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How the Rich Buy an Easier Life: A House Manager Reveals All

36m 51s

How the Rich Buy an Easier Life: A House Manager Reveals All

The video explores the behind-the-scenes lives of ultra-wealthy families through the experience of Leah Griffin, a former house manager. She reveals how these households operate with extreme efficiency—managing everything from daily routines to travel via private planes, staff, and curated services. A key insight is that wealth doesn’t equate to happiness if money defines one’s identity; instead, true value comes from intentionality, such as supporting local businesses, giving charity, or creating meaningful experiences. While spending is lavish—on rare wines, high-end products, and luxury services—there’s often no budgeting or cost-cutting, reflecting a lack of financial discipline. Surprisingly, even in opulent homes, stress and friction remain, indicating that ease doesn’t automatically bring peace. What stands out is the deep care and commitment to staff, with many families investing in nannies, dog trainers, and personal care, often prioritizing human relationships over material accumulation. The most impactful spending is purposeful—like buying from small businesses or supporting community—showing that genuine wealth stems from values, not just wealth. The host emphasizes that true financial wisdom lies not in accumulating more, but in spending meaningfully to live a richer, more connected life. This perspective challenges common myths about wealth and offers a model for mindful spending applicable to all income levels.

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I'm trying something new today, because I've always been fascinated by the psychology of spending. And everyone tells you how you should spend less, but nobody ever talks about the skill of spending money meaningfully. So today I'm talking to someone who provides luxury services to some of the wealthiest families, to uncover some of the most jaw-dropping and awe-inspiring things that people spend on and why they do it. Enjoy this special video, and I'll be back with another episode of Money for Couples on Tuesday. What really goes on behind the closed doors of really wealthy people? Wanted to impress a woman. He wanted me to ship the car from Los Angeles to Hawaii in the day. Today I'm talking to Leah Griffin, a former house manager who worked behind the scenes for some of the wealthiest families in America. From nowhere, his helicopter appears. It doesn't even land. It's hovering. He steps onto the landing. It dives in, and just as quickly as it appears, they disappear into the sky. You can almost see it happening in front of your eyes. Wow. What does a house manager get paid? The most I got, the probably like. Leah, can you explain what a house manager does? Your job is to run their life seamlessly in the home. You know, whatever is needed, you may happen. That can also a lot of the time include a staff, so it's almost like you're running a small company in the home. And how long had you been a house manager? Over the span of 15 years, I did it. What is the story that you tell your friends about the job when they're like, "What was that like? What's that one story you tell them?" A billionaire that I was working for. He lived in Malibu and he had a place in Santa Monica that he worked, and he would take a helicopter from Malibu to Santa Monica every single day for work. So we're driving to his helicopter, and we get to the street that we're supposed to turn on. And it's blocked by cops, like all these cops. I don't know what was going on, so he's like, "What the fuck? He gets out of the car. He's trying to like sweet talk them, like, "Hey, let me through, you know what?" And it's not happening. So he gets back in my car, he's on the phone, I feel like a minute, he's like, "Go, go up and hang right over there at that street." And I pull off to the side of Mohonde. There's like a cliff area, and from nowhere his helicopter appears in the sky. I kid you not, Rami, it doesn't even land. It's hovering, okay? It's hovering. If you've been near a helicopter, the force of wind is extreme. So I'm my hair, you know, flying. I've got his morning smoothie. It does not land. He steps onto the landing, it throws his briefcase into the helicopter. Dives in, and just as quickly as it appears, they disappear into the sky. And I'm left standing there. I'm like, "Do you want your smoothie?" The entire remainder of that week, when he had gas sober, some of whom were like celebrities. Lea, Lea, Tom will happen with the helicopter. Tell the story of the helicopter. He was so proud. And he, I would tell the story to people. And of course, I'm working for him, so I want to make him look cool, you know. So I'm like, "But truly, I didn't even have to embellish it." Like, that is what happened. It was very James Bond. Wow. That was like insane. Yeah. That's pretty amazing. That's almost like, you can almost see it happening in front of your eyes. Wow. Why does a wealthy family need a house manager? That's a great question. You know, it