How Over Curating Your Content Is Killing Your Visibility (Especially If You Don’t Fit the Celebrity Coach Mold)

How do you get the visibility that you feel like you deserve when you don't fit the online celebrity coach aesthetic? We are ending the era of the curated celebrity girl boss perfectionism and the online social media marketing space had a really good run Like a really good run where if you think about the people that we admired they were very much picture perfect Beautifully curated Instagram news feeds beautifully polished with the light room face tuned Beautifully curated celebrity images and I think that it had its run. You know it worked for a while But where we're at right now when it comes to social media digital marketing If you are a coach service provider Practitioners somebody who is selling V2C you are selling your intellectual property people are hiring you because of your point of view your perspective your area of expertise Because they feel a personal connection to you the thing they want More of is more human connection not curated perfection What I have noticed if you do struggle with feeling like you have the visibility that you wish you wanted Was that you're trying to deserve attention through performance and through perfection Instead of allowing connection through your actual presence If you're watching this on YouTube right now. I am literally sitting on my living room floor recording this on my iPhone At the end of a long workday This is just the reality of where I'm at right now And I think that we need more of this our audiences and our consumers are wanting more real authenticness and it's Versus like craving your perfection or craving your intellect like yes Your audience wants to learn from you But they want to connect with you first when I think about this larger concept of what's Preventing those of us from having the visibility that we want especially when we don't feel like we fit that celebrity Perfect aesthetic is that we are not allowing ourselves to be seen like we are not allowing ourselves just to be Who we are where we are and just meeting our audience in that moment And I'm going to break that down a little bit later on here Why that is how to kind of overcome that what we can do about that But I just want to name it like most of us are not invisible because you're unqualified You are invisible because you're over curated you are trying to meet this image of perfection Aspire to this level of performance that you think you have to have in order to have the audience to make the money But I don't think that's the reality like that's not been my personal experience in growing business And I think that we're also seeing a shift in the larger landscape of social media and digital marketing Where the more uncurated content is performing better the raw off the cuff you recording while you're in your car The unfiltered the unpolished that is performing better people are resonating with it deeper and they are buying from it quicker Yes, there needs to be a level of trust and respect that is established But allow that trust is built through these human connection touchpoints And this being bred and infused into your overall marketing You can't want to have more visibility if you're not allowing yourself to be seen Why and what is preventing you from allowing yourself to be seen online The audience that you have is shaped by what you've been willing to show What versions of you you've been willing to allow others to see I'm going to say that again the audience you have right now is shaped by what you've been willing to show So if you feel as if you have this disconnect with your audience they never really engage They're very quiet and don't respond you're not really getting DM conversations They never reply to your emails. Maybe you have open rates that have started to decline I want you to ask yourself when did you stop allowing yourself to be seen What guards and walls of perfection or performance have you put up When did you start doing that and around that time did you also start to notice a lack of growth in In that engagement in the quality of those conversations in your visibility in your reach Or maybe you've never started Maybe you've been able to rely on referrals rely on purely your intellect And the relationships you have with others to get you to this stage of business which is great But now you're like how do I grow beyond this plateau? I've been kind of plateaued here How do I build beyond that building beyond that requires you to be willing to show up Be seen and show your face and share your perspective and do that work How can you say you want more visibility but you have not allowed yourself to be seen And what I mean by being seen is that we need to stop curating and focus on connection And you do this a couple of different ways through storytelling Through showing your face on your feed in your stories on YouTube on whatever your platform of choice is Sharing your actual voice many of us have started overly relying on chat gpt and ai to write for us Because we're trying to say the right thing versus saying what we actually feel no one believe We're trying to get the shortcut to connection You know when you're reading an email or you're reading a caption or you're reading some Carousel and you know when it's been written by ai How does that feel when you're consuming that it is like an immediate turnoff Not only do you disengage with the content you lose respect for the creator You lose trust with the creator when it comes to creating that connection and allowing yourself to be seen Sharing your voice means you knowing what your perspective is you having a point of view And you being willing to articulate it and vocalize it now when it comes to that I want us to also follow that up with this question of what do you need to let go of and order to allow yourself to show up and be seen Because I think a lot of us know what we need to do to be seen But then it's like there is this barrier of How do I allow myself to do that or what is preventing me from doing that and there are some things I think that we need to be willing to let go of in order to Get the visibility that we deserve and all of that one is control ego Managing public perception Trying