278: Hot Mess Express

Do you guys plug Justin's music on here often? Why not? I just doesn't come up organically. But you should. We got to talent in musician. I'm not going to bring it all up. You got to bring it up. Yeah. Justin is very, very talented and he's very humble. Doesn't talk about him so far much. He's working on a really amazing musical. That's going to, you know, make its way into the world here very soon. So it is in the world, but in a big way. So he's very, very talented. Well, thank you. Very proud of you. Today's theme. Are you guys ready? Have you got your ticket? Am I not survive it? Are you ready to come aboard? Choo-choo. Choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo-choo. I don't have it in you for that today. I'm not going to do it. I love, I could have waited for so much longer. I was hoping that you guys were going to try to make it a challenge. I was running out of breath. I was in a pass out. I'm already at 40%. Yeah, it felt very culty. Like, I wish you guys could have seen it from my angle the way you guys looked at the same time. Oh, well, I felt judged. Well, I felt judged. I felt judged. I felt made fun of. I felt like I was not cool because of the way you looked at me. Yeah. So thanks. I feel like that is so unfair for you to do that. She calls a call. But then we can't. We can't. We can't give our side. Your feelings are valid. So, I just feel like you shouldn't do this after the last time we did a three of us episode. I know. I was like, we can't tell when we're kidding. I know. And I was just trying to be playful. And people were like, Oh, my God. She's bullying Justin. And I'm like, No, you guys should hear him off camera. He says to me. Okay. Well, here's how you make up for it. Okay. Okay. Give me your best train sound. No. I don't want to do this today. Just your best chuchu. We just get a solo. Yeah. I did mine. Chuchu. That was great. Thank you. Good job. I was purposely trying to make it like teenage angsty. I appreciate it. Okay. I really value your participation and appreciate your effort, even if it was against your will somewhat. Evert effort. Yeah. I'm entertained for effort. Yeah. Okay. Let's hear yours. I would go for like a all aboard. Oh. Oh. That brought me right back to Polar Express. It did just give a little Tom Hanks energy. Did anyone have that wooden train whistle? Sure. That's what I want right now. Yeah. But I'm not going to try and make that sound. Because I literally am obsessed with trains now because of how much I love the trains in France. I love a good train. I love a good train. It was just so easy. I love good public transportation. So affordable. And the train straight to Cannes took 30 minutes and it was I paid for like the upgrade, which is like an extra $5. And it was like this really cozy cabin area. Like it was you. There's your chargers and everything like I got to like sprawl out for five bucks. Yeah. Man. I know. I wish I would have taken the train now. Yeah. I don't even think I said what the theme is, but all aboard the hot mess express. I forgot to. Whoa. We are coming off some crazy energy. The three of us went to Cannes together and Mallorca and just had like an amazing THT trio trip and just like really just had a good time. A little bit of work. A lot of it work. And then some play at the end just like relaxed regroup and I think our bonding experience of thinking I was booking a boat and I accidentally booked a van has really just bonded us. Yeah. And that was a hot mess. And today we're getting into a lot more of those stories of just people that you just hear and you're like, Oh my God, please don't do that or. And you can just you grimace at that because it's so bad. Well, I'm excited. Okay. Are we ready? Yes. Buckled my seatbelts. Oh. We're riding this train. Yeah, baby. Everyone's buckled in. Okay. Without further ado, let's dive in. Let's do it. Chuchu. Okay, y'all. This first one is coming from our very own to how to subreddit. It's titled women always call me a lucky guy when they meet my girlfriend and it's not feeling like a compliment anymore me 25 male and my girlfriend 21 female have been together for a few years. I want to start by saying that I love my girlfriend and I know that I bagged. She is smart, funny, charismatic, a great cook, fit and happens to have a rather impressive behind. When we go out and meet women or when she meets my friends or their girlfriends, I always hear quote, you're so lucky or quote, I hope you know how lucky you are. I understand that this is a compliment and I reply by saying something along the lines of I know it or luckiest man in the world. Today it happened three separate times in the same night. I don't know if I'm being extra insecure, but I just wish that some people would tell her that she is lucky. I also think that I'm an attractive and valuable person, but I'm always the lucky one. It's not feeling like a compliment anymore. I wish that she would tell them that she is also lucky to have me. I feel like I should communicate that to her, but I also don't want to make a big deal out of it, but it is starting to hurt myself esteem. Any advice or alternative perspective that I should be looking at this from? I just so wanted to give him shit, but it's hurting his self esteem and that means something. He should address it if he's having these feelings. He should talk about it and try to figure it out and solve it, but I genuinely really wanted to give him shit. I mean, yeah, because how far does it go? Does this bother you to the point where you'd consider leaving? I don't think so. No, but it still hurts, like it would almost give me an insecurity. I'd be like, God, am I like, am I really that something? Am I someone that people are kind of pitying me and it would almost give me a complex? It's hard for me because I think if it was like Rolls-Reverse and guys kept coming up to me saying that about my partner, I would start to get annoyed too. But I feel like that's not his comment, whereas girls, like I've been around girls that do this. I've probably done this before. It's like, I feel like it's a sign of respect for the girl. You know, if a girl is there and saying, oh, you're so lucky, your girl is amazing. It's kind of like showing, I'm not a threat, I'm here, I'm a cheerleader and a champion for this girl, like, that's at least how I've taken it, but it's so funny because when I was in New York once, I was with some girls at the table and this other girl came in with her boyfriend and asked if they could join us and like talk with us. And then all of the girls, all my friends were like, oh my God, you were so lucky to be with her. She was literally a model. She was a model and she was absolutely beautiful and he was beautiful too. And like, something in her snapped and she goes, I'm lucky to be with him too, how dare you disrespect my man. Oh. And we were like, and the guy was like, oh, like kind of like embarrassed because I think she must kind of have like moments where she snaps and he was just like, I'm so sorry. But she was literally like waving her finger and everyone was like, oh, no, no, no, we were just trying to like give you a compliment and she was like, okay, fine. But we were like, this is weird now, can you believe? Why just sit down here? Bye. Go away. Yeah. So how do you feel it's different if it's not a girl saying it, if it's a guy to a guy, how do you feel that that would be different? Are these all guys or these were girls, right? We don't know. Do we know? I thought I thought when we go out and meet women or when she meets my friends or their girlfriends, I always hear you're so lucky and I hope you know how lucky you are. No mention of who it's coming from, but so women and girlfriends. Yeah. It sounds like kind of everyone. Oh, yeah. But it is a little different from a guy. It depends though. Like almost like boys to boys. If it's like a guy you didn't know, yeah, it's all in, if it's a guy you didn't know, it could also feel weird. We're like, dude, yeah. So lucky. It's all contextual like, what's the relationship? Who are they? How did they say it? There's so much, meaning that's not in just the words themselves and how it's presented because if it were presented a certain way from people you didn't know, then it would be like, hmm, yeah, I would make you start to think. Yeah, it could be a slap in the face. Yeah. But all I can think about is, you must have one hell of a partner. Well, yeah. But it's like, you're in a good position, I get how something could be annoying. But even if I started to feel that way, at some point I would just be like, I'm going to count my lucky stars and this, I'm just going to, I'm going to go with it because clearly everyone around me is like, damn you, you have it made. So. That's the right way to go. That's why I wanted to give this guy some crap. But again, if it's messing with his, you know, then like his self esteem, then it's good that he's talking about it instead of just like brushing it off and pushing it down and then like popping off one day and it seems like it's out of nowhere. So like that's good. But I do think sometimes it, like think about how, you know, how partners like they should be saying, like, you're the most beautiful woman in the world when they're dating you. And they should believe that and all that good stuff. I was thinking about how crazy would be to be like dating Gigi Hadid or something and be like, no, but, no, but really, no, but like, and everyone else is really. And it's like, if I, like if I were to be dating someone like, but someone does look at you on a, on a better level than Gigi Hadid, you just need to find that person that has those glasses on and sees you that way. Yeah. I think that I genuinely think that like every person that dates somebody should feel like they're the most beautiful person. Yeah. And with that, I would just imagine like if I was dating someone who like I find like that, I would expect that people are going to be coming up to me and be like, oh my God. I still though, like no matter how much I loved my partner and how beautiful I thought they are. And like if it's never like, you guys are a great couple. If it's never that and it's always you're so lucky, you're so lucky. I really hope you know how lucky you are. Like I would just start to feel like my top liver, like I understand where he's coming from. Yeah. However, I think talk to your partner about it. And you know, maybe if she overhears it every now and again, she's like, I'm lucky to. I'm lucky too. I think that's great. We're a great partner. We're a great match. Because I think like it's also your person hyping you up and just feeling like your person has your back because you are together for seemingly good reasons. And you realize how lucky you are. You say it. But it's nice to feel appreciated and loved and you know, but you have your tires pumped every once in a while. I really think that that would just be the, like, would solve it. Yeah. If he had his partner being like, I'm lucky too because I even mentioned that. I really think it's a quick fix. It's, I think it's an easy fact because you can't control other people. You can't control the public and like what they come up and say to you like that. So I think that really, like, you just have to go inward and be like, I just want to make sure that, you know, our bond is as strong as I think it is. And like, I just wanted to talk to you about that and how it made me feel. And then, you know, hopefully, yeah, girlfriend is like, Oh, I got you, baby. Well, and I don't know if this is true. I'm literally speaking out of thin air right now. I have no idea about this, like statistically or whatever, but I think from my perspective as a woman, like growing up, you always want to be told, like, you look good. You look pretty. Like, I think that's how I grew up and wanting that validation right externally. I don't know if guys are like used to getting complimented. Like, how often do guys get flowers? Not often. How often do guys get told you look really good today? Great outfit. I like your style. I think there's kind of a difference in traditional gender norms, they're how often we pump up guys. Yeah. And so, like, when Justin gets complimented on like a jacket, he wears, we literally just talked about this other day because I commented a lady at the super store and he's like, you're so good at complimenting people. That's right. Yeah. You're exceptionally good. And I'm just like, but it's so genuine. It's not fake. It's just organic. I saw her belt. I was like, damn, you're about to suck you. Now, do you like make people's days? I