How to Navigate Life’s Big Transitions with Oprah and Bestselling Author Jim Collins

So I had you all many revelations reading this book. The key question is not what you are good at, but what are you encoded for? Yep. Y'all, it's a different way of looking at your life. Not what are you good at, but what you are encoded for. Hi, everybody. I'm so glad to be with you here on the Oprah podcast, and I'm excited today for you to learn from the man who's sitting with me. Jim Collins is a renowned business writer. He is a researcher whose many books, including his number one New York Times bestseller. If anybody's in business, you've read his book Good to Great, but he says his most recent research project that he spent 10 years working on, turned almost everything that he believes on its head, and that research has now culminated in this groundbreaking new book What to Make of a Life. And before we get started, I wanted to say that when I first read Good to Great, remember I think it was around 2004. It was exactly that. Was it? Yeah. Okay, I was so charged up by it that I asked you to come to Chicago and speak to my entire staff. Yeah. Hundreds of people. Yeah. Right? Yeah. And I can't tell you how many times I've said, let's confront the number of facts. Yeah. Yeah. So so many times over the years, I was so inspired by that book. Yeah. Thank you. Yes. And it's wonderful to see you again. It's wonderful to see you again. Yeah. Thank you for coming all the way to my front porch. It's a very to wonderful part. Jim Collins is a business writer, prolific researcher and author. He is best known for his runaway bestseller Good to Great, which sold by a million copies worldwide and became like a Bible for many business leaders. In his new book What to Make of a Life. Jim asks readers to think about their own unique skills and natural gifts and to recognize the intrinsic value of major life transitions. He makes the distinction that what you are good at may be very different from what you are wired to do with your unique innate abilities and passions. He hopes to help you answer this question. What is your code for what to make of your own life? We often ask the question here on on this podcast of what makes a meaningful life. And I just have to say I was intrigued. I was inspired. I was fascinated by every story in this book and the way you researched and you where you analyze what makes a meaningful life. That's what this book is all about for all the notable people that you talk to. And this is what I want to say to you all. No matter where you are, what stage you are in your life, this book is going to apply to you because we all have a life we all want to have meaningful lives. And I look forward to watching this become a bestseller because I think this is a book that should be on people's bedside. You know, you go and you read it and you come back to it and come back to it. Why did you come up with this idea for what makes a meaningful life? I love that title. What to make of a life. You know, what's interesting too is that for a long time I didn't have the title. Yeah. So I was afraid we'll never publish because I'll never find the title. Yes. But it was buried in the text. You know, what's interesting is I think some people are going to be surprised because I've done all the stuff studying companies and so forth. And why am I looking at the question of life? And as you know, from reading, it just has really deep personal seats for me. In the book, Jim describes Cliffs as a time of major life transitions. He explains fog as the period of confusion and uncertainty that typically follows a cliff. Jim believes being in frame means you are in alignment with your natural gifts. And finally, he sees encodings as the essence of what makes you you. So I want to start here. You tell the story of being in Hawaii. Yeah. And it was your wife Joanne. Yeah. Who seated the idea for studying how people move through their cliffs in life. That's right. So can you tell us the Iron Man story? Yeah. So Joanne, we've been married 45 years now. And back in the 1980s, Joanne was a war class athlete. And there's this thing called the Iron Man. And of course, we all know what the Iron Man is. And Joanne was not just doing the Iron Man. She was competing to win. And she was so wonderfully made for it. She's a competitor by nature and an incredible athlete, so well in frame with it. But in her 1985 race, where she did win the World Championship, she had this lingering hamstring injury. And in that race, actually, there was an amazing thing to watch because she had this 10 minute lead with about 10 miles to go. You write her that so beautifully. She had like a 10 minute lead. And then the 9 minute lead. And then 8 minute, exactly. And the hamstring caught up and she ended up, of course, winning the race, but by only about 90 seconds. And the main thing is the hamstring injury never healed. And here, she had this thing that defined her. She was so beautifully made for. She was so exquisite at doing it. And it was being ripped away from her by this injury. And so one morning, we're sitting at our little kitchen table. And she said simply, just gasped. It was a gasp. She said, I feel like I'm dying because this thing that defined her, imagine if you could never have another conversation. Right? She's like, I'm dying. And I had no answer. One phase of her life was ending. And I think that's when the seed of people go through cliffs where life as you knew it has changed in some fundamental way. Something inalterable has happened. And you have to confront the question, well, now what to make of a life? Now that that's done. Now that that's over. Now that this is so changed under my feet. And I think that's when the seed of looking at these people through the lens of their cliffs. Yes. That's why I love this book so much is because it demonstrates story after the story that nobody gets through life without a cliff. No one. No one we studied anyways. No one you study. And I conclude that nobody gets through life without a cliff. Yes. So if you're living a life, you're going to have a cliff. And so the thing is to be prepared for not only be prepared for what you do when the cliff comes. That's right. So let's go back to your first cliff. You begin what to make of a life. It makes me emotional thinking about you going back to visit your father. So let's start with that story. Can you tell us the story when you were in high school? You took a long bus ride. I sure did. Did you visit your father? Yeah. So I think the deepest seeds of this go back to that. My father makes me so emotional thinking about you as a young boy. And my dad, I so desperately wanted my father to be a father. And he had taken us off to San Francisco and the middle of the Heydashbury in the 1960s and it ended up not just the summer of love. It was also a violent. My mom finally took me and my brother and myself back to our back to Boulder where we'd come from Colorado. We lived in this ice cold basement and we didn't have a Christmas tree. But so your mom had decided that's whatever your craziness is. I'm going to be better off being a single mother. Yeah. And she took the boys and and left. Yeah. Yeah. My mom's just doing the best she can in this really cold basement. And this entire time though, I just had this, I really hoped, desperately hoped my father would reappear. Doesn't every kid. Yeah. It's like I want a