Hollywood & Washington Are the SAME Industry | Vile And Horrendous Episode 4 | Joe DeRosa

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I want this to be the thing that I can, you know, so I don't have to call my friends anymore every three seconds, and yell, "Do you know what I mean? I want this to be my outlet." And, you know, so instead of my friends hearing it, it will now be the pussy hounds that have to hear it. That's still their name as of now. We have not reviewed the entries for their new names. Did you know we have a lesbian? I'm not a lesbian. Is that what everybody else is saying? I'm a lesbian, and I take offense at that. I always felt I was a lesbian. I always felt that I really was just a man who was actually a woman who loves women. I feel like a lesbian. How does this shirt fit, by the way? Does it look okay? Yeah, it looks good. Yeah, we're going to get demonetized on YouTube for a logo. But I love the movie Phantasm, too, so I don't care. I don't, well, how was it fitting my womanly figure? Well, you know, because that's another thing in the comments. Everybody's going to point out how the shirt fits. I mean, it's just why do we do this to ourselves? Why? I mean, putting yourself on the internet, it's like going into a crotted theater and asking people to throw the rotten fruit at you. It's just so dehumanizing, but, you know, hey, who am I to complain? I'm happy to be here. I do have a shapely figure. I do carry a gut. I do have, I would say I do potentially have breasts, nothing. Looking audacious, tasteful A-cups, what are you going to do? By the way, I complained a couple of weeks ago about going to the dentist, and I got good news at the dentist, which was nice, but I complained that the dentist, like, couldn't really give me any, and I'm not knocking my dentist, but just couldn't really give me any firm answers on some stuff I was asking. But I had a meeting today, consultation today, with the clinician I work with at a wonderful company called Ways to Well, and you got to do blood work every, like, six months, because you have to, you know, they've got a monitor of the stuff you're doing, like the testosterone, and yes, I am on testosterone for those that you don't know. It's mandatory. I work Joe Rogan's club. You have to be on testosterone to work at the comedy mothership. Now, I love testosterone, and I'm on some supplements and things like that, and I did, I went to the Key West, excuse me, comedy festival last month. My friend Brian Quinn, one of my best friends, of the impractical jokers, it's his festival that he does in Key West, Florida, and it is the most insane festival you could ever partake in. It is just a drunken extravaganza of ridiculous affairs. I think my obligation for being there was doing one 20-minute set of comedy over four days. Every other thing you do, as you would imagine in a place like Key West, it would be like, "Hey, can you judge the belly flop contest tomorrow? It's ridiculous." So, you're drinking the whole time, believe it or not, you're not eating well, you know, you're going to, they'll be like, "This is the, do you want to go to the bar that invented the chili dog?" Yeah, let's eat dinner there, you know? So, you just get pretty hammered, and I smoked a bunch of cigarettes, and I definitely did not eat right, and I came back from that and immediately did my blood work for my ways to well six month check up, and I was like, "I don't even want to know what these results look like. I don't even want to know." Gang, full improvement across the board for my last, I don't know how it's humanly possible. I don't know how it's humanly possible. Somehow drinking and eating badly is benefiting me. Am I, am I like children of men like where you should be trying to get me across some border so I can save humanity with my blood, am I, am I legend, am I legend? I am legend, is it me? I might be the key to immortality. Anyway, all right, what's going on here? I'm not going to eat a beef, I do want to eat a beef stick, but, yeah, well. Give it a try. Let's, should have peed, by the way, didn't pee. Oh well. Walter Winchell never peed. You know, he would hold this pee. That's a real thing. Walter Winchell, one of the great journalists of our time, the original kind of Howard Stern of the 1930s and 40s, the first ever radio personality to do gossip and talk about celebrities and stuff. He never peed before he did his show, and if you ever listen to his old recordings, you know, they always start with, "Good evening ladies and gentlemen of America, let's go to press." And he talks very quickly, and apparently what he would do is he would hold his piss, so he was all like this, you know, doing it, you know, I guess, you know, I guess they didn't have drugs back then, but he wanted to be like, "Amped," and he would hold his pee. So I'm going to try to do that during this. We're just pissed myself. We'll see. All