Holmes Returns

- This is a head gum podcast. - Holmes and I were at a coffee shop and you were being pretty erratic in like a fun way. And I feel-- - I'm happier here. - For sure, but you were being really like extra erratic and I was like, "Hey, did you take your meds today?" And Holmes goes, "No, I don't do that anymore." (laughing) (upbeat music) - Holmes, what's going on with you? - You know, I'm really happy to be here. It's been like a couple of years since I saw you last, I guess. - Yeah, I've been avoiding you. (laughing) - Boundy bitch. - I've been-- - Yeah, how did you? How did you? How did you find me? - I mean, zoom in on the back of photos. You'll see me. - Oh. - You're back there? - You'll see me looking at you. - You're back there peering. - I actually did have coffee with someone yesterday and I was like, "I went to college at Florida State "and he was like me too." And I was like, "And it almost seemed like he knew it already." And I was like, "Did you know me before we met up "for this, you know?" Kind of freaked me out. - Did he? - He said no, but I couldn't. I didn't believe it. (laughing) He said no, but like I would bring up a memory he'd be like, "I know." And I'd be like, "Wait." (laughing) Dude, were you there? - He's like, "That top you used to wear, stop more here." You're like, "What?" - Yeah, he's like, "I love fucking you." I'm like, "Huh?" (laughing) - I'm like, "I know I drank back then, "but I think I remember who I was." - You did drink back then. - I did. - I wish I would have known you even then. I didn't know you then. - Well, you know what, actually, before the last episode we had, I had one drink, and now I didn't know how to ton of coffee. So, me looking at your camera, I can't see me at all. - You had a drink before the last episode. - No, it's like, not, I'm like, I'm like, I was, (laughing) I'm like, "I was terrified." - No. - It's a crazy reveal. That was nuts. You passed out, I was so casual. You're like, "Before the last time, you've never told me that." - Well, because I didn't do it for the episode, I was out with friends and they were having like five drinks, and I sat and didn't have one for a long time. And then finally, I was like, "I'll have one." And then, you know, I watched the episode, you know, I say the HPV thing, I was mad at you out the wash out, and I was like, "Well, the drink probably did that." (laughing) - No, I don't think the drink did that. - You're right. (laughing) That was just me. - It's so funny for you to be like, "Okay, before I did this last time, well, of course I had a couple shots." - I'm like, the last episode I had a vodka tamp on it. I don't know. (laughing) No, I wouldn't do that. - No, I'm happy with your drinking these days. - Thank you. I'm happy with yours. - Thank you, we both don't. - We don't. - Yeah. - Well, I don't allow it to the public. Since February, I've had four drinks, but it's all been one that night, yeah. One, it's been one at a time. - Person who definitely doesn't have a drinking problem. (laughing) Since February, I've had four, and they've been-- - Since February, I've had four, and I was on my best behavior. (laughing) I really was. Well, it's one of those things where like, God, sometimes I'm in a room that is so fucking loud and overwhelming, and it's like on those nights will be the ones where I'm like, "Oh, I really want to stay, but it would just help a little bit." And I try everything else, but then occasionally, yeah, I've had one. And then it'll be like, normally I'm like, this doesn't really do much, and that's why I continue to not do it. It doesn't really change very much, but I don't know. I think sometimes you know this about me. I'll go look all or nothing a lot. I'll be like, "I must be done, and that will solve it all." And so I think I'm letting myself be like, "Hey, no one called you an alcoholic. You called yourself one 'cause you wanted to solve some stuff." And then you stopped drinking and made a whole thing. I went to an AA meeting and I was like, "I don't have this." (laughing) But it was a really funny couple of weeks in our friendship for everybody. When home started sitting people down and being like, "Obviously, we've all been dying to talk about "and drinking problem." (laughing) We all the time were kind of like, "No, we thought you were having a good time, but. " - Well, I mean, I think that it's really. It would be so amazing to find like the one thing that was like, you know, fixed everything. - God. - And I thought that, I mean, it has helped. I do think it has helped my depression. Not drinking less has helped my depression, but yeah, I wasn't a full-blown alcoholic. It was funny. What I'll say about the meetings, which I know you're not supposed to talk about, but it's a horny environment, you know, 'cause the alcohol's not in there. People were staring me down. You know what I mean? And it was like, "Oh, they're like, you know, "people are wanting to get to something else "pretty quick, addiction-wise." - What? - Do you know what I mean? - No. (laughing) - I mean, what do you just say? People were staring you down. - Like, it felt like if I lingered. It felt like if I lingered, I contact with someone long enough, we could fuck right after. Because it was like, "Hey, you know what we won't be doing "after this, go into the bar, but we could." - You'd go home, yeah. - Yeah, I'd come to my place, you know? - That's interesting, I've heard this, I guess, but I didn't, I staring you down feels so intense. - Well, staring me down, I mean, it was one or two. It looks like I walk in, everyone's like (laughing) everyone's like, "I'll do you tonight." No, it wasn't like that. It just like, it made sense to me that I was like, "Yeah, you would shift." That's something else I felt was I was like, "Okay, right when I stopped drinking." Actually, someone did say something interesting to me after her, 'cause I was like, "I don't know if I have this." And he was like, "Yeah, but you smoke weed a lot, right?" And I was like, "Hey, don't be rude about it." I was like, "I do." And he was like, "Well, when I stopped drinking at first, "well, I would smoke weed instead, "but then right when I quit weed, "I have to drink again." So it's one of those things where like, and that did kind of call me out in a sense of like, "I do smoke weed most nights." And I'm like, "If I did quit weed, "I wonder if I would start to drink more." Like, I definitely am someone who like has a vice. I just think I'm pretty healthy with them now, but, you know, it'd be cool if someday I could lose them all. - Yeah. - What's yours? What's your vice? - My vice? - Yeah. Um, weed and food. Food is the most conscious choice that I make where I'm like, "I'm trying to get better at this, "but I, because I'll do it in times that are inopportune." Like, to me, I'm like, "I don't drink, "I haven't drink at this point in years." I don't really drink. I don't do any hard drugs. I didn't smoke weed until I was like 27. I don't smoke cigarettes. I don't really do like crazy. - Different 27 club, right? - Hey, come on. - Sorry. - It's okay. That was beautiful. - It was starting to weed at 27. - I choose to live, actually. - Sorry. - I'm choosing to live after 27. But yeah, so I'm like, I'll eat garbage and be like, "You shouldn't be eating this garbage, "but it is fun." - Yeah. - But then sometimes you do it and it's like, it's 2 a.m. while you're ordering Taco Bell. You know you're gonna feel like shit when you have to get up at 8 a.m. - The other night I had one big time whereas like I really could have gone to bed and I ordered food just 'cause I was like, it just is like a comfort, that's the thing, it's like the same as weed. It's like, I want something that's cozy and it's like, I feel better than when I drink. That's for sure. But yeah, I had like ordered from, I mean when the place is called something like Munchy Funchy or something, you know what I mean? - Those door dashes names get dark quick. - Yeah, right, right. What it's like. - It's like bitch, don't grow my shoes. (all laughing) - I'm on their high, it's like hide alone. I'm like, that's like, I'm gonna. - It's like, you're ready to fuck up your life. I'm like, order. - Order. - It really is always really nasty names for real. - Yeah, it's like sluddy wings and fucked up tots. - Literally, it's like feel shitty. I'm like, woo! - Come like add to cart, add to cart. - I know. - And I do and then I eat it. - Well the other night, one of the items looked so nasty that I was like, that's helpful. So I didn't do all of it, but yeah, I had some like, you know, corn bites or something. And you can tell when the late night ones, they're not making it, they're not, the chef had to have passion to it. They're putting that shit in the microwave. - The chef, it's a guy microwaving it in his house, by the way. - Yeah, yeah. It's a ghost kitchen. It's like a comedian we're friends with, it's a gaside hustle for real. - I know that I'm never gonna like, truly lose a bunch of weight because most people who do, they have like a lowest of low moment and I've had one so many times. - And just blown right past it. I got tricked. I got tricked once. - Oh my God. - I got tricked once on Dordash into ordering red lobster. And when it came, it came nothing like red lobster. Why would you even order that? - I was just, hi, I was enjoying the idea of it. It was just, I then I looked it up some guy at his house. It was like a ghost kitchen on Yelp. - No, no, no, it was a guy's car red lobster. - Somehow they can make it look like red lobster sometimes. - God, it was a lobster. It was a lobster, what it was called like funky chunky or something. - No, dude, it was called red lobster. I'm telling you, they do this with cracker barrel too. It would be like cracker barrel kitchen, which is not for me, but other people. - You're one of my thin friends. It's like the most annoyingly supportive of fat people, actually. - I'm like, what are the thin friends who's like the anti-fat bias? - Yeah, I'm just having like a regular Tuesday and you're like the way we treat fat people is sick. (laughing) And I'm like, wait, it's lunch, you know what I mean? - I really mean it, I mean, it just, well, honestly, it's bad, girl, but my mom was fat. And it was like a thing that it's like, I remember so much like it being this thing that made her feel bad, not because she, my mom was like stunning. And I was always like, why am I so