How do you see yourself?

(gentle music) Hey, it's me Shelby, and this is my podcast. A podcast you probably didn't know about, but we'll definitely end up raving about. This is where I ask questions, find answers, and share them with you. You can ask me questions at askkshobie@gmail, or I also created an Instagram. Yep, for a podcast, apparently it's social there. So that's it. Just raw, real, fun information with me, Shelby. So what's gonna be your question? (gentle music) All righty, so this question, this idea, this curiosity came from a really close friend, and she always jokes about it. I never really thought about it until she just brought it up. And so I wanted to share with the rest of you about this discovery and this find, and I think that it's something that we all should have or do or share, and yeah. So I thought this was a great conversation to have, coming back and doing the podcast and all that. So she had asked me, how do I, how do I believe in myself or, okay, so let's just put some context into this. We were having a conversation and she was talking about herself and I had said, oh yeah, I'm amazing and I'm beautiful. I'm giving myself all of these positive words and she's like, God, you're the most humble person I know. It's aracistically and funny and we're just laughing because I believe it strongly. All the wonderful things that I say about myself, it's never in a drogatory way and it's, but we were, we were faith timing and okay, we were faith timing and I had the sun and the blue sky and it was lightly splattered with clouds and it was just gorgeous and the sun was hitting me the right way and my skin was nice and glowy. I was feeling good. I had just come from errands. It's not like I had an amazing outfit or anything I was out in the ball and so I'm talking to her and I forget what we're talking about, but it had something, oh, I was inspiring her about, yes, you should do this, you should do this. And I'm like, damn, and you know what, you should feel good 'cause I look so good right now, like this lighting, yeah, you just kind of vibe, so you need to pop out there and so we're chuckling about that and she's like, God, how do I get that or how do I have that confidence? Like you believe this, you're not just bullshitting and you're not just roleplaying this, these mantras or these things that you're seeing over and over. Like you truly believe this and I feel it when you speak it and I always just chuckle that it because I wasn't always like this and we're not always like we were when we were kids and adolescents and all that and you grow into these phases in your life and so this phase in my life, it's really beautiful and I really, when I step back in awe of it because I've grown so much and I've experienced so much and it just is so beautiful and you know, I just shot it from the rooftops. Now do I go up to strangers and say, I'm beautiful, no. But I do know when I look at myself in the mirror or when I'm getting ready or doing something that I do for myself and I pat myself in the back like, damn, that's really good or wow, that's really awesome or you're like, oh, you did your makeup really nice today or oh, that outfit looks so good. And you know, and that confidence builds over time and you feel that and everything and so I had to and I said, you know what, like I had thought about what you said and I was getting ready to go out to dinner the other night and I remember your question 'cause I had, you know, it was something myself when I was getting ready like, oh my gosh, this looks so good. Like your skin looks healthy and you know, there's something like some all these beautiful things and I was getting excited getting ready 'cause I was like, oh wait, wait till I put this necklace on or wait till I put this on or, oh no, let me just spray and I'll smell good and you know, I'm just having a fun time getting ready and that's when it kind of clicked to me and it was the idea of how all of this confidence and beauty had shown and so I believe that you will see yourself or you will feel incredible and beautiful when you surround yourself with incredible and beautiful things and that can mean, you know, different things to everyone. You know, we all have our own aesthetics and we all like the things that we like and in my room in particular and in the things that I have, they portray that because I was a really young kid and this is something that has actually been steady throughout. I knew what I liked and I went with it. Now was I vocal about it? Not all the times. There were some things that I shied away from, you know, if I was too girly or if I was too this or if I was too that, I would really try to not showcase that part of me and I would showcase more of the stronger, female, you know, independent, doesn't need a man, doesn't need anybody, you can do it all on her own because that's just why everybody else, you know, wanted me to be or, you know, had this idea of me. But even so, I still had, you know, the image of what I wanted and as I matured and I got older, I was able to express that more and easily and accept those things and accept like, you know what you really like this? You really, really do like the color pink. You're not just someone who loves black, black looks amazing, but you love the color pink and you love yellow. And I love like that beautiful mustard, gold, yellow, not the like neon yellow, although neon yellow is really killer too. But yeah, so, you know, then I was like, you know what, I'm not gonna hide these things that I really love about myself or these things