father. Yeah. And so in early high school, I made this little pilgrimage down. My father was living in an Adobe hut with a dirt floor in New Mexico. And I had this kind of romantic idea. Like I had this thought, I'm going to bring it was around Thanksgiving. I'm going to bring him a turkey. And so I got this, it was like early high school, maybe like 10th grade. I think it's basically what it was. Yeah. And I got this pre-packaged turkey and you can picture me, right? And I get on this green hump bus from Colorado down to New Mexico. And I'm going down to the Adobe hut with the dirt floor and the wood stove. And I had this romantic image that I would bring this turkey. My father and I would cook it in the wood stove. My father would emerge as a father. And I don't know what. And he's going to be so happy that you're bringing the turkey. Exactly. And you write it so beautifully, Jim. That's why I'm so emotional because as I was reading it, I thought, well, this is like a scene out of a movie. Yeah. Yeah. It's, yeah. Not a happy part of the movie. Yeah. And so, and then, and I get there. And what's so etched in my mind is that whole weekend, my father never asked a question about me that I can recall. And he mainly spent the weekend talking about how hard his mom had made his life. Yeah. And trying to get me to convince her to give him money. So he, you're, you're the son. You go back to see your father. You're excited to see your father. And he's like how to get your mom, my grandmother, his mom, yeah, to give him money. To give him money. Yeah. And I had this, that's when I had this shadowing realization, there will never be a father there. And when I got back on that bus going back north to Colorado, that's when for me, my father died while he was still alive. And I, and that was the seed. It's like, I'm, I'm, I'm what, a 15-year-old kid or whatever. Yeah. [BLANK_AUDIO] looking out at sort of the fog of life, I have no idea how to do it. I have no male role models, I have no sense for how you find your way in the world, what to do with a single life, you only get one of them. And I was just heading out into the murk completely unguided. And I think that's when to see like I was trying to figure out what to make of a life as a 15-year-old kid, I had no idea, I had no idea how to have an idea. So here's what you write about Cliffs on Page 154, you say the Cliffs of Life can take many forms and those of you who are listening and watching to us, you may recognize yourself in some of these forms. In the lives we studied in our own lives, here's a short list of possible Cliffs that can hit a life, mourning the end of a significant relationship, experiencing a dramatic change in personal finances, dealing with a healthy vendor diagnosis, feeling upended by a natural disaster, getting fired or laid off, seeing demand for your work, job, profession, dry up, discovering that someone important is untrustworthy. Oh my god, betrayals. Really are Cliffs for people. Reeling from a business or professional setback, losing an incredibly important person in your life, leaving behind a life defining role or impossible to replicate experience or any version of waking up to the fact that one phase of life has come to an end. That's right. You've determined there's no such thing as a Cliffless life. We even, as you know, from the material, we tried to find Cliffless lives to study and we were unsuccessful and that's when I concluded Cliffs are us. We actually, we all have them and there can also be positive Cliffs. There can be Cliffs where you achieve something and that part of life is over. So for everyone who's watching and listening to us, no such thing as a Cliffless life, it's what you do when the Cliff comes. That's right. When you get to the Cliff. That's right. And you write that a lot of people move into what you call fog. Yeah. Remember the moment we heard actor Michael J. Fox had Parkinson's disease. He'd had this giant career first with sitcom Family Ties and then the Blockbuster back to the Future series and so much more. And I thought it was so interesting how you showed us in what to make of a life. Yeah. That it was seven years from the time he was diagnosed to the time he actually told the public. Yeah. And that he was in a fog basically that whole time. Talk about that. So I expected Cliffs. Yeah, expected Cliffs, because it was kind of the study design. I was looking at people matching them at Cliffs, et cetera. What I really didn't expect was the prevalence of fog where something happens like a diagnosis or probably, I think you might have met Catherine Graham when Catherine Graham. I love Catherine Graham. Oh, boy. How can you not love Catherine Graham? And she loses her husband to manic depression. It takes his own life and all of a sudden she has the newspaper on her hands. And what I realized is that in the wake of a cliff, we observed these periods of fog where you're lost, you're befuddled, you confused, you're disoriented, you're reeling, you're uncertain. Yeah. That happened to me when I ended the Oprah show. I was in a fog for a while. Okay. So that's very interesting. Yeah. Actually, so that I know remember when we first met, you were contemplating that. Yeah. And then you decided to go over the cliff, your own cliff. Yeah. Right. Here we are today. You're on the other side of the fog. Right. But the fog. Do you mind me asking what the fog was like? The fog was terrible. I was trying to figure out I was just talking with the crew last night. We were talking about the things and the shows and the next chapters and the things that I was doing. Yeah. Trying to figure out where do I land this because I knew for certain that it was time to in the show. Yes. And the big mistake that I made was that I did not wait. I did not take the time to wait a year and figure it out. I went from one thing right into trying to build a network and trying to build a network at the same time that that I was ending the show. And so I was in a fog of what are you programming? How do you program a whole network? It's not the same thing as doing a show every day. Yeah. Yeah. And I think one of the things that I really, really want people to gain from this book is that the self-compassion for being in the fog. So first of all, if you go through a cliff, we're all going to have them. Fog's not a defect. I mean, you're Oprah. You had fog. Yeah. I made your fog. Right. And Catherine Graham is Catherine Graham had fog. Yeah. Right. And and so the that you have these periods and your experience, one of the things we learned is we need to move in small steps through the fog. Yeah. Well, this is what I learned once I was in the fog. Yeah. Exactly what you say about simple steps. Yeah. So I'm curious. Yeah. Once I was in the fog, I realized the way to get out of the fog is to take just the next right move. Exactly. Yeah. So I took this big leap instead of taking a simple step right after the show. Yeah. And then I have this big leap and now I'm trying to figure out how to get out of it. Yeah. What is the next right move? And that was simple step after simple step after simple step. That's right. Yeah. That's right. Go back to the reason why you wanted to do it in the first place and then take simple steps to get yourself out of it. And do you mind me? Yeah. I'm curious. How did you know when the fog had started to clear? So I mean, so there's this foggy period you eventually get to