How to Educate Others to Refer You

Episode number eight hundred and eighty eight. How to educate others to refer you. You're listening to the official B&I podcast with B&I founder and chief visionary officer Dr. Ivan Meissner. Stay tuned for networking and referral marketing tips from the man who's been called the father of modern networking along with suggestions and insights into getting the most from your membership in the world's largest networking organization B&I. Hello everybody and welcome back to the official B&I podcast. I'm Priscilla Rice and I'm coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, California. And I'm joined on the phone today by the founder and the chief visionary officer of B&I, Dr. Ivan Meissner. Hello Ivan, how are you and where are you? I am home in Austin, Texas to celebrate in the U.S. Thanksgiving. So I'm going to be with family this week and celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday. Oh, great. Okay. And who do you have with us? I have a really good friend of mine. He's been a friend for a long time. Phil Berg, Phil and I and Barat Daga are working on a book called Networking's a Marathon, Not a Sprint. You're gonna hear more about it next year. It's a great book and looking forward to coming out. Phil's been on the B&I podcast before. It was at least once, episode 689. The only difference between online and offline is the spelling, which I love that title. So he's been on before, check that out. His business career started in the retail industry in the 1970s and then in parentheses, he says, "Yes, I'm old." He started by selling carpets and flooring on a market stall leading to a building and a well-reputed retail flooring company. And he was a member of B&I from 1997 until a transaction that he had in 2007. So he's been in B&I a long time. He specializes in helping companies and his expertise really is in effective networking and leadership. Phil, welcome back to B&I podcast. Thank you so much and happy Thanksgiving. Thank you. I appreciate that. So you got a couple of things here that I think are really interesting in terms of educating others how to refer you. And I think this is critical. I think this is the thing we really get wrong as members is that we just do our shtick instead of educating people how to refer them. So you have three tips that you want to share. One is that it's not about you talk about that. Yeah, I think the reality is because public speaking, etc., is a very big fear. I think people need to become better and better educators, become more confident. And I think one of the things they need to start understanding is that it's what people need to hear as against what we fill the time in. So people tend to stand up and say, I do this, I do that, I want this, I want that. Instead of thinking, what does the other person need to hear to be able to refer me? Yeah, I mean, and that's an educational process. You're going to teach them how to think about you, isn't it right? Correct. Yeah. It's, I always say, don't teach people to be you, teach people to connect you, build those relationships, to empower people to want to help you. And then give them the tools they need to have the ability to help you. So how can they be specific not only about who they want, but how the referers can approach them? Yeah, I think this, ultimately, once I know who you want, really, the missing piece is to understand your value to the other person. I will be able to refer you so much easier when I'm doing the other person a favor by giving them you. So if I understand your value to the other person, then I'm going to actually be excited to introduce you because they have a need. And you have a solution, and then it simply becomes a good deed. But I need to know what their need is and what your solution is, if that makes sense. Yeah, it makes sense to me. Can you give an example? Do you have any idea of an example that might resonate with a member? So, for example, as we get older in our years, there may be a few aches and pains. And therefore, I know of somebody that's a qualified chiropractor, for example, that has specialized in, if you like, easing the pain of an older, more mature person. So it's understanding that, you know, I really have someone that can make a difference to you, and therefore I can introduce you. So we need to start educating the people around us of our value to the other person. And so the chiropractor really needs to talk at some point, obviously not every week, but about being able to help aging individuals with aches and pains. So it's really reliant on the chiropractor to educate, right? Correct. And it is totally the responsibility of the educator. It's, you know, I remember you gave me a fantastic line once, and years and years ago, and you said, it's not my responsibility to refer you, Phil. But I remember thinking, well, yes, it is. And then you said this, and it was amazing. You said, no, it's your responsibility to teach me how to refer you. And that stuck big time. Yeah, thank you. And I really still believe that with members, it's the members responsibility to teach people how to refer them, because we're not in that business. You're in that business, they're in that business, and they have to learn how to teach people to think about them. I've got a really good podcast on standing in the middle of a referral, which talks about that. And go back