How to Know Who Your Real Friends Are: A Friendship Audit

- Some of the most important friendships and longest lasting friendships in our life are with women. - Female friendships. - Chimes. (humming) - I don't think I have any childhood friends that go back to six years old that I'm still friends with now, but you know who I do have. - Me, me, me, I got you! - And there were also some points where I was like, am I an alien? (laughing) I was like, wow, I am so different from them. But my first thought was I was like, they are so different. But then I took a step back and I was like, wait, I'm the different one. - I am someone who has a few close friends, and I'm loyal to the end. She's loyal babes. - I'm loyal babes, capital L. - What could I personally do to be a better friend? - Damn. - I'm Sheree. - I'm Jean. - And where are the tiger sisters? - We are your Wall Street and Silicon Valley big sisters. And we're a top 10 business podcast bringing late night sister talk meets boardroom strategy. Hi, tiger fam. Today we're diving into the beautiful and messy world of friendship. As a culture, we often talk about romantic relationship with what's the tea on who we're dating, who we're seeing, what's going on. But honestly, some of the most important friendships and longest lasting friendships in our life are with women, female friendships. Chimes, (imitates singing) beautiful chimes. Female friendships can be some of the most beautiful and deepest relationships that you have in your life, because they're there for the breakups, they're there for the career switches, they're there for the marriages, the babies, everything. And at the same time, female friendships can be very both life-affirming and complex. Today, we're getting into the good, the bad, and the messy parts of female friendships, how we define a good friend, why girls' trips can bring out the best in us and earn, honestly, very healing. Friendship group dynamics and advice on how to navigate the hard conversations so you can also be a good friend to other people. And don't you worry, we're giving friendship breakups a whole separate episode, that's gonna be part two, because that is a whole thing, that's a whole topic. That's a whole thing. Friendship breakups, not for this one, but for the next one. Yeah, the next one. This one is gonna be mostly happy and light, mostly, mostly. And don't worry, we definitely have a mini-exerciser too for you along the way. So buckle up. Okay, so let's start off this episode with Storytime. Storytime. So Shrine, I both went on Bachelorette's this past over the last two weekends. Yeah. So let's start off with Shrine, tell us about your Bachelorette and what were your main takeaways from the Bachelorette? Okay, so it wasn't my Bachelorette. Okay, wait, what's your main character? Okay, sorry, you're just always the main character. That's funny. So it's hard to, guys, I don't have an announcement. It is not my Bachelorette, but she went on A Bachelorette. Yes, so one of my best friends from Stanford's business school is getting married soon and it was her Bachelorette, which so happy to celebrate her. Guys, I'm not married, I'm not okay. And so is this past weekend and it was a group, a mix of people. I think it was around 15 women that represent different parts of her life. So childhood friends, high school friends, college friends, work friends, and then me, I'm a grad school friend. And Gina and I were just talking, it's so funny that we both went on different Bacheloretts, so close to one another. And we just kind of have some like realizations where we're like, we're around so many women. Like there's so many like things, we're like figuring out about ourselves and like looking at dynamics, which is why we want to do a friendship episode. And also interestingly, different women, very different women, some of whom we've never met before, but our best friends with our best friend. Exactly. And so I would say one of my big, big takeaways is finding your tribe. So sometimes when you see Bachelorette, you're like biggest 3am bus club, nether club. This couldn't have been more different for this group of girls. We were in Burlington, Vermont, in nature, being so wholesome. I think at 11.30 pm, everyone was like, we love you, Bachelorette, because this is her personality, but we're like, we're gonna go to bed and wake up early so we can go to a cafe and get coffee, you know. Wow, crazy. I mean, it was just not-- She's so crazy. It was just so wholesome, which I love, because I feel like for me, it was very much my vibe, but so much of my life and also friendships, I've been trying to find people who match my vibe. You know, like in college, I had that, you know, sorority and crazy partying and going out and clubbing and all that stuff. And it was like me trying to figure out if I like that, surprise, surprise, like, that's not really my vibe anymore. (laughing) But like, I guess it was just really nice to be a part of a Bachelorette where I felt like this was totally so wholesome. We were, you know, having a boat day and exploring little art shops, and it was very, very nice and had minimal alcohol. Very, like very social alcohol. It wasn't like crazy. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so it sounds like your takeaway is, there is a tribe for everyone. You just need to find your tribe of girlfriends. Yes. And like my best friend from business school, like her group of girlfriends were very much this speed, which I appreciated. I would say another takeaway that I had is that on this Bachelorette, I reconnected with another classmate of ours. And we talked about reading and books. Okay. Her sister is actually a book reviewer for the New York Times. So she's very into reading and books. She's plugged in. She's plugged in. She's on the cutting edge of books totally. And I'm not even kidding, she's amazing. I know. No way, I actually like, I say that in just, but it's actually kind of cool. It's so cool. It's so true. And so she knows like all the cool books from her sister. Okay. But we had a great conversation and like went very deep into our lives and also talked about reading. And now I'm like, we're talking about books and texting. Okay. So I think like once you meet someone and you're like, we really vibe figure out ways you can keep in contact with them. And if it's around, you know, a subject like books and reading and fiction and recommendations, like that's enough to like keep things going. And it's like a thread that you can like, you know, just hit them up on a Saturday and be like, I finished this book. You would love it. Or like, are you reading this book? I'm reading this now. Mm. Okay. I actually kind of do that because I have this one girl friend of mine who I don't see that often. But the two of us both love survivor. And I don't have that many friends that watch survivor. I don't know why. But so I send her. It's like not only the best show in the world. I don't know why more people don't watch it, but maybe after this episode, they will. Hi, Jeff Pro. Hi, Jeff Pro. Hi, Jeff. Should you give me a shirt with your face on it for Christmas? Yes. Anyway. So every survivor meme that I see, I like send to her. Yes. And I also, we went to a survivor watch party once. And that's kind of like the main thing that we do together. But it's great. I love it. It's a point to connect with someone when there's so many things you can talk about. Like, you have your besties for life. You're like, we can talk about everything. But like, if you do have like a topic or like a thing with a person, kind of like it inside joke, it's like a way to keep the friendship alive. Mm. Okay. I think the takeaway is once you find a commonality, you can keep going back to that well. Like, you don't exhaust that topic. No, because it's something that has brought you to together. Not you turning my story into a takeaway. What? You said these were takeaways. I know, but you summarize into a deeper takeaway. And then the last thing I'll say from this bachelorette that really resonated with me is just kind of seeing my best friend and all of her friends from these different parts of her life. Which I think is really, really special. She has a lot of history with some folks who have known her, you know, since she was six years old. And so I think growing up and having those threads and those people who remind you of who you are. And just like that shared history is so beautiful. And I don't think I have any like childhood friends that go back to like six years old that like, I'm still friends with now, but you know, who I do have. Me, me, me, I've got you. I've known you since you were negative years old. You've known me since I was in the world. You were in the world. So I'm like, I don't have any childhood friends, but I got you. So don't go anywhere. Yeah, I'll be here. Yes. Tiger sister's full life, full life forever. This is a full time every day for every kind of thing. Um, okay. So stop trying to summarize. Okay, to summarize. Wait, you can summarize. I know summarize. What would you say? What would you say? Um, I don't know. It sounds a little harder to summarize. You're just saying it's nice to have people who know you from different parts of your life. Yeah, I think so. Thank you for that. But I do have like, one of my best friends, her name is Isha. She knows me from our first job out of school. And so we've known each other for a decade. And through our careers as we've both evolved, she's seen me through every part of that very intimately, 'cause we've had meetings together, you know? It's like weird when like one of your friends knows you at work. They know your work personality. And you also have like your outside personality. And like if someone could know both of those, as your personality, even any different between your work and outside personality. When I was early in my career, yes. Yeah, and there was more masking, right? There was more like code switching. Yeah. Now, I mean, now it's a little bit different 'cause we work with each other. But like when I was first starting out from school, like yeah, me in the office was different than me like hanging out with friends. Yeah. And so she's kind of seen me through the progression of that. And that's really, really lovely. Mm, she's seen me. through many different haircuts, including the hair cut that I gave Shari during COVID in 2020. Or I gave her the cutest little bob that was so short if we find a photo we could share it. I thought it was so cute, but she doesn't like it that much. Well, you only think it's cute because I'm your little sister. It was the most deeply unsexy haircut of my life. I felt it. I loved it. It was crazy. I felt so bad. It was perfect for the time. It's perfect for COVID, because you could do whatever you wanted. No one really saw you, but I just