How One Couple Found Their Calling While Waiting | Stacey Hofman

You think you're going to go and save all these people and I really had to come to terms with that and just recognize that nobody's trying to be anyone's savior. There's one savior and that's Jesus Christ. All we are trying to do is to be His hands and to help His brothers and sisters and to you know lift where we can. Welcome to the Lisa show where we take a good look at life. Hey it's Lisa. When was the last time you were stuck waiting, not waiting like when you show up early to the dentist but they're running 45 minutes behind. Although that is a unique pain because you can't even eat the emergency snack in your bag because then you'll have to brush your teeth again. Anyhow, I'm talking about the bigger waiting. The kind that puts your whole life on hold due to circumstances out of your control and leaves you feeling like you're in limbo. The slow burn waiting where the only thing left you can do because you've tried everything else is just pray. I know a thing or two about that kind of waiting and so does my new friend, Stacy Hoffman, who is also the president of a nonprofit, Ghana, make a difference. Her story includes crossing oceans, following little promptings and turning an unexpected waiting period where she was completely stranded half a world away from the life she had always meant to return to into a miracle that has changed thousands of lives. Now Stacy's very humble and I doubt she would characterize her journey this way. But you're going to hear her explain in a second and I think you'll see what I mean. Stacy didn't set out to change the world but when she ended up with time on her hands and waiting. And no other options left to help her own family. She threw herself into doing what she could for other families. The result is the good news I think you need to hear today. Meet my new friend, Stacy Hoffman. My name's Stacy Hoffman and I am a wife and a mother and a grandmother of nine. I am also the president of Ghana, make a difference, a nonprofit that my husband and I founded in 2012 and that's amazing. That's what I do. Now just for a moment we need to rewind because yes, Stacy founded a nonprofit but that's skipping to the end of the story. Years ago, Stacy and her husband were in the process of adopting their twins who were born in Ghana. So that connection definitely helped us to have an interesting Ghana and want them to know their country and their background. So that was a big part of it but it was also you can't go to Ghana and not fall in love with the people. They just are incredible people. And while Stacy and her husband fell in love with the people, they also saw some things which changed their whole outlook on life. While we were in there, we worked in a couple of children's homes. And the things that we saw, we knew that we wouldn't be able to unsee that those things would stay with us as we returned back home. So many children were surviving on their own. They were finding food in the markets on the ground. There were not safety nets in their country to help children whether they had been abandoned or their parents had died or whatever it was. There were a lot of children trying to find their way on their own. And as a mother, that really tugged at my heart. I really knew that I wanted to become an advocate in some way for these children. And so we were working on our adoption but we had some extra time and so we spent several days in one orphanage in particular. And there was one manny and there were 50 some children. There was just a large dirt hole for their bathroom. They had two meals a day and even those meals were very sparse. And it was just really difficult to see these children living like that. They couldn't go to school and we just knew that there was a before and after and we couldn't go home and continue to live in the way that we were living without making some changes in the way that we spend our time and our resources. It was definitely a moment for us that stands out in our lives. Seeing those needs changed stacey and she knew there had to be something she could do. The idea started with what was just within reach. One day we were sitting outside and noticed these beautiful fabrics hanging on the line. These are all their fabric is just so colorful and bright and beautiful. And I thought we could bring home some fabric and reach out and find quilters, people who would make some quilts and we could sell them and do some projects for this particular home. And so that was really how we first decided to put things into action. And we decided the top priority would be building them a bathroom and getting them some plumbing. And so we decided that that was our first project and we started working on that. And so on our trip home from Ghana, we wrote a letter to our family and friends and just said, this is what we just experienced. And it was incredible and powerful in so many ways. And we're going to do something about some of the things that we saw and we want to invite you to be a part of that if you have any interest. And we really didn't know what kind of a response we would get. And we did get a lot of people that responded and offered to help in a variety of ways. And so we came home and we started meeting together with probably about eight of us, maybe ten of us and just sharing and talking about ways that we could help these children. So that's where we started after a while, really a very short time. My husband and I were back in Ghana working on our adoption and their adoption became final in Ghana. We didn't have our thesis from the US yet. And so we ended up being in Ghana