How to Find Real Contentment in Christ Alone

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Form them for everyday life and send them into the world for God's mission. You already know that, but here's the real question. Do they? Do your people know that God cares deeply about their work? That their jobs, paid or unpaid are sacred callings too? That what they do in classrooms or conference rooms, job sites or hospital floors, car pools or grocery aisles is all part of how God is renewing the world. That's why Made Deflourish built scatter. Scatter is a simple survey and insight platform that helps you see the real lives of the people you serve and lead. What they do, what they care about, where they're gifted and where they're carrying weight, so you can disciple, care for and commission them with greater clarity and intention. Try scatter free at madedeflourish.org/scatter. That's madedeflourish.org/scatter. Welcome to the Gospel Coalition Podcast, equipping the next generation of believers, pastors and church leaders to shape life and ministry around the gospel. Today, you'll hear a message from Lydia Brownback, originally delivered at TGC's 2022 Women's Conference. Well, it's afternoon. We're going to talk about contentment. And I think it's pretty safe to say that each one of us in this room has something in our life right now today that's not quite right. Something that's incomplete or broken or otherwise, just not the way it's supposed to be. Maybe it's an unmet need or longing, something you've prayed about for a long time. But God seems silent, and nothing ever changes or seems to get better. Or maybe you're one of those who can't quite identify what's not working. Nothing's really wrong in your life, but you have this undercurrent of dissatisfaction, something you just can't seem to shake. But you don't get it because you know you have so much to be grateful for. If you find yourself to satisfy this afternoon, whatever the cause and whether you see it clearly or you can't quite put your finger on it, the question is, what are you doing about it? How are you living with it? Whatever's provoking that sense of something not quite right, that discontentment, we've basically got two options. We can take it to the Lord, or we can ignore it or avoid it with busyness or some other handy escape. I don't know about you, but the choice I make depends on the day. And too often, the quick fix is what I go for. Whatever low-hanging fruit makes me feel better in the moment. Now, I don't want to be like that, and I assume you don't either, and that's part of why you're here this afternoon. But why oh why, when things don't seem right, even something minor, do we ever opt for escape or avoidance instead of drawing near to the Lord with trust and humble seeking and patience? Avoiding can be so subtle that we're hardly even aware we're doing it, but it's risky, isn't it? Because spiritual calluses can form on our heart, and if they do, it's all too easy to carry on is if everything is fine, just living our routines and going through the spiritual motions. But underneath, we know that everything isn't fine. So that's what we're getting at today. So we want to talk about during this brief time together. So I want us to think about what's our default, what's your default when circumstances don't match your hopes. Are you drawing near to the Lord? Are you seeking some other coping strategy? If we find ourselves avoiding or seeking some way of escape, it could be that at some heart level, this dissatisfaction we feel, this disappointment or discontentment, it's whispering to us that God isn't good. And that might be the case if our praying regularly feels like formality. Or if our walk with God is just going through the motions, our responses to disappointment are a window into our heart. And we see this so clearly from ASAP, the author of Psalm 73. You might want to turn there if you can see in your Bibles in this room, because we're going to kind of walk through his journey from this place of something not right to a place of contentment. He shows us in this Psalm how to deal with our dissatisfaction and our disappointments in a way that brings change, not necessarily to our circumstances, but most definitely in a way that changes us. So who was this man, ASAP? He was a Levite from the tribe of Levi, which means he was born into a lot of spiritual privileges. The Levites were the priests who managed everything that went on in the temple. And that's where God met with his people in those days in the Old Testament. So ASAP was a Levite and he was also a musical man and apparently a really talented one because he was a worship leader in Israel. So that's his background, the framework through which he filtered all of his experiences. And each one of us has a framework, our past and our present makes up our framework. And it shapes the way we process life, our own life that's going on all around us. And here in Psalm 73, we see why this man, a leader with a spiritually privileged background, was dissatisfied with his life and what changed him. What we learned from him first is that we can have all the spiritual privileges in the world and still have wrong thinking about God. And it's this wrong thinking, not our circumstances, that robs us of contentment. In the Psalm, ASAP describes a time when wrong thinking about God got the better of him. And it's not where