Homophones, Things That Scare Us, & TV We’re Loving

(audience cheering) - Did you know here, here? You know when they were like trying to sell newspapers? - I thought that was like if you're in a courtroom, like here, here. - Oh, here, here. - I think you're thinking extra, extra. - Oh, I was. Well, what does that mean? Here, here. - Yeah, what does that mean? - Okay, we'll hang on. - Yeah, I was about to explain something that I had a complete misunderstanding about. - Here, here is like pay attention to me. - Here, here is like H-E-A-R, H-E-R-E. (audience laughing) Yes, here, here, here, here, here. - Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. - Yeah. - How amazing is that? (upbeat music) (upbeat music) - What are those words called that sound the same that are spelled differently? - Homophones. - Homophones, yes. Homophobes, absolutely. - 'Cause they are all, they sound the same. - Do you know what a dipthong is? (laughing) - Tell me a thing or two about the dipthongs. - I just remember that. - Is that from Schemes? - No, it's from my linguistics class in college, and I just remember like no one else was laughing when we were learning about dipthongs. It's like when two letters come together to form a different sound. So like, O-I is a dipthong, like oil, like oil, like, O-I together, like make that new sound. - But all letters put together make a new sound. - Yeah, but it's like, usually you can separate it letter by letter and like sound it out. - Yeah, for that. - Okay, Conner, you can do Conner, like that makes sense. But like you would not be able to separate oil by it. - Or like gash. - Yeah, the U-E there might be. - It's like a eh. - If that's possible. All I know is that O-I is a dipthong. - Whee-wee? - Oh, wee. Be answer, I was talking to myself in French today on the way here. - Talk, tell me about it. - I don't really know what I was saying. - Talk to me, talk to me. - But I should French in high school. A lot of people don't know that. - We do, well, we do know it. And if you listen to the bonus. - Yeah. - We learned a lot about that class. - A lot about that, yeah. So I was just talking to myself in French in a big field. - What are you saying? - I don't remember, but I was like, I think I was actually just trying to translate a song. I think I should get a few words, which is always exciting when you're able to do that. - Here, here. Listen to my French. That's like when the vegetables come out at a restaurant, you can order them separately. - Croutote. - Croutote. - Nice. - Help a fob. - Hi, help a fob. - Help my mom. - Do you wanna play a really quick game? - Oh my God, right to the game. It's three minutes and 11 seconds in. - Do you? - Yeah, always. - Guess who? 20 questions, follow me on Instagram. - Wow, okay. Is it a woman? - No. - Are they a boy? - Yeah. - Well, okay. Are they a musician? - Yes. - Are they, is he someone that you've been a fan of? - Yes. - Is he someone that's been talked on the podcast? - Yeah. - Is he someone that's been talked about on the podcast frequently? - I would say. - Okay. Like, maybe not frequently, but I definitely talk to him. I definitely speak about this person in this man. - Yeah. Is he on Broadway? - No. - Do I am, I familiar with his work. - Yeah. - Eh, yeah. - Okay. - Oh my gosh. I don't wanna see like, this is where I get-- - I do not, but like, you know who they are. - Like, when I get to artist, young man. Oh, I guess is he younger than us? - No. - He's older than us, and he's not on Broadway and he's a musician. Is he a throwback? - Yes. - Take beat? And it's not Justin Timberlake? - No. - Is he like a household name? - To some people. - Okay, I'm not gonna get it. - I don't think he would be in your household, but he was a household name in my household, in a huge way. A lot of families. - Okay. - I'm a household name. - Josh Grobed. - No. But I like that's a good path that you're on. - Is it a musical type of person? - The musician? - Like a musicals on like Broadway type. - No. - So a Michael Buble? - No. - Or a dollar named a man. Man, can I give up? - No. - Is he taller than me? - I don't think so. - Is he on TV? - Not right now. - Okay, she like, if this person has fallen out of. - That's a good question. - Has this person fallen out of the spotlight? - Yes. - Okay, then I probably wouldn't know. - Yes, you would. - Maybe he's not a household name. He's not currently in the spotlight. - Yes, household name to a lot of households. - To a lot of households, is he Jewish? - No. - But think about like what makes a household? - What makes a household like TV? - Yes. - Okay, so this person was on TV? - Yes. - Was this person in a sitcom? - No. - Was this person on the news? - No. - Was, what is, look. - Okay, not on the news, not on a sitcom. Was this person on reality television? - Yes. - And did you, this person is a musical artist. - Yes. - And he's on reality television. And he's out of the spotlight now, but who is a reality person that was on, was in music? - I also want you to reframe the way that you're thinking about reality TV. - Like, I don't know that you would call this reality to your actual TV. - Like, I'm not thinking like, I'm not thinking of like, like, I'm not thinking of like, - Think about if we were playing that game where we try to get this to the same word, and you did reality TV and I did music. What would come out of you? - Like the masked singer? - Think about it. - Yes. - In the past. - Yes. - Like, American Idol. - Yes. - Okay, I'm saying, I'm saying, I'm saying, American Idol. Oh my gosh, what, hang on. And he's not a judge. - No. - No, he was a contestant. - Yes. - No. - Is he gay? - Yes. - Oh. - All right. I'm gonna get there. What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? What's his name? - I know it. - I do know it. - Fuck. - Ah, crap. And he was one of your first loves, right? - My first love. - Okay. I know who it is. - That was a person. - And you had a something for something, right? It was almost a saying that. - Yeah. - Yes, yes, yes. - You had an Akin for Clay Akin, yeah. - Very good job, Connor. - Yeah, okay. Clay Akin, follow you on Instagram. - I mean, I screamed. - From the rooftops. - From the rooftops. - Well, how exciting for you. - What a treat. I wonder what it was that he saw. You know? - There's no telling. But there's been a number of, he could have seen any. - Oh, it could have been anything. - My guess is that it was this clip of me and Brittany talking about who made us women. - That's what I think. - And I said Clay. - So, yay! - Okay, that's really special. Have you guys communicated at all? - No. But I'm just like, that is like amazing to me. - That's so awesome. Happy for you. - Thank you. - As always. Oh, happy Passover. - Oh my God, happy Passover. - I got like, there's no point in when I'm like, oh, I got you this, but I forget to bring it. - I got you a card at Trader Joe, Trader Joe. - That's so nice. - It's a happy Passover. - That's