for about ten months. All right, pause. Hold for just a second. This is a detail which I almost didn't catch the first time Stacy told me this story. Ten months of waiting. Can you imagine that for a moment? Your whole life being on hold for almost a year. If I had been away from home with small children and stuck and holding pattern like that with no end in sight, I think I would have lost my mind. But Stacy saw an opportunity. It felt kind of frustrating, but in hindsight, we definitely believe it was God's hand in this story. Because while we were there, we met a lot of people and we talked about the work that we were doing and then somebody knew a chief in the area that had some land and he donated that to us. So all of a sudden, we had this opportunity to build this children's home. So it started with the children's home. And in that ten months, which I think is a record speed for Ghana, we think tend to happen pretty slowly there. But we were able to get the land and build the children's home before we left our last few weeks. We actually stayed in the children's home. So at the time, we just were building the home. We had a small section because we knew that we would want volunteers to be able to come and stay. And it would just be for children who had been abandoned or rescued. We worked with social welfare in Ghana and with the police there, all of the children that are brought to us, are brought by them and have all their paperwork. We just thought, okay, we did it. We built this home. We're going to keep going, but we're kind of done. And then very soon after the government approached us about becoming a shelter for children, specifically who were trafficked on Lake Volta. There's a big problem there where children, as young as three years old, are trafficked to the fishing boats and are made to work every day. and they never have the opportunity to go. go to school and the government would go and do rescues and bring children for us to care for. - Wow. - So anyway, we started down that path and many of these children had never been to school. Some of them were 12, 13, 14 years old when they were rescued. And so our local government school would have these kids that needed to start in kindergarten, right? And it just would not work for that. And so we recognized that we needed to build our own school. And so we built a school. - This is how this snowballs really did. - If you give Stacy a call in life to help children and it starts with a blanket, I see where you're going and then a shelter and then a school. - And what are the main programs that got to make a difference currently runs? - So soon after the school, we had a need for their children with special need are often abandoned. They're viewed as a curse to the family that they're born to. And so they are left in parks or at the beach or forest. And we recognized that we needed to build a separate home for children with special needs that they could receive the care that they need. So now we have our regular home, a school and a separate home for children with special needs. And as I mentioned, we knew that we wanted to advocate for these children and we were able to recognize very quickly that the best place for a child is with a family. And great of a place, an environment that you can create, there's nothing better for a child than in a family. And so we recognized that in order to advocate for children, we really have to advocate for families and strengthen families before the children are removed or before the dad can't find a job and has to, doesn't have a skill to make a living. So our work really became focused on children and families. And we recognized that the two of the main themes that would break families apart in Ghana is a lack of medical care and lack of education. And so with the lack of medical care, we had some children brought to us that had some serious medical needs. And we ended up bringing a couple of surgeons over to provide surgical care for them. And it was amazing. These children were helped, their lives were changed. There were a lot of other people that were helped during that particular mission. And that was about 2015 that we did that. So we were three years in or so. And it was such an amazing experience that we just thought we need to do this regularly. We need to be able to offer the surgical care. And so we built a dental clinic to offer dental services and then I care. So we started doing mission trips with Dennis and with I-teens. And they would do surgical care and optometry, optometric care. And when you say we, you mean Ghana make a difference this nonprofit? Yes, correct. Yes. So at this time, is it still just you and your husband heading it up or are there other people involved? There are so many other people involved. We definitely started with a core group of people. And that's one thing that I really want to emphasize about Ghana make a difference. It has not been built by two people. It's been built by hundreds of people. And so it seems that you're just gathering people along the way based on needs and just saying, let me just show you this and then they want to come along. Exactly. That's really how I view it. I feel like as our needs grew and we started reaching out to people, people would raise their hand and say, well, I can do that. Or I'm a nurse, I'm a doctor. I would love to go for the week. And so we would make all the arrangements in Ghana to have the facilities and find the patients. And one of the things specifically that really inspired the medical missions, we would see so many families with a mother or father that couldn't work because they needed, they were desperate