beautiful in hating herself? And I was like, oh, 'cause people are like being horrible to her. - Yeah. - And so then it made me, like I remember, the last time we were playing this game growing up and, um, it was like a Imagine F. And we were with her, our extended family. And someone, there was a joke about like blimp or something, like a blimp in everyone. Like you have to say, like, who's the most like this, or whatever, and everyone writes a name at a table? And it was like, who's the most like a blimp in everyone put my mom's name? And it was like, they all kind of laughed, right? Okay, whatever they all thought, they all kind of laughed. - Poor me. - You know, well, I, I was like 11 and I started sobbing. And I was like, you guys are cruel. And my mom was like, it's okay, Chelsea, it's okay. And like, it was one of those things where I was like, I did hear really passionate about it, pissed me off. You're like, you're like out of Ode to Kathy for blimp. - No. - I wouldn't have put Kathy as blimp, but I'm telling you right now. - Oh, no. - If I was in the game and everyone wrote blimp for Caleb, I would laugh. - No, we wouldn't laugh. - No, well, first of all, it's like, who the fuck wrote blimp? It's like, the writers of this are like, fat bitches going down. - You know what I mean? - Like, ruined some woman's Thanksgiving. - Wait, what the hell? No, but I just remember it always made me mad because my mom was like, honestly, like kind of the most stunning in the family. So it just like did it, yeah, it made me really, uh, and it also ruined a chunk of my life. Everyone's like three really good years of my life that I had eating disorder that was, I was so boring and disgusting during those years and, um, yeah, I just think it's like taking some of our best. - Yeah. - It also like, I mean, whatever. Look, you get me started. You're like, she's a thin friend who's annoying about it. I'm like, don't give me started. - You're like, watch me prove it. - I mean, it just is like, I think that the main thing that we're mad at is all the same, which is like fucking billionaires and stuff. And it's like a lot of this, it's the shame that is around, uh, weight stuff for me is really just tied to money. Like once I learned that, that was this big freedom. I'm like, when I learned like, wait, watchers didn't start their kid program until they were going bankrupt. That was like a big freedom for me. 'Cause growing up, like, yeah, I was being put on diets left and right and stuff like that. - Also, you said, I think we're all actually mad at billionaires. I wish that were true. I actually wish we could get more people mad at billionaires. I will never in a million years understand why so many people who should be mad at billionaires the way that some of us Rightchously are yeah are still doing this fucking like And they're like going off about these stupid like they're like oh, I don't want you should have to have the right papers to run a Talkos the end in my city and you shouldn't they shouldn't have male cheerleaders at the football games were well You're so fucking far off track dude. It's crazy. I agree No, I think that that is the thing that like makes me the most mad is that I'm like I know more people actually don't want to just like people don't want to just like have sex or be friends with like really frail people I know that that's not reality, but when now it's tied to money That's why most people I know are even engaging in it like the people I know who are engaging in weight loss who like Don't want to engage in weight loss or doing it only because they're like I this will help me make more money Yeah, I'm like what a nightmare. Yeah, and it's true. And it's true. Yeah, and it's true And it's true. Have you ever do a crazy diet? That was like so stupid No, I'm not I've never I'm like really I know that I'm not cut out for trying to lose weight because I've never done like a crazy diet I've done like I've done yo-yo diets, but nothing insane like I'm so fucking jealous of that on I can't even get to the point where like like I'm not even kidding There was a time like two years ago when I really I know that I would get more work if I was thinner like that's just a reality And there was a time like two years ago when I really considered it and like the second time I was supposed to go to the gym And have a really hard workout. I was like I got distracted thinking about how I was gonna talk about it when I lost all the weight And then I didn't go to the gym Like I was like I was like when I lose the weight I'm gonna like really this is how I'm gonna talk about it and did you feel like I woke up and I had missed the gym So it's like it this what the extreme weight loss thing is like not for me. It's never coming for me We did you did you were you kind of like sad when you thought about talking about it? Like you're like my fans are gonna be like kind of like sad that I did this No, I just think that when people lose a bunch of weight who were fat they often change on a dime and go to this very like a Lot of people have a like a fascist that cop within them that will come out whenever the time is right Yeah, a lot of people who lose a bunch of weight access that part quickly where they're like I was fucking miserable It's disgusting what I was promoting and it's like and I know I'll never go back Yeah, and it's like no actually I think you were quite happy and then you made a choice to lose a bunch of weight and that's so so for me I'm like when I say how I would talk about it is I just don't think I would talk about it and the reason I go is like Okay, but you were wanted to talk about your body when you were fat So then if you were thin you wouldn't want to talk about it Why is that and I'm like oh? I actually know why the reason is because it's interesting to talk about being fat in a society that hates fat people So I find it compelling to talk about my weight in my body right now If I were for some reason to lose a bunch of weight if a medical reason came up that I needed to or if anything Like that were to happen which I don't currently actually lose some weight and then everyone's like kid job And it's like shut the fuck up if that were to happen I would just not talk about it or engage with discussion about it because I don't view it as an accomplishment and I then it wouldn't be interesting because then you're talking about a body that is closer to or in alignment with the beauty standard and the so then it's like why would I talk about that right? Do you know what I mean? It's not interesting now. Yeah, I mean I really understand I mean I feel like the reason that I would ever talk about like you know Any type of womanhood on stage is oftentimes related to like oppression, you know Like I wouldn't come up as much. I feel like if it wasn't like scary to live as a woman or you know Yeah, I think what happens is so many people So many people do so many people that are fat and then lose a bunch of weight especially in the public eye They have they do have things that they should have fixed about themselves that weren't white related and then when they lose the Weight they feel all this gratitude and validation and so they want to honor it and they want to be like Thank you for the validation. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you And it's like actually what you should do with that validation is laugh at it because you don't deserve it It's silly. It's silly to get validation for losing weight. I'm sorry. It is. Oh, I mean it's like whatever That doesn't matter to me. It actually matters in a way that's like it's really upsetting and what I'll say is like I like I've lost weight for reasons that are like like when I stop drinking as much. I like lost some weight and I Yeah, wasn't trying to and then like it makes it I think it's some darkest part It makes me I think if it should make you feel anything it should be like devastating and I don't like those people anymore Like when someone compliments me on a weight loss and I'd never have said anywhere publicly that I'm like That's a goal of mine or something. I like like you less immediately See, and that's the difference too is like I feel like when that happened for you. I remember us talking about We were kind of having two conversations at once where you were like people that aren't close to me are complimenting my weight loss and it's making me ill Making me really depressed and then I was like Yes, also I would love to check in on your weight Because I know you and know that you're not trying and do you have a passive eating disorders et cetera And so it's different when if I were to lose a bunch of weight I would expect the people close to me to be like hey, no worries But is there anything we need to talk about that's exactly what I mean 100% and I think a lot of people Don't feel comfortable asking are you okay? Because they think that that could be like a triggering some triggering or something and what I would say and I'm sure people disagree But I say if a friend is losing weight at a and you notice when you are one-on-one like Have a check-in in that way. I would say yeah I've had a check-ins with friends and they're like no one has brought this up at all yet Yeah, and then they'll be like I like I'm not okay at all like I'm not eating you know And oftentimes it doesn't have to do a trying to lose weight We'll have to do like a death or you know a break up or something like that. Yeah My favorite thing that you do It one of one of my favorite things that you do there's a long list Sometimes if there's if there's something in a group of friends that desperately needs to be said Completely wrong place wrong time Wrong place wrong time homes homes just in the group will go like you have a needing disorder Like dinner six people not the right time not the right place Well, you know what and I say that is really true That is so true to me homes will be like you're being weird everyone in the friend group lately because of your dad I'll be like people think you're mean everyone's scared to say it It'll be a hundred percent true and everyone else the friend will be like homes God damn yeah, and then they'll be I'll be like later on big are you proud of me and they'll be like it was really the wrong place This happened the other day actually I really ran into someone I hadn't seen for a long time And I was like my friend is dating your ex Homes it everyone was