How to avoid the sunday scaries and build the ultimate reset routine

Hey, it's Dave from the Hone of Podcast series. I hope you're doing well. Thanks for checking in on the show. Thanks for pressing play. I want to talk to you a little bit about how we talk to our guests. As a podcaster and maybe something that we do, maybe we're unaware of it, but maybe we should think of a different approach when we're having an interview, and we're trying to have small talk with our guests. Maybe during the show or before we hit record, a small talk, piece of advice from me to you, and maybe to make your next episode better. Glad you're here. So the past almost eight years now, I've done about 2,500 episodes across nine different podcasts. And some of them are interviews, probably half of my episodes are interviews and half are solo episodes. And when I do my episodes where I have guests on my show, I am doing a lot of small talk. I'm hanging out with people and meeting them for the first time. We do pre-interviews, which is nice, breaks the ice. But even on the day of recording, we have small talk before we jump into the recording. And even in the beginning of the episode, it's kind of an introduction to the conversation and building rapport. And I think small talk is something that we don't practice very much. And in real life, it's quite awkward. So one thing I've noticed is, as podcasters, we don't do small talk well. And I've got a couple of ideas for you on maybe on what you can try and put into practice for your next interaction with a new person, whether in person or on a virtual, that could help you to connect better with your guests. Here we go. The big part of connecting with people is to find a common ground, a common bridge between you. I'm a musician, so if I meet another musician, that's an easy conversation. We can get into all kinds of stuff from equipment and gear, to favorite artists, to our practices of how we do music, how we learn the music, our history and music. There's a ton of things that we can go down. Once I know that you're a fellow musician, well, it's on. We got lots to talk about. So that's an easy one for me. I've been talked to than another dad, no matter what stage of life you're at. As a dad, that's why I have dad's space podcast. If you ride dirt bikes, I could talk to you about all my family adventures doing dirt bike days and how much fun that is to ride through the forest. How I really love doing that, I love that part. There's a lot of different things that we can talk about together. I think finding that common bridge is one of the first things that we need to investigate. When you meet with somebody, maybe a guest on your show, or you're going to be a guest on a show, to do that research. To try to find a common thread that you could pull on in the conversation, that instantly connects you to that other person. Hard to do in person when you're just meeting a bunch of strangers, but something you can really dig into and try to uncover us. What do the two of us have in common if anything? And that might be something to start with. Go and ask questions of your people you interact with and see if there's any kind of commonality between you and them. And that's going to be a great, great starting point. So find that common bridge and if you don't have a common bridge, it might be time to build one. And part of that comes back to you being one of the more interesting people in the room. A lot of people when they go to live events in person events, virtual events, they're just as awkward as you are. They may seem like they have it all together, but they're just as awkward as you are. And they're figuring out the room in real time, just like you are. And so we commonly think that we're the ones that are wrestling in this public setting to make connections, but really everybody is. We're all trying to find our place in the conversation. We're all trying to make a connection with somebody. So it doesn't feel so awkward. We're standing alone in the corner, looking at our feet, right? We want to try to make that connection. So for you, I would say one thing you can really work on is be more interesting in that have a variety of things that you're interested in. Don't be so one sided. Think about the things that you love. Think about the things that let you up that you would love to talk about. If you love movies, what kind of movies? What era? What genre? What's your favorite actor? What's your favorite movie that your actor has been in? Things like that. What kind of movies do you like? Would you like music? What kind of music? Why do you like that music? There's a lot of different things that we can go down here in different paths. If you like art, what kind of art? If you like books, what kind of books do you like to read? Figure out some of the things that make you interesting. And if it's not a very deep well of things that make you interesting, might be time to pick up a hobby. Podcasting is a good hobby, but what else can you do to be more interesting? That's going to really help you to connect with people as well. So find something that makes you more interesting and lean into that because that's really going to help you. And for me, it would be, well, podcasting is a great opening line to meet anybody. When they find out I'm a podcaster, it's like, oh, tell me about that. So there's a lot of good stuff that just comes from being a podcaster. It helps you to think on your feet. It helps you to take your thing that you love and put it into words for somebody who doesn't understand what you do or why you love it so much. It's a great exercise. So be more interesting. Really, that's the key point. Have things about you that maybe you don't talk about often or that you'd