so nice, 'cause I didn't even know it was Passover until you said that. I'm so disconnected, it's so sad. - I'm so locked in. - Yeah. Thank you for celebrating my culture with me. - You know what's, I think it's been happening to me. Recently is like, I am having another era of just like, I am taking and consuming so much media, like across the board. Like on your phone or on the TV or everything. - Everything, like it's really crazy. I think it's 'cause I'm in like a doldrum type beat, not depressed, just like had a busier period of my career, but I'm not like cool with taking so I told you yesterday. I was like, we recorded something yesterday and I got, it was like a big drive and I got home and I was like, oh, I'm already done with everything until we were recording tomorrow. And I couldn't even get ahead on it, because I had already gotten ahead of on everything. - The fact that like that's your like uneasy feeling and that's my like heaven is a place on earth with you. - Oh, I texted her like, I'm kind of freaking out. I'm, it's like 6 p.m. and I'm like kind of done with my day and she was like, oh, how nice. And I was like, no, I'm gonna like walk somewhere really far. - That yeah, to me, it's just like, [BLANK_AUDIO] I get to cozy up with my boys and my book and what a blessing life is. Yeah, yeah, but I've been consuming so much media and then last night, I like before, but obviously like everything right now media wise is like really everything I should do. We should do a segment on here like what scared me the worst on Twitter yesterday. Okay. Which like everything really truly truly like heart sinking. I'm scared. Which I never used to be like that. I think like it's really hard to tell like what is fear mongering him? What is like an actual news report? Yeah. Well, I just don't know anything. I haven't known anything. So I don't get a lot of stuff. Sure. I don't understand and I don't resonate with a lot of stuff. And I guess yesterday was the address. Well, there's an address to the nation. Sure. Like tonight. Like there's three countries doing an address to the nation. And it's kind of like, why are you like soft launching the address to the why are you soft launching the address to the nation? Like how Alex Cooper like teases her podcast, you know? Is that what's happening? Yeah. Like tell us what you're doing tomorrow. You know, like, should we go to work today? You know, like is there a point? You know, what I mean? Like should someone quit their job today? Instead of like ghosts, go, you know, what are you thinking they're going to say? Like lockdown? No. No. Yeah. And I think it's going to be lockdown for energy. I think it's going to be like. No. Yeah. I think it's going to be like an energy saving lockdown because Australia just already did it today because we're on a different time zone. Like, just like preserve energy. Don't drive as much if you don't need to. Don't get too much gas at the thing because they're not in the war, but they want to keep their taxes low for like truckers. They call them truckies. And so that's just that was what scared me yesterday. But I mean, that's not the worst thing that scared me yesterday because I did hear that there's an alien human breeding branch of the government now. Which like that made me there's always been. Yeah. There's always been. That's what what's a call this? What area 51? Yeah. Another thing about the alien human hybrids, like if that is a real thing, like I'm going to be upset if they live longer and are taller than me, you know, they were. They did a season. Remember that? Like it wasn't American horror story, but it was American horror stories. There was a season about area. Like, why do I keep forgetting the number 51? Yeah. There was a season about area 51 and human alien breeding. I'm just so out of the loop with human alien breeding. I don't think that there's a loop to be in there for the general public. I think there's a deeper dive that could be done. Yeah, but then it's like you enter conspiracy theorists. Oh my gosh. What isn't a conspiracy? What isn't now? Because now when I'm going to go into another conspiracy theory, I think tonight might be either the lockdown or we're launching this space again, and we're going to the moon, which is the first time since we went to the moon the last time. And everyone's like, oh my gosh, it's so dangerous. We're so worried. They make it back safe. It's like, wait, didn't we do this before color TV was invented? It could also literally just be Trump is renaming the Palm Beach airport. Or he finished the ballroom. Yeah. Which would be huge news for us. We'll see. Yeah. No, it's true. I like a lot of people are like, it's just going to be him being like, we won. I'm sure. Yeah. Anyways, that's my fear mongering essay of the day. Let me make sure there was no more fear mongering to be to be done. That we should have a fear mongering segment that people can skip. From like 10 to 25, we're doing fear mongering. And then we're doing pop culture. And guess who fear mongering? No, no, no, no. We're starting with homophobes, homophobes. Guess who? Fear mongering TV. I'm watching. Milking farm. TV. Milking farm. Moon launch. The Kit Kat Heist in Europe. I saw that. The draft. More news on homophobes. You're here. I haven't planted my flags yet. I'm going to do it during pride month. You're going to do how many flags you just said plural? Well, I have 50. Well, now I 49. Because once here, and if you all are coming to our shows, I'm going to be giving out some pride flags. Cool. But yeah, I don't know how many I'll plant. But now now I'm starting to get scared of this person, the neighbor. Because now I've noticed she's parked her car in a way that's like blocking me and my gay neighbors. And I think she's trying to get us to hit it because she has cameras lined up everywhere outside of her car. So I think she's she's got something up her sleeve. You don't have a higher. You don't have like a higher power that you could reach out to, right? I have my landlord who's like on it. Could you be like my neighbors trying to get me to hit her car? I like, I don't have the concrete proof. It's just a theory based off of the way she's it's like just like our two driveways. It's so hard to explain like are separated by a massive drop off that I've dropped down off of quite a few times and then had to press all of my weight on the gas to reverse back up. Does that make sense? There's just like a drop off. Yeah. That if I dropped off, I'd be in her driveway. But she's parked now like right up against the drop off so that I couldn't drop off which is like ideally I would never drop off. But like sometimes I need to drop off to wiggle my way out of driveway. So it's hard to explain like she's technically within her limits, but she's pushing, she's testing me. I see. She's testing me. Like I have to do it like an extra 55 point turn to maneuver because like the front of my car usually enters