that I really love because it's, you know, it's not gonna be accepted. So, you know, you grow into all that and you mature and you're like, "Ah, where am I depriving myself that chocolate cake? Like, I really want it. I don't care if I'm gonna feel bloated later or maybe that at the palm later." Like, I really want that. You know, this is something that's in me and I want to fulfill that. I use chocolate cake because I hope everybody can relate to food. [laughs] But anyway, so, you know, you know your aesthetics, you know what you like. Stop shying away from that, you know, embrace it. And I promise you, you'll be super happy when you try it. And you know what, if you, if you're not happy and you do try it, you don't loon it for a day or two and really kind of express yourself in it and try to accept it and maybe it'll be something that you really like or maybe you're like, "You know what? I thought I liked that, but I don't." So, for me, what really inspired all of this self-love and everything is my vanity. And I say vanity, but it's actually my grandmother's mirror and I put like the, like the IKEA cubby thingy that I got from Walmart in front of it and you know made it a vanity because I've got like my perfumes on it, my jewelry, my face stuff. So, I call it a vanity, but you know, and I get ready in front of it too. And then it, so it's in my closet, so I use half my closet for hanging my clothes and then the other half is for this vanity because yeah, I just, I just thought it was like showgirls and I have the Edison lights hanging in my closet. So when I turn on those lights, it just feels like, you know, I'm backstage getting ready. I don't know. I really love movies. I really love old movies, vintage. That's my aesthetics. But yeah, so that's what really gets me going. So anyways, you know, I set this up and originally this mirror came from my grandmother's house and I remember every time when I was a young girl. I would run over to her room because this mirror was right before you went into her bedroom. There's this little hall and it opened up into the living room, dining room and there is this like big space in between those two areas and then in that space you would walk into this like mini hall thing and it was my grandmother's room on one side and like a storage closet on the other but right in the middle had this two foot, two and a half foot mirror, no about two foot and it has this beautiful or neat gold frame around it and I know this will probably sound godly to you like others who don't like gold but think if you've gone to an art museum and you've seen those really old portraits or those really old still lifes and it's got those really ornate gold frames that's what this mirror looks like and it's not modern. My grandmother says it's vintage but when you tap on it it sounds plastic so I don't it's not wood but I don't know it's vintage in the sense that it's old and I don't really care if it's vintage or if there is a monetary value to it or anything I love this mirror it has so much beautiful memories for me and I remember getting ready in this mirror and as a girl I would always go over to my grandmother's house and I was the only girl. I only have a brother and I only had on this side of family which is my mom's side I only had boy cousins so I was alone for a really long time as a girl growing up so like curly things I had to survive you know or I was amongst seven boys and it was one girl and so I had to be strong and I had to show like you can't do that to me you know I'll beat you up or I'm stronger than you guys so I really had to have this facade like I don't like curly things I can be better than you and I do better than you and I had to be this tomboy and be really tough when actually I'm not really that way I've just had to survive and I had to you know I had to do that and then eventually I like those parts of myself I do appreciate the strength that I have and the flexibility of going in and out but naturally I am more girly and I am more of a sparkly and pink and you know all those things I do appreciate all of that that's that's I guess naturally what I go towards but then I balance it off with my harder edgers are castic side so I do have those two but aesthetically it's definitely the vintage gold you know classic looking styles and so this mirror for me and the setup that I have now it brings me power like it brings me life it gives me life and when I look at myself and it's right now I am sitting in front of it you know recording this to you guys and I'll do my after I've cleaned my face I'll you know put on my moisturizer I'll do my hair in this mirror you know all that kind of stuff and I am just in love with the person I see and I'm not saying that I'm flawless which is kind of funny or that I have no flaws because yeah flawless interesting I have flaws I have my own flaws I have I'm sure people think that I have a lot of flaws but when I look at myself in this mirror I only see beautiful things and I only see a beautiful person and because when I would look in this mirror as a kid that's all that I saw as well and you know it gave me strength and it just made me so excited and happy and so I think this mirror has helped to kind of help me express love and all those things that I loved from this mirror as a child onto myself because I look at it and what I see in the mirror I see in myself and you know when I see other mirrors I am kind of critical and I'll you know do that but then because I get rid of this mirror all the time and I've you know done this for a while now I don't let