right, let's get into it. More! Oh, more orange! Oh, it's a good beef stick. Okay, I know how obnoxious it is to chew and talk. Do you guys have any thoughts about why I chew this? I kind of want to be sick now. Here. I got tons. Yeah, just chuck it. Take it! Eat it! Animal! Thank you, Master. Take my scraps! All right, this is something I wanted to talk about for a little while. There are certain people. It's not everybody, but it's certain people who need to realize that every, and I'm talking about regular people here, just regular old folks, you, me, regular folks. There are certain people that need to realize that every single one of their heavy quotes important opinions does not need to be publicly voiced, okay? People are screaming into a vacuum on a daily basis. It's got to stop. It's not healthy. It's not healthy. I don't know if you've been on threads or ex lately or Instagram, I mean, it's all social media, you know, but go to any of these platforms and I'm sure that you already do. You have these people, again, regular folks, it's not their job, it's not their duty, it's just regular people going through their day. They're not reporters, it's just regular people going through their day. They're on these platforms. all day long doing these like socio-political and socio-economic posts about how horrible everything is which hey express yourself that's fine but but this is what I'm getting at these posts get like two likes it'll get like two likes it'll be somebody on threads like Trump as a bitch oh you know which fine if you think that two likes mom dummy is turning New York into a great belief you know whatever it is three likes prices at the supermarket or reflection of the police state state no likes it guys get a friend get a friend just one and and go have a coffee at a conversation to get out of your system now I know that I am directly contradicting what I said at the top of this episode that the point of the show is for me to not have to do this to my friends but I feel like it's just a waste of energy it's it's amping yourself up into this negative state and nobody really really responds it's the really the worst on threads threads like kind of berries things and whatever I just I don't understand it just just just get a friend or or I just I never thought I'd see the day where standing shirtless on a street corner screaming through a megaphone would literally reach more people than most social media and everybody just keeps doing it imagine setting your makeup then forgetting it's even theirs meet new grippy setting mist from Maybelline New York Zelda Miss technology locks in your look for up to 24 hours with flexible all day comfy grip no tightness no stickiness no residue just clump to a hydrated skin that still feels like your skin try new grippy setting mist from Maybelline New York maybe it's Maybelline everybody keeps doing it there's literally people screaming on social media getting less listeners and responses than the insane man that has like the sandwich board on him that says like I am Christ going the apocalypse is coming like more people are listening to that guy so my point is and I really want to be clear about this I'm not telling you to not do social media we've all been indoctrinated into it and I'm also not telling you to stop posting this kind of content on social media if this is really what you believe in and you want to find I'm just saying don't post it on social media this kind of content particularly if nobody is giving a shit and that's not me patting myself on the back that's not me saying I deserve more of a platform that's not me saying anybody deserves more of a platform I just don't understand why people do it when there seems to be zero response to it when the only people responding to it argue friends and your friend groups you know a lot of the people that post stuff like this you know a lot of them it's it's literally just for their immediate group of followers which which a lot of the time is just their immediate group of friends get out of the house stop doing this to yourself I'm pleading with you I'm pleading with you I'm not talking down to you I'm pleading with you that this isn't good for you you're literally just talking almost to yourself it's not much better than talking to yourself and if you really do feel the need to express these thoughts write the shit down write the shit down okay quietly and put it in your manifesto that's it take notice anybody that's a manifesto none of us know about it not about the manifesto and the only people ever to read it are the authorities that once the author is apprehended for trying to plan a bomb somewhere it's I just I always thought the glue society was like sanity but no it turns out we're all going insane why because Twitter was invented and it doesn't make any sense people stop making selfie videos while you're driving your car and crying because you feel like