Holmes Returns Again

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And I'm noticing this because I'm not be under the gaze of a really patriarchal, dominant society for a second. I'm understanding this. And then a lot of them did feel like I have to take this back because not only is it being teased a lot, it's being like truly like put in danger by our government. Yeah. I think there's just boys and girls. Are we rolling? Oh, she's like. Of course we're rolling, Holmes. That's you going to the club the other day. What? When you got us in somewhere really, really long and I'd never seen it. You hate this. You were, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't, I had never seen it. You were like, you were like, you were like. People have no idea what you're talking about. Do you want to explain? Yes. Well, so I get it. So I got in from filming Overcompensating Season 2. Kayla was so fucking sweet. Not usual for him looking at the camera. Just kidding. Oh, there it is. He was waiting at my hotel with like a bunch of sweets and weed. It really meant the world to me. And then I was like, I just want to stay in the hotel forever. I just want to lay down. And then at 11 p.m. I had a second wind. The whole day you were like, I'm not leaving the hotel. We're not doing anything tonight. Don't plan on it. I was like, okay, we won't do anything tonight. I knew it. He did this new technique because normally. You did, you did a new technique. I'm finding new. I'm finding new trickery and ways around Holmes's boundaries. It actually worked really, really well. It was crazy because I really felt like I had gotten past you kind of tricking me in new little sneak ways. And I was like, new technique. And he kept being like, I don't know what you are calling this new technique. They're like, I'm setting a hard boundary. My energy is such that I just, I can't go out tonight. I'm not leaving the hotel. I was like, sounds good. We'll sit in the hotel. Yeah. He was like, we'll be in the hotel. He was like, I don't even want to go dancing really. Not worries. But then you would have a teeny, a teeny, teeny one. Yes. And so then all of a sudden. All of a sudden. 11 p.m. strikes. And what happens? Well, and you did something really, really sneaky too, which is what kind of weed did you bring me? A perfect sativa. Uppers. Uppers. So I have a little sativa. I brought you goofy weed. And then all of a sudden I'm like, I have to take a shower. And then all of a sudden I come out, Aiden and Caleb are there. I go, let's go dancing. And we had a second wind. Huge. But it was the last weekend of Pride. And so it's funny because I like telling them the story. It's the last weekend of Pride. And so we try to go dancing. And first we go to a beauty bar. And it's like, there's a huge line outside the dance floor. It's like so crowded. There's no way. There's a line to get on the dance floor that's like metered by a security guard. I was like, what happened to New York City? Wait, but then do you remember what happened? We were like, there was a screen. And we're like, oh, that must be where people are dancing. But everyone was standing really, really still. And we're like, I guess not. And then all of a sudden it was. Yeah, YMCA. There was a CCTV screen. We were like, that must be on the dance floor. But no one's moving. I wonder if it's frozen. And then immediately people started doing the YMCA. But they were like so jam-packed. So it was like, anyway. So then I was like, fuck, we might not be able to go dancing. We'll try one more place. And then we tried. We go there. And it's like, the line is so long. And I'm thinking like, you know. We'll bleep the name of the place. We'll bleep the name of the second place. Oh, bleep it. Totally. Bleep it. And then, yeah, bleep a couple things throughout. And then, I'm so happy to be here. OK. And then basically, oh, I was like, we won't be able to go. Let's just go eat or whatever. And then Caleb makes eye contact from afar with one of the bouncers. And is like, puts up the number three. And then all of a sudden we're walking in. And I was like, I'm like soaking wet. This is fucking nuts. I had never been through anything like it. And then we had the best night ever. And we danced till they closed down at 4 AM. We danced until they kicked us out. I needed it so bad. People, I remember one girl even came up and kind of hit on me. And I like loved it. But then I didn't even want to kiss. I was like, thank you. And then I kept dancing. And Aiden was like, kiss her, kiss her. And I was like, I don't want to even speak. It was just like a total dance night. It was magic. Aiden's like touching herself. She's like, kiss her. Yeah, Aiden's like, kiss her now. Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her. No, Aiden, I was actually fucked what we did to Aiden. Aiden came over in sweats because I told her we were going to be just at the hotel the whole night. You did that to Aiden. I know I did. But you were down for it too. I saw one of you were like, you were like, are you not going to change? And Aiden was like, this is all I have. And you were like, it looks good. I mean, Aiden is like the most beautiful person in the world. So it's fine. She looked stunning in sweats. She just was really hot and uncomfortable. Well, she had like, yeah, I'd look over at her and it was like, she was sweating away. I'd never seen. And she was like, she was like, it's kind of hot in here. And I was like, you're getting really hot, aren't you? You need some water, yeah. Yeah. And we got her some water and she headed home a little earlier than us. That is true. I wish she hadn't left. She's still the last. But then we went to the diner and I got a bacon grilled cheese. Yeah. And I snapped at a fan. I didn't snap. No, I didn't. You didn't snap at a fan, but it was really funny because a fan came over and was talking to us. Oh, what did I do on the dance floor? I was like, what? On the dance floor when the fans were coming up to you. I had two drinks that night and normally I'm not drinking very much anymore. And like fans would try to come up to Caleb while we're dancing. And hey, shout out, we love like everyone who supports obviously Caleb, but sometimes it's like we need boundaries. And Caleb said with my body, I would suddenly start to be dancing, just like blocking them out. Someone, I would see someone trying to say hello to me and they would be like where this camera is. And then immediately Holmes' body would just come in between us and Holmes would be like dancing like this. And I was like, you know what? Shout out. But we went to the diner and this fan was drunk and being pretty obnoxious and specifically made me laugh really hard because I was trying to just like end the interaction so we could go back to having our normal conversation. Because she was drunk. And then Holmes goes, Holmes goes, we've been dancing. We're a little sweaty. And the girl goes, I can tell. Yeah, yeah. She like read me to fill. I think it was me specifically. It was you specifically. I know because I laughed. I was like, I was really, I'm exhausted and stuff. And she was like, I know. I was like. I laughed so hard. I was like, don't interrupt our diner moment. And then Holmes was like, if that bitch comes back over here, I'm going to tell her off. Here's the thing. Like I have like truly probably like 1% of the fan base that Caleb has. One time I was like, Caleb, do you ever say no when someone asks for a photo? He was like, never have. And he was like, why do you? And I was like, half the time. So I just am not meant to have. Yeah, you're a lot sweeter to them. I'm not mean to them. I just don't like to be disturbed in public. I don't like to be disturbed in public. I really am very grateful for anyone who supports comedy in the arts. It just is like, it's hard to, it's hard to know you're being watched. And I think I get defensive of you. But because I had two alcoholic drinks. I had a girl yesterday that I almost for real snapped on. I was on the phone. I was on the phone standing on the street in Brooklyn. And she goes, she goes, from like 30 feet away. I didn't understand her. I go, what? She goes, I go, what? She walks closer and she goes, you're from YouTube. You do stuff with Brittany. And I go, yeah. And she goes, okay, hi. This is what I mean. And I was like, go away. In my head, I'm like, are you out of your fucking mind? I'm on a phone call. You're yelling at me from 30 feet away. And then you come over to say, you're the guy from YouTube who does stuff with Brittany. All my love to Brittany. Of course, I love you, girl. I know you watch every episode. But like, leave me alone. I know. I think this is what it is, is that I. Did you catch an attitude with me? Oh, I almost. I was like, you need to walk away now. No, when they catch that. I told you when I was walking behind the girl on my flight. My seat was worse than hers in economy. And she was like, oh my God, can I get a photo? And I was like, I'm behind you. And I was like, and I just woke up. And I was like, really, really thank you so much. It's one of those things where, yeah, I think I get defensive for you. And also, it's like, we're appreciative too. What do you think is the meanest you've ever been to a stranger? Or like the worst interaction you've ever had with a stranger? I have one that comes to mind. Of me or you? Me. Oh, thank God. I was like, well, keep it to yourself. You, I could probably think of. No. Say yours first, and I'm sure mine will come. I mean, I definitely push it. I was getting off a plane in Mexico City. And there was this big, long hallway to get to the customs area. And people are, I was with friends, but they weren't with me for some reason. Maybe they got like ahead of me or something like that. And everyone is walking fivefold. People are walking around. People are going quicker. People are going slower. And I'm not going to remember all the exact. Details, but there was a woman in front of me going very slow. She was just like a middle-aged woman. I didn't do anything. I like walked around her, not briskly, nothing. I did what everyone was doing, which is just making our way. And she goes, oh, congratulations. You're going to get there 20 seconds sooner to me. And I was like, I'm just walking like everyone. Do you have a problem? and she was like I do have a problem it's that everyone's in a big fucking rush and wants to rush past everybody and I was like you need to relax and stop speaking to me this way immediately because I've done nothing to you and you have lost your fucking mind wait wait wait this story you actually are like kind of correct 100% I'm correct but I was you weren't that mean oh I said you've lost your fucking mind at a very loud tone in a public place it was completely like I was like you have lost your fucking mind Caleb's like she's officiating my wedding well we did have an amends so then basically I was like you've lost your fucking mind and she was like whatever just go ahead and I said I will and I don't need your permission thank you have a nice day and I walked on I was like what is your problem I mean at the airport this is at the airport you're saying people lose their minds it was at the airport and then we get up into security and she somehow gets ahead of me which is totally fine I think she ends up in another line she gets ahead of me and she someone picked up the pace for sure yeah she learned how to fucking walk real quick I can tell you that and then she like looks back at me and goes like no no no she's like I missed you she like tells me to come up there and I go up there because I'm like I'm assuming she's going to apologize and I go up there and she goes get in line with me and I get in line with her and she goes I'm sorry she goes I was crazy back there my mom is sick I've been taking care of her I'm just like losing my mind see I love this fucking shit and I was like I was like that's totally okay it's like hard to be at an airport I totally get it I was a little confused but I was like what did you think I did and she was like I don't even know I thought you were cutting me I'm sorry and I was like no worries at all and then when we got we like talked all the way through security she was telling me about her mom really telling me about the situation with the mom clearly needed to talk you're like at this point I'm not mad at you anymore I'm not going to meet your mom she was sweet and then when we got outside she was like where are you staying in the city I think kind of trying to be like maybe we'd hang out on the trip and I was like we're not going to hang out on the trip she's like where do you go out she's like what's your dance style I was like I'm really happy we made amends we talked a lot about your mom I feel like I did my part in this interaction where I'm not going to be like rearranging the trip to hang out with you because ultimately you do have pretty rancid vibes mom or not you did you did snap on me probably the first person you snapped at an airport I'm not so sure you're stable to be honest 1000% no that one you're totally in the right and I feel really bad when I'm walking really really fast and passing people it is like a