really varies on the need of the individual and the home. I do believe when you're dealing with such high net worth, like a billionaire status, typically those types of people are really busy. They're running businesses. They're doing a million things at once. So they really need somebody to make sure when they get home, that their home is managed. There's food. They don't have to think. They don't have to think about anything. All the friction is removed in the home. It's like, they know they can come home and everything is as it should be. As an example, what do you mean? Like, I walk in the door as a billionaire. What do I see? You walk in the door as a billionaire. You take off your clothes. They're picked up. They're put away. You go into your kitchen. The food that you've requested is there waiting for you. You go outside. The pool has been cleaned and the things that you requested for your pool. You're having guests over the later that day. You wanted pool toys in your pool. They're there waiting for you. Basically, every request, anything that you've needed has been handled period. There's nothing you have nothing no wants. Wait, this sounds like being a seven-year-old. Like a seven-year-old's like, I want toys in the pool. It's like, okay, mom and dad deliver. Totally. No, literally. No, it is. It takes away. It's a convenience. I mean, it's like you don't have to think about these things, especially if you're running a business and you're a business person or in an industry. Those things are time-consuming and they, you know, you don't want to have to think about these little minute details, even something as small as food or a pool toy. You know, if you're having a pool party, you want to know. If you're having friends over that week and you want to know, it's handled. I don't have to think about it. How many staff did the billionaire have? In just strictly the home, there were about a regular day and to 12 people in the home. Okay. You know, it's funny. I hear a lot of people in America say, which is, I don't want people in my house. I don't like people in my area. I never hear wealthy people, especially ultra-wealthy people say that. What's your experience with that phrase? I don't like people in my space. In the really high net worth homes, there was never not someone there. There was always someone in the home, even in the evenings, whether it was staff, whether it was a living nanny, they were never alone. I just, for me personally, I'm, I'm like, get out of my house, you know, give me my space. But I noticed that they never wanted to be alone. It felt like there was this like need to constantly have people around. Can you walk me through a day as a house manager? What time do you walk in the door and what happens through your entire work day? Coming at 8 a.m., 7 a.m., 8 a.m., check in with the staff, you know, make sure everybody's where they're supposed to be. For this particular individual, I managed two homes. So I also had to make sure the other home was stocked, managed, a lot of guests would stay there. So I had to basically are both these houses and running order. Are the refrigerators stocked? Is everybody doing what they're supposed to be doing? Ordinating, a lot of coordinating contractors, landscapers, chefs, drivers. We're having a party, order caviar. I'm having guests over tonight. I need this type of setup in the house. All the little mundane kind of details that we just kind of do in our day to day, I managed every day. Now, as a house manager, what were your hours when you were working in these homes? It can either be 24/7, which a lot of the time it is, or you can have a set schedule, which would be like 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. And then you have your work phone. And if something emergencies come up, you know, boundaries are really important in these types of jobs. And when you are interviewing, it's very important to make sure you stay. Hey, if you're looking for 24/7, that's not me. And some people are okay with that. You know, I've done both. I don't like the 24/7. Your life is their life. So to me, that didn't work for me. But some people are okay with that. Well, actually, I'm curious about their houses. So the houses that you worked in, what were the houses like different than an ordinary house? The biggest house I worked in probably had, I don't know, 12 bedrooms. The artwork, you know, just phenomenal artwork, just curated, beautiful. Even the homes that weren't necessarily the largest of homes, beautiful details, beautiful rugs, beautiful couches, high-quality product in the home, I would say, was a very common theme. Who's choosing that for them? For example, the soap they use, or the tissues, or whatever. As you get to know your employer, you know, you start to recognize things that they like and don't like. So then it's like, you can take it upon yourself to like, introduce things into their lives. And if they value your opinion and trust you a lot of the time to listen, I remember at one family I worked for Le Lobo. I don't know if everyone remembers Le Lobo with a very popular brand at