love to expound on. And that could be a great way for you to build a relationship. In person or virtual, just be a more interesting person. I've actually heard this happened on a podcast several times and it's very interesting and a little awkward where the guest might, for example, say, hey, Dave, do you love fishing? And it's like, I'm like, well, no. It is like, oh, okay. Or they'll say, do you love NASCAR? No. Do you love golf? No, I don't golf. And it's like the conversation just stops like a lead balloon. Because we were doing so well until that question came up. Do you like golf? No. Do you golf? No. Do you watch golf? No. Conversations over. And it's a moment in time where somebody's trying to connect with you around a shared, hopefully, a shared thing that you could talk about. But the one thing you could do, even if you don't relate to the topic, is what's something around the topic that you both have in common? So if somebody said to me, Dave, do you like golfing? I would probably say, no, I've only golfed like twice ever. But I can many putt. That's fun with the kids. But no, I'm not a golfer. And I probably never will be. But there's other topics around golfing that we would have in common, possibly. Instead of shutting the conversation down, I could do something like, well, now I'm not really a golfer, but I love outdoor sports. What kind of sports do you like? See, now we're talking about sports. Pretty a broader topic outdoor sports. I narrowed down a little bit. But what kind of sports do you like? Well, I like golfing out of camping. I love this. I love baseball. And now that opens the door to potentially one of those other outdoor sports being something a little more connective for me and the person I'm speaking with instead of shutting them down. And just give them cold shoulder or short answer of no, I can work a little harder. And when we have our small talk with podcast guests or a guest on a show and a topic comes up that's not really something you're interested in or have knowledge about or any of that in the moment. Try to come up with something that's related to the question. You can be honest and say, no, I've never golfed before. But I really love adventure camping where I love spending time outside my favorite places the beach. See, like we're still keeping the conversation going, we're just kind of going in a new direction that's kind of related to the original question, but it's not exactly what was asked me in the moment. So think about it. Be more creative when you're asked a question or a topic arises around you, maybe had a live event. And it doesn't really relate to you instead of saying no and awkwardly walking away from the conversation in real time. That's weird. Instead why not connect with people around the topic and think a little harder and go a little bit different direction, maybe, but use that initial question to spark that conversation. I think when people reach out to us in a genuine way they're really trying to build a bridge with us. And if you just shut them down with a harsh no, because you don't do the thing they've asked you about or you're not interested in that, that maybe there's a different approach that we can take. And by doing that, it keeps that door open. Your job as a podcaster is to keep the door open as long as possible. Don't shut it down. That's why we avoid yes-no-questions. We want that door to stay open, so prop it open, put something heavy against the door so it can't shut, and keep that conversation moving. Even if it goes in a different direction, that's not exactly what was intended when the question was originally asked of you. Smalltalk is great. It helps to build bridges. It helps to build familiarity with you and the person you're talking to. It also opens the door for deeper conversation. And instead of just jumping into your next conversation and right into the deep end, smalltalk might be the right thing for your podcast. So how do I do this in my show? Well, smalltalk is a big part of what I do. I always do a pre-interview with my guests, which opens the door for us to have some talking points that we can share and work on and develop in the interview. So I do that. And I have time between my pre-interview and my recording. Sometimes a week, sometimes a month. And that gives me some time to do some prep. So I want to watch my guest on videos where they're interviewed. I'm going to go on their website. I'm going to spend some time with them and learn about them. I'm going to be on their Instagram and find out they have a dog and they walk their dog every day. Well, there's a dog owner. So we have that in common. I'm going to go and try to find as many commonalities that between my life and their life as possible. They're a dad. I'm a dad. They're a musician. I'm a musician. They love Coca-Cola. I collect Coca-Cola. We got that in common, right? They play this kind of guitar. I have that exact same guitar. All of these things are great things that bring people in. And you can tell when people just open up when you do your homework and you know things about them, that it sparks a light in their eyes. And the conversation you will have with them is different because you care. A lot of people get interviewed by people who don't care. A lot of podcasters don't put the time in to develop and grow and build a conversation. And they don't do their homework. It's kind of the, hey, welcome to the show. Tell everybody about yourself because I don't know who you are. That's lazy. We need to do more as podcasters and show up better so that our guests feel welcomed. Our audience feels connected and the conversation feels real. All of this can happen by simply just doing their homework. So my challenge for you is to develop