he ended up though. His brief story has so much to show us, so much to teach us. So here's how it begins in verse 1. He says, "Truly God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart." So before ASAP looks back on his personal story, we see where he is now. God is good. He's telling us what he's thinking today. And he qualifies that a bit. He says, "God is good to the pure in heart." So we know that he isn't saying that God's goodness is only available to super spiritual people. If that were necessary, none of us would ever experience God's goodness, right? From a biblical perspective, the pure in heart are people who orient their lives around the Lord. Jesus Himself said, "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God." And that's key in our quest for contentment, seeing God as He really is. Right seeing is the antidote to wrong thinking. And it happens through our union with Christ, as the Spirit transforms us to pursue the Lord with single mom. divine devotion. So when ASAP says that God's good to the pure in heart, we can take it to mean that those who seek God wholeheartedly are blessed with discernment and clarity regarding God and His loving kindness. And because of that, they're able to recognize His goodness in personal, tangible ways. And we know from this side of the cross, the other side from what ASAP was on, that this sort of pure heart is possible only in Christ. So right at the outset, before ASAP launches into his personal story, he sets out the reality, this goodness of God. And then he begins his recall, a time when he wasn't pure-hearted, because he had his heart set on other things. And it had a really negative impact on his entire life. Because for me, he says in verse two, contrary to the pure in heart, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped. But right at this point is where we get a hint of God's grace. ASAP says his steps had almost stumbled and nearly slipped. He didn't fully stumble or slip because God didn't let him, any more than he lets us, because he's promised to keep hold of his people. And as we're going to see, God was hanging onto ASAP even when he wasn't hanging onto God. But then ASAP explains why he began to stumble, why dissatisfaction got such a foothold in his life. He says, I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. ASAP was envious of people who despised God and God's authority. Despite his privilege calling and his closeness to God's presence in God's house and his place among God's people, he envy those on the outside. It wasn't other spiritually privileged people that he envied. It was people who didn't even know God, and he envied them because he was dissatisfied with God's provision for his own life. ASAP links his discontented heart to envy. And isn't it so true that envy is a fruit of discontentment, and discontentment is likewise a fruit of envy. They're linked together vitally. And ASAP envied wealthy, prestigious unbelievers. What about us? Are there people that we envy or are there people that you envy? If so, what do they have that you don't, but you wish you did? A certain relationship maybe, or a job, or a ministry opportunity, or maybe someone else's looks, or their talent, or their health? Whatever it is, discontentment thrives when we believe that we lack something that we need to have, or that we really want to have. And when we see someone else possessing and enjoying this thing that we want, we begin to think how much nicer life would be if we had it to. And the more we dwell on it, the more we think we have to have that thing until we've convinced ourselves that our well-being depends on getting it. And then as we focus more and more on others who have that thing, we start to wonder why they get to have it, and we don't. It just seems so unfair. And that's when we start to question the goodness of God. I have a younger friend struggling with deep-sated dissatisfaction right now about her life. She's in her 40s, she's single, and she doesn't understand why God would create something good-like marriage, and hard-wire her to want it, to long for it, but then withhold it from her. Her perplexity is totally understandable, but she's not just perplexed. She's frustrated and angry to the point where she can't stand to be around dating or married couples. So sure, God made marriage, and the longing for it, He designed us that way, but does that mean He isn't good to those of us who don't have it? This is where wrong thinking about God so easily takes us when we can't experience the fulfillment of some good thing that others all around us seem to be enjoying. The most contented women I know are the ones who recognize that God is just as good in what He withholds as in what He gives. There's always a goodness in the withholdings of God. Moses for ASAP, he saw the power and the pleasure that these other people had, and he wanted to experience it for himself. Envy, it's like cancer. In fact, Proverbs tells us that envy makes the bones rot. And the writer of Ecclesiastes says, "I saw that all toil and all skill and work comes from a man's envy of his neighbor." And Jesus himself said, "Out of the heart come all kinds of evil things," and he included envy in this list he goes on to give. In other words, envy comes not from what we don't have. It comes from our heart. Have we ever stopped to think about the fact that envy was the human factor in