simply taking those next steps to get through it. And at some point, you know, you might be the fog kind of clears. How long to take you to get there and how do we a couple of years? A couple of years in your case. So years took me a couple of years. Yes. Yeah. I was going through the motions of working and still doing interviews and doing things. But I was still like this doesn't feel right. This doesn't feel right. And so I was running around the so I went from having a show where people came to me every day on the show and I decided, okay, done with that. Yeah. Now the next chapter, I'm running around the country interviewing other people. I'm like taking the crew all around the country and around the world. And I was like, well, this doesn't feel right either. So yeah. And when did the fire dim at that time or was it just my fire dimmed. My fire. I was like, this doesn't feel like this is coming from a truthful, authentic place for me. And so I'm going to end this and figure out what is the next thing to do. And was there a time you knew the fire come back? Actually, when I started doing this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is right back in frame. Right. Yeah. Okay. So I could have been in your study. Oh, 100%. I mean, we're just talking about what chapter we're in. We need to take a quick break. Next Jim explains no one has a life without cliffs. And he details the best way to work through the inevitable fog after a cliff. Welcome back to the Oprah podcast. I'm talking with best-selling author Jim Collins about his extraordinary new book, What to Make of a Life. Now, isn't that the question? I know you're going to love this book. Let's get back to it. But I think it's really important to re-emphasize that the fog is not a defect. It's a theory that people go through. That's right. Right. That's right. When you have come through the cliff period. Yep. And how do you get through the fog sooner? What would you say is the best advice for that? People might be surprised to know that it took you a couple of years. Yes. Right. You must have it all figured out. But I know that it could take you a couple of years. And the way you get through what we based learn in the study is you take these steps. Right. You're kind of wandering through the fog. And if you try to jump just because you want to get out of the fog, like I'm uncomfortable in the fog, I've got to have any answer. You just might jump right off another cliff. And so, but if you just sit still, you don't go anywhere either. So it's a matter of-- You got to take some kind of action steps. Yes. Exactly. I don't know what I don't know what's on the other side of the fog. So I just look around and write them in front of me. I'll take this step. And once I sit there, then I'll kind of look around again and I'll take the next step, you know, taking the obvious next step to step, step, step. And the fog gradually becomes to clear. But while within that, when you describe your back to this, right. So I started back-- I actually started doing super soul. I started doing interviews with thought leaders. Yeah. Because that is what really feeds my soul. That's right. And feeds my interest. And it's what I want to do to help people live better lives. So trying to do other kinds of programming was not working for me. And what part of the path out of the fog, especially if the cliff is shatteringly unexpected, then you can be really, really lost. But the whole first part of the book, you know, has to do this thing with, you know, coming into frame with your encodings, the things that-- Yeah. Well, that's what I want to talk about now. Let's talk about encodings. Exactly. And I think the key is you iterate to eventually get back in frame. And what I love about your story is, in a way, you went out and then you circled back. So go back. I did the encircled back. You did? Yeah. And now it's a different set, but the encodings, the being in frame and-- Well, let's talk about that so people know what we're talking about. So I had, you all, many revelations reading this book. And I think you, Jim, for giving us a new language, actually, for explaining the fullness of purpose. Because people, I know, put so much emphasis, you all do. And I have to every, you know, graduation speech is about to purpose your purpose, your purpose, your purpose. And I think that this is a crucial line in the book. You write. That's right. Yep. Not what What are you good at? But what you are encoded for. So can you explain how is it different in coding versus purpose? Yeah. So, encodings are like these capacities we have that await discovery through the experiences of life. And you and I have, you have a set of encodings, I have a set of encodings. And most of them, I think we will not discover when our life runs out. We just hope to discover some of them. And that what happens is it's like a constellation and then there's a window frame. And in any given moment, the frame is either not many encoding shining through or it shifts and a whole bunch of encodings are shining through the frame. And they activate and it's like it just clicks. So somebody who I know you love, I fell in love with studying 20 more years in. Yeah. I wish I had the joy that you had of knowing her, having, but one of the great joys, one of the great joys. Yeah. So she had always been about books, but when she took up that pencil, she was encoded for being an author. So encoded for being an author and it was like once it clicked, it was just like bang. And she didn't. It's higher than that. She was an editor and did it. And for other people. Exactly. And then she started to write the bluest eyes because it was a book that she wanted to read. She wanted to read herself. That's right. I wanted to write this book because I want to read this book because nobody's writing stories about black girls like this. So I'm going to write a book that I would want to read. And then when she started writing, she realized that she was not only born to write, she was encoded to write. Totally encoded. And she couldn't. There's one of my favorite little vignettes and we'll just keep with the conversation. But it's just one that's so sexy with me. She's at home writing with her number two Thai condorota, soft lead pencils. That was what she loved to write with in these lined pieces of paper. And she's writing it. And she has this sentence that has to get out, right? And one of her son's toddler's time comes up and kind of spits up on her paper. And she doesn't wipe away the spit. She keeps writing because she's like, I can wipe that away later, but the sentence can't wait. That's right. And the sentence is right here. It's right here. I can't lose this. I don't want to take the time to even wipe, wipe, wipe, wipe, spit, all right? Exactly. And let's just say this started in her 40s. She's right. And this happened. Yeah. Yeah. And actually, I think that's one of the really uplifting things about this study. You can find either a first frame or new frames later in life. So this idea that somehow, well, to be a novelist like Toni Morrison, you must have had to been doing it like from your 18. She was in her 40s, as you know. And that's when she started writing. And it was a discovery for her that I'm a writer. Yeah. And then she never stopped. Right? I mean, when she was doing what she was encoded for, I mean, she would do it until she simply couldn't anymore. That's