a specific time. And this like scent from Le Lobo was like it. And it was like Le Lobo. Le Lobo candles. Le Lobo. And it's like a very high-end candle. What would surprise somebody about something very ordinary that these wealthy clients of yours had in their house? For example, everybody uses zip lock bags or Kleenex. What would surprise somebody watching? Every single wealthy household has a completely stocked fridge of every single drink you could possibly imagine. Periers, sodas, diet sodas, every wellness shots. And sometimes I was responsible for that stockage as well. That's one thing. Another thing I would say is which we touched on, there's always someone there. That's just the norm. Always someone in the home, no matter what. Pretty regular in these homes are like IV drip banana bag type things, which are mobile. They come to your home. If you feel like you get a vitamin B shot in the ass or a IV drip, I always thought this was interesting. You know, one of my employers had a standing reservation at Nobu every single night. He went every single night to Nobu for dinner. What does a dinner party look like? for one of these clients. For example, what do they eat? Who's making it? decor? Can you walk me through that? A dinner party will typically be handled. I will hire a party coordinator, like somebody that I worked with, somebody wonderful, actually. And so she would manage all the, it's a lot of outsourcing for me, you know. She would manage all the design and the decor based off of our client and what they wanted. And I would hire chef. The food is incredible. Typically, it's either it's catered by, you know, it's like a private chef situation, depending on the how large the party is. Alcohol is mind-blowing. I would see people drinking wines that were like, you know, my salary. Like no shit. Like, I remember looking up, they were having a party. And I remember having to go get some wine from this massive wine cellar. And I've looked up one of the bottles and it was like 10k, just one of the bottles. And it was just this wall of wine. So I'm looking at hundreds of thousands of dollars with wine. And they're just sipping the wine, you know, I'm sure it was phenomenal. I think what's interesting is the idea that as a house manager, you are outsourcing so much of this. I think people's first tendency would be to think like, oh well, you would be the one planning it. So why are you bringing in an event planner versus you doing it? For this particular situation, the employer would prefer an event planner over me. That would not be considered my area of expertise. So they're going to want the best of the best. Therefore, they're going to rely on me to find the best of the best. It's trusting my judgment in knowing them what they like. And from there, they trust that I can find the correct person for the job. If you're looking for the best of the best, whether it be an event planner, personal trainer, etc. How do you find that person? Word of mouth and recommendation over Google. Very rarely have I hired somebody off of Google. So if I attended a wedding that was phenomenal, I'm going to reach out to the friend who's wedding it was and say, hey, who did your wedding? Do they do parties? Yes, they do. Here you go. And if they don't, can they refer me to somebody who does? What was the craziest request you received from a client? I was working for a billionaire. He was in Hawaii and he wanted to impress a woman. He owned quite an incredible collection of cars. One of them was 1968 Shelby Mustang. And they're probably worth I think about like 500K, something like that he wanted me to ship the car from Los Angeles to Hawaii in a day. So I was on the phone, you know, cargo freight companies trying to figure this out. Here's what I learned. You can't ship a car in a day. It's 48 hours. It cost at the time. And this was a while ago, 80K maybe, but I did manage to figure out a way to do it. And it was so funny. Even calling the companies, these guys were like, are you serious? I'm like, yeah, I don't know what to tell you. It's like, I call him and I'm like, okay, I got it. We can get it there in 48 hours. He's like, forget it. Never mind. Does that happen a lot? Yeah. In that particular household, things like that did happen. Yeah. But there's this myth that wealthy people are really great with money. Now, I know a lot of wealthy people and they're usually pretty good at earning money. But a lot of them are not good at managing it. They just have a lot of it. That is how some ultra wealthy people end up with advisors who charge a percentage of their assets, which ends up being massive amounts of fees. And they don't even know it. Paying a percentage of your portfolio for money help in my opinion is the absolute wrong thing to do. If you want quality money help without the fees, that's where the sponsor of this video, facet can help. 