How to Date a Billionaire (Dear Sugar Mama)

Hello, I'm Simon Mayo, and I'm Mark Kermod. What a great episode we have for you lined up. Mark, what are you doing on the latest take? It's a packed show. We have reviews of Heart of the Beast, Brad Pitt, and a dog, her private hell, the new film from Nick Winding Reffen, a Bournemon in the Devil, a documentary about the worst film ever made, and sense and sensibility with our super-special guest, gorgeous George McKay. Don't miss a single second of the latest take. Some evil thing happened here. Three people die in a quiet suburb in Mississauga, Canada. It's not a coincidence. One after the other, in the same house. Is this bad luck, or something more sinister? The worst investigative mess I've ever encountered. Long simmering, what took you so fucking long to get here. From Sony Music Entertainment, this is what happened to the Harrison's. I'm Amy Dempsey-Raven. What happened to the Harrison's is available now on the binge. Search for it wherever you get your podcasts to start listening today. Subscribers to the binge can listen to all episodes, all at once, ad-free. What's up rich people? It's me Haley aka Mrs. Dow Jones. And this is Financial Tea. What's up zippers? Welcome back to Financial Tea. This is a very special episode of this podcast because we are in our office studio, which I think looks sick. If you're watching on YouTube, you can probably see those fake Andy Warhol's behind me. Doop culture is alive and well. Actually, such a good decorating tip to just get a picture that you like from Shutter Sock or something blown up and have frame bridge and send it to frame bridge. I've done this in so many apartments and now my office. And I feel like it makes your place look rich as hell. But today is a very special episode because it's almost Valentine's Day. And so I thought to celebrate, we should do a dear sugar momma episode. And just to key you in on what dear sugar momma is, I have a newsletter that you should subscribe to. If you haven't already, just go to Mrs. Dow Jones.com. And twice a month, we do these financial advice columns called dear sugar momma. And they are so lit. The tea is so juicy. Like guys, the submissions that I get are going to absolutely blow your mind. Money drama is crazier than any other kind of drama. I'm not even kidding. But my dream has always been to make dear sugar momma into like a video segment. And so yeah, today we're living our dream. We're doing dear sugar momma live. And guys, these are crazy submissions. And they're all Valentine's Day themed because it's February and we're feeling the spirit. But first, public service announcement. If you are looking for a great Valentine's Day gift, flowers die. Chocolate just gets eaten and sometimes it's gross. But if you want a gift that actually appreciates preorder future rich person, which is my debut book that comes out of May. Okay, dear sugar momma, I feel like you total monster even saying this, but I need a reality check. I've been dating a guy for five months and he is wealthy. We're talking spent New Year's and St. Bart's on a mega yaw wealthy. Wait, what? We were literally at the same party as Alex Earl and Tom Brady? Oh my gosh, that is the tax bracket. I'm currently occupying. But here's the tea. The chemistry is in the basement. The sex is mid would be an overstatement. He has ED. So most nights instead of actually being intimate, we just end up in his $15,000 sheets scrolling our phones in total silence. Like, I'm literally there checking my hinge matches while he's next to me checking his Bloomberg app. I'm not obsessed with him. I'm obsessed with the security and the lifestyle. So am I a financial genius for choosing a soft life over sparks or am I just selling my soul for a private driver? Sincerely sugar baby in denial. Dear sugar baby in denial. This is crazy. But honestly, like if he has ED and you hate the sex, like you're going to just hate your life with him, that literally sounds horrible. And I know that we romanticize being with rich guys because it sounds amazing to not have to work anymore. Like we're all out here grinding girl boss culture. And it's like, no, we just want someone to give us their credit card. But then once you actually have it, you realize free is the most expensive price tag. Like nothing is actually free. I think that the culture has done a really good job of romanticizing financial dependency, like the whole tradwife thing, sugar babies, neppo babies, even we like put this on a pedestal because it seems like the ultimate cheat code that like you just are born into or marry into rich and you don't have to actually earn rich. But money that you don't earn always comes with a super high interest rate. And it's an emotional interest rate. And that actually ends up being so much more taxing than just putting in the money to support yourself and like finding a relationship that actually fulfills you. Look, I think there's a lot of women who wouldn't care about this because their number one value is just being rich. Like they just want to be on that yacht. That's all that matters. But you have to figure out what your values are. Like are you going to end up depressed because you have not a good bone in five years and like the end of the day, Birken bags are just bags. Or you someone