Horrifying Viewer Confessions

Hey what's up guys and welcome back to the channel and today we're getting into some horrifying viewer confessions and oh boy do you guys have some unhinged disturbing and like the title says horrifying things to confess to because yeah today's confessions that we're reading from you guys are dark and very very disturbing so you'll want to make sure to stick around and also make sure you like the video and subscribe to the channel the channel subscriber goal is 1 million subscribers before the end of the year and I really think we can do it so please subscribe I would love for you to join the community and also if you would like to see your confession and get something off your chest and see your confession in a future video please send it to the email on screen now thank you and um yeah I would really like to continue this series I thought it was fun to involve you guys into this into the videos and that sort of stuff and so I think this could be really fun so make sure to comment down below and let me know your thoughts but um yeah anyways yeah make sure you buckle up because today's confessions are very dark and very heavy and very disturbing so sit back relax grab a drink and grab a snack and get cozy because today we're getting into some horrifying viewer confessions I violated a child and it broke me and the word the emailer used or the viewer used was not violated but um I think you know uh yeah it's it's just it's just gross um and disgusting but I just had to replace that word for you know YouTube reasons but um anyways let's get into it I would like to start this off by giving some background info about my circumstances as a minor I was SA'd while I was at a foster home I was separated from my mother because of the brutal beatings she made me endure and an older teen in the foster home made me perform um intimacy on him while other kids watched I was very young I didn't understand what I was doing this incident made me develop as a very intimately driven kid I endangered myself and pushed myself on others but I wasn't even sneaky about it I got into trouble over it and I still didn't understand why it was wrong the adults in my life failed me by not explaining anything to me because I am from a relatively small town I grew up as a very lonely and troubled teen people were afraid of me both because of my former intimate incidents and because of some rather violent outbursts I had as a result of being raised worse than a effing animal to this day I am still isolated from the people around me my situation living with my mother never got better either eventually she grew old and weak and I grew to be a strong teen so things kind of turned around I guess so I was very violent to her we fought often it got bad enough for me to be taken away into a foster home at as a 17 year old something that's honestly unheard of nowadays in my country I didn't really adapt well to suddenly be in a safe space though there were younger teens around and some kids and I had a routine to follow and activities to do and it was also new to me it was the first time I felt I had any stability in my life I was very chaotic and struggled to stay put I got in some rowdy fights with some of the other girls but it wasn't anything too bad but then the incident happened me and some of the girls were playing around in the room when I got turned on in a rather embarrassing way that I don't want to describe all you need to know is that things escalated and all of a sudden the girls were doing something intimate to me keep in mind these girls were very young while I was 17. I should have put a stop to it right then and there but in the heat of the moment it just didn't cross my mind that this was wrong but the worst part was when one of the kids in the foster home walked in on us and just started being so casual about it there wasn't like a big tonal shift in the room the girls were still chill with me and things kind of just flowed I guess and then the OP outlines some genuinely disgusting text which I'm not even gonna begin to try to uh summarize or even say but he just continues being intimate with these very young minors and the OP says or the viewer says the kid then walked off and talked about what happened with some of the people in charge we were all in trouble but I was the oldest and the most involved one so I took the majority of the blame for what happened they had me sent back to my mother's home the next morning they threatened legal action but I don't think it will get very far given how slow things move in this country if the law ends up catching up to me I will probably just commit s-word in jail I don't think I can handle it I tried so hard to move on from this but I will never be able to forget that I perpetuated the cycle of abuse and ruined that minor's life in the same way my life was ruined I never forgive myself I tried so hard to cope with what happened I ended up frequenting some sketchy sites and communities full of people that sort of just were okay with what happened not the greatest company to have around I have long since left those communities behind but honestly I am severely understating the impact they had on me in case anyone wants to do their own research I'm speaking about the and I'm absolutely not going to mention that the viewer then mentions the exact name of the community which I will obviously not add but the viewer continues and says it's an entire can of worms I will not be opening today some of the people in those communities offered me illegal content involving minors I wish I could say I resisted but I was so far gone down the rabbit hole I spent two weeks watching those videos I felt awful words every single time I was starting to get desensitized to it by the time I quit it in a panic I deleted everything I had saved and blocked everyone I knew and started over on the internet I had to start over many times so I could have a clean digital footprint again I left behind so many accounts I had so many memories of who I used to be before the incident to this day I still struggle with the predator thoughts I stay away from minors I only message adults on the internet I try to stay away from adult videos in general too I wish I could stop feeling attracted to minors but I just can't change it no matter how hard I try the best I can do is to repress it to try to ignore it it burns my soul and conscience from the inside I hate it and myself I'm trying to live a normal