for medical care and unable to afford that care. And so our desire to support families and help them with medical care and education really kind of became the foundation of how we support families. And what we do to keep families thriving so they don't have a need for their children to come to the shelter. With all of the things that you're able to do now and how big that it's grown, how do you measure the impact or how it's going both qualitatively and quantitatively? - It's been exciting all along the way. But what I absolutely love right now is that we see families that we've worked with that are thriving. We see it with our own eyes. - You followed the whole story. - Yes, exactly. So it really is just so beautiful to see their children in school, to see the parents working, to see them work together and take care of each other. And so really that is our greatest measure of success. There are so many stories about families or individual children that have come to our home with both parents deceased. We had a boy who had traveled from Liberia. His parents were killed in their civil war. He had traveled with a group of people and he was just all alone in Ghana. And I mean his story's amazing. He came and knocked on our gates like right after we had - Oh my gosh. - The first built the home and he was just looking for work because he was in junior high school and he had to quit school because he didn't have any money. And so he was just trying to earn money to go to school. And we created a relationship with him. He worked for us for a little while and then moved in and actually became one of our kids. And he graduated from high school when he was 21. And he is in college now. He's about to finish a four year degree. And he's also a teacher at Ghana-Maka Difference in our school. It's just amazing to hear his stories of his childhood and to see where he is and to imagine his future. That's incredible. As you can imagine, this story is just one of many that Stacey has seen in the course of building and running Ghana-Maka Difference. There is a girl that lived in the village right nearby and she had a huge wound on her leg that would not heal and her family could not afford medical support for her. A lot of the time, I think they slipped on somebody's porch and they mostly lived under a tree. And one night the family left. They left this girl because they couldn't help her. People in the area were convincing them that she was a witch because she couldn't heal. And so they left in the night. And so we were able to take her in and her wound is now healed thanks to our doctors that come regularly. And we also work closely with hospitals in Ghana and medical professionals there. Her entire life has just, she's able to go to school. I mean, there's a lot of trauma there, of course, but she's doing so well. - That's such a great story. Thanks for sharing that. I'm really struck by how well this is snowballed and how it's gone so well of like, oh, I can help with this. And then it turns into this like bigger and bigger and more services provided, but based on real need and not just like, you know, your idea of what people might need. And I'm wondering how you have built trust and partnerships with people in Ghana in order to make this happen. Tell me a little bit about that. - Yeah, I'm really glad you asked. So we have a staff of 54 people at GMAT that are paid staff. And so we have a director, we have social workers, we have a nurse, nannies, cooks, teachers. So we're a large community. Many of them have their families that also live on site. And so we really do have a village there of people working together to create better. life for not only the children that live in the shelter, but for themselves and for their own children. It's really been a beautiful thing because we all learn from each other. We all come together and talk about the processes, the operations of the home and the decisions that we make for the children. Our work is very much guided by their direction and their insights to awareness of the culture and what these children really need to be empowered in their world. And then in addition, we have worked closely with so many organizations in Ghana. We work with an organization who goes out and does the rescues for children who are trafficked. We work with the hospitals, we have doctors that come and operate with our medical team. One thing about Ghana make a difference is there is not a feeling of any one person or any group of people coming to make everything better. To guess everything. It's very much we are all learning from each other. You might start off thinking as a volunteer. I mean, and I personally experienced that. I was all about I'm here to help the kids and that's why I'm showing up. You think you're going to go and save all these people and and I really had to come to terms with that and just recognize that nobody's trying to be anyone's savior. And all we are trying to do is to be his hands and to help his brothers and sister. Our brothers and sisters and to lift where we can. So that's what we do. Nobody comes home from an experience in Ghana. Ghana make a difference without learning so much. Without their life being changed forever. What have been your biggest challenges as you've moved forward? I would probably say one of the one of the greatest challenges is in helping our volunteers to understand that that we're not about gifts or about giving money to solve problems. I think in America, we have access to those resources and we just want to help. We hear these stories that are so difficult in challenging. And we just we want to fix it. And we have very much learned