felt bad. No. Okay, anyway. Okay, so you also went on a bachelorette with your very close girlfriend. What were some of your takeaways? Okay, so actually there is a bit of backstory to this. I'm going to go on a bit of a soliloquy, but I very uniquely went on two girls trips in a row one weekend after the other. Very uniquely. She has a lot of friends. What do you mean? I think it's very unique to go on two girls trips in a row. That's true. But the only reason it happened is because this past weekend, I had committed to go to my college roommate's bachelorette, which was in Maine. Then my friend from business school invited me on a girls trip that was in Portugal the weekend before, which normally West Coast to Portugal is very egregious, I think, for a long weekend. But because I was already going to Maine, I was like, "Oh, Europe is kind of on the way in a way." That is some girl mask. But also, I was very much like when Jean brought this up, she's like, "Should I go to Portugal for the weekend?" Which is like not in our repertoire at all. That's not who we are. But I was just like, hell yeah, like go for it. You know what I mean? Yolo and enjoy and have some sun, talk to girl friends. But also like going to Portugal for the weekend is like an insane thing. Yeah. But that's girl travel and that for you. Yes. But so that's why for the purposes of this episode, I actually have two different girls trips to compare and contrast and speak about. Okay, I have several takeaways that I have written down to share with you guys. So the first one is a very short one. And it's not specific to girls trips, but it's more about trips in general. And one realization that I had is, I don't know if this is, this is not like the textbook definition between the difference of these words, but I've created a distinction myself between the words holiday and vacation. So I think based on my definition, we go on a lot of vacations, especially with our mom, where vacations involve going to a new place where you want to see all, you know, see all the things and go to all the restaurants and you have reservations and you're maximizing. You're maximizing. You're waking up and you have a schedule and you have an itinerary and you want to like hit all the spots. So that's a vacation. Very go, go, go. Which is very fulfilling in its own way and, you know, soul nourishing, but it's very tiring. It's not, it's not a refreshing, I would say, versus what I call a holiday is what I did the last two weekends where for Portugal, we just went to my friend's house in the country side, which was, I didn't even see a single city in Portugal. We just like went to this tiny countryside town that she lives in and it was just four days of relaxing and very little activity where one day the main activity was that we went to the local spring to get spring water. Like that was like the itinerary. I don't think we had to do anything. We needed a water. We needed to get spring water. And same for the the bachelor which was in Maine. It was just all very relaxing and it just made me realize that there is a distinction between what I've defined as vacation versus holiday. And I do think it's important to have some time during the year to have the holiday. Yeah. To not be going to Europe and then going to see, you know, 50 different historical sites over the course of three days. I think it just depends on the person and what they enjoy and how they like to reset. I think someone's this vacation definition could be someone's holiday. It is not ours. You know, like we like to do a lot of things in our work life and we're very career driven and we're like go, go, go. So that like when we're on vacation, if we're still go, go, go. That's when I'm sometimes like, I need a vacation for my vacation. That's where it comes from. Where I'm like, I woke up at 6 a.m. then I'm at three museums, you know, in this one day and I'm like, why am I tired? I'm like, that's why, you know. So I think having a more holiday vacation is like definitely something we should both lean into more. Yeah. And I would implore, I would think that a lot of people who are, you know, part of the tiger fam and watch tiger sisters are probably pretty driven and ambitious and, you know, if they go to a new place, they want to make sure they, they see the sites, etc. I would implore you to consider also doing a holiday. Yeah. Just a vacation. I think it's also having abundance mindset to where, yes. If I'm going to a place, I am going to come back here. Yeah. So that I don't, I don't have to do all of the sites, all the touristy things because I can split it up. I know not everyone has the freedom and privilege to say that, but I'm like, at this point, I've been to Japan four times for both working and pleasure. Whoa. But I'm like, now I don't, hmm, I like, really hit you all the hip to that, like, like, but then like, you don't have to like, drive yourself crazy because I know I'm going to go back many more times that I want to. Yeah. So I can do the things and then also like find the small ways to holiday as well. Yeah. She's like, I'll, I'll be back for this hibachi place. I'll be back for this standing sushi bar for show. For show. For show. Quick pause, tiger fam. We've been using granola lately and it's been an absolute game changer. Granola is an AI powered notepad that helps you stay present during your meetings and you can look at all the notes and