How to Get a First Date

views what's up guys welcome to views guys i've seen some dms you guys want more riddles so i'm about to hit you with one um the only person in the room that hasn't heard this think is taylor tay ready me yeah introduce yourself hi i'm taylor okay tay i'm gonna bet you 20 us dollars right 20 you have to pay me though if you fail this riddle what okay it's very easy all you have to do is you can't you can't say the word no you already did this with john huh yeah did you hear me do it no i saw you got 20 from john oh that's really funny taylor's connected to my venmo so she sees that's really funny it's nice that he paid me what'd you think what'd you think when you saw the 20 dollars i was so confused john's never venmoed you john also will john will like every week i have to venmo him right yeah like i venmo him like 800 because he's hired people to do things around the house and it's like really hard to keep track of now he's had to like be like are you sure you're like adding these numbers it's like thousands of dollars and then when we go through the numbers it'll be off by like 75 it's really funny anyway it's the john tax hilarious it's the john tax natalie doesn't like okay anyway ready okay here we go okay so you get on a bus okay okay there's two kids sitting there there's one on a red hat and a green hat okay okay what color do you sit next to the green green great the green the green hat kid has a sandwich it's a cucumber okay and a banana which one do you take banana you take the banana because you love banana now do you peel the banana or do you break it in half peel or break it's in the sandwich right um no it's not it's just the banana okay um i peel it okay you peel oh okay okay so then when you're done with it he has an ice cream bar or an ice cream sandwich what do you take bar or sandwich sandwich have you heard this before no wait what got ya got ya got ya got you still doesn't know i got you tay i got she still doesn't know what did you just say so annoying fuck here got ya got ya wait you don't you don't think that was a riddle that was so good it's in the riddle family all right let's do alex okay al our dude i hate how we choose look at how we choose i know i know how does he chew he keeps the food like at the bottom of his gun oh that's not why you're that's why you're so bad at chewing wait why where do i keep it you're putting it in between your gums you're not it just falls there i don't it's not hitting your teeth dude well how do your teeth are like a quarter of an inch thin you have to keep it there how how do you keep the whole thing whatever surprise you're alive you don't know how to eat all right ready can you want to bet me twenty dollars that i can get you to say the word no this is really sad because i'll lose and you already did it to me two days ago oh i did yeah fuck wait did i get you to say it before yeah okay yeah yeah have i done did everyone lose so have i done it to julia no probably not guys are bringing julia i feel like i feel like julia may know this one all right guys julia is here john's a girlfriend um julia we're gonna skip right to the end of it okay right jay yeah and then you look up at the sky how many stars are in the sky five or ten ten wait have you heard this before no it's so good wow that was so good it's it's you know why yeah because there's like an instinct to prove to the person that you're doing like the instinct is to prove to the person that you're doing a good job all on your own yes yes so you want you have to say no it's just like it's not i don't think there's a single person i'm bringing the security guard in i don't think there's a single person in the world probably depends on the delivery too if you have john be the host i don't know i i i i i i he's great i genuinely think there's not a single person in the world that would not say no you think you could make like 400 bucks in a night with that you're looking at ways to make money you think you could go to a party and like just rack up like 20 bucks i'm like you should do it can you do a while yeah can you do it this weekend yeah i mean i don't know if people will pay me i mean i feel like that's like i guess they have to yeah all right i'll let you know how many people i can get everyone jay it's everyone's instinct is gonna be to like prove to to you sir yeah but how much money do you think i can get pop if you do 20 bucks a game you could probably do like 116 in a night you think yeah yeah easy imagine you just do this full time jay we we know we know you do this you've taken money from all our friends please stop coming to the house it's at random house parties uh i called alex the other day so you know how like a lot of times i have realizations of like things like like the other day i told you that deodorant is like deodor like you're deodorizing something so i thought about this the other day you know the joke that's why did the chicken cross the road okay what's the answer jay to get to the other side to get to the other side and like i've always thought in my head that the joke was that there is no joke it's like an anti-joke but then i was thinking about it and then i was like oh my god the joke is you're crossing the chicken from one side like your cranberries and you're pulling it over to the other side like side mashed potato is the side cranberries aside right why are you pulling chicken because you're trying to with your fork you're trying to get the cranberry sauce also on the piece of chicken and you're also trying to get the mashed potato why would to chicken well it just it's like a it's like you natalie it's like a food anyway so alex is here because i called him i called him and i told him this whole thing and at first i texted him it was 2 30 a.m i'm like are you up it's important oh my god i wish i got that yeah i'm up and i facetimed him and i tell him the whole thing and i'm like and i'm like because it's getting to the other side and then alex goes uh for real time and i'm like letting him process it and then like like maybe three seconds go by of just silence and he goes dude i'm so