just like, I just love complimenting people and I'm trying to be better about it. Even do it more because I think it a lot too and I don't say it. Yeah. Same. But he is like, I think about every single compliment I've ever gotten. And he brought it up. He's like that guy that really liked my jacket at that bar and Hollywood. Yeah. I remember every compliment and I'm like, I could never say that and not to say I get complimented all the time. But like, it's so much more normal for me. It is in the girly, girly world. For us girly pops, it is much more normal. And that's exactly what I was saying that we always are trying to do role reversal for a lot of these things. But I do think that there's some things where it's just a little bit hard because of the fact that like me, I am a girl who's trying to hype up all of my girls and new girls that I'm me and just like, and that doesn't happen. I watch any person I've ever dated. They don't do that with each other. You know? It's just different and so that's why I think that I was kind of, you know, at first annoyed because I'm just like, if it's girls, you are lucky to have her. Yeah, if it's girls are like, hyping up like the girl and trying to be like, she's amazing. Especially in today to like, have a group of friends and girls, be girls girl. Yeah. That's also a newer thing. It's great. It feels good. Yeah, it feels really good. Women sporting women. Like, yes. So we do get an edit. Okay. So edit, additional info, we've been together for three years. We met when she was 18 and I was 21. It was a meet cute, not an app. If you want specifics, our age gap is just over three years. So there is a period of time where it seems like our age gap is four years. Either way, I don't think our age is as relevant to the advice I'm asking. LOL. I have friends that are 28 who are married to 36 year olds. Me and my girlfriend both have had several long term relationships over a year, prior to meeting. I don't know why so many comments think that we're too young to last. We have similar relationship experience. Also damn y'all, give me some time to respond. Second, I am a good looking guy. I may be modest and bashful, but I know that I'm a catch despite having my own insecurities. She hit on me when we met. I know that some commenters here are imagining a two with an 11, but that's not the case. We look good together. Are people saying that because that's not what I was, but drain? That's funny. No. Context. People are asking what does she do and how does she present herself compared to me? Here's the context. My buddy needed some help working on his house. So me and another friend were helping him and planned on eating food cooked by my girlfriend and his later in the day. There are three guys, including me and four girls, including my girlfriend. The first comment came when we were eating and one of the girls said that she hopes I know how lucky I am in reference to my girlfriend's cooking because it's delicious. The second comment came when the boys were outside working and the girls were chilling by an inflatable pool and ogling over my girlfriend's butt. The third comment came after my girlfriend told one of the girls that she was studying a hard STEM field at university, saying how lucky I was that she was smart and has a big butt. This seemed like a, you better wife her up moment. Lots of talk about her butt. Anyways, after reading some of your guys' comments, I don't think it's the intention behind what people are saying, but how often it happened this particular night mixed along with feeling more insecure that particular evening. I'm not as outgoing as she is when we go out, but I certainly wouldn't consider myself a stick in the mud, LOL. I know how to have fun at my own pace. The story makes me feel like you don't. No, I think he was just in his feels. I know. Like a dick for no reason, sorry. That's okay. We've been there. I mean, but we've all done that where you take things too far in your own mind. You just go down this rabbit hole, and it shows how things that really not shouldn't, but things that wouldn't otherwise be an issue can become this huge problem. And then when it becomes this huge problem internally for you, you can bring it to someone else, tell them how you feel, and they're like, what do you even mean? Because they don't even understand how that could become a problem, because you haven't maybe waited too long to share those feelings or something, but I think it's not surprising when things that seem like to all of us that should be a non-issue have built up and turned into this big thing. Snowballs roll down the whole hill and become this giant boulder that, you know, it's hard to explain, but it's like, it's not so surprising when it's like, oh, that became this issue. Yeah. Well, and I think all of us out there, like we all get in our heads about something that no one else would think twice about, definitely, and I think that's what it is. I think he was also trying to like gauge like, am I thinking too into this? Like, he was also trying to be like, am I overreacting in a sense? Because there are comments here from OP that say, our communication is great. I just didn't know whether this is something valid to bring up or not, but I don't see a downside to having it out in the open. I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable in future interactions, or make her feel as if she's obligated to interject whenever someone mentions how lucky I am. Right. Another comment. She hyped me up plenty, thankfully. It's the comments from others that are starting to make it seem like I'm the luckiest person in the world because why would someone like her be with me, you know? And it's basically what we talked about, but I think it did kind of snowball for him, and you know, our worries or insecurities can get the best of us, but oh yeah, I think this is a super easy fix. And I would just say like, I love you like, gosh, you're so lucky comments got to me or, you know, maybe he hears all these takes and he's like, not a big deal anymore. Oh, well, I also have gotten hung up over and obsessed over, ruminated over much, much smaller things. So, huh? So like, I get it. This would shake me. Yeah. This would have me a little in my head. And it's, and I think it's doing the right thing. You're going to read it first and asking about it and trying to get some advice rather than like blowing up on your partner and being like, you need to say nice things. And then like then like he said, that would be awful if she then felt uncomfortable every time somebody said that. What if he was forced? Right. Exactly. Exactly. It's like, no, I just want to feel loved too. Yeah, no. So it's, it's the right routes. I was, I was being a little too hard on him. It's okay. Top comment. It sounds like you want more validation from your partner. This is a very normal thing to ask for in a relationship. And I would try having a discussion about what you actually need from her as a supportive partner. There's nothing wrong with also wanting to feel beautiful and loved. But if you bottle it up forever and sit on resentment, it's not going to be good. Next comment down, I had to ask my wife to give me compliments. It wasn't that she didn't think highly of me, but rather that she was raised in a home in which she never received compliments or affirmations herself. So she didn't really know how to. Now she compliments me all the time, both privately and publicly. But here's the thing. I think between partners, I think it's important that you're always still fighting for each other in the sense that you're still not to win them over because once you've married and all that, you're not winning them over. But I think it that same essence, I think you should always be fighting to for lack of a better term right now, win over your partner. You should always be trying that. No, it's there's an Uber driver. It's like basically saying what you're saying. But he was so funny. I think he was recently divorced at the time. And he was like, let me tell you something. When you get really comfortable in a relationship, he goes, don't walk around the house naked, save it for those like special moments. And he goes close the door and you're using the bathroom. He's like, let the relationship still have that mystery, that like excitement so that it doesn't tune it out and then make it like mundane. Yeah. How'd you get to that topic? Isn't that what you were saying? No, I met in the Uber. Oh, you know. I mean, no, I think it's Uber rising. We know that. No, I have had some really intense, deep conversations with Uber drivers like we had one lady and she was so sweet and she was like literally driving to support her kids who have all had kids. And like it was like she had such an intense story. And I had just gone like a bunch of like makeup PR stuff. And I was like, let me go in the house and grab you some stuff. Gave her a whole bag of goodies. And she was like, thank you. And we just like, we bought it. We're buddies. So yeah, I get that. No, I've had, especially in like my younger years, I've had like, I've been like, hold the car over, turn the Uber off and come party with us tonight. Wait, no, we did that. I know. We used to. Yeah. No, I was like, I was that true story. I was there. We did take our Uber driver out. Here's fun. But yeah, no. So that's that's nothing. The one I told you. Yeah. Okay, let's move along to this next story. Do it. This is coming from Am I the asshole? It is titled Am I the asshole for beating my girlfriend's dad in a hot dog eating contest. I'm 25 male, girlfriend, 24 female, girlfriend's dad, 51 male. Okay. So the hot dog eating contest happened like six months ago. And I had no idea that I did anything wrong. But my girlfriend and I were arguing about something else. And she brought up the contest and said, I had acted childishly. And I wanted to know if there was anything that I had to apologize for. So basically six months ago, my girlfriend invited me to a food festival in her hometown. The day I arrived, I learned that there was a hot dog eating contest. And the prize would be a hundred dollar gift card to a large tech retail store. Being a casual competitive eater in college, I decided that it would be a fun idea to enter. And I signed up on the website. When I told my girlfriend's family that I'd entered the contest, my girlfriend's dad, good naturedly, clapped me on the back and said, let the best man win. Oh, he did himself. Apparently, my girlfriend's dad had won the hot dog eating contest for the last four years. And was somewhat expecting to win again. Winning the gift card, I decided to give the contest my all. I ate a bunch of hot dogs. I wasn't even paying attention to what I was doing. But by the time I was done, I'd eaten 16 hot dogs in five minutes, beating my girlfriend's dad, who only ate 12 hot dogs. When I was done, my girlfriend's brother Liam, 14 male and a bunch of his friends mobbed me, calling me, quote, the dogler, giving me high fives and clapping me on the back. The dad is just doing over there. They said that I had dethroned the dogler, pointing to my girlfriend's dad, and that I was the new dogler and that I was real glizzied rizzler or something like that. And that I was just shoving glizzy after glizzy down my gullet. I don't know you guys. Boys are weird. Dwarfs than moist. They posed for pictures with me. It was weird, but kind of fun. Later, my girlfriend's dad came up to me, shook my hand, and said that I was good competition. He went home to do something in his wood shop, so I hung out with my girlfriend, Liam and his friends, going around to various food stalls and games. When we all ate dinner that night, the hot dog contest didn't come up at all, except for when Liam kept referring to me as the dogler, and saying that he wanted to make a special dogler shirt for me. We had a nice breakfast the next morning. No sign that anything was wrong. Today though, my girlfriend brought up in our argument that her dad was actually really wounded by losing the hot dog eating contest, but just didn't say anything to me. I said that if I wasn't supposed to enter the contest, then was it really a contest at all? And she said that it was less about the contest, but about the special dogler shirt, Liam made his dad a dogler shirt for the years. He won the contest, but I got the dogler 2024 shirt. She said that her dad only wanted to win the contest to connect with Liam, and if anything, I should be able to understand the masculine ego. Shut up. This is so stupid. So I read it. Am I the asshole? No. This is a personal problem. This is really, really