to avoid criticism or judgment that is the discomfort that you have to be willing to hold in order to become more visible And I think that a lot of us when it comes to especially managing public perception This is something that I have personally So if I've been having to navigate this past year Because I've spent the last eight or nine years or so building a public perception online And curating that perception. I was very much anchored to one program promise Kind of one area of expertise people kind of knew me for one thing And I can just say from personal experience. It is very humbling to come back to start and allow myself to be a beginner again to Lead with a different story I don't want to say I'm like relearning social media But it is and it's not even like a reinvention of self But it is allowing myself to evolve and bringing my audience along with me It is very humbling and I think it's also very scary I noticed so much resistance and a lot of self-protection mechanisms that I was trying to put in place To protect my public image Or to protect the public perception of how others viewed me Based off of how they kind of know me But allowing them to see me try something new for the first time in a very long time Allowing myself to be publicly seen as a beginner again And doing things differently, which is true for me I took a year off. I had a full sabbatical I got divorced. I got remarried. I'm pregnant now I'm about to enter motherhood I totally restructured my business model with motherhood in mind I've gone through a lot of grief. I lost my father. Like a lot happened over the past two years And that meant I had to sit with myself in regards to what am I allowing myself to show And who am I showing up as And one thing that really stuck out to me during this process is that I was trying to protect myself by being only one version of myself online And that's kind of, you know, when we think about this conversation I think especially if you kind of already have a public image And you've kind of already curated that to some degree Or maybe you're brand new and trying to figure out what your public image is supposed to be And you're mimicking all these other people But you're losing yourself in the process of trying to mirror others Is what are you trying to protect yourself from? What I learned personally is that the part that connected the most Is when I was allowing myself to be exposed And I don't mean exposure through the sense of like trauma dumping On every episode or feeling I couldn't have any privacy or a personal way But just pulling back the veil and allowing myself to be seen Holding the discomfort of allowing myself to be seen trying And just being willing to be like I am human I am not supposed to have it all figured out all the time I am evolving, my perspective has evolved, my point of view has evolved My needs of what my business needs to give me and what I want to give it have evolved That means that how I show up on these platforms And how I curate or quote unquote develop connection with my audience I need to allow it to look different That required me to simplify and do less Meaning only focusing in on one platform again at a time which is very much what I did in the early stages of building my business So pick one platform A lot of the I think the celebrity coach aesthetic that we're trying to keep up with Is being everywhere all at once in this polished, perfect, beautiful, curated, image, face tune type of dynamic When if that's not even what you want And that's not even what you buy from, that's not what your audience wants from you Please give yourself permission to do less Like do less and show up better on those platforms That's what the season looked like for me this past year was really only doubling down on one platform And figuring out what are the stories that I want to lead with Who have I now become and how has that becoming a point of connection with my audience As it relates to the type of people that I want to attract more of and cultivate relationships with That ideally I would love to be able to serve and support in my business in the coming months years or what have you And I think the other thing I had to learn is that part of creating connection is accepting Accepting the fact that I cannot be perfect Striving for perfection needs to be something that is totally off the table There any time that I notice that I'm trying to perform or I'm about to perform I need to shut that shit down and that has been a marker for me if perfection or performance is preventing me from showing up I need to radically simplify whatever it is that I'm trying to do So for example me recording today's podcast episode This is no perfection nor performance. I popped up my iPhone on a tripod I hit record on descript I took some notes and my remarkable app and here we are That is it. Many of us get burnt out or start over complicating It's because we're doing one of those two things We're trying to be perfect or we're trying to perform And doing things that are outside of what our normal element is And I'm not saying that you can't have preparation that you can't be prepared But if you notice that perfection and that performance is the thing that is preventing you From doing the thing that you say that you want most which is more visibility Which is cultivating an audience which is allowing yourself to be seen Then you're really trying to control the narrative and control the situation And control is no way to cultivate a real relationship So I think that is something I've really had to learn In this era that many of us have grown up in or have witnessed over the past decade Of this like perfectly curated feed and like this celebrity coach aesthetic Is that we associate it perfection with a form of protection That if we curate and control and put our walls up and be very selective about who we allow in That will keep us safe It's just really important for us to separate that form of trauma protection From what we're trying to develop and establish in our businesses Because perfection will not protect you And it never does because if you really think about it If you've been operating for however long you maybe have been operating under this perfect performance Driven aesthetic I want you