fucking high right now this is really fucking me up like the most inconvenient did you get what i was saying yeah after you explained it but you were trying to like get me to understand your point without do you understand my point or is it silly i understand it but i just think it's so it's a far-fetched yeah right yeah it's so far-fetched your brain is crazy god damn to get to the other side so you don't want the chicken to touch anything yeah like it's time to transfer the food i don't know yeah maybe it is an anti-joke i don't know where it stemmed from no it definitely is i want to get to the bottom did you look it up it's yeah it's an anti-joke your way it's i was wrong but i still don't believe google's right your way is like an anal retentive joke um what do you yes yeah it's like an ocd joke yeah ocd joke yeah yeah maybe that's why i got it yeah i think so speaks a lot of me wait so al i talked about this on the other pod you kissed a girl the other day oh my god please no no i didn't i didn't say who or what yeah of course but like i was just saying how like i was i said it because we were having movie night and i was trying to get you to say how the kiss went right but like you couldn't explain it to me and that was like really frustrating me like yeah i'm not good at like remembering details but it was good but like why is it that like a like a moment like where everything's heightened and you're like remembering nothing yeah oh like you just blacked out yeah oh i don't know i can try like what what more questions do you have wait when were you kissing someone sunday saturday you're being bro as hell right now what does that mean i don't like i don't remember i was like i just kissed her but yeah if you have like dumb fucking questions ask them no no i don't remember because it was so amazing because it was so amazing so amazing oh really yeah and i was just trying to deep bro himself but he's like broing harder yeah yeah he's broing harder by trying no but that is actually like that's the truth yeah it was really amazing it was great yeah i mean she's like in a hole now not like he says you packed or like you like tongue no like uh no tongue just like small hold leave do you ever okay here are some questions for for the females here when do you when do you grab the butt do you know what i mean at what point in the makeout is it okay to go for the first time and heard you like let's say there's like a girl that listens and like maybe the husband like yeah new boyfriend yeah he'd be like play me your favorite podcast and she's kind of embarrassed but she's like yeah maybe i should he'd be like so like the lead guy the guy that like talks the most does he have brain damage right when is it appropriate to go for the butt i mean yeah like when finally natalie gives her expertise i brought this girl up the other day i kissed i kissed a girl that was going to italy like a long time ago about a month and a half ago and i don't think she had me grab her butt during the first kiss oh she took your hand and put it on her butt yeah oh yeah yeah first kiss damn and then and then i like slid it back up because i was like this is crazy and she's like no don't be scared shut the fuck up and i was like whoa i'm not scared um no but yeah okay and then their husband's like yeah grab it a little harder no um yeah so i thought that was a little strange um but i but i was but i was like oh this kind of makes sense actually also i mean maybe she just wanted to you to know that she really liked you really like this is serious have you is your butt grabbed during first kisses have you had your first kiss yet i don't know no um during first kiss i would say no i don't i would say never and when okay and when someone is dropping you off from a date do you feel inclined to give them a kiss um i've never had somebody drop me off from a date what other than like someone i'm dating i guess but uh do i feel inclined to kiss them yeah you've never had a first date where someone's dropped you off no natalie that's crazy meaning they just come in meaning they come in no i've never had i've never grab your you rub your ass i never just had a kiss i'm getting plowed no i've never been on a date like that excuse me this gets really sad other than someone that i've been dated natalie you went on a date with this guy who the guy you know ryan's friend you know he went on date oh that wasn't a date that was just a hookup oh okay no what about wait that is strange i've never been on a date i feel like dude this is why i don't understand you i i'm like so baffled by all you guys okay i mean so baffled i'm baffled by dave i'm baffled by al i'm baffled by natalie i'm baffled by taylor okay so now i'm confused because last podcast you were talking about your dating issues but now i'm putting things together and now i'm realizing that the only time that you actually are into a guy and it's reciprocated it just turns into like fucking at night and i'm like connecting all the dots and i'm like oh my god this has happened more times than one would expect she's giving it up too early no no no i don't even know if that's what that might because i don't think she gives it up too early i just think like i don't know i don't i don't like see or talk to anybody for several months and then if i go out and i'm just like feeling myself i meet somebody and like i probably will hook up with them it's happened very very few times so like that's when that's when that happens i don't like go on dates oh okay so that's the problem naveen remember last pod you were yeah this is what's going on natalie thank you you tell me girl we'll meet someone and maybe like them but not be forward i feel like you're like so chill and just like oh whatever happens like and then you'll maybe have a drink and then you kind of like are more yourself and like more confident and you'll be like oh hey and then it becomes a hammer during the day you need to day drink and be like take me on a date i'm free friday yeah yeah you should start dates i mean obviously not during the work week or the work weekends or the work months or night time