life but it's so hard I can't find a job and I'm living off of my disability payments that aren't good enough for anything meaningful I have a girlfriend now she is from a neighboring country and we plan to move in together as soon as we can I want to just leave behind this place my hometown and never look back I will always feel remorse but at least I will find some amount of peace if I'm able to live a normal life with her I understand if you decide not to share this confession on the channel because of how heavy it is you have every right to hate me for it you have every right to judge me and believe I'm disgusting because that's what I am I am a predator and a coward and I don't deserve the second chance at life I'm trying so hard to achieve but I just had to write this out I just had to confess it I can't keep this to myself any longer it hurts so much to keep it on side I'm sorry for being this way and um this is just one of the most disturbing and disgusting and um just shocking confessions I've ever received from a viewer um and I just have to be completely honest I am not a mental health professional in any sort of way and so all I can say right now is to the person who wrote this please reach out to a psychologist or a psychiatrist as soon as you can there are professionals who specialize in this sort of stuff and please reach out to a professional as soon as you can and do not try to continue to do this by yourself stop trying to handle you know your own thoughts by yourself or suppressing it by yourself please reach out to a professional that can help you out with this and navigate this because this is horrifying and you've already committed crimes you outlined that you watched the legal content involving minors and you already violated a minor. And so like, you could already end up in jail, but before, like, just reach out to a psychiatrist or psychologist and they will help you. So you don't do anything more because you've already committed multiple horrific and disgusting crimes. And so reach out to a psychologist as soon as you can. That's all I have to say. Um, but damn, this is just gross. I want to kill my brother. Hi Snook. I love your videos and they keep me entertained and thinking while I operate my machine at work or if I'm trying to beat my insomnia and get some sleep. I would really appreciate if you took a look at my Reddit post here. I won't retype and paste this whole thing in the email because I've already gone ahead and made the post. I figure I would just link it to you. I would love to hear any of your thoughts or advice for me moving ahead. You always have a lot on your mind, and I have felt very alone on the other side of what I hope you'll read here in the post. Please keep me anonymous if this ends up in one of your videos, but even if it doesn't end up in a video, it would mean a lot if you read it. I hope to gain a little bit of support or positivity in this difficult time of my life. And now let's get into this viewer's post, which is titled, I want to kill my brother. Hi. Firstly, I will apologize for the formatting and grammar here. I am writing this during my work break on mobile, so it'll probably be a bit jumbled. To start this off, you will all need some background. I, 22 male, am the middle child. For sake of identity, I will keep my younger two siblings' ages under wraps. But my older sister, 23 female, and my older brother, 23 male, will be the subject of this story. For further reference, my eldest brother is the only one I share blood with, half-brother paternally. And the rest of my siblings are step, yet I love them like they're my blood. I came into having step-siblings when I was 6 years old, and instantly my two sisters became my best friends. We were inseparable. We played games, watched movies, played outside, drew and wrote things together. We did everything that friends could do together. And I cherished it. When I was at my dad's house before he married my stepmom, it was only me and my big brother. My dad had to work a lot as a single father to two boys with different moms, so he was away a lot, which I do not blame him for. This is just important to understanding the relationship between me and my big brother. I don't want to have anything to do with him. It was just us two against the world when I was a young boy. He beat on me and teased me as an older brother does, but I never hated it. I could always justify it as brotherly love, but something did always feel wrong about it. So when I met my sisters, I was over the moon having two best friends that didn't treat me like that. They just loved me. We all moved in together when I was seven, and it was a dream come true. It stayed this way for years until we all started drifting apart when I was about 11 years old. I never knew exactly why this was, so I always just chalked it up to age and growing apart. Well, last year, around my 21st birthday, I really got to missing that connection. My girlfriend had broken up with me, and I really missed having time with my sisters. So I invited my big sister down to hang out. To my surprise, she was very excited. The night comes, and there she is, right on time and ready to hang out with me. My best friend and my best friend's girlfriend. It was amazing. I had never been to a bar before, that minus one very short stop, and I was super happy to be sharing that memory with her. But something still just felt off. There was this intangible distance or weirdness between us, which I couldn't put a finger on. So I try to bring up a topic we can connect to. My niece. My big brother had just fathered my niece about a year earlier, and we all love that baby to death. She's an angel. So I said something along the lines of, I know my big brother is an idiot, but I just hope he's a good dad. I think he's a good guy. I say this because my brother is outwardly kind of an a-hole. He is in one of the branches of service, not stating for anonymity, and he has the typical racism that's shared with team guys. My sister says, I don't think he is. This does not strike me as weird in the moment. I understand why she would think that, but I wanted to know why. So I asked. She said, I don't know if I should tell you. This rubbed me wrong. Not in an angry way, but in an instant anxiety way. I tell her that anything she says will be safe with me, and that I will never judge her. She takes a deep breath, seemingly eased by me supporting her, and tells me that my brother R-worded her when we