transcriptions after the meeting ends. It's actually so useful and you can use it for so many instances, but the one that actually me and my girlfriends were talking about this weekend is that you can actually use it for interviews. Wait, that's so true because an interview is one of those instances where you actually need to be so present. Right, so with granola, you can actually still take notes in the interview like you normally would if you want to, but granola is securely transcribing the entire meeting in the background and it turns it into these really useful notes when the meeting is over. And for an interview, I love that you come away with transcription and notes, but you're not sacrificing the need to be fully engaged the entire time. Yeah, that's my favorite part too because in the meeting or in the interview, you can be curious, you can ask better follow up questions, you can actually follow their line of thinking and dig into it more. And so it's actually just your normal meeting, but with superpowers. Yeah, I've just been in meetings where like I'm talking to someone and I'm typing at the same time and I'm like kind of like half listening, half typing. And so I think with granola, because you have the transcription, you don't have to be doing so many things at the same time. So if meetings are eating up your day, granola is a no-brainer. You can try it totally free. Just head to granola.ai/tiger-sisters. That's granola.ai/tiger-sisters to get your time back. Try it for free at granola.ai/tiger-sisters. Thanks guys. Now back to the show. Okay, I have another takeaway, which is very heartwarming and emotional. So what I realized is one of the the powerful things about girl's trips is getting to spend a lot of time together and tell each other your stories like some things you've heard before getting to know each other better. And one of the things that ends up happening is you kind of can observe each other very deeply and you can start to see how your friends perceive you, which is a really, really beautiful thing. And it's something that I found both myself doing and receiving. So for example, I was talking to my friend who was hosting us and I was kind of just like reflecting on her life journey. And I was like, friend, you are such a fearless person. Like I don't know if you know that about yourself, but you know, you have lived so many lives in your one life. It was something that I had observed about her and I was happy to share it with her. And she was so touched by that. Even though that's probably something maybe she knows about herself, but to hear it from a friend. Yeah. And hearing it from a friend like who loves you. These are girls who you love and they love you. Yeah. Like this is like real friendship. None of that like fake, undercutting weird stuff. Yes. And then my other friend who was there was kind of saying all these things to me that were very much like I realized that she was dreaming big for me. And she would say all these things. She'd be like, Oh, so are you going to, are you going to get into acting? Are you going to become an actor? Are you going to be, she was like coming up with all these dreams for me that maybe I had secretly had for myself, but it's kind of embarrassing to share with people. But it's so cool to have a friend who proactively will have those dreams and aspirations for you and share them with you. Yeah. So it was just like a really beautiful weekend to have time to do that. And then also I think it's such a privilege to have the ability to spend extended time with your girlfriends. Absolutely. Because something really comes out of it when you're spending multiple days together that would never come out if you're just having, you know, a dinner or two. Yeah. So if I'm going to summarize. If I'm going to go take away the takeaways, your takeaways, if you can. Well, I think the extended time thing is so true or like if you can go on a trip with your girlfriends, it's like, it's not just one evening, it's like the evening, the morning, the lunch, like doing thing and like also like going grocery shopping together, it's like the things that happen in the Monday. Going to the spring together to get fresh, mountain water. I think doing trips, if you can, like overnight stuff, really deep in friendships and such a more meaningful way than like a dinner every month or something like that. And then I would also say too, I've realized with my therapist that I am someone who has a few close friends and I'm loyal to the end. She's loyal babes. I'm loyal babes. She doesn't get that reference because it's from Love Island. I'm loyal babes. I'm loyal babes. But like I think I see a lot of people with like a lot of different friends and they have like 20 girlfriends and I'm like, love that for you. I kind of secretly I want it because like it looks really nice on Instagram to have like a whole ton of like girl group gang stuff but then like who I am is like I find my people who dream big for me and like really wish the best for me. And once I find that person, I'm like, you're my sister for life, not you, not this sister but you're my sister in Christ too for life. And then I really and I would say like I sometimes make a joke, I'm like, I think I have like maybe five friends or like really deep deep friendships where I'm like these women care so much about me and see me so deeply as I see them. Yeah. How would you categorize