why Jesus was put to death? Mark tells us in his Gospel that the chief priests delivered Jesus up for crucifixion because they were envious of him. I don't think we realize how powerful envy is, but we humans are creatures who envy. It's woven into the fabric of our fallen nature, and for his season it got over on ASAP. He says, "I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked." And notice how envy took hold of him? He saw. And this isn't so much as seeing with his eyes. It was seeing with his heart. He describes what they look like, and his description of these people, we wouldn't envy them, the way he describes it. But in his culture this is what it looked like. He says, "They have no pangs until death. Their bodies are fat and sleek. They are not in trouble as others are. They're not stricken like the rest of mankind. Therefore pride is their necklace. Their hearts overflow with folly. They set their mouth against the heavens. Their tongues struts through the earth." And they say, "How can God know, is their knowledge in the most high? Behold, these are the wicked, always at ease, and they increase in riches." So he's describing there, people who are prosperous and healthy and basking in luxuries. They seem to control their circumstances, and they got to enjoy the finer things in life with very little suffering. Their money made life easy, and they were getting away with sin. They did evil things and only prospered as a result. So that's what made ASAP question God's ways. So what about God's ways? Do we question? There have been times when my struggle has looked a lot like ASAPs, this envy of those who seem to ride through life on advantages that just land in their laps. And at times I sometimes feel this old envy kicking in, even when I'm most grateful for the many, many blessings and advantages that the Lord has given me. I begin to see with coveting eyes, imagining incorrectly that these other people who have something that I don't, that their life is just one big happy day. An ASAPs envy is primarily about material prosperity and the power that it conveys. He sees those pleasures, that ease, and he wants the same freedom from anxious care. But that's not the issue for many of us. It's more about family, marriage and motherhood, or opportunities to use our gifts in ministry or at work or in some other way. And we don't understand why God doesn't open those doors for us when they seem to slide right open for others. Right? It's clear that ASAP saw the wickedness of these people he envied, but it didn't stop his envy. He was too focused on the benefits he pictured. That's why. He imagined this life they were enjoying. It's what happens when we look at social media sometimes. I can't look at social media on a bad day because I'm going to picture that everyone else's life is exactly what it looks like on their Instagram. And it's not. Right? We all know that, but if we do a scroll through our feed, how often does that make us suddenly discontented with our own life? A lot, I think, at least it does for me. In ASAP's case, he's looking around at all these other people and their assets opened all kinds of doors for them. He sees that. And it was this. This means to experience power and pleasure and ease that he wanted for himself. So even though he sees the folly of these people, in fact, he notes that their heart overflows with follies. He craved what they have, control, power, ease, luxury. And what he sees with these heart eyes shakes up his faith because it doesn't match what he understands about God, what he thought he's understood about God, and God's promises. In fact, when he looks at his own life and he looks at theirs and he thinks about what he knows of God, it all seems contradictory to him. So he gets to this point where he's drowning in this poisonous mix of envy and discontentment and doubt, and here's how he expresses it. He says, "All in vain if I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence." In other words, he's saying, "What's the point?" Why follow God? I'm one of God's very own people, so shouldn't I have it better than they do? After all, I worship him, I serve in the temple. While Bae is commands, why be faithful, he's thinking, when it doesn't benefit my life in more tangible ways? And that's an easy place to get. When life, when God's ways with us, aren't what we expected them to be. Sooner or later, that what's the point question is likely to tempt all of us the way it tempted ASAP. And when it does, it's actually a mercy, because it shines a spotlight on our heart. It's when we see whether we're following God for who he is or for what we've hoped he's going to do for us. Whenever discontentment gets a foothold or when envy starts to take over, it's a good time to ask ourselves why we're following Jesus. Is it for who he is or for what we want him to do for us? This is how ASAP describes that dark time. All the day long, I've been stricken and rebuked every morning. Those are his words for the fruit of bitterness. It's the second time he's used the word stricken in this Psalm. The first, he's describing the wicked by saying, "They're not stricken." And here he says, "He is stricken despite his devotion to the Lord." And this is where dissatisfaction with God eventually takes us if we let it to bitterness. And ASAP was stuck there. But then we hear another note of grace even at this low point. He writes