playing cod all right um no i'm definitely like this is a part of a bigger conversation i need more free time okay yeah we should talk about that what kind of free time can you offer our girl nat um yeah let's have this negotiation i don't even want to i sent her text and you didn't you totally just didn't listen to it wait what i said natalie take the week off david come to my house we're gonna work on a cartoon it's so it's weird though because it's like natalie's week off like it's in best interest sometimes for her to not take the week off why because natalie's the nam it's like classic manipulator tell me david well natalie's job is strictly not strictly but natalie's job is she gets immediate feedback you literally should teach a master class in this hi i'm david dobrik now so natalie gets immediate gratification from her job okay right yeah so if she pulls in something she takes a commission her salary is strictly based on how much she is working sure right for the most part okay um and i think i make enough i could just like scale it back a little bit right and as her friend i'm like stop scaling it back full force ahead yeah right so like yeah you could crack it open yeah not for me for your bank account the way i see it like when i like let's say i used to do something that made me ten thousand dollars yeah or so or let's say like i had like a weekly job that was like i was making ten thousand dollars a week doing that job and then i was like maybe this week i don't want to do it i'm gonna take a break like all i'm thinking about is that whatever i'm doing is like it's costing me ten thousand dollars yeah because that money was already like that money's coming to me and now i'm just like saying no to it it's costing me money i'm pulling it away from my destiny i'm pulling it out i'm like i'm taking it out from the future so that's how i look at natalie it's like free time i get it but it's like directly it's directly benefiting her to not have free time and to work because it just it it's it's not it's not like i pay her 100 grand a year and then i'm like and then i'm like and i'm holding her hostage yeah the more she works the more she makes yeah yeah yeah but there might be just some time that like out of 52 weeks out of the year totally totally if somebody gets you're scaring naveen right now is there no like no because i can't think like that oh yeah it's a bad way to like because that free time or like having like a friday off yeah could make you more money that will make more money i agree i agree because you're like letting your brain kind of like reconfigurate and be like oh yeah that's true no no i was actually gonna say that naveen i was getting there so now you should just take a lot more time off no no i do get that i don't think like that though but yeah i know that that's real and i and i do believe in it i just like can't get myself i don't think jason works like that either it's crazy that you know jason definitely doesn't think like that i don't and i too and i need to she's right like if i do take like saturday and sunday off um i find that like my monday is like incredible well yeah like jay like you'd rather take you'd rather take five jobs throughout the week that make you x a thousand dollars yeah then like resting and trying to come up with an idea yeah it'll make you way more right yeah because you're like this is here this is for sure this is what i can do yeah yeah yeah um i haven't met anybody that takes more rest and relaxation days than you my friend so for you to say that recovery is an important fucking yo i got a call to work on a project on friday i got like an emergency call yeah to help you with one of your projects and and i was struggling with my own thing that i was working on we were working on a vlog and what was the project i don't want to say but you know what it was okay i'm trying to think i don't remember it's a project you're working on with ferris and ferris is like can you can you work on this and and i was kind of like okay oh you we we hired you to write on it well you hired me for one day okay okay and i came two days okay and then and then i was like where's david and ferris is like oh he's that spider-man i was like what the fuck what do you mean he's that spider-man i'm like i i'm like fucking trying to you know make as much money as i can and i'm like where the fuck is he at spider-man and i'm working on this fucking thing that's why he makes the most money because he has that mentality yeah yeah yeah you have to go see spider-man but that's just spider-man right like that's like yeah if you try to tell me that spider-man is just so important well no it's it's marvel movies yeah and movies like maybe pixar movies and like christopher nolan movies are all up there with things that i need to see totally man but you know i'm trying to make as much money as i can yeah i get it but like why weren't you there like helping me i didn't know that you were coming and then when when ferris yeah oh oh i know what this was this was for the shoot at the nice house yeah oh yeah i was never going to that oh yeah yeah i was never going yeah but it's it's your project i asked him i was like how was the shoot and he was like it was great i had jason come and write in that was the first time i even heard about that yeah he's like i had jason come in and write on it i didn't even like that was like a strictly ferris thing and he may have lied to you or maybe you just assumed no no no no no no no no you just assumed no he didn't lie no i i knew i knew i knew you weren't yeah i knew you were fucking yeah anything to do with it you wanted to be fucking 5 000 feet away from it yeah if i'm at spider-man i mean just look at the premiere dates december 18th i'm gone okay i'll put it in my calendar okay yeah in the 19th yeah well what do you see in a second time i'm gonna re-watch it yeah yeah that whole week really i'll block out other than that like i'm probably just napping and if you really need me wish wake me up yeah i did the podcast the other day and then you you did the podcast which was great but then like you were just back