right. Writing was the thing that fulfilled her and gave her. Yeah. And the same thing for me. I mean, I started speaking in the church when I was three, four years old. Yeah. That's how I got my validation. Yeah. I know for sure that I was encoded to communicate with people in the way that I do and to continue this trajectory of self-renewal for myself and to help other people to get it. But it started with little Bible verses, speaking in the church. So I am encoded to be a communicator. That's right. Encoded. Yeah. And it's a discovery, right? That's the thing that's different about a strength versus an encoding. You turn your encodings kind of into super-strengths, but you can make yourself strong as something by just sheer willpower and study or practice or whatever. Encodings are these discoveries that when you hit them, it's like when she picked up that pencil or when you discovered, I can ask a question, I can be in a conversation. Or when John Glenn got in an airplane for the first time, the aircraft was like a glove on his hand. Yeah. That just extension. Yeah. You were saying John Glenn and Gordon Cooper that they were not just great astronauts, but encoded to be. And totally. I mean, I don't know about you, but I'm reasonably confident that if I were on top of a spaceship, or I was in a fighter jet with somebody chasing me in the sky, trying to knock me out of the sky, my heart rate doesn't go down, right? There's John Glenn's heart rate was about the same as being on his couch watching TV and Gordon Cooper before they launched into space. Yeah. He took a nap, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that sense of their encoding to become under that incredible intensity of you actually might die the next moment and you have to perform. That's an encoding. And then they you can't even be trained for that. It just is. Yeah, it just is. And then of course, the great challenge in their life was the cliff of the end of that and had to find new things. But that's what encodings are when they quit when the when the frame clicks. And then of course, as you were describing earlier, you also know when you're out of frame, right? So the same person with the frame shifts and now you're out of frame is sort of language. And the challenge is how to get back in frame, back in frame with the encodings. I love how you light up about your friendship with Tony Morrison. Have you ever encountered a writer like that? Oh, I mean, you better be ready for some serious mental exercise. I know. When I when I finish reading her book, beloved, I remember looking her number up in the phone book or calling Nyak New York and getting her phone number. That's just when people used to be listed. There used to be a phone book girl and there used to be such a thing as a phone book with people's numbers in it anyway. And I called her and I said, Ms. Morrison, I just finished reading your book, beloved and I how extraordinary it was for me and experience it. I said, but do people tell you they have to go over the sentences? And she said, she paused and she said, well, that my dear is called reading. Yes. Yes. In that voice. In that voice. In that voice. I think it's so interesting that you would say that my eyes light up talking about her because one of the greatest lessons of the Oprah show was when she said to your eyes light up when you see me, do you use your face light up when you see me, all the mothers and the audience gas. And it's interesting to see when a kid walks in the room, your child or anybody else's child, does your face light up or that's what they're looking for. And my children used to walk in the room when they were little. I looked at them to see if they had buckled their trousers or their hair was combed or the socks were up. And so you think your affection and your deep love is on display because you're caring for them. It's not. When they see you, they see the critical face. What's wrong now. But then if you let your, as I tried from then on to let your face speak what's in your heart. Because when they walked in the room, I was glad to see them. It's just as small as that. You know, many years later, people told me that changed their interaction with their children no matter which is so important today because people are so, you know, engrossed in their phones, their kids coming in the room, you're, you're not present at all, but do your eyes light up when I come into the room. Miss Tony Morrison. Yeah. Wow. In page 173, you write, "What if your parents have expectations for what you're supposed to do?" Yeah. I know some of you are going through this, but their expectations do not fit with your encodings. What if following the expectations of your family knocks on everything that you actually want to do in your life and sends you into the fog? What if those expectations prolong the fog so that it lasts not just years, but maybe decades or maybe even your entire life, your encodings are your encodings regardless of what your parents or anyone else thinks they are or should be. And the task, first and foremost, is to trust your own encodings. Yep. I love that. Yep. Yep. But so many people are living their life based upon what somebody else's expectations are or what they think the expectation should be. And the question we should be asking is, "What am I encoded for?" Yeah. And I think actually what somebody asked me, somebody who'd read an early version of the manuscript, asked the question, "What's more important, discovering your encodings or trusting them?" And the more I thought about that, because I've just been studying the lives, I think what really stands out to me is I think we're all getting clues all the time about our encodings. We hit something and it's like, "Oh, that clicks, that feels natural," or I feel really drawn to do that. And whatever it happens to be flying jets or doing music, singing, conversing, whatever it happens to be, right? And then there are messages, voices that, well, but you should be this or you should be that. And what really stood out to me about all the people that I studied is when they got those clues and when they felt those encodings starting to come through the window, the really critical thing was they trusted them. You trusted them? You trusted them. Yeah. And they didn't know where they were necessarily leading, right? It's not that they had a plan. Yeah. It's not that they could sketch out and say, "Well, that'll leave me here in five years and ten years," or whatever. It was just, "I have to do this. I have to solve genetics puzzles. I'm really interested in these computers," as Grace Hopper was, or "I have to fly," or whatever it is. And then even if your parents are saying that we were talking earlier about John Glenn, they were initially disappointed that he became an aviator. First of all, they were afraid he might not survive, right? But the other is they hoped he would come into the family business. If he didn't do that, that he might become a doctor. And he actually had to convince them to let him get his pilot's license. And then when he decided to stay in the Marine Corps. And then go on and be a come a jet fighter pilot then eventually an astronaut his parents I think ultimately were of course very proud of him But they they had a different vision for him But what happened is when those encodings lit up when he was in that aircraft He trusted them enough to basically say I'm hewing to the