and find that podcast if you're listening to this one, because it talks about that at length. All right, so we know you want them, but why do they want you? Yes. So ultimately, with that, we should think of ourselves as solution providers, if you like. I remember my young kid brother used to work for my flooring company, and he just said to me one day, he said, you know, so why are we good? And when I look back at this, I can't believe I answered it. But I said this very sincerely, I went, well, because we are. And he went, well, I understand that, but why? And I actually got a bit annoyed with him and said, well, I've just told you, we are. And the reality is, I learned to actually start searching, actually, why am I good? If I would like an introduction to somebody that's likely to already be using my competitor. What compelling reason could I teach the people around me to give them the tools to say, hey, but does your existing supplier do this? Or would this be an added benefit? And I really learned to look into my own business, and instead of taking it for granted without being arrogant, but just I just knew I was good. But when push comes to shove, I really didn't know why. And I had to search for those answers. Yeah. And then share that information, because one of the things I say is it's not your confidence that counts. It's my confidence in your ability to provide a quality product or service. And how do I gain that confidence? Well, I have to gain that from you. You have to show me why I should be confident in your ability to provide a quality product or service. Yeah. And as we know, the way we're seen as doing anything is the way we're perceived as doing everything. So the way we appear, the way we behave, et cetera, that's going to give people confidence in kind of who we are, our values, et cetera. But then they simply need the tool. So a great one, for example, is a line of entry. So me, for example, this would help everyone listening. It's teaching your referrers a line of entry and a line of entry for someone like me, for example, as a sales trainer. If you meet somebody that sells motor cars, you've only got to say to them, do your team sell as many cars as you as you like? The answer will always be, we can always sell more or no. And then it's simply saying, hey, you know, I've got someone that I truly believe could be a value to you. Would you trust me to take the call? So there's a line of entry. If people could learn that, it makes it easier for us to talk about you. So a lot of members feel they are being specific and yet they still don't feel they receive the referrals they want or enough of them. I ran into somebody like that just a week or so ago. What are your thoughts on that? Well, I think I think people think they're being specific because no one's told them they're not. Yeah. And we only know that I told him. I told him he wasn't because because he shared with me what he did. And I'm like, that's not specific enough. So you're I agree completely, but I cut you off. Go ahead. No, no, exactly. I'm laughing with you. So I think being specific is going as deep as you can. You know, don't I always say, don't give people around you the brains. I mean, you know, compliments to you as well. You once said to me, if if I've got to do the you know, if you can't be bothered to do the research to teach me, then don't ask me to be bothered. And I think we've got to make it simple for the other person to understand who you want. And the way to do that is to simply incorporate maybe a few things. I'd like an instruction to this person and their name. Ideally, this is the position in the company or this is if it's business to consumer, this is the age group. This is where they would live. This is the type, you know, they'd have two children at this age. So it's making me think of someone that you want. So ideally, if it's business to business, name of the person, ideally the position they're in, ideally the name of the company and certainly the industry. Because I may not know that person, I may not know that company, but I do know somebody else in the industry. So what? Yeah, it's kind of intuitive to people. They think that they need to be broad, but the treat is the more specific. They are the more likely they are to get a referral. We're almost out of time. Any last thoughts before we wrap up? I think I think do your research, everybody. You know, the world has changed and it is a lot easier to do your research on Google, etc. And just remember this. If you ask for small, you'll get small. If you ask for big and use the same strategy, then everyone knows people you want. And when you say do your research, you mean learn how to educate people to refer you, correct? Learn how to educate, but also understand who you want. Many people don't actually know who they want. They fall into the trap of saying, I want an interior designer. Which one? Yeah, yeah, I love it. Really valuable information, Phil. For anyone who wants information, more information about Phil, go to philberg.coach, that's P-H-I-L-B, as in boy, B-E-R-G, .coach-C-O-A-C-H, philberg.coach, Phil. Thanks for being on the B&I Podcast again. Love it and happy Thanksgiving to you and the family. Thanks. Over to you, Priscilla. Okay. Well, that's it for this week. Thank you both so much for that great information. 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