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And for my audience, facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/remet to learn about which membership option is best for you. All right now, back to it. The most I got back then, and this was mind you years ago, was probably like 80K a year, I know, plus benefits, but this was a while ago. And now the range is 150 to 200K. When you ran these households, did you have a budget? No, I never had a budget. No, I had typically in the home, I would be given a credit card and entrusted with that credit card to use it at my discretion. Now, you mentioned some of your clients had multiple properties and maintaining it, you know, between one property or another. What was it like if they decided to go from their first house to their second house? What did you have to do to get that second house ready for them? So whether it was them or guests, because also mind you, there were times where maybe I would be told, hey, someone's I was coming to stay in our Malibu house. There would be a book typically connected to the home. And it's almost like a scope of work. And it has all the information you need about the house. And over time, as house manager switch, you add to it, you take away depending on the home. Does the refrigerator have everything stocked? Is everything in working order? Is the pool heater on? Are the cameras turned off? So for privacy, literally every possible thing, if you're going into a on a vacation and you're going to a home, it's like picture in your mind, it's like, what do you want to have at that home, taking care of? That is my that is your job, that is my job. And when you're working for a specific individual, as you get to know them better, you know, they're specific, you know what they like, you know what they don't like. So you want to make sure that when they get there, they ask for nothing. You f**ked up. If they're like, hey, where's my, you know, you made a mistake. You f**ked up. You should be 10 steps ahead. I want to talk about kids. What is different about these households in relation to their children versus anybody that you might meet? Let's say every day American. 100% of the time, there's a nanny involved. A lot of the time there's a livin nanny involved. So there will be a livin nanny on during the week and then on the weekend, they will be relieved by the weekend livin nanny. Sometimes it's really necessary, honestly, is what I've noticed in these homes. You've got, let's say you've got three kids and a lot of these families, one of the families had three children. One's got basketball here, soccer there, and other ones got volleyball. It's like you actually, and there have been situations where there was like two nannies because we needed one nanny to take this kid here and the other one there, but it's like everybody's kind of working together, including the parents. It's not like the parents are like, oh, hands off. You're going to raise my kid. I would say that there has, I've never been in a high net worth house where there hasn't been a nanny. That's very interesting. It kind of reminds me of the celebrity profiles you see, and they're like, you know, how do you stay so fit? And then one of the celebs will be like, oh, I just, I love to walk. I just go for a walk every morning with some lemon water. Like that's not what you do. Tell the truth. You have a personal trainer and nutritionist chef. It's okay. You're wealthy. It's fine. But also I've learned that the public, we don't want the truth because especially with child care, if you talk about I have a nanny or two nannies or a weekend, it's like big, the ultimate taboo in America. Did you find that to be the same in your job? I did. You know, people are really judgy and they're quick to, oh, you're not raising your kids if you have nannies. And it's actually, I found that to be when you're in the home and you're in such an intimate setting like that, it's one more person to love your kid. And one more person for you to love. I saw it way more as like a family unit, especially with a nanny. It's like they're taking care of your offspring. This is a huge responsibility. And so I always saw the positives of it. Hold on, hold on. How, what type of dogs do wealthy people like? I'm going to go out on a limb. Big dogs. Yes. Big. Yeah. Dogs. Huge dogs. Some, one of the homes had six humongous dogs like. Wow. And I was responsible for those dogs. And I would have to like stay overnight. I'm assuming they have dog walkers, dog trainers. Yes. Dog trainers, dog walkers. I would hire a lot of the time. I would be the one hiring those people. Yeah. Okay. Got it. How much did you pay a dog trainer dog walker out of curiosity? Typically in these types of situations, I will interview three. I'll get three quotes. That's my thing. I'm like, okay, I need three quotes. Something interesting that I I always found interesting. Like a normal person, you're like, Okay, three quotes. Why is this one so high? Why is this one so low? What's the difference here? Leaning towards middle, leaning towards low. In a high net worth home, it's almost like the higher the cost, the more likely they are to be chosen is what I discovered. And why is that? I would guess it's probably because they're thinking this is the best of the best and that's why they cost the most. That wasn't always