How to Manage the Weekends (Without Derailing Your Progress)

[Music] Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Fit Puzzled Podcast where we talk common sense about health and fitness in midlife, how to look after your body and your mind at this stage of life, how to move, how to eat and focusing only on what's proven by science to work. So today's episode came from a conversation inside the Fit Puzzled of Group just this morning as I recorded this where one member and we have a lot of new joiners who are coming in, voicing their challenges and the things that they've struggled with over the years. And one member said, "If I didn't have weekends and a social life weight loss would be much easier." And I just thought, "Well, there is a topic for the podcast because I think a huge number of women feel exactly the same as this lady." Because Monday to Friday can feel very manageable. Routine is in place, meals are all planned. We need to be organized because we're so busy during the week. So life is more predictable. Then the weekend rolls around and suddenly there is no plan and we have dinners out, offers of drinks, takeaways, birthdays. Maybe we have some visitors or nights away and it can just feel like everything unravels in the space of 48 hours. And we're back to square one, come Monday. So I think people often feel like weekends are the reason that they're stuck. They're being so good all week and still you're not seeing progress and that's often, very, very often because the weekends are the thing that's letting you down. So I thought it would really be a good idea to talk about this right now because this time of year in particular is when everyone's coming out of hibernation mode really after the winter and we've all got social events on. We have communion's, confirmations, weddings and just, you know, barbecues, the weather is good. We just feel like we want to get out and do fun stuff which is amazing and we should do that. We shouldn't hide away just because we're on a diet or we're trying to lose weight or we're in a calorie deficit. We need to have a life, but we need to be able to find a strategy that helps us, you know, locate that sweet spot between progress and sustainability. This is a very general team across all of my podcast episodes. Where is that sweet spot between progress and sustainability because if it's not sustainable, you're not going to make progress. And, but you, yes, you do need to see progress. So if your weekends are holding you back from seeing that progress, you will give up. So where is that sweet spot? That's what we're going to discuss today. And some coaches will say the answer to this conundrum about the weekends is that you just need to be stricter. You need to have discipline. You need to, you know, take your goals seriously and think about, you know, employing some willpower. But personally, I don't think that works very well in the long term because if your routine completely falls apart, the minute anything from your real life enters the scene, eventually you will end up stuck in this cycle of trying to be good and then going after ails when something crops up. What you want is a routine that's going to slot in around your lifestyle and allow for social events and nights out and meals out. They should all be a part of your plan. It shouldn't be that you're on plan and then you're off plan every time you have a social event. That's just not the way to make it sustainable. And actually, if you are going to like a communion or a confirmation or a wedding, I did a full episode on that this time last year because I had just returned from my one of my best friends weddings and I thought, this is a challenge for so many people, you know, they're going to weddings, communities and all the rest of it. So we did an episode on this last year in May and you could just scroll back to that episode as cold as cold. How to avoid self sabotage at social events, something like that. And about this time last year. So if you do have a wedding coming off or, you know, you're going away for a weekend for an event, go back and find that episode because it's really useful. And a lot of the same points apply here, but this is just generally about every weekend. How do we approach our weekends? And I talked recently on Instagram about this, my Friday night routine, which I shared, sometimes I feel silly sharing my own routine online, but it actually resonated with a lot of people and they commented a lot and liked it. So I thought I would share it here as well because for years now, and this is not the same as maybe your standards coach, but for at least the last four years, every Friday night, I have either gone out for dinner or had to take out with my husband Davis. And sometimes the kids these days, they don't want to join us anymore because they're teenagers now. They're too cool. But we used to always go to our local the 12 on a Friday evening for our dinner. Now it's just David and me. We go together on a Friday evening and we'll bring a takeaway home for the kids or else we will just have a drink in the 12 and we will bring a takeaway home for the kids or somewhere else. Sometimes we go further afield, but it's a routine and I do this every Friday, whether I'm in a calorie deficit or not. And actually, especially