into that space without me fully dropping off, but now it can't. I like how you're like she's blocking us in and you're like fully able to get in and out of your driveway. It's harder. It's harder. You've seen my driveway. It's it's really hard to maneuver and she's making it extra difficult. What do you say? What can you say? Nothing. I want to know. What do you want to put a pride flag on her car, but she has cameras all around it. You write a note on the pride flag. Happy pride. Move your car or else. And also the way she's parked like it's very hard for her to get into that position. Like there's no reason for her to be parked the way that she is. What a like, you know, you have to be pretty unhappy to be parking like that for sure. That's what I'll say. Well, bless your heart. I'm here for so long and I'm worried because I think when I get back, I have to move. Why? Because it's like how long I'm going to be here for the stretch of time. My hair fell out of my clip. Does it look weird? I can't see the back of your head. Okay. Is there a day you have to be out? What day do you have? I don't know. At this point, I'm too scared to ask. No, you need to ask. Are you months to months now? No, they wouldn't do it. They wouldn't. They wouldn't do that. So you need to find out the last day that you can be in your apartment. Yeah, that's a good. My guess is, is it the end of April? It's definitely May. Like the beginning of May. Okay. So you'll be back in time. Yeah, it's not April yet, right? I say per first. Oh my god, we didn't do any April fools. I don't fuck with April fools. To be honest, like, there should be years where you skip it. Like it should be a leapier thing. Yeah, because like maybe I need to get on meds because it's like, I wouldn't. I'm not like cool with people doing jokes right now. No, I don't like. I don't. I rarely like cranks. I especially don't like if they're directed towards me. And especially right now, if a brand is like, let's do like this insane thing, it's like, you're in my, I'm not buying a product from you for a little bit. I'm not, we're not, none of us are in the mood for an April fool. You're clogging up my airspace. I haven't gotten, I haven't really opened my phone this morning in an amazing way. So I haven't gotten pranked yet. Oh my gosh. You probably don't have that day. I guess my old job was so bad. Like I'm, I've told it. I've said this before on here, but like my old jobs were scary because they were all startups. And so like, I would just have to like not ever turn my phone on. Do not disturb. And so like my vibration of my phone, getting a text like wakes me up in a way that like if someone broke into the my bedroom, like that's, it feels the same. I feel like I'm literally this year just got out of the, if my dad texted me, I'm in trouble phase of my life. Like I always used to think if I got a text from my dad, I was in trouble. I just always think someone died. I would love to be in trouble. Oh no, I have like a, a fear of getting in trouble. But your papa. I just feel like he would most, like he, he would always like in high school. Like if I left like something out on the counter, just send a picture of it with no text. And so I think I've always expecting like to get a picture of like this cereal that I left out for something for the AC that I didn't turn down. There's going to be an age that Your father gets where he's going to just send you a picture of cereal and it's going to re-trigger this whole thing But he's just going to be like I'm pleased in this cereal today. Maybe I have something I want to say but I can't I have something I want to say but I can't Oh, I'll tell I could talk about the fact that I have a huge black eye. Oh, yeah Yeah, I hit my face on a ladder, which like it's so funny that that's Like we've kind of manifested that I'm always talking about ladders on here Yeah, and how that's my favorite icebreaker. Oh I kind of love that for me. I wish it didn't happen where like I have other like I wish I just would have gotten the black eye Right, I get that I'm so Intrigued by the way that you scab Because you didn't you you're saying you weren't bleeding. No, I just I get like a strawberry and it scabs in a way Where it's like I have a big open wound, but like doesn't make any sense to me There was hours for the day where like it wasn't even notice Not even noticeably bleeding and then it just scabs. I don't get how you can have a scab without any sort of open skin Why didn't like open skin Well then you know what you're not gonna like that new show something very bad is gonna happen. Oh, I want to see that Is it too gory for me? Yeah, I also started watching it last night and I had the Like the weirdest string of evil dreams like not even like scary just like Weird as hell who's in that show Camila Monroe and Adam DeMarco. Oh my god She is the most beautiful person that I have ever seen in my life I've just learned like how to properly use camp In a way like still working on that everything's a little bit over the top theatrical in this show Like it's a little bit you start watching it and it's like okay if the first thing I'm just gonna give you the premise and because I've only watched one episode She's basically getting married to Adam And he's part of this rich family. Everyone's bizarre. I'm talking about one small inconvenience on a eight-hour road trip Going to get like we're calling it off, you know like I'm not someone who has something bizarre Happened to me where I'm like deeply unsettled and you just keep going with the trip you know like and then - yeah, and this is like a thing where like there's a string of things and it's like She always has this gut feeling and there's a thing after thing and it's like bizarre things. That sounds good Yeah, and it's like that then the family's weird and they're really kind of just like bizarre and mean to her and like In a crazy way It's just like no, we're calling it off. Yeah, I guess that's the point of the show that you're just like on edge on edge And there's a lot of like you know, I'm laying in my hotel bed and there's jumps. I'm excited Yeah, it's it's good like I mean, I don't know I'm not like a horror movie watcher and there is like a lot of bleeding. Okay, I that I don't know Like do you see actively like them like slicing? No, just like a woman running into a mirror and then like I Know as bleed. Okay, those are fine for me like what I can't watch is like stabbing Or like I can't watch doctor shows because of like surgery. Yeah, I hate when I see like skin be slice. Yeah, I can't do that I can't do that. But like if you're already bleeding like I can look at a bloody body Does that make sense? I just can't watch it happen if I'm seeing active piercing. You don't want to see how the sausage is made. Yeah, so Like I couldn't watch someone be put into a meat grinder, but I could see the meat. I don't think I could see that watch it either Yeah, I'm sure there's