the case. I noticed a lot of time when a vendor would show up at the house, you can almost like see the price changing. If they're pulling up to a high net worth home and they're taken in this mansion, I swear to God, it's like you could see it. So I was really, you know, I had to be really mindful of that. And I'm very, very, very diplomatic. So I don't want people to be taken advantage of despite what their situation is. So it was on me to really, you know, determine, hey, is this person like worth this? I didn't hire a dog trainer for that reason. I, he was very well respected, but I felt based off of what I knew of dog trainers, the quote he gave me was so, it was offensive at the time. And I was just like, you remember what it was? And I think he quoted me three separate quotes. And I think it was like something observed, or meet like a thousand dollars an hour or something to work with this dog. And it was just like, what the? There's a high net worth price. And then there's just fantasy price. I think I can get it. Yeah. Okay. Let's talk about traveling. So how do these families travel? So a lot will travel private, which is interesting as well because typically when they travel private, it's either with their own plane or a private plane that they're using. They usually will have, for one particular individual, if they did have a private plane and they had somebody who managed that plane. So when they were going to travel, their plane person, I don't know what the job title would be for that. Made sure it that had stocked with all the food that they requested, everything they needed for their plane. Everything was ready to go. The heated blankets. And they would fly out of like, you know, Van Aes airport. I think it was. And then it's first class. I've never booked a coach ticket for a high net worth individual ever actually in my entire experience. It was always, you know, if they're flying on a plane, it was first class. And I did the packing as well. So they didn't have to, you know, it's so interesting too. So I would like do the packing. All the travels handled, right? Down to like, they just got a fun, even there's even a handler at the airport. That's going to take them to where they need to go if they're on a plane. There's still so much stress around travel. There was always so much stress around travel still. No matter what, even with the like, you would think it's like seamless, right? Private plane, handler, first class. We're packed. You're ready to go. You don't have to think about anything. It's still there was always this like frenzy, no matter what. It kind of reminds me how I always say people, the way people feel about money is highly uncorrelated to the amount in their bank account. The way they feel about traveling, even if effectively, everything is handled. It's this story that we often tell us, oh, travel's going to be crazy. You literally are not picking up a bag. Somebody's carrying your bag. They're putting it in the car. It's packed for you. It's put in the car for it's taken out of the car for you don't even pick up the handle. And yet, it can feel stressful because that's what we think travel is supposed to be like. That's interesting. When we think about your clients, what did they spend on that surprised you? What were they surprisingly cheap about? The things that were spent on that surprised me, which I kind of mentioned previously, alcohol was always very interesting to me. The amount that was spent on alcohol, I just, it was a difficult concept. To be completely real, I didn't notice a cheapness. There wasn't a cheapness. That wasn't something that would come up in the homes that I worked in. I was never like, wow, you're really not going to spend on that, but you're going to spend on this. Tell me more about that. That's actually so interesting. And I think what you're sharing with, you didn't ever discover your clients being cheap. That's so interesting because sometimes there actually are not trade-offs. If they're generous in one area, they're generous for everything. They have nice soap. They have nice towels. They fly first class. It's all nice. Otherwise, they probably wouldn't be hiring you. Was that your experience? Everything was quality. I didn't feel that there was a sense of cheapness. I just never got that. And then on the more higher end homes, and this is, I don't want to be judgmental because it's like everybody spends their money differently, and they're entitled to. A lot of though that spending felt almost, it was disconnected from intentionality. It was more about how much can I spend? That's the best way I can put it. It was like, there was no intentionality. It was just like, I'm going to spend as much as I can possibly spend the finest of this and the finest of that, but no cheapness. So there are no cheapness in your clients, but there's a difference between intentionality and just pure opulence for the sake of it. You know, it's interesting. The family that I worked for that made the least out of all of these families took care of me the best, which was interesting. I wasn't as well compensated in