like hey like but I was like that's how I know and that's how I thought of her whatever in any way She handled it really well but my friend after I feel like it should make people feel safe like I'm not gonna lie to you Yeah, I feel that you won't lie to me. Do you do you feel safe around me? I'm gonna say feel safe. I don't know I don't I don't think yeah, yeah, I guess so I don't like think about like you being say I feel safer. I'm pretty much everybody There's no. What do you mean I mean I be safe around we can't I yeah, you're right. We can say names We all we all look at chance. I want no No, I'm like he does he does he is quite mean to me on camera more than saved. Don't you feel like it's like More than safe. Don't you feel like you you love that about me in a real way Like you said it's one of your favorite things because you like they're like sometimes sometimes sorry I don't love it because you make me feel safe I love it because I think it's hilarious and you love it because it needs to be said and sometimes Shit is boring. Why get tired of doing it. Yeah, I'm the one I get tired of doing it when you're not around so when you come around and you're like everyone's being weird because she's being a bitch I'm like, thank you. I know. No, we both are the people who do it It was also like I don't know like it's that thing of Sometimes I'm bored of us not talking about it when we talk about it We get to somewhere really interesting fast normally. Yeah, we just talk about the thing. That's true You know, yeah, never I did I was laughing really hard this morning thinking about The other day where you homes and I were at a coffee shop and you were being pretty erratic in like a fun way and I Happier here for sure and you but you were being really like extra erratic and I was like I was like hey Did you take your meds today? I don't do that anymore And I was like okay. Oh, yeah, I don't do that anymore. I was on zoop for ten years I'm here to say I'm not on zoop left anymore and honestly it's Well, okay, here's what I'd like to say I'm also first guys at our all which is so crazy that like I could be this Insane and they're like actually go on an upper because we want you to work more It's like you want this bitch to go to work harder like that's crazy to me But for the so lots of it all I think that hey if you need to be medicated for your mental health be medicated I support medication. I also think this thing is going on where like our Country in the world are in like pretty fucked places and Like groups are getting more and more scared for their life And like really really fair ways and then we're going to like a therapist about it or psychiatrist Which I love therapy, but you'll go to psychiatrist and they'll be okay. You know what the solution is Let's get you medicated So you don't have to feel sad about this and I understand that and if it's in a place where you're going to kill yourself Please take the medicine But I think it does bother me a little bit that like a lot of feelings of sadness I am having are like really Not chemical imbalance are like really valid because I'm like No billionaires are like taking money from everyone like everyone. I know doesn't have enough money You know like oh, we're having like black and brown people taking off the streets all the time for doing nothing And so I think that that has been bothering me lately because I've had more and more friends who've like never been medicated or starting to get medicated right now and it just is like Yeah, I think that chemical depression is a thing bipolar, you know OCD please like take your meds if they make sure life better I just do want it to be like hey, let's have like a long-term solution Which is like fixing these things that are making everyone really depressed Yeah, I feel like gaslighting at a certain point when when it's like this There's this thing that I feel like has always been in conflict which is like the societal Push on everyone to be happy all the time happy as like a state of being and happy as like a happy as a description of a person Like are you a happy person right? It's like well. No, that's not a description of a person I am sometimes quite happy. I am sometimes quite sad. I would love to be happy more often than I'm sad but there's that there's that push from society and messaging to be a Catholic capital H, capital P, happy person, which doesn't exist. And that's not how people work. - Right. - And then at the same time, it's coinciding with really bleak, sad, dark, fucked up realities of immigrants getting rounded up in the streets and the ability, like too many things actually to keep track of. - Too many things. And then it's like they're like, hey, so don't actually ignore all that and take this medication. So you maybe you don't even feel anything at all. And it just is like, once again, I can't say enough. Please take your meds if you need your meds. I just do want to validate the people who are like, I wish I wasn't spending more. I think it makes me upset too because meds cost money. So I'm like, we're telling like broke people to pay more money to feel sad about things that like shouldn't be going on at all. - Yeah. Well, yeah, and it's like, look that, but this is the constant give and take, right? Of like what we can do is get you on meds if you need them right now. Take your meds if you need them. What we can't do is wake up tomorrow and have a better country for immigrants, right? So like we can't just, we can't, like if you were my therapist, you and I can't make that happen much as we would like to. - Therapists are not doing well right now. - No, so it's like we have to find the solution that's gonna help you work through all of it as you work, but there has to be some kind of like acknowledgement that being sad is a natural response to, yeah, I am a happy person and I'm trying to be happy at the same time that I do the work and hold the despair and like, I want to like work on the things that I think I can help make better while also being sad about them. - Me too. - And also having fun. I'm trying to get about all of those. - Yes. - But it does feel crazy sometimes when people are like, oh well, the point is being happy and I'm like, right, but everything is stacked against us right now. It feels like. - Right. And I think that even like, I don't know, we're talking about weight loss or a second ago. And for me, like movement was really like taken from me at a young age. I felt like like running and any type of working out, it was a, which is something that does actually give me chemicals to feel happier, but it was so associated with like losing that for weight too. This guy wants to have sex with you. And I was like, I don't really like that guy. So actually no things. And now in the last like, I don't know. And I don't know, the last like 10 years, I guess I've gotten better and better at being like, oh, I really like like exercise because it makes me not want to kill myself. - I think really the last four years too. - I kind of, yeah. - I think you've gotten really, really good at being like, I've heard you be like, I have to move my body or I'm going to feel like shitly. Like I've heard you say it out loud more, you know? - Yes, I will because I think I want people to, I think it's so associated with weight loss and it really bugs me because it's so like, even like Pilates for example is like so associated with like white bougie girl who is like, you know, like get Gracie Abraham abs or whatever. And it's like, or like don't kill yourself, you know? Like for me, it's like very associated with like, no, that actually was meditative to me. I couldn't look at my phone. I was in a class like with a group of people. And we all like got stronger. And I got some endorphins. And it doesn't have to do with what my body looks like at all. In fact, my boobs lost two sizes, which has sucked. - I know, I've hated looking at your boobs since then. - Well it has sucked because it's like, - I used to love them because they were so big and fun. - I didn't know how much I was relying on them. I didn't know how much it was like a little tool to if I just like wanted like something, just like big boobs like boobs have a hold on people in a way that people aren't addressing. - I know. - Like I've been saying this since childhood. - Yeah, shut up. - I'm like, what is the thing with boobs? - What is the thing with, I feel like even for gay guys, it does sometimes. - I did Stovey's podcast yesterday and he was talking about how much he loves big tits. - No, literally. - I in the moment had to say, Stove I've never felt further away from you. Like I was just like to hear you talk like that. And I know that you're like that, but I'm like to hear you talk like that is so upsetting. I feel far from my friend. - I mean, I think I'm forgiving about boobs stuff more than other people because like growing up, being dipping my mom was like a huge pastime for me. Like I like loved to be in dip my mom in a way that like she like really didn't like it, but I thought it was so funny. - You're like, do not call my mom a blimp be that. (laughing) - Are you a friend or a foe? - I was like, my mom is fucking stunning. Ooh, ooh, yeah, it was really, really bad. Well, one time I was like. - You think she's fat? Look at this. (laughing) - I'm like, she's gonna lose weight. These are gonna be gone. No, my dad one time did it, I guess, because he like, when I was out of town, he did it because he was like missing me and she like called me and she was like, you've created a huge issue. (laughing) She was like, Tom just being a big topic. - I wish to tell me you're dad. Your dad, like Tom, like homes his dad is one of my favorite people on earth. And his energy's very like, hey, guys, how's it going? - Well, he has three woman-looted things around. - He's just so weird around. - He's like, I'll have like, really big feelings. I mean, we're all like, very smart and cool too. - I remember the first time that I was around and he got to talk about football with someone and I thought he was gonna cry. (laughing) - Well, it was crazy. - I told you one time that we found him, we lived in, but at the time, my parents lived in like a high-rise apartment, like an apartment building, no backyard, high up. And we, he went to the bathroom in my mom and I saw that he was like, searching grills. No, we're for a grill. And it was like one of those things where I