this. He said, "If I had said, I will speak thus." In other words, "If I walked around sharing my complaints, I would have betrayed God's own people." So how's that a grace note? It's a grace note because he's saying that he didn't broadcast his bitterness and the fact that he didn't show that he still had faith despite his dissatisfaction. Because those who truly reject God do all they can to bring others down with them. But not ASAP, he refused to poison the faith of others. So we're seeing little notes of encouragement, even in his lowest point. God's hanging on to him. This doesn't mean, of course, when he didn't broadcast his struggle, that we shouldn't share our struggles. We should share our struggles, our life struggles, our spiritual struggles, with our friends and other people. In fact, we must, God's given us each other for that purpose. It's not the sharing that it's a problem. It's cynical bitterness. That's what he didn't communicate. That's what he's saying. Bitterness is contagious. Have you ever noticed how if you spend hours and hours with a negative person, it's not long before you find yourself questioning God's goodness and entering into your own battle with discouragement, it can be such a downer to be with a negative person for hours and hours. And we find this warning in Hebrews, see to it that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble and by and by it many become defiled. Bitterness defiles the people around us. So, ASAP tries to work all this out in his heart, but as he does, he hits his lowest point. He said, "When I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a weirysome task." Do you ever feel that way? Does searching out answers to God's way with you and your life and why he's answered prayers and way he has or withheld answers to prayers? Does it seem weirysome? Overwhelming, feudal? That's what drives us to avoidance and escape. When we can't find those answers and we're frustrated with looking, those low-hanging fruits of escapism are so close by. And we often go there rather than to the Lord. And it's these feelings of like this weiriness that's the mark of discouragement. But something happened to ASAP that stopped his discouragement from bottoming out at despair. This is what he tells us. He says, "When I thought how to understand this, it seemed to me a weirysome task until I went into the sanctuary of God." So, rather than turning from God, he gets himself into the presence of God and as a result, what happened? His thinking changed. His clouded judgment suddenly became unclouded. And I'm always so gripped by that when I get to this point in the psalm. Yet we're tempted to seek relief from discontentment and doubt and envy and a host of other heart problems in psychology or pharmacology or different circumstances, but answers to spiritual problems are only ever found in the presence of God. For ASAP, that happened by going into the temple. And as he focused on God, his right view of reality was restored. He says, "I went into the sanctuary of God and then I discerned their end, the end of the people who I've been envying all this time." He realizes that his perception of the good life has been an illusion. Discernment grows in God's presence. And as ASAP shifts the gaze of his heart eyes to God, his discernment sharpens even more. And he begins to see the truth about these people even more, the people he's been envying. Here's what he sees. He said, "Truly God, you set them in slippery places. You make them fall to ruin. How they're destroyed in a moment swept away. O Lord, when you rouse yourself, you despise them as phantoms. They're like mist. So as eyes were open to the reality that no one determines their destiny. These people who he's looked at in envy because they seem to control their lives, no one determines their destiny, and suddenly he's able to see that. Unbelievers who seem to sin with no consequences don't control their destiny. And not our fellow believers who seem more blessed than we do. God controls everything and everyone at every moment in life." So ASAP continues his reflection and he says, "When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant. I was like a beast toward you, God." So ASAP says, "His bitterness made him animal-like." And he doesn't mean a scary wild animal. He's talking about one that's dumb and senseless. He's been nursing wrong, thinking about God, and about the reality of sin, and how God deals with sin. And he was unreality about his own life, and it had left him temporarily without any sense. But as ASAP got into the presence of God, he was humbled. And isn't it true that going into the presence of God, of choosing to turn there, is itself an act of humility? And it's what tenderizes the heart to see. And what's so amazing here is what ASAP says about God. He says, "Nevertheless, I'm continually with you. You hold me by my right hand." And that nevertheless is another grace note. God didn't turn away when ASAP was dissatisfied, when he's hungering for pleasure and prosperity more than he was hungering for God. So despite my brutishness, he says, despite my envy and craving for pleasure and power, and despite my wondering whether it's worth it to keep on following you, Lord, you don't let me go. Even when I'm not sure I want you, you never stop wanting me. And I don't know about you, but that wows me. I can't even comprehend grace like