that people are very capable of fixing their own problems and what it really comes down to is opportunity. If we can provide the opportunities for health or for education, these people are able to take care of themselves and create a beautiful life. And so that's one of our biggest challenges with volunteers that they just they want to take away the pain and fix it right now. But it's a long haul. You know, oh, I bet. What keeps you personally motivated on difficult days or when you're traveling or you think, oh, this is difficult? I would definitely say that it's the individual. The people that I see that little girl that came when she was seven and she's now a nurse. Wow. She's graduated from college and she's a nurse and she's thriving you know, just and there's just a lot of those stories and it's just like it makes me think of my time and you know, what I can do with an hour. If I can find someone to sponsor somebody for a nursing program or or whatever, I can change somebody's lives, that would be the best way for me to spend that hour. And when we started this, you know, it was so much about advocating for children and and it has changed my life in ways that I'm not sure that I can describe. It just has filled my life with love that I would have never imagined. Because I don't think we would ever have done it if we would have thought, okay, we've got to build a school, we've got to build a clinic, we've got to build two homes. It feels so overwhelming when you say it like that, right? Exactly. And so we've just gone step by step and it's been a process and we just recently built a surgical center on our campus. Wow. Mr. Beast actually built that for us and the Mr. Beast is been incredible. We Mr. Beast yet, Stacy shared one more example with me of what inspires her to keep going in the difficult moments. This is a letter from a young man who came to GMAT. He had been trafficked to the fishing boats when he was a young child and had never been in school. He didn't speak any English. He came to, gonna make a difference when he was 15 years old and I was there at the time and and helped him to learn how to hold a pencil for the very first time in his life. I had 15 years old. Wow. And he has since completed junior high school. He speaks English very well and he will do a trade school. But he gave me this letter and I'll just read a small part of it. He says, "I do not know how to express myself to you. You have done a lot for me. Anytime I wake up from bed, I pray for you. When I go to sleep, I pray for you. Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for what you have provided. God bless you. I never know this till I came to GMAT. No one has done or shown me love like this since I was born. Thank you so much. God bless you for your good work. I have nothing to give to you. But only thing I have is to thank you and to pray for you. I will never forget this love and kindness. I love you." That's what keeps me going. Yes, it does. And that letter is for everybody who's had a hand in this work. I feel guilty because I get a lot of those letters. And I know it says not just talking about me. He's talking about so many that have contributed to offer him this opportunity and he's already thriving and he's going to continue to thrive. And there's no words for that kind of joy. I'll throw out our interview. I was struck with Stacey Hoffman's humility. Her desire to just do good for everyone that she comes into contact with is something that I admire a lot. I don't think that a lot of us, when we are waiting for big things to happen, small things to happen, or just even shifts in our lives, look outwards the way that she does. At the end of our conversation, it didn't feel like she was waiting for life to happen or waiting for her life to happen. But she just kept doing good and adjusting to what those around her really needed. The next time I feel like I'm in limbo, I'm going to remember this conversation with Stacey. I'm also going to remember that the impact of what we do, however small, can have a snowball effect. The Lisa show is a production of BYU Radio hosted by Lisa Valentine Clark. This episode is produced by Becker-Hillur-Lung with help from Erica Price, Blake Morse, and Kenny Mears with post-production by Kipling Mow. A special thanks to today's guest, Stacey Hoffman. Stacey Rose the charity, "Gonna Make a Difference." Links will be in the show notes. Don't miss out on two other amazing podcasts from Lisa's show family. The Council of Moms and Proofread, a new book review podcast to help you read more of what you love. You can find the Council of Moms and Proofread on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. As always, thanks for your messages. We read them all and thanks for listening. [Music] Remember wearing out your favorite VHS tape or scratching that one DVD from playing it on loop? Well, here's a new BYU original podcast that you're going to love. Voice over. Movies that move us. It rewinds the scenes that stuck with us long after the credits were rolled. Show host Heather Bigley at Film Studies PhD in former professor brings a mix of movie history behind the scenes know-how and personal passion to every conversation. And each episode she's joined by guests who share movie moments that shifted perspective sparked self-reflection or stirred the soul. From old Hollywood gems to today's biggest blockbusters, Voice over pays tribute to the movies that left a mark sometimes when you'd least expect it. So step into the world of cinema and listen to Voice over. Movies that move us now on BYU radio, YouTube, Apple podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen.