Speaker 1If you're in your first 30 days of sobriety and wondering to yourself, is this normal? Am I doing this right? Let's talk about what you can actually do and what you can expect in the next month. My name is Anthony. I'm an addict in recovery. Came into recovery at 23, 10 years ago. I relapsed after 8 years sober and now I'm an addictions counselor giving the message that was passed on to me back on to you. If you're just trying to get sober or you're constantly relapsing and you're wondering what the hell am I doing wrong, this video is for you. We're going to break it down week by week, cravings, sleep, anxiety, what to expect, social stuff, and what you can actually do each day to stay sober. Quick disclaimer, I'm sharing lived experience. Although I am an addiction counselor, I'm not a medical doctor. And if you're physically dependent on alcohol or drugs, you need to go to a doctor and get detoxed properly and safely. Why are the first 30 days such a big deal? This is where most people relapse. They start over. And over again. And they can't figure out why. Your body and your brain are coming off of something they haven't been without for a long time. The goal of the next 30 days is not to fix your whole life. To feel amazing every day. The real goal is to survive those intense cravings without having to pick up. Build tiny, simple routines that make the next day easier. And to show your brain that you can live without alcohol. If you've been drinking heavily, you should see a doctor before detoxing on your own. Alcohol withdrawal is dangerous and lethal. So before you quit drinking, you will feel anxiety. You will miss alcohol. This is all totally normal. I want you to shift your mindset from I have to figure out the rest of my life sober to I'm just not going to drink today. I'm learning how to do today without drinking. All right. So days one to seven, this is a typical experience. So from a physical standpoint, restless sleep or weird dreams, sweats, shakiness, low energy, upset stomach, changes in appetite. From an emotional standpoint, there's going to be a lot of anxiety. There's going to be a lot of anxiety. There's going to be a lot of anxiety. There's going to be a lot of anxiety. There's going to be a lot of anxiety. Repetitive thoughts, mood swings. You could be hopeful in the morning and then everything is coming to a screaming halt at night. I remember my first night in this third rehab that I was at. I had these crazy thoughts of my wife dying on the way home from dropping me off. And there was going to be no way for them to tell me because I was in rehab. Just these crazy thought loops in my head. And I was convinced. I was like, what if she died? Scary stuff. All totally normal. Talk about it. Get it out there. They lose its power as soon as you get it out. And it's not ruminating in your head. So most important thing is to focus on the 24 hours ahead. That's it. Don't think about tomorrow. Don't think about next week. Don't think about staying sober at your cousin's wedding or your wedding. Can I get through today without a drink? Or even better, can I get through the next 15 minutes without a drink? Drink lots of water, electrolyte drinks. Try to eat something even though you're definitely not going to be hungry. Blood sugar. Ashes make cravings way worse. I want you to simplify your life this week. You might have to say no to some optional social event. Keep your schedule basic. Sleep, food, movement, support. And when a craving hits, pause, breathe, and delay. Tell yourself things like, I can drink tomorrow if I still want to. I'm not going to drink today. Change your state. Get up, go for a walk, take a cold shower, call a friend, do something else. Get your mind off of it. So week two, days eight to 14, you might think I'm feeling better. Was it really? That bad? It wasn't that bad. I was overreacting back. You know, it's not that bad. I was overreacting. Cravings can be more psychological than physical now. Boredom hits extremely hard. You'll find that when you quit drinking, you have a lot more time to do things. Now that you're not going to the liquor store all the time and trying to find ways to fund your escapades, people might now start asking you, why aren't you drinking? Fucking weirdo, right? My favorite thing is when someone offers you a drink in recovery. No, I'm good. I'm just not drinking today. Most of the time, people will leave you alone. But if they need to know and they just won't leave it, might be good to give them a little bit of a taste of what it's like, what happens when you drink. And maybe it's time to be honest. For me, if I pick up that drink today, I'll end up smoking meth again on your couch, crashing your wife's car into the garage, then calling you and asking you to bail me out of jail. Usually that shuts people up. Be aware of the brain negotiation. So maybe I'm not an addict. Maybe I'm not an alcoholic. Maybe I can have beer instead of... scotch. Your brain is going to continually try to trick you into drinking again because your addiction wants you dead. Let's be honest. This is where you can start introducing one of my favorite tools, HALT. Hungry, angry, lonely, and tired. Do not make decisions when you are in one of these phases or states of mind. Whenever you have a craving, ask yourself, am I hungry? Am I lonely? Am I angry? Am I tired? This is where you should start to build a support system. I mean, you can really do this from the beginning, in my opinion, but something like Alcoholics and Honours. Alcoholics Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Cocaine Anonymous, Smart Recovery, right? It doesn't have to be 12-step. I know a lot of you out there are like, ah, fuck you, 12-step, you old white bastards. It's to each his own. Listen, I'm not going to stand here and tell you there's only one way to recover. Alcoholics Anonymous does not have a monopoly on recovery. Find your way that works for you, that you like, and that keeps you sober. You need a community of like-minded people who are sober because they've gone through what you're going through, and they can better direct you. Not you. Not your mom, not your sister, not your cousin. All right, days 15 to 30. Some of your energy is going to start to come back. Brain fog may start to slowly lift. You might be able to start seeing things clearer. You might get some random strong cravings out of nowhere. The other day I was, you know, walking outside and I had this idea that I should probably get into drug dealing because I don't have enough money. Completely out of nowhere. But that was my brain trying to get me to do drugs again, to jump back into addiction, right? Literally, you can come out of nowhere. You hear a song, you see someone you used to party with, and