that. Our sins, our questions, our doubts, and our endless cravings don't turn God away in disgust or anger. Those who truly belong to Him, He never lets go of. We may stop pursuing God, but He never stops pursuing us. And not only does God hold ASAP, He guides Him. ASAP says, "You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you'll receive me to glory." Let's clear from this verse what kind of guidance God gives. It's not about the details of ASAP's life here. Where He should go or what He should do and who He should do it with. It's guidance in depasive, right thinking, that lead to right living and contentment and joy. It's so true that guidance isn't something God gives to us as something He does for us. God's guidance is about directing our lives into the situations and circumstances that are best going to accomplish His own life. good purposes for us and for others and for his glory. That's how he guides all the time. He doesn't guide passively, it's powerfully, decisively active, and he's always guiding each one of us, even when we aren't looking for it or desiring it. So all this ASAP sees is a result of getting into God's presence. And here's where he ends up. It's the heartbeat of this psalm. It's why this is the contentment psalm, in my opinion. He says, "Whom have I in heaven but you?" And there is nothing on earth I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. This man went from questioning his faith, questioning the goodness of God, to saying that there's nothing more real. He went from discontentment with his life to grasping not only up here, but here that nothing this life offers compares to what he has with and in the Lord. He goes from wrong thinking to clarity, clarity about God and about himself and about his own life. And as a result, he's able to see and acknowledge his inability to choose what's best for himself. God is the one who guides him and determines his destiny. He's safe and secure because the strength of the Lord sustains him without fail. So can you echo his words, "Whom have I in heaven but you?" And there is nothing on earth I desire besides you. That's the heartbeat of contentment. I've tasted it from time to time. "Whom have I in heaven but you?" There's nothing on earth I desire besides you. Have you experienced God's being so utterly enough for you that everything else fades in comparison? Once we've tasted it even a little bit, nothing else ever satisfies us in quite the same way again. And that's what's so exciting about it. This experience of contentment like this is God's will for us. He wants us to know that depth of joy and contentment. We have to say though that this kind of contentment very often comes through painful times like ASAPs. He got there through going down first, through questions and perplexities and expectations not being met. It's much harder to know contentment with all God is for us in Christ if we get everything we want out of this life. And sometimes perhaps lots of the time, contentment in Christ grows deepest through unfulfilled desires. You know, I'm single and many of you know me know that I'm single. I've always been single and I never fail. I mention this because I've seen this again and again. When I speak to groups of women and there's young women in the crowd, I often see them crossing their arms and sort of slinking down in their seats. And I realize over time that they're a little afraid to listen to me because they're afraid if they do, they're going to catch what I have. And I'm quick to assure them that God's will normal ordering of things is marriage, not for everybody. And so they can go ahead and listen. It's okay. It's not fading them to spinsterhood. And years ago I tell them I was exactly where they were. I was terrified that I would have to spend my life as a single woman. And over time when I finally leaned into the Lord with trust and said okay, whatever you want, I've all these doors started to open up. And it was like God was saying not that but this. And that's not true. I don't know how he works differently in every life, but that's how he worked in mind. To where all these decades later now I can look back and say I love my life and nothing is missing. And sure, you know, it would be great to maybe someday that will change. But you know what, if it never does, I'm happy. I'm contented because the Lord's ordering of my life is good and acceptable and perfect. And I'm not just saying that on paper, I love my life. And so people say well, you know how do you know you were called to be single? And I'll say if I get to the end of my life and I never got married, I'll know I was called to be single. And the meantime, I get to be here at conferences like this and meet so many wonderful people. I love my life. Thank you, Lord. So how about you? Are you living in the truth of Psalm 73, 25? Who may by in heaven but you and there is nothing on earth I desire besides you? If you're not living in it today, have you ever? Where are you on ASAP's path this afternoon? The turning point comes by getting into God's presence, not by trying harder to change your circumstances or trying harder to be more spiritual in hopes that God will change your circumstances if you grow in your faith. And ASAP adds this in verse 26, "My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion." Like ASAP, we fail. We stumble and slip but we will not fall away. And in the course