were children. I don't know if I should tell you, but I don't know if I should tell you, but I don't know if I should tell you, but I don't know if I should tell you. Instantly, the biggest pit in my stomach formed. All of the life drained from me. But at the same time, I was not shocked in some awful way. It was almost like confirmation of my suspicions that my brother is a bad man. I cried. She cried. But of course, I supported her and made it clear that my sisters are the most important people. people in my life. The rest of the night went on and I personally felt much better in a way, and I could tell that she did too. Like, putting that atrocity out there for both of us to acknowledge explained everything to me, because it happened when I was 11 years old exactly, when we began to drift apart. The night ends as normally as it could, but some of what I learned has really bothered me aside from the obvious. The whole family knew other than me and my younger siblings, including my biological mom, who is obviously not with my father anymore. Apparently, I knew as a child and I cannot remember any of it. I don't remember my brother not living with us for months. I don't remember talking to CPS. Nothing. Following this conversation with my sister, I told my parents that she told me, and they invited both of us out to food to speak about everything. This was a weird idea, in my opinion, to address it in a public location, but nonetheless, their intentions were good. They handled the entire conversation pretty gracefully, but I still felt no different. They asked me if I was mad that they had not told me earlier, and I said no. I told them that I would have killed them if I knew. We lived in the same house. I knew where we kept the guns, and I would not have been able to sleep in the same house as that kind of evil. They also said that he had an awful childhood at his mom's. He was abused and whatnot, but this is no excuse to me. I was assaulted at a church camp as a child, and I have never done anything like that in my life. They do not know this. It is a cycle which you have to break. I don't know if that's it, but I don't know if it's a cycle. I don't know if it's a immature or uneducated to think, but in my eyes, this is the truest evil a human can commit, and knowing I share half of my blood with him is sickening. Knowing that I have half of the same blood, and that I too have gone through trauma and turned out so differently, just invalidates any of the acceptance I would have had for someone like this. Now, everything feels strange. My big sister told my little siblings, and it has rekindled my little sister and I's relationship, which is a major silver lining of this whole thing, but I am gutted. I wish my brother would die and make it all easier on us. I wish that I knew what to do in this situation, how to move forward or feel like a normal person again. I've always had anxiety and general depression, but this had made me feel like nothing ever has before. I am angry. My insomnia is worse than it's ever been, and I feel like that most things just don't matter anymore. I've quit smoking and quit all nicotine in attempts to be the best me I can be on the other side of all of this, so that's another silver lining. But I guess I'm just here to get this off my chest, and to ask, what should I do? I need therapy, I know, but I'm on my own insurance, and there's nothing I can do. I don't know what to do with my life. I don't know what to do. And I don't want our family to be the ones known for a brother murdering a brother for being a R-wordist. My mother is the one who truly raised me. And she always taught me that the women in your life are most important. And I feel as if I failed my sister. I feel lost and alone, so if anyone out there can relate, I'm sorry if you relate to this. Or if you have any advice for me, I would really appreciate it. I am sorry for the long post. I will answer questions here, but I will say I'm not on Reddit much at all, so I'm sorry if it isn't the quickest response. I'm also sorry if I left anything out. This has my head racing, and has for the past year. If you've read this all, thank you. I appreciate it. And now let's get into some of the top comments on this viewer's Reddit post. And one commenter says, I just want to say one thing, because I know how easy it is to think this way. You didn't fail your sister. You were a kid. Even if you had known back then, none of that should have ever been on your shoulders. I also. I also agree with what you said about your brother. What happened to him is horrible, but it does not excuse what he did. A lot of us have been through awful things, and never turned around and did that to someone else. It's a choice to break that cycle. And a lot of people do. The fact that your sister trusted you enough to tell you, says a lot. You believed her right away, and were there for her. That's huge. I don't blame you for feeling angry either. If I found out someone I loved did something like that, I'd probably be just as messed up over it. Just don't let him take any more from you or your family than he already has. I really hope you get the chance to talk to someone about all this. You're dealing with your own trauma, and now you've had your whole view of your brother shattered too. That's a heavy thing to carry. I genuinely wish the best for you and your sisters. None of you deserve this. None of you deserved any of this. And the OP responds and says, I really appreciate this kind comment. I hope you do well in the future too. I'm sorry you can relate to this in any way. I'm getting into therapy at some point too. Just need to figure that all out for me personally. These tiny little internet interactions help for some reason. Even if it's just a tiny bit. Or if it's trivial in some manner. Thank you for taking the time to read what I've written, and write this out yourself. And I'll give my thoughts on this. I just have to say, you know, I've already said it before in this video, but I'm not a mental health professional. But I just have to say that I'm proud of you for being able to handle this as well as you have already. I mean, the information that you had dumped on you on a random, you know, lunch with your sister, was. Traumatizing for anybody. I mean, to learn that your brother did that and to learn that that happened to your sister is horrifying and horrible and disgusting. But I just commend you for already working in the right direction. Quitting