if I am in a calorie deficit, I will ensure that we plan a night out every Friday night. And I encourage my members to do this as well. And let's say actually don't want it. That's fine. I know some people are surprised when I say this because it's still this idea that being healthy means being perfect all the time. But I have just never approached it like that. And I also never call it a cheat meal. I just hate that term cheat, C H E A T I call it a treat meal T or E A T. It's a treat, intentional treat. And I don't feel bad about it. And a cheat meal would imply that it's a bad thing, but there is nothing wrong with having one meal out of all the 21 meals you have in a week. One meal out is not going to do you rail your progress. So what actually does do rail your progress is if you call it a cheat meal, then you're implying that you should feel guilty about that. And what happens then is you eat the meal, you feel guilty about eating the meal. And then you think, well, it ruined it now. So it may as well go and get an ice cream on the way home or have another few drinks and go all out and start again on Monday. And that's when one evening out turns into a three day stint of overeating or over drinking or just feeling miserable. And we don't need to feel any guilt or shame about having one meal out per week. So for me, Friday night out is just Friday night out. It's part of my usual routine. It's not a big thing. It's built into my week. There's no drama and there's no sense that I need to compensate for it after it. So I shared that on Instagram. You can see that post. I go into a bit more detail on the Instagram post about how exactly I approach that. But I'll give you some tips here in a short while because the way I approach weekends now doesn't mean that I completely throw the structure out the window. Like I said, it's just that one night, that one meal. And even within that meal, I still think about balance. I do it in a way that just feels realistic and enjoyable. I'm not going to go for the salad. I will order usually I'll order steak and chips or a burger. And the reason I do that is because I am always prioritising protein on my night out. I'll have gotten fiber in during the day and my other meals. I'm not going to worry too much about fiber on a night out, but I will prioritize protein. And I will go for the highest protein option on the menu. If that comes with tips, great. So I'll enjoy that meal. I'll have a little bit of, you know, intention behind it. I also know what I'm going to drink when I'm on a night out because if I have champagne or a prosecco, I will get a headache from that. And I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to do anything that makes me feel bad. And a lot of people, so this is why I often say you need to find the strategy that works for you because for a lot of people in midlife, especially alcohol just doesn't agree with them at all anymore. And even just one drink will ruin their night's sleep and therefore it's not worth it. So if that's you, then don't do what I do. Because for me, that one drink or I'll have two drinks usually. And here's my strategy. I will go for a gin and slimline tonic because I'm not going to sometimes, sometimes I do have a cocktail, but usually I will go for gin and slimline tonic because that's 50 calories. That is absolutely a treat for me, but it doesn't do much damage. Then I'll go for a glass, usually if I'm having steak and chips, I'll have a glass of red wine, a large glass with my steak and chips. And I'll just have a main course. I want to have a starter or a dessert. Because I'm choosing a big filling meal, I don't have room for dessert after that. There's no room. But if I had a salad for that main course, I'd probably still want to dessert afterwards and maybe I'd even get something on the way home or talk into some chocolate biscuits when I get home, but because I'm having the biggest meal, like really filling, I don't need anything else after that. So one main course, two drinks, that's what I have. So there's minimal damage there. I'm not going completely off the rails, but I'm totally enjoying it and indulging in that night out. Then the rest of the weekend for me are different to the days of the week. And I think that's really important. So I will have breakfast at the weekend that are different to what I did during the week, but they're actually from the fit positive app. So they are still on plan or on track. So often I'll have on a Saturday morning protein pancakes. These feel like a treat, but actually they're right on track, you know, in terms of calories and macros. That's really what we spend our life doing and what I talk about all the time on Instagram is ensuring that we have high protein, high volume, high fiber meals every day that make us feel satiated, but are delicious and enjoyable. Same thing with treats. We want them to be delicious and enjoyable, so you don't feel deprived in any way. So I still like feel like I'm having an indulgence weekend, the whole weekend, but everything else is on track except that one meal out. That's how I approach it when I'm at maintenance or in a calorie deficit, it's the same. I'll be the same. So pancakes, you know, you want to choose meals that are different to your usual weekday meals