to sleep yeah i've been having a really weird you complained one day you're like i just got it from nap i can't do the podcast so i came back the next day and you did do it and then i finished it and i wanted to like be like hey the podcast is done you were just fucking knocked out i don't know what's going on and that's just dead inside i'm i gave nat a look and i was like gonna make a joke you're like you're like passed out next to that and that just had no words she's just like her eyes are just like fucking kill me like that was we didn't say anything but that was the message she sent to me like i remember the look i gave you because that was exactly what i was feeling inside she's like fucking she didn't say that yeah but it felt like it put a bullet in my head right now and my misery i don't know what's going on i've been sleeping a lot like weird weird weird fucking them out what what is that when you sleep a lot i think depression no i think we've come from like we were filming a lot for a month and then we came to nothing yeah and it's fucking me up like i think i need to like keep going to like oh yeah it's it sucks when you're like when you stop yeah it sucks that's tough that's why i always have like such a weird thing about commending people that are super hard working and when they take up more things because i'm like it's like so not impressive to get things done when you're hard working to me because like do you know what i'm saying i kind of get that yeah it's like you're used to it and you're wired that way yeah like when kevin hart picks up a new project and tequila like how does he do it all i'm like it's easy that's all he does what's hard is having to go to cvs when you have nothing to do all day that's difficult and and take it from a guy take it take it from a guy who has worked extremely hard when he was doing the videos it is the easiest thing to throw another thing at me and to throw another money project at me and to get me to go here and see that it's the easiest because my entire brain is wired no sleep nothing this is all i'm doing and it's impossible to break that cycle when you're resting so yeah that's why i don't find like hardworking people uh impressive and that's also actually why like i get frustrated with ilia yeah with the working out thing because i just like i don't know there's like a lot of but yeah that's all that's on me that's just how i perceive things well that's wild i know did you see this thing i sent you it's um why gen z loves entourage oh yeah i didn't really understand that what's gen z first of all is that me earlier younger is gen z younger than us okay why do they love entourage entourage is a time capsule for the last era before every interaction became content every hobby a new possible stream of income and every night out needed to just slow that down every hobby it's basically saying like kids watch entourage now because it's like the last vestige of vestige um when you could like become a celebrity and like you didn't have to like you didn't have to like you didn't have to like like go out like film everything or you didn't have like now people feel like if you're gonna let me read it to you i'm not doing good good well no i you sent it to me and i didn't get it entourage is making a comeback because it represents a version of young adulthood that has gone completely extinct one that younger generations have never truly experienced and probably never will okay so that makes sense right i'll explain that well like when you watch entourage it's like vince vince comes out it's a very simple story he's an actor he comes out he gets really good at being an actor and he gets so famous that he can bring all his buddies with him and live this incredible life yeah that's entourage the people are nostalgic for a version of life that feels less optimized less documented and more open to chance entourage preserves the final era of monoculture you're saying yeah that has more optimized for chance is that the life of a life of entourage no when in vince's case becoming a movie star when in vince's case becoming a movie star was universally understood it was a universally understood dream vince didn't need to explain why he wanted to be an actor and no one expected him to be anything else it was enough now wanting to become excellent at a single thing feels like leaving opportunities on the table in entourage the work creates celebrity today celebrity often creates the work it captures the last moments when everyone understood what it meant to make it and there were the signifiers were simple and clear i think that's really interesting okay explain that breaking talk because i feel like i agree with half of it and i don't agree with half of it like i guess what they're saying is like i like the sentence entourage is a time capsule because i i want to i want to get this one part whatever you're gonna say i'm gonna go interesting explain all right let's break it down let's break it down okay so yeah i think i get it fucking tell me dude i think it's do you get it yeah it's basically saying he just wanted to be an actor if you're an actor sorry i'm talking over you if you're an actor you also have the pressure of being a social media personality plus maybe you want to be a singer or put out a song and maybe you want to do this other thing like you're not just one thing it's like when kids go to the club now yeah it's like you're not just at the club you're you have to like work and you have to it's like hustle culture it's like man i gotta meet this guy or maybe i've got to make content while i'm at the club it's like all that so that's why gen z likes entourage so much because they don't do that they just go to the club it's like a simpler life it's just simple yeah it's simplicity that's all it is do you agree with that okay i kind of get that yeah does that make sense yeah i don't know i thought it was really no no it is wait keep unpacking it because there's something weird i didn't agree with um do you agree with it fully i'm about to puke i know what you're blowing in my face you like that shit is usually that um