me like how I see you? No, I mean, do I have just a few friends like you very bad to cry? No. I'm not here if I are crying. Are you about to cry? No. Let's see. How do I see you? I don't know. You have to work through therapy on your own. I can't answer these questions for you. How do you see yourself? I think I think both. I think I have very deep friends but then also like yesterday you were like, you have so many girlfriends. Yeah. And I was like, I didn't think I did. I think you do have a mix of both. I think I can't really do casual, I don't do casual in any form of the word. Can I share one last takeaway? Sure. Okay. So the last takeaway that is a little bit bittersweet but I wanted to talk about it because it incited this feeling deep inside me that I think maybe some other people have but it's hard to talk about is that for the bachelorette, I was actually the only woman, I was the only girl in the bachelorette who is single and the majority of people are married and have babies. Well, they're all married except for the bachelorette who's engaged and all but one of the women had kids. And so naturally a lot of the discussion centers around their kids because that's their life and that's what they're really spending a lot of time in and that's what they have questions about. And I guess, I guess I just am not really in that situation a lot. I don't really hang out that often with groups of people that have children where that becomes the primary topic. And so I just don't have this feeling a lot but it was very much like there were points in the conversation where I obviously had nothing to add like I had just nothing to say. And there were also some points where I was like, "Am I an alien?" Like, it was just so different. It was just real your day-to-day. Of course, nobody meant anything by it, like they are all absolutely wonderful, beautiful kind people. I just was like, "Wow, I am so different from them." But my first thought was I was like, "They are so different." But then I took a step back and I was like, "Wait, I'm the different one." So I think it's easy when you maybe live in a big city like us to not feel that I'm in my mid-30s and I'm single and I don't have kids and I'm not in a serious relationship now, so I'm not necessarily on a track to do that anytime very soon. And I never feel bad about it, really, but in this instance, when you're kind of in it for multiple days in a row, you really, really, really feel the other-ness. So I don't really have, well, I guess my takeaway is that it is really important to what I've subconsciously done is to build friendships with people who are in a similar life stage as you, because I think, for a weekend, it was beautiful to celebrate my friend and hang out with all these people, but if it was my every single day where I was the only one that didn't have kids, I would feel- I think it-I would start to feel bad about it, because you just feel so different. Yeah. And then the thought spiral is, "Well, what's wrong with me?" Hmm. Yeah, let's stop that thought spiral. No, I don't have that thought spiral, really. Her eyes are glistening now, guys. They're not. But I guess for your Portugal weekend, those women are more similar life stage to you, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, even though we're all the same age. So it was funny that weekend was actually- it was really funny how fluidly we moved between talking about skincare, or this is how I set up my LLC, and I also set up an escor, and this is my lawyer you should talk to this person. It was just really free-flowing, like it could have been an episode of tiger sisters, muddy power and love. Right. I mean, I would say kudos to you for going through both weekends and coming out with really thoughtful reflections, and also, like, I guess kudos to me. Kudos to you. Kudos to me. But also, like, my first takeaway was find your tribe, and your, like, this bachelorette is not exactly your tribe at the stage in your life, which is, I think, a good thing to realize and adjust, and I know it's just a bachelorette, but it's a good thing to know about yourself. Yeah. Even though they're all beautiful, wonderful people that I would love to be better friends with. Individually. Yeah. It has a group. It's, like, y'all are mothers, and talking about your kids. And I'm an alien. Hey, TigerFam, take five seconds to subscribe to the Tiger Sisters podcast. When you subscribe, you are notified every single time a new episode drops. And if you're listening on Spotify or Apple podcasts, please rate us five stars and leave a comment about this podcast because it really helps people discover our content, and it helps us to continue to make the show for you. If you're listening to this on Spotify right now, take this opportunity to turn on the video. Thanks. Okay. I have a bonus takeaway. Okay. Let's hear it. I've never talked so much on a podcast ever, guys. Is that true? No, I'm just kidding. Someone analyze our airtime, who speaks more career gene, uh, for sure you, but, um, okay. One other takeaway I had is that during the Bachelorette, it was actually put together by my best friend, the Bachelorette sister, her younger sister, who is two years younger than her. It was so funny and lovely and heartwarming to observe their sisterly dynamic together. Even though it is very, very different than our sisterly dynamic because they're so close in age, um, that