How to Discern God’s Will (Without Overthinking It)

I've tried to make prayer more less of a time and more of a lifestyle and to just talk to God about everything because he's concerned about everything. Yeah. Yeah. Hello there. You're listening to the Girl Talk podcast. My name is Carol. I'm Kelly. I'm Tricia. And we're glad you've joined us today. We're going to be talking about God's will for the new year. How do you know what it is and how can you be sure and all the questions that come along with it? So our question to start this episode is what is God asking you to start, continue, or stop? I mean, I think that's like encompasses everything. Everything we do is either to start it or to stop it or to continue it. Yes. But in order to get to those questions, you have to stop doing things and reflect and listen. And that's one thing I think we don't do enough of listening to God. I'm excited. I'm excited because I've got a new opportunity that I'm going to take on in the new year. You know, we've joined a new church and I finally get to serve. I finally got to a place where I was like, okay, I'm now I'm engaged enough. I'm healthy enough. I'm going to serve and I want to give back to my new brand new church family. And so I'm going to serve in the children's ministry. So that's my new thing for 2026 is to get back and serve in the children's ministry. So I'm super excited. I'm going to be on the welcome team for the children's ministry. So yeah, that's wonderful. I get to be excited. They will love you. Welcome to church. Yeah. So, but you didn't arrive at that conclusion of service by any other way other than stopping and spending time listening. I spent almost two years listening and stopping and not just a, not just a month, not just a stopping something at the end of the year and starting something new at the beginning of the year. I had a season of rest and a season of reflection and a season of searching. What is God calling me to? And what does he want me to do? What does he want me to stop doing? There was a whole lot of stopping. Yeah. Um, and then a whole lot of thinking about God, where are you taking me? And then now I'm to the place where there's joy and excitement and I'm looking forward to this starting the new. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is great. So good. That is great. I think so many times when you say God's will, people often go to the big decisions of life, like who am I supposed to marry or what job am I supposed to do? And I'm like, what city am I supposed to take or what city am I supposed to live in? Do you think God's will is always just the big things? Oh no. I think it's in everything. Okay. Let's talk about that a bit, because I think we, we kind of, um, compartmentalize God's will into those big decisions. And I think it's so much more than that. Well, I think what you're maybe hitting on, which certainly something that I am hoping to improve on, which is only praying for the big things, right? Like, okay, well, I'll just go ahead and do most of my day, God. But when it comes time for me to, uh, go to that work meeting or do that thing, then I'm going to pray about it. Cause I need your help on that. The rest of it, I'm good. Gotcha. So, uh, learning to pray a lot more and be open a lot more, but I, going back to what you said at the beginning, which is the, the value of listening instead of just talking to God. So, so many prayers have been telling God my things. Here's what I'm going to do. Here's what I need. Here's what I'm thinking. Here's what I'd like you to do. Um, instead of being very intentional about listening for what he might say back to me, what he might be putting on my heart. And, you know, and I say, listening to God, it's not typically like I'm hearing a voice in my head, but a thought comes to my mind that's in line with God's word. A thought comes to my mind. That is something that I, maybe I don't even want to do, but I feel like God wants me to do. A thought comes in my mind to act out in love towards somebody. So I feel like listening is so important and I don't always do that. And I want to get better about that. I think that's an important thing to add to this, to, to this new year. So how do we listen in prayer? How do you listen for the voice of God? And how do you know? You know, for me, it's, getting outside of my regular routine to be able to hear God really lead me and guide me in a new direction. Um, I have to, I don't really mean this quite as dramatic as it is, but I have to kind of clear the stage. You know, I have to get rid of all of the distractions of the normal, you know, just think back to this time last year. Um, I was part of where I was in my, um, in my journey, um, of listening to God. The time when he gave me like my word for 2025 this time last year, um, was because I was in a different place. I was in a different environment. I'd gone to Florida for a conference. And so I was in a different place. And so I was more receptive to hear God talk to me because I wasn't doing the same thing all the time. I wasn't just seeing the dishes. Right. Yes. Right. I wasn't just going to, you know, work the normal way. I wasn't just, uh, doing, you know, all the same thing I do every day, but I had a change in my routine. Yes. A pattern interrupter. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. And I, so I think that's one way we can really listen to God is to go, okay, I'm going to have a pattern interruption in my normal, um, so that I can kind of be fresh, have fresh ears to hear and a fresh heart to discern. That's good. What it is that I'm wanting me to hear. Um, and obviously, you know, stopping and listening and stop the talking so that you can do the listening is good. Uh, but sometimes it just, it, there's too many distractions in our normal life around us. And I will say this, uh, there have been, of course, when, when you said, you know, you stop doing both of you said, stop doing what you're, what you're normally doing for me, when I discern that God is speaking to me about a certain area of my life, it often happens in threes. And here's what I mean by that. I'll hear a sermon on it. And then I'll hear a song that I've heard before, but I hear it with fresh ears. And that one line sticks out to me. And then maybe a friend who I haven't talked to about this will text me a Bible verse related to, I mean, it, it happens in like threes for me when I know God is really kind of like, okay, Carol, you didn't get it the first time you were still the second time. And now the third time it comes around, it seems to really resonate with me. And, and oftentimes that's when I know that I need to set aside time where I can just spend time with God. I will also tell you, I read a fabulous book the end of last year about prayer. And one of the things that the, the author pointed out was the reason and how we address God matters at the beginning of our prayers, that we are entering God's space from a neutral place. We're not where we live and our feet planted on planet earth is evil. Right. And so when we talk to God, we need to first establish who he is and acknowledge who he is. And he said that first, uh, calling on God is acknowledging who he is and who we say him to be matters. Right. Yes. Um, I know there's a lot of different, uh, uh, different ideas about how we approach God and what we call him, but that made so much sense to me because, and it's not because God needs to be reminded of who he is. It's because I need to be reminded of who he is, you know, and that sets the tone for the rest of my prayer time. But one of the things I also, uh, have learned through time is that if I will, for instance, take a, take a portion of scripture and pray, that scripture, like speak, Lord, your servant is listening. Speak, Lord, your servant is listening. Speak, Lord, your servants and do that just. And when my mind wonders to come back to that verse, it kind of reframes my conversation and, and, and then give time for God to speak and be the servant that is listening, not the servant that is continuing to speak. Right. Don't just say you're doing it, but often a verse like that helps recenter me and say, okay, I'm going to, um, I'm going to really make an environment where God's presence is welcome. Right. I had written down almost the same exact things. Um, first of all, I was reminded that I heard a pastor say recently, praise is God's address. So if you want to connect with God, starting with praise, he inhabits the praise of his people. So starting off praising God, which is kind of what you were saying. Yeah. It's praising God. Um, and when the times when I, have heard or felt as if I've heard from God, often it starts with worship and that, so starting off with praise, maybe singing a song of worship, getting my mind in that place, um, connecting with God through worship, which is what he tells us to do. Enter my gates with Thanksgiving courts with praise. So we're doing that. Thanks to him and bless his name. Yeah. It just opens up, THE EXPERIENCE. He's never not with me or you, but when we praise him, we can sense that presence in an even greater way. And then another thing that you said that I had written down, which is to meditate on a verse. If you're trying to hear from God, clearing your mind works like just waiting, clearing your mind, that is one way of doing it, but also meditating on a promise. And you've mentioned one, you said one. Yeah. Speak, speak, Lord, your servant is listening. Yeah. Or, or a verse like enter his gates with thanksgiving, his courts with praise, God, I'm doing that. But if you, if there's a verse that you are just, just thinking through that, thinking through that allows, allows you to start to really hear from him. So those were the things that I wrote about was just entering in his gates with thanksgiving, starting with worship in prayer, clearing your mind. And then if you needed to meditate on a verse, you could do that. That's another great way of doing it. And then God, he'll bring things to your mind that, that come that, you know, you didn't come up with. Right. Yeah. And one of the things I love that you said to Carol was that it comes in threes. Because I know for me, there's oftentimes where like, I'll get to the end of my prayers and I'm not necessarily hearing God speak to me, but if I've kind of left the window open and I said, okay, God, I want to keep this conversation going. And I want you to expose me to the things that you want me to know about and think about. And I want you to say something. And then I want you to have somebody else confirm that you just said that. And that's just a really good way to grab my attention. Right. Yeah. That if I can just kind of leave that conversation open and say, okay, Lord, I'm going to go about my day now. And will you please give me words as I go throughout my day that point me back to your will, for me, point me back to what you're trying to say to me, make it abundantly clear in all the things that I do. Yeah. Just speak to me in that way. And isn't that the way we should live our