the highest net worth home that I worked in as I was in the lower net worth home that I worked in, so perhaps that could, yeah, which was interesting. That is interesting. So they might spend the high, high, highest end person might spend more on a picture frame than they might spend on your annual salary. Or on alcohol than on my annual salary, yes. Right. Whereas the lower earner, but still very higher earner, took very good care of their employees is what I noticed. It's quite interesting. There was a gratitude there as well. Yeah. I mean, I can't think of a better thing to spend money on than great people. People you love, people you respect, especially people who are going to be in your house. You want them to be the best. I've found that it's so interesting. I've found people that we pay a lot of money to. And in my experience, of course, they're great at their job. That's sort of table stakes. But what I found is that they actually love their job so much that sometimes they'll just be checking in even on their off days. Hey, how did it go yesterday? They're genuinely invested. They really want to know. They really want to perform well, even if it's on a Saturday. Or even if they're on vacation, they might be checking in. And sometimes I'm like, we're good. You said everything up great. But I love that. I love that. That they really want to be amazing at their job. I agree. I think that's really true. And I also think, you know, like you said, this is somebody they're in your home. They're seeing everything. It's so personal. You want to be able to trust this person for all of your clients at the totality of them when you look at them. Were they easy to work with? How would you describe them as employers? Yeah. Like I got it varies family to family, you know? No, they're not all easy to work with. Absolutely not. But some are an absolute delight. And I, to this day, maintain relationships with. What's the difference between the good ones, the good employers or clients, and then not so good ones? I feel like the not good employers almost had their money defining them. It was like, that was their identity. Ah, this is how much money I have. The good employers, money, it was a great thing to have. And it bought them some peace of mind in a lot of areas, whether that was childcare or cooking or whatever it was that they used to help make their life more convenient. But it didn't define who they were as an individual. It didn't define their values. And so that was like probably the biggest difference to me. What did you believe about wealth before you started this job that you changed your mind about after working with these ultra wealthy clients? I think there's like a common, I've never felt this, but I think there's a very common belief that wealth, more money, you're happier. Everything's easier. Life is easier. I don't find that to be true. I think money can bring ease and reduce friction in your life and help in many ways. But if you are, using that as your value system, if that's what you meant to fulfill you as just the money, I didn't see happiness that way when it was used that way. Where I saw happiness and money and true happiness and warmth and joy, even when it was being used to whether it's nannies or whatever was the intentionality behind the spending. So your value system, it comes down to the the human really too. It's like, what is your value system? If all your value is money, then that's going to be evident. If you're using money to identify yourself, it's going to be evident. What was an example of intentionality that you saw certain families using money for? One of the best families I ever worked for. I loved this. They shopped at like a mom and pop shops. They supported local businesses. I always loved that. They refused to like no Amazon. It was always helping keep the community running. They also gave a lot of charity. Yeah, even the things in the home that were purchased were you could just tell it was like, you know, not just like, oh, I'll take that and that because that looks expensive and that look, it was like there was thought that went into the rug, that was the new rug that was on the floor or the new piece of art that hung over the fireplace. I love that when my wife and I went to Japan recently, but one of my favorite memories of that trip, this was in Kyoto, was after the tour, we're just like wandering around, just the two of us and we saw this ceramic shop we walk in and there's this older man, he speaks no English. We're using our translator with him and we love the designs. We tell him, this is so beautifully, he says, I make all of this and we're like, where? He goes, it's in the back. And so I was like, can we see it? And he's kind of embarrassed. He goes, okay, but you'll have to excuse me. I also live back there. I said, wow, totally okay, if not, but otherwise we'd love to see it. He takes us back, we pass his tiny, tiny living area and we walk into the back where there's the kiln, he's firing all this stuff. And we realize every single thing in the store's handmade, he makes it himself, he comes up with the design and