someone out there that could Watch someone be put new meat grinder. Oh, absolutely. There's so many people who don't have a problem with that I couldn't eat I couldn't eat meat for like a full blown Week after watching the Jeffrey Dahmer thing that know that was hard There was a truck. I just got chills in my body where I don't remember I think I lived here when we watched that and There was a truck that was always in my neighborhood because there's a restaurant and it had this like huge slab of raw meat on it and I was like Move that truck move that bus. Yeah No, it's just like it looked like human Yeah, yeah Uh-uh And then I'll just keep going with TV because I feel like weirdly brain dead and all I've been doing is consuming media Connor, I told you like I've been proud of myself for how much TV I've been watching because that means my attention span is growing Mine's getting small. I feel like I'm getting dumber. Oh my gosh from getting dumber I need to finish the book. I've been reading for six months. Oh book stoner. Oh I love the cover of that one. Do you? Is it the one that kind of looks like a classic? It's very it's very like ups Unsettling. Yeah, wait, but it when did that come out? Like it's not a classic right? No, I love it. Yeah, I love that cover What's it about? Oh, it it it's old never mind 1965. Yeah, it is old. Okay. Never mind. I thought it was like a modern book that like took on an old timey cover so I'd like that, but now I don't care for it What's it about? Do you know so I think I on the front and he's just like He would like it. He's just like so in love with like Reading and writing like literature. Why are you reading this like takes over his life? Why do you do this? You know what? There's this series that boys are reading. It's like a boy book and It's called dungeon crawler Carl Dylan was telling me about it. Okay, literally just told me I need to watch like Bob the builder book No, this is literally captain underpants for grownup Carl's doomsday scenario like people no boys are loving it's for grownup boy It's meant technically grownup boy Dylan is reading it. I'm not watching. I'm not reading dungeon Carl Dylan is reading it No, this looks It's good apparently like my friend like Thompson is reading it like grownup, but boys. I'm not reading something. I'm just Why are you reading stoner? Why are you reading about a man who's love for literature is overwhelming like that is not for you Don't call the carls for you. The butcher's masquerade is for you I'm not reading the butcher's masquerade. I think that you should What in though? No, I'm not doomsday Carl. I'm I'm these are all over Barnes and Noble like this is what boys are reading like if you Red the like if you were a young boy reading captain underpants and shit like that and you like the hunger game It's like captain underpants meets the hunger games. I don't even know what it's about, but I'm just guessing I Wasn't I you know what I I never read captain underpants. You think you're better than captain underpants. I Probably did think that yeah, I probably said you guys are here. Yeah, I was in gifted and talented glasses. Yeah, I moved forward with AP Who's AP Advance placements. Oh wait look at my book I brought my book today Look how thick this is Yeah, that's how you're gonna work. Do you see that? Yeah, I'm loving these Creston City books you guys It's 805 pages. That's right. Yeah, that's can't But wow just wow, let me think what I was reading when everyone else was reading captain underpants. What grade was that? Young there was goose bumps So when people I never I never read magic tree house. I was reading magic tree house Gregg or the overlander in my favorite box car children, then there was warriors. So the none of those You didn't you're in box car box car and house box car My mom liked box car for some reason. So I feel like it's very wholesome Yeah, and it was like I loved like goonies vibes, you know like these kids are like Well, I think that they were were like orphans There was also this one not tale of Desperot you know tale of Desperot that was about a mouse Then there was these other ones about a mouse named Geronimo, I think you know, I know Geronimo. Is he would you mind looking up Geronimo chapter books for? Kids mouse I loved this guy No, maybe his name was all the don't yeah, yeah, yeah, no no Geronimo siltin Loved love to his ass. Yeah, I loved him What else was around that time I Think we got we got most of them, but I love oh my god. I mean what I would get that's what I'm gonna do Sorry, I didn't say my sentence out loud didn't get there. We need I guess we kind of have them But we need like a mainstream scholastic book fair for adults Yeah Not nice, that would be nice for people it would be Just so awesome, so what's like like I'm wondering like What are you wondering and I'm gonna I'm gonna raise my concern. I was gonna say I guess I'm wondering like what is the difference? Between a bookstore and a scholastic event for adults. There's none No, there is I Want offers to come in I want like Coachella for books. I guess there's book on, but like I don't really understand what that is I Yeah, well cuz like it was fun for us because we were getting out of class, you know There was like novel. No, there was so much more we couldn't drive to a bookstore in elementary school. That was our That was our like big event, but it was like the scholastic employees would come in I don't know if you had this they would come in a few days before the book fair -My dad didn't-- -You had a booklet in front of you with all the new books. It was like a little schoolastic magazine. And they would go through and they would explain the synopsis of each book. And you could like take notes on if you like them or not. Oh, my God. -Thank you, Rich Dad. That must have been a really nice school. -Hi, thank you, Rich Dad. I actually didn't get any money for the book fair. I had to call my mom and pop up and ask for a credit card number. -Thank you. -I guess that's not helping my case. -Hi, thank you, Rich Grant parents. -No. -But everyone had cash, and I didn't get cash. I had to call I had to get my credit card number for the phone. -Oh, I hate that. -I know. I know it's so sad. -I mean, I just want to-- I'm just thinking of like, if you made it adult vibes, which I guess what you're yearning for is pretty much the same energy. I like to know what the adult version of those animal shaped erasers would be to put on my wooden pencil. -I mean, adults love, I love cool bookmarks. -I love erasers. -Any bookish march post-it notes, like annotation notes, bookmarks, as I already said, highlighters, I love all that stuff. -You know, I said I have no memory. -Yeah. -I do remember specifically this, the music that was playing. And I remember what the bathrooms were like in my elementary school. And I remember kind of the route of my elementary school, which is weird, does it? -Yes. -It was just so long