was like, he wanted like a whole different life than we gave him. He wanted to be like at like playing football and like grilling with the boys. - Truly. - And instead of we were like, I was like really, really bad at sports and I was like, you will be going to musicals and we will be lashing out. - I remember the first time I really connected with your dad was that it was all of, it was you and you're sibling and Kathy and I went over to Tom. He was like sitting off somewhere on the side and I was like, I was like, Tom, what do you think of the chiefs this season? And he was like, uh. (laughing) Well, I'm feeling pretty good. You know, he was like, he was gonna cry. - He's like, we can talk about wicked if you want. (laughing) No, he's so useless. Well, my favorite-- - He's like, Bobby doesn't talk about sports. Bobby talks about wicked. (laughing) - I mean, he does love a fantasy book. That's why he's very surprising. Like, it's really, really cool. He just retired. He just retired and he's finally like letting himself like think about like a larger ideas, which is really beautiful to watch. But I want to give my dad a credit 'cause I talk about how much I love my mom so much. I'm obsessed with her, she's so funny. Where my dad, like, the thing I love the most about him is he changes his mind. Like, I remember when I went to college, I was like, we've only been to three fights my whole life. And I remember when I went to college, we, oh, I came back to visit him and my mom for a second and I was like, oh my god, we were drinking IPA's together. That was like a big thing we had in common. And he was, I was like, everyone at college is gonna be sad. Like, all the girls are getting, all the time, it's out of control. And he was like, he got really upset because like, he would never, and he was like, he was like really heated, he was like, no. He was like, the cops would catch 'em, you know? And I was like, they're not catching 'em. And we got in like this huge fight for real. And then literally, like two weeks later, he called me and he was like, honey, I'm so sorry. The cops are not catching 'em. (laughing) And he like, fully admitted that he was wrong. He was like, I read some articles. It is a huge problem on college campuses. Like, I did not know. And it's like, he's always been like that, like, Republican to Democrat. He is always like, just like, he had two daughters to like, want to talk about, like, who want him to learn. And like, we learn from him all the time. And he like, actually learns and changes his mind. And I just think that like, was the most beautiful thing I could ever learn from a dad. - Yeah. That is beautiful. - Well, shout out, change in your mind. I know, when's the last time you change, you know, I love to ask this. When's the last time you changed your mind? - I don't need to. - You have all the perfect views. - Yeah, I don't need to. - Okay, what's the last thing you learn that excited you? - I'm trying to think if I have changed my mind. What have I changed my mind about? - You would know. - Last time you said ice cream. - Last time I asked you, you liked pistachio ice cream. - What else is there? You would know. You know, what have I changed my mind about? You would know better than me and maybe. - I think sometimes people, which I wouldn't name any of them. I think sometimes like a person will like, we'll change our mind on people sometimes. - Very rarely. I'll admit it though. I will say, I'll admit what I'm doing with somebody. - I think like, I think like sometimes. Yeah, we can get about impression and then. - Yeah, but I'm almost always right about that. Is the day. I really am. I really am. I will say, I admit, I've come to you and been like, hey, that person I told you I didn't like. I was wrong about them. They turned out to be very cool. But I am almost always right about that one. I think more often than changing my mind about someone, I get proven right and that's really fun. - Shut up. You do change your mind sometimes. - Sometimes when I'm saying every time every person I've tried to think of that I had a negative opinion of what I'm thinking of is the time I learned more than I was right. There's a hole in my sock that I know is gonna come up. And my socks are like, these are clean socks, mind you? But they have just like a bunch of fucking lint on them. I really understand. I mean, my washer and dryer is a nightmare. - Why do my socks always get fuzzies on them? - They get fuzzies on them. I don't randomly all pull them out. They'll have, I told you, my clothes will have oil on them. I'll have like, oh, they'll have oil on them. The washer and I live in a place right now, washer and dryer. And- - Well, not in the camera's chance. - Hey, chance. It has a mold smell. - Oh my god. - Obviously we'll cut this. It's just like, it gets to a point. (laughing) - God fuck, chance. - Thank you, chance. - Yeah, I'm not doing the bit. (laughing) - What? - Come see me, I chance give me a kiss. - Yeah, it's okay. - Well, I think I'm actually maybe not very good at doing bits on podcasts. - Have you, what? - Look, I feel like I'm like, (laughing) - Look, I think somebody- - All you do is bits. - Like I just like wanna talk, like I think I'm just like talking to a friend. Like I think people would be surprised about how much our relationship is actually serious and then how we do comedy. Like we laugh all the time. - Yeah. - But like we also like, you know what I mean? Like we're not like doing bits all the time us. - No, I don't get to a lot. I have to feel a lot of crises. I'm just a shot of. - With you. - I mean, whatever. I mean, maybe I'm wrong. Do you know what someone's like, I have a new bit? - What? - Like when people are like, I have a new bit I wanna do. And I'm always like, I'm never, we're not doing that in our friendship. I mean, I'll just do it. I mean, I'll trust fall on me or whatever. - What? - You're like, "Bits!" Like, do you do what I'm talking to you? - I know I'm just confused about what you mean, like specifically on podcasts or like in life. - Just in like day to day life. Like I'm like, I don't think I'm like super bitty. Like I think I'm like, kind of wild and weirdo all the time. But I'm not like, this is my new bit that's going around. - Yeah, okay, I guess I do know what you mean. - Okay. - You don't have like, yeah, yeah, sorry. I was just supposed to really-- - No, I'm just saying like I'm like, maybe it's like, you need to be medicated again to scratch everything we said. - I'm not sure that you don't need to be medicated again. (laughing) I'm keeping tabs, I'm looking into things for you. - I don't even, have you ever tried medication? - No, I'm strong. (laughing) - I shot up. - Kidding, kidding. - I'm really strong and I don't even med. I've tried meds, I consider it though. Yeah. - The issue for me with meds is that I'm like sure. Do I think that it's hard because I'm not depressed anymore and that was my big thing. That was like my big suicidal depression was my big thing. - And that's fucking huge. - And I got over it on my own. And there's no, if you get over with meds, if you get over it without them, it doesn't matter. Getting over it with meds is also getting over it on your own just in a different way. - How much do you think is side the money? Being less suppressed? - I fixed it before that. I fixed it before money. But money, I have said many times on this show. Anybody who tells you that money won't fix your problems is a lot. (laughing) - I got some money and pretty much everything went away. (laughing) - I mean, it's crazy. And I, no, I know what they mean when they say that. But it's like, yeah, any idiot would know that. Like, they're like, it won't make you not like, deal with regular stuff that humans deal with. It's like, duh. But it did fix like, most of my material problems, like being able to help my mom with her bills. She doesn't need help. But being able to help her with her bills. - You do, yeah. - Knowing she's taken care of, knowing that I have a place like even having a house that like, I don't stay at all the time that I can let people stay at for free. Like, that kind of stuff gives you, I don't know if like, security and worth as well. That like, yeah, money fixed pretty much all my problems. (laughing) But I worked on my mental health. Luckily, I got to replace my mental health before that that was good. - You did. - And also, I don't, I'm glad that I loved myself before I got attention. Because attention is, we really don't have to talk about it. I talk about it simply too much. But attention is a really insidious force. And it's very poisonous. And I think I've watched so many smart, charming, lovely people fall prey to fame. And they become so boring and psychotic and out of touch and crazy that you just see how poisonous it is. And if you don't love yourself before you get it, it'll destroy you, I think. - Totally. I feel like, I mean, you know me, like I've actively hurt my career multiple times from trying to run away from attention because I get so scared of losing myself, I feel. - Yeah, do you want to put your finger in my sock? - I do. Look at that. Oh, I can't actually, it's not big enough yet. - You can, it's just, there's a toe right there. There's a toe right there. - I got big, look at this. Do whatever you want to do with this footage, okay? - Ew. (laughing) - Don't make it sexual while you're in there. - Whatever. - You're in my crevasse. - Okay, in my crevasse. - Maybe sexual when you're in my crevasse. - Whatever. - Stop. I know we're gonna hook up someday. It's like not necessary to talk about. - Well, I wanted to bring it up because I was like, (laughing) No, I wanted to bring up this. I think sometimes that something that people don't always know about you is how you romantic you make your friendships. And I was like, do you, I actually was curious to ask you sometimes like, do you do that intentionally? Like are you like, are you aware of that you make sure your friendships have like a level of romance to them? Like sometimes I have more romance to romance with you than like I will with a subcrush. So that's actually a different problem than you think it is. (laughing) - It's really sweet. Like it's like, I don't know. Like it feels like this thing of like, I don't know, do you only consider romance and romantic relationships? I mean, and that was done to say only and like sexual relationships? - No, I think life is