this stuff was moderately priced. But seeing him talk about it, he had a little booklet of all the things he'd made. He told us about his family. We bought so much stuff there and we use it. It's all over our apartment and we remember it and we remember both of the people in that store. It's like that made us so happy. So hearing a lot of what you experience with what we do with our money, it's like, that's joy. To be able to spend and remember these things that are meaningful to you. - Yeah, yeah. - Why do these families hire you? Like what are they really paying for when they hire a house manager? - Piece of mind. I'm like, my friends would call me, we would joke, it's like a security blanket. For me personally, this is like what my whole goal was when I was going to, it's like, I want them to know I'm gonna get it done. What are the red flags for you that would have made you turn down a job offer as a house manager? - Regidity and an interview to me, like severe rigidity I'll say. I was once up for a job where I was told not to or perfume or makeup. Perfume I kind of get because people are sensitive and have allergies, but makeup, I'm like, ooh, you know, that just didn't sit right with me. Also for me personally, it's like boundaries, you know, I do, I have a big family, family is important. So I have to, if it's a 24/7 job, you have to like, if they're like, oh, if you're given a work phone, this is like a prime example. When I had a work phone, I was a bit, I had to be available. It's like, just know they're gonna, they're gonna call that work phone. - What was your weirdest day on the job? - Oh, that was so weird. Okay, when I was hired for the billionaire, it was my first day, I get to his house. This massive mansion in Malibu, you know, it's bustling already, I'm led to his office, this beautiful office, this is my workstation, this is where I'm gonna work. I sit down at the desk and on the desk is a sheet of paper that had it referenced, I can't, I'm not gonna say specifically what it was, I don't know if it was a bank state, I don't know, it referenced a billion dollars and him, basically that he was connected to a billion dollars. I thought it was so weird, I'm like, is this for me? Like, why is this here, sitting here? Come to find out later, and this is all my speculation, but there were cameras planted in the entire house and he watched them regularly, which is something I also found out. Like, it was a thing he did, he watched, and it was probably, you know, lack of trust, understandably, I always felt like I was being watched and that was put there to see like how I would react to that amount of money and like. - What do you think you wanted to see? - If I had to guess, like, wow, holy shit, a billion dollars, that would be my guess. - Right, oh my God. - Oh my God, I can't believe it. - Yeah, I can't believe it. 'Cause it was like very evident, you know, yeah, it was bizarre. And I just, and it was interesting. It was interesting, it always stayed with me. - Okay, what changed from the beginning to the end? - Beginning was way more low maintenance. I started on a lower spectrum of wealth and as I became more experienced, they're putting me in higher network homes. The more I can manage, the more higher network, I would move up almost the latter. - I love it, Leah. Thank you so much for walking us through what it's like to be a house manager. - Yeah. - I just appreciate you taking us behind the scenes especially with the wealthy and ultra-wealthy families that you worked with. And that shows up everywhere. It's walking in my house. I know that it's gonna be clean. Walking in the kitchen, I know that there's gonna be no dirty dishes. Someone, there's some SOP somewhere that some person is going to have handled it. If my kid is supposed to be doing homework and I had to be somewhere else, somebody is sitting down with them and helping them with their homework. There's a million different life decisions on a daily basis. - A million and it varies family to family. And your job as a house manager is to, hey, familiarize yourself with their needs and you wanna know what they need before they even know they need it. That's what a good house manager is like. - It kind of gives us a really cool picture of what people choose to spend their money on. - Yeah. - I agree. - Thank you, Leah, I really appreciate it. - Thank you, that was fun. - The reason that I share these examples of wealthy people and what they do with their money is that if you're following my advice years from now, you're gonna have more money than you ever thought possible. I don't want you to fall into the trap of just constantly seeking to accumulate more. What a waste of a life. I want you to practice the skill of spending money meaningfully so that as you accumulate more, you get better and better. More generous, more dialed in, more adventurous, all of the above. Now, if you wanna see more behind the scenes looks at how the ultra wealthy actually spend their money on their house, on travel, on childcare, on all kinds of stuff, leave a comment below, tell me what you want to see next.