stupid. Yeah. What? That's like, it's not like you're playing your, your baby niece in a game of, I don't know, checkers or some shit where you let the kid win, not all the time, because they got to learn the real world, but it's a competition. You show up. You do your best. That's what we've all learned to do. That's human nature. Yeah. How are you going to know the subcontext of, oh, dad wants to connect with Liam, and this is the one way they do it. This is your first year. Yo, dad's got to work on relationship with Liam. If the only way they can connect is winning this hot dog eating. There's other things that play here, and now we're grasping at things to say to try and make me feel bad for winning. Yet it's just like, no, I would show up and want to dominate everyone. It's like, I went and played the softball league with your dad with Jerry, and it's not like, I'm going to go easy. I pull played. Everyone is expecting, oh, we got this young guy here. He's going to come in and help us win. It's like, yeah, that's what you do. Yeah, I mean, he's clearly good. He, what did he say? He was an amateur hot leader. He just like didn't this free time. He was a casual competitive eater in college. This OP, so it's like, he's, yeah, and good. 16 hot dogs in five minutes is crazy. And when you are abusing yourself, I mean, I feel like that feels like abusing yourself because I feel like that would be painful personally. Maybe it's not. They trained for it. Have you ever watched the Nathan's hot dog eating competition? Yeah, I tried to actually get Joey. You know, we watched it with her. Yeah, for the July one year. Okay. Do you, what's Joey's last name again? He's like the most famous hot dog eater. Oh, I tried to get Joey Chessna. Yes. Yeah. And I tried to, I got him for like a birthday thing. A cameo. Yeah, cameo. And then he cancelled it. And he's, there's no longer doing cameos. And I was like, oh, very upset about it. Joey Chessna, you're out there. Help a girl out. - Yeah, you've got a big fan. You've got a big fan out there. - Well, somebody is a big fan, and so I was trying to do that as a gift for someone, but whatever. - Yeah, but I think they do prep before the competition. - So they do, you know, they are-- - It's like doing a marathon without training. - Exactly. But my point is, is like, why would this OP be like, let me join this contest to eat 11 hot dogs really fast, but then stop right there so that I can let this guy win. I feel like if you're gonna do a competition and let someone else win, I feel like a hot dog eating contest is not the one, you know? Like, yeah, go big or go home. Try to win it or don't play that game 'cause that doesn't sound fun. - No, and I do understand where the dad's coming from, right? Like it's probably amazing to be a hero in your kids' eyes. - Then do better. - Then do better. - But hey, maybe you ask him for some advice and say next year, let's train a little bit. We do get a picture of the shirt. - Okay. - We do get a picture of the dogler, adorable. - Pretty good, actually. - We could also improve the shirt a little. - You know, I like it actually more than I would've thought. - Look at the year, the year is an afterthought. - The year could be better. Yeah, that's true. - I wanna see the year written on the bun of the hot dog, 2024. - Visually that would look better. That's true, but I like the hot dog though. I don't know if I want it to be touched. - The hot dog's an interesting color. - I mean, it looks like it's handmade with pens. So I'm sure, you know, that's the only thing. - I should hire him for a next merch release. - Really sure. - Liam, hey, looking for some new merch. What do they have? - Man. - The hotties. - Yeah. - It would just be sold out instantly. - Honestly, I think Liam might be better than what I could do. So yeah, no, it's good, it looks like the grudge wrote it. It's like horror film writing. Look at that, that's like when you walk into the mirror and they go, you're gonna die and it's written in blood, that's the font. Maybe the dogler is still pretty safe. Maybe it's 'cause it says dogler. It's never, it would be a scary thing. - Those jeez would fuck you up. They look like nail scratchers. - How did we get here? (laughing) - 'Cause there's not much else to go on on this story. - Well, let's get into some comments then. Top comment, not the asshole. You didn't really have any idea this was an important family tradition and moment until after you signed up. And who has control of the actions of a crowd of 14 year olds anyways? That said, all this tension for a gift card is kind of intense. I hope you got something good with the prize money. OP responds, well, she did tell me that it was a tradition. But I didn't think it was as big of a deal as apparently it is. I got a couple of video games I had been on. Finances have been kind of tight recently, so it was nice. Someone responds to that. I mean, if it is a tradition, dad, if anything, should be proud that if he was gonna lose, it was to you. His progeny's significant other. - Yeah, and you can train for next year, like let's build up the competition for a big 2025. - Yeah, someone responds to that. Exactly. Who else does he trust more with his daughter than the dogler? - True, true. - You know, it's passing the reins. - Especially wearing the shirt. - I think he wears the shirt now when they do it. - It really bothers me that the girlfriend was like, "Oh, you know, male egos." And like, it's her dad, you know, she's trying to. - I think it's ridiculous, point blank. I think that male egos are annoying. So I'm annoyed that she said it. Like, it's a reason to excuse it. - Yeah. - Yeah. - No, it's silly. I think I'd be like, "Dad, girl, come on, dad." I'd be more so like talking to my dad if he was seriously upset. - Yeah. - Someone goes, "Not the asshole. When we all ate dinner that night, so you had dinner after eating 16 hot dogs?" - Jesus Christ. - Oh, he responds. I ate some green beans, I think, but man, the toilet was-- - Full. - That's true. - That was flash, maybe triple. - I don't like that that gave me a visual. - I wanted a full poop episode. - No, Justin. Call it Justin's poop episode. - You can put that on your own channel. - My first video. - Yeah. Well, I'm certainly glad you added that detail, dogler. - Yeah. - Yeah. (laughing) - Oh my God. - Oh my God. Okay, guys, we do get an update. - Oh, let's hear it. - Oh, I can't wait. - 2025. - Okay, has a little update. My girlfriend found this post. She was a little mad at first. - Yeah, you put the dogler shirt on there. (laughing) - Dog giveaway. (laughing) - But overall, our original argument kind of went away because I put all of my clothes in the dryer and luckily I booked two consultation appointments. So that part of the argument went away as well. - Say what? - I miss something. - Maybe because the job, like finances were kind of hard, like job stuff was tough. - Oh God, I got it. - So that part of the argument went away as well. The hot dog thing was kind of just a bonus job. She threw in my face when she found the dogler shirt in the washer. She doesn't really care about it now. She agreed to stop bringing stuff up from a long time ago and said she accidentally overexaggerated how sad her dad was about the contest. I had a feeling, I had a feeling. So overall, things are nice. She's a little surprised and upset at the amount of posters that suggested we break up. Also, I was a little surprised by all the people who called me the asshole just for entering the contest. Also, after a lot of asking, I've decided to post the shirt. I smoked a little too much before I fell asleep and I forgot to take the shirt out of the dryer before I spent all day running my business, but I remembered now. I posted the shirt and had to make an account on ImJer just for this. So I hope you're happy. - Okay. - I am. - So he didn't. - I was posted originally. - No. - So they're probably not, he's probably not wearing the shirt when they do it. - No. - It's a sore topic now. - They're just, they're having sex. He's winning the poo in with just the dogler on. - Oh my God, winning the poo in with nothing. - Oh, me the poo. - That's a good one. - Oh my God. - Wait, why is that like, the image is just so, I hate it, but I love it. It's hilarious. - Immediately. Yeah, you got it. - It's not really a comfy get up, you know? Just wearing a t-shirt around. It's not really. - Yeah. - Yeah. - I also don't like how, now that I look back at the original post, my girlfriend and I were arguing about something else and she brought up the contest and said, I'd acted childishly. Like, we're gonna be in a fight about finances and like, I don't know, paying our bills and then it's thrown in your face. Like, yeah, and six months ago, you beat my dad in that hot dog contest and he was sad. - Yeah, no, and she's trying to accuse him of being childish and then she throws that in there. - Ma'am, the minute you bring up the dogler, you're done. - Yeah, yeah. - You're done. - It's definitely credibility lost. It's gone with the dogler. - You're gonna do that all the time. - It's in the twilight. - People are pulling shit up all the time in our lives. - You know, I've been there. It does feel nice to sling a little mud when you're feeling fiery and hurt and whatever, but you're slinging the dogler as you might. - I thought what I was gonna say, I was like, it's actually, maybe it's even a nicer thing than what I, like, I would have done. 'Cause I feel like if I were to be mad bringing something up, it would be something that actually was really hurtful for you to hold a candle to. - Right, right. - Yeah, it's more valid. - So it's almost like, it seems actually kind of innocent in hindsight that it was like, yeah, well, well, you eat a lot of hot dogs. (laughing) - That is true. - That is very true. - Well, I like the dogler. - Me too. - Our guy. - Our guy. - He needs to be on a merge at some point. - Hot dog, yeah. - Right next to the coconut, just kidding. Too soon, the dogler. - This episode is brought to you by Skims. I don't know about you guys, but I love the feel of cotton undergarments. They're lightweight, breathable. Leave you continuously feeling fresh throughout the day. And my Skims cotton undergarments have been my new staple. I love the lightweight cotton thongs and my cotton rib boxers. The cotton jersey t-shirt has been amazing. Whether I'm wearing it with an athletic skirt to run errands or jeans for a date night, this t-shirt is stretchy and it really just enhances everything with this body hugging fit. It really takes comfort to the next level. It is a t-shirt that I could literally wear anywhere and with anything. So if you're ready to find some of your new favorite cotton pieces, some new staples for your wardrobe, try Skims. They've got all your simple basics that are gonna end up becoming a part of your daily routine. Shop Skims cotton and all of my favorite pieces at skims.com. After you place your order, be sure to let them know. I sent you, select podcast in the survey and be sure to select my show on the drop down menu that follows. Thank you. Okay. Number three, right here, right now. Right here, right now, right here. Yeah, no, same. God, we're so-- - Now she wants to do the chance, but she didn't at the start. - That's a good one. - A train is a little intimidating, okay? Especially you guys should have seen you. I need to take a video. Can you put it on the Instagram? And I'll take a video and you can include it because I know it is just like that, like, too. It was the way that I might take a video in it. - No, no, no. We've re-enrolled the tapes. - Chalka, chalka, chalka, chalka, chalka, chalka, chalka, chalka, chalka. - But no, you don't see it from my angle, though. I get why you were scared. - I need to do it. - Don't need to do it. - Don't need to. It's better from our angle. I feel like I have the best angle. This one is coming from our variant to how to subreddit. It's titled, I told my wife, she's extremely insecure, and that I'm not going to throw away my childhood diaries just because they involve my ex. Am I wrong? No. I've been married to my wife for eight years, and we have two kids together. Before I met my wife, I was with my ex for 14 years. We started dating in middle school, and we're together for pretty much my entire teenage years and most of my 20s. We eventually broke up because we wanted to prioritize our careers and would have meant spending years in a long distance relationship. It was sad, but mutual. During our relationship, we both kept diaries. They weren't shared journals. We each had our own personal diaries where we wrote about our lives, our relationship, our hopes, fears, and pretty much everything else. We also kept photos, ticket stubs, letters, and other little momentos. When we broke up, she asked if we could swap them. She wanted my diaries, so she could remember that chapter of her life, and she gave me all of hers for the same reason. A couple of months after the breakup, I met my now wife. Since then, I honestly haven't paid much attention to those diaries. They were shoved in a bag somewhere, and basically forgotten about. Last week, my wife was away on a business trip, and I was sort of bored. I wanted to finally read those diaries, and I spent an evening reading through the diaries and looking at the old photos. It was really nostalgic. Reading about what life was like back then, and seeing everything that we had saved, brought back a lot of memories. Her diary entries were full of how much she loved me, and how she thought we would spend our lives together. When my wife got home and saw the diaries on the table and asked what they were, I told her the truth, and even let her look through them. She got really upset. She told me I should throw everything away because it's disrespectful to our marriage. She also told me that I should stop having any contact with my ex. For context, my ex moved to another country years ago. We sometimes exchange a text maybe a few times a year, usually something like Happy Birthday, or hope you're doing well. She's usually the one who text me first, and I usually respond in one or two lines. I told my wife that I wasn't throwing the diaries away. To me, they're not just about my ex, they're a huge part of my childhood and the 14 years of my life. They're memories of who I was, not something I'm keeping because I want my ex back. I told my wife that she should stop being so insecure. Am I wrong? Well, okay. Because the title made me feel like it was his diaries. And a little more innocent being just like, "I have a crush on Susie in my class." But this is like, it doesn't feel great. It feels like a romance movie. And it doesn't feel like you really shut the door. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. You're done? I'm not sure. I don't know. A romance movie is the perfect way to put it. Yeah, where they, he finally opens these diaries. She opens hers and it just happens to be at the same time. They text each other. If it was truly his diaries, I have no problem, right? That's amazing to relive your life. Or I know like some people's kids want to read their diaries. Like I have friends that read their parents' diaries. My grandma and my mom have read my great-grandma's diaries. That's really cool. But it's not his writing. It's this other person who he's not married to and has kids with. It is, to me, very strange. The swap originally is kind of strange. Here's the thing. I'm so nostalgic. And like I like to keep all of those type of things. I was just talking about how I have my homecoming dress from sophomore year. It's like so random. It's not even senior year. Like why? And anyway. So I would have a hard time throwing it away, too. So it's like a paradox. I'm like, I don't even know which one. That's not the right way to use paradox. Anyway, I'm in the exact same way. I can't create rid of stuff either. My mom's going through a house right now, pulling out all this old stuff. And we're to the point where it's like take a picture of it and then get rid of it. Because you just want that a lot of the stuff is tied to memories and being nostalgic. It's not actually physically having it. It's a combo. I mean, yeah. No, it depends on what it is. In going through all that stuff, I found a big box. That was from when me and my experts together-- It was his love box. And it was all the same stuff. It was all the notes from in high school. There was all the movie tickets. Everything you could pick up, right? All the little things that mean things. But they don't anymore. And it's not-- I wasn't even interested in opening up the letters and seeing. I mean, there-- Why did you just tossed it? I was literally sitting there. We were all watching like symbols game or something. And I had a recycling bag and a garbage bag in front of me. And I was just like-- Oh, look at that. I was just cycling too. But I'm exactly the same with the nostalgic thing. But when it came to items that are similar to these diaries, I don't even-- I'm not even curious to read through them. Those aren't the memories I'm nostalgic of. That's what I wanted to bring up, because he's like, I want the memories. And blah, blah, blah. They're not your memories, though. They're not your words. There's someone else's most inner thoughts. Did you read these diaries before when you broke up? Or you literally just reading them now 14 years later. And when your wife's out of town, it's just-- Yes, and you leave them out. Like, if this were me and you-- I don't know if it would really bother me. But maybe it would. Like, these inner thoughts. And then I read them. And it's like, this is the love of my life, Justin. We're going to get married. And I'm just like, exactly-- Oh, yeah. Maybe it would bother me. But I think it's fair to be like, hey, do you think you could reach out to her and maybe switch back? If you want to keep these diaries, I understand. But they're also not yours. Why can't we make a little switch a real romance movie continue? I'm sorry, you might. There's that risk. It's setting them up. But the whole tone of the story from the way it was written from the beginning does feel exactly like how you pinned it. It feels like the door is open. Because it feels like he's reading these letters. I mean, like, oh, that's so nice. That was such a nice thing to say. Oh, we had such a great love for one another. That's the issue. Right. The issue is not that they exist. The issue is that the way he's going about all this, leaving him out and just being purposefully, I think, leaving him out. And then being so proud to say, oh, these are diaries from when I was with blah, blah, blah. You can read all of them. Read through them. Please read through them. It's like he wants that type of thing. Like leaving them out on the table. People in the comments do ask about that. Like, why would you leave them out if you knew your wife was insecure? Like, why would you kind of set that up? 'Cause I'm not hiding anything. That's fine. But again, like, were you really that bored with me out of town that you had to bring up these diaries? That's the thing. I would do that. One time, I remember I was looking on social media and I pulled up somebody's name that I had messages with and scrolled through our conversation. I accidentally got there, but then I got interested. I said, that's less weird. And I'm reading all these messages and I was starting to feel like those feelings that I felt so long ago that I've forgotten about and it was like, whoa, it brings you back. Yeah, it brings you back for a second. It kind of feels cool. Like to-- It does, I do like that a little bit. But were those your writings, your memories? Yeah, right. Again, everyone is on board until we swap the journals and that's the top comment. I was with you until you swapped journals. That is weird to me. If I was your wife, I'd be okay with you revisiting your old journals, but keeping and reading the X's. Oof. Next comment, the worst part is, he left them out on the table for his wife to find when she got back from her trip. Same. Ask the X if she wants them back. If not, toss them. Next comment, this is absolutely the way to go. Maybe he can see if he can get his back. Definitely weird to keep and reminisce over his X's diaries. Someone goes, I bet she threw his away a long time ago. Be curious, not be curious. Someone goes, so you left them out on purpose to trigger your wife and now you can blame her for being upset. Sounds like you are not overly satisfied with how your life is now. So strange. I want to know what OP says. Well, upon refresh, when I had the tab, and I could see how old it was, it was 27 minutes old. Upon refresh, it is three hours old. OP has deleted their account and removed the post. Damn it, Morgan. Don't do that to me. We can't have an update every time. But I want one. I really want one on this one because I really wanted to hear like if he's like confess that he does have feelings or if that he's like, whoa, what are you guys talking about? It's not that deep. I just wanted to hear it from OP. Hey, I mean post it on the two outtakes, Reddit. I looked at the account before deleted. Didn't seem like a fake account. Maybe they'll be back. Okay, somewhere to find us. Someone DM me a fake ending to this so I can have some pleasure. See, here's the thing, not getting enough date does not bother me. I just envision something in my head, typically the worst case scenario, but I feel in the blanks. And then if I get an update, hey, Christmas morning, but I will say, we are working on an update episode. I have a new producer. She's amazing. You'll meet her soon. Maybe familiar face for some of you, but we are going to be working on an update episode and going back and going through our thousands and thousands of stories that we've read and seeing which ones have had updates. And we'll finally find out what was in the box. Oh, my gosh. I just like, I think it's so funny that you had a love box. [LAUGHS] Didn't you have that? No. Oh, I had that for my high school, boyfriends. I wish I had one. Like, that's like fun. Oregon's got a stock of them. That's, like, developer love boxes. I didn't-- yeah, I didn't keep stuff like that. I think there is, like, my prom picture, though. That's, like, up on my dresser in Minnesota still. I have our first movie tickets. You do? Yeah. That's adorable. The nun. Of course, it had to be them, maybe. Oh, god. Brutal. But-- Part of our story, Lauren. I know. I just-- This is true. It just sounds how scary is that movie? Not bad. You should watch it tonight. It's a good one to watch for yourself. Six and a half. Oh. Yeah. Nothing. You should put it on. Seven. Is it kind of like a jump scary, creepy-looking nun? It's not great. It's good, though. It was a good move, because then you get more going to cuddle with you, so I did. It's a point. It is. It's always a point. That's how I knew he wasn't friend-zoned, because we're sitting there in this movie. And we went to the theater that had, like, the recliners. And there's no separation in the middle. You could put the arm rest up. So it's like a chase for the two of you. And we're sitting there and it's getting scary. And I'm like, covering my eyes. And all of a sudden, he puts his hand on my leg. And I'm like, oh, fuck. He doesn't want to just be friends. Lauren already knew that, though. Not by that point. Chan met you yet. Oh, yeah. I don't know what-- No, she knew from you texting. That was down the road. Time left. I didn't know. That was the first time I knew you. I don't know. I don't know the timeline of, like, how long you were seeing him before. We all went to your art house, first time we all. Yeah, you drove. It was not. You weren't a good driver. Well, you feel that way about everyone, so. That's true. Thank you, Lauren. I'm just a very good driver. She asked me if I wanted to drive today. And I was like, no, I don't like driving you. I don't want to be judged. No, you're so funny. I was like, one day we were going somewhere. I was like, do you want to drive? And you're like, anyone but you. I just have really bad car anxiety. So I just like-- I mean, shes. Yes. Yeah. And I already, like, get paranoid that people are judging my driving when they're in my seat. So you did really good that day, though. You did end up driving me. And you did great. Thank you. OK, moving along. We are still too, too, chugging along, but this next story is brought to by State Farm. Sometimes it feels like life just changes overnight. One day, you're splitting rent with roommates, the next you're signing papers for your first house, and having support from someone who understands that, like a State Farm agent, can help you feel ready for whatever's ahead. So this is coming from our slash, Am I overreacting? It's titled, Am I overreacting for being upset that my partner is sad to move out of their parents' home to move in with me and our child? Hi. Me and my partner have been doing long distance relationship for almost three years now, and we have a baby. Finally, we are moving in together in a flat around 10 minutes drive away from his family. I am moving across the city away from my parents, for us to live together, and finally have a fresh start just the three