half of people under 30 live at home half of people under 30 wow that's crazy is that crazy Yeah. I mean, I don't know why you would move out. Who fucking cares? I don't know. I mean, as much as I love my mom and dad, that was such a big thing. Really? It was like, yo, to be on your own. Okay. But I think that's, I think that's like. To go get an apartment in New York City and like, like it's you and. I feel like that's changing though. Yeah. And I feel, I feel like, like, well, cause you guys fucking, you guys, you fucking old people used to make us like go to college. That's not even like really a thing anymore. Like in the, sorry, in the same way it was, it's obviously still a thing. Blame me, man. I tried to tell Wyatt. I know, but I'm just saying like, even my parents were like the, the old fashioned way of doing things is it's very different. And I think especially with like Natalie and I's generation. Yeah. When my kids are going to be like, I want to live here for a long time. I don't think I'm going to have a problem with that. And I don't, I feel like that's kind of like where the sentiment is online. It's like, yeah, the world's expensive and tough and hard and why not just stay here? Well, other countries, that is a big thing. You do stay with your family. Especially like in India, right? Yeah. It's in India where you like stay with your parents to like, until you're married. A lot of countries is like, until you're married, you stay with your parents. Yeah. Or that whole thing where it's so wild that we, an old person gets old and we put them in a home. Yeah. Whereas like they don't do that in another country. Or even in Slovakia, like where I'm from, like where my family, like the most they do is like move down the street from their parents. Like they build a new house on the land because the land there is different. Yeah. It's like disrespectful if you don't like stick around. So, so. What you're saying, Dave, is to all those kids that are living at home that are 26, it's cool. Oh, for sure. You're cool with that. Yeah. What do you mean? Yeah. I don't know. I'm not so cool with it. What? I just don't. Well, I think there's. You're just pissed at those kids? Yeah. I don't know. I'm sure we have a lot of listeners that live at home too. You just hate them? I think there's a difference. Fuck you, Jason. I live at home. I love my mom. Wait, Naveen's bro lives at home. My brother lives at home, but he'll like. How would you put it? He's going to kill me, but. 25? He's in his 20s, but he'll like tell people that he lives at home because he's like helping my mom and that he like owns the house. Oh, God. You can't say that. It's her peanut butter. For sure. Wow. Naveen's mom's like crazy businesswoman. Oh, wow. It's just so funny how people like. So, I do feel like he would be better if he got a place. Wait, now what were you saying? Well, I think there's a difference between. your kid graduates from college is being lazy and not doing something and is just taking advantage of being able to live at home versus like maybe they just want to save money for the first couple years or whatever. And they have a job. At least they're pursuing something outside of the home. That's not how I read the statistic. Oh. I read it like these motherfuckers are leeching off their parents and living at home and hanging out all day, which isn't necessarily true. That's not how I heard that statistic at all when you said it. Natalie's right. A lot of people, I'm sure, are just like, they live at home. I mean, let us know in the comments if you live at home. That's weird. That's where your brain went. That is where my brain went. That is the old-fashioned in you. I don't even think like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm so much more woke than you. You suck. No, but like genuinely. Well, you moved out of your house. What the fuck are you talking about? You didn't stay with your parents. Because my parents were old-fashioned. Okay. They gave them an old tomato. Yeah. My parents beat me. I don't know. My parents were really great. David, why did you say that? Come on. I gotta calm down with what I say. I called your mom the other day to get her spelling of her name for the cartoon. She was so, so excited. She's like, I made it. Yeah, my mom asked me the other day. She's like, did I not make the cartoon? I'm like, I don't. First of all, I don't know. And second of all, like, why would you think you haven't made it? Like, did it premiere somewhere? And you weren't at the premiere. Like, what the fuck? Yeah, Jason had my mom do a voiceover for a cartoon. And my mom's really holding on to this thing. I know. We gotta find another part for her. But is she in the original? She's in episode four, the creation episode. Okay. I offered her another part, you know, and she turned it down. She's like, I don't sound like my accent. I can't do this one. And I'm like, just try. Just try. She was like, no, no, no. You should get someone else. That's really funny. I was like, you asked me to be here. Jason, no, that's. You have to say, like, no, this part is for you. Well, we did the part that was for her, and then I offered her another part, and she said no. This one wasn't. No, to be polite, you have to say, I insist. Yeah, she was self-conscious about her accent. Did you pay her a day rate? She's also listening. Hi. No. Are you gonna give her a cut of it when it comes out? Yeah, if we make any money. We're making ten episodes. It's called NashQuest. It'll be out in September. NashQuest? Yeah. Wow. Have you seen it? Grab the map. What's next? Have I seen it? Yeah. What the fuck? So this is out. You haven't seen it? No. No, but, like, you don't have a part? What the fuck? Fucking loser. You're actually in it? Yeah. Yes, I was like basically Dora the fucking explorer. Yeah, she plays a little girl. You're like the main thing? Yeah, it's Jason Tom, how good I was. Is it like comedy? No. It's like informational. It's kids. No, it's kids. It's kids animated. It's Dora adjacent. Excuse me? Like for real? At least the episode that I'm in. We would have loved the theme song. Jason and