because you want to differentiate between the weekdays and the weekends, something that somebody mentioned previously. like if she doesn't have groceries in the house, she will just go out for a meal and I'm frying it out. Then there's no food in the house on Saturday morning. So she goes out for breakfast, then she goes out now, she might as well go into town, then she'll have lunch out, and she might get a takeout. Now that is going to derail your progress. If you have every meal I have for the whole weekend. So we don't want to do that. You want to have some intention behind your weekend just like you would during the week. But at the same time, it doesn't need to be the same as the weekdays. You want to have like maybe a couple of meals that are going to take a little bit longer to make that like a lasagna, we'd often have a big roast on a Sunday. I would have a glass of wine again on a Saturday night sometimes, but I would be going for the low calorie, low alcohol wine that I get in my local dunes, which is called flight by brand car to state. This is the best find ever, flight by brand car to state. It's like 75 calories, 78 calories per glass. So that's my go-to wine if I'm having wine outside of that one night down at the pub. Like this weekend, the weather's amazing. We might have a barbecue on Saturday, but in the barbecue, it's actually part of the food positive app mails. We have a cheeseburger and coleslaw and home-cost homemade chips recipe in the app that I use, that we all use. The whole family uses for our barbecue. And it's absolutely delicious. The coleslaw, especially, is really, really good. So these are meals from the app. They're on track and yes, it feels like a treat. You know, these are the things that we do in my family at the weekends to make every meal feel like a treat, but actually only one of them is off track. And that's the one when we have that takeout or the meal out. And I don't track that. By the way, I don't track that mistake in chips. I don't think there's any reason to. I just go, all right, I know that's going to be over my calories for the day. I don't really care. Because tomorrow I'm going to be back on track and I'll track my meals then again. If I'm in a calorie cost, I don't always track my meals because I'm eating from the app anyway. So I know that if I just eat the meals in the app, I'm going to be on track. I don't even need to track them. But the bottom line is we enjoy all of our meals at the weekend and we, you know, have alcohol. If we want to have alcohol, usually it's low alcohol. There are some great low alcohol craft beers now that David just bought recently. And he's been enjoying actually for ages. He's been enjoying them. But there are some great options out there in terms of craft beers that are low alcohol. So that's another nice option. I don't think any of us in midlife can handle alcohol as well as we did when we were younger. So it's just nice to know that there are options there that are less lower alcohol that you can still feel like, oh, I'm enjoying fully enjoying this barbecue and a beer. And I'm still not going to end up with a headache or hangover, ruin my night's sleep over it. So, you know, one of the things that are supposed to shift that we have in midlife is that we do start to prioritize how we're going to feel the next day. And if sleep is going to be impacted, you know, really, somebody else, and they have mentioned that this morning as well, like the cheek guards her sleep with her life and I do as well. Sleep is our superpower. If we don't sleep well, we are basically screwed the next day because, you know, what happens? If you don't have a good night's sleep, we talk about this in the sleep episodes. So if you have issues with sleep, definitely go back and find that episode. But, you know, if alcohol is one of those things that's going to impact your sleep, you really want to probably cut it down or cut it out. Because once you have a bad night's sleep the very next day, that's when the whole weekend can become a write-off. Because the next day, you're too tired to make healthy choices. You want to go, your body is low on energy. So it's going to crave the food that's highest in energy, which is sugar or simple carbs. You'll be going for McDonald's or chips or, you know, really robe-chef food. And that's not willpower either. That's biology. And just always remember this thing. It's never willpower. It's always biology. Because what happens is you're lacking in sleep. And therefore your body is craving sugar. So that's why you're going for the sugar. It's not that you're a complete failure at life. It's just your body needs sugar. It's as simple as that. So we really do need to prioritize our sleep. So be careful. And another thing is, if you do have a drink, it's about 6 p.m. And I would go home, watch a movie with the kids, with a stay-up for a few hours, and then we'll go to bed. And I think that makes a difference as well. Because during that time, I'm having loads of water, I'm rehydrating after the two drinks that I had in the pub. And I am going to bed still by 9 p.m. My sleep circadian rhythm stays the same at the weekends as it does during the week. And that's another thing that can throw you off if you are sleeping in on the weekend, because it's