to really ask yourself like how safe are you You know how happy are you what is the quality of the clients that you're attracting and working with Is it reflected are you noticing all that perfection and performance actually paying you well And maybe it has gotten you far because like I said the industry used to really I think promote And reward that perfect aesthetic But like is it still working are you still making money are you still working with clients that you actually like Are you building a business that you actually enjoyed? Do you have team members that you actually respect and want to interact with on a day-to-day basis If you're listening to this answer to that is probably no So you know, it's like being perfect and like doing this performative act It's like okay, you're doing it, but at what cost because perfection Does not protect you and even if it gives you like that outward I'm managing my public perception and people think that I'm really successful If you're not happy at the end of the day if you are not satisfied and Enjoyful of the work that you're doing if you do not feel like you're functioning and you're calling that God is placed on your life Maybe it don't matter how many quote-on-quote likes you get on Instagram and quite honestly They probably have decreased because the algorithm I don't even think is really even rewarding that anymore from what I've seen and what I've noticed with clients is like It's not even doing the thing that you think that all that control is going to reward you Perfection will shrink you. It will dim your light. It will silence your voice It will stall and stunt your growth more of us not only need to be Want to like recognize that performance and that perfection as a trauma response But also recognize that it's not actually contributing to helping us bear the fruit that we say we desire It is not allowing us to function and operate an obedience to what we've been called for Like control and perfection and performance is literally like the opposite of faith and surrendering and Being obedient to whatever it is that we're meant to show up and do And I think that's just something we need to be willing to let go of like allow people to see you And allow you to see yourself You know like I think we can get so lost in this aesthetic or in this performance or in this that like You know you look up one day and you look around and it's like what have I built? It's why even this is bringing me joy. Do I even want this anymore? And and when you're at that point where you feel that massive dissonance with The work that you're doing and the performance you're showing up to to do every day And it feels so disconnected from what your purpose is in the season. This is a huge reason why So like the other thing that I think is really important one of my peers mentioned this and I just thought it was so profound They're so truthful that people are looking to connect more than they want to be impressed And that is a statement that will free somebody people are looking to connect more than they want to be impressed And again as we think about this in relation to the coaching industry or the service provider you as a practitioner people are Engaging with you in a close proximity relationship. They're buying your coaching program because they they want help Trying to change something in their life. They're hiring you to provide a service Because they need help and are trying to bring to fruition something they've been called to do I truly do believe that hiring and working with other people is an act of Blessings coming to pass and it's an act of like spiritual alignment Because when I am functioning as a consumer in alignment with what my purpose is and what I felt I'm supposed to show up and doing this world and then another person crosses my path that allows me To help me accelerate that or to help bring that vision to fruition That is a prayer being asked and a blessing coming to pass when we hire each other and work together So when I think about that at even a spiritual level That connection is so vital to that divine moment That connection is so vital to that prayer being answered to that purpose coming to fruition And I don't need to be impressed by you. You know, I want to feel like I can actually relate to you and connect with you So stop trying to win over people through perfection and whatever audience you feel like you maybe even have built Through performance and through perfection. That is the exact audience you need to abandon and let go of It is a okay to recognize that the audience that you have may not be the audience that goes with you on the rest of this journey And we need to let them go and I think that even the concept of if this isn't even like a legit audience Maybe it's not a platform or an account that you need to shut down or recalibrate But maybe it's just like whatever Idea or the story that you are making up in your mind about who it is that you're supposed to be working with If it is also requiring you to get out of character to start hiding shrinking Showing up as somebody that you are not abandon that audience and abandon that concept That's the type of audience you need in order to build the business that you want to build Because there are billions of people on this earth We need to trust and have faith that the ones that are meant for us to serve and support will show up Because if you're listening to this and if you're even like me It's not like you need millions of people in your audience in order to Achieve the goals that you have You know, I work with maybe 30 50 clients a year when I was at the peak of my business I was working with about a hundred clients a year Honey, I have full trust and believe to know that there are a hundred people in this world that will align And with who I am like at my essence Who I am without the performance who I am without my perfection who I am at my human level And I think that's something that more of us need to believe and I invite you into believe and there is enough people in this world to satisfy Whatever your purpose and your calling is and for you to have the accomplishments the goals make the money create the impact that you deeply desire The last thing I want to make sure that we talk about because