your small talk abilities. What can you do to create an atmosphere where people feel engaged with you? There's great conversations. And the the opportunity is there. The door is propped open. Won't slam shut on people. And even if the conversation is not exactly what you're into, you're going to find something that you can leverage that complements the question. It says shutting it down. Try it on your next one. Try it in your next virtual event. Try it with your partner with your kids. When that moment comes and the topic comes up and you're not interested in or you don't have any input into what they've asked. Think about what you can do with that question to keep it going. Don't shut it down with a no. Keep it going. Come up with your own version. And see the conversation grow. I love to hear your small talk tips as well, how to podcast.ca. And you can leave me a voice message. I'd love to hear what you have to say and what you do for small talk. And how you develop that in real life. Let me know how to podcast.ca. Leave me a speak pipe message around the website and tell me about your show as well. You get up to five minutes of recording time. So go for it. Tell me your best small talk tips. I love it here. How to podcast.ca. Thanks for being here. Thank you so much for listening to the entirety of the episode, including this part. You know what? A lot of people leave right now. So we'll let them leave. Give them a second to go. Okay. Now it's just you and me. We have our meetups that we do for the how to podcast series. We do them during the week. And we also do them on Saturdays. So twice a week you have the opportunity to meet other podcasters just like you. Some people just started. Some people haven't even released an episode yet. Some have been doing it forever. And we get together and talk podcasting. We want to help you in community. To continue with your show. To start your show. To grow your show. To come and meet listeners of this show in one space on meetup.com. Again, through how to podcast.ca. You'll see the links. It's completely free to join. Come whenever you have an opportunity to come. There's no commitment. You don't have to sign any waivers. You can just come join us. Come join the conversation. We love to have you there because the only thing that's going to make these meetups better is you being there. So I'm hoping you will say yes. And you'll say, Dave, I'm tired of podcasting by myself. I wish there were people like you connect with that are fellow podcasters and share my frustrations with guests who ghost me and my editing software is crappin' out on me. And I'm just having this hard time. I'm just having a hard time coming up with podcasts, episodes and titles and all the things and social media. I'm going to be great to get in a room with other podcasters and share best practices and learn. Three of our four Saturdays every month are themed. So you have a topic but that last Saturday of every month is an open question and answer. Ask anything. Come meet a podcaster. Come enjoy the podcasting community throughout a podcast.ca. Come to our meetups. Can't wait to see you there. You're still here. Excellent. Okay, so I had somebody ask me, Dave, what's your tip for keeping track of your competition? Good one. Well, I have a lot of competition for this show. There's a lot of podcasts about podcasting. Some of them I adore. Some of these shows. Some of them I avoid like the plank. And for many reasons. For me to keep track of my competition, I use a thing called pod P-O-D-S-E-O-P-O-D-S-E-O pod S-E-O. It's a tool. It's free. You can pick two podcasts that you want to keep your eyes and tabs on and you can compare yourself. It doesn't give you everything in the free version but it's enough to get you started. It's enough to give you an idea and you can sign up for email updates as well, which I love. And so go to pod S-E-O and check it out. It's completely free for that introductory version of the platform. The paid version goes into way more detail. So that's always an option for you. But you want to keep track of your competition for a couple of reasons. One, you want to see what they're doing that you're not doing. You want to see what compliments. Maybe this could be an ally for you. Maybe this is someone you'd like to work with. Or is somebody who's just their content is not what you enjoy and you want to do the opposite. So if they talk about this, you're going to do the counter to it for your show. It's a great way to keep track. So pod S-E-O is my tool that I use to keep track of my competition. So yeah, you need to keep track of your competition just like an author would. They're going to be asked when they write a new book, go tell me your comps for your book. They got to know that for this historical fiction book based in 1956, who else is out there writing about 1956? Who are you going to be competing with on the shelf? They need to know. And as podcasters, you need to know too. So I know what people say there's no competition in podcasting, but there is. Because there's only so many hours in the day, you're here. I mean, that means you're not somewhere else right now. So I've won that by you still being here. So thank you. But we do have competition and you need to know what they're doing and you need to keep your eyes and ears open. So you can learn from them. There's a lot of lessons to learn. So keep track of your own stats, your own analytics, your audience. But also, who's out there doing what you do? And as they do, you get better. PodS-E-O will help you. With Check it out, you can always find it at podcastforfree.com. My list of all of the things that you can use in your podcast for free. Podcastforfrfree.com. Go check it out. Thanks for being here.