the weekend. That can actually make you feel more tired, than if you just continue to get up at the same time, or roughly within 60 to 90 minutes of your weekday wake-up time. That's when you want to be getting up at the weekends. So, you know, if you say, "Oh, I'm having a big lion in the morning, because I can't, it's the weekend." That can actually have the opposite effect. So the main message in all I've said so far is that we need to find that sweet spot between progress and sustainability. And for me, moderation feels better than extremes, because for me, extremes are not sustainable. Any extreme good or bad is just not going to be a sustainable approach. So you want to find an approach that involves moderation. In your food, maybe in your alcohol, you're going to eliminate it all together because it doesn't agree with you, and that's absolutely perfect. But for me, moderation with alcohol, moderation with food, moderation with exercise even feels better than any extremes. So we're always striving to find that sweet spot between progress and sustainability. Okay, so the other thing I do at weekends, just naturally, is I move a lot, because I'm not stuck at a desk all day. So I will usually, because I'm not working out usually at weekends, I will get up and go for a walk for a stay on a Saturday morning. And often it's with the dog, up on the bog, and it might be 6K, it might be 10K. And so any overindulgence from Friday night is more than balanced out by all of the movements I do throughout the weekend. So I walk a lot at the weekends. For example, the kids have a lot of activities. I'm not going to sit in a car waiting for them to come out of whatever it is they're doing. Or even at the side of a pit, I will walk around the pit. I get a pain in my back if I have to stand at the side of a pit. And it's just amazing. The amount of steps you would get from these little micro walks, while you're waiting for your kids to just walk around the car park. I did this yesterday. Most of my steps yesterday were got outside of intentional walking. It was while I was waiting for the kids. While I was at my desk, I used my walking pad. While I was programming my workout, I used my walking pad. And all of these little, little small 10 minutes lots of walks actually added up to a lot of steps over the course of the day. So, you know, you don't have to say at the weekends, "Well, I need to plan in a big walk." You can, if you feel like it, but for me, it's like, "I'll just walk a lot in every activity that's on. I'll be walking while Heidi's playing hockey. I'll go for a walk on the prom. I have to take the dog for a walk." Like, there's just a lot of walking in the weekends. And that is a great thing to do at the weekends if you're over indulging a little bit anywhere. And of course, walking, especially if it's outdoors, will help you sleep better that night. And I know, because I talk to women every day about this, that sleep can be an issue. So, it all, everything helps each other. You know, your sleep, your steps will help your sleep. Your movement throughout the day will help your mood. Your mood being better will help you make healthier choices. Like, it's just, it's all interlinked. And we can't just single one thing out and talk about her eating habits at the weekend. It all ties in together. So, steps are absolutely critical at the weekends. So, let's just talk about the restrict binge cycle, because I think a lot of, a lot of women find that weekends become difficult to stay on track, because they're actually too restrictive during the week. So, make sure, and I say this all the time, but make sure that whatever plan you are on, your calories are not too low. What I would do instead of cutting my calories if I wanted to accelerate my progress is I would increase my steps. That's a much more enjoyable way of accelerating your progress than, you know, reducing your calories. But if your calories are too low during the week, you are going to end up overeating at the weekend. Or maybe you'll be okay for a few weeks, and then you'll be completely off track. So, we don't want to make it, it's really difficult to find that sweet spot between progress and sustainability. It actually is. So, you need to kind of suck it and see, you know, try a certain calorie goal. And if you're noticing that you're feeling like restricted, then you need to increase your calories from there. So, just be careful with that. It's not the same for everyone. One person will be fine on a certain calorie goal. And another person of the same height and weight and everything could find that challenging. So, just, you know, listen to your own body. If you're starting to feel too restricted during the week, the chances are your weekends are going to go off track. So, that's a fix. You know, if you're finding that your weekends are completely off the rails, look at your weekdays as a first tip. And see, am I, like, am I really being too restrictive here during the week? Is that what's causing me to go off track at the weekends? Because if you're eating very little, trying to be extremely disciplined during the week, saying no to everything, by the time Friday evening comes around, you're mentally exhausted. And I've actually had conversations with people where they say, like, I'm