lives? Right. Yeah. You know, because after a good prayer session, or if I'm desperately needing to hear from God, I'll do that. I'm like, my ears are tuned. My eyes are looking. I'm waiting to hear from God through a friend or through music, through teaching, through some, something that happens. But other times I'm kind of like, do, do, do, do, do going through, right. But we need to be intentional about listening for God because he's always at work around us. So I love you that you said that. Well, and sometimes for me, if it's, if the answer comes during the prayer time, like I've opened myself up and I'm like, okay, Lord, speak your servants listening. I start second guessing what God is saying to me. Like, I'm like, Oh, is that really God? Was that really Chinese food? Yeah. Was that, is that what I want? Like, am I inserting my will into the prayers or is it God? And so I try to leave that open to go, okay, God, I think I heard you say this. But I'm going to need some confirmation of that in other kinds of ways. So will you keep that top of mind or don't let me forget that. If that's a word from you, will you bring that back to my mind later today? Not just it be a one and done kind of thing, but will you continue to, you know, poke me in the belly with that thought? Keep poking me with that specific thing. And he's so good. He'll do that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. And I think one of the things that probably I spent way too long trying to make my prayer life fit into somebody else's mold because there were for a while it was like all these 10 ways to grow your prayer you know and I all these acronyms right I have always felt like my prayer life was the anemic part of my spiritual walk because I just like I'm easily distracted I you know lose my train of thought I think of everything I need to put on the grocery list and I just kind of had to put some things in place to give me grace in that and to invite God into the middle of that you know oh lord I need to pick up milk today and if there's somebody at the grocery store that you want me to speak to or somebody that I can encourage would you show me that person and help me remember get the milk because so often I go to the store and I come out and I'm like what did I even come in here for you got 17 things and not one of them's on my list no yeah so I think that for me not thinking of prayer as a time but thinking of prayer as a lifestyle yeah I spend a ton of time in the car I don't know about anybody else but I spend a ton of time in the car and I've just made that kind of if I haven't talked to the lord about something already that day I'm just I like process through my day with the lord because I'm single and my daughter is uh it's in her senior year and she's got a lot of stuff going on and she's got a lot of things going on and she's got a lot of things going on and she's got a whole lot she's working she's doing all the things and so I've just made that kind of a uh a default for me when I don't have anybody to talk to I'll talk to him then I get the dogs tore up because I they're like who is she talking to and why aren't they petting me oh yeah right so they get all upset but anyway uh but I've tried to make prayer more less of a time and more of a lifestyle yes and to just talk to god about everything because he's concerned about everything yeah yeah and um I limited myself for far too long to having a prayer time and it didn't look like anybody else's and it wasn't good by those standards and I once I finally turned myself loose from that and just said you can talk to god anytime the scripture says that when we call his name he turns to listen to us that the god of the universe would do that for you and me like if I think on that long it will absolutely blow my mind that the god who spoke the world into being turns when I call his name I mean that you know that's that's pretty amazing and so making prayer more of a lifestyle less of a time for me has helped one thing that's helped me do that because I I love that the best days are the days when I'm talking to god about the milk and about the person and about the thing and about the work thing and about the drive and those are the best days one thing that's helped me kind of you know I've been in the church for a long time and I've been in the church for a long time and I've do that in my mind. I read this book once. I don't even remember the name of the book, but what I remember was it talked about how you can, you can visualize to help yourself and just the, this visual of like literally holding hands with Jesus. And I, not, not everybody likes that, whatever, whatever. But to me, it helped when I would, I would start my devotion in the morning and I would literally like imagine that Jesus is sitting right beside me and I'm taking his hand. He's already there, ready to be with me. And, and also I've, I have also done that when I've flown in an airplane or something that's caused anxiety. I've literally like tried to imagine holding the hand of Jesus and there's such peace there. So I don't know if that may or may not help somebody else, might not help you. But for me, just imagining holding Jesus's hand has really been very, helpful. And it sets me up for the ongoing prayer and conversation all day long because he's always with me. That's practicing his presence, you know, and really visualizing him being there with you because you're right. He is there with us. What else kind of helps you? Well, I was just going to say one more thing about prayer. I have heard that, um, that even Billy Graham said that the, if, when he looked back on his life, if there was something he could change, the one thing he would change is that he would have prayed more. He would have had more conversations with God and it's Billy Graham. And I can imagine his prayer life was really rich, but yet that's the thing. He still felt like he didn't do as well as he wanted to. And so, you know, I think, uh, Carol, there's grace for you. What you said, what you said about how you feel like your prayer life is like the worst part of what you do. You're not the only one. I'm the same way. Um, I know that most of our listeners probably feel exactly the same way. If Billy Graham felt that way, then we all probably feel that way. Um, those of us who want a deeper, more robust walk with God, we feel the same way. We feel the same way. We all want to walk with Christ, uh, want that deeper, robust prayer life. And, um, you're always going to want more. You're always going to want more than what you, what you get. And, um, so anyway, I just wanted to just make sure you knew that there's some grace in that, that, and that you're not alone. Nobody's prayer life has to look perfect. Right. And what is that? Like, I mean, you, there's no judging somebody's prayer. I heard somebody say to me once, oh, you know, you, you're good at praying. I'm like, no, that's, there's no good or bad. It's praying. It's talking. Yeah. Um, I, I have had success thinking of my prayer life, less like a duty and more like an opportunity. It is a joy to get to talk to somebody who loves me and knows me and cares about everything. And when I remember that, then I'm not going to judge myself on how good I do it or how bad I do it or how often I do it, but it's a, it's a great joy. Yeah. Well, you know, we're discerning God's will. We're all different kinds of people. Right. And, um, God's going to speak to us in different kinds of ways. And so trying to take what somebody else does in their relationship with Christ and make it our, you know, our habits necessarily, that's not going to necessarily work. It might, but it also, God's going to treat us differently than he treats other people. And so, right. In a different place and created differently. What's going to work for me is not, you know, the way God's going to get my attention and say, Hey, here's what I want you to do. Here's my will for your life. Right. Is going to be different than the way he's going to treat other people because I'm a different person. Right. Than other people. And that's, that's beautiful. And well, you know, I mean, I know we started this conversation talking about discerning God's will, and we've ended up kind of in a prayer place. And I think. think that brings an interesting conclusion at least for me anyway that the more you pray the less you'll worry about what God's will is because you'll just be doing it like I like that like his presence is enough and and he'll lead you to the right place because I I and I was one of those kids I was like how do I know what God wants me to do with my life and I can't ever tell you that I sat down and said okay God wants me to have a career in radio never that never crossed my mind communications was my major only because my parents wanted me to be an education major and I wanted to go to school and major in recreation with special populations and work with special needs kids and and that that wasn't at the time a big enough industry that they thought I could make a living doing that so communications was kind of a middle ground for us you know and so did God direct the way I was doing it or did God direct the way I was doing it or did God direct that I absolutely believe he did because that gave me the skills and the education necessary to do what I do today but I never sat down and said hey God is this what you want me to do he had just led my steps every step of the way step at a time and and I think it really was because I was just obedient in the small things yeah and I think that's where I want you to land with this if you know if you're dealing with a big decision just do the next small thing that God is calling you to do just get as close as you can to him and you'll end up in the right spot I truly believe that with my whole heart I think we try to make it about marrying the right person or taking the right job or do it take choosing the right major but the the truth of the matter is God will use everything in our lives for his good and for for our good and for his glory if we surrender it to him and that's the other step so that's just where I would end up as far as discerning God's will I think we all kind of have landed there in different ways but we'd love to hear your thoughts if you've got some things that have worked for you or maybe something that you've learned about prayer we'd love to hear from you you can email us at girl talk at the light fm.org don't forget every week we're doing a devotion that goes along with this podcast and you can grab that and work through that maybe help you ask some good questions of yourself and help you grow in your relationship with Jesus and you know what if you don't mind too much before you go away if you could leave a comment or give us a like we sure would appreciate it because it helps more people be exposed to the girl talk podcast so we can tell them about Jesus and that's the whole goal and the reason that we gather around these microphones we're going to save you a seat next time for the next girl talk podcast we'll see you then