of us. I am excited, but also feeling worried for my parents as I take on a lot of household chores for them and look after our pets. So it's better sweet, I suppose. Nonetheless, I'm really happy for us to be under the same roof, and I've expressed this. My partner said, they feel sad to move out from their parents' home and said, quote, "deep inside, I don't want to move out, but on the other hand, I have to, and I'm going to. I feel offended by this. I get moving out is a big step, but I'm making the bigger sacrifice as my family will be further away." This comment made me feel like me and our baby are a burden, and living with us is merely a duty or an obligation, rather than something they desire. Please tell me if I'm overreacting, appreciate all and any advice. - I feel that it's not normal to be sad that you're moving out of anywhere, unless you're in a really bad situation. Any place I've ever moved from, even a rental place. - I cry. - Kind of like, goodbye room, goodbye living room, goodbye kitchen, you know, you have this moment, especially with your childhood home. - Yeah. - So it's sad, regardless. But, and that's not where the problem is, the problem is, but I don't want to. I mean, actions speak louder than words, the fact that they are committed to doing so, is a big thing, regardless, and I would see if this keeps coming up. As in, there's more comments prior to moving, or you move in and it's still like, I'm misliving over there, I'm misliving at home, I miss this, that's when it becomes more of a problem to me, but the emotions of moving, especially if it's a childhood home, I don't think we have that context, are, they're strong. And so you, I could see how it might lead to someone saying something like that in the moments like, but I don't want to, but we all know the right answer is we should be living together with our child. Right, I mean, that's obvious. No, they've gone through so many big, big life changes. This is like such a big life step and to feel so unsupported and just like someone feels meh about moving in with you in your child, and I completely agree. So sad, moving out of your home, moving away from your parents, I moved out of my dad's house when I was like, basically turning 30. I think I was like just about to turn 30. Yeah, I remember how excited we were. Like we were, we were ready. We were, I know we were ready, I know that, but it was still sad. Yes, exactly. So I would see how it evolves. Yeah, it's got to be a pattern. Otherwise, and if this is a one-off, then yeah, it's not great, but then it was a one-off. Yeah, if there's further comments or further references or things, then it starts to become a bigger problem where you start to consider is this right fit. But you have a child together. So you might as well see if this was just kind of a fluke. Well, I was going to say too, when I got into grad school, I was super excited when I immediately found out, but then from the time I immediately found out until my first day, I cried basically every day. I was like, I don't want to move. I don't want to go to grad school. I was just like so scared, and it's again a big change. And so I think I'll be used the word bittersweet. Her partner is using the word sad. I honestly feel like they're the same word. Like it is kind of bittersweet. It's a big change. And like leaving your family and moving out of your home is it's hard. Right, well, in the reality is, you can always go and support your parents when they need it. You need to be where you need to be. Yeah. And if you're that dissatisfied with where you live, then it becomes a relationship problem, like we've said. But the reality is like, yes, you shift over here, but that doesn't mean you don't still support your family and you don't go spend time with them or especially support them when they need. You still have that ability, but we have priorities. And by the sounds of it, they're still going to be very close to his. Yes. So the comments on this one, top comment, you already have a baby and he's dragging his feet moving in with you, girl. What? All caps. Next comment. He's having separation anxiety. He might have some issues around his parents that are not understood here. Yeah, it's rude. And you should wait for it, talk to him about it. Let him know how they made you feel, ask him what he's feeling, and let him know that you're excited to be a family. And it's hurtful that he doesn't seem to be. You deserve someone who wants to be a family with you. Find out now if this guy is that guy. You don't want to be living forever with someone who doesn't want to be there. Someone goes not overreacting. That's a stupidly insensitive thing to say about moving in through your partner and they like paraphrase, I don't want to leave my parents. Ugg. Again, like someone finally kind of responds to that and goes, it's a normal feeling. They're definitely overreacting. You're a little Ugg comment sucks. Yes, I can see things on both sides. Again, we need the context of the whole relationship. Because I always go into these things when they don't mention a bunch of relationship issues. Yeah. Oh, relationship strong and it's good. But there's this thing. Well, and it sounds like they're both coming from living with their parents. So maybe finances, that is what they were able to do. Right. Yeah, it's like it is such a big step forward for their relationship, their lives, their baby. So they really just need to get on the same page and communicate and work this out and start supporting each other maybe a little more and better. Yeah. Clearly things change. And when they do, you can trust State Farm to help you protect the people, places, and plans that matter. are most. Who doesn't love a little support? Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. This is coming from our/relationships. It is titled My Long Time Best Friend keeps messaging me from his honeymoon. I don't know how to end the friendship. I'm 25 female, long time best friend, 25 male. Will and I have been friends since pretty much forever. We literally grew up together. Our mothers are best friends, and we were raised by each other's families in this sort of semi-commun type situation. His mom is like a second mom to me, and mine is the same to him. We've both always said that we lucked out to have two sets of parents, and this huge extended family because of it. I see him as a brother. Exactly as a brother. I feel the same way about him as I do my bio-brothers. I've never had any romantic feelings for him, and it's honestly disgusting when people make jokes about that to me. I always thought it was the same for him, because that's what he told me several times over the years. We all went to the same local university and lived at home, and by all, I mean me, my siblings, Will and his siblings, to save some money, and because honestly, it's a great school. So because we stayed so close, we all met everyone's significant others, and really got to know them. I clicked with Will's college girlfriend Sarah, who he proposed to last year and married last week. I couldn't be happier for them, and to have Sarah as a sister in our weird little family, which is what makes the next part even worse, because I'm not sure how to handle this. Will messaged me on their wedding night, and told me that he had always loved me, and had hoped that I'd feel the same way too, and that he only got married to Sarah as a way to make me realize my feelings for him and fight for him. Oh my God. He had tried to provoke a reaction, and he didn't love her. He didn't want to be with her, and now he just wanted to tell me, because he would leave her for me if I wanted. I didn't know what to say, so I just signed out of everything for the night and cried, because everything about that just made me feel sick, and it was too much, just too much to process. It was like my brother was admitting incestuous feelings for me. He messaged me throughout his honeymoon, almost all of them begging me to run away with him, and a few of them were blaming me for leading him on, which still makes zero sense to me. I've never flirted with him. I act the same way around him as I do any of my siblings, literally nothing is different. He said that he'd always see me in his head as the other woman, and because of me, he had never fully been able to love Sarah, who he admits on paper is his ideal spouse. Okay. Such an asshole. I don't know what to do, because both of us stand to lose a lot, no matter how all of this goes down. I'm afraid that I'm going to lose my family because of this, and not just his side. Everyone is close, and if I'm identified as the problem, I'm afraid that I'm going to be pushed out, but maybe that's what needs to happen. I really don't know. Reddit, how the fuck do I deal with this hugely fucked up situation? I need some outside advice, and I don't have anyone in my life who doesn't know any of the people involved in this. If they think that you're the problem, and if they push you out, oh my god, those are not people that you want in your life, that would be nuts. I would genuinely be like, am I in a dream? Right. Did everyone lose their minds? Literally. Is this the quiet place and some alien invaded, like what's going on? Right. That would be insane. You're not the problem. No. Also, I know it feels like a lot, but like, hey, I love you like a brother. I don't share those feelings. I think we should go no contact for a while. I wish you the best. Yeah. I mean, that's what you're absolutely. He's the problem. And you have to distance from your second family in a way. I don't even know because I think if you went to your second mom and was like, will just confess his feelings to me. Like, I feel like, you know, like, I feel like she'd be like, what? Well, the bigger thing you guys shared about them. What? The bigger issue in all of this is that what he's doing to pour Sarah to use her as a pawn in his game and his sick little game for someone who has said, she just doesn't have feelings for him. It's like, how are you going to do that to this poor girl? That's so mean. Well, because it was taken that far, that's why I don't think even with a lifetime of no contact. I don't think the feelings are going to change. No, it seems like an obsession, like a really unhealthy obsession. That's why I'm saying I think the no contact has to go beyond him. Unfortunate. Like, terrible. It's one of these things we always talk about where you end up in a situation. You did nothing to cause it, but you need to deal with all this bullshit and it drastically affects your life. But you're going to, for your own sanity, you're going to have to figure out that balance of where the no contact has to go. It's terrible. I would talk to my mom. Like, I think if you're close with your mom, like, for me, I would go to my mom and be like, what do I do? Like, what's wrong with him? I've never led him on. Even if I've never done anything, even if she did flirt with him or whatever, like that doesn't excuse anything that he's doing. No, and I do think, like, to your point, what he's doing is Sarah is horrible. You got engaged. Yeah. Maybe you getting engaged would have flipped a switch for me. That didn't work. So you went all the way through with your wedding. Did you expect me to run down the aisle and object? Right. And then you text me on your wedding night. Yeah. You couldn't even like get through the wedding night. What did you do all this for? If that was truly your end game, do you think me being the other woman or you leaving this nice girl for me is going to is going to sell me on you? No, you're an asshole. Right. You're not a good nice person. No, it's one like confessing your feelings isn't wrong. It's the timing in which you did it. It's the it's the way in which you how long you waited to do it. Because if this was written from his perspective and we were much earlier and he said, Hey, I've had these feelings for this person. I'm in a relationship. I think I'm into deep. She's kind of wanted to take next steps. Should I confess my feelings to who I who I consider my one true love? We would all say yes, you should do it. Yeah. But that's then it almost gets to the point where once you've got engaged, gotten married, it almost flips to where it's like you shouldn't confess your feelings because look what you're about to do to so many people's lives, especially the one you're with and this one who's been a sister for your whole life. I don't know. There's really no right path. There's no good way about it. I mean, I mean, the the messed up thing is that he is trying to flip it on her and be like, what? Like