nicotine. Rebuilding your relationship with your sister. Talking to their family. And I think that's exactly what you need to continue to do. Is rebuild these relationships and find solace within your family. And help each other out. Because this is hard for, you know, all of you guys. And then I think the next step after that is therapy. I think a mental health professional could really help you process this and help you out and help out your entire family, actually. But especially individual therapy as well. But yeah, I'm just, I'm extremely proud of you for handling it the way you have. I'm sure anybody would have already flipped out already and, you know, done something irrational or spiraled. But it seems like you are moving in the right direction. So, like I said, I'm proud of you. And I wish you nothing but the best to work through this. And I hope you find a therapist that really does help you work through this. And I hope your sister and you and your family are able to process this and get through it. Confession about being a sugar baby. Hi, Snook. You can call me Cat. I watch a lot of your videos while I get ready. And when I need to, get out of my head. And it really helps. So, thank you for everything you do. This will be a little long, so bear with me. Anything you need to censor of words, you need to change, feel free. I totally understand. If you read this, please reserve judgment. And if you post this, anyone listening, I know I need mental help. I have been diagnosed bipolar 1 for most of my life. During one of my most manic episodes, I did something I will always regret. Instead of managing my symptoms, they were managing me. At least, that's a thought that helps me sleep at night. I was spending money faster than I was making it. And as one does in mania, I felt above the world. I began selling myself for the thrill. And of course, for the money. I met this one man. Let's call him Brad. And he was over twice my age. I was 21 at the time. He started taking me on dates to these fancy expensive restaurants, bars, and two events. He and I spent time together for around 6 months. Around the time I started to slip back to depression, I cut him off. Each time we went on a date, he would give me $200. And if I was intimate with him, $800. It became a common occurrence. Seeing him maybe twice a week. Going to lavish places. Or him making me a wonderful meal and mixing up cocktails. Over time, it got more intimate. Going past a simple escort business arrangement. He told me I was the best intimate partner of his life. Which says a lot because he was very old. He spent tens of thousands of dollars on me. And I was fully scamming him. The whole time I was seeing other people for money as well as my boyfriend at the time. And I was always very transparent with him. He was falling in love with me while I was using him for any and all money he would give me. I was given access to his credit and debit cards. Any shopping sprees I wanted for clothes, jewelry, accessories, also necessities like food and gas. He also helped pay for repairs on my car after an accident. Even went as far as selling my car. As well as to co-sign on my current apartment. He covered all moving expenses, the security deposit, first three months of rent, paid for movers to help with furniture, bought furniture for the apartment with me. He covered everything. He introduced me to his friends, even his daughter. His daughter was only a year younger than me by the way. Which made me absolutely disgusted. He asked me about being in a relationship. I told him I recently had a failed engagement, completely true, and was very hesitant to enter something new. So we kept it relatively casual. That said we were basically like a couple. Did all of the things couples do, dates, long, vulnerable talks, among other things. He told me how much he cared for me, how important I was in his life, was making plans for us in the future. And I was completely lying the whole time. I didn't care about him. If anything, I only felt very badly that he was so emotionally attached while I felt nothing. He told me about ex-partners of his, how some had bad endings, how he had been ghosted entirely. Then I did the exact same thing. After I had the apartment in order and everything set up. I completely detached, blocked his number. He called me from his work phone, blocked that too. He emailed me, confused and looking for closure. I never replied. Just before this, he sent me flowers through a service to the apartment. They came in a cute box that made it clear they were flowers and clear they were from him. I didn't even open it. I took the box outside and stomped on it. It was flat and I threw it out. As the time I spent with him came to a close, the weight and reality of it was catching up to me really fast. I started to feel gross about myself. About the type of work I was doing. Grossed out by lying so much and disgusted by how good at it I was. It was as if I wasn't even there the whole time. Like I was acting. Or just playing the role. I don't know how or why. I did it all. I mean, obviously, the money, but morally speaking, why? single choice i made during that time period has been eating away at me even how it ended and the way i behaved then i just needed to get this off my chest even if only by typing it out i doubt he will ever hear this so to the universe please let him know i am sorry i will never forgive myself for what i did to myself and what i did to brad all i can say is that i regret everything i could have stopped a shooter from killing nine people hello i have been watching your videos for a while now and each time i watch them i remember my biggest secret i never told anyone recently i started feeling really bad mentally so i think it'll make me feel better telling someone about this a few years ago i was talking with this guy we were the same age and we lived in different countries but we got along pretty well and all we did was pretty much just play games together we were friends for about two years and it never really got to talking about our lives and private stuff the last months of our friendship we became friends and we became super close you could say it was a somehow online relationship he told me many things about his life but mostly he told me about his hatred for humans i thought that he was just being edgy trying to seem cool like every other teenager and i did not expect this to end badly i thought that he was joking he was telling