ago. -Did you ever have this blue hand sanitizer that was kind of foamy? -I don't know. -Okay. Yeah. We had this blue hand sanitizer that was kind of foamy. And if I smelled that right now, I think I would actually teleport. -Like a bath. -I think I would actually tell-- yeah, exactly. -I have this one memory. Awesome memory. I think I told it before. Just like, one of our teachers cars exploded in the parking lot and we got to all spins like the entire half the day just like watching it burn. -That is awesome. -And then at some point, all the tires popped from the heat and it went up in the air for a second. She's her crying. But like, I remember everyone else was like, "What, like fireworks show, you know?" -I literally, like, I loved elementary school so much. Like I was one of those kids. It's like if I had to miss school, it was like I was beside myself. But I also, like, my school was really like camp. -Yeah. -It was such an amazing place. I wish everyone, middle school not so much, high school not so much. -There was like a very, like, evil couple years for me too that I just like, "Oh, I can pick it. Kids just suck." -My ninth and tenth was evil. -Kids just suck. I worry about kids. -I know. I can't imagine it's any better now. -And they're meaning it. -And not the other phones. -I know. It must be far worse. -Oh, Jesus, age. -I can't imagine. Thank you teachers. Thank you. Thank you to kids. I don't think any kids will listen to us. But oh my gosh, you just have to, unfortunately, just have to, like, keep going. -Just suck. -Just suck. -You remember "Forms Spring," of course. -I don't know. Oh. -Forms Spring, yeah. -The anonymous, like, you could post anonymously on someone like. -Ask FM. -Yeah. But it was "Forms Spring" before Ask FM, I think. But there was this, when I was a freshman, there was this senior girl who I thought was just like the coolest, prettiest girl in the world and I wanted to be her friend so badly. And we, like, were developing a kind of friendship. Did you hear my stomach growl to send? -That was mine. -Oh. -Whoa. -And then I wrote on her "Forms Spring" who's your favorite freshman and I forgot to make an anonymous. It was just me that said that. -That was really hard. -What did she answer? Someone else? -She said you, exclamation. -Oh. -Her two's were dead. -But, like, I didn't want. That's not what I wanted. That wasn't how I wanted that to go. -Oh. Oh, bro. That's humiliating. -Connor. Try and lift me up instead of putting me back down. -No. I mean, like, you're past it, too. You're acknowledging that it's. I'm not putting you back down. I'm happy that is embarrassing. But that's, like, a pin-15 type situation, like, that's, like, a canon developmental situation that happens. You're like, "Okay. Now we keep going. Perfect example of keeping going." -It was hard to keep going, but, yeah, anyway, I guess this ties into something else that I wanted to talk about. It was a classic book there. I'm going to open. I've been missing Tiny Bookshop recently. -Yeah. -And it sucks because I can't really play it again because I know how it ends. I noticed you just took your phone out, wasn't it? When I said. -I was just checking my notes. -Okay. -I am going to run my own bookstore out of Beach Town, like, that's something that I'm going to do. -Great goal. -But I'm starting to, like, as I come upon 30 soon, it's like, let's start to really think about doing that. -Yeah. -And Kat's going to do it with me, and we're also going to make it a cat rescue, so, like, we're going to foster Katz in the bookstore, and, like, people who shop, like, can adopt them. I love Kat-Ka-F-A-X bookstore, and there will be a Katio attached for our Katz as well. And we're going to have this Beach Town, and, like, some of our other friends are also going to start their establishments there, so it'll be, like, a compound. So I think, like, Tristan and Miles are going to do, like, bar, X, like, music, record store. And so he's going to be in charge of, like, the gift shop and, like, crap that's, like, at the bookstore, what will you do? And by the way, we're thinking Carmel by the Sea right now, if that works. -That's really lovely. I really want you to watch Perlandy a little bit. -You want me to do Oregon? -No. It's just, like, it feels like exactly. It feels like so up this alley of this one's get they do. -Oh. Okay. Well, basically, I'm in the market for a Beach Town. -Yeah. -That's willing to, kind of, rent their whole city to me. -Carmel by the Sea would be perfect, because it's so tiny. -It's so tiny, and looks like it's right out of Shrek. -I've never been, but I kind of want to go to the East Coast. -I just feel like you wouldn't have, like, as much of a vibe there. Like, you could do, like, a Rhode Island type situation. -Yeah. -Newport. -Yes. Like, a, yes, but then it's, like, then you have off seasons, which is hard. -That's what I was thinking. But you might like an off season. -I might. -When else would you go to, like, Europe? -True that? -True that. -But anyway, what do you want to do in the town? -What would I want to do in the town? See, like, I have always wanted the coffee shop. -You can do the coffee shop. -Yeah. -I think, I forget who you think someone else is doing the coffee shop that you might have a co-owner. -That would be lovely, because I don't want to be fully in charge of something. -Okay. Yeah. I forget who's working that with you, but someone. -I had, oh my God. You just reminded me. I had the best idea of the weekend. -What? -So, I'm sitting at a restaurant. And I'm looking at this other table, and I'm like, "God, they were having so much fun." It's hard for me not to be like, "What restaurant were you at?" -This place in New York, Cafe Clooney, and we've been there. We went there together. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -And I'm sitting, we locked out and we got an outdoor table, which, like, by the grace it got, because I didn't even have a reservation, and it was, like, I guess it was, like, a Thursday night. It was, it's just now getting very nice out. Everyone's putting the tables back inside. And I'm sitting outside, and I'm looking, like, from the outside looking in at this table, co-ed table. They're laughing. I can't hear how, how loud they're laughing, but I can tell that it's, like, with their chat. -What's the age demographic? -Mid-twenties. It's just, like, you know, that's your prime, and I'm, like, I want to- -Don't say that. -It's part of your life, and I, like, I'm like, "Oh, what are they talking about?" You know what would be amazing. -What? -A silent disco. You put the headphones in, and you look around at different tables, having conversations. And everyone signs a waiver coming in. You can tap into different tables' conversations. And listen in. -I don't think anyone would, like, consent to that. -If you're willing and able, and, like, you want to go in and tap into other people's conversations, and, like, listen in, and