romantic. I have, I think there are romance in my friendships, but I don't, I think that what you're keying in on is just that you're kind of, um, yeah. (laughing) - Our friendships are romantic. - Our friendship is romantic. - And then also you get around someone you have a crush on and behave in a way that like, you're like Nell from the movie Nell. (laughing) - Don't fucking bring Nell into this. - You start acting like Nell. - No, it's actually so scary 'cause I love it. - It's crazy. - Because I love the trees as well. (laughing) - It's completely Nell mode. - Nell and I have so much to go with it. (laughing) - I have more to come out of the Nell than Alex Cooper. - I mean. (laughing) - I made home show me their hints. Profile the other day. (laughing) - And it wasn't horrible. - No, it wasn't horrible. One of the slides was just a video of trees with no context and I was like. - And they were like frozen. - Yeah, I was like winter trees and I was like, "Hey, so this is the kind of thing that's gonna not make a ton of sense to somebody who doesn't know, like I know what the trees mean to you." But I'm like, maybe we put like, at least a joke caption on it or anything at all to make the trees make sense on the profile. - I need them to know that they're gonna come up, you know? - No, I'm totally agree, the tree, it's something to know about you is the thing with the trees, but. - Is it the thing with the trees? - But I'm like, we need to include some context. Otherwise, you look a little bit like a serial killer. - I would never, I would never kill. I would never, were you ever obsessed with a serial killer like growing up? Would you research them a ton? - Oh, sure, I'm plenty of them. I think they're fascinating. - Right, 'cause they had to have a charisma. - They had a charisma and also you used, we used to have so many more serial killers before the like surveillance state. - Before DNA testing too. - Yeah, and now that we live in the Panopticon, you can't really have serial killers much anymore. But, which is quite quick with surveillance, we're getting some goods as a mass. We're getting rid of serial killers. - That's cool. - We're also living a life that none of us recognize. - No one's eating, no energy to kill. - Quite sad, yeah. But before the Panopticon, you used to have really interesting serial killers. - It was crazy. I remember Florida State, it was said Bundy's last stop, and I like went to school there. - What, last stop? - Last stop. - On his tour. - Yeah, last stop. Hey guys, I'm coming through, Tallah Nasty. - He kind of did a campus tour, yeah. He did a campus tour, and it was a scary energy. People talked about it, it was a nightmare, and yeah, I researched it so much that I was just like, you should like study other things you're into, you know? - Yeah. - It's like Ted Bundy over and over. - It's just scary too. Now we know so much, and we're so distrustful of each other, because it really used to be like, I feel like in the 70s, a guy with like his arm in a sling would just be like, can you have me put these rugs in this van, and it's the middle of the night, and a single woman would be like, "Absolutely!" - Might. - Now we don't trust each other because it turned into fucking killings. I know, my aunt, Carol, you still literally a hitchhike to work every day. - That's cool. - They'll tell stories like that, and I'm like, every day. - You should be able to do shit like that. - Well, something that we're not talking about enough is that I actually think like 80% of people are good. I really actually think like 80%. Like people think it's like 50, 50, 50, we're so divided. I'm like, no, I really think these like, there's like a 20% lunatic pocket, and they're like really, really making the 80% like everyone mad at each other. I don't think it's that many. - I think the 10, 80, 10 rule is true about most things. And in terms of people, I think it's 10% of people are truly evil, like truly, truly evil people. - Shout out. - 10% are truly angelic, like undeniably good, and the other 80 are just floating kind of somewhere in the day to day. That seems more correct to me. - You're angelic? - For sure. (laughing) No, I think I'm probably in the 80. - I'm probably in the 80. We know some of the 10s. - We know some of the 10s. I think you are one of the 10s. - Thank you, that's very sweet. I put you in the 80. (laughing) - No, I don't think it's probably with people. I don't think it's probably actually 10, 80, 10. I think it's like really truly evil, horrible people. I think it's really, truly like less than a percent. Like I just don't think most people are like that. - I think it's really, really small. And I think that they've done with some really, really good work recently. I like making us think it's a lot more. - Well, also evil people have just done some good work recently. - They've done some good work recently. - Like evil, you got to love. We're living through the 90s bowls right now. - You got to love this shit, exactly. - Steven Miller's evil freak ass is like, he's in power somehow and he's getting the shit done. - They, I know, but they're started, they'd be upset. Like I saw Curtis Yarven the other day was like, this is a mess, I'm going to leave the country. And I was like, oh, you guys are fighting. - Okay, the girls are fighting, yeah. - The girls are fighting, which means the world, you know? I know. - I would say, if I said what I thought about Steven Miller on this podcast. (laughing) I would be in one of those old, timey medieval. (laughing) - Town square stalks by tomorrow morning. - Let me ask you this. - Okay. - Would you, would you live in a world with no phones if you could even though this is such a part of your life? - Do I have to be poor in it? - Do you have to be so crazy? I'm like, and you have to be living in the streets. No, no, you don't have to. You don't have to be at all. - I get to have the life I have now, but none of us have phones. - I didn't say that. You get to, I don't know that your financial situation, it could be, but there's no phones, phones never existed versus they existed. - Yeah. I would undo them. I would have, if I had my power, no matter what it did to my life, I would stop us at the Blackberry. And the Blackberry was should have been the end of it. - Yeah. - The Blackberry should have been the end of it. People were emailing on there, they were texting, but it was kind of hard. - I don't even know who created it. - They had phone calls, we didn't need to, we didn't need to, we didn't need to, we didn't need to know about these streets. - Like that rocks, like I love that, I didn't know that. - We didn't need to know about fucking CEOs. - I know, it's probably like Sierra Blackberry, but that doesn't matter, it's like. - It was a girl. - It might have been a girl, but I don't think her name was probably Sierra Blackberry. (laughing) - We know who she was. - It was. - We know, we know Sierra Blackberry. - I miss her. - Yeah, I love her. I miss somebody I never met. - All the time. Well, the other day, the other day we were talking about missing people and having to be like a person, like having to be like missing someone versus like a specific person versus just like the feeling of like longing for love, you know, and that I quoted Florence in the machine and Caleb said never do that again to me. - Well, we were having like an earnest conversation about like missing a person versus missing a love, and when they're the same and when they're different, and missing like a routine, and we were being very vulnerable, and then Holmes goes, - I want you so badly, you could be anyone. - Holmes goes, this is exactly what Holmes did to me. Holmes goes, I want you so badly, you could be anyone, Florence in the machine. (laughing) And it stopped me, dead in my tracks, and I went, okay, don't ever do that again. But absolutely. - Well, okay, so there's a book called, I believe it's called "They Can't Kill" "Suntil They Kill Us" by Hanif Otoraki. - He's amazing. - He's amazing. - I love that book. - And I love that book. And I wasn't a big Florence person, and he talked about that in it, and I really stuck with me because I feel like I feel that feeling a really a lot, and I used to let that have me be in romance of relationships sometimes when I wasn't ready, because I had that feeling so strongly. And yeah, I just like, that book is just so good because I'm just like, I don't know, because I want music all day long. But it was, you're right, I should have just locked in and not brought up a quote. (laughing) I'm like, "Dr. Seuss." - It was beautiful. No, I do love that book, his reviews are incredible. - He's so incredible, and I just like, you know, like live shows, comedy, music, they mean so much to me in every single way. I think live performance has like saved my life. I really believe that. And yeah, he does such a good job at like, talking about it while also like, connecting it with our day-to-day life. - Yeah. What are you excited about right now? What's making you excited? - I'm really excited that I live here. - You moved to New York, this is huge. - I moved to New York, I feel-- - You kind of fought me tooth and nail every step of the way, but we got it done. - I feel really, really, I feel really happy about it. I feel really lucky about it. And I also feel really excited about the fact that I mean, I feel like you're gonna make fun of me, but I feel really excited about like, the people power right now. Like I feel excited that I know that we are going to get through this. I have like, hope finally again. Like I had like, I would say this summer, I was lacking hope, but I was doing, I was, you know, I was doing everything I could with people. And I was like, you know, I was gonna be in LA so much. And I just didn't have hope. I was just feeling really, really, really down at the same time. And I have hope again in a real way. And I think it's because I drove across the country. I haven't taught to move here. I've been talking to so many people all the time. And I'm just like, I really, really, really believe that 80% thing that I talked about. And I think that in the next, I think in my lifetime, I'm going to see like us not be run by billionaires. I think I'm gonna see that. Like I'll talk to some people and they're like, I don't think that I'll see that in my lifetime. And I'm like, I think I'll really see it in my lifetime. So those are the things I feel excited