of this Psalm, think about it. ASAP journeyed a great distance spiritually but his actual steps were very few. He simply entered the sanctuary. He went into God's presence. He turned his spiritual focus upward and it changed everything. He's no longer ruled by envy but by contentment. So he says, "It's good to be near God. I've made the Lord God my refuge that I may tell of all your works." He made the Lord God his refuge, not in the sense of putting God in that place, but acknowledging and seeing that God already was there. God is his refuge and by spending time in God's presence, he's able to say with all his heart, "It is good." So as we wrap up here, there's a few things to reflect on from Psalm 73. A few takeaways. First, Psalm 73 shows us the danger of bitterness. ASAP shows us that bitterness is disappointment run in mock. It's the echo of his soul that cries, "It's not fair." Bitterness takes hold when we believe we've failed to get some good we deserve or we've received some bad that we think we don't deserve. And it can happen when our best efforts don't produce visible fruit when living a godly life doesn't pay off in tangible ways when we're good stewards of our bodies but get some awful disease anyway. When we pour ourselves out in love only to be rejected, when we've trusted God with the desires of our hearts but they remain unfulfilled. Bitterness. Here's the second take away. We have no need to envy anyone if we belong to God through Jesus Christ. Our lives today are exactly where God wants them today. And He can change them anytime He chooses. He can make our dreams come true or He can change those dreams and hopes into something else or He can work some amazing thing into our lives and hearts by letting those dreams and hopes remain just that dreams and hopes. There's no need for envy if God is the Lord of your life. Everything is the way it's supposed to be today. Third, getting into God's presence is necessary for a right perspective on what God's doing in our lives and on God Himself. So we make use of the means He provides. Being involved in our church, sitting under sound teaching, reading scripture, praying, seeking godly counsel when we're struggling. It's when it enables us to judge our circumstances by scripture rather than judging scripture by our circumstances. Our final take away is this. Contentment is God's will for us, no matter our circumstances. And in Christ, contentment is always possible. It doesn't mean we're never going to have sorrow, doesn't mean we're going to stop desiring, yearning for things, but it does mean that we can be contented and fulfilled even when we've got unfulfilled dreams and desires. Asaf shows us that. Through his very dark time, he'd learned the secret of contentment. It's about living for one thing, the Lord our God. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there's nothing on earth I desire besides you. That's where we find it. In Him is every desire fulfilled. Now I want to close with the words from a hymn. A few centuries ago, this hymn writer and poet William Cooper, probably many of you are familiar with him. No doubt you've sung as hymns in church. He suffered a lot in his life. life, and most of his dreams never came true. And from what I've read about him, he traveled A staff's path more than once, and it's not clear where he ended up at the end of his life. But in his moments of right thinking about God, he wrote to him that many of us know, because it speaks to those perplexities, those disappointments that we're wrestling with. That's why I want to close with it. Let me read this. God moves in a mysterious way, his wonders to perform. He plants his footsteps in the sea and rides upon the storm. You fearful saints, fresh courage take. The clouds use so much dread. Our big with mercy and shall break. In blessings on your head. His purposes will ripen fast, unfolding every hour. The bud may have a bitter taste, but sweet will be the flower. Blind unbelief is sure to air and scan his work in vain. God is his own interpreter, and he will make it plain. Close us in prayer. Lord, you know the unmet longings, yearnings of every woman in this room and watching us online. Lord, you know, and you are sovereign over the details of those. You can change them in an instant. You can fulfill them. But thank you for how you've ordered every life listening today, just where it is today. And we pray, Lord, that you would lead us more deeply into your presence to see you rightly. And we ask that you would give us this echo in our hearts, whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth I desire besides you. Amen. Thanks for listening to today's episode of the Gospel Coalition podcast. Check out more Gospel-centered resources at thegospelcolytion.org. At the Gospel Coalition Women's Conference next June, thousands of women from around the world will gather in Indianapolis to turn their eyes to Jesus. In the seven keynote sessions, we'll learn from the Psalms how to bring our emotions and experiences, all of life, to God, so that our lives are transformed by His. Keynote speakers are Nancy Guthrie, Vanessa Hawkins, Melissa Krueger, Ruth Cho Simon, Mark Brogop, Jen Wilkin, and me, Courtney Doctor. TGCW26 is a conference for women about God. Join us for three days of Gospel-centered teaching, worship, learning, and connection. Go to TGCW26.com. That's TGCW26.com. [BLANK_AUDIO]