stuff and now I'm like oh my gosh, I get to have ice cream I get to eat that, you know if my kids are like oh, that's got ice cream I'm not like oh, well, I only get to get the tiny size You know, I'm like no, I can get whatever size and if I don't eat it all Bye, that's fine. Yeah, yes exactly and it's not the um Like the food freedom concept of just like eat whatever whenever like just love your body It's let's learn how to eat regular real food within the boundaries of the body like if you have hunger available for a big ice cream Then have the big ice cream, but just like you said you know when to stop eating because you're listening to that internal guy That you have instead of all those rules that you used to have around food Yeah, I remember you saying one time to somebody If you want a ice cream for dinner eat ice cream for dinner like that's okay So I always and like well Ashlyn said that I can do this, you know, it's like I can Yes, just need to listen to when I'm full and so and it's not like I'm gonna eat ice cream every night for dinner You know like you start prioritizing like well, I want to eat healthy So it's my choice now if I want to have ice cream for dinner, but really like that's not what my body is wanting You know, like it's okay to do that every once in a while, but really I'm Probably we're gonna do that and just have ice cream for dinner because it's really not what I Want you know, yes, it's just that like but I can if I want to Yes exactly and it isn't it funny how when you feel like you actually can do it and you're not scared of it anymore That you don't even want it as much as you did before Yeah Amazing, I love that so many huge wins. I'm so proud of you, Sean Tell for everything that you've shifted through and I know that your journey is only going to continue from here I think one of the tell me if you resonate with this one of the best things for me was Realizing like oh, I'm never gonna have to go on a diet again like this is actually just the end of it Like it's gonna take me some time to fully put in the reps and like get the healing under my belt Remember thinking that really on but it was like oh, I'm I'm done like this is the path I just need to like keep going and I don't need to do anything else Yes, absolutely. Yeah, I'll even see post sometimes on Instagram about you know whatever Some crazy workout or whatever and I'm like Like for a moment. I'm enticed and then I'm like no, I don't need to go and read all about what she's doing To lose 10 pounds in a week like And I just pass right by it, you know so good. You're still so good And it's like there's definitely that Am I gonna really lose all the weight that I want to But then I'm also like conf- like I sit back and think about it and I'm confident but like Yes, maybe I'm not gonna get to like that exact pound But I'm gonna feel better in my body. I'm gonna be tuned into my body and you know, so It's just like a different like I don't it doesn't matter if I'm That exact weight. Yes, I'm gonna take that off the plate is you know It doesn't have to be about a certain number anymore. I'm not weighing myself, you know every day or any of that anymore So good. You've surrendered to your body being the weight that it's meant to be at the end of the process Right so yeah, and I know I still have lots of work and but I'm like excited for that work You know, I'm going back through the program Because I feel like I did it but was skeptical throughout it and like is it really gonna work, you know And so now I'm like excited to go back through and really like deep dive into certain sections where I feel like maybe I just Not skimmed over it, but didn't really you know get all of it. So Yeah, I'm like every little bit is just gonna help more and I'm just gonna progress, you know Even more Exactly. I love that so much. I'm so excited for you to get even more out of it Yeah What would you say to someone who is maybe considering joining Heartlead eating maybe they're on the fence and they're not sure is is there anything that you would want them to know Um do it just do it like seriously like You're gonna have hesitations and even throughout it. You're gonna question it probably but It's so worth it and there's like no doubt my mind that everybody can get something out of this program um And yeah, I'm sure it's like different for everybody that there's also like a lot of things that I think are similar for a lot of people And just like hearing other people's Experience with it sitting on the calls, you know with the coaching like there were a lot of times where I mean most of the time I didn't ask any questions But I got so much out of everybody else's questions and you coaching them and And just you are so dedicated to it like you had an answer for everything like there were things where I'm like Oh, how should you answer this this one's a tough one and then you had some brilliant response like oh my gosh She just like never skips me. She always has a great answer for everything really Thank you Yeah, I definitely am like just do it like it's such a great program and it's so simple That's what I love about it. It's really like You feel like it's so hard, but Once you really dive into it, it's like oh, it's so simple and you don't need it anything to do it. You don't need to, you know, like, wait, or you know, nothing. Yeah, food scale. You and your body and to start tuning into your body and feeling your feelings and exactly. So great. So good. And what about to your past self, like if you can go visit Younger's on Tell Who is in the depths of struggling with all the diets and the cleanses and all the things, is there anything that you would want her to know? Gosh, I wish you knew about this program so much earlier. Seriously, like, I think back like, how sad that I would treat myself the way that I didn't talk to myself the way that I did. And, you know, like one of the modules where you, like, go back to your inner critic and all of that was, yeah, a very eye opening. It was like, oh, it's sad because I think I put like, I think about my kids and like, if they were how I was as a kid, you know, I'm like, gosh, that's terrible that I would never want them to, you know, say the things that I said to myself as a kid or feel those feelings and, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that. Well, I'm so glad that you are here and that you decided to bravely take the leap and try something new and join a random online program with the girl that you didn't know. I'm so glad you trusted me and I'm just so proud of you for how far you've come and all the work that you've done. And thank you for sharing your story here today. I know so many people are going to benefit from hearing it. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you, Ash and I so appreciate you and all that you're, you know, your time and energy that you put into this and I'm probably going to join the alumni group. I want to start like going through the program, but I'm like, okay, I think that I will, I'm an obviously I'll benefit from it, but and just like a deeper level with people who are, you know, like really going through it and have been through the full program and yeah, totally. I would love to support you there. I feel like a little alumni, like, I don't want to use the word cult, but it kind of does feel like that because we're all just like gotten so close together and would love to support you there even more deeply. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. I'll definitely be in touch. Amazing. I love you so much. Oh, thank you. I love you too. I appreciate you so much. you