me many things about shooting his favorite one was by vladislav rozakov he somehow found out so many things about him and was telling me everything about him rozakov was his sick hyper fixation then he told me about his plan on doing a shooting i told him that it's a bad idea and that i genuinely just didn't like that idea of his and after that he started telling me less and less i told him that it's a bad idea and that i genuinely just didn't like that idea of his and i think this was the time he started getting all the things he needed for it at the time i thought that he was feeling better and although we started spending less time together i was more than sure that he was doing okay every time i complained about us not playing games anymore he told me he was just studying for his upcoming exams his attitude didn't change much for about three months and afterwards he became strange again he was telling me how he hates humanity and he was telling me that he was just studying for his upcoming exams and i told him that he was just studying for his upcoming exams and i told him that he was just studying for his upcoming exams and i told him that he was like to kill someone one day he then told me how many times he would like to commit s-word i tried helping him but anything that i said would never be heard by him he actually mostly ignored whatever i replied to those messages he just kept talking like if he was talking to himself and one day i woke up blocked by him i texted him from my alt account asking what i did wrong and why he blocked me and i told him that i was just studying for his upcoming exams and i told him that he was just studying for his upcoming exams and i told him that he was just studying for his upcoming exams and i told him that he was just but he blocked me again in a week i saw on tiktok news about a new shooting i was in school when i saw a video with his face i was absolutely numb he killed nine people and then committed s-word i was depressed for so long i could not tell anyone and i never did i still had the chat with him i had pictures saved on my pc i had pictures saved on my pc i had pictures saved on my pc but i had to move from my country and i couldn't take it unfortunately my house was destroyed so all of the pictures and chats were destroyed too it makes me so sad thinking about it now maybe i could have done something to prevent it i watched so many videos of his mother crying he was really a nice guy and i really wonder what went wrong this has been bothering me for a while now thank you for giving me an opportunity to talk about this with someone i don't want to talk with anyone about it face to face nor tell the authorities anything about it thank you would be glad to be in your videos they are amazing i am addicted to escorts hi snook i am a longtime listener of your videos i am a 34 year old male and i'm currently married but i can't seem to stop hiring escorts this habit started when i was around 19 having gotten my first job some male friends and i decided to visit a adult club some of the workers there would offer extra services for an additional cost so i decided to partake from then to now i have probably slept with over 100 escorts and being in a relationship has never stopped me i always use protection and never contracted any diseases yes i test every few months and i have a high paying job so this is something that does not affect me financially it's something i would like to stop but i'm not sure how to go about it thanks for listening p.s i have never been caught by my wife as years of doing it has taught me how to be extreme and i think the best way you could go about stopping this because like you said you would like to stop this i think the best way to go about this is going to some saa or slaa meetings which is intimacy addicts anonymous or intimacy lovers addicts anonymous i really think going to some meetings and talking to some people who deal with similar addictions to stuff like yourself would really help you'd be able to talk about it openly with some other people it'd make you feel less alone and um i just think being able to talk about it openly with people would really help and they would have great resources and just great recommendations on how to stop this addiction because that's what it is but um yeah you don't need to listen to my advice but i think that'd be a great starting point so definitely consider looking into some saa meetings in your area i'm sure there are some but i hope that this advice helps you out hi snook i don't even know where to start i am a 23 year old guy living in western australia and i have a best friend who i'd grown up with since a young age we were friends since high school she's of indian origin and i'll refer to her as kavita false name we used to be in the same friend circle but only grew to be very close and eventually best friends and i've been friends with her since high school and i've been friends with her since college she was always the girl next door sweet and such but never romantic interest kind of girl in my life not to say she's not pretty by any means she's i guess five foot nothing has a curvy kind of physique and usually actively wore oversized clothes because she was insecure about her body and the type of attention it brought at least at the point i'm talking about recently it's gotten better and i've been friends with her since high school and i've been friends with her since she's also exceptionally smart was a honors list student throughout high school and college the event that i'm talking about happened around two years ago but the memory of it was seemingly locked away and i only recollected it recently due to a trigger i will get into later we were at a college event and we were both drunk already and had the bright idea of trying booger sugar we hit up one of our guys who we knew peddled the stuff and got it we went back to my apartment as my roommate was not there at the time and did i think uh two bumps of it each now neither of us had ever done hard drugs before and it was a lot to take in it was a cloud nine but terrifying at the same time kind of feeling after a while of whatever effing around we did i ended up there for the first time for the first time for the first time in my entire life i don't know if you've ever heard of booger sugar but booger sugar is one of the most common drugs in the world and it's very aroused which i'm not sure commonly happens after taking booger sugar