it wouldn't be a spy, then you're signing a waiver going in. But the, like, the listen-in cafe. -The biggest dick I've ever gotten from a guy was during a silent disco when my headphones were off. -Ooh. -Why'd you do that? That's kind of- -It was dancing. I think I had an itch on my ear or something, but, like, I just had to take my headphones off for a second. -You can't take yourself out of this. -No. It was really hard. But, like, if anyone needs the itch, just, like, try to put yourself in a position where your headphones are off at a silent disco and his are on, he's dancing to the beat that does not exist to you. -Oh. -Yeah, that sucks. That's the- the most fun I've ever had was at ECL, and we went to the silent disco, and we accidentally- we were in a stop there on the way to the killers, which was my one-in-only chance to ever see the killers, not that I, like, really need to, I guess, like, I'm not massive. You know, the strokes, different story, the killers, not so much. And we stopped at the silent disco, and it was with, like, some of my best friends, and we danced, and we danced, and I had never laughed harder, and that's, like, one of my most special memories is the silent disco. -Oh, that's sweet. -Yeah, it was very fun. -I really want to go to the Renaissance Fair that rinded me. -Yeah, me too. I would- we need to- we should go. -I know. -I want to wear a corset that's comfortable, though. -I want to- I want to need a turkey leg, which I just learned is fully ham. -No. -Turkey leg? -Yeah, we've had the discussion before about turkey legs- -It's not turkey. It's ham. -It's a turkey leg. -What kind of massive turkey leg that is? -No, turkey legs are not ham. -No, I'm just saying turkey legs. - Leaks are not ham, I know that, but at the Renaissance fair, they are. - No, they're not. - A fair turkey leg is a massive smoked turkey drumstick. And likely from a male to turkey, prize for its tender juicy raw and savory ham-like flavor. - I mean, there might be a ham-like flavor to it. You talking about the smokiness? - Maybe I was talking about the juiciness. - But where do you confidently, where do you get the information that makes you 100% sure that a turkey leg at the Renaissance fair is ham? - I guess being a man, I guess. Like that's one of my dad's, but that's one of my downfalls. But I really didn't, I don't consider turkey's juicy. - Dark meat can be juicy. - But is it dark meat? I thought it was like pink. - That's dark meat is just like certain parts of the body. - No, I know what dark meat is. - I thought it was ham, y'all. That's ham. - No, it's a turkey leg, it is pink, yeah. Multiple things can be pink. (laughing) I feel like-- - I love the way your brain worked. It's pink, so it must be ham. - Ham pink? - This turkey leg is pink, must be ham. - Oh my god, I've been telling everybody ham-gate. - I think you've said it on this podcast before. - I haven't, no one corrected me. - I'm sure I must have tried. - Okay, well cool, I'm cool with that. - Nice. - The thing is, be open to learning new things and not being so dead-shed. - You are, yeah. - Convicted in something that you know nothing about. - True. - Yeah. - I have exciting news, but it will mean nothing to you. And everyone already knows there's no point in me really saying it. - Same thing. - But I'm just really excited because John Green is coming out with a novel. For the first time in 10 years. - I saw it on Instagram. - Or something. And it's his first ever adult novel. - Like Smot? - No, just like not young adult. So like the thought in our stars was young adult. Like it's about teenagers. - Yeah. - And I read it when I was a teen. And so this one is for and about adults. - That's cool 'cause his fans are like growing up and they're adults now. - Exactly. Yeah. And it was like, he was like, I don't know if I'll ever write a novel again. So it's really exciting that he's writing one, that he's written one and it's coming out September. - I do feel like that's an HU-don't-subscratching. - The novel is. - It's like psoriasis. No, I think like you would like, if you're really good at that, you keep creating bangers like, why would you, you know, like what would make you want to start? - Well, I think he's really like gotten his head after the thought in our stars. Like it's really hard to have something that is that successful. And then have to keep writing after that. He wrote one novel after the thought in our stars. And I think he's spoken a lot about how it's like, there's like a really big pressure. Like it will it ever measure up. - That's my favorite saying thing. - What? - Everything that you create doesn't need to be the best ever. It's a stepping stone to your next thing. Lower the stage. - Yeah, but then it's hard when it's like, you did make your best ever. And then like probably nothing will ever be as good. - You don't, like you just never know that. - You never know, you never know. Here's what I'll say about John Green. fault in our stars, he did the fault in our stars and then he did something called turtles all the way down. The fault in our stars was my favorite, but turtles all the way down, like change lives. - Turtles all the way down. - Turtle all the way down changed my life. - What does that mean? - It was about a character with OCD. And that's how I learned that I had OCD. So even though it wasn't my favorite, it's still like changed my life, you know? So that's cool. Anyway, I'm really excited. - That's gonna be great. - Thanks. - I am excited. - Maybe he'll do a press tour. - You might. - You might? That's something I'm excited about. - Tell me. - And this one kind of hurts me. Like this is something that I feel like you, about you will resonate with this part of me. - Yeah. - Is it like I've always been like a huge Fleetwood Mac fan? - Oh, absolutely. - Huge CV next fan. That's gonna be someone who, yeah. Like it's really gonna be any of those. I think it's my mom is like such a huge fan, you know? Like I've been like indicted into this like fan ship. And I've been like it's on my number one, ours every year too, like are not number one, but like in my top five, love story season two by Ryan Murphy is gonna be about Fleetwood Mac. - Is that confirmed? - Yes. - It was shaking her head now. - Wait, it was posted yesterday. - I just saw something on Twitter that said, 'cause I was gonna put it in this. That said it was April 4th. - Oh, damn. Got my ass. - CV has been in American Horror Story. So that's not like out of left field that she would be tied to right in Murphy project. - Yeah, no, but it was Billy Lord and Connor Story. - Has it been written? - No, we're not Connor Story. If Connor Story, it's not she's right. - So bizarrely weird to post something like that. Like maybe it will, maybe, mate, well, yeah. I'm like a, oh, like I'm gonna, I'm gonna put in a boycott. - Yeah. - Yeah. - You're mad. I see that. - Oh my gosh. Like it got so much traction. I'm so disgusted. Because