just mentally exhausted when I get to Friday. And I just can't make any decisions. And I just go through the bottom of wine. [laughs] So, you know, we don't want to get to that point. So, try to make everything a little bit more sustainable and less extreme. coming up towards the weekend and then by the weekend you won't feel like you need a release from all the stress and restriction of the week. The other issue that can happen at the weekend, that can cause things to go wrong is that we have no structure. So if you don't have any intention around what you're doing at the weekend, your decisions can be reactive. You know, you've no food in the house because you didn't plan for the weekend, for example. So you maybe you got your food shopping in from Monday to Friday and you've nothing for the weekend. You've no plan, no idea of what you're going to eat, you know, no boundaries. If you don't have any boundaries around what you're going to drink, this then leads to this reactive approach. And if you're being reactive for me, if I am reactive, I would just do what everybody else is doing. I'll say, what are they having? I'll just have that. And it's not maybe not even what I want. Or if somebody else is having a beer, I'll just have a beer because I don't know what else to do. I'll just copy them. So it's much better to have a plan, but the plan needs to include enjoyment. It needs to be intentional enjoyment of whatever it is that you're doing. So if you know you're going to a barbecue, plan ahead, maybe bring one of those salads that I shared on my Instagram last week, high protein, high volume, high fiber salads, bring them as a gift for the barbecue and then have some of that along with your protein, your burger, whatever. So that your actual meal ends up being intentionally enjoyable. So another thing is the grocery shopping. Make sure that you have groceries at the weekends. Don't leave it till Sunday to go grocery shopping. If you do your groceries on a Sunday, which is very common, first of all, there's not often not much food left in the shop on a Sunday because they don't tend to stock it. Not ideal, but also if you're leaving your house empty of food Friday Saturday Sunday, that's very likely to result in eating out more than you would have planned to because there's just nothing there. You might as well just go out. Whereas if the fridge is stocked, there's automatically more balance built into the weekend and you just have a rough idea of what you're having. Make sure the meals are not the same stuff that you have during the week. You need to be enjoyable, but usually if you're on my plan, for example, they can be from the app and really, really enjoyable and indulgent. All right, so that's a couple of the things that can cause your weekends to go wrong and then some tips that can help you. And these are the things I personally find useful and I have shared with my members and they've found these things useful as well. So plan the weekend slightly ahead of time. I always say this just in time planning approach is really good. So on the Thursday, make sure you know what you're doing for the weekend or maybe on a Friday morning, go to the shop if you need to stock up on groceries. If you're going out on Friday evening or Saturday, maybe have a look at the menu in the restaurant and intentionally plan what you're going to enjoy when you're eating out. Don't go for the salad because that's not going to fill you up and then you're going to have reactive decisions after the meal ends. You're going to end up either over indulging in alcohol or over indulging in foods when you get home. Keep the protein high. Honestly, I realized at a while back that when I have a protein snack before I go to the pub on a Friday, for example, I have I don't really even want the alcohol then it's like it curbs your cravings, protein curbs your cravings for food, sugar, all of that, but it actually also curbs your cravings for alcohol. So if you're the type of person who has a struggle, mental battle every weekend, you know, with the bottle of wine and you really want to have that big bottle of rosé on the deck and the sun, maybe have a protein snack somewhere in the middle of the afternoon on Friday and notice the difference. You may not be craving the wine as much. It's very interesting and all of these things are just fascinating. Like don't ever judge yourself, just observe yourself and go that's interesting that I did that. I wonder what I could do differently next time or isn't that amazing that I didn't really feel like having any alcohol when I had that protein snack. I just find it all very fascinating. So don't ever judge yourself, just be curious, approach the whole thing with an attitude of curiosity. And I always say this to my members, like we're data scientists, that's effectively what we are. We are doing experiments on our bodies every single day, putting stuff in and seeing what happens. And you know, how do I feel? How do I sleep? What's my mood like? Do I gangway? Do I lose weight? Do I build muscle? Do I lose muscle? All of these things are outcomes of what you do, these inputs, they're the outputs, you know, and you really want to keep an eye on them for your unique body because there are general rules and we know what the science says, but