Podcast Summary

Key Points:

  1. Wealthy families hire house managers to ensure seamless daily operations, removing friction so owners can focus on business and personal life.
  2. House managers oversee everything from food and pool toys to travel logistics and staffing, often managing multiple properties with precise coordination.
  3. Ultra-wealthy individuals spend lavishly on luxuries like private planes, rare wines, and high-end services, but often lack financial intentionality—spending for opulence rather than purpose.
  4. A key difference between good and bad wealth is whether money defines identity; the best spenders use wealth to support values like community, care, and meaningful experiences.
  5. Surprisingly, many wealthy homes are stocked with everything—refrigerators full of drinks, IV drips, and premium products—showing a deep commitment to convenience and well-being.
  6. Clients often hire top-tier professionals (e.g., chefs, trainers, dog walkers) not just for skill but for reputation, with higher prices sometimes reflecting prestige over cost-efficiency.
  7. House managers report that even with extreme luxury, emotional stress persists in travel and daily life, revealing that ease doesn’t equal peace of mind.
  8. The most meaningful spending is intentional—like supporting local businesses or giving charity—showing that true wealth is measured by values, not just assets.

Summary:

The video explores the behind-the-scenes lives of ultra-wealthy families through the experience of Leah Griffin, a former house manager. She reveals how these households operate with extreme efficiency—managing everything from daily routines to travel via private planes, staff, and curated services. A key insight is that wealth doesn’t equate to happiness if money defines one’s identity; instead, true value comes from intentionality, such as supporting local businesses, giving charity, or creating meaningful experiences.

While spending is lavish—on rare wines, high-end products, and luxury services—there’s often no budgeting or cost-cutting, reflecting a lack of financial discipline. Surprisingly, even in opulent homes, stress and friction remain, indicating that ease doesn’t automatically bring peace. What stands out is the deep care and commitment to staff, with many families investing in nannies, dog trainers, and personal care, often prioritizing human relationships over material accumulation.

The most impactful spending is purposeful—like buying from small businesses or supporting community—showing that genuine wealth stems from values, not just wealth. The host emphasizes that true financial wisdom lies not in accumulating more, but in spending meaningfully to live a richer, more connected life. This perspective challenges common myths about wealth and offers a model for mindful spending applicable to all income levels.

FAQs

A house manager runs the daily operations of a home, ensuring everything from food and cleaning to events and travel is seamlessly handled. They coordinate staff, manage schedules, and handle requests so the homeowner can focus on their business or personal life.

A house manager typically starts early, checks in with staff, ensures both homes are stocked and ready, coordinates with contractors, chefs, and event planners, and manages logistics for guests or travel. Their day involves constant coordination and attention to detail.

Yes, some wealthy families hire 24/7 house managers, but many prefer a set schedule. The manager may be required to be available at all times for emergencies, but a 24/7 role is not always preferred due to personal boundaries and lifestyle needs.

Wealthy households are not typically 'cheap'—they spend generously on quality, such as fine wines, luxury items, and personal care. What stood out was the lack of intentionality in spending, often driven by opulence rather than values or purpose.

Dinner parties are often highly curated, with private chefs, expert event planners, and premium wines. Alcohol can be extremely expensive, with bottles costing tens of thousands of dollars, and decor and service are top-tier.

They hire a house manager to provide 'piece of mind'—to remove daily friction so they can focus on their priorities. The manager handles logistics, ensuring comfort, consistency, and reliability in daily life.

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