that would be like such a great love story. I mean, there's so much time to it. And especially because of how much traction like, like with the-- - How does this look? - Disgusting. - I feel like leather and lace of it all. - What is that? - You have to get away from the sound of the one that loves you. - Oh, yeah, yeah, no, you won't. Oh, no, that would be a Lindsey Buckingham and CV next story would be-- - Just. - John. - Wow. - We'll see. - The AHS zone on Twitter. You're on my list. - Yeah, I'm sorry. That is hot. - Dominic Sessa as John McVee. Great casting. Actually met him the other night. Because they have Connor stories. - Lindsey Buckingham, thank you. - Hello. - Yeah. - Lucy Boynton as Christine McVee. I don't know. - Yes, you do. She was in Bohemian Rhapsody. - Who's Boynton? - Wow, did you see Connor stories where I was in commercial? Really? - Well, we can watch in bonus. - They made like a feature film of it. It's like five minutes long and it's like a horror film. It's insane. It's a completely new way of doing commercials. - Well, there's a new era of doing commercials. I saw something the other day. When there was like Super Bowl commercials coming out and someone was like Sabrina Carpenter teases her Samsung commercial and it was like the concept of Sabrina Carpenter teasing her commercial. - Yeah. - We're reaching a point of like consumerism where we're teasing commercials. - Well said, yeah. Like I'm having dreams of products in my brain. - It just sucks 'cause like that's horrible. But like on the other hand of like Connor story was teasing his rise in club. I'd be like sitting at the rise in the store with Baited Ryze. - He's gonna fuck the flip phone. - Wait till you see what happened. It was really good. I've watched it like three times. - Oh, I'm excited. - Yeah, it's like a dream. - But it's a horror movie. - Let me try to like. - Let me try to guess. - Are there devices? - Ties in Verizon. - Are there devices in the president? - Kind of, yeah. - Yeah. - Is it device, the president? I guess I'll just see. I really don't like have any creative phone to spare. - It's a really good, you want me to tell you the concept? - Here. - He like, he's at this like really secluded kind of scary house and like things keep happening. Like the alarm goes off. Something else happened. I don't, shit keeps happening. And then it turns out it's 'cause his ass is so fat that he kept activating his phone in his back pocket. - Interesting. - But it was scary. - That's really creative. - It wasn't it? - To make the concept of a Verizon. - To tie in his piece. - The concept of a Verizon commercial will be centered around his huge ass. - Yeah. Isn't that amazing? That's what I'm like way we're going in a good direction. But then it's like six something else comes out in the 16 steps back. - Yeah, I think that's fun. - Yeah, it was really fun. - To me, that's fun. - I enjoyed myself and I was like, ooh, this is scary. I really liked it. - Ooh yeah. - And he felt really creatively fulfilled by the project. - Did he share that? - Yeah. - Oh, that's really great. - Yeah, it really is. - Love and things come together in that way. - I do, I do too. - Oh well, now I'm really upset. - Why? - Just about the Fleetwood Mac thing? - I know, I saw, I saw like the life go out of your eyes. - It's really hard for me to like get back into what we were talking about. - Do you want me to give you a few options? - Well, I have one right here. - Okay, talk to me. - Oh my gosh, unless this is an April Fool's joke too. I don't know, like I could be, no, it is, I just feel stupid as hell. - What was it? - Like there's no point in me sharing anything. Like this, we should have skipped. Oh, everything I have on my notes today was fake. - What, tell us what they are? - The Alien Breeding Program. Like I don't think that's real. Okay, now I'm like, okay. And did they actually steal 16 tons of KitKats in Europe? I'm assuming not. - I believe the KitKats, 'cause that was yesterday. - Is Instagram? - It's not kosher to do April Fool's on March 31st. - Is Instagram launching a feature, paid feature to stock people's stories unseen? - You can. - Are you can already do that? - Paid? - Unpaid anonymous, anonymous viewer.com or something. I already do that all the time. Yeah, kick hat for real. - Oh. - This is real, but like not really. - Well, you're like, well, we believe Matt Gaetz now? - No, I don't think we do. - You think Trump could keep that a secret? We're breeding aliens. They're the. - It'd be crazy if aliens actually, Obama said they do exist. - Okay, well, they do. But it's just like. - Did you see him say that? It was kind of like, whoa. - I saw him do it on the same day that something else huge happened. I'm like, oh, bummer. - Did it got buried? - Buried completely. That would be such a bummer if like you really something that was massive and then someone did something else. I think Trump did something that day and it was just like, okay, that was on purpose. - Yeah, it's like when like people come out with an album the same day as Taylor Swift. And it's like you have to just move your album. - I think like Taylor Swift would usually come out with an album the same day as that man. That would be an intentional move. - Oh. - Oh. - You know, Matthew Morrison is replacing Jonathan Groff in just in time today. - I believe she was, he was at the same Pilates classes. - Is that not the spherical? - Just like crouching. - Pat literally just texted, this is like, this speaking of things that are April fools. - Oh, do you think it might be? - No, it's not. - I'm really sick and tired of April fools. - This is not April fools. - Nothing is very funny to me. - It just doesn't make sense. And I'm confused because here's why I'm confused. Jeremy Jordan is replacing Jonathan in a few weeks who's like fabulous. But why are we doing this like three week into realm of Matthew Morrison? Just like, let's just go right to Jeremy Jordan or extend Jonathan or close down the show for a little. - And it's not that Matthew Morrison is bad. It's just like, not, it's not a match. You know, like he. - I don't, I'm sorry. - It's just trust me when I say it's not a match. - Okay. - So cute not a match. That's what someone said to Tristan on a grinder. (laughing) - So cute not a match. - That's just hard. - But yeah, Kat texted me last week when we were recording and it was just a picture of her and crossfit, solid core. And her and Matthew Morrison, like under a sign that was like girl boss, girl town or something. Just working out together and she said, is this Mr. Schuster? - Absolutely. - Why wouldn't it be? Apparently they were knuckling the whole time. Which I, oh yeah, like is that not crazy? Built by women power by women? Yeah. - Solid core is so hard. That's really cool that they're doing it together. - Yeah, no, I, like to me, like I'm talking shit, but like if I were doing solid core with Mr. Schuster, I'd be knuckle punching