they have a lot of that like cute sister bickering that comes from being so close in age. And it just made me, it made me realize by watching them. I was like, Oh, this is why people say they enjoy watching our sisterly dynamic because it's just something that's sort of ineffable like you can't put your finger on it, you can't capture it, you can't define it. It's just the sisterly dynamic of having grown up with each other, your entire lives, where it's fun to be a part of it. Like I enjoyed just being with them when they were interacting and I was like, Oh, this is so cute. Like I felt like I was part of their family. Yeah. And so I think that might be how sometimes people feel when they're watching tiger sister sisters. And even the fact that we call it the tiger fam. Right. Like it's very, um, I got like a slice of that, yeah, or a taste of that for the first time for myself. For sure. I mean, it also goes to show that there's so many different types of family dynamics and sister relationships, like what you see on tiger sisters is one of a hundred thousand I bet of like how, you know, age comes into play and, you know, how you've grown up with someone. It reminds me of Ashton and Alex Earl because they're sister dynamic. I mean, they're much younger than both of us and, excuse me, I said both of us. And but they're closer in age to each other than we are. But and it's very public. But some of the fights that they get on to that they post on TikTok are so insane where they're like full on yelling at each other and like it's crazy like, Jean and I don't really have those fights. And if I say something with an attitude, she'll be like, you're being so mean. Like I see what Ashton and Alex do and I'm like that's mean. I'm not mean. Yeah, but she has an attitude, guys. Yeah. I'm the younger sister. I'm supposed to have an attitude. So what about me? You're the older sister. No attitude for you. But I'm like, that's like what they do with it. the kind of like the screaming yelling type of sister stuff like Gina and I don't interact that way. And I think if I did, that would be super crazy. I should try it out. Like no, maybe I should try it out. I should try it out for once. Okay, so tiger fam, before we get to the end of this episode, we do have a mini exercise, obviously, because as you're listening to the conversation that Gina and I have on friendship or takeaways, we want to turn like camera back to you and help you guys reflect on what friendship, especially friendship with women, female friendship, what it means to you. And if you're in a place where you're kind of questioning your friendships or thinking about like, what do these friendships mean? And how do they evolve? I think this is a really good place to start. Okay, so I think some questions you can ask yourself. And this could be of a girl group or an individual one on one friendship you have is. Wait, so this mini exercise is called the friendship audit, right? Okay. So the first question is, do I like who I am around this person? Yeah, that's a really good question. Let that sink in. Like, who are you truly? Are you being yourself? Are you being 80% yourself? Are you being 10% yourself? Because the more misaligned you are with your true self personhood around a person. If you do that for a long time, you're gonna go crazy. How can you tell if you like, you just feel bad when you're not being yourself around a certain person. Unless you're a really good actor, you don't give a fuck. That's how you want to live life. I don't know. That's just like not how I do deep friendships. I'm like, we need to get to a point of understanding and deepness. Like, I feel like in college, I was pretending a lot and I didn't realize that until later. But I was just like, this is not really who I am. What were you pretending to be? I guess like go out and party a lot and be a sorority girl. And I was doing it because that's what the group was doing. The crowd was doing it. That's friendships are really important to me at that time and to be a part of a group. That's what I need to do. But it's not really who I am. And then I felt kind of like, you know, like a jolt. I was like, this doesn't feel good. Okay. Another question to ask, which I think is so important is, can I tell them when I'm hurt? I think this is so important in a friendship, especially one that you really care about. If there are things that are like annoying you and there's like three that kind of add up and you haven't told this person, these pinches become a bigger crunch. So that's kind of the terminology. They're called pinches, which is why because they're small. But then they turn into resentment if you don't tell the other person. So this actually reminds me of a story that my best friend, the bachelor at retold to me this weekend, which is that so she was my freshman year roommate and our our third best friend lived down the hall from us. But we also had a bunch of friends in another dorm room. So she would spend a lot of time there. And she told me she was like, yeah, remember that time in freshman year when you and Carrie sat me down and had a conversation with me and said, you know, I think you're spending too much time in the other dorm room. Like, we don't get enough time to hang out with you and we really miss you. And I have zero memory of having this sit down with her and intervention, intervention. But when I think back on it, it must