you are unique still and you need to say, well, that's all great. I'm going to, you know, use that data to make a decision about what I'm going to test and then I'll test it on my own body. I will have one glass of wine with a steak on a Friday night and see how I feel. See how I sleep on the Friday night and see how I feel on the Saturday morning. Maybe for you, if you have one glass of red wine, it's going to ruin your night's sleep and it's not going to agree with you and therefore you don't have it. And you change your plan the next week. But there's never any need to feel guilty or judge yourself. And even if you do overindulge, that's fine too. Then you're learning, what did I learn from that? What did I do there that I need to not do the next time? But don't don't approach it with any judgment. That's just, there's no reason to do that and it doesn't help. It just makes, actually, it hinders your progress because if you feel bad about yourself or you feel you are self-critical or judging yourself all the time, you know, you're putting yourself down and you will end up, it'll be a self-fulfilling prophecy. You'll end up being the person that you're calling yourself, you know, and we have very negative narratives in our heads. So we want to turn that around and don't judge yourself if anything does go wrong at the weekend. We start our weekends on my membership with Friday Winds, which is a great, positive attitude with which to enter the weekend. You're looking back on the week that's just gone by and you're saying, "What how did that week go? Where did I win? What wins have I got? What went well for me this week?" And it could be as little as I hit my two leachers of water two days in a row. Or I had seven to nine hours sleep and I never used to go to bed. That really, I used to only get six hours. Now I have seven to nine. These are wins that we need to celebrate and congratulate ourselves for because we really need to turn that negative narrative around and congratulating ourselves and being positive in the way we speak to ourselves has an unbelievably positive impact on how we behave going forward. Just with kids, it's that same thing with kids. If you're constantly telling your child they're a loser, they will end up being a loser. If you're telling your child that they are capable and they're doing great and point out the things that they do well every week, you're boosting their confidence and they will feel capable of continuing that positive behavior. That's what we want to do with ourselves just like that for ourselves as well. So no guilt, no punishment. This is the other thing people do on a Monday. They'll say, "I need to punish myself for all the things I did wrong at the weekend." That won't end well either because it'll be too extreme. So you want to find that nice happy place, the sweet spot, no drama, no guilt, no shame, just back to normal regardless of whether or not you went off track. And if you enjoyed your Friday night, then great, you're on track. That's all part of us. Part of the plan are Friday night. Okay, so I think that is just about it for today. I've harped down for long enough. I hope this has been helpful for you. Just a reminder that weekends and social events and barbecues are all part of life. You don't need to sacrifice any of those things because they're part of life, but you just need to approach them with a little bit of intention and have some boundaries. Have a strategy for how you're going to approach the alcohol side of things. Prioritize protein in whatever meal you have when you're out. You don't need to be tracking a meal in a restaurant. That's just ridiculous. It's never going to be accurate. Anyways, there's no point, but maybe you don't need to have three courses. Maybe you're fine with one. You know, what are you going to do in terms of alcohol? What's your strategy? What's your drink going to be decided before you get there? Decide how many you're going to have and stick to that plan. And practice this. It might take a few goes. But practice it. We're practicing moderation. That's what we're doing. And moderation doesn't come naturally always. So we need to practice it. Give it a few runs and see how you get on. But just remember that socializing is a part of life and your plan needs to fit in with that or it will not be sustainable. So this is a huge part of what we do inside the Fit Positive Membership. It's not just about workouts and recipes, but it's the mindset of, you know, how to make this work in real life when you have crazy stuff going on. I mean, we all do in midlife is all sorts of demands being made of us as well as our social events, holidays, meals out and everything else that comes with being a normal human being. So have some give yourself some grace, approach things with intention. And if you feel like you need support with that, you will find everything that you need in one single one-stop shop inside the Fit Positive App. So you're more than welcome to join us anytime. There's no limited time frames or anything like that. You don't need to stay for any particular time frame you can join and cancel after a month if you don't like it. So hopefully we will see you inside. Otherwise, I'll see you in in the next episode. Have a great week ahead. Speak to you soon.