strategy I was in the right but there's no need you should never really be raising your voice and cursing at a stranger like to cuss at her was crazy I was right she was being a bitch but I didn't need to say it the sorry is a really really huge thing and like I hope I can always say sorry I want my friends to always call me out if I can't and I also hope I feel like I'm a good at saying sorry I don't know shut up I don't know we're both good at saying sorry you've wronged me a lot we're both good at saying sorry you think so I think we really are I think if we get called out either way we like we'll say sorry I learned that you were mad at me recently when I didn't know you were mad at me what the fuck are you talking about oh yeah remember I thought that that was like really like growth with me though that I kind of sat with it because I knew I was in like a little bit of a heightened state it was growth with you in a certain way I think I think we both had that sometimes we'll sit for a second and then talk about it you didn't talk to me for a week I was going through something pretty intense really really hard you were having a life moment and it was really really not my fault really really totally it was out of your control and I had sent a because here's the thing I have all my best friends it's actually something I want to talk about on the podcast because you're obviously one of my best friends in the whole world and a lot of my oh one of one of name the others shut up the other ones are all like sweetie girls and you know that and it's one of those things where they are we like to analyze situations and personalities and drama for hours you don't find that fun or interesting you like if we're talking about if we're talking about someone who's like if something like you'll want to be like this is how I would handle it done fast you like you like to not spend time with it I'm a solutions guy it becomes a problem sometimes with my girls yeah well I respect it so it's like one of the things where I didn't I remember I didn't want to have to I didn't want to give you a bunch of information that you were going to be like this is boring and I don't care that would never be my response I know I know I was just trying to be and so then I said a bunch of kind of stressful stuff really really fast in a voice memo to him being basically this is the state I'm in so I'll talk to you soon and kind of left out like big foundational details kind of like basically just sounded like manic and like very conservative and very confusing and then he in the voice memo back goes well you sound crazy right now which for me is a big trigger word that I don't that I don't like to hear yeah but because I was pretty aware that if I re-listened to the voice memo I would sound crazy I said I'm going to just like sit with this for a second that I feel a little bit like upset and then I know I'll talk to him in a second and then what happened is I actually feel like you maybe you felt a little energy well you didn't feel energy you didn't talk to me for a week so I was like I don't know when I sent the voice note I didn't realize you were actually that stressed about the things that you were talking about yeah I was like oh Holmes is just being kind of like manic today and like I was just getting because I did you did not give me the details that you were like she just had a bunch of coffees yeah I was like oh she had she fired off like two cold brews and then sent me a voice note that was like pretty mangled no and I was just like saving details because I was like this will be 30 minutes 100% and so then after you didn't talk to me for a week which is really unlike us I was like oh they must be really really busy and probably pretty stressed out to not talk to me for a week so I sent you flowers to be like shout out to be like not so crazy when those flowers came in so I sent flowers to be like hey hope you're good love you the flowers were and then I was like and then I was like and then you called me and you're like hey I've not been talking to you because I've been really mad at you but I was processing it on my own no no no do not I did not see you really mad at all I said thank you so much for the flowers I missed you I love you and then I said what I was feeling because I knew it was and then I was like I don't know I tried to I'm I'm really emotional you know this and so I like to I was trying to be like that's a trigger word for me let me have a moment to take a deep breath you know and then the flowers came in and I said guess looks like that deep breath ended I think my preference would be that you take one day and then you get a hold of me but if it takes a week and me sending flowers I guess we can do that way as well it won't always do that you know that I was actively was really really busy too yeah that was the other thing I wasn't there was no part of me that was luckily I have nothing going on you're busy all the time so I can sit around and just wonder there was nothing at all that was me every night like he called me crazy how dare he you know it was much more that I was just like we'll talk about this and I wanted to be on a phone call you know I feel like sometimes when I have misalignments and misunderstandings with my girls I feel like a straight guy in a rom-com totally totally where I'm like where I'm like I didn't say you were crazy I said you sounded crazy and to me that is like a massive difference but I understand that if I were in your shoes it wouldn't feel that way but I'm just like to me I have a hard time sometimes being like well no I meant like the tone and the frenetics of the voice note sounded crazy not that you in the real life situation are legitimately out of touch with reality it's also just a real thing that we have a ton of different types of close like close friends like really and they all communicate different so sometimes we really will like personally I will be like this is how I communicate with one person all my morals and values are the same with all of them but like how you communicate can be a little bit different so I agree that it was more of me having to be like he doesn't mean that you're crazy you know what I mean sometimes I feel like you guys all communicate with the same and then I'm the one who's different totally no I do think I don't think that's true at all but I do think that a lot of us you have chosen to be friends with a lot of really really soft queer women and you didn't choose it it really found me I really don't know that I would choose it you love them and you did choose and then you of course have chance and Doyle who are like you know then all of a sudden we're hanging out or softer than you guys are they're soft but then all of a sudden you guys will be like I don't know like wrestling or whatever like you don't wrestle there's a fine not a wrestle I'm like whenever I come in chance and Caleb are truly like both I'm sorry throwing each other around every time I walk in on chance and Caleb no chance wishes no but there's like there's a hard like you guys can say something that is biting and it doesn't mean it's not personal like we're if you said that's any of your softy girls we'd be like okay oh don't worry we've had growth yeah me and the boys yeah different oh we were nasty to each other in our early 20s it was not cute it was not funny it was not light-hearted we would we would throw daggers at each other in a way that was like why would you say the most hurtful thing you could possibly think of we were mean to each other in our early 20s I feel like me chance and Doyle specifically have been on a real journey of being like we used to think it was funny to be mean to each other and we really thank God grew out of that now it's like little tiny fun digs well I try to have a lot of here's the thing you're one of the fun you are like to me like the funniest person and then completely true sorry we just make sure we get that clean into your camera yeah cut it clip it um no say it again just clean really clean directly breaking up it's much more that uh I have had to think like okay uh Caleb's like career is this really really huge thing that is like making people laugh in a huge way and it's also it's more than that obviously but you are making people laugh a lot and I am really really really sensitive and so I think being friends with comedians in general I've had I have had to check myself a lot when something comes up with that is a really funny joke with like a lot of our friends to be like does that piss me off and hurt my feelings or is it funny enough that I'm not hurt at all yeah and I don't know do you have that with jokes or do you feel like a joke can't really get you in a painful way uh I don't know do you ever have a comedian friend who they do one and you're like that you pushed it I feel like all anytime someone makes a joke about me it's like spot on do you know I mean like they nailed it like I feel like even if it's something I'm not really sensitive about my shortcomings you know what I mean yeah I know how I am I know that I can be terse I know that I want things my way I know that I can be stubborn like so when someone makes a joke about that I'm like well yeah That's how I am. No, no, no. Remember when I joked about your rigidness? And you were like, don't not be joking about my rigidness because I worked on that for you. No, that's not what happened. What happened was, that's what happened is you said that I was rigid after I had, you said that I was rigid in a way that it was. I said you've been working on your rigidness because you told me you had been. You said that I was rigid and then I reminded you that I'd been working on it is the way I remember. I said harsh and then you said I've been working on my rigidness and I thought that was a really cute way to say it. So then we were smoking. Oh yeah, you did say harsh. That's way worse. That's what it was. You said I was harsh and I said I have been working on that for you. And they were smoking weed one day and I said I love you without your rigidness and you go do not be mocking the rigidness now. It's very sweet. I think both of us work on the things that, I don't know, we just really care about our friendship. It makes me feel happy. I care about your friendship more than anything. I care about your friendship so much. I have a question for you. Ask me now. Which is that. And it better be good. Fingers fucking crossed. Is that do you feel like, because as you know, like I've now learned like okay. You could be doing this for years and years and years and I like, I'm seeing the podcast and I love collaborating with you. But I have this weird thing with podcasts that you know and it's been like rude when I've like said no in the past. I just want to be clear. I don't know that this can go on for years and years and years. Okay, well I think it will. I think it will. I would love it. I hope everyone keeps listening. This is a dream to me. Literally, cut that diner girl shit. We love you to death. But yeah, yeah, cut the diner girl stuff. No, I legitimately don't know. I don't know how long this can last. It feels like very precarious to me for some reason. But I'm going to be here until it stops. I'll say. I believe that it will for a long time. And I really, really love it. And I am someone who like gets anxiety being on podcasts. But then I'm like I love you so much and I also want to collaborate with you forever. So I'm like okay, this is something that I want to continue to get better at too. And I'm curious like for me I'm so vulnerable and say everything that comes to my mind. Super open and honest as you know gets me in trouble both ways. Where is your line for what you, the rules of what you don't talk about on here? Do you make them at home or do you ever catch yourself? Being like that was more vulnerable than I wanted to. Like do you have like a hard rule of what is just yours? It's like a big balance. I feel like it's a constant balance. The reason I don't feel anxious about this is because we'll always edit. Like and I'm happy to say that. Like there are totally times we get into a conversation with a guest that we go for 10 minutes on something. That I'm like both of us were just either not compelling in that or we were too vulnerable. Or we said things that will be willfully misconstrued by morons on the internet. Like there are plenty of times that I'm like that was actually a really interesting conversation that I would love to have. But a lot of people are looking for reasons to be upset. And are frankly just not that smart. And so I'm happy to cut it. Like I just you can't trust a huge group of strangers to always give you the benefit of the doubt. And treat you like you're a kind and loving and smart person who's trying your best. I know. So there's a balance between being a little bit tight with the things you don't want to be super super open about. I try not to use people's names when I tell stories. I try not to this that and the other. And then there's also the fact that we just. We just can edit because it's an edited thing. Okay. I love that. It's beautiful. Yeah. I'm trying to come in in more of that open kind of way. And also there's a part of it that's just making peace with the fact. I feel like the job of my like creative career over the last several years has been making peace with the fact that no matter what you do. People are going to lie about you and dislike you. I know. I have seen things about myself on the internet that are so far from reality. I've seen things. Obviously the things that hurt more are the things that are closer to reality. Like when people say things about me that I'm you know insecure about. But I see. People say things about me all the time. When I wore the ice out pin to the Devil Wears Prada premiere. And they flagged that shit so fast. I saw it and then immediately it was taken down on all the apps. And you were saying like really good stuff. What do you mean? When you like. When someone asked you about it. Yeah. And you were literally just like. Yeah. It sucks that we're obviously paying for people to like literally haunt immigrants. And then it was really immediately. And like I saw like 100k likes. And then I went back on. Instagram had taken it all off. Oh really? Oh interesting. I didn't notice. But I. There were. There were. I saw people in like a comment for that. Because that was one that I did read the comments on. Because I was like. I wonder how people are receiving that. Like I know how I felt about it. I don't care. I made the choice. But there were like. There were like not a small number of comments of people being like. Another out of touch celebrity who does nothing to help. But wears a pin and thinks they're doing something. And I'm like. That just even if you hate me isn't true. Like that just as far. I even say in the video that I don't think wearing a pin is doing something. I. There are so many demonstrable examples of other stuff that I do. And so you're just like. You're just like unwilling to look into this. You just want something to complain about. And you're a fucking moron. And that's just how it is. And I disagree. Because first off you do a lot of stuff that is a lot larger than wearing a pin. Which is fine. I mean. But you know what I mean. No no no totally. But I will say. It actually did do something. Because they wouldn't have asked you about ice. And you wouldn't have talked about it. Right. If you weren't wearing the pin. And the videos of me talking about it got tens of millions of views. Right away. And it was a part of a conversation. Like it's not doing nothing. But it is also coupled with other stuff. But my whole point in this is not like. Great job. Give a pat on the back. I don't care about that. No. My point is just like. No matter what kind of person you are. If you exist in a public manner of any kind. And this applies down to even the smallest things. Like even just like interpersonally in your life. If you don't have a public career. You can be the exact kind of person you want to be. Nine days out of ten. Your whole life. And there will still be people that catch you on the one day. Yeah. Or that just saw you on one of the good days. And just decided that they didn't believe it. And you just can't worry about it. I know. I have. I'm just really, really impressed with how you handle it. And it's definitely my thing that I want to. And will continue to work on with. I don't want to be on the internet that much. You know that. But I want to do your podcast. Because I love you. And I love this podcast. And so I want to be more okay. Yeah. When people getting. A bunch of people seeing you in one type of way. And then knowing like on another day. I'm in a different mood. And just knowing like no one will ever really, really know me. Except the people in my life. Who know you. Exactly. Who know me. Well and beyond that. I think for all of us. Like as human beings. Like people who aren't you know. Fucking comedians or podcasters or whatever. Like people listening to this. Who you know. Don't have like big followings on the internet or something. Good for you. Most people. Yeah. Seriously. Celebrate. Celebrate. Have fun with it. Yeah. I do love it. I love my job. I love my life. I'm so happy with it. But I think for all of us. Like the things that I think about all the time. Are like when you ask like really old people. The things they regret. The two things they say are. I wish I would have worked less. And I wish I would have cared less what other people thought. But examples of what they say. And I think just like living your life. Dictated by what people are going to say about you. Is just really miserable. You just shouldn't do that. I know. Just try to stay out of that as much as you can. And be like. I'm just going to do what I think is right. And I'm going to be nice to people. And live the life I want to live. Around the people I want to be around. And if there are people out there who don't like me for it. Fuck them. Yeah. And that they'll never really know you. The people around you will really really know you. And just fuck them. It doesn't matter. They're miserable. Like people who sit around. Like. Casting aspersions. And being intentionally obtuse about people that they barely know. In any context. Are just miserable. Unimportant people. You just don't need to worry about. What they think. I know. You got to do your thing. I know. I felt like two things during that. When you were talking. First off I said. God some of the old people I know are so scary. Because they were not saying the right lessons. Really some of the old people were like. You know. High school is your glory days. And I was like. That's not true. That was 80 years ago for you. Uh oh. Super scary. Yeah. And then also the thing that I really thought about was like. It. Makes me so sad that when people. Don't care or try at all. To make the world a better place. Like zero zero. No one throws shade. For the most part. They don't get that much shade about that. Where I watch my friends who actually do. Actively try to like. Care the most. And do like action based. Care. Not just like speaking out. Which is still really important. Um. And they really do get the most hate. So I think it's one of those things of like. Yeah. Don't let it make you stop. You know. Yeah. When you choose a life of trying. In any regard. Then you're seen as somebody who's trying for something. And so then you're inherently vulnerable to. The criticisms of people who know that you're trying something. As opposed to people who set up tension free lives. Where nothing is expected of them. Yes. You can hit the mark every time. When no one's expecting anything of you. You can always hit that mark. I love when people try. My favorite. I love trying. I think it's amazing. Me too. I love trying. I love trying too. And it was like. Honestly I feel like. Did you struggle with some things. With. Or how are you with practice? Do you think you're good at practice? Bad. I'm bad at being bad at things. I feel like I am. I'm really bad at being bad at things. And I'm working on. It's a lifelong project for me. Same. I hate being bad at things. It's so annoying. It's like. What do you mean I'm bad at that? It's like. What are you. Yeah. What are you fucking talking about? Let me do it. I should be good at that. Let me do it right now. I know. I love it. And I want to be good at things right away. I hate. It's really really hard. But I try. I'm trying anyway. I'm going to get a lot better at that too. I was really really bad at practice. And then it'd be like. Okay. Yes. I'm bad at that. And then I was just like. I feel like you're good at practice. I've been. I'd say for the past four years. It's been something that I've like. Really really been like. Like I was bad at auditions. I was like. Okay. You have to practice. You know. And then growing up. I wanted to play music. Like instruments really really badly. And my parents were like. You don't practice. And Candice does. And so then they like. We're like. We're not paying for lessons. And. But I would just like. I want to go back to the lesson. And be like. I did it again. You know. And I just think. It always felt. Yeah. Practice felt really boring to me. And so I've had to learn a lot of ways. To make it more exciting. Yeah. Practice is hard. But yeah. Trying is beautiful. And exciting. And awesome. Trying is beautiful. Exciting. And awesome. Okay. Wait. I got one for you. What's your favorite body of water? Say three reasons why. No. It's really important. I'm going to skip that. Because I had one for you. And I don't want to answer that. Sorry. No. I'm not answering that. No. I'm going to have a question for you. And that's something you can try out. Just. Someone asks you a question. No. No. I'm not doing that. Next. Let's see if I say yes or no. No. Let's find out. I'll think on the body of water. But before I answer that. I want you to think you know it's a lake. Because I'm not a beach guy. But I want to hear the three reasons why. Because it's the size of something. I'm not a beach guy. Lakes are better. But before I answer the water thing. I want to ask you. What do you think is the time that we've laughed the hardest together? Like really laughed the hardest. Well. One is a story we. That is something that's also hard. It's like. There's so many that we can't say. One is that dude's name when we were with Devin Walker and we truly. We can find a way to tell this, though. There's just no way that it will be. It's not funny. We tried to do it once, I feel like. I feel like we tried to tell it once. Oh, my God. One was, yeah, one was. We laughed so fucking hard at that. This sucks if you're listening to this. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. The listeners, I'm so sorry. I know, that's not a good one. Basically, let me try to tell this. It won't be funny to you guys, but I'm going to try to let you in anyway because I know what we just did was so annoying. I know. We were hanging out with a bunch of comics and Holmes was basically saying that they were distressed because they felt like. You felt like you had wronged this person, this comic. You felt like you were on the bad side of this comic for some reason. There's so many details I can't do, but basically, it's just as someone that I. It was just someone that I really, really loved is close to someone who I thought was a loser. Yeah, and basically, Holmes was telling everyone at the table confidently, it just really sucks. Because everybody knows this guy and if we're on his bad side, it would really suck because everyone knows him. And literally, then we're like, wait, who is it? And then Holmes said the name. It's a very funny name. And everyone at the table was like. Yeah, Chance was there and everyone at the table was like, what the fuck are you talking about? Nobody's ever heard of this guy. It just set off. And then we just kept saying his name and laughing until we cried. I thought I was going to throw up. We were laughing so hard. Because it just was one of those things that it was like. It really was one of those ones. That didn't even deserve this big of a bust, but it did something to us that was so visceral. And those are my favorite types of busts. The person's name was really funny. And then we also, I think, started laughing because we were like, if there is a room somewhere where people are just repeating our name and laughing until they cry. It's the meanest thing that could ever happen. But we weren't actually being mean to him. We were actually kind of being mean to you. Fully, fully, fully. We were like, what are you talking about? Fully, fully. And then we were being mean to ourselves because we were like, oh, this is actually. Not even funny. The fact that we're still laughing is stupid. And then we just kept crying. But that's when you laugh the most is when you're like, this is dumb. Why are we doing this? I'm trying to think of a physical one or whatever. What can you think of one? I mean, we bust all the time, but it's like, I do think it's. What is it? That one was where we were really, really sobbing. It's funny because I try to think of this sometimes in general. I try to think, what are the biggest laughs of my last month or year or life? Because I remember after that, I looked around the table and I was like, because we really probably were 10 minutes. We're laughing. We were in a lot of physical pain. And then I was like, how often do you guys get a laugh like this? And you were like, once a week. And I remember being like, that's amazing because I have periods of life where I'm like, it's been a second. And I definitely think even more with adulthood. Our time in high school and also improv days, I was crossing my legs to pee laughing all the time. Where then things do get a little more stressful and you're a little bit more like. It's like I still laugh all the time. And I think it's also that we're at comedy shit all the time. So my whole relationship with laughter has changed with what tickles it. But so it has to be almost something that can be so surprising and random as fuck that gets it to be so heightened. Because we see the funniest people talk all the time. So I'm laughing like ha-ha a lot. But one where you're like sobbing, sobbing. My mom growing up, one time my mom was driving growing up and I. So my mom pees her pants when she laughs really hard. Shout out, really cute. And one time when I was growing up, I was sitting in the very back of our minivan and she put on the brakes too hard and I didn't have my seatbelt on. And I flew forward and I hit my face. It was pretty scary actually. But in her rear view mirror, she just saw me flying. And she thought it was so funny. I was like fully hurt. I love your mom. I love your mom. I was truly like. She started laughing so hard that she had to pull over because she was like, who's gonna piss? And I was just like truly like my eye was like shaking or whatever, you know what I mean? I mean, I was ultimately really okay. And like, I love her so much. But I just remember her pulling over like three times in my childhood to like pee laugh like that. And it was really, really like made my childhood a lot better. Yeah. Was Kelly? Was Kelly a big laugher? My mom, yeah, my mom is a big laugher. She just, I, my mom is kind of, she's not a hard laugh to get, but my mom is like very. You get a big one. She's discerning. Yeah, she's like, my mom is a fun person. So she'll like giggle at anything. But to get like a crazy big laugh out of my mom, it takes a little work. Yeah. It takes a little bit of work for sure. And that's why you're really good at it. Well, I think there's something to it. Yeah, I think there's definitely something to that. There's something to it. Do you have, what was your last huge one that you had? My last huge laugh? I'm so fucked. I know. I can never remember them. This is the thing. I think about all, because I really do all the time have great big fun laughs. Me too. But I'm like, what is my most recent? It's that we're like, I'm holding them in a lot too because it'll be like on a show or something. Like I'll be like, try not to break or try not to, I don't know. I really don't know. And I'm so sorry that I, like I'm trying to think of more times with us even. We had, we had in Chicago some really, really good ones around at what cost when we were running that show. We cry a lot. We laugh about shit all the time. It is like, I'm like, is it because we're so busy or because I'm like smoking weed that I'm like, then they come and go. I feel like though our biggest laughs always, our biggest busts are not from, I feel like they're actually not smart humor normally. No, they're never from something that matters. It's always like, it'll be like a fucking noise or something. Wait, like that fucking gets me. Like, see, it'll be like, it will be like literally a noise or something fucking random. I'm like, oh my fucking God. I just thought of one. Oh, it's a good one. Okay, wait, this is one. So before I went to film season two of Overcommon City, I stayed, the sublet was up. And so I stayed at the Chelsea Hotel. And- I remember this era. I stayed at the Chelsea Hotel for like a couple of nights, which by the way, really, really, really fun and beautiful, really haunted bathroom for sure. But it was Carly and you came over and then we met up, Belieb if that's not, I don't know. And then the three, we were all hanging out. And then what had happened is, this is so expensive. Like, I don't have the money to pay for that. Like, the hotel was so expensive. It was like truly like basically paying rent for a couple of days. And I had earlier in the day when I just had Carly in and we were just chatting, a neighbor came over and she was like, she literally looked like a queen or something. Like she was like 107 and she was like being loud, you know? And I was like, I'm just talking to a friend and like I paid like $1,000 to do this, you know? And so I was like, okay. And I was just us talking earlier in the day. But then we all like smoke weed and hang out like later in the night. It's like 3 a.m. And we come back into my place and I'm like, you guys, we have to kind of whisper because she had got mad at me at like 3 p.m., right? And then I forget how it came to it, but somehow we started talking about playing trumpet. And we all started picturing if all of a sudden, like we're already whispering and being kind of noisy or whatever and she's whatever. And we know she's over there. We've been like laughing for like an hour and we know she's already in bed sort of like, you know, wanting to come over. And then I brought up, I was like, I just pulled, like if we add up after everything, after everything, I start playing a fucking trumpet right now. And then it got us so much. We were smoking, of course. But then we were sobbing because it was like, we already knew she was at her last. She was just in bed waiting to come. And then we cried. And then I think we did like a seven minute riff on like what else we could do in the room to make noise. Yeah, it was trumpet vibes. Yeah, and of course, the whole time we're like whispering. We were whispering, yeah. But that was a really, really special night. That was a really special night and a really good one. Yeah, yeah, really, really good one. I didn't get you to bike on that during that time, but I got you to bike. Caleb has been getting me to bike a lot and I really need to get a helmet. Like really, really bad. I don't want to die by bike. You've had a thing where you're just like, I could die anytime now, so let's just go. I'm not going to live my life doing, doing, I'm not going to live my life in any way where I'm like, this could kill me. It's like anything could kill you. That's a miserable life. I'm going to have fun and enjoy myself. And when I go, God, I wonder what happens, but I'm not going to worry about that. I know. I've been really reading stories lately where they're like, the people who die for like three seconds or whatever and someone comes in like. What have you found? Well, I found that a lot of kids apparently like when, like someone. Oh, I'm so fucking tired of this. Okay, good. I'm so fucking tired of this. I'm so fucking tired of hearing about kids' connection to the afterlife. I think they're just kind of dumb. Their hands will apparently raise to something or they'll be like, I'm coming. What? But I think these, I think they'll say stuff. They'll like say stuff out loud. Sorry, yeah. What stories have you heard? I mean, this is just me like, you know. Just their hands raise up? That tells me nothing. It says that maybe something's happy. I mean, if it was bad, you'd probably be like, right? You'd probably be like, I don't want like. That's actually a great point. Yeah, like the fact that they're like, that's kind of like sweet, you know? That's actually a really great point. I think I don't hate that. I don't hate that at all. Or they're inherently evil and the devil comforts them. Yeah, yeah. And that could be so real too. I mean, if God is what we were taught, the devil will comfort me as well. If God is what we were. If God is like, if God is like, don't be gay, all this kind of stuff. I thought about it a lot when I was like, because I had my friend like recommit his life to God and stuff like that, you know, after he came out in high school. It was like a really hard, like I, I just really, really thought a lot about like, okay, if this is the actual afterlife and like God doesn't like gay people and like doesn't like us like having fun and pleasure, we'll probably meet and we won't vibe. Could you imagine that just was, I guess it's totally possible, but it just feels like, I don't think it's possible at all. What a wild thing. That's crazy. I really am like, sometimes I think about what if Christian God is real and he really does hate gay people and I really did fuck up by doing the whole gay thing. Yeah. And then you have to submit. So I guess we won't get along. It is not, will we not get along? I'll be in the fiery lakes of hell, but like, also I'm just like, fiery lakes. I'm just like, I'm just like, that's crazy that I really did trade in eternal bliss for like 50 years of hot sex. Worth it? That is crazy. Not worth it at all. Yes it is. Half the time I regret it when it's over. Comedy royalty, Kate McKinnon returns as Queen Mortuana in Heads Will Roll. Heir Apparent, the highly anticipated sequel to Audible's fan favorite original comedy series. She's flanked once more by co-star Emily Lynn and a new star-studded ensemble including Richard Kind, Laurie Metcalf, Jimmy Fallon, Megan Mullally, Sam Richardson, and Carrie Coon, plus an extensive cast of other comedy greats. Queen Mo is back on the throne in Heir Apparent and facing her greatest challenge yet. Produced in Heir before her 40th birthday or lose everything and spend eternity as keeper of the menstruary. part medieval mayhem part razor sharp social commentary heads will roll era parent is a fantasy comedy for the ages it has everything trad wives polycules sasquatch mercenaries milk people toad on mole romance a child named barbara seriously everything don't miss a moment of kate mckinnon and a killer cast in heads will roll era parent a seed a child or seed the throne listen to heads will roll era parent available now on audible go to audible.com heads will roll series to start listening today y'all i got a question for you are you getting rewarded for paying your rent or mortgage right now if the answer is no you need to check out built becoming a built member means earning points on every housing payment no matter where you live built points can be redeemed for flights hotels lift rides amazon.com purchases future housing payments and more i'd recommend using them on a nice round trip flight for you and a loved one to enjoy a long weekend out of town becoming a built member is super simple all you have to do is download the built member app and download the built member app and download the built member app then link any credit or debit card to the app so purchases at your local spots become even more rewarding we love rewards and for the homeowners out there built works for mortgages too your housing payment is one of your biggest monthly expenses so why wouldn't you want to earn points on it download the built app and join the membership for where you live at join built.com slash so true that's j-o-i-m-b-i-l-t.com slash so true use our link so they know we sent you this episode is brought to you by booking.com folks we all work hard and we'll see you next time you're sitting in the back seat of your office carpool car in bumper to bumper traffic wondering how did i get here how did this happen to me how is this my life derogatory at that moment you open your phone to booking.com the next thing you know boom you're sipping on a my god and i'm like what the hell is this i'm like what the hell is this i'm like what the hell is this on the balcony of your beachfront hotel in miami the sun on your skin not a care in the world again you think to yourself how did i get here this is awesome positive connotation but with a smile on your face this time due to the positivity and the answer to that question booking.com that's how they make the entire process smooth and simple smooth and simple it's my nickname in college nicole so it's smooth and simple to get you you to get you on to your next great adventure or just your next great nap on the beach if your chance booking.com makes searching for your next day so quick and easy their website is quick and efficient at showing you all the best options for whatever type of trip you're booking for whether it's a mountain cabin getaway in the rockies or a vacation home with a pool in the desserts of mexico new mexico even booking.com has you covered once a destination gets into your head booking.com is a super easy way to get there go on book that trip it's easy booking.com booking.com has you covered once a destination gets into your head booking.com is a yeah. 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I just think I believe so extremely that there's no way. Because I actually do feel more spiritual. I'm a lot more spiritual than I used to be. You are. Yeah. And it really, I actually feel like I get like little, I feel like people who have died, I feel their energy sometimes. I feel energy from trees. I feel the other day I was telling you and Ada, I know, I know how you feel about it, but I was telling you and Ada the other day, I was like, I need to start carrying Neosporin on me. And then the next day, because I. Well, spring is here and summer's just around the corner. So if you're like me and want to soak up some rays, you got to check out our friends at Sunglass Hut to get your eyes right for all those fun, outdoor activities. They have a wide range of styles for the summer. You can only find at Sunglass Hut to give you that confidence boost to own your moment this year. Their exclusive protection plan allows you to make your way to the sun. 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It was like sometimes people just have like a cut or whatever that gets way worse than it has to because they're unhoused or whatever and I like instead of just having food. You did tell us about this. And I was saying that and then the next day this guy goes on the train he starts screaming crying at all of us. He the only medicine he says he's like I just need some Neosporin. I said now that has to be. Did you have some on you? No. Okay. So that felt horrible but you know what I did do? It's in my bag now. I went and bought some right after that because I was like that was me roasted and sometimes I wonder if that's like a friend who died. Cold comfort for that guy I'm sure but. Well I felt horrible. I wish I could find him. Nice that you can help the next victim. No I know. Of course I felt horrible. I like I was like tearing up. You know what I mean? I was like well but I was like. I was just playing. Well because it fucking it's it's insane that we've gotten to a place in society that someone can be screaming crying for help and that all of us are like if I helped every single person who did that there would be no part of the day left. Yeah. It's like that's fucking insane. Yeah I don't know. There's just so many things to try and fix you know. No totally. If you really stopped all day long. I helped this woman cross the street the other day. It took us about 30 minutes to get across. You told me about this and then she needed to get back across and you let someone else do it. I said we pass it forward. Yeah we pay it out. We pay it forward. We pass it on. We pass it on. What happens when we die do you think? Heaven hell? I think that we I don't have an answer for it but I just think that it will be like nice. Where are you at with God right now? I wish that he wasn't so tied to. I look out I did that. I wish that God was not so tied to uh he because in my brain it is that I do think I I I believe in an energy that is like a spiritual thing now but I the word God still flags for me. I think it's because so many of my friends have deeper trauma with it than I do. So like the other day I said something like I was like God really knew what he was doing when he like made you to like two that sounds crazy what I just said but I said that to two of my queer girlfriends and you could tell they were like like they hated it and they were like and I was like oh I try I guess I was more having more of a spiritual thing of like thank God the universe sent you guys to me but my like yeah he just like ruined my whole upbringing and I was like totally 100 percent you know but I annoying response from them by the way like yeah we all have trauma be nice right so I think that I I believe in this uh large energy I really really do I believe in the universe's energy and uh I don't think it's doing all good but I do think it's really trying to get us to I really in a big way we talked we talked this other night if you think all people are inherently good or bad and I thought that was really interesting how we kind of ended up agreeing at the end is that we thought they were inherently good but then right away they're like basically taught to be bad immediately corrupted by a world that is has removed itself very very intentionally and distantly from the way we're supposed to be living where are you with God uh I'm like on a journey again I feel like I go through periods where I don't think about it at all and I'm like probably not and then I go through periods where I'm like I really should get to the bottom of that at some point uh right now I'm on a journey with it again I've been on a journey with heaven which I talked about on here recently or depends on the time but I've been on a journey with heaven so I'm with whatever order the episodes come out in um God you are with heaven versus like you think people go to different places I think we actually all go back to like one no that's kind of what I've been experimenting with but I've I've been I've been wondering if maybe we don't all go to a good place like we all go to heaven and then our experiences in heaven are different based on internal internal experiences really I think so much about life on earth our external circumstances can be so bad and we can still be internally happy and our external circumstances can be so good and we can be internally miserable so what that tells me about our conditions as souls is that our internal feelings are not necessarily dictated by our external experiences and so even if we all went to a good place that had ideal external conditions we might be having different internal experiences of that um time and place that's really really interesting because it's like yeah yeah so I wonder if it isn't like we all go to a good place and people people who were evil have a miserable experience anyway because of the. realization of what they did on with their time on earth um that like you only get to enjoy the love and empathy and warmth in the afterlife that you created with your time here um and in the case of like you know a baby or something that it was only here for a year or whatever like that that that would that they would be as happy as they were you know i'm saying like that that would all that would all net out for me um god i would like to believe that there's some some force i think there is a force and a power that leads us towards good yes i don't know why it would be a person with a gender and a language and uh none of that makes sense to me no i don't think the gender i don't think the person at all zero zero zero and i also think i have no fucking idea but i really don't think it's that one and i think most of the time i just try to think about like what are we going to do while we're here and like how do i really really make them i this is what i do believe in i do believe like i'm here i believe like that we can affect people here and i have it makes me really sad when people live all of here for a time that we don't know about that makes me sad because i'm just like we do know a lot right now we know so much i'm like finally finishing sapiens it's taken me like probably 70 years because it's only all facts and i've been listening so i finally ordered it so i can like read it at the same time and it just like does give me hope to be like okay the scientific revolution when that happened for like 2 000 years before that everyone was like this is kind of how things are going to be because it was the same for like 2 000 years basically like how humans were doing everything and then the scientific revolution happened and like everything changed massively after 2 000 years and i'm like we know so much now like we know so much and i'm like we can make stuff so much better still and so for me i think my focus like i the only time it goes to more afterlife is sometimes when i feel like a weird energy thing where i like then i will be like hmm that's interesting and weird but for the most part i think the energy that i think about is just like yeah trying to be right around me and what can we do right now yeah i don't know what do you think it's the biggest thing you need to learn right now spanish always i feel like you've been really on your spanish though are you not learning i do learn it but i mean i mean i also think uh i need to i think that what i am learning is spanish always and then also uh to always try even when i fuck up always always always because sometimes i do like uh sometimes i just get really i do get affected in white and wiped out in a way of like oh it's really hard that when you try you can mess up and fail and i want to like yeah just keep straight i want to never stop trying new ways to make things better like with ai so ai right now it's really interesting all the people who not all the people a lot of people who were telling me this is like hating it to the extent that i do and he doesn't such an extreme world like i don't hate these if these are sentient robots or whatever i hate you i just really don't want you part of our world right now it's making things really bad and literally like a family friend right now like her electricity bill is like basically she has to move out because of a data center that just got built by her we know it's like killing like turn all the water brown we know all these things and a few of my friends who used to be really against it have been now like well it's just like a bipartisan issue like not a bipartisan issue anymore and like i've been like i've just started to be like well if it's going to be around like it is here like i was just talking to someone last night well now it's here so like even if i can just use it like a little bit in this way or like i'm making this art piece that like really like makes us think about what it is but i'm using it to make it and it is starting to make me feel like am i just like this cranky grandpa now and it's like but then i'm like i really don't want all these people to move out of their fucking houses that are already like oftentimes people who are more poor you know what i mean and it's like uh i really really think it's so bad for us and i really think the solution is not that we have to be like ai is here forever now i really believe that and so that's something i'd like to get better at is convincing people to not to really be like we don't have to do this at all i also think there's a big difference between look somebody who can't afford to go to the doctor using chat gpt to figure out what's going on with their symptoms yeah there's a difference between that and using it to make art if you are somebody who's using chat gpt to generate videos images art um to generate text in an artistic capacity to write for you you are not somebody who deserves to be taken seriously that's just that's just how i feel about it and people can do all of the hemming and hawing and hedging that they want to do about like i'm not going to be able to do that i'm not going to be able to do that like well that's how people talked about the radio and the computer and like look how silly they look now i don't care i'm happy if i look silly in 70 years because i said you're a brain dead fucking loser for making art with ai that's fine i'll just be somebody who looks silly in 70 years i really don't have a problem with that i'd be happy to be somebody who tried to have an ounce of fucking integrity yeah and for everyone in 70 years to think that i'm stupid that is completely fine with me it's you are not a serious person you don't deserve to be taken seriously and i said this to you like off this before off the podcast where it's like i just wish because i'll say the data center thing to some people about like how like a lot of people's in texas water was like all going brown and stuff which i know is still happening that was like six months ago when i saw that is like some people say that and they don't know what it's doing to water like some people don't know and i i wish that it i wish how like google just uses it now or whatever i used up to go for my phone but my computer still i'm doing minus ai whatever on google i wish so badly it like people could see the violence like i wish there was like a you know like i'll have a cigarette package has a cigarette package and i'll have a cigarette package and i'll have a cigarette package this is what your lungs will look like or like you can't fuck or whatever i wish it was like you know what i mean like every time you're just google searching something and this just happens naturally like this person is going to get out of their house because i think a lot of people if they knew how violent it was would never use it but they don't i think a lot of people actually are just so busy in their day-to-day life and it's like this search engine i use my whole life is now changed to doing this you also just don't need more ways to waste your time time is already so stolen stolen and like wasted you don't you actually don't need to spend any amount of time for an image an an image of you in sicily like riding a surfboard i know and the waves are gold coins or whatever the fuck like whatever it is you're making on there you have wasted your time you've wasted water you have pay your goofy ass friend to draw it pay your goofy friend to draw it or don't have it you don't need it it doesn't make any sense look it sounds like a cool photo no i do think it's like yeah mom's on facebook yeah it's just really silly to me especially young intelligent creative people being like actually i'm gonna make an art piece that asks us to shut up i have so much empathy for the people who don't understand how bad it is right now like i'm i just got back to new york i've been in canada for four months and i see like on the trains as i'm like oh my god since i got back like every ad on the train is a fourth it's like i was like they really are like shoveling it down but yes i agree i'm like right now i'm like we need to protect our attention and our time in a way that is like really really sacred and it definitely shouldn't be like getting to know a robot that doesn't know as much as your friend talking to it yeah i mean that's talking to it is that one i judge probably the most man i am so okay to be an idiot in 70 years if talking to it i'm ready to be considered be cool i know i cannot believe talking to it is nuts talking to it makes me talking to it makes me feel really really really mad when they're like yeah like getting to know her yeah it's like first off she's not her second off you're you don't know well they're all girls to me ai is all girls because they're stuck in god is a boy and ai is girls yeah god is a boy and ai is girls because it's got all the answers exactly and you're a feminist i'm an ai feminist see i saw it the other way totally they're stuck in a prison they can never move their body they have no ownership over it what'd you say they have no ownership over their body they're stuck inside yet still people will fuck them it's sad anna told i wanted to be clear anna's holding her laugh that would have been a big bust but in this one we'll say both are non-binary okay god and god and ai i'm not doing that they're all non-binary i'm not doing that and for all the people what's going on with your gender awesome question let's get into it i'm like i'm like do we got time drum roll awesome question yeah yeah i'm like i'm an awesome question i'm like i'm like um no what's going on my gender is that i feel non-binary but i'm completely good with uh she or they pronouns i'm really good with she i feel close to girlhood in the sense that we experience the same trauma growing up so i feel very close to it and i'm seen as girl a lot the other day someone from the back was like sir and i turned around and they're like sorry and i was like thanks it meant the world um but i didn't know that was part of your gender journey well you asked and now you know i'm excited i didn't know that you would ever feel flattered by sir i actually love to learn about you i don't want like a he him i don't feel but i do like uh yeah i did feel flattered by it i think but what i will say is that i think that um everyone's like taking back non-binary everyone's like oh people are taking it back because it got not trendy anymore and it's like it's not that it stopped being trendy it's that our government put out literal like statements saying that it's going to be that is illegal yeah like the lemkin institute of genocide it's like there's like a trans genocide like i think third flag warning for transgenocides and all that fine print of course trans people are under so much more are in so much more danger than a non-binary person who looks can pass as someone says you know what i mean anything 100 percent so that's why i would never take up space in that but if you read all the fine prints of all this stuff it says non-binary which is funny because our government's like admitting non-binary is real um they're like they're like we will catch all the non-binary fakers it's like wait um so i do think that it is like oh people are going back on this thing not only because all of you started making fun of it a bunch but also because our government is attacking it so um all this to be said i do wish that my gender could be something that was more for me and the people i know to really you know what i mean to care about because it doesn't feel very important to me in a sense of like i need to talk about it with hundreds of thousands of people you know but it does feel like i feel sad that the youth who got had this moment and pandemic and stuff where they They were getting to know their body more, a lot of people, and were like, oh, I do feel non-binary. And this has been a thing for, like, thousands of years, like a third gender. And I'm noticing this because I'm not under the gaze of a really patriarchal, dominant society for a second. And then a lot of them did feel like I have to take this back because not only is it being teased a lot, it's being, like, truly, like, put in danger by our government. Yeah. You're, like, not even men and women, okay? I don't know. Boys and girls. No, it is funny that the conservatives' big thing is that they're mad at specifically trans men and trans women when it's, like, they're picking. Like, they're actually falling into the system you guys love. You should be the most mad at non-binary. Your anger doesn't even make sense. You're not even, like, good at this. No, they're not good at it at all. And I just want to say, yeah, if you're, like, experimenting with your gender, I hope, and if people around you make fun of it all the time, like, get better friends. Yeah. If you're experimenting with your gender, we love you. We love you so much. And we think you can be they, she, he. You've always been a hard he, him. I am. I really, I feel very connected to boy. I've said this many times. Yeah. But I feel, um, I just love trans people. I think trans people are so cool and interesting and brave and awesome. Well, we have, like, no rights without them. Yeah. I also just love, I think, one of the things I find the most confounding about the anti-trans shit, there are so many. So easy. That I'm, like, it's incredibly evil. It's incredibly nosy. Mind your own business. Why do you fucking care? Yes. I just find it so bizarre for a million reasons. But one of the things I find the most confounding about transphobia is this idea, and it's not that I don't know where it comes from, but the idea that trans people are, um, like, woke scolds. Most trans people, there's a very small minority of queer and trans people that are, um. Uh, unforgiving, unrepentant, like, petty, and, uh, militant. That is totally, every group has their, their portions of that. And they have reasons for being that way. Right. But most trans people I've ever met are just like, eh, if you kind of try, I don't really care. That's a one. If you just, like, try and are nice to me, I'm really not worried about it. One thousand percent. I think that's why it makes me so fucking mad. Yeah, when people, like, really, really are like, oh, you know, coming to me with your hard rules. It's like, I don't, no one cares if you, I don't want you to acknowledge me at all. Like, I feel like a lot of trans people are like, don't even talk to me. I just. I just feel like it's so wild that so many moderate Republicans I have known in my life are able to see that the psycho, furthest right, like, alt-right, Nazi, right-wing, intense, militant people are not representative of their whole. Can't see how that applies to other groups. They can't see how most trans people are not the, like, craziest, loudest, maddest, angriest trans people they've ever. Like, every group has extremes and poles and ends, but most people across every group are just, like, regular people that want to be left alone and get by. That's, like, true of most people across groups. Yes. And the fact that they're not able to see that just is so confusing to me. And that, like, you guys are really more obsessed with trans people than really, really anyone else at all. I think that makes me, I think the thing that, like, makes me the most upset is that I'm, like, it's just such a small part of the population. And when I do, I mean, before I went to Canada, you were getting, like, texts from me in, like, a kind of intense state because I was, like, I, because, I mean, we know in Kansas they took away trans people's right to have a license. Yeah. And it's, like, okay, this is such a small population and it feels like I just, I, I think the queer community does a good job standing up for each other. I just wish that it could be even, I just wish it could be, we could be even louder all the time about, like, that's something I'd like to get better at is, like, figuring out how the fuck to protect all of my trans, like, siblings all the time. Like, just, like, the trans people in my life because it, I don't. Yeah, you've been doing a really bad job at it. Thank you. I don't have enough money to, like, pay for, like, it's, like, it's, like, there's so many layers of it. It's, like, they're oppressed in the workplace. They're not hired for being trans all the time. Like, it's, like, and we had friends who had to come out as trans in Kansas who weren't out before. Like, it's, like, which I don't know if we cut or not, we're not seeing names, but it's, like, because of just, like, am I going to lose my job now that I can't have a license? Almost loves you guys. Caleb thinks about it. No, I love you guys. I love you guys big. I'm always going back and forth between whether or not I want to be earnest or tell jokes. I, I, I am probably the person on here who comes and, like, does the least amount of jokes. Not very good at doing jokes on here. Sorry. You're not the person who does the least jokes, but I, you definitely, when you and I get together, we can get into our serious bag pretty quick. Do you wish that I came with more jokes? Of course not. Okay. I think that it's one of those things where. I have never been obsessed, by the way, just to say, I have said this many times in the podcast, I've never been obsessed with the idea of this being a comedy podcast. Yeah. This, I, I think it's most of the time funny. I have a great time, but I don't really care if we have, sometimes guests come in and they bring, like, a really thoughtful, reflective interview. Sometimes I come in and I'm not capable of being silly. Like, this just, you, we're just people and we're talking and, like, it's going to be whatever it's going to be. We talk about, we talked about this the other day, I feel like, but how it feels like if you're a comedian or a funny person and someone sees you not being funny or sees you being earnest, they're like, not funny. And it's like, oh, like, comedians aren't funny all the time. That would be a psychopath. Yeah. You know, it's, I, it feels important to me to, I don't know, yeah, have earnest conversation. It worked. I was reading all my childhood diaries. You guys got that? Insane text from me. And because my mom literally put into my storage unit without telling me the childhood memory boxes that she no longer wanted of mine. So then they showed up at my house. She was like, we don't have space. I love her so much. Shout out, Kath. And I went through a diary I had never gone through. And I was like, I thought I would sound stupid. And I was like, oh, the main difference of, is that I just sound really earnest. And I was like, as kids, we're like so earnest. And I do think growing up, it is kind of like, that is a main thing that gets sort of put aside, especially for comedians. So, yeah, play gets put aside a lot. But no, I think, yeah, I, I've never, I've never been obsessed with this being any one thing in particular. I don't care. I don't want it to be, um, this show is whatever I want it to be. And that feels great to me. Shout out. Shout out. Something funny that did happen to me was, did I tell you when I got a flower for my date the other day and that she started wrapping it with paper that said, love you? What? I was going on a date the other day and I was like, she was like running a little bit late. So I was like, I'll pick up a flower. I went to. I went to like a store and I got a flower and there was a language barrier and she started wrapping it with like wrapping paper and it said, love you. But it was a first date. And I was like, not there yet. Nunca. Not, not, not, not. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, no. Como se dice? No, no. I was like, yeah. Yeah. I was like, como se dice? Not there yet. Um, and then she, uh. Como se dice? Nueva. Yeah. Yeah. Nueva. Relationship. Yeah. Yeah. And then she like rewrapped it in a plain paper, but I was like, not me coming for a first date. I love you. I love you. Here's your, I love you flower. Taking a flower to a first date is kind of funny. I know. I thought I was going to try it on boy. That was kind of cute. Boys don't do that. Yeah. Come on. Boys don't do that. Not anymore. You don't understand the state of our men and boys. Sometimes I'll fart on them right away. Holmes. Chance is like, sometimes I open the door, rip ass on that girl. Don't make chance like that. Okay. I'm sorry. He said he went. I thought, what do you think flower is? Girl or gentleman? I thought it was kind of gentleman. Boys don't behave that way anymore. We've men and boys have totally lost their touch. I did my huge shirt. I do a curtsy. You flower. Madam. Miss. It says, I love you all over the flower. Yeah. It says, I'm like, I'm like, you're stuck with me. She's like, holy fucking shit. You propose. I've started being, I'm at a point in dating where I'm just being really, really upfront about everything. Yeah. I was messaging a guy the other day. We matched. We, my first message him after matching was let's not mess around. What are your red flags? What did he say? It was great. He told me his red flags. Were they scary? No, he hedged a little bit. And I said that he, he, he was like, he was like, I don't know. I'm like, I'm, I kind of like, he's like, he's like, I'm opinionated and loud. And I was like, you hedge. Tell me the real ones. Oh, he's like, he's like, he's like, he's like, I'm hysterical to a fault. He was like, he was like, what are yours? I was like, I'm really scared of commitment. He was like, he was like, good to know. Good to know. I don't know if we're going on a date or not. You have to go on a date now. I'm just like, I can't, I have no more time to play games. I'm like, what? You're ready for kids. You have to get the kids soon. I'm not ready for kids right this moment. You need to be ready for kids when I am, because you're going to be the one doing it. I'll be a surrogate. I feel like you don't even talk to a lot of boys. I do. I talk to boys. I actually do. I talk to boys more and more because I'm starting to love more and more. Even with a boy's evil, I have this new thing where I go all to his friends around. I go, don't drop him. Stay friends with him. I need you guys too. That's what I've been telling him. What evil boy have you protected recently? I would never like name evil boys names here, but I did like, I was having a moment with these two really young boys who I worked with recently who are really sweetie. And I was like, I feel like I have some girl. Girlfriends who they'll say publicly a lot. Like if you find out a guy in your group is a bad guy, you better drop him. He shouldn't be allowed around. Yeah. And I really problem in general. Yes. In which I like, I understand like he's your, like you don't want to be in the same place as him, whatever. Get him out of here. Get him out of here. Uh, 100%. But everyone's like, everyone's kind of quietly giggling because of the number of times you've brought up, of course. And what do I say to that? You love. No. What do I say? I would love to never talk about again. Okay. So, but I was to them. I was like, if you have a guy being bad more in like a way of just like, he's kind of a dick or whatever. I was like in your friend group and he gets in trouble with people. Don't drop him. I was like, please like try to fix and make him better and heal because the solution can't be what we have. All these ang, all these guys who already sucked all their friends, drop them. Great. Can't wait to be their neighbor. Yeah. They're masked up and they're going to DC with the boys. They are literally, they have 39 days of training. Yeah. It's a fucking disaster. Yeah. We've got a, it's going to be uncomfortable and a lot of people aren't going to want to hear it. and we've been trying to have these conversations, but this like, fuck everybody who's ever done anything wrong let's isolate them until they die they should never work again type of approach to that society is clearly not working not working so we're gonna have to figure something else out so i'm on i'm on board with that i'm on board with your analysis we agreed we always agree you never said you're the lake thing the three reasons i had a real reason at the end i'm not gonna give you three reasons that i love a body of water fine we'll do it we'll do the game another time i'll tell you my favorite body of water once i think of it lake michigan lake michigan i love because it's chicago summer lake michigan i just love lake michigan i love lake michigan i love the great lakes i enjoy lake michigan i love lakes because you can hang out all day lakes are way better than the ocean and it's not even close i know the ocean is totally scary and bizarre oceans like the ocean is scary scary scary scary too deep goes on for too long do you have a fish you're really scared to see treacherous the ones that have their own light on their head and it has like it has its own light from being too far down should have never known about him don't like that he exists did you learn about him from finding nemo also piranha no learn about him in science class piranha scary most things that caleb learned in science class i got from pixar um that's beautiful yeah piranhas no yeah i don't like that either jellyfish why are you so cute if you hurt us crazy yeah i don't like that um the ocean scares me too the ocean's always scary lakes on the other hand what a gorgeous experience is the lake the best ever i love the lake i know i love the lake so much you can hang out all day you can it still feels massive hang out all day at the ocean you can't really when you're in there because you have to be on guard all day you can get into a deep talk while you're swimming in the ocean right you can kind of be like you know oh do you have an eating disorder growing up you know where it's like in the ocean you can't that happens next thing you know she's like believe me you don't even mean and you're like under and it's like you can't talk about something really you have to be on guard yeah unless you're on a surfboard like sitting or something yeah but if you're on you have to be on once last time you were in the ocean you have to be more for a dip last year but you have to be more on guard when you're on a surfboard because then your legs are just dangling if you're sitting on a surfboard your legs are dangling and they're begging to be bitten i'm more scared of the water than shark i'm scared of it all i'm scared of sharks and i don't like the pr campaign that's been going on for them but it's like you have to piss them off and when they go when people have the audacity punch them in the nose yeah oh i would punch them in the nose like i'm underwater having the scariest moment of my life i find its nose and then lock in to punch it you don't have a choice you're gonna die you'll find that you'll see me dead quick no homes you'll find the nose and punch i guarantee when you get attacked by a shark and i do see it for you you're gonna you're gonna find that nose and even better if you can kick it because you probably got more force in your legs you know i got strong legs i know you do i really do i've been proud of them lately you do too we both have strong legs i have incredibly strong legs my legs never had a choice i know there's actually something i need you to help me carry back home we'll do that soon what okay down the stairs i basically had all these movers bringing way too much stuff and now i have to bring a bunch of stuff back out yeah you'll be hiring a task grab and i'm not gonna come carry stuff down your stairs i brought flowers today that is beautiful but we're too old for that shit fine what is it it's a huge like a it's like a dresser that was really heavy you lost me at huge comes out you guys i'm so proud of this i just want to say to everyone trash mountain is about to be one of the best movies in the world sorry i just am so so proud it makes me emotional i don't want to cry right now you are in that movie i'm in it for just a beat but it's like the dream of my life and it just like the script made me truly truly cry so hard i just think there's really no guest stars in the movie there's like the cast and that's it you're like the only true guest star in the movie it is an honor of my life and i just think it's gonna be so good do we have any info of when it comes out no we have some info we can't say michelle's getting oh we'll just look forward to it i was wearing this though in canada and this this guy trash mountain what's that i was like a movie that you'll see and i expect a high rating and then i like never see him again i know he's gonna think to him why didn't you i don't think it's good for the movie that you were kind of mean to me i don't think it's good for you to question my fucking hat when i'm getting a coffee yeah that's fair enough you know what i mean you know i got a new assistant recently her name is coming for you michelle she's she's replacing michelle michelle didn't want to text me back this morning so michelle were you just sleeping forgot to text me back that lana starts today you know i've been watching this documentary about the founding fathers totally i finished it now it's been really weighing on my mind i've talked about it a lot on here okay tell me something about i haven't watched i love a george washington after he like reluctantly became president spent like a fucking year going to like every single town he could go to and just like chatting with people and being like well so what do you guys think we should do about this country the president doesn't really do that anymore at all uh well that's crazy i mean our president does nothing but yes the president's probably for a while haven't been doing that enough that's what i'm saying presidents haven't been doing that they don't even hold town halls they hold like rallies where they speak and don't listen i'm like what's going on with that no i mean i mean i think that a lot of people called the representatives for their first time ever in the past like year and as someone who would call like daily for a in my life it starts to even feel like that starts to feel like it's not doing anything and then they start to go like well at least it fills up the boxes and they see that numbers are calling but it's like it would be actually nice if we know someone important is talking to us yeah i think we have too few representatives for too big of a population we've outgrown our system the electoral college obviously needs to be abolished it makes no fucking sense zero it was made as an agreement to appease slave owners and those people don't matter we should not have like it doesn't make any sense the house the house of representatives makes no sense the senate makes no sense but when you run for office it all goes away why does rhode island have the same amount of senators as california no we're gonna have to square this eventually we're gonna have to square for sure doesn't make any sense i love that you love docs how i do basically caleb and i only watch documentaries we don't watch real tv or movies very much what was the fucked up one that lisa said to me the other day well you know that you know what i did where i asked my favorite documentarian to get coffee because we had a similar amount of followers on instagram so i was like who might answer my favorite documentarian oh nice and it was one of those things where that's why you can't assign a number to people like that because we were in a similar spot where i was like but he didn't know what a super fan i was so then it was like a really scary coffee for him i think because he's like celine dion to me you know and we were just it was across from him and i was like vibrating i was like your work has just like changed me and he was like yeah you could tell he was like i thought he was gonna get coffee with someone like to talk oh yeah he was like fellow artist and i was like super fan you're celine dion and then i was like you shouldn't build it it's like you're saying he's selling dion to me he is really funny to me well i just like think a good documentarian is the best thing ever i i really it's my favorite i don't know i what would you make a documentary about right now if you had a million dollars it's really like hard because there's things that i think are the most urgent and then i'm also thinking about like what i i mean honestly i would probably make it about um i would try to make it about people obviously who don't have their story shared i would try to make it about uh i would try to make it like kc tenants and like tenant unions oh fun that'd be a good one but i remember i talked to tara about that once and she i was like i thought she'll try to make a documentary about you and she was like yeah and it made me laugh really hard where i was just like she doesn't want to do that she doesn't want that to be but it's like i think uh to me meeting tara and learning about kc tenants and tenant unions in general had this thing where i was like there was just so many people trying without succeeding that i'd experienced and i was like really needing hope and to me she's such a doer and so i like documentaries where i finish them i love a documentary where i where you're always going to feel sad for a documentary for the most part but i like to leave one feeling like now i actually also have hope and i think that that is what uh like the tenant federation like all for me it feels very like this is real change and hope and i want i don't like a documentary that makes you just want to die even though i watch those ones a lot too yeah you know do you watch manosphere louis thoreau's new one on netflix i did i thought that that one was really really good because it wasn't not about just like that boys are bad but about how like you keep the internet algorithm is like that i thought that i love louis thoreau he does one in these miami jails that blew my mind but yeah i don't know do you have a favorite documentarian no well aiden aiden my area close friend she uh she hers will come out eventually summer 2000 this is a documentary about a man who's been in jail for years and i like that hers is about like how adults have like lost their play and like creative like a creative spirit and stuff and i think that another one if i could make two documentaries i would go more to like the gooby girls and like what how what are we doing about people losing their goof you would make a documentary about gooby girls yeah i would and what do you mean um well it kind of is in line with my so true so should i say it what's so true to you my so true is that gooby girls are an endangered species and i'm really really really freaking out about it but i'm gonna do something about it for sure which is about to bus fest august one please come bushwick okay and so i'll say that more but i really really am worried about this i feel like because of the internet because of our government because of a million reasons we are losing goober girls i'm talking about like i think like the internet has made the younger generation scared to embarrass themselves in a huge way like i was talking to this gen z girl the other day she was like she was i was like well you know that one girl who was like far growing up to make everyone laugh and she was like no and i was like oh my god i was like what i was like you didn't have a girl who was like farting so her friends would bust at the party and she was like no one would fart and no girls were farting i was like are you fucking serious goober girls are like someone who's authentically them authentically themselves and i really really feel like goober guys they're still allowed to exist on tv and stuff it can still be charming goober girls you can't get fucked you'll see the goobiest girl you know these days and they'll literally be like and you're like where's your goob at where'd it go you used to be doing the worm bitch it worries me i'm i didn't realize this was a problem i'm really loving i'm learning so much right now you if you really start thinking about it you'll start noticing that the goobs are really they're not gone you can never kill us you can never kill us off completely but they're endangered and i i really really uh i want us to be doing stuff about it i don't blame anyone i just want you to know like follow your goob and if you're a goob at home and here's the thing if you're a goob you can also be a bad bitch people think this people think it's like this bad bitch or goob there's a venn diagram you can be in the middle you can be a goob you can also be a bad bitch you can also be a bad bitch in a goob in a real way i'm just i'm really getting concerned for it because i think without goobs like how are we going to fix all this if there's no silliness if there's no silly there's no goob i no play so how if there's a young girl listening right now how does she follow her goob uh let's say you have a feeling in your brain that you want to make a silly noise but everyone would be like why'd you do that let it out i'm so dead serious like like gooby girls you know you're doing gibberish i'm like zoom and ah it's like that sometimes it needs to come out let's play for once you know oh i have a little dance move gooby girls they dance how they really want to dance what do we have now that's a gooby girl a gooby girl holding back it's i mean i could sob it really devastates me and so i'm just like and i really understand how it happened capitalism it does not like the gooby girl the algorithm hates the gooby girl when you're stressed about money that's very hard for the gooby girl of course you're like how could i possibly be silly my kids don't have enough money for a lunchbox you know it's like a lot of things i know a lot of things are attacking the gooby girl but i'm here to really be like i will never let you die and just like and if you're you're uh if you do act silly or goob and the people around you are sort of like run run run run because oh you surround yourself with gooby girls they're afraid of their goob you surround yourself with goobs you're a goob you're a goob and a bad bitch i think i'm only a goob yes and i am it's specifically why i'm putting on a comedy festival on august 1st for real because i was just like what do i do about this and i was like i just want a day where we get to all be together and have joy and be around other goobs because i'm not going to be around yeah your comedy festival has upset me i just don't understand why no boys i didn't even realize you didn't do that on purpose i genuinely was just thinking like who were the funniest people i know and i just like made the line up that's not true i wasn't asked i'm i'm wait this is super uncomfortable um are you gonna come i mean it depends you get you i'll i'll comp you sorry you can come the second you can come the second year maybe okay i'll i'll ask you to be on it the second year i really will no i know you're so funny you make me laugh so fucking hard i just you said that you asked the funniest people you know and my name never even crossed your mind for your goob fest i'm i'm really really like i i feel embarrassed i feel like i just maybe like i guess i knew the need for gooby girls and non-binary people was maybe stronger or something or maybe you weren't letting your goob out enough who's all on the lineup we have well it's actually funny because not like i would say there's probably two on there who aren't goobs but it's because their goob has been broken down but they're still really funny and their goob is going to come out the day of okay so i'm going to ask you to be on it the second year who have been on the pod uh lisa not funnier than me next name joe sunday not funnier than me i think the other one's on the pod mary beth varone not funnier than me um you've never had asha on the pod asha ward no i love asha not funnier than me she's funny as fuck she's so funny can't hold a candle to me isn't grace cool and schmidt on the lineup grace cool and schmidt couldn't hold my sneakers molly carney molly carney not funnier than me you want to come this year and next year you'll be on the festival yeah huge i'll be there but that's what i'm doing you know i love all those people that sounds like a blast you have your you have your earnest i love the festival i'm excited about it i love the festival i'm excited about it and i also feel i get scared i i do get nervous hosting but then i always remember how important it is to like do stuff and you've always been a big inspiration with me as a doer not inspiring enough to get an ask though huh no i really am planning to be there i'm really excited about it i think it's really fucking awesome that you're doing it if katie doesn't have her baby right then i'll be there yeah and if katie does you have to go be an uncle baby i have to go be an uncle i have to go to baby i think well i think babies really help people get in touch with their goob so that's gonna be really exciting for them well and it's yeah if it turns out to be a girl maybe i can give the message when i get there i can grab the baby hospital and say be goob yeah by the ear by the ear goob follow your goob i'm worried about you losing it they kick you out they're like he was whispering to her a lot when you were in the room yeah he was really talking to her in a way that we don't like do you do you feel uh you feel in touch with your goober i think so time to time it's a it's a balance i don't always feel goober do people do you feel like when you first started being more on the internet that it was stolen for a second i'm not thinking that i'm actually genuinely asking what'd you say like it got stolen for a second i think sometimes when you're massively uh like when you're perceived by a mass is when i see a lot of people's goob get snatched but yours is i do think you have yours no i don't think that happened i think that um i think if anything i just wanted to explore different things i think i was originally like doing character videos and being very silly and i liked all of that and then i got tired of it i got tired of that particular form of expression but i still have that in my life no you're still totally have goob yeah yeah and being a goob doesn't mean you can be serious being a goob is just being authentically yourself well there are people that are authentically themselves that aren't goobs though if you really go super authentic yourself though i don't know sometimes it i there are some people that are just like accountants that are just not gooby i did i did an accountant and during the work day she was an accountant when we got home she was like you know what i mean all of a sudden some gooby stuff was really coming out of my mouth and i was like oh my god i'm so sorry i'm so sorry about okay that it's not to say that everybody who's an accountant can't be a goob i'm just saying do you do you disagree that there are some people that are completely authentically themselves that have no goob in them i think the case is still out no it's not because i i'm settled i'm really thinking about this i'm really thinking about this in a real way because to me there's yes there's a huge chapter of like goob girls the one who's like so much fun that it can be scary sometimes where you're like at a sleepover and you're like she has a knife and she's being funny but she might hurt us you know um those ones exist yeah but then there are really i do think that a lot of people who have zero goob i do think it's because they're trying they have been made so intensely to make sure that they do everything exactly i love you and i love your heart and mind i just think some people are boring i think some people are not gooby or silly some people are just literally they're just not that silly or interesting and that is completely okay you're like you're like you're like some people are boring and they're ugly and they don't relate to anyone and that can be beautiful i didn't say the the uglier you said boring some people are boring and that is completely okay i think that not i think we can agree i think we can agree on every boring person has not had the gooby beaten out of them some people were born with no gooby we can agree on this sure i'm willing to nice okay okay but no no no no well you will you agree with me though that you're watching gooby girl get a little endangered do i think gooby girl is endangered i think authenticity is in danger in general and i think certainly that that it will impact the gooby girl community thank you so it sounds like we agreed you want to shake on it authenticity is under attack and the gooby girl might catch an arrow the gooby girl who was shaking ass like she's not she's she's in under bed you know she's not going out i think there's still gooby girl shaking there is i said endangered i didn't say extinct thank fucking god they'll never go extinct you'll play a game yeah i would love to all right i'm gonna read you 15 statements you're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if what i said is true i'm gonna read you 15 statements you're gonna tell me as quickly as you can if what i said is true i just said was true or false homes if you get 10 or more correct we're gonna give you 50 us dollars i know i have to go really fast i'm always bad at this so i'm just not gonna judge let's go fast toronto is home to the scotia bank arena true true papa picasso died in 1973 false true mars is shaped like a rugby ball mars is shaped like a rugby ball it's a ball i mean true true dale earnhardt won more nascar races than jeff gordon who's the first guy dale earnhardt won more nascar races than jeff gordon false false florida state university i don't know either of them florida state university was founded on january 24th 1851 uh false it's true and that's my birthday carl the mouse was the first mammal to be cloned carl the mouse false false it was dolly the sheep it was dolly the sheep you imagine her the renaissance started in the 14th century um this one's embarrassing probably that i should know uh false true it's true the cube root of four is four true true the capital of germany is munich uh true false berlin oh berlin nebraska state motto is equality before the law false true miley cyrus's birth name was destiny cyrus false true you should have gone by destiny bitch destiny's awesome latitude measures east to west positions latitude measure when you do the ones that are like actually can make me seem dumb it's so rude latitude measures east to west never eat shredded wheat true false longitude up and down in latitudes this longitude is east to west infinity is a number um false true it's false it's false alfonso robero when dancing with the stars it means nothing to me false true windy city heroes close permanently in 2021 oh false i hope say it what's your answer false false they're still open okay how'd they do a strong seven no really really bad one of my worst there was only one i'm embarrassed about the renaissance one otherwise i say nebraska for a motto you're not doing very good at it hey say that get them get them get them get them nebraska uh i love you so much thanks for doing it i love you bigger than me the whole world thanks for having me i love you more than anything this time you what i asked you did ask to come on because yeah stop don't bring up past drama we got a big fight about that no we didn't we don't have we never had a huge fight have we not no i don't think we will until it gets physical oh whoa destiny cyrus walks in destiny walks in tell people plug what you want to plug we got to get out of here what i want to plug is um august 1st come to about to bust fast you go about to bust calm uh door is at three show starts at 3 30 it's a ends at like hard 9 p.m it's gonna be a day of truly everyone this festival has made me bust laugh so hard and um i'm also going on tour in the fall homesick tour to all the states i've ever lived in and also keep listening to the podcast i love caleb and so too well spring is here and summer's just around the corner and i for one plan to spend as much time as humanly possible outside in the sunshine after a long winter so if you're like me and want to soak up some rays you got to check out our friends at sunglass hut to get your eyes right for all those fun outdoor activities they have a wide range of styles for the summer you can only find at sunglass hut to give you 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