you've been hiding me on. Yeah, it's your fault. I have these luscious feelings. Just flashing out for him to be like, I only did this for you like to try to make you jealous. It's like it's just so so shitty. I don't imagine me in the other person. Yeah. Like holy hell. Yeah, so I just it's so shitty and like the way that he handled it. Again, like when people are truly in love and I get wanting to express that and like see if there's a shot. The way that it was handled was wild, wild. It is. It's really bad. Top comment is I think you need to send him one single message that tells him you're sorry, but your feelings are so polar opposite to his and that you do not and never have and never will have romantic feelings for him because you don't have the capacity to see him as anything but a brother. Tell him you hope that this is a strange manifestation of cold feet and encourage him to work on his relationship. After that, I'd probably go quite with him, at least for a while, keep all communications courteous but not close and do not pursue a conversation in writing or in person anytime soon. Hopefully, when you see him again, it will be as it always has been. It is very troubling though that he'd go so far with this charade that he says now, after the vows are made, that he only pursued a relationship with Sarah to get your attention. I mean, what the fuck? That's psychotic. And that he is now trying to paint you as a villain, suggesting you've messed with him by insinuating romantic interest. Just sort of puts the nail in the coffin. Given these things, I think you should seriously consider alerting your own family and possibly at least his mother to the situation. It isn't just that someone you always considered a brother has confessed romantic feelings. He is becoming manipulative of you and has been terribly irresponsible and harmful in his handling of the Sarah situation. And I do 100% all of that might drop. And that's kind of what we were saying. It's like he got engaged, wedding planned, got married. What was he expecting? And the you've led me on, that's, that's bad. That is extremely scary behavior. - He was hoping for the rom-com situation. The object, like you brought up the objection at the wedding or-- - I think there would have been signs though. - Yeah. - My guy. - No, I fully agree. I mean, signs in college, signs long even before engagement, but especially between engagement and marriage. I mean, like you said, that would have been the time. That's when, like, I mean, we hear these stories all the time. Like, that's typically when people are like, oh my God, I realized I was in love with my best friend. - Yeah, and I think engagement or a big change. - And I think that, like, if he would have approached it that way and been like, I am so sorry, but I'm sitting here about to, and I can't stop thinking about you and I'm can't stop thinking about, like, what am I doing? And I just, like, care about you so much and I don't know. And then she could be like, uh, no. And then he, that's what he needs to realize. - Okay, and I'm probably not with the right person. And I'd probably should call the wedding, even if this person doesn't want to be with me, because I clearly don't like this person enough who I'm gonna marry, like, should be somebody that's not making me, I think he's honestly got a screw loose. It sounds like it from those texts. - Yeah. - So OP does have an edit. I'm sorry I didn't include this to begin with, but I'm not thinking 100% clearly right now, and I still just feel terrible about everything. More info. Our families live in the same house and our parents share parenting duties for all children. When I called out for daddy in the middle of the night as a little girl, both dads came running, for example. Our families are so intertwined and always have been, - Honestly. - Asking me a molecule. - Yeah. - I was giving a molecule to me. - 100%. - Our families are so intertwined and always have been, and I feel like Will just handed me this huge bomb. I think there's going to be a massive fallout from this, and that breaks my heart. We're all very close and tightly knit. I keep cycling between sad, angry, and betrayed. I'm upset because I feel like he's tasking me with breaking Sarah's heart, and I hate him for that right now. I love Sarah, possibly more than he does at this point. I wonder if that's actually the real reason. I wonder if maybe this is fake. I'm just like, God, I'm like praying. Please don't be actually like trying to go for her. Please just be such a coward. You don't want to say you married the wrong person. And you're trying to, I don't know. I'm like, what other plausible excuse could there be for this? Because knowing that they grew up in the same house, knowing that it's daddy, and it's literally both dads, like they're this really blended, maybe a molecule family, that would feel incestuous. I'm like, I didn't really grasp the incestuous. It feels like my brother, but no, that is your brother. You were raised together under the same roof, right? That is your brother. You know, I just, I, it's so interesting because I have like mixed feelings on if that's weird or not. Because I do, I do think that it's her brother. She was raised to feel like that's her brother. That's how she feels. But I also think like you hear stories sometimes where people are like raised under the same household, but not related. And then they like end up like loving each other in later years. And I'm like, it depends. Yeah, it depends on how you grew up. We've talked about this so much of like, can step siblings get married? And it's like, well, when did you become step siblings? Did you grow up together? There's a lot of nuance to that. But this, they're very clearly blended for family. Brother. Did you ever watch the umbrella academy? No. Okay. So it's something like that. 'Cause they're all like superheroes and they're raised by the same dad. But like, it's like a really cold. The dad's really cold. So the siblings like really bond with each other. But they also don't have that like same type of like family dynamic. And then one of them's like is in love with one of the other ones. And it was like, they like grew up together. And they all refer to each other as like their siblings. And so it like, I just felt weird about it. That is, but then I'm like, but is it weird? They don't look anything alike. They're not related. But if you looked at each other as siblings, and then that I have a hard time with. It's a little bit odd, but I, you know, if your parents got married when you were both 18 and then you didn't really grow up together and you both went off to college and are like, wait, I like you. Okay. It's almost like he never did see her as a sibling based on I think. That's what I'm saying. Like, you know, if he was a little boy and like had a crush on her when he was a little boy, like knew that it wasn't his actual sister. And so from a young age, he'd be like, so excited to see like his crush. Like, you know what I mean? Like, I guess it just, I don't know. I don't know. They're both interesting. They're both 25. It still doesn't remove taking it so far and being just terrible. Oh yeah, no, that part stays. Yeah, but it just, yeah, it's wow. Well, let's see what we learn in the update. Oh God, yes. Oh God, yes. Holy crap has it been a stressful month. The original plan was to wait two weeks from the time I posted to deal with it with Sarah and Will, but I ended up spilling the beans to my mom around three days after the post went up. She noticed that I wasn't my usual self and pride it out of me like moms tend to be able to do. She was flabbergasted and honestly didn't believe me until I showed her the messages on my phone. She called my dad and Will's parents in to an emergency family meeting and we all talked about it. I broke down crying and I told them everything that I had told you guys and to my surprise, rallied around me in support. We all ended up crying and had a really long talk about our combined family and what this could mean for all of us. It was agreed that something somewhere went wrong because while the sibling flag was raised in my mind when it comes to Will, it wasn't with him. I didn't get into this in my original post, but Will and I were the youngest. We were born just a matter of days apart and he and I are closer than we are to any of our siblings because we always did everything together. He's my best friend, but more importantly, in my mind and my heart, he's my brother. I expressed all of that to them and they agreed that my feelings were what they were going for when they opted for a shared family. And we all felt like this was incest. That night we started researching local therapists who deal with situations like this and the next day we chose one for me to go to because honestly, it was traumatic and I had a lot of feelings that I just didn't know how to cope with. I'm still in therapy and it's going pretty well. I'm dealing with a lot of shit and starting to feel better. We decided to keep this between the parents and I until Will and Sarah got back from their honeymoon. The night they got back, we had a huge family dinner with her family there too. - Oh shit. - None of us, parents and I were excited about it, but we couldn't cancel because it had been set in stone as the only time it would work for everyone for a longish period of time. - It's still cancel, I would cancel. - I spent that night trying to keep my distance from Will because honestly, I couldn't handle being around him. He thought this was odd and ended up cornering me outside in the garden. He asked me what was up? Why was I acting so weirdly? Okay, what a weirdo. - Were you Ben Dog? - I told him that he knows why and I tried to walk away. He grabbed my arm and tried to pull me back towards him but I resisted. I ended up breaking down and telling him that I would never and could never feel the same way about him that he felt about me. I saw a look of genuine confusion. - It was her and my heart and my stomach sunk. - You guys wrote the text? - I was not kidding, whenever you started saying this, I was like, what if it was her? - I, it didn't cross my mind. Or what if he's just plain that it was her so that he can pretend it's never happened 'cause he's embarrassed. Look, tell us everything. - Need to know. - Opie goes on to say, he had no idea what I was talking about. Those of you who guessed that it was Sarah all along were actually correct. His phone went missing during their trip and he hadn't cared because he was excited to be on his destination honeymoon. - Oh shit. - I told him everything. He threw up in the koi pond. (laughing) - And we all was engaged. - For what felt like forever. I broke down crying again because my knee jerk reaction had been a cut him out of my life and through sobs, I was able to get that out. He comforted me and told me that he understood because almost anyone whose friend and brother decided to hit on them would probably feel similarly. He said that he would never hold my hurt reaction against me. We've been friends and family for a long time. We just sat there for a while because neither of us knew what to do because come on, this situation is fucked. - Dude. - Eventually our moms came out and flipped out when they saw us together and like amazing moms sprung to my defense. (laughing) We got them to calm down and explained everything that it had been Sarah and Will's mom lost her cool. She went into the. house and ended up apparently tearing Sarah a new one. I don't know all of what was said because I remained outside with Will trying to calm down from everything. Fast forwarding a bit, Will decided to divorce Sarah. It came out that she had always been jealous when it came to me and absolutely hated me. Her goal had been to either get me to admit feelings to Will so that he'd cut me out or to get me to cut him out. It also came out that she had never been faithful to Will and had regularly cheated on him throughout their relationship. So honestly he dodged a bullet, albeit a bit too late. Will has moved back in and we are both looking at finding a place together as roommates and he's gotten into therapy as well to deal with everything on his end. So in the end, my world didn't collapse and my bond with my best friend and quasi-brother only deepened, but he ended up heartbroken. I'm so angry at Sarah for putting us all through that when really she should have and could have expressed her feelings to me and we could have probably addressed things, but then again she was still a cheater. I don't even know what to think. So I guess it's a happy update. Question