you have a burden to tell the truth to the people there are no people if you have a true audience that's listening and you feel like you're delivering them that fine but for Christ's sakes if you're getting 10 likes 15 like let yourself off the hook because you know you're you're gonna crash your fucking car and and it's just not healthy for you it's not healthy for the other drivers on the road it's not healthy for anybody and I know that most of these posts I know that most of these posts are in response to things that the rich and powerful are doing which leads me perfectly to our next segment you're wrong okay this is the first time these two segments I remember connected this closely the posts that people are making I was talking about in the previous segment people just getting so furious what would I do what's so funny you're just scratching the mic oh I scratched the mic yeah it's okay by the way how red do I look this week red next a little red yeah it's fucking nuts these God I'm looking at these lights they're fucking orange why do we have orange lights in here we wanted a warm feeling atmosphere here you want to okay warm feeling meaning I looks like I'm gonna fucking keel over it's all it does help that every bag on this table is red and orange by the way too reflecting there they just I gave you a beef stick be nice I want to talk about this delusion that the rich and the powerful people are somehow still relating to us okay again this is what is fueling a lot of people to feel the need to scream and yell about this stuff on their social media there's this delusion that these rich and powerful people that they're on our side or they actually care about us or whatever let's start with politicians look okay the easiest thing to address is voting if you believe in voting that is your business okay I'm not here to tell you not to go ahead and vote go ahead go ahead go vote or pray or wish upon a star or rub a rabbit's foot or do whatever horseshit superstitious thing that's make believe that you think it is that's you think is making a difference what at your business whatever helps you sleep at night that's fine okay but for the love of God please stop thinking that politicians get you they don't get you oh oh Donald Trump he understands the working man oh oh Kamala Kamala was really for the people these people live in another reality they're on another planet they don't get you they don't even kind of understand you it's literally like saying hey you know it's down to earth Tom Cruz just a normal guy what a normal guy that Tom Cruise is yeah yeah yeah you remember see when he strapped himself to the airplane in the last movie yeah he's normal he's not insane at all boy that Rihanna she's just a gal next door hovering above us at the Super Bowl on ropes dripping placenta down upon us but she's actually quite down to earth these people don't get us which brings me to celebrities celebrities people are always complaining about celebrities and how celebrities use their platforms to be political or tell us how to live and again this ties us to what I was talking about in the first segment people everybody thinks they need to use their platforms to to to express some sort of opinion or something of importance why because they see the rich and powerful doing it people the rich and powerful are fucking crazy okay and I know it's also annoying when they do it so we get angry at them so then we do it okay so not only telling you not to worry about doing it if you're not really getting any traction with it but also don't get mad at the rich and powerful when they do it okay it's a waste of time I used to complain about this all the time too I used to always complain about celebrities telling us how to live or how to think or how to vote or whatever I was wrong okay so for this week we'll call this segment we're wrong can we get a graphic I'm including myself I'm not just pointing a finger this week we're wrong people get so mad about Hollywood folks preaching and I know it's annoying of course it's annoying nobody wants to hear like Mark Ruffalo's thoughts on the economy as he's wiping Hulk makeup off his face you just think the rich are complicit man shut the fuck up Mark please would you shut the fuck up you're literally in financial wedlock with Disney hey Mark I got a thing you could talk about why don't you talk about a Disney takes black people off their posters in certain overseas countries because they're afraid it'll hurt the box of office ticket sales. You seem to be quiet about that, Mark. Rough? Mr. Rough? Shut the fuck up, Mark. You're not allowed to criticize the prison as you help keep it running, okay? You're part of the fucking machine. Shut the fuck up. Goofy has his finger in your belt loop right now. You just sucked off lunch, pen, and a quack for a pack of smokes. Look at that. That happened. Look, it's China, correct? Yeah. On the one side is China, and on the other side is the American poster for Force Awakens. You can tell which is which by the lettering. Finn, the character of Finn played by the great John Boyega, not on the China poster. They removed him, or excuse me, they reduced him. Yeah, he's there. You can't even see him. He's blending into the blue lights, just as I am blending into the red. Gone. Fucking gone. They carry Fisher bigger. Bade the white character's bigger. Harrison didn't carry your bigger. Fucking good. They mean the fucking robot bigger. BBA is bigger on the China poster. That fucking John Boyega. Anyway, all right, I'm glad that got a laugh because I thought the launch pad, the quack blow job joke would do better. Don't waste your time getting, or your energy getting upset with these self-righteous celebrities. I've done it. It's a waste. It's a waste. These people are supposed to be aloof and arrogant. They're supposed to be. They're celebrities. They literally get paid to pretend. That's literally their job. I'll put it in perspective. Remember when you were a kid, and you daydream, and you're off on La La Land, and you thought you were the greatest person on earth, and you're a little fun, little daydream, and then your dad would come along and like either smack you or tell you to get your head out of your ass or both, and then you'd have to come back down to earth again. And the depression of returning to reality was crushing, but it let you get a handle on things. Okay, remember that? Remember that? Well, imagine this. What if instead of your dad smacking you or yelling at you or whatever, instead he just gave you millions of dollars every time. Here's another few million. Keep daydreaming. How long do you think it would take before your entire reality unravels, unspooled? It wouldn't take long. All right. And this goes in both directions. Stop hating these people and getting so mad and wish your energy on it when they preach to you, and stop praising them when they agree with you. They don't understand you in either case. They don't. Oh, they're doing. All they're doing is they are saying talk points for their own value, for the increase of their own stake, their own notoriety rising, their own worth. It doesn't have shit to do with you. It's not real. It's not true. It's not sincere. None of it. None of it. The outrage. None of it is sincere. Hollywood and Washington, they're the same fucking industry. They're the same fucking industry. And if you don't believe me, please look at this headline. Please look at this headline. Biden. Biden signs with powerhouse Hollywood talent agency, CAA. Biden Joe Biden, former president Joe Biden, is signed with powerhouse talent agency, CAA. By the way, also the same exact agency that represented times up. If you're not familiar with times up, times up is what they had to rename you to me, too, because when the white chicks saying me to got called out for co-opting something a black woman invented, a black woman invented the term me to, instead of saying sorry, we fucked up and blowing her up and bringing her into the spotlight, they just changed the name of it. How classic, right? Anyway, CAA, the same agency that represented times up that got in trouble, why? Because they got caught spending tons of the money raised by the movement on million dollar, multi-million dollar, I believe it was, retreats in Palm Springs, they just signed Joe Biden. They just signed Joe Biden, or not just, but you know, last year, but close enough, people, this is the same fucking industry. Our politicians are being represented by the same agencies that represent these actors, okay? Hollywood and Washington have economized ethics, they have monetized morality. In other words, if you say some righteous sounding shit, we will reward you. It's impossible, impossible for any of the shit these celebrities are saying to actually be righteous when these fuckers are all working together and by these fuckers, I mean the politicians and the celebrities of all sides of the political, they're all working together, which is why the celebrities are never consistent, which is why none of what they say means anything, which is why Chelsea fucking Annler will criticize Trump and his cabinet while also purchasing a house from RFK. Yes, there you go, there you go. I hate this guy, he's the devil unless he's got something I want and then I'll put some money in his pocket. It's literally like a narcotics detective buying a Lamborghini from an international heroin dealer. It doesn't make any fucking sense. It doesn't make any sense. You can pull it down. So stop wasting your time with it, stop burning yourself out with it, and you know what, I'll even take it a step further. Even if you do get a good response on these posts you're putting up and you're not a reporter, you're just a regular old person that wants to express this stuff, I'm still gonna tell you, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. And I know what you're saying, but Joe, you're doing it. Do as I say, not as I do. None of this makes any fucking sense. Chelsea Annler buying a mansion from RFK when she supposedly hates RFK, doesn't make any sense to me to you. You know why? Because we're sane and human and she lives up her own asshole. So stop getting upset about it. Alright, let us move on, folks. It's what a world. Alright, first article we've got for you today, so on the subject of celebrities. Read it slowly so I can take a bite of this. Okay. Britney Spears spotted screaming, barking, and clutching knife in L.A. restaurant. This headline should say, Britney Spears spotted doing exactly what you think she'd be fucking doing. I was waiting for knife. I was like, when are you gonna say knife? She's been dancing with knives in her house on Instagram. The fabric of society is unraveling before I. Yeah, you know? Look, man, I have a sort of nuance take with Britney, where as usual, I'm fighting with both sides of the argument. I felt terrible for Britney when she shaved her head. I was in L.A. when that happened. If you remember the big incident when Britney went into the to the hair cuttery or whatever the fuck she went into and shaved her head. And then I think moments later wasn't she like on a stretcher or something? Did she like collapse? Yeah. Yeah. So I was in L.A. the week that happened. They were on the radio. My hand to God that I don't really think I believe it. But just as a gesture, they were on L.A. radio because this is back when regular to restaurant radio was still a thing. They were on the hour announcing her location. They were now they were stalking Britney Spears through the radio. And then everybody goes, I can't believe she shaved her head and collapsed. They broke this poor girl. They broke this poor girl, okay? And I love that this is the first headline because this pertains to everything I'm saying. The same fucking industry. The same fucking industry that told you we need to respect women's rights. We need to protect our young. We need to worry about these predators and pedophiles and everything else, right? The same fucking industry are the same people that pimped this girl out when she was 16 years old. Who the fuck put Britney Spears in a video in a mini-plat skirt and a naughty Catholic school girl off it? Who the fuck did that's not it? That's after. That's the nice video. We all remember Oops, I did it again. Who the fuck did that? That wasn't a grassroots campaign. That wasn't a DIY project. That was a Hollywood would made by the machine itself music video to launch an album for a girl that was way too young to be famous they sexualized her out of the fucking gate okay and then there was the other a few years later I forget the name of the group but there was it was two young girls they were they were of age but they were young they were a pop group and they were lesbians tattoo tattoo yes they performed on the MTV Music Awards okay and on stage they brought dozens of girls dressed as little Catholic schoolgirls now whether these girls are a major or not is besides the point you dress up in a Catholic schoolgirl uniform that is evoking something quite specific okay there it is maybe they weren't in Catholic schoolgirl uniforms but my god it's a it's a stage full of scantily clad very young women no they are there they are they are in uniform well those two were I don't know there's so much I mean look this is how much fucking smut there is in Hollywood that you can't even tell which thing is which like it's it occurs over and over again but my point is this I remember watching that on the MTV Music Awards live as it was happening and guess who stood up pumping his fists like this not me in the audience not at home don't you worry what I was doing at home now now now I swear to god guess who's in the audience standing going like this would you would you believe it was P. Diddy would you believe it these people are fucking disgusting they broke Britney Spears they exploited her they essentially prostituted her in a metaphoric sense okay I don't know what happened but I'm not accusing anybody of anything but I'm just saying would any of us be surprised if you find out that they literally prostituted her nobody would be shocked by that it's disgusting they broke this fucking woman so I feel bad for her I feel really really bad for her but I did think the conservative ship was a good idea I was like guys look I know she's broken and I want to protect her rights whatever she's she's about to be danced around with knives I think somebody's got to step in here and kind of you know and and then that was the argument how dare anybody and blah blah blah blah blah and it's like okay well then we'll ignore both things which is what we do so great here in this dumb ass culture we live in we ignore all signs of caution all signs hey maybe we shouldn't have a 16 year old girl in a mini skirt in a Catholic school girl outfit dancing dancing sexually in her first music video maybe that's not a good idea no no no no okay we'll ignore that we'll act like that's not weird well act like oh if you're a guy noticing that then you're a purve okay let's just ignore it let's see what happens okay uh oh they're they're they're announcing her location on the hour wherever she goes and shouldn't we not do that no no no no no let's let's let's let's just call that freedom speech freedom of press okay let's just ignore that too okay well now she's collapsed now she's collapsed with a shaved head and she's in a bad way okay guys there's videos coming out of her dancing in her house she doesn't seem well maybe the conservative ship is is is a conservative conservative ship am I saying it right yeah okay maybe that's a good idea no fuck you she's her own human how dare you hold a woman down with it okay let's just ignore that too let's just keep ignoring things until what until she's in a goddamn restaurant swinging a knife around here we are here we are nobody wants to fucking address anything nobody wants to deal with it everybody wants to act like every single occurrence is somehow protected by our freedoms and it is but this is where we end up poor Brittany poor fucking Brittany because she will suffer the most for all of this one of the witnesses described the scene as chaotic kind of sad though she still look cute okay I love that I love that an international celebrity pop star just swung a knife at my face how would you describe it yes chaotic all right let's move on whoa Jesus oh I didn't know this went back that all right yet I didn't know that went back that far oh yeah all right let's move on please I didn't think I was gonna get this worked up about Britney Spears today you never know what the day is gonna bring I know it's fun isn't it let's see US agents arrest tourists after video shows a rock hurled at endangered Hawaii monk seals head you got to show me that one yeah it's a mouthful so there was a viral video that was going around of this tourist and he's like fucking with a seal that's just kind of like hanging out by the shore and he just tosses like a giant rock at it for seemingly no reason see that's how headlines should be written the way you just did it yeah that's how headlines should be written there was like this monk seal I guess it's called and that tourist through a rocket has had it was kind of crazy yeah yeah he was just you know being a dick and yeah we arrested him for throwing this rock yeah you tell that seal to shut the fuck up Britney Spears didn't hold a fucking knife in its neck the fucks this seal complaining about right now a rock it's pussy shit I mean I don't know it you know these things are always kind of hard is this guy being an asshole and like throwing a rock at a seal yeah okay yeah he's charged with harassing a protected animal well I would press charges on his first name alone Igor you're like you you're doing something underhanded Igor what's your name uh the name of the other guy in Frankenstein uh you're under arrest uh yeah I mean that's a shitty thing to do if that's what he was actually doing yeah it's very out of video if you want to see it yeah let's see the video please police in Hawaii say the man seen in this viral video throwing a rock at an endangered seal has now been arrested near Seattle the rock narrowly missed the seals head the man could now face a year in prison what are you doing why would you throw a rock at it hello well lady because the fucking mental fabric of society is crumbling this guy's a lunatic you can't tell anymore used to be able to tell lunatics by the way they dressed lunatics just look like this now they look like they just wear a lulu lemon and then they're down on the beach trying to kill a seal for no apparent reason by the way was anybody expecting Seattle when she goes endangered species I thought she was gonna say like Lithuania off the coast of where Dave Grohl lives there's an endangered seal yeah that guy's a dickhead all right we can move on all right something a little lighter worlds first robot monk ordained at South Korean temple oh fuck this earth we get what we deserve good and I hope he touches kids well if if the holy people are gonna emulate the real holy people the robot holy people are gonna emulate the real he's gonna he's got some pretty big hands you know what no in all seriousness we should have robot priests because that will assure there will be no more make all the priests robots and I don't know if you've ever been to church it sounds like robots anyway the whole thing is just it all sounds robotic just make all the the priests and I know this is a monk not a priest but who knows maybe the monks are onto something man monks are elevated you know they live in the mountains they eat rice once a week and they they meditate all day maybe they're onto something with the robots that we're not aware of yet I would I would trust a monk's opinion on a robot before I would ever trust anybody else's so god bless I mean it does make sense it seems to live that life he would be a hell of a lot easier for a computer than a human I don't understand how humans do it but but they do wait scroll down I want to read that quote at the current stage it might seem a bit awkward but we hope the five precepts will be considered as basic principles for not only Buddhists but the society exists together with robots holy shit these guys are that's next level shit and wow wow wow this started as something to make fun of that actually kind of blew my mind just there that's really cool that's cool I don't know if it's good but it's cool that's cool that the monks are like hey this is this is the this is the this is the natural progression of things this is what is happening we need to integrate this is part of it this is life because that is the true concept right you know I think a out of the time we think that the true evolution of life really is just what is happening organically, you know, meaning like with organism, you know, human flesh, animal flesh, plants. But if you really look at it through the true wide lens, it's like no, all of it is part of it. All of it is part of it. Artificial or natural. And it just is. And I like that these monks did this. Again, I don't know if it's good, but I think it is a very different perspective than I've heard. You know, that's pretty cool. They're going to be pissed at this thing and soon they're going to be like, well, you know, the monk will be like, "I meditated for 16 hours." And they're like, "Well, fucking, iPhone meditated for 38." Yeah, it was a fucking robot. It seems pretty chill. Yeah, first time one of the monks curses. It's a fucking robot. Just suck my dick. Fuck off. All right, let's, I don't know, maybe we, where are we at here? Let me see, I might be time to move on. But yeah, we got two pick talks if you want to move on. You know what, let's do one more headline. And then I'll move to pick talk if you want or two of them. Do you want one about data centers or Eric Clapton? Oh, Eric Clapton. Eric Clapton, I like he's wild. Yeah, Eric Clapton, 81. And this concert early after fan throws large object at his chest in Madrid. Well, they thought you were a seal. All right, let's move on. It's time for what a world? You mean pick talk? I mean, pick talk. Should I take that again? No, fuck it. It's time for pick talk. Leave it in and leave it in. Do the wrong graphic. Yeah, leave it all in. Do the wrong graphic and then do the right graphic. Leave it this all in. Me saying this. Leave this all in. This is what this show is. All right, put that kid on a leash. I'm already in agreement. Hi, Joe. I work at a beer brewery that is family and dog friendly. You know, dog friendly is starting to piss me off, man. Honestly, get over it. I remember I asked a girl to date once in L.A. And then she goes, "Where do you want to meet?" I go, "Well, there's this great French place where we meet over there." She goes, "Can I bring my dog?" I go, "No." What are we talking about here? I want to hang out talk to you. I can bring your dog. She didn't. All right, so he works at a brewery, dog and family friendly. I love that family and dog friendly are in the same sense. Now, I should preface this by saying I hate children, okay? So, I'm very biased on this subject. That being said, the parents of some of these children seem to think that our bar is a playground for their idiot kids. "Oh, whoever this is, I am with you, 100 percent." For example, I was bringing a tray of glasses from one side of the bar to the other and a toddler ran directly in front of my path where I only saw her at the last possible second in avoided contact. I was wearing a split on one of my fingers that was injured at the time. And when these mouth-breathing parents of hers saw what happened, the dad sarcastically said, "Haha, almost broke another finger there." I would have taken out my dick and pissed on him. And then proceeded to continue letting his child run freely through the patio. This may be blind with rage as it should have. And it took every ounce of self-control I had not to smash this guy over the head with the trip. Glasses I was carrying, but I bit my tongue and moved along with my work. This is just one example, but something like this in my opinion should never happen in a place where alcohol is being consumed and things like this happen constantly at my workplace. If you can't control your child and they cause problems for other people, stay the fuck home. Thank you. Wow, I basically said stay the fuck home in the last episode. So look man, I'm with they didn't put a name, but I am with this person. A thousand percent. A thousand percent and I go further. It doesn't matter if it's