or not but anyway and we always had a teasing kind of relationship and she started joking around about how she wondered intimacy would feel right now on top of this high i for some reason decided this was my sign and basically it pounced on her i don't really remember if she tried to resist or not but i ended up having an affair with her for the first time in my life and i don't know if you've heard of it but booger sugar is one of the most common drugs in the world and it's the most common drug in the world and it's one of the most common drugs in the world and booger sugar is one of the most common drugs in the world and booger sugar is one of the most common drugs in the world and it's the most common drug in the world and booger sugar is one of the most common drugs in the world and booger sugar is one of the most common drugs in the world and booger sugar is one of the most common drugs in the world and booger sugar is one of the most common drugs in the world and booger sugar is one of the most common drugs in the world and booger sugar is one of the most common drugs in the world and booger sugar is one of the most common drugs in the world and i never speak of it again but in the back i never speak of it again but in the back i never speak of it again but in the back of my mind i think i always saw it as our of my mind i think i always saw it as our of my mind i think i always saw it as our word i think our memory or at least mine was actually affected by whatever was left in our system as i genuinely had no recollection of this until like a week ago when i saw a r-word survivor video and it had a girl that kind of looked like kavita and this all came rushing i have no idea what to do does she even remember any of it does she think it was r-word i would assume not as we are still very good friends and meet up on a weekly basis also her then boyfriend is her now fiance and they plan to marry in like three to four months what do i do talk to her if so do i mention that i think it was r-word if all of it was indeed consensual doesn't her fiance need to know about her unfaithfulness is it my place to tell him or not i'm honestly scared and have no idea what to do as if she decides it was r-word and makes a complaint my life is over yeah i just wrote this out here because i wanted somewhere to get it out of my system you can upload this in a video or just keep it to yourself i don't really care i watch your videos a lot recently but never thought i'd have anything effed up enough to admit apparently i did so that's all i'd prefer if you kept my name anonymous if possible if you have i'd prefer if you kept my name anonymous if possible if you have any further questions do let me know and um that was a lot of questions and to be honest i'm just not in a position to tell you what happened that night or what to do like there is a lot of information that's lacking and i think this is a perfect scenario to process with and work through with a mental health professional a psychologist or therapist because i think you have a lot to process a lot to work through and a lot to approach here and you have to be you have to just think about all of this very carefully because i mean you listed like 10 questions there i cannot answer these with full certainty i cannot give you like strong advice uh but a therapist or a psychiatrist could really help you process this and help you you know reach out to kadvia and um you know just this entire situation is a lot to unpack and like i said i'm not i'm not um qualified to give you these answers but i think a therapist could help you work through a lot of this i am a stalker early march i watched a tv series i wish i never had you see in the series there was a character not a main character but a side character some lines not noticeable though but he stood out to me definitely in this series there are close-up shots of the characters where you can just see their faces as i was watching them this boy stood out to me he had these deep blue eyes and dark hair paired with defined cheekbones at first i just thought he was my type but as i kept watching the show i fell for him harder looking forward to seeing him on the screen and smiling whenever he had a line i eventually looked up what the actor's name was and i'll just call him caleb for the sake of privacy i looked at the pictures on google one leading to his instagram i followed it at this point he only had about 200 followers as i'm writing this he has 17 000 i looked at his posts all about the show at this point i had told my friends about him and i had found out his parents names i found his mom's instagram had a look around in it found some pictures of him as a baby and left it at that a few days later i found an old post from 2022 of her and his dad making a wreath at the end of the video they hang it up on their front door which had the doorknob in the middle of the door i had googled what school he went to and it only told me what primary school he went to not which school he attended now but using this and the door i found his house yes it took me half an hour yes i went through all the houses near the school and yes i'm sure that i'm right you see in another video of his mom she is doing an interview the background there is a framed piece of artwork covered in glass in the reflection of the glass i could see a window with a car in it white bottom black top and on this house in the driveway a car with a white bottom black top also i found his mom's pinterest account on it she had a board called garden on the board there were lots of in-ground trampolines saved and yes in the garden of the house there is an in-ground trampoline i wouldn't ever go to his house as that would scare him off but the thought has crossed my mind my friends are concerned they tell me i've lost my mind i know everything about him his likes dislikes cats breed school birthday now i've started looking into his family in the hopes of finding out more information about him i've also got connections who know him i have talked to his neighbor someone who went to his primary school and someone who he's filmed with all are afraid of me or for me i don't know either way it won't change my obsession i'm too deep in now to turn back i don't know what the end goal is for me whether it's to see him in real life or to date him i don't mind as long as he acknowledges me i have 375 pictures and videos of him 64 of which i shouldn't have i've fallen into a rabbit hole