mark. Yeah. 100%. Definitely, but also really messed up. Sarah was defending you. Yeah, I was thinking that. So Sarah was hoping that she would go no contact by the time they got back basically. Yeah. Or I think if OP would have been like, "Yeah, Will, I have feelings for you." Oh, no, no. I get that. And then she'd delete the other message and be like, "What that's inappropriate? You need to cut her out." No, I get that, but I'm saying on the way it went, then you're going to, I mean, imagine, I know she's the villain in the story. Imagine coming into that dinner though. Yeah, I know, right? When she'd be like, they can't interact. They can't interact. They can't interact. Like, you've already set the groundwork. Right. I'm just thinking as a criminal right now, basically. Well, you don't think they're going to talk? Exactly. When she'd be like trying to keep them set, like, I don't know that moment though that he shows that confused look. Oh, you guys, it did. I had no idea this was coming. That was crazy. This is coming from our friend, direct caterpillar. Yeah. I read the title. Of course. I trusted him. Yeah. Uh-huh. I literally have been emailing him today. I was so excited. He's going to come on. I, this was a great one. This is a great twist. This rocked me. And I get why you guys like updates. We all love an update. But you know, we got a, we got to have a good variety. More in here. I'll just make it up myself. No, I need to know. No. I do like it. But unfortunately, like, not every story gets an update. This story is coming from February 25th, 2016. Oh, what? It is very, very old to know what they're up to now. Yeah. We don't have an update. The last comment we have is from 10 years ago in the process of getting divorced. But okay, in reference to how is will doing. And I think people were asking, like, why did he throw up? And O.P. was like, because people have visceral reactions to things that discuss them. His world was also just turned upside down. Like the person that he thought that he was in love with and going to spend the rest of his life with now everything has changed in that moment. So outside of just being, like, grossed out by the fact, like the idea of. Oh my gosh. His sister thinking that he was in love with her. Then there's also just the world being too much to handle. Yeah. I know. I crash out. Yeah. I crash out. Can you imagine, though, those two weeks for O.P. thinking like, oh my God, my brother's in love with me. No, I know that's what. And then the whole family together the night before. Dude, I the family meeting. I would be not there. I would not have been able to sit through that dinner. I would have found any excuse for me to be gone. So totally. Kudos to O.P. Which is what she would have wanted. That was the whole strategy. Literally. And then they never would have talked. Yeah. Because the family wasn't going to confront him. Yeah. They weren't going to not there in front of the dinner and her family. Then it would have come out, right? It would have come out of actually. Yeah. So it's just. I don't understand her endgame. Like, I'm very like, I get you, I get what you were trying to do. But didn't you think the other five to 10 steps ahead of how this was potentially going to play out. I think that she was convinced she was going to get a confession. Yes. And which is why she kept hounding her. That's right. Because she wanted to get a confession. And since she kept digging herself deeper because she was like, shit, I need to get a confession. Otherwise, yeah, this might happen. Right. And now my only hope is that she just disappears and doesn't say anything because she feels the how O.P. originally said she was feeling. Yeah. I know. Do I need to leave my family? Like, right. And it's true scared to tell the rest of the family because she doesn't want to break up the whole dining. Right. Yeah. So that that's probably was her last, like, hope. But she probably knew that she was kind of screwed. Damn. Wow. This one's like up there, guys. This is like top 10. This next one might rock you guys a little more. Okay. Our next story comes from our slash relationship advice. It is titled my fiance wants me to get circumcised before our wedding. So you can show it off. Well, it's like what's the point? I don't I don't understand. Like you're not going to it's not like at weddings. You go around like, all right, everyone, drop them. Let's see wedding. Like most people lose weight for their wedding to look good for their photos. Are they do XYZ? But this one is like, she wanted him to lose a little bit of weight. Ah, you too. Okay. I feel like Justin didn't get that. Oh, I understood. I was going to let it sit out there. Okay. We met in the summer of 2018 and got engaged last year. Although our relationship is pretty solid, she can be very hotheaded. For example, she gets upset when things don't go her way and takes it as a personal insult. It's definitely a princess syndrome that can be difficult to deal with, but it's never caused serious issues. A couple of months ago, she told me that I will get circumcised before our wedding later this year. I said no. And she straight up told me that quote, it's not a choice. Actually, it is. So there's that friendly reminder. We argued for a bit. And she said that I wouldn't be attracted to her if she had an Audi vagina with extra skin hanging her words, not mine. Damn. Wow. I told her that it's not really the same thing at all. And that I would be attracted to her regardless. However, she got very irritated and ignored me for the rest of the evening. She has not stopped talking about this since that day. Every day she sends me articles talking about the benefits of circumcision that is totally healthy and safe. She's a freak. Leave her immediately. I hate her so much. And why I should do it. She says that civilized men get circumcised and that we're not like those Europeans. The thing is she's mixed race, half French and grew up in France. So I don't understand her thought process here. Her ex was French, but she repeatedly said that she dislikes French people and wants me to be better than that. According to her, that includes getting a circumcision. Yesterday she brought it up again. And I said that she has no right to tell me what to do with my body. She yelled that she spends a lot of time and effort on her appearance and isn't asking for much in return. While it's true, she spends a lot of money on beauty hair, facial treatments around 800 a month. I don't think you can compare that to a circumcision. No, she got very upset calling me selfish and heartless and basically told me to fuck off. Normally, when we argue, she doesn't get that heated, but I could hardly tolerate her attitude yesterday. Later that evening, we had sex. Yes, I'm stupid. Wow. Gross. And in the middle of it, she brought up that topic again. It felt very manipulative. And when I told her that this is not the right time, she accused me of not loving her and actually started crying. Since she rarely cries, this didn't seem genuine. She got up and told me that we will get this done either way and that I shouldn't let such a small issue ruin what we have. Hmm. Look at the mirror, bitch. To be honest, that sounded ominous and I don't even know what to think of it. Is this something that we can work out at all throughout our entire relationship? She never complained about my uncircumcised penis. And now it's such a big deal to her. It's giving me anxiety about our future. And I don't even know what to do. We've had so many discussions about it and it always ends the same way. There's no future here. There's one immediately. One easy question. Is this someone you want to raise kids with? And I get some people are child free. But I think that's a good qualifying question to a long-term partner. Is this someone I want to raise children with? Do I trust this person to raise children with? Would you? - I'm just with a fixation on something like this and it's like, you're gonna do it. - No, I'm genuinely terrified of her in general. - The fact that she's body shaming other woman too, like what an actual bitch I hate her. Like what? - Every vagina looks different. Also, if the rolls were reversed and your partner were saying you, you need to get labiaplasty and cut your vagina lips off, so you can look like an 18 year old. The way I want you to look, just like the entire topic of trying to tell someone to change that part of them is like, no. That you don't do that. Let everyone, come on, don't do that. - Especially because it's like, it's sort of like get a boob job or I won't marry you. It's you're holding it over. - Honestly, I feel like we will get this done. - They're both really wrong, but I almost feel like a circumcision is either worse than a big job. - Oh, I mean, it's like any surgery, any- - It's volatile to like demand that on someone. - Yes. - All of it's bad. - But it's a wee, wee. - No, and that, we will get this done. - That's what really messed me up. Her saying, we will get this done either way. - Either way of what? - Are you gonna like chloroform me and make me pass out and drag me to a clinic? Like what? - Yeah, I think it's like really like for an adult. It's like, like is not a pretty healing process. This attitude over anything would be concerning, but over this is just like, I don't know, she makes me so mad, I don't even have words anymore. - I mean, like you can have your preference, but don't project it on me. Go find someone that has what you want. - Yeah, exactly. - It's not wrong to want what you want, but you can't go force someone to be exactly what you want. - Yeah. - Go find someone that is. - Also, what if like they're just genuinely not sexually compatible, and she thinks this is gonna fix that, say he were to do it, and then your sex still doesn't get better. Are you kidding me? Just find someone else. You're clearly test driving the car before you're driving it off the lot, and find it for yourself. - And how long until it starts to be an insecurity for him after you have someone who's like your life partner telling you constantly that it's a defect on you. - True. - And she's literally saying she's not attracted to you because of it. No, that's, how did they get to the point that they're getting married, like, and that's what the comments start getting into. Top comment, this relationship sounds hellish. I can't imagine wanting to stay with someone who makes such demands, and who cries during sex in an attempt to influence me. - Manipulate. - What are you doing? - Yeah. - OP responds, I'll be honest. I don't know. Yeah, get the fuck out. Someone else says, wow, this girl sounds absolutely awful. It's bad enough to try and pressure your partner to change their appearance in small ways, but she's trying to force you to get an unnecessary procedure on your dick, and harping on it. Her tears were 100% manipulation. You need to tell her that you're absolutely not altering your body for her ridiculous preference. And if a bother's heard that much, you will leave. And you should. This is a woman that doesn't respect your bodily autonomy, and therefore it doesn't respect you as a person. I honestly don't think this relationship will last. And if you stay with her or God forbid, go through with this, you're setting yourself and potential future children up for a lifetime of emotional abuse and being controlled. - Yep. - I have to add to that I find it pretty strange. She's been presumably fucking you for quite some time now, and is just insisting you get circumcised now that you're going to be married. - That's so weird. - O.P. response, that's what I don't understand. When we first had sex, she didn't even comment on it. This came out of nowhere, and I don't understand why she didn't bring it up earlier. She needed to get him locked in before she started editing him. - It's like she hadn't experienced with someone else. She cheated, and then she decided she liked it more. - I literally was like, even think of that. - It's such a fixation out of nowhere, and it's like, if I'm going to be married to you, you got to be exactly what I want to have. - I was wondering if she cheated. What is cheating? And that didn't even cross my mind for some reason, but that would be a good point. - Yeah, so someone responds to that though, like, "Why shouldn't bring it up earlier?" O.P.s comment, and someone goes, "Did you ask her why she suddenly feels this way?" I mean, I don't think the answers will change what I think about her, or that this won't last, but I'm genuinely curious. O.P. responds, "I asked her, but she won't give me a reason." She just says