encodings. Yeah, I'm trusting them And if somebody would say well, what's the plan? Yeah, the answer might be I don't know what the plan is I don't know where it will take me all I know is that if I trust these. Yeah, they will go someplace interesting Time for a short break. If you're facing a cliff in your own career You will want to hear what Jim has to say about how to navigate it back in a moment This father's day do more with dad and spend less with low prices guaranteed at the home depot Get him fired up with a new grill and accessories like the next grill five burner for just $299 So you can spend more time together while he becomes the grill master He was always meant to be or build memories with savings on top brand power tools So you can tackle projects side by side give more and do more together this father's day with help from the home depot Exclusion to fly see homekeeper dot com slash price match for details Welcome back. I hope you're as energized as I have been by this conversation with Jim Collins I cannot recommend this book enough I think you're going to have so many eyes and see the potential of your own life and career Well, we have a couple of people who have questions for you. Yes, who are joining us Matthew lives in New York state I hear you willingly jumped off a a cliff a so-called cliff. Yeah, the cliffs that we're talking about today Just last year tell us what what happened Yeah, so I had been with Nike for about 15 years and decided to step down from a role in communications that I had And it was an intentional decision for me to leave and I'm grateful for the experience But I just felt within myself that I knew that it was time to explore something else and as you've been discussing You know clips and fogs. I am certainly in a place right now of kind of Waiting through the fog without the familiar conditions that really shaped And to find my identity at my job for so long and while I'm really excited about what's ahead I'm also adjusting to not really having the same structure that I think you know I really grew up professionally over the last 15 years So Jim my question for you is you know when you're at a crossroads and the next chapter is not really defined Are there tools or disciplines that you can recommend to stay grounded during this time of transition? Yeah, yeah, it's a wonderful question and and so first of all, welcome to the fog And there's nothing wrong with you sure I was and it's for a couple of years and you might be there for a while you used to it Yeah, and and you and you have brought about your own your own cliff and you can do that I think that we've already talked about some of it with this notion of Taking the series of next best steps, right this simple stepping where I'm just gonna take the next best step the next best step And and just iterating through the fog. That's part of it It will take whatever time it takes But I would I would offer this would be a great time to reflect on your experiences and ask what have all your Experiences taught you about your encodings if you look back on so you're in your 40s, is that right? That's okay So you've got two three decades of empirical experience as to and if you kind of go back through and you were to say You know if I look at these experiences. This is when I really felt in frame These are the these are the times when when the encodings like I get if I were a picture of time of like the encodings lit up They were in this experience and this experience and this experience and those are clues as to what those encodings are because you've already Hit them in some way and also when you felt the fire at the strongest right and when those two go together You're you want to capture those and so part of it is again You just want to trust sort of it's like they're a compass as you simple except through the fog of What are those encodings when I was really lost in the fog in my 20s? I was really lost in the fog of youth I Created a little thing I called the bug book and the idea was that I had a little lab notebook And I wrote my name on the front of the lab notebook So you studied yourself. I studied myself exactly and it's I do that kind of exactly And I studied myself like a bug and what I meant by that was I made sort of observations The bug named Jim really finds meetings that go nowhere and consume all his time really irritating, right? Well, so I'm not encoded for that. I was not encoded for good political Nationations. I had no capacity to understand them and so forth and so but and then I noted some other things that happened were like when I had to make sense of something and teach it Bang all of a sudden everything clicked into frame and so this this bug book of myself as if I was studying myself that way became Kind of my guide to iterate through to eventually pop into frame and the great challenge for you is What's the next version of being in frame? It might be something really different than what you did before we have people in our study who went from Something over here to something over here, but they were both in frame John Glenn all the way to Congress all the way to Congress So you just have to find something where a big chunk of your encodings are in frame Well, I can tell you this book is going to be so helpful to you and you're going to be so inspired by Seeing the trajectory of other people's stories. Yeah, and in your forties. I mean you were a babe. Oh, you're so young You're so young. I mean the fact that what what is so inspiring to me about this book is that there's so many people in their 60s and 70s who are you know Who send the circle out and then come back and then try something new and that it's never never never never never over especially if you understand What you're encoded for and you're operating from what it is you are Really the strongest at and what you were really meant to do and not to be and how are you how your life is to be Used here on the planet. That's what I love so much about what to make of a life can give you one last little thing Something we learned is that So some of the people when they went through a cliff and they were really looking at what's next think of it is Maybe when you were a kid There was a seed of something that got planted That you never watered because your life went a different direction and you could water those seeds for a whole marvelous Next chapter in your extraordinarily young life. Thank you so much. Thank you all the best all the best So what holds people back from maximizing their encodings? so this book really changed me in so many ways working on it and One of the things that really became clear to me is Both in looking at others and in looking at yourself is The power of not judging yourself first of all not judge when you're in a cliff not judge when you're in a fog And and to not judge your encodings, right? They just are what they are the sense of self-acceptance of I'm not I'm not going to Spend a lot of time saying well, but I should have different encodings or I should be a different, you know X, Y, or Z I think that when people have whether it's the judgment of others or the self-judgment I think that makes it really hard for them to be in frame and For me and by in frame, you mean in sync in alignment with the encodings and what feature fire? It means in alignment. What you're supposed to be doing. Yeah, exactly and these people so many people are Out of alignment