about. I feel like excited about like, general humanity for real. And then I also feel really excited to live in New York in a way that like, I couldn't have afforded when I got right out of college in like a lot of my friends moved here right then. And I couldn't afford that. I lived in Chicago, which was the best decision of my life. And now I get to live here in, it's just the best ever. And I've been out at like shows all the time. It just, yeah, it makes me really happy. - It's so funny the things you think I'm gonna make fun of you for. Because you, right before you say "Forens and Machines", that doesn't trigger in your brain. (laughing) But right before you say you're like inspired by people power or something that we talk earnestly about like every day of our lives. - Well, I just like, I didn't know if the wording would, I just, yeah, I feel really, really inspired about that right now. I do. And I feel the New York, I feel happier about too 'cause I'm gonna make myself like dance more and stuff. Like that's something I've like lost in the last few years. I don't go dancing at all anymore. And like, I was here the other night and you know, we were talking about that. Like, where are good places to go out? Like, I just feel, yeah, I feel happy about being alive. - Me too. I like that for you. I'm glad you knew that way. - Is there something else coming up for you that you're excited about? - Oh man. - Insanity, insanity. - I'm tired and I'm got more tire coming up. - You're working so much. - I am, I'm just working too much and I don't really see the end of it kind of at the moment. It's like technically I'll get a break in like a month and a half after a really, really tough coming up month and a half. And I would like to, I'm excited for that hypothetically. But now I'm getting to the point where every single week since the beginning of this year, I have felt excited for the break that was to come and then it's been taken away from me. And of course, we're snatched away from me. - Snatched away. - And so I don't, I'm like, now it's hard to even get excited about a potential break because they just don't come in the way that I need them. So I'm really, really hoping that I get the end of the year off and that would be exciting to me. - You're gonna get it off and you're just gonna have to say, you teach me to say no all the time, you're just gonna have to be like, don't, I won't do anything. - I said no so much this year and it didn't save me. That's the issue. - He's too successful this year. - Well, it's just, it's a good year. And I'm so grateful. I'm just like. - No, it's like we, it's work, it's very hard work. - It's work, it's very hard work. - Yeah. - It's work. - It's work to make everything, it's work. - It's work, honey. - It's work, honey. Boots. - Boots, how did you feel about Diane? - What? - Passing. Was she, did she mean a lot to you? - Diane Keaton. - Yeah, I just thought about her when you just said, I don't know what that was. I was just doing a brush, us playing, reminded me of her. - I love her. - I love her. - It meant a lot to me. - I know. Actually, one time, I do love her. I'm so sad that she's gone, obviously. - But what an inspiration. - She really is. And there's something I think about all the time that I think about her constantly, where I was in LA one time. And this guy, I was next to him at a coffee shop. And he was talking to his friend, and I knew his friend. But I didn't know him. - Okay. - And they kind of got into that point of the conversation where they were kind of catching up while I was ordering. And he goes. - You know what I do? - I was like, "Hello." - I was like, "I'm here." And no, no, it was sweet. It was nice. They were catching up and I was kind of listening. And the guy goes. The guy goes, "Ahh, tree fell on my car. I'm so pissed." And my head, I was like, "Oh damn, that really sucks." And his friend goes, "Oh, fuck, I'm so sorry." And he goes, "Yeah, it's kind of cool though. It was Diane Keaton's tree." (laughing) And I, to this day, it occurred that like, I was ordering the coffee and I had to lock in and then they kind of moved over to the table. And there was never a natural moment to find out if he was being earnest or not. - That's. - But to this day, I don't know-- - He had to be earnest. - I don't know if that was a bit or like a very fun, but he literally like lit up. - That's so funny. - He was like, "It was Diane Keaton's tree." - It was Diane's pain for my part to be fixed. Well, also you know Diane would, would she be like, "She'd handle that." - Well, she, her insurance would have to, yeah. - All right. I'm like, "She handled it." - She did. - She came out. - She thumbed up on the dollar bills. - She's like, "She's fixing the window." (laughing) - I will say, 'cause they're like, "As you know, like I started. " After honestly AA, I was like, okay, I need some type of higher power. I don't believe in like this God people talk about, but I am understanding that I would like one. And so that's when I decided that it's gonna be trees. And it's been going well. - I'm gonna go do this, yeah. - It's been going well. But I will say, they have had my back since it happened. He like rolled his eyes a little, but I'm like, it has. - I didn't roll my eyes. - They've had my back since it happened. Like this girl who I do not like, a tree fell on her. And that was after I started praying for them. - I know, I remember that. - I know. I was like, I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it. When it happened, I was like, you guys, you don't have to be like that. Like I was like, I love you back, but like you don't have to hit her. - It's obviously, you know that it's hard for me when you use this. (laughing) - When you say that the trees have your back, it's I struggle and I come from a place of love. - What do you do? Well, you have some type of higher power. - Yeah. - You can't put it on object. - It could totally be. - Clouds, you're more cloudy. You love a cloud. You look at the sky and admire a cloud. - I like a sunset, yeah. - I think a sunset. - I mean, I think every, yeah, I think every, I think God is in the trees as much as God is in anything. - Sunset takes someone out. That'd be really fucking nuts. - Yeah, this way it does. Sometimes this guy takes people out and I never think that it's like the earth acting on my behalf, but I love to be in the tree fell on the woman and I'm happy for you and she was okay. - She was okay. She got hurt at all. I would be like, they would never do that though. They decide to teach her a lesson. - Yeah. - If it falls nearby, like just know, like. - They got Craig out of it. Wait, what's it say? - A tree got Greg Abbott, did you know that? - There's so much news that I don't even know this. - Well, Greg Abbott, the governor of Texas. - He got hit by a tree. - He's in a wheelchair because he got, he was on a run when he was in like his 20s and a tree fell on him. Big God guy, by the way. - Big God guy. - Big God guy. - You know what, you know what, not a big tree guy. - Yeah, well, he should've been praying to the trees, maybe. - God might be mad at me, but the trees, they love me every fucking day. Let me tell you that. - People got so mad at Jasmine Crockett when she called him Governor Hot Wheels. (laughing) - Then I'm like, hey, when you're that evil, everything's back on the table, sorry. - She's also a legend, I love her so much. - Jasmine Crockett. - Yeah, I love her. - Yeah, she cracks me up pretty often. - I just love her so much. I just think it's like, I am someone who has never been to be like, I didn't study political science. I don't understand the government that much. I've had to learn way more than I would've liked to. I'll tell you that much. And Jasmine is like, I just love that she'll like, pop online and talk to us like a person. Cause she's like, okay, if we're all online right now, then I'll be talking to you guys too. Like it feels like so many people in the government are still wearing the wigs or whatever, you know? - I do, I like, yeah, she has a very approachable nature which I like. - I like it a lot. She's the smartest hell. And it's like. - Yeah, I wish that she would do a little less clapping back and a little more, like, I think the left has an issue with policy in general and it's not a Jasmine Crockett problem. It's a left problem. - Yeah. - But I wish that more of our fire brands would get on message a little bit harder into the point, but that all is to say, I'm saying all this to say, if she were to run, I would have some real notes. - Yeah. - For something like bigger, but I love what she's doing right now. - Yeah. - Yeah, same with AOC. AOC is actually on the opposite end of the spectrum for me sometimes where I'm like, we're a little too mired down in the message. There has to be kind of a happy medium. We need like a fire brand who does the message really well. - For me, because like I said, you get me in the government, everything's worse than it could be. You can only imagine. So I'm like the people who are calling out the things that I think are horrible and are around really, really scary men all the time who hate them. I'm like, I love you. I support you. It's not, I'm definitely not gonna donate to your campaign. Like you text me to you all the time, but I will support you and I'll heart it every single time. - That's like the one, if we could really fix, if I could do, if I could snap my fingers and have one thing, it would be getting the fucking money out of politics. - Gavin knew some texting me every single day to donate to him. I'm like, bitch, you have more money than me every single day and you always will. - It's crazy. - Yeah, and I have more money than all my friends. I'm like, in your text than them too. I'm like, stop texting us. It's like it is actually out of control. He's acting like that's the only way. I'm like, you have more work than I have done. I use more fancy lotion than my friends. I'm like, we're in a bad state if you keep asking us for money. - Dude, I'm torn because I think two things are true. Number one, I'm not voting for Gavin Newsom and that's where I'm at. That's how I feel in my heart. And then I see people being like, why does the left always destroy our candidates before they even have a chance? And I kind of understand what is being said by that. - I understand that. - But he's not the left either. Like he's like backpedaling on trans