that it's her preference, and that she discussed it with her friend. - Oh, great. - Her friend that she sleeps with. (both laugh) - What? That's all we got? - That's all we got? That's the end? - You're lying to me. - I know you're lying, FaZe. - Yes, we do get enough data. - I don't know where to start, but I'd like to say thank you to everyone on here first. I've received countless private messages, all pretty much saying the same thing, yet I still wanted to work things out and marry her. Then, a few days after my post, we had a huge fight. She threatened me. I won't give too many details, but it was more than enough to give me a wake-up call, and that's when I finally realized that this relationship isn't healthy or normal. I had those thoughts before, but her action that day confirmed it. Right now, I'm in the process of completely removing her from my life. That incident had a significant impact on my mental health. And at this point, I just need a long break. I've spoken to her parents in private, and they're almost begging me to rethink the whole situation. I won't. I still love her, but couldn't do this anymore. It's a shock to the system. I went from planning my future with her to actively cutting off everything that connects us. I read through all the comments again after the incident, and they put things in a perspective. Thank you again for all of the advice and private messages. - Oh, thank God, God bless. I just, this story really pissed me off, because it's just such a delicate thing for people and for that to be the hill that you die on, like, shaming somebody about that part of them is just find a different partner if you don't like that. Like, don't try to change that. It's just like, it's just, it's rough. And I intimate body part, I know. And I'm even worried about the listeners here, like getting insecurities based off of this girl's opinion. Like, I'm like, it's so mean. It's so mean. It's weird, it's weird. And this is like, I feel like not a lot of countries do circumcise their kids. Like, is there a decision that's seen wrong with it? - No. - It's literally more normal. - It's so fucking normal. - No, it's the most normal. It's like literally is your design. - Yeah. - It's the most normal. - Yeah. - No, but I do just think like, if anyone's gonna pressure you or make you feel bad about your body, you're not with the right person. Like, you're just not. Like, your bodies aren't meant to be. They're not meant to be. They're just not right. And so hearing this and it's just like, oh, God, it's just, it's, it's, I have no words. I feel like I'm you in the episode that came out this week where you just sat there and you're like, and people literally the comments have been so funny on it. People are like, I literally had to go and make sure my phone didn't disconnect from my car or that the video paused. - I know. - So like, I assume that you'll edit that out and just make it like, it was so good though. It was so good. I got to edit back from Jenna because Jenna will edit it first and then I do like another pass. - Jenna took it out and you put it back in. - No, she didn't. - Okay, and she thought it was so funny. She was laughing. I was dying again when I watched that. Because your face just says so much and that's how I feel right now. I'm like, I don't have words. It's just such depraved, disrespectful, horrific behavior from someone and you don't deserve that. Like love is respect and that is not respect. - No, that's what I'm hoping OP will gain from this is not to have to go all the way. I mean, the first sentence of that update was scary. I was still planning on going forward and getting married despite everything we had heard in the original post. - I know. - And what I'm hoping for OP is that, okay, you can see from this that based on all the comments and just the experience, everyone already knew where we were headed. But for you, it took, and I get it's harder when you're in it. But it took even another step further of something, even that much worse happening for then you to realize and be like, oh shit, okay, this isn't good for me. So I'm hoping for OP that this has major radar stronger to this type of thing so you can not have to go so far down and experience such bad shit to realize someone isn't good for you. And you know, the good thing is that once you go through something like this, you will have that naturally. You'll know the second someone feels a little bit like that and all your flags will go up and be like, nope, not going on that rabbit hole. But you'll also know when someone is the opposite of that And you'll be able to quickly know. know, oh, wow, this is so much better than what I was dealing with before. And then it's the classic, I can't believe I say that so long. But again, easier said, looking back 2020 and much easier said from an outsider looking in. But, you know, you just hope someone, it allows for someone to grow and just be able to have better experiences because you get rid of the bad ones quicker. Yeah, I mean his radar is going to be more in tune. Hopefully she will now get maybe some help that she needs. I hope so. And he can just move on and find his person. But wow, I also loved Morgan that you go, I have no words. And then you like win and like dropped three big words and then like ended with like a like poetry. I was like, you found the words bitch. You found the words. Yeah. Yeah. No. And I just, I just want to plug this quiz again because I've shared it on two outtakes in the past. I've shared it on father knows. I've shared it on clues because we do have, you know, so many of you out there listening where sometimes it's one of these stories that makes you realize like, Oh, like wow, maybe maybe I'm not in the right relationship, not in the right or maybe oh God, that feels like that's hitting a little too close to home. And there's a website. It's called love is respect dot org. They have a quiz on there. That basically you just answer very general questions about your relationship and it gets to the end and it tells you like, Hey, maybe you're not a healthy relationship. The website also has safety features built into it. So if you hit escape twice, it just goes to Google. And if you hit back, it doesn't go anywhere. Like it's cool. It's meant for people that need it. Yeah. And so I've shared this now a couple times on, you know, all the shows. And I actually have gotten multiple messages now from listeners that have used that quiz as a way to have a conversation with their friend because what they've said in the past hasn't worked. It's made their friend not share or it's made their friend not feel like the relationship is safe to share or that their friend isn't going to judge them. And so multiple listeners have reached on said, I sent it to my friend. She's now getting out. And so just like it's so, it's so amazing. Like what this show can do in terms of like helping people realize you do deserve love and a healthy relationship and respect. So I'll post that quiz again in the description. And I took it like I literally took it just to like see. I'm like, I think I'm good, but let me see. She is. She did a zoom in on Justin's face right now. I just think everyone should take it. Like I do think it's a good barometer of like, let me just be sure you could take it too. You got to make sure guys. I mean, shit, you never know. You never know though. You do. Like I think that's like it's so easy to slip in at like toxic patterns. And it's like, it's not that bad or that's one time. Because it's, it, um, it's normal. You start to think it's normal. It's it's each like little thing. And then and you're like, it's not that bad. But if they were to do this on the first day, you would be like, oh, yeah. But it's like, it's, there's this goal post that gets pushed. And you're now married. And it's not that easy to unwind your lives. And we've got kids. And I really don't want to separate and give up 50% of time with my kids. And so there's so much context and nuance. And you know, life is messy and big. And, you know, not everything's black and white. It is oftentimes really great. When you need to address things as they are in recent times, we're not staying together married because we've been married for 25 years. We're not going to continue our friendship just because we've been friends for 10 years. We need to look at how the relationship is now. Yeah. We don't make decisions based on the past. Make decisions based on now. Yeah. That's all I got. You know, a lot of updates this one. You know, that's why I do also like not having so many updates on an episode because then we get to the last stars. But this was really good. Crazy, chug chug, train, mess, hot mess. I, um, I did want to say though, like when we did the live shows and we would do meet and greets, that was the thing that we had a lot is that people who came up to us and they shared their stories that they were in the worst relationship of their life. They listened to the show. They decided they got the courage to leave. And then they found the love of their life. Literally, there was one woman forgetting what city it was. Please comment if you're comfortable of course. But she was like, I left. I got out because of the show. And now I'm sitting front row with my new boyfriend. And like, and I've never been happier and he treats me so well. And I didn't know that this was even possible. Like it is, it's so beautiful to get those stories. I think that is one of the best things about this show is, is people realizing that they deserve better. Yeah. I'm oftentimes really awestruck in how the show reaches people. Don't make me cry. It's just, it's such a gift and I'm so thankful for everyone listening. No, I honestly, the last episode that we had, I asked for dental advice and the amount of people that I've reached out to me, like even like outside of the Reddit people have come and found my Instagram and reached out to me. And it's like, it makes me feel so close to you guys. And it makes us feel so real and it makes me so grateful. This is our village. Yeah. And it's just like the fact that like, there's the support and people who are willing to reach out and give advice or share their stories about their undeniable. Yeah. It's just so, it means so much to me. So I just really, really, really grateful for you guys. I love our little hottie community. Our hotties out there. Speed of live shows. We do have one coming up now. Oh my god. When I reposted, everyone thought that we were going on tour. They were like so upset. I know we're going to get there. Next year is two or a year again. We're going to get back out there. I see you. I see where you want us to come. But, you know, if you haven't told us yet, please drop it in the comments. I see Canada. I know I was going to say it like I don't want us there. Ohio. A lot of Florida. Can we go to Canada? I want to go to Canada. Okay. I don't know if there was like a weird like tax thing. There is might be a pro bono show. But can you say pro bono for this scenario? I don't know. Well, because like, I liked it though. I liked it, but I'm like, doesn't actually fit because I don't know. Yeah. You just donated to a Canadian charity instead. Musicians tour all over the world. You just have an accountant. We're baby. We're baby. We're baby. We're baby. You know, we're not selling out stadiums yet. Or maybe we're still just a little tight-knit family over your guys. But I still feel like babies do tours around the world, don't they? Yes, there's lots of baby tours. Boss, baby on tour. God, there is a baby in my apartment complex that I swear to God is boss, baby. He is up to something. He should introduce him to Michaela. It's her favorite movie. Oh, my God. And then literally one of the listeners was like, thank you, Michaela smiling deviously. Did he wear sunglasses? That would be that would be crazy. Someone, one of the listeners though, I think like her dad wrote boss, baby. That's something. They reached out to Michaela or they commented to Michaela so I because I remember her talking to me about it. But oh, I love that. Yeah, we're going, we're doing a live show in Irvine November 15th for for you fast. So I'll put the link for that in the description too in case you guys want to come and see us. We might also have a very special guest along with us. Am I special too? You're the most special. The most. I love you guys. I love you guys. But until next time. Until next time. Until next time. Ciao, ciao. Ciao, ciao, ciao, ciao. Bye. Bye. One chug for the road. One chug. Just one chug. Ciao, ciao, ciao, ciao, ciao. That was so good. Woo! , yeah.