out of frame is that they're wanting to be something that they're not actually encoded for that's right Yeah, that's right And I think part of it is also you can let your ambition drive you out of your encodings, right? Because if you if you think why not to achieve this? Yeah, what if it's not what you're encoded for? Yeah, well, I want to just we have one more zoom Sarah joins us from Chicago. She's an AI Neuroscientist who I hear is feeling a little overwhelmed. Hi Sarah. Hi, Oprah. Hi Jim. Hey, I neuro scientists. I feel overwhelmed by that. I feel I feel overwhelmed saying AI Neuroscientist. What does that mean you what does that mean? It means I'm a neuroscientist who has built AI for 21 years now and Essentially, I look at how the brain is impacted by the use of generative AI and agetic AI so I've been doing this a really long time and your question for us today So just some context Jim Oprah, thank you for having me be part of the conversation. This past year has been one of the most transformative seasons of my life with many clips I turned 40. I Restarted my PhD after delaying it for over a decade. I moved from Canada to the US I'm helping my 15-year-old son transition into a new high school and a new country and I'm on a global book tour This isn't the first time that I've rebuilt Earlier in my life I survived cancer and sorry Jim. I'm getting a little emotional, but I left a marriage When my son was two and I raised him alone for 11 years Then my question for you is once you've lived through so many transitions and one survival feels like second nature How do you learn to truly savor a season that's calmer and do you believe everyone can do this? Wow, so the savoring of the calmer. Hi, so first of all, are you in the calmer mode now or are you still in the tumult mode? I feel like I should be in the calmer mode But it's very difficult to embrace all these wonderful things that are happening because there's also a lot of change for everyone in our family Yeah, so there are these two kind of different phases of life that we saw in the of people in the study, and they're kind of the fog phases, the tumult phases, the post-cliff phases, and then there are these phases of great clarity. And what I'm really struck by is how they really feel very, very different. In the sense that when you're coming through the cliff or you're really going through the fog, one of the questions might be, do people flourish when they're in middle of that? And actually, I don't think the answer to that is that they do. I think when you're really in the fog, and when you're really in the cliff mode, that's not a time of great flourishing. It is a time of wandering, it is a time of angst, and it's a weird kind of struggle because it's not like, well, I'm on a mountain, and I know what the mountain is, and I know what it'll take to get to the top. It's a struggle of, I'm not even really sure what mountain I'm on, or whether I even want to be in the mountains, and that's a different kind of struggle, right? And so I think that everyone is going to feel in those times that they're not really flourishing. I think that's just a brutal fact. The thing that the study teaches me is that people get to the other side, and it might take a really long time, and when they get to the other side, all of a sudden it switches from lack of clarity and befuddlement to like the searing clarity. And when you have the searing clarity back again, then the way it really feels is, I don't know if it's an interesting word, calm. It's full of energy, and a sense of movement, and a sense of sitting forward in the saddle, and a sense of like, that's like, I am now, I'm no longer bumping along, I am going, but the external is propulsion, but the internal might be more calm. In the sense that you feel like I've clicked back in frame, I'm calm with that, but my energy is incredibly directed now that I'm on the other side. And those kind of fog phases and clarity phases really stood out. And the same people can have a period of great clarity followed by fog, then followed by great clarity again. They may be fog again, and they're distinctly different in how they feel. Are you having trouble accepting the goodness that's come into your life? Are you having trouble accepting it and receiving it? I sometimes feel that the more that I do, the more I have to justify, you know, exciting book tour, exciting things with TV and all sorts of wonderful things. And I feel it's a hundred ways to future-proof your brain. It's got a giant brain on it, so it's a hundred ways to future-proof your brain, but I love what Jim shared, because I do feel a struggle to distinguish between the fog and the clarity and this pressure that I put on myself that I need to still justify. I still need to perform. Here's the one thing I'd really pass along is, you sort of don't know the outcome of the entire life until it's done. And that the flavor can change. And just, I'll just share with you a personal thing that's really changed for me. I really relate to this notion of, when you're at a certain phase of life, I used to describe it as having these hot coals in my stomach. They're like these burning fire-filled coals and almost like molten lava in there. And I think it goes back to feeling neglected by my father and for idea of other things. But like, that need, I've got to perform, I've got to deliver, I've got to rate that incredible sense. And I always used to worry that if I lost that I'd lose my drive. And what's happened, and I think it happened for the people in our study over time, is the hot molten fire did go away, but the drive didn't go away. What happened was the fire changed color to where it is more like green and yellow and warming glow that I don't need that hot molten lava in my stomach anymore. Because now I just want to wake up at 4 in the morning and jump out of bed because I so look forward to getting to do what I get to do. And what I would really hope for you is that that molten lava of perform and deliver and all that gets replaced by this sense of it someday. You say, I don't need that because the fire I have now warms me from within so strongly, and it will stay till I'm out of breath. - I love that. - Thank you so much for that, Jim. I look forward to that. - I look forward to that too. When the fire is not molten hot, but that it's just a warm, glowing presence that abides with you and carries you, and that you can enjoy, you can find great satisfaction. Because what happens when you're so into the fire and into the fire, everything that's happening becomes so intense that you aren't even able to absorb it. You're not able to absorb the book tour and what it means to have accomplished the writing of that book. You're not able to absorb what it means for your son to move to another school and that transition because you're just going from one, the velocity is so intense that you can't take it all in. And I will tell you that what you just shared is a beautiful thing. We both wish that for you. - We really do. And I wish you great success with your book. - Yes. - Thank you, Jim. Thank you, Oprah. - Thank you. - I look forward to being on the other side. - Okay, thanks, Sarah. Good luck to you. - May I ask you? - Yes. Did the color of your fire change? - Oh, absolutely. I mean, I'm just, you know, during the first of all, nothing was better. Nothing was better nor will ever replace or should the years of the Oprah show. There will never be a time like that again for me and I think for all the team members. I mean, and that's what I mean by the velocity and the intensity. And I can speak to that because I know that so many things happened at such an intense rate that I don't remember half of it. I don't remember, 'cause we were just sitting around the table the other night talking with the crew and they were saying, oh, this story, this story go, "I don't remember that, I don't remember that." 'Cause I was just going at such full speed. And so now what I have is great pure satisfaction from every conversation. So I'm not going from this conversation to the next conversation to the next conversation. I'm not trying to feel, feel, you know, 200 shows a year. I'm not trying to, you know, prove anything. And I'm, first of all, neither you nor I have anything left to prove, right? We've done it. We've, you know, reached the pinnacle of success and achieved and all of that. So everything that I do now is basically an offering to help other people see their lives in a more meaningful way and what to make of their lives. That's what it's all for for me. And I think that's because when the fire changes color and you are at this different phase, then these amazing things happen late and at this notion that somehow we have this peak when we're young and then it goes like this. Well, that's the thing I was saying the matter where you all are in your life. This book is going to be so valuable to you because I'm so shocked at the number of people who've done extraordinary things to read that in Merrill Street, most of her Academy Award nominations came after age 60. - Yeah, she did so many of them. She was, I mean, talk about somebody who's encoded. - Yes. And it has been in frame doing this for so many years and that was a place with her story. I watched every one of her films in sequence, which was very interesting. - Well, as I was reading about her films, I was saying, "God, you know what? I'm going to have myself a Merrill Street Festival." - Absolutely. - I'm going to have myself a Merrill Street Festival and watch all of those movies. - Yes, right. And you see the evolution that you can see at different phases of life, playing different roles. But what's so interesting is, I mean, she has more Oscar nominations than anybody. - Everybody. - Anybody, I like a factor of two. - Yes. - And they don't stack early. They're spread throughout and she has about half of them. - Her first one was, it was age 29. - That's right. - And then she gets all the way out into her 60s. And she has as many nominations in her 60s as when she was in her younger years per decade. It's amazing. And the fire hasn't got out. You can just see that it just gets gone. - We're all, yeah. We're just waiting for Devil Wars product to, yeah. - Okay, so I found this to be a seminal question that you posed on page 99. Stop and think for a moment, you say, "What is the relationship between work and money?" I love this, y'all are going to love this. Is the purpose of work to make money or is the purpose of money to be able to do one's work? - That's right. - Well, that depends on how we define and think about work. I think people get really caught up in the money thing. How do you flip the arrow of money, as you say? - Yeah. So that was a really critical thing for me to see was that it wasn't about just the economics. It was about what's direction, the arrowcoats. And there's so many different people that illustrate this in the study. But you know, I think about Maurice White, the founder of Earth, Wind, and Fire. And he's doing one meal a day, they cost a dollar. So a dollar a day, a meal a day, while he's getting his music going to eventually get to do Earth, Wind, and Fire. And he didn't do music to make money, but he needed money to do music. - Right. - Right. He had to do the gigs, and he had to put things in place. But then later when Earth, Wind, and Fire was really going, it was really interesting. He would do these albums with the band, but then he always took the money from that and put it back into doing more music and more spectacular performances. Oh my goodness, some of them, those performances are first. - Do you remember? - I do. (laughing) And then putting it right back in, and then those would generate economics to do more. And so it's like, if you, understand that money is fuel to do what you're encoded for that feeds the fire rather than the point is to make money. The problem is that the point is to make money and then you make money what do you do next? If the point is, as we were talking earlier, we don't need to do any of this for money. But that's not the point anyways, you never want to stop. Yeah. But I will have to say even in the years of the Oprah show, when I first started doing that show, if they told me you were not going to make any money doing this show, I would have done it. I mean, one of the most important moments of my life was doing the color purple. I did that for $35,000. And I remember when my lawyer was saying, "I'm going to ask them for 50." And I go, "No, don't ask them for 50. I'll do it for 35." Yeah. So I've never actually made any decision based on money. I've never done anything for the purpose of making money. And actually, can I just spend on just a moment on this because we have some people in our study like Robert planned from Led Zeppelin who just went on with this singing, doing amazing things late in life. And he turned down the opportunity to do one of the probably the first billion dollar reunion tour with Zeppelin. And he did so I did not to do it. And people say, "That's easy because he's already wealthy." And what I want people to understand is that Robert plants circumstances changed. But the reason he did what he did was always the same. So he started out without money, then ended up with a lot of money, but his motivation was always the same, which was to sing. And so I'm curious, if that's true for you, that the motivation has always been the same. It's just circumstances are different. Exactly. And the fact that I was encoded to do that talk show. I was encoded to do that is what allowed me to be so successful at it. It was as natural as breathing. That's right. Yeah. It's like for the most comfortable, the most in front of an audience. Okay. I want to talk about this because so many of you are going to be able to relate to this. And Jim talks about in what to make of a life, the competence doom loop. I've seen this so many times during my working career. And you write on page 111, one of the great traps of life and see if this is you. One of the great traps of life is the curse of the competence doom loop. It goes like this. You become reasonably competent at something that doesn't capture your encodings or ignite the inner fire, but it pays you well. Work hard at it, become better at it, achieve a modicum of success with it. This then leads to increased opportunities to do even more of what does not fit your encodings or ignite the inner fire. And you're getting paid even more to do it. That's that's the loop that's so many people are in that can't get themselves out. Yep. I actually have a lot of compassion for how that happens because they may have family responsibility. That's right. They may have a need to provide for others. There may be reasons for that. And so it's not like it's a defect, but once you get trapped in