rights. He's like been horrible about homeless people. - Horrible. - He is not our guy, and I don't want to vote for him, and I won't. But yeah, I'm torn on all that. I mean, we're not there yet, but I'm just like-- - I'm trying to not think about, like, for me, I'm like, okay, what can happen in my community right now? What is like the next thing right now versus like-- - Well, for sure, that's my actions. I'm talking about my beliefs. - Yes, totally, totally. I'm seeing that I keep seeing this discourse, you know, on TikTok talk about him, and I'm like, yeah, I disagree with a lot of stuff he's doing, but I also do like anyone right now, or like I do support in a soft way, anyone right now who is like, going against full dictatorship. - Yeah, I wish we could just get, I wish we could get a fucking working person. I wish we could get a working person. I wish we could get an organizer, a fucking like union organizer from the South. Like I wish we could get a person who has an actual job who's not a fucking fake figurehead for a company, who's not a politician. - Who's not super rich. - A real working person who lives in a real place that understands the issues and has some charisma. I wish we could get them for all this fucking money that is always being thrown around behind them, and do something like that instead. - I think that we will. - I would love that. - I think we will. I mean, I think that Zoran shows, I mean, I remember when I followed Zoran, he had like, I don't know, like 27,000 followers or something. It's like what he's at like almost like over four million. And it's like, he's just one example of like, how hungry everyone is for exactly what you're saying. I don't think he's like this. I don't think he's one in a million people. I think there are more people like Zoran and I think that Zoran, the movement behind him right now has shown how hungry people are for exactly that. So. - I think he's great for New York. - Yes. I'm very excited about him for New York. And we need to, we need to find the things that work about somebody like Zoran. - For the other places. - And make it work for everywhere. - Yes. - It's like here, Zoran is perfect for New York. And now we need to find like, I think Graham Platner is that person in Maine, probably, he's an oyster farmer from over there. - Yeah, very cool. - I think like a teacher is probably that person for Iowa. Like a finding who that is for every place. - I would love to get teachers on a mic more and more is what I would like to say. My teacher friends were already not doing well and lately it is worse than, yeah, worse than I can imagine. I'd love to get a teacher on the mic. - Would be fun. - Yes, 100%. - I don't know, not one of those annoying ones. - Gavin's your teacher, he would never. - Some teachers are annoying. - Who's a worse teacher you had? - I'm not gonna say her name. I won't dignify her if I, but she knows who she is. - Who's the best teacher you ever had and why? - Pam Constant, my high school English teacher. - Pam Constant, does she come to stand up shows? - I don't know if she's been, I don't think she's been to one. - When we first started doing shows together randomly, like afterward someone would be like, I taught Caleb in high school and I'd be like, they're coming out to shows, I don't know what that is. - I had some teachers that come out. I had some great teachers across the board. Pam's just the, Ms. Constant is the person I connected to the most and we've had like quite a few lunches since I graduated when I keep in touch. - That's beautiful. - Yeah, she's just great. She was never, she was just like, she was ally in a fun way where she wasn't like, she wasn't like trying to be that thing, like some teachers were, like some teachers were trying to be your hero and she was just like, - Like were they were like, had like a rainbow flag? - No, not even that, but just like trying too hard to be like cool with the kids. Where Pam was like, I'm not your friend, but if you need anything, let me know. - Right. - You know, it was very like boundary to like, and she's a great teacher too. She cares about writing and reading a lot and she taught writing in a way that I thought was really beautiful. - Oh, I love that. Yeah, she's like, I'm your teacher, not your friend. - Yeah. - That's always like a parenting style that I think is really interesting. Like some people be like, I'm your mom, not your friend. - Yeah. - For some parents want to be like, for friends. - Yeah, which one do you think you'll be? - I am leaning towards that I probably won't have kids right now, but I'm always down to change my mind because I love kids so much. I just am aware that I'm 32 and it's not happening this year for sure. - Yeah, you might not keep wanting to carry it. You might carry it for someone else. There's a lot of options. - You know that I actually really, well 'cause I want to be pregnant so bad. I just think it sounds so incredible. Can you imagine the love for your body that you have being pregnant? Like it's insane. - That's some people's experience. - Well, so I would literally be such a diva with it. Like anywhere we'd go, I'd be like, like I would like want to be lifted and stuff. You know, come on because it's just like, sorry I'm growing baby. I really, it pays well. It really does. Two of my friends, why I went to high school with like there, I don't know all the terms. One of their things that didn't take, one of the eggs that didn't pop or whatever the fuck. And then, so then like there, the person who's gonna carry it for them was like her schedule was getting where it maybe could have happened. And I really debated it for a second. I told them I was like, one more acting job that like, I feel like I'm in a place in my career that is okay. And then I would maybe do it for y'all. - You won't be getting paid when you do it for me. - Guess what? - It'll be for the love of the game. - Which is crazy because you said you wouldn't have sex once for it to happen. - No, I'm not gonna have sex. - If you're not paying for a pain, then you better have sex. - I'm getting like a kind of threatening. - Yeah, really, really interesting to have that. - Cut that, cut that. - No, we're leaving. (laughing) - You won't let me talk about it somewhere. - Pay me or fuck me. (laughing) - Really fair, really fair. - That is fair. - Oh, guy, when I'm into a guy, he even needs to fuck me or kill me. (laughing) - Enough with the friend stuff. - And it works. No, but what I do the friend thing, I think that I would be, I think I would explain the nuance to my kid and I would be like, I would love for us to someday be friends when you get older, but I'm gonna probably be more of like a parent figure during this age, by the way. - But to your two-year-old. - Six months, six months. - Yeah, so someday, I think in a different stage, we'll obviously have a different relationship but the dynamic right now is giving parents. - If I was your friend, I'd say you look like a sloppy little bitch. - Oh yeah. - No, I would never, that's why I do parent and so on later. - Thank you. - Yeah, I think and then I would, the reason that I'm gonna be jealous of my friends who have kids is deeply, deeply because of other adults. I think that is the coolest part. Like this age with my parents is everything to me. - Yeah. - Like I just feel like it's like you get to, yeah, like do you feel like your relationship with Kelly has changed? - Obviously. - For sure, she got on anti-anxiety medication and that was big for us. (laughing) She had some, we were friends from most of my childhood and then there were a couple years in my teen years where I was a nightmare because I was a teenager but she was also untreated anxiety disorder. - Yeah. - And even she will say, like getting on anti-anxiety medicine has changed her life, made her so much, but there were a couple years there where, I was being a nightmare because I was a teenager but she was being so unreasonable about everything because of her anxiety. - Yeah. - That I would just be like, you're being fucking crazy and she'd be like, I'm not! - And it's like you are. (laughing) And also I could tell I was being annoying and it was hard. - Well, a big thing for me that you just talked about, which is the big switch that happened with me and my parents is not living together. I don't ever want to live with my mom. Like I don't want to live with you and when we don't live together, it's amazing. And when we do live together, like I've done stints of it again and I go, "Uh oh!" I go, "When we back and we back, you know?" I do not enjoy living with my parents. It just is not the, we live on a different pace, you know? - That's true about you. - Yeah, it really is. What's this? - A segment for you. - Is there a photo of me on there? - Can we borrow what's on here? - You know what this is? You've been on the show before? - I know, it's been a long time. - Home is a time for the true or false segment. - Okay. - I did really bad last time. - It's been a long time because you've refused to come on. - I wrote, stop. - Just so everyone knows. - I wish I could say what you said to me about it once, but at all. - What did I say? - You go, you go, you go. It's bad for your career and mine that you want to the point. (laughing) And I said, "I know, I know it's best for me." And then guess what? We actually didn't fight. We left it at that. And I said, "It's because I want it to get here, yeah." I can know it. Keep it in, keep it in, it's funny. And I'm back. - Of course I keep it in. That's hilarious. I love when I say shit like that. - Okay, go. - All right, this is the true or false segment. I'm gonna read you 15 statements. You're gonna tell me as quickly as you can. If you think what I just said is true or false, if you get 10 or more correct, you're gonna win 50 US dollars. - Okay. - You ready? - Yes, I'm ready. - Water is the only substance on earth found in all three forms, liquid solid and gas. - False. - True. Potatoes are grown from potato seeds. - False. - False. - The International Space Station is closer to earth than San Francisco is to LA. - False. - True. - Wait, wait, see that again. - Okay. - Four to states. (laughing) Four to states, four to states biggest rival is the University of Miami. - False. - True. - Oh, what? - I thought it'd be UF. I don't fall for sports, but I did go there. Go seminals, but not really. Change the name. (laughing) - Fruit loops