when I mention this title of how to get the visibility you deserve I want to talk about that word deserve because there is I think when we think about what we deserve. I think a lot of us will initially think about our credentials We'll think about how smart we are We will think about how much we know and what we are capable of doing Which is all valid But when it comes to visibility in the social media digital marketing messaging game You don't get what you deserve. It's really like less about Man, I thought I deserve this versus what is the attention that I'm willing to earn And part of earning attention is really based on how willing you are to be seen for who you are Deservedness is rooted in doing versus earning attention is rooted in who you are being And what version of your human being self you allow others to see publicly online versus how hard you are working and how much you are doing privately behind the scenes through your credentials through your education through how much you are researching and studying and delivering Your audience again wants to learn but they want to relate first So when I think about again this human being versus human doing you are a human being first And that connection Cultivating that connection allowing yourself to be seen showing your face sharing your voice I will keep saying that over and over and over again because many people listening to this you listening to this right now If you were to go look on whatever platform it is that you prioritize when is the last time you fully showed up as yourself And maybe not even fully showed up but just showed up as yourself Where if I were to go to your account right now whatever platform of choice it is I can see your face hear your voice Hear your perspective and point of view. When is the last time you've done that? Not AI Not you delegating something to your team to curate for you When is the last time you've done that? What is your consistency around that? What type of habits do you have around that? And that is the thing the audience that you have is shaped by what you've been willing to show We need to get over this idea that I deserve the visibility You might have put in the work to make you qualified and eligible for the visibility Okay, but that eligibility not the same thing is earned attention We need to stop striving for attention in a sense of getting validated and attention in the sense I want the likes but when I talk about earned I want you to think about it as how am I cultivating these relationships How am I creating these points of connection How am I willing to just show up and allow somebody else to just know who I am Be seen for who I am and that is what earns you attention in this online digital marketing space I really hope this gave you some points of reflection on how to get the visibility you do deserve Because you are eligible for it and really the only requirements Of getting the visibility that you want is letting go of this curated aesthetic that you feel like you need to hold up to or match up with And just learning how to release this control Giving yourself permission to not be perfect and start showing up showing your face sharing your perspective and building a habit around doing that on a regular cadence So I just I appreciate you tuning in I think this is like a precursor conversation because if you're in a point right now where you're rethinking your offers You're thinking about how you're going to reshape your business model. I'll make sure to leave a link in the comments I am relaunching my program leverage which is all about how to create multi-six figures of new revenue in your business Especially after you've plateaued in the next six to 12 months and The program walks you through three core modules on how to position your program Which is all about clarifying your offer your business model your pricing What your business model structure is going to be module two is all about how you actually show up And allowing yourself to be seen through live video Video and live video is one of the fastest ways to create connection online digitally Through our phones is is through video It is the place. It's going to teach you how to do that as it relates to your high ticket offer How to structure your sales conversations and then the third modules all about how to you structure your delivery so that you are reducing customization And positioning whatever your offer is to actually scale and leverage beyond just what you physically can do with your own calendar time So if you want information on that and you're ready to go deeper I'll make sure to leave that in the show notes and in the comments But I really appreciate you tuning in. I'd love to hear your thoughts if you have more So feel free to send me a DM over on Instagram on that jury shahawk And I'll see you in the next episode Let me guess you've scaled your business hit big revenue goals and on paper things look great But behind the scenes it feels heavy You're juggling at all C-E-O-T manager content creator head coach CFO even though spreadsheets make you want to scream And on top of that life's throwing curveballs Navigating big transitions like pyramid applause accidentally becoming the breadwinner Or your kids going through changes that demand you to be more present Somehow it's all on you The quick wins and big months that once felt amazing Now come with skyrocketing expenses, stretch capacity, and more late nights than you cared to admit It doesn't have to stay this way In my private one-on-one coaching, I help multi-six and seven figure business owners like you Streamline their strategy, simplify the way they work, and scale their profit without burning out I've been in your shoes I've scaled multiple business models from courses and group programs to private coaching I've helped over a thousand business owners add six and seven figures to their revenue sustainably And I don't just look at your business I help you lead yourself to your next level They don't call me the millionaire maker for nothing If you're ready to lighten the load and create a business that works for you Join my wait list Let's figure out what your next most aligned move looks like together You can find the link for my private 101 wait list in the show notes.