mean that we were really comfortable as friends for us to have this sit down pull her as I'd be like, you're not spending enough time with us. We really miss you. You're hanging out in the other dorms too much. Yeah. And it's just thinking back on it. It's really sweet. I mean, if you can't talk about the small things, you can't talk about the big things. So I think it's definitely a two-way street. Also, if they bring something to you, also how do you react as well? So I think that's also really important. Okay. Another friendship audit question is, can we celebrate one another without keeping score? Oh, yeah. I love to celebrate. I love celebrating with friends. You have to celebrate your friends. You have to celebrate your girlfriend's accomplishments. Yeah. I don't know. There's no room for any of like the petty stuff, the petty shit, and like trying to one up one of each other or dunk on someone. Like, I don't have any room for that in my life. Amen. Hey, guys. It came to my attention that some of you don't know. We have a matcha brand. What? A matcha brand? Yes. Like some of my friends were talking to me like, wait, you guys have a matcha brand and it's called Sisters Matcha. Gina and I started it in October 2024 and it's something that means a lot to us because I lived and worked on the farm where we source the matcha from. This matcha brand is our baby and we are so passionate about it and we really love everything that has gone into it. There's just so much love and passion that goes into our company and we want to share it with you guys. We source from a small family farm just an hour and a half outside of Kyoto called Wazuka is the name of the town and it's absolutely incredible. We've visited the farm. We've worked on the farm and we're so excited to bring it to you so you can find out more at SistersMatcha.com. That's SistersMatcha.com. Alrighty, now back to the show. Okay, two more friendship audit questions. Can the friendship survive different seasons of life and when something goes wrong, do we get curious or defensive? That's that's a really high bar. Yeah, that's a high bar for both parts. I think so, especially the first part, different seasons of life. Yeah, yeah. I mean, one of my best friends just had a baby and I'm so thrilled and happy for her, but we're moving into a different season of our friendship. I mean of her life because she has a kid now, but like of our friendship too. And I'm actually really excited to see where that goes and how that goes. You know, I mean I only see good things happening of it, but I'm like now we get to hang out with her and her kid. I'm like that's so cute. She made this thing. Yeah, that's very generous of you. Yeah. And lastly, and maybe most importantly, what could I personally do to be a better friend? Damn. Yeah. Okay, that one's like a bonus question because that's that's a lot. I mean, I. But for a good friend. Yeah, for sure. I want to be an amazing friend to someone, especially because my circle is so small. I have a lot of time for those people. If I had 25 friends, I don't know, I'd be like a mediocre friend to all of them. She is truly an amazing friend. She's always writing handwritten notes and note cards and sending flowers, buying random gifts on Amazon and websites and making gift baskets for them. She's incredible. She's a really good friend because I have a very high bar and also my friends do so much for me and making me feel supported that this is how I love to give. And like once you're in, I'm lalalaloyal. It's, I'm loyal bives. No, I like the way I say it. Okay, fine. She invented her own me. But that's just how I do friendships in my life. Yeah. Which I think is a segue into friendship breakups, which is why they hurt so much more for me because once I let you in and you're in, you're in for life. So I think in our next part two of this episode, we're going to go into kind of the difficulties, the challenges and the heartbreak of friendship breakups. Yeah. Who hears cried unconsolably from a friendship breakup? Me. You have? Yeah. I didn't know about this. Oh, well, maybe you'll find out next episode. So you were crying at this. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding. Yeah. So stay tuned for part two where we talk about the flip side. I hope you guys enjoyed this friendship episode where Jean and I were reminiscing giving our takeaways. And it was truly so lovely and beautiful. Yeah. If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with a friend, share it with your family. Do not forget to subscribe and follow because that is really, really important to keeping tiger sisters alive and growing tiger sisters. And also subscribe to our sub stack. We have new newsletter. It's tiger sisters dot sub stack dot com. It's linked in the description. And I would say if you're watching or listening to this episode and you have some questions about female friendship in this part one, please feel free to leave them in the comments. We'll take a look and hopefully bring in some of your questions and your concerns and part two answer them in part two. Yeah. That's why I love these two partner episodes. Yeah. And you can leave questions for the next one. And I love this topic. It's so beautiful. It really is very heartwarming and I'm great. I'm very excited to put a stake through that heart when we talk about a friend of breakups. All right, tiger fam. See you next time. Bye.