where i'll find a piece of information and it'll piece together with other things make me find out another location or thing he's associated with i'd like to say i've tried to stop but i really haven't i enjoy the excitement of finding out something about him that i shouldn't know i crave it sorry if this was very jumbled i just needed to let go of it snook if you're reading this i love your videos and they help me every single night i used to struggle with sleep but these videos help a ton keep up the good work i hope this makes it into a video but if it doesn't it feels good to get this off my chest by the way i left out a lot of things as they would reveal who i'm talking about or they just weren't fitting addict confession hey snook i've recently started listening to your podcast almost daily at work for about three to four months now real big fan anyways here's my confession i have never ever been honest with you i've always been honest with you and i've been honest to anyone about this and i would say not even to myself i 30 female have been addicted to adderall since i was 24 to 25 years old i've always been afraid of being fat so i started using adderall to lose weight and overall it does help me get stuff done like cleaning and even working i've always felt like as a kid i would struggle to concentrate and anything under stimulating i would start daydreaming immediately i struggled with being on time work ethic and just overall motivation around 2020 i started working at this chiropractic clinic at first i was able to get it through your regular drug dealer but then we hired a new girl at my job and we eventually became close eventually she started going back to school and she was getting adderall prescribed to her and she would sell them to me for just five dollars a pop usually drug dealers or other people sell them for ten dollars up or fifteen dollars a pop i would buy at least 20 or more at a time and i would work out on them i would do everything on them around when i was 25 i started doing stripping and i always wanted to look nice and fit and slim obviously to attract customers but also because as i mentioned i was extremely hyper focused on my weight and appearance once she moved back to iowa i was doomed so i started looking for another dealer and the price went back up i put myself in a little bit of a financial bind because i kept buying at least 100 worth two times a week using my credit cards moving money around etc around all this time i had gotten a good paying job with full benefits and was still stripping part-time and still i was in a horrible financial spot because of this addiction i'm in a better situation now than i was then but i still buy adderall consistently i have finally come to terms that i am a full blown addict i'm scared i'll never be able to kick it i feel like i cannot do anything mundane without it i struggle with this corporate job new job as of 2025 with even better pay so that's how i'm able to sustain this addiction financially and i no longer strip as of december of 2024 because i'm now in a relationship happily but my boyfriend has no idea i do adderall my boyfriend is actually sleeping right next to me while i lay here typing this it's 11 30 p.m and i can't sleep because i popped one earlier in the day and it's still keeping me up i know this will catch up to me one day health wise i'm not sure who to reach out for help or if i'm ready to kick the habit but i want to i just wanted to get this off my chest thanks for reading snook please keep me anonymous back in january 2025 i was stationed in the kursk region of ukraine two other guys and i were scouting a small town near where we were set up after a while we entered a house and heard small noise from below we looked around for a while and we found a loose wood piece in a corner we opened it to reveal 15 or so people in the basement men women and children we entered and asked questions and looked around and we found a small stash of weapons we questioned the men about it but they kept swearing they weren't opposing soldiers and they meant no harm to us or my two friends and we stepped out to talk about what we were going to do as i was left to watch everyone the women were screaming and the kids were crying and the men were acting clueless to the stash of weapons we found after a few moments i got overwhelmed and something inside of me snapped some kind of anger or something and i killed them i killed every single one of them not just the men but the children and the women too just like that one magazine of my gun that many people gone in a mere couple seconds for no reason my friends ran back in and we just kind of acted as though it didn't happen i still have the watch one of the men were wearing i think about quite often and i've never told this story to anyone i don't know if i will ever say it again i tell myself they meant us harm but it doesn't make it go away i had to get this off my chest please keep me anonymous thank you my best friend almost died and it's all because of me i harmed many more people in the process and the friend is still suffering i am a horrible person before this story i would like to add a trigger warning for death threats and s-word mentions for context the friend was diagnosed with asperger's syndrome which is on the autism spectrum this affects them a lot and it changes their perception on how society works a lot they may not see some things that others might deem very obviously inappropriate this way so i take full responsibility for what happened also i will use pronouns they them for the friend even though they used to identify as she her back then and i myself as a female it was a warm summer night i was staying at their place note the friend lives far from me we aren't classmates and never were we were both minors young teenagers to be exact the friend wanted to play some prank on somebody we eventually came to a conclusion that sending death threats to my former classmates would be a good idea please don't do this it's very harmful and illegal that summer i transferred from my elementary school to my grammar school which i still go to so i wouldn't be in contact with any of the classmates anymore we sent the threats to 13 people 13 effing individuals we mentioned their full names made it all creepy and stuff what the hell was i thinking my mom was still in the parent group of this class and the parents eventually found out that it happened to multiple people my mom even