him as well. Like I can't imagine like having a free second during solid core to knuck someone unless I was laying for a long while. On my ass, on the ground. - I'm obsessed with his, look at the way he's crouching his feet or like sticking it back out. - I don't look like that. I did a solid core class with, I think it was with Celsius and we all went in and there was a moment where I was asked to join in with the other young men that did the solid core class and I passed and I-- - Out. - No, I passed on the picture. - Oh, okay. I would love to show the other young men as a photo. I said, I'm gonna sit out for the photo because it wouldn't be, I don't think it would be, it's so cute on a mask. - Yeah. - For me to be in that photo. - Yeah, yeah. - Um, and I love when I get invited to do like a branded event with, that is like a workout class because it's like what that I put out like gave you the idea that I would be like be a good-- - Oh, I've been invited too. I've never gone. - Match for this. - I like to work out completely alone so much so that I've told you before. If I just start, ooh, Brooke, hang now, leave it alone. Oh, that was huge. - I ate it. - Oh my God, it looked like a second finger coming off of your finger. Holy moly, did that not hurt? - No, it was like the skin was so dead that it wasn't like attached to my skin. - Worried. - Hey. - Oh, y'all, this is bad. - No, I have, here's what I think will help you understand. Is he, can we look up Matthew Morrison, one man show? He's been doing this one man show and this is what he's leaving to do just in time. And like if I can just get a TikTok of this for you, I think you'll start to understand. Yeah, let's give this one a whirl. - As it's best, is it dance? - That's amazing. - You bring your steps, your heart, your truth. So I expect others to do the same. But sometimes that dance takes an unexpected turn. - This is, oh my God, this is real. - Oh my God, this is real. This is exactly my side. - The ground disappears from any of my feet. The call stopped, the door's closed. And one by one, the people around me turn their backs. And I was left sitting in the silence. - Ask him a question to ask yourself for a moment. - Okay, I get it. - I don't know if you do. - No, I do. I think I got like, it was like a good tidbit enough for me to like grasp. - You would have liked his talent of his 9/11 retelling. As well. - Why do you think I would have liked that? - It's a unique perspective. - You think I would have liked Matthew Morrison's unique retelling of the 9/11 experience? - I do. His 9/11 experience. Where was he? - You'll have to watch the clip. - Okay, I'll watch it in the bonus. Okay, well, why not? I'll hit it here. - I think I get it. The concept of Matthew Morrison getting cheated on on 9/11, and that's what he's speaking about here. - Yes. - Here's my 9/11, I was being cheated on. - On 9/11 though. - He was talking about his experience 9/11 rushing home. And she was girlfriend, opened the doors, and bed with another man. But he told it in his Matthew Morrison way. - Oh, and that was at City Winery. - He was at City Winery? - Nashville. - Oh, cool. Oh, he's there right now. Yeah, I wanted to go see him, but no one would go with me. - I would go. - Would you? - Yeah, I told you this. - But now he's doing just in time. - It's not that. - That's the problem. That's just freaking problem. So, anyway, he is like to follow Jonathan Groff. That's what I'll say about that. - Do you think I'll ever really meet Jonathan? - Groff? - Yeah. - Yeah, there's been several individuals like very close to him. - I just feel like I keep like getting close, but never close enough. - In time. - And I know I technically met him at for a brief moment at funding girl, but that didn't count. - In time. - Okay. - Just take a breatho. Pretty go. - Do you think I'm pretty? - Yeah, very pretty. - Oh. - Oh. - Happy Passover. - Happy Passover, my border. (laughing) - I'm not your border, I'm your Papa. - Oh, Papa. - I need to get into like a good zone of like Papa Elegium again. I need to like, that's like a lock in, but it just has to happen, which sucks. - You can't force that. - Oh, that was so fun. - I know, you can't force. We should have cat back on. - Yeah, we should. - Yeah. I do need, I wanna go, we're gonna do, I wanna make a business plan with her. - To move to Carmel by the sea? - I'm really like, I wanna do that as soon as possible to move to my beach town. - I don't want you to move to your beach town. - I really like, I'm like freaking out. It's like the 30 of it all. It's like I've gotta get started on the rest of my life. - You have, you're well beyond that. - But like at what, like when do you start your beach town? I'm talking about the whole town. - Yeah, okay, I love it. - I think I should move to the keys. - I don't know a thing about the keys. - Then I'm like, should I wait till I like, get married and it's like, I might not, you know? So it's like, maybe I should just do it alone with Kat. - I'm gonna show you this Portland India bit in the bonus, it's so funny. - I'm just like, I wish I knew an exact timeline of how my life was gonna play out so I could plan accordingly around my beach town. - There's several movies about that and it never works out in the way that you think. - I know, so that's why I'm like, then I should just do it now. 'Cause it's like, what am I waiting for? - I don't know. - You're waiting, you have so much happening right now. Maybe wait until you have a little like I have. Maybe I should start a beach town. - I think maybe I should just play Tiny Book Shop again. But I gotta crank up the volume. - Turn it up and not. - Yeah, let's turn it up and not. - Okay. - So I'm between the keys, Caramel by the sea. - Newport, Rhode Island. And I could do like a Nicholas Sparks type of like, Carolina. - Yeah. - I've never been to any of these places. (laughing) - You've never been to Caramel by the sea? - Oh, I know I need to go. I-- - Monorais also-- - Now my, where's that? - Near Carmel, I think, but-- - Yeah, that's like big little eyes, right? - Yeah, I just went to a wedding there and it was great. - Yeah, I've gotta go to these places if I'm gonna move there, which I am. - At least go do some on the ground field research. - It is crazy to-- - Come on, Ray. - Also Carmel by the sea looks fake. - This looks fake, too? - Yeah, it does. - But then I also wanna get out of California because of the taxes. - Okay, on the note on the taxes, let's wrap it up. But thank you guys so much for listening. I hope you enjoyed the black eye and the Carmel of it all. - We love it. - And we'll see you in the bonus. - Bye everyone. - And we'll see you hopefully at our live show if you're listening on Thursday, it's tomorrow. We'll see you tomorrow. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Come to San Diego. Irvine is next week and then Sacramento is also next week, next weekend. Okay, bye, thank you. (audience cheering)