all of a sudden you think about the good old days, right? How fun was that? It wasn't fun. Let's be honest. Otherwise, you wouldn't be watching this video. It's important at this point to start building life routines. Simple stuff that we never did in our drinking and using that people all around the world do every single day. Making your bed, going for a walk in the morning, calling a friend, cooking yourself three meals, brushing your teeth. God, when I was on, when I was on Vyvanse for a long time, I went. Three days sometimes without showering and brushing my teeth, and I didn't even notice it. I abused Vyvanse, by the way. I don't have ADHD. If you're a spiritual person, I highly recommend introducing prayer meditation in the mornings. I do journaling and meditation, getting out all my thoughts. I do three pages every single morning of just whatever's on my mind. Doesn't need to make sense. Doesn't have to mean anything. Doesn't have to be perfect. I just do it every morning, and I find that it clears my mind and allows for more positive thoughts to come. Then at night, reflect on your day. What went well today? What helped keep me sober today? Did I do anything that maybe I shouldn't have done? Do I owe an apology somewhere? And then make the amends. Recovery is all about honest self-appraisal, self-searching. I need to learn myself in recovery. I need to learn why I do the things that I do, and I need to not do them anymore. If I, in order to not do those things anymore, like, I don't know, yell at my wife or yell at the guy riding the bike on the street, I need to be aware of them. I need to know that I do them. And I do that by journaling, by getting honest with myself and telling people when I do fucked up shit. Another thing that can help you at this time in your sobriety, or anytime really, start doing one thing at a time. You know, we all have bills when we come in that pile up. Maybe you haven't paid the bills in a while. Maybe you haven't, I don't know, fed the dog. Maybe you haven't called your mom in a while. Start doing these little things one by one and keep a checklist to do simple things and get that dopamine rush of like, yeah, I did that today. Good job, Anthony. Way to go. This is huge. Give yourself a break, right? This is hard. It's not easy to get sober. Start to notice the conversation you have with yourself, right? Oh, you fucking idiot. Replace that with, I'm just doing the best I can and I make mistakes. I'm a human being and I make mistakes from time to time. Get that vocabulary of, I'm a bad person out of your head. It's not going to help you at any point in this journey. All right, common traps that you will encounter in the first 30 days. I feel better now. I'm going to drink normally. I can just have one. Oh my God. I hear that all the time. Let's be honest. When was the last time you just had one of anything? Don't fall back. Try your best not to fall back into that cycle of drinking, consequences, swearing you'll never do it again. A few good days or weeks, forgetting all that pain you just caused yourself. And then back to, maybe I can just have one. You're probably feeling better now because you've removed the substance. Not because you can drink normally again. Another trap you might fall into is cross addiction. Replacing alcohol with sugar. Or gambling. Or, I don't know, Zins. Watch out for this stuff. Shopping is another one. You know, at one point, my Amazon guy replaced my drug dealer. I'm being dead serious. I'm a lot better now. But hey, if buying sneakers on the internet is going to keep you sober another day, go for it, man. Your brain is looking for dopamine right now. So you might be scrolling on social media more. You might be gambling. Just be aware of that stuff. Shopping included. You just removed an important, the main, really, source of dopamine that you were getting. For all this time. Be aware of that. Trap four. All or nothing. Right? We are very black and white thinkers. I missed a meeting. I suck at this. What's the point? I ate terribly last night. Might as well go drink. You can mess up your day without throwing away your sobriety. Just get to tonight. It's progress, not perfection. All right. I'm going to walk you through a quick template of a day, if you will, in recovery. That's going to be beneficial for you. Wake up. Drink water. Hygiene routine. Make your coffee. Read some recovery. literature, journal, pray, meditate. Say something out loud like, today's going to be a great day, or I'm choosing not to drink today. I will reassess tomorrow. If that sounds stupid and, I don't know, hoaxy to you right now, just try it. What do you have to lose? Maybe you're wrong about getting sober. I know I was. I needed help. Next, move your body. So go to the gym, go for a walk, something simple. Doesn't need to be a two-hour thing at the gym where you're lifting with all the bros. 5, 10, 15 minutes on the treadmill, anything, bike, whatever. Move your body. Eat something real every three to four hours. If a craving hits, go back to the halt. Hungry, angry, lonely, tired. What am I actually feeling right now? Do I really want alcohol or am I hungry, angry, lonely, or tired? Text or call someone or listen to a recovery podcast to get through it. It'll always pass. I promise you this too shall pass. Every craving will pass eventually. You have to do something about it. You can't just sit in it and will your way through it. You've done that long enough. Time for something new. Start a gratitude list. One to three things you're grateful for. Even if it's as simple and seemingly insignificant as I'm grateful for coffee. I'm grateful for my legs. I'm grateful for my family. Write it down, get it out. You don't need to feel confident to be sober. Just keep making one good decision at a time. And if you can't do the next right thing, do the next thing right. I'm just not drinking today. Just don't drink today. Get to bed sober. Get to midnight sober. I'll reassess tomorrow. And if you're like me and you've relapsed a thousand times, you're not alone. As long as you're still alive, you still have, there is still hope. As long as you're still alive, there is still hope for you. Keep trying. Don't give up. If you keep relapsing, maybe you need a new plan. Maybe you need to ask somebody else for help and then follow the direction. I want you to drop your sobriety date in the comments. How long you've had. Check in with me. Recovery is simple, not easy. I've been doing this for 10 years and I'm anything but perfect. I fuck up all the time. But what I don't do today is pick up a drink or a drug and I pick up the phone before I take that drink or drug. Most important thing. Hardest thing. Most important thing.
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