asked me if it happened to me too i remember how my heart stopped when she told me the police were investigating it obviously this was probably the first time i've ever been in a situation where i've been in a situation where it's extremely easy as the stupid kids we are we texted it from their phone number in fall slash winter i don't remember exactly my mom told me that she needed to talk to me when my sister wasn't home she told me that the police contacted her telling her that they need to bring me in she said that maybe it was a mistake but we had to go i went with my dad and his friend who's a lawyer we went into the room and there were two people who were in the room and they were even some officials and the policemen started asking me questions i was sobbing violently through all of it i even lied with one of the questions saying that i don't remember how many people we texted because it was too hard to admit and it still is in winter before christmas my dad came to our home randomly my parents are divorced therefore my dad does not live with us that was uncommon he said that him and my mom need to talk to me they told me that i'm going to have to go to court i was terrified they told me that i could pick whether i wanted to be before christmas or in january obviously i picked the second option the friend went to court too by the way the day of court i went to school i was so anxious that i almost threw up multiple times even my friends kept asking me if i was okay i couldn't see straight i kept seeing black i told them that i'm going to the doctor later that day anyways which was a lie to cover up the fact i had to leave early for court when i went to court i started sobbing again we went into the room it was a pretty small compared to what you see in the movies the lawyer friend went with me and handed me a pack of tissues which was by far not enough for me my parents sat in the front of the room and i was sitting in the back of the room and i was sitting in the front row it wasn't public court only a few people were there both my parents looked remorseful of the day they decided to have me and i absolutely get them i cried through the whole thing barely able to speak when i had to in the end i got nothing but a warning and most likely irreversible trauma even since then my friend has been struggling really bad mentally when i said that i almost got them killed i meant that it's my fault they started struggling like this which led them to attempt s-word twice last time i saw them about a year ago they had arms full of scars like full full fresh and old their mom is trying so hard to help they've been to a hospital multiple times they go to therapy regularly they go to the hospital multiple times but nothing is helping we don't talk much anymore since it happened but when we do it concerns me really badly they often reply with just silly stickers or very short messages but not in a fun way it's just plainly concerning they've informed me of things like having intimacy at a very young age or that they're now texting someone who even they classify as a predator who buys them free stuff i tried warning them i tried warning them i tried warning them i tried warning them i tried helping in many different ways but nothing seems to be helping i haven't been doing so well either i replay the moments every day even though it's been three years i have also done extreme things to myself many times though not as severe as theirs maybe some stuff here and there a bite a bruise but not anything deep the s-word thoughts haunt me every day though i will not do it as the fear of not succeeding i try to help people i try to help people i try to help people i try to help and carrying the consequences and guilt is a risk i'm not taking i'm not happy with myself i have not been diagnosed by a professional so take this with a grain of salt but all of these signs are pointing to depression like abandoning my hygiene or losing interest in most of my hobbies all i do is scroll play video games and watch adult videos unfortunately i'm really good at hiding it nobody seems to suspect me of any of these things i'm not happy with myself anything god i'm making this about myself again am i not thank you for reading i guess now just go ahead please judge and hate me i deserve it and i just have to say frankly i i don't hate you you don't deserve it i really hope you can feel better soon i really think you should reach out to your mom or your dad and tell them that you know you're not feeling great um or by yourself go get a therapist i think it's really important to tell your family or your mom or your dad or even your friend that you feel the same way and you know please talk to a mental health professional and i think talking to someone face to face in person or just in real life and openly about it could really help you out um i believe you can get better i believe things can get better so please get the help you need and um you're not alone i promise you that and um i hope you feel better soon and all right guys that wraps up some horrifying viewer confessions and I really just want to say thank you to everyone who submitted a confession I just want to say thank you so much for being willing to you know your confession to be able to be read in front of so many people and I just hope that everyone who's watching if you're dealing with something similar to what we just went over that you realize that you're not alone and that's why I think I love this series so much is because it allows you guys to confess things and get some serious stuff off your chest but it also helps people who are dealing with something similar realize they're not alone and I think that's something we all need to realize that we're all dealing with stuff and it's all very similar and we're not alone and you're loved by a lot of people and so please if you're dealing with anything or dealing with any yeah just dealing with anything please reach out to someone and get the help you need because you're not alone and you are loved but yeah that wraps up the show for today I hope you guys had a great day and I'll see you guys in the next one today's video make sure to like the video and subscribe to the channel the channel subscriber goal is 1 million subscribers before the end of the year so please subscribe I appreciate you guys watching to the end of the video from the bottom of my heart it truly does mean the world and this was Snook and I'll see you next time bye