it, it's really hard to get out of it. Could you just get better and better paid at doing something you're not encodings? That you don't even like. Yeah. And one day you wake up to discover that years or decades have passed, you're well paid and out of frame. Yeah. The inner fire is still there, but gradually going dormant. We need to take one last break. And when we come back, the most profound change in Jim's own life after 10 years of researching what to make of a life. I am so glad you joined me here as I wrap up my conversation with the also smart, always insightful Jim Collins. If you know somebody who's navigating a major life transition, trying to find their path or maintain their inner drive, please share this episode with them. They'll be glad you did. I could talk to you all day. You're the guy to have for dinner party. You're the guy to have over, but I want to know how doing this research changed you. You do a whole list of changes, but what are the dominant ones that you feel that you've been changed by writing this book? Well, so first of all, as you know, there's a whole list in the back of like I used to believe this. I used to believe this. And now I believe that. Yes. And we don't need to repeat all those people will find those, but what were I really changed was emotionally. I think one of the ways that I that I really profoundly changed emotionally, people have been around me. It's sort of like I'm a stone that had really sharp edges. And then doing this study was like water going over that stone and softening off the sides of those edges. And now the stone is maybe still got some edges on there, but it's smoother, right? It's a smoother stone. And what happened? And that's like how my emotional sort of was like this. So you soften. I soften tremendously and a couple less judgmental of other people and their choices in their lives and their everything. Exactly. So one is just the increased sense of understanding and not an instinct to judge people for being in the fog, to judge people for being in a cliff, to judge people for it might take them a while to find their way even when they're young, right? Some of our people didn't come into frame until their 30s or 40s. Because you say the fog of youth, the fog of disappointment, the fog of success, and the fog of retirement for those who take that. The fog of retirement. Yeah, exactly. And that then led to I guess two things that really one is I used to spend a lot of my life feeling frustrated with what people are not. And people around me suffered for that. People who were on my team, people in my life, frustrated with what they are not. And in most degrees, just frustrated that they're not more like me, right? That's not very helpful. And what the study taught me as I, as I, we can't look at these lives and we can realize how different they are and how much they're such these beautiful expressions of their own encodings and what these are fire. And these amazing things that they did late in life. I mean, that's again, just one of the biggest things that I want people to accept that about 60, like that's when it really goes off and there's a big creed of things happen. So there's a notion of retiring at 65 as a terrible notion? Oh, it doesn't fit with their lives. Yeah, yeah. But what happened is as I began to realize that the amazing thing that the people I studied were how they were such marvelous expressions of their encodings and their fire and how it played out and how they went through the clips and found new versions of it if their life changed. I began to look at the people in my own life and I began to look at them differently. I began to look at them as instead of feeling frustrated what they were not, I began to be able to see what they are and what they're really encoded for. And then my shift became one where it was like instead of frustration, it was almost the sense of awe, and look at that, that person's encoded for this. That is marvelous. That is spectacular. That is beautiful. And so I shifted from feeling frustrated what people are not to feeling grateful for what people are. And I can't even begin to describe how significant that has been for me. I live better that way. But the other is for the people in my life that my basic experience of them is I'm grateful for what they are. Is that wanting them to be something they can't be anyway? Exactly. Yes. And then they flourished. Yeah. And so that was huge. And then the other is all the way back to the beginning of our conversation, one of the biggest transformations for me was I understood why my father never got out of the fog, why my father ended up not being able to be a father. And even though my father died many years ago, I was only 23 when he died. He was 48. And I carried this rage and anger. And by the end of this, one of the biggest transformation for me was I was able to forgive my father for being who he was. For being who he was, but also an understanding of the terrible cliff that had hit his life when he was a young boy. And that how he didn't have the knowledge of this book that would allow him to get past that. So he actually lived in the fog until he died. Until life. That's right. As people can do. As people can do. They hit the cliff and they never come out of it and they stay in the fog. Yeah. And when I wrote the last page of the book, which is about me finally seen my father in a different light, I'm sitting there and I wrote the story and I wrote what is the last paragraph of the book. I didn't plan to be the last paragraph. I just when I wrote it, I knew. Right there it was. I knew that's the lessons. And as soon as I wrote put the period on, I uncontrollably broke down and I cried for an hour. I cried for an hour because it was like this decades of release that came and I was able to embrace my long dead father. And I really wish I could have given him what's in here, but I couldn't. Right. I can't go back and give it to him, but I understand how he ended up in the fog and never got out. And now my main feeling for my father is not rage, but real compassion and deep sadness. And that has been an utterly wonderful gift and transformation for me. When I did the audio recording of the book, when I got to that last page, I was like, I don't think I can get through this without crying. Like we had like, stop, pause, but it was this huge catharsis. Well, I thank you for writing the book. Yep. Thank you so much for joining me here on my front porch. You know, I have to say, when I heard that you wanted to have a conversation, I thought back to our time together in Chicago, and I just thought to be in your hands as a conversationalist, and to chance to just be with you again, and that you would read my work. - Not only me, I'm just so grateful. - I told you, we're all like passing it around to each other. I can't recommend this with a greater regard. I think it's gonna make a real difference in your life, reading about other lives, and also understanding what your own encodings are, and what to make of a life is available wherever books are sold. It's a great guide for anybody at any age or any stage of life. A big thanks to Matthew and Sarah, thanks for zooming in with us, and thank you all for listening and watching. Go well. You can subscribe to the over podcast on YouTube, and follow us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen. I'll see you next week. Thanks everybody. [BLANK_AUDIO]