those negative comments like bog me down as much but they do come so you know I'm human it's a balance of you know good and bad but if I have those negative comments I come back them with all the good things and I'll bring my spirits back up because I'm the type of person that does not like to be in a low place or in a rabbit hole for a long time because I can really really get down deep in there and and I personally just don't like that feeling so anything I can do to try and get myself out of that I will without you know medication and without self-medicating and all those other things I met a point in my life where I don't want to self-medicate or I and I've always even when I was younger I always did not like just medication in general so like Advil I reprofen all of that I felt really gross and sick and and I used to pop Advil all the time because they have that candy coating and you know a slight headache a slight whatever I pop that and you know you learn about all this stuff and I had kicked it so I don't use ibuprofen or Advil you know everything is natural for me or I tried to find that but yeah I think the only thing that I take right now is breath control and I mean I don't get me wrong I have multivitamins and stuff and you know and I've gone through different types of vitamins and everything but wow that is totally a different straight if you want to know the type of vitamins I have I will definitely talk about that but yes natural I tried to I'm trying to be natural but that was if I look back five years ago I did not have this type of mindset I did not have all of this confidence like clear confidence and clear you know I always do all the bad ass because I had to be a bad ass but you know beautiful and you know all this other all these other positive words and additives I use on myself now comes more easily to me because I surround myself with beautiful things that remind me about my beautiful life and how lucky I am and all of my gratitude and everything I'm grateful for so I encourage you to go and find something if it's not you know a vanity that you get ready in front of or something if because you all probably have that one outfit or that one thing that you feel good in now imagine that and you're looking at it all the time and it's looking back at you and what you see in that item is your face looking back at you hence why my vanity has changed how I look at myself because I'm looking at myself through this beautiful thing literally because I would have beautiful pieces like that I loved I'd have a necklace that I thought I was my my neck you know it was just that one area that was super beautiful earrings that I was like oh my actually the beautiful earrings are outfits and you know that made me feel beautiful and or makeup you know makeup always makes you feel wonderful if you've got a nice haircut you know good style a bag something there are always going to be things that you really really love things that represent you in some kind of way and you feel amazing with or because of it and so I encourage you to continue to surround yourself pick one thing that you remember either as a kid or even recently that you constantly look at it and it brings you so much light and love and just excitement and all of the wonderful adjectives that you want to fill your life with when you look at that one thing it fills you with that um and then take that note and do it again and again and again and you know multiply it and surround yourself with that and then you know look at yourself through those things like wow I am surrounded by so many beautiful wonderful things that must mean that I am beautiful and wonderful too. Because how can, you know, I be beautiful and wonderful. But I definitely think if you want to start with yourself, you should, you know, you should look at yourself. You are incredibly beautiful and you are, just the most wonderful person you will ever meet. And I know we have all of these things too. Work on that we want to work on and, you know, all these things, but don't take that as a negative. Take that as a beautiful stepping stone into the next step to your better self. I am a way better person than I was yesterday, 10 years ago, five years ago. And I look back and I am constantly reminded of, wow, I came from that and now I'm here. I'm so grateful that's incredible. And if you're just starting your journey now, that's great. That's awesome. If you don't want to start your journey, next podcast, next episode, and it's okay. But I'm just letting you know this is how I have a better image of myself. You know, these are the things that make me feel better about myself. And I feel it and I look at it and, you know, it's true for me. And so yeah, I'm not saying that I'm perfect. I'm not saying I fit every aesthetic. I'm definitely not saying that. But for me, that's how I accept myself. And I hope that you find that for yourself. Please let me know if you've got any tips and tricks about accepting yourself and loving yourself or how you love yourself and all that. But yeah, what you put out there is what you'll get. And I really believe that. So I hope this helped. I hope you guys go and find yourself a beautiful vanity. (laughs) And share with me if you, what I don't mean was, you know, I've got an Instagram, I'd love to see it. I'd love to connect with you guys. But yeah, again, thank you so, so much for listening. That was just, you know, top of mind. And yeah, I just wanted to share. Thank you so much and have a beautiful, beautiful day or night or whenever you listen to this. (upbeat music)