who's obsessed with that life and like really values that above like any other kind of relationship. I know for me, I identify as being a gold digger. But I think that it's different because I have my own goal. So what I'm saying is like, I don't want to be a nurse or a purse. But I do want someone who like gets the game and is good with their money and can make money. But I always would want to have my own money. Like I would never want to be fully reliant on someone because I feel like that is definitely like the most expensive thing in the world. Also, you have a lot of risk here too because you're basically like putting it sounds like you're putting your career and life and earning potential on hold to travel and like live with this rich guy. But you're not married to him. And so you're basically putting all your eggs in one basket. And for him, who cares? He can get rid of you and he'll have the money and he can find another girl. But for you, you're going to have no job, no money, and there's no legal raper cushions for him just dumping you if you're not actually married. You're basically one argument away from being homeless, which is crazy, but it's true. You could just kick your ass out. He doesn't know you anything. One of my favorite authors, Helen Gurley Brown, who was like the founder of Cosmopolitan, had a quote that said, a woman should always have their own money so that she can look a man in the eyes and tell him to go to hell. That is the ultimate luxury. So basically, I think that like if you like all the luxury stuff, it's fine to stay with him if that matters more to you than like having a real relationship. But I wouldn't put all my eggs in this basket. I would like try and maintain my earning power and like maybe like keep your own apartment and things like that until you have legal protection from him, like you get married. Don't give your whole life up just because he's taking you on a yacht. So basically, it's okay to want a billionaire. It's okay to want the yacht, but you have to make sure that you had your bets and have your own money so that you can walk off the yacht and walk away from the billionaire if the vibes turn sour. You never want to put all your eggs in a rich man's basket. Imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Jelly mist technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip. No tightness, no stickiness, no residue, just plump, dewy hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new grippy setting mist from Mavily New York. Maybe it's Mavily. One after the other in the same house. Is this bad luck or something more sinister? Long simmering. What took you so fucking long to get here? Subscribers to the binge can listen to all episodes, all at once, add free. When you put your body in the hands of a surgeon, you assume your doctor will do you no harm. I'm looking at the surgery board for tomorrow. These people are ****. Cricket doctors have launched their most ambitious fraud yet worth over $1 billion. One doctor says my kickback was 25,000 and the other doctors go in while we got 12,000. From Sony Music Entertainment and Western Sound, this is Dr. Billions. Coming October 1st to the binge, listen wherever you get your podcasts. Dear Sugar Mama, I am six months into my engagement and we've already dropped 150K in non-refundable deposits for our dream wedding at Avila and Lake Como. Okay, chic. But then I landed a massive promotion. We're talking VP level with an equity package that finally makes my bank account look like a future rich person. Okay, obsessed. Love the shot out. At the same time, I'm watching my best friend go through a divorce that is basically a financial horror movie. She's losing her Hampton's house that she put down half the mortgage for, and half the RSU she worked 80 hour weeks to earn that socks. So I realized I'd be an idiot not to have a prenup, but when I brought it up, my fiance absolutely spiraled. He said it's too late that I'm changing the rules of our relationship, and that if I actually loved him, I wouldn't be planning our divorce before we even cut the cake. Am I being a cold-hearted Bridezilla for wanting to protect the empire and building, or is he a walking red flag for thinking my heart-earned promotion is our money before we even said I do? Sincerely, prenup listen Seattle. Okay, I'm very pro-prinup. Like I think that I actually should be hired by big prenup if that's an industry event to re-brand prenups, because they have this connotation that if you get a prenup that you're basically planning for divorce, but I think that we need to reframe that in our minds and see prenups really as marriage insurance. So like you don't get health insurance expecting to get sick, you just get it to have your own back in case something happens. And so a prenup is the same way. It's just insurance in case something happens, but it doesn't mean that you think that you're getting divorced or that you want to get divorced. So I'm very pro-prinup. I also think that having that sort of financial transparency before you got married is really important, because after all marriage is a business decision. It's basically a merger and you need to know the terms of the contract and the merger before you get into business with this person. The other part of prenup that I need to re-brand is that they're really just for rich people and like if you don't have a ton of assets, you don't need one. I also think that's not true because I think that a prenup just shows that like you're serious about the future that you're building and that you want financial transparency with your partner. You would be shocked at how many people get married without having ever talked about money with their significant other and then money becomes the reason that they divorce. So I do think that this is a red flag of your fiance. I sort of want to know like how you phrased it to him. I feel like maybe part of the issue is like, did you just spring it on him? Some people carry their money traumas from when they're seven years old. That's when we all form our relationships with money. And so like you might have triggered seven-year-old him who like hates talking about money or like something happened with his parents and like this just he's not a bad person. It just like brought him back to a place that felt bad. So we're going to give him the benefit of the doubt. I think that you need to set him down in a calm way. Make it seem like the prenup is for both of you not just to protect your money to protect him to and then let's see how he reacts. And I know that there's this added pressure of like the big deposit that you put down in late coma, but like girl so many people want to get married in late coma. There's this app that lets you buy non-refundable vacations from people who like can't go on them anymore. I'm sure there's the same thing for wedding venues that people have put deposits down on and then like can't use anymore. Like I guarantee there's a way to recoup some of the 150K you can sell it to someone at a discount whatever. But whatever the financial loss is that you take from walking away from the wedding. If he does have still a weird reaction when you bring it up again is going to be so much less than the amount of money and emotion and energy that you're going to have to put in to divorce this man without a prenup down the road. Because if you're fighting about money now before you're married I guarantee you're going to keep fighting about it when you're married and it's just always going to be a weird source object. But also just weigh your options like you could marry him without a prenup so you don't have to walk away from the deposit. But then you're like probably going to get divorced and that's going to be so much more expensive than if you just like walked away from the 150K wedding deposit. It's going to suck it's going to be a little bit like maybe you're going to have shame about it but I actually think it's sort of chic to be like I had a broken engagement. I have a friend Samantha who had a broken engagement and like I think it's one of the most interesting things about her and now she by the way re-married to an amazing guy who's very financially fit. He was reading the new Ray Dalio book when I saw him out there wedding this summer in Italy so the grass is going to only get greener if you walk away from what's not meant for you which is a rogue loser guys who don't want prenups and towards your beautiful future which is your cool ass promotion. Bun life and like new dating pool of people who are down to like build empire with you instead of trying to stick their grubby paws in your empire and take it for themselves. Dear sugar mama I'm a senior project manager in tech and my income just doubled into the mid six figures okay today's theme is like women in the stem who are getting paid a lot. My boyfriend of two years still coasting what I refuse to live a budget life same so I'm currently running a girlfriend. What so I'm currently running a girlfriend scholarship program paying for our four hundred dollars sushi omikaze VIP Coachella seats and a mom stays. I don't mind being the breadwinner but I mine that he's a total passenger who doesn't even handle the mental load of booking the trips I pay for no when I asked him to step up he called me transactional and said I'm making money a competition. Am I being unfair or am I just subsidized or am I just subsidizing a lifestyle for a guy who's happy to let me coast sincerely reluctant breadwinner okay dear reluctant breadwinner I got why you're reluctant this man has an amazing life like I want to go to the amon with you and he's out here like he can't even book the trip are you kidding no he needs to have like a folio he needs to have like. He needs to have an itinerary even me like I'm single and I go on trips with my girlfriends and I'm always like girl I'll pay for the nicer hotel if you just like book everything and if you just book everything and plan the itinerary and it's like done deal because relationships should be reciprocal not transactional and I think in general we need to rethink this idea that relationships like the financial split should be 50 50 because there is always someone who's making more money it's like so rare for a couple to make these. The exact same amount of money but so I think that things should be split reciprocally not transactionally if your income split with this guy is 80 20 then like his efforts need to reflect that if he's putting 20% of the money into support the lifestyle he needs to be putting in 80% of the energy to be like creating the lifestyle when I best friends Joanne is like the biggest grow boss like literally I should have her on the show she's iconic makes a ton of money. And so she retired her husband because she was like why are you working like I'm good like take care of the kids go do Taekwondo like love you but just make sure the house is taken care of and so that woman I don't think she has put gas in her car in 30 years she has not been to a grocery store. She doesn't see a bill like he is in charge of the household and gives so much back to her in that way and they have an amazing equal relationship because they have balance like she's bringing home the bacon but he's also bringing home the bacon in different ways doing things that she wouldn't want to do but also like really earning his keep. And I think that's how it should work I don't think that they I don't think that you need to split money 50 50 I think that you can split things proportionally to how much you're earning so I think that you need to either talk to him and restructure things or you need to leave him like and let's not forget like he's your boyfriend he's on even your husband this man is living a good ass life like he's got it figured out if he can't like add a little bit to the relationship with his efforts you got to kick him to the curve. Being single is so much better than being with these dad beat men like I don't know why people stay in these relationships with these guys who just sound like absolute drains you're going to feel so much happier if you just release him and you don't have this resentment anymore I mean of course given the chance to change but if he won't you got to keep going girl your life is too good to let him drag you down. And just a reminder if you want to submit a question for dear sugar mama email T at Mrs Dow Jones dot com that's T at Mrs Dow Jones dot com with your submission these are always anonymous and always super juicy. Okay now we're going to do a little portfolio audit i'm going to open the books on the crazy DMs that I've gotten from you about money and relationships. Here's one brags about his income but needs an immediate Venmo for a $14 cocktail i'm going to call it he's insolvent if you need to invoice for a margarita when you've invited someone there for a margarita you aren't rich tips like it's 2004. Sheep is tough i'm going to say walk away from not to has 30k in a checking account and thinks it's a flex i'm going to say it he's an inflation risk that money is losing value and so is he X husband who won't set the kids up for success despite having the funds damn zero ROI glad that he's your X has been hoarding wealth at the expense of his own legacy that is some fucked up shit part of my French won't take me on dates because it's expensive but orders Uber eats every night. Damn that is that would be that would be so greeting to me like I would be so annoyed at him that is the most passive aggressive man in the world i'm going to have to say like walk away as well and we get somewhere like the guy's not so bad okay i will say a lot of the theme of this episode is some cost policy which is like when you feel like you're too deep in something to walk away but like you can always restart your life i just want to remind you that like pure interrelationship with someone who is. disrespecting you financially and you're not down with how they treat money, you can leave. Like, it doesn't matter if you've been there for eight years, it doesn't matter if you have a kid with him. It doesn't matter if like you, if you put a deposit down on a late coma wedding. Like, if it ain't right, you gotta go. And that's why having your own money is so important because that gives you the power to walk away. I promise it's easier to restart than to try and make it work with someone who's not right for you. I do have to run though. Tell me if this is crazy. I guess this is my own submission to do your sugar momma, but this man sent me a DM with a screenshot of his $13 million investment portfolio. And this is like a super family. He's always being so positive on my posts, which like we love to see. And he's like, I really want to take you out. I'm going to fly in. I want to take you to dinner, blah, blah, blah. And so I was like, fuck it, you know, 2026, let's say yes. And I know that it's us that he sent me that screenshot and I actually found out something else us about him, which is that he is in a lawsuit for giving bad investment advice. But I'm sort of just like going on the date anyways to see what happens. Maybe there's two sides of the story. Maybe it will just be a story for me. But I will report back. So I have to go get ready for that. Even though, you know, I got to blow up for this just for you guys. So I'm sort of ready already. But yeah, see you next Thursday. Don't forget to read and subscribe. Follow for more and stay rich. This is a Mrs. Dow Jones production for Sony Music Podcasts. Imagine setting your makeup. Then forgetting it's even theirs. Meet new groupy setting missed from Mavily New York. Jelly Miss technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours, with flexible all day comfy grip. No tightness, no stickiness, no residue, just plump, dewy, hydrated skin that still feels like your skin. Try new groupy setting missed from Mavily New York. Maybe it's Mavily.