are all the same flavor, just different colors. - False. - True. - Rose-Burn. - I think I got everyone lost. - This is the worst it's ever gone. - Rose-Burn was born in England. - True. - False, Australia. - I don't even know this girl. (laughing) - A group of caterpillars is called an army. - Oh, that's true. - True. It's funny. False. - True. - What the hell? (laughing) - No, I get that one. - Yeah, you get that one. - It's only two, come on. - The Home Depot is older than Lowe's. False. - False. Campbell Soup's slogan is mm, mm, good. - True. - True. Your MCL is in your shoulder. - False. - False, your knee. - The first known cat video was recorded in 1894. - What? - Um, what? - True. - This room. Every odd number contains the letter E when written in English. - Every what letter? - Every odd number contains the letter E when written in English. - You're so fast, I have to do this fast. Every odd number. - The point of the segment is so fast. - Yeah, you're right, you're right. Okay, false. - True. (laughing) - I'm like dumb cat. - Ms. Fizzle. - Ms. Fizzle from the Magic School Buses. First name is Courtney. - False. - False, Valerie. Rosie O'Donnell is an egot winner. - False should be. - False should be. The average credit score in the United States is 550. - Flabberg. slower than that. False. False, 705. How'd they do? Really bad. Really strong comeback, but nine. Yeah, one of the worse. Really strong comeback. One of the worse yet, though, I would say. No, in the game. You have some weird conceptions. No, I don't. I really like myself, but I don't think I know that much. I didn't say it was about yourself, was the interesting part. What I'll say is this? The number part is crazy that they all have ease. Now I'm really thinking on that. Okay. God, I really could have just locked in on that. Chance gets a lot of these wrong. Just so you know. So feel free to research. People will be like, that's not sure. People in the comments will be like, go toe to toe with Chance. And he always claims he has it right. But sometimes I've seen them prove him wrong. The cap video is like, what camera are we on? He's fuming right now. He's so mad. You get into it with the comments. The biggest one was the bears can't swim. And people really went after me on that one. Everyone was like, I've seen a bear swim. Yeah. Chance has a type of anxiety that's really prone to being spun out about something like that specifically. Well, it's also really funny because it's just like anything's going to swim if you toss it in the water. That's not true. I mean like a bear like probably can't swim. But it's like he's drowning and like he's got to figure something out. A lot of people I feel like he were like, can't swim. It's like they really like they drown some drown. But most your body starts to do some stuff. I cannot tell you how wrong I think you are. What if I say the age is like 14 up? Of course, I know if you like throw a baby in there, they're not going to be able to do it. No, most people who can't swim when they end up in swimable water, they drown. Whatever. I almost died by fire. I do know that. You're trying to make it. I'm like, I know that people have died by water, but have you ever ever ever almost died? Yeah. What was it? I drove through a tornado. When? When I was like 18. You're chasing it? No. It chased me. Unfortunately. I don't fuck with storms like that. I'm not one of those people who chase tornadoes. That's a special type of breed. They're scary. They're really, really scary. It's a scary type. Holmes, what's so true to you? What's so true to me? I thought about this and was like, oh, you're a comedian. You should be funny. I was like, no, I'm not going to. What is so true to me that I've been thinking about all the time lately is that I fucking love getting older and getting older and aging rocks. I want that to be more of a thing. I think so much about me was getting older, it's going to suck. Everything everyone told me was getting older, it's going to suck. Your body's going to hurt. People are going to you're going to lose work. Try to be young forever in every single year. I'm like, I love this more and more. Yeah. And you are still young, which is another part of it. It'll be interesting to see how that feels at like 45/50. I'm still young, but you really hear some women in their 50/60s be like, God, 60s are everything. You're like, you know, 70s are everything. And I'm like, I really think there's a I know more. And I know more of like what makes me feel better. I know who I like to spend time with more. Yeah. I think I just think there's so much focus on the couple. I'm not naive enough to be like nothing is hard about getting older. Like it's like, yeah, it sucks that maybe you're like knees hurt more or like, you know, that your face looks different or whatever. But to me, I think there's just so much focus on those ones. And I'm like, I would say 95% of everything getting older is just as amazing to me. I think so much of life is perspective. And I think that it, I think that people, people just dwell on, I don't know, aging is one of those things where I feel, I feel very far away from people who were really intense about it sometimes because as much as we kid, I'm like, I feel the same way about people when people talk about being fat. A lot of like former fat people, especially speaking of earlier, we'll talk about their like, yeah, when I was fat, no one looked at me. I couldn't, I, I was ignored. People treated me horribly. And then I lost weight and the most surprising thing was how nice people are. And I was like, that kind of sounds like a you problem because I light up the room. And hear that. I don't know what to tell. I'm like, there's, I just feel very distant from that. And sometimes when people talk about aging in the same way, where they're like, I turn 30 and everything got worse, I'm like, I feel like you have a bad attitude. Well, and not only that, but it's like, everyone's so nice. Those people who just swish on you are the worst people in the world, where it's like what we've talked about a lot is like, I don't know, I've got older. Like the guys who used to hit on me when I was 18 and they were like 34 or whatever, you know, it's like one of those things where I'm like, now I can see that where if someone doesn't talk to me because I'm like, you know, maybe look older than someone that they'd want a date or something. I don't want them to talk to me. Like I think the things that come with getting older that make people upset are like the things I actually love. Like, yeah, I think getting older is so cool. I've liked it every year. And I also acknowledge that we're still very young. And so I'm like, yeah, I leave space for like maybe in our 40s and 50s, we will feel different. I don't think we will because I think we both also are people who choose, we choose the positive perspective anytime that we can, even when things are negative. Well, and it's just like literally, I mean, it's just such a gift to be able to get older. Like I mean, I sometimes do it in a joke the other night about how like the Prince of Egypt was like nine years old or something like that. And I was just like, they used to have princes at nine because they were all dying by like, you know, 18 or whatever. Like I was like, we get to live in this time period where we get to live to like a hundred maybe or whatever. And I'm like, yeah, that won't be my story. Covey, I'm not living to you. I could see you being a hundred and just being so fucking fun. I'll tell you one way or another, I'm not live into a hundred. What what age will you be like that? Absolutely not. I don't know because I haven't gotten there, but I know that probably if I get to the 70s 80s situation, there's probably a day in there where I go, it's been fun. I'll be running see obviously dog. No, there's no chance I'm doing that like 98 year old like wheeled out to their birthday party. I'm all my love to those people. But you see some of these people who aren't like that anymore. It's like crazy. Yeah, but they live in ways that I don't. They like to they do yoga every day for two hours. So do you see a hundred year old and she's like running an iron man and you're like that. That's her story. Yes. And I'm like, I can't do that. That's her truth. I won't be doing that. I can't be doing that. No. Yeah, I'm not doing that now. I'm certainly not going to do it then. What's your least favorite part of being older? Yeah. Um, the oppression in our industry. But that hasn't really happened to you yet. Wait, it does sometimes. People will say it like it happens in ways that it really genuinely does sometimes. It happens. Um, but I'm so lucky. I'm like, I'm like, I have how fucking snuck in. Like I'm very lucky with my path in like the fact that I got to be, well, you know what I mean? It happens brain wise from things I read. That's I think why I said also that I love aging because I want there to be more like rhetoric around that because that is my truth in my day where I was reading Wikipedia pages of actors and stuff growing up being like, how the fuck could I do this growing up in Nebraska and Florida? Like how could I do this? And they would all be like, I, I, you know, gotten my first movie at 16 or like a lot of times it was like five years older or whatever. And so a lot of it is like the storytelling from other actors. Oh for sure, it's happening. Yeah. So that's my least favorite part, which is like, like I said, gonna change. Yeah. I don't feel like that is a forever thing at all. Yeah. Probably all the people dying. Holmes, guess what? It's done already. We did it. We had an episode. It's so fucking funny. I love you so much. I love you so much. I love you so much. I love you so much. Tell people where they can find you and don't be a coward. I won't be at all. You can find me on a line underscore homes, underscore homes, but more importantly, I'm going to start a monthly show at Union Hall. So look out for that. And of course, overcompensating season two, we will film soon. But yeah, just going to be back into live performance coming up. So look out for that on my pages. And also, when you're not doing that or listening to this, get offline. Throw your phone. Tell them your address. Oh my god, you really did. That's what we'll put it on the screen in the case people could hear. Love you so much. Thanks for doing it. Love you, baby. That was a hit gun podcast.