Naveen are the parents that are exploring. Exploring what? The world. But Jason looks like a kid in it. We go to different countries each episode. So it would be like. Well, I just assumed the parents were here. We go to Greece. We go to New York City. We go to. Wait, how did you come up with this? And you have a family? No, we don't have a family in the show. We have a monkey. Okay, did you just copy? What's Natalie's character's name? Dora. That's funny. I actually have never seen Dora. And then when I saw that there was a monkey character, I was like, guys, this is. What do they get around using? Like when they're lost, what do they use? Backpack, backpack, backpack. Yeah, how do you explore? Do you have a map in your hand or no? Swiper, no swiping. We have a, yeah, we have a, what is it? The Nash Encyclopedia or something? Yeah. Okay, that's perfect. This is starting to sound a little too close to Dora, but whatever. How long are the episodes? Dora needs an update. Eight minutes. Wow. Yeah. So anyways, look for it. Where? Where? Where the fuck would somebody look for it? Where the fuck would somebody look for this? I don't know. Just like, I don't know. It's on a streaming platform. Just check this podcast. We'll tell you. But it'll be around. They want to do two more seasons. Who's they? This company. They're doing shows with like- Are you just making things up? No, I swear to God. They did a show with, they're doing a show with Dane Cook. They're doing a show with Stamos. It's called Movers Studios. They're doing a show with the guy from Shark Tank, Robert. Have they paid you for this season? No, they didn't pay me anything. Yet. Yet. Yet. But they made it. But we're going to make- We're going to make Jason and Naveen dolls. I'm going to try to- You should get a neon sign that says, at your house, that just says, not yet. That's your answer to everything. I have a question for you guys. Yeah. If you guys had to give up one of these things, which would you choose to give up? I love these kinds of questions. These are my favorite. I also love, well, I guess let me- Oh, that's fun. Let you have your moment, I guess. Thank you. You are the king. Oh my God. You are the king. Oh my God. Oh my God. So many times I've met her in the podcast. I mean, I don't know. Nat, what did you think about it? And Nat will be like, well, I- And yeah, but the other thing is, sorry to interrupt you. Well, because I don't want to lose my train of thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll literally toss it to her. Yeah, but sometimes it's hard to- Hold on, hold on, hold on. It's hard to fill the 40 minutes. So like sometimes- So you're just doing that like as a courtesy? Like you don't actually want to hear what I have to say? Yeah. I do know what you're saying. Like if you don't get out what you're going to say, it goes. I'm going to forget. Yeah, it does that. Don't forget. And it's nice that Natalie already has it. Wow, I'm totally doing this to her right now. And I did it as a joke first, but now I'm like seriously in it. Yeah, yeah. All right, we'll let you speak. Go for it. Give us a question. Okay, if you had to give up one of these two things, what would you choose? I love this. Be honest. Yeah, that's a really good- What's good about it is- Shut up. I'm sorry. Please, dear God. Okay, your dream career or your closest friendship? Ooh! Ouch! Wait, wait, say it again. You have to give up one of these two things. Your dream career or your closest friendship? I mean, I hate to be an awful person. Wait, what are these two things? Oh, one of these two things. But I gave up my best friend for my dream career. The fuck? What? In a way. I thought I was your best friend. Huh? I'm just kidding. Well, before you. I mean, my best friend, Jeff, who I love so much, but then when I started doing YouTube, it became really hard to keep up that friendship. Yeah. Because our- Yeah. I've explained this to him, like, a lot. We've, like, hashed it out, and now we hang out a lot more now. But, yeah, it was just, like, I just couldn't- It would be like, oh, can I- Like what David said, can I go make $5,000 today, or can I- Should I go hang out with Jeff? Mm-hmm. Wow. Yeah. Cold. But then you guys rekindled. Yeah, I see it a lot now, but- Well, because you have a- Yeah, because you have a podcast, but it's kind of sad. Right? Well- Yeah? It's- That's a really tough question. Well, what would you do? Dream career? Yeah. Yeah, you're back in- Your dream career, your dream life, essentially. You can never talk to John again. I just feel like that's a really nasty- Like, that's just a nasty question. It is nasty. Well, it- From a nasty person. It's intended to be. You ugly slut. It's just like- Because it's like- It's not meant to be easy. Because I know if Illy and I answered it together- Yeah. Then I'd be fine with it. Yeah. Because we'd make a decision together. Yeah. And we- So he's your closest friend. Oh. That's what this was- This was his test- I got you, bitch. That's not even a real question. Fuck you. I'm out. I quit the Beast podcast. Okay, well, what's your dream career? I'm just kidding. I'm living it, brother. This is it. Dab me up. Let's go. Ay. If you could- No, my dream career is- You want to plant things. I'm just kidding. You want to be a singer. Yeah, actually, that is my dream career, to be a pop star. Yeah. Okay, you be- All right, there we go. Would you give me up to be- Fuck yeah. All right, hold on. To be a pop star? Mumford & Sons. Mumford & Sons? Yeah. I fucking love Mumford & Sons. No, they're really good, but- Coldplay. I just didn't want you to think I was going Taylor Swift Coldplay level. I wanted someone a little bit more like- Well, yeah, I don't give a shit. Really? Wow, really? You would do that? You'd trade Dave for Mumford & Sons? To be Mumford & Sons? Right now, a genie came in, you'd- Really? I mean, let's be honest. I'm only going to go the other way because you're sitting right next to me, but yeah, I think so. Okay. I mean, honestly, I don't actually really blame you. As much as I could play the other side, I feel like if someone had gave me that option the other way, I'd probably- Well, I guess it depends. Who's my best friend that day? Is it Natalie? Because I'd give- I'd be fucking anything instead of that, but no, I don't know. If Nat came to me, let's say I was Nat's best friend, and she was like, hey, look, I can never talk to you again, but I'm going to be the lead singer of Mumford & Sons. I'd be like, go. Go do it. That's why I said if I did it with Ilya- Yeah. I'm sure Ilya would be like, go, Dave. The question is phrased in a way where it's like you're doing it behind his back, and you're spitting on him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But any best friend would be like, no, this is- He's like, you got to go do this. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But don't you think those people are kind of rare? Naveen and I talk about that all the time. Really? What? I find that most people aren't giving like that. Am I wrong? Giving in like just that they would give up their friendship with you? Giving in everyday life, like, I don't know. I think I'm a pretty giving person, but even like conversation, I feel like people are just kind of like sometimes not even giving with that. Oh, like they don't want to give you a conversation? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's how I am. I don't like giving people conversations. But you're the most generous person. Aw. So you don't fall in that. Don't look at me. I just like when someone compliments me, I always look at you. Don't. I complimented you last night with Blake and Charlie. What did I say? Oh, behind my back? When I was with Charlie's best friend last night. I was talking about Gen Z. What did they say? We were talking about him, and I said, oh, no, David's the actual best. Oh, what? They were talking shit about me? No, no, no, no, no, not at all. I was telling the story. What was I saying? I was talking to them, and they were like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, no, he's nothing like that. I don't know. I think I was telling a story about the roommates from the podcast or whatever. Oh, right. And Charlie said something like, oh, David did that for him? And I was like, yeah. And she was like, wow. No, no. He's like, actually the GOAT. And I was like, no, no, he actually is. What did I do for my roommate? I can't remember. You've done so many things for people, but what was it? Yeah, I don't remember, but I remember the word GOAT. I can call Charlie and ask, but. 9 p.m. dinner. Yeah. I was out. I remember the word GOAT. Well, thank you for putting me in the conversation of that. I can do a quick question for both of you. Okay, go. Hit me. Okay, so AI is getting super advanced, and they think that it's going to get to a point where it will be able to predict future things for you. So would you want to know, like, if it was like, you could ask it literally, who do you think I'm going to marry? What job will I have in five years? Where will I live in 10 years? Like, would you be asking it, or would you want to just do it by chance? Is this like a genie question, too? No, it's like a real prediction that they think it can get. Like, it's getting so smart so fast that it can make predictions. To, like, actually connect me to someone. You would? Yeah, for sure. But then you're losing out on the figuring out if someone's. I don't care. Yeah, no, I feel that. I don't care. Maybe I want to meet somebody. Yeah, like. I don't care. I'm alone. I don't care for the. I don't care. Like, I don't need the fucking magical. And then I saw her across the hallway. I don't need it. Just give me the whole thing where we're watching movies. Like, skip me to the part where I. But then why would you not choose the person you're always watching movies with? The person that just went to go get a spray tan. Go stop her. Natalie? Yeah. Matt! Just do it. No, no, no, no. Oh, this would be such a good episode. No, no. I don't think that there. You're right on that. I hope I'm wrong, but. My just. My favorite thing is just when, like, best friend's. end up together i think it's no i don't think that's what he's talking about oh no it is oh what oh yeah i mean you are unfortunately wrong about that it really truly yeah and jason's mom which really sucks because jason's mom is like i really do look up to the things your mom says yeah i just think she has so much experience she's good but she always says me and natalie gonna end up together yeah and i'm always like fuck please don't say that because it like it makes me think that everything else you've said to me is also wrong do you know what i mean Like, that's what stresses me out. I'm like, I really respect all your decisions, but when you're getting something so completely wrong, it worries me that everything else has been wrong. I promise you, there is nothing. There's literally, it's nothing there. I don't know how she feels, but I can tell you right now, I would have to get smacked across the fucking. She's listening to this really sad in the car. She's like, let me listen to the. She just left to go get a spray tan, by the way. I wonder what they said about me. Yeah, I wonder what I missed after I left. I have to get fucking beat upside my skull for me to ever look at her, even for a second. I would have to be run over by three tanks. She'd have to be the last woman alive and no other holes for me to. No, I can't. So that's not going to work. But back to your little AI thing. Yeah, I'd love to meet a girl that way. Little AI thing. This is going to be a big thing. Big potatoes. Why can't AI? How can AI help you find the person? How? How would it do it? That's going to have to mean we're all on a database and our smart homes are tracking everything we do, right? Oh, right. Like when your AI actually knows everything about you better than you do. That would be so crazy if literally you walk in. Which is actually like. Sorry to cut you off. No, go ahead. All right, cool. Which is actually probably a good thing for humanity. Yeah, I think so, too. I think you go to your AI one day and they're like, David, you're not going to believe this. I found this girl in Austin, Texas. Yeah. She's fucking into Iron Man. She's fucking all about. Five foot two. Yeah, she's five foot two. She's Latina. Exactly. She's literally looking for somebody. That could be a thing. The only thing is, obviously, it's scary that AI is like so, you know, there's obviously the negative sides of that. But like, how cool would that be for people that are really not feeling themselves? Yeah. And like AI. And not only like helping you pair up with like a human. Yeah. But like pairing you up with like an activity or a task or like just some sort of North Star that you don't even know that you like needed to like look forward to or look at because you're so depressed. I feel like I could get so many people out of their slump. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't believe no one's done that. Well, it's too soon. Also, the problem with it is you could have someone that likes all the things you like. But no, nothing. But then you just don't feel it. And that's something AI could never do? Mm-mm. Wow. Mm-mm. But it could make you believe. Like if you really wanted someone and they were like, this is your perfect match, I think you could get in the headspace maybe. But then if you were out at the grocery store and you met someone and you just had a crush, that feeling of the crush will like bypass. So you're saying it could never be any better than Tinder? No, no, no, no. No, it'll be better than Tinder. No, I'm saying it's good. A little good. But not. You'll never get that feeling. No, she's saying. Not that feeling that David gets when he sees Natalie. Yeah. Is what you're saying. No, not that massive reaction. It's not that. She's saying the spark won't like. Yeah. I can't detect a spark. Right. Which I get. But like. Because it would probably pair you with Natalie. It would be like you guys go to the same places. You like the same stuff. But it wouldn't. Like I feel like. But what if it did? Would you then accept it? No, no, you fucking weirdo. No, no, no. I create an AI reference. AI robot just for that. Like try this out. No, I. Interesting talk. But even if like. Even if it connected me with like 10 possible people. I don't know. I also think that there is. That there's a way to like figure that out where it's not just like all magic and sparks flying inside your heart. Like I feel like maybe that can be done. What were the other parts of that question? Yeah. Oh, the biggest one is when you'll die. Oh, I would not want to know that. I don't want to know that either. That's crazy. And you would be able to ask if your partner is cheating. Oh. I guess because it's like tapped into you. It's not like. I think we all talk to the same. How do you guys feel about prenups? I get like. Like do I get one? Yeah. Really? You should get. You have to. Well, it depends who you're marrying, really. Well. Yeah, that's true. I would do it either way. I feel like if you've built like all this stuff and like you have your thing, like I don't know. I think there's something not romantic about it. I don't know. I don't think there's something not romantic about it, but I also get it. Like it's like your thing. I mean, I always say that I'm a romantic guy, or at least I think I am. And I don't think a prenup like kills the vibe that much. I think it used to be like this like really negative thing, but I don't. I think people like. I don't know. I think once you get a little older, you do realize that like everything could be 100% incredible, right? Like 1000% incredible. No doubt in your mind that nothing will ever go wrong. Yeah. And then there's still always a chance that it will. Do you know what I mean? There's still always a chance. There's always a chance. But when you're feeling in love to the point where you're like proposing to someone to then damper it with that sentiment. But that's why I'm making the decision right here, right now on the podcast. I have not met this person, but whenever I meet you, let's just do the prenup. No matter how it. Like I do think it's a weird thing to bring up. During that time. Yeah. I don't know. But also like when I have. I like people like really lustfully. I don't think it was love, but I have like lusted at people and I was like, oh, I would take care of this person till the end of time. Sure. So like I have. But that's tough for her. I believe you. That'll be tough for her to believe. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying that once I am in love, I think my mind will change about the prenup because I'll go back to. Like when you're in love, you like go back to like the stone age, right? Yeah. So like you're like. You say all the weird gushy things, things like a prenup actually are kind of weird because you're so in love. You're so in love that like you need to prove to the. Like there's. You need to be. Obviously, I'm not doing a prenup. You can have. I don't care if you take 100% of my money. Like you. I love you so much. Like it's just like. What if I asked you for a prenup? What would you have said? Who would take whose money in this situation? I feel like you guys are tied back and back. And the thing's never worked. I've been. The thing hasn't worked in 30 years. She works now and it's like. She's like. No, I work so hard. Wait, you work? You work? Yeah. I. She does stuff. I work so much. The first marriage ever. It's crazy. Where Naveen married into having to start to work. I like don't know how I was tricked into this. Why did you do that to yourself? Wait, what are you doing? I don't know. I had to learn how to edit. I'm learning AI now. Oh, you're helping Jay. Yeah. Okay, okay, okay, okay. All right, well at least you guys are doing stuff together. But now I feel like I've gotten so many skills that I think I could really. You're on to your next marriage. I think I could level up. Marry Mr. Beast. All right, guys. Well, listen, that's all the time we have for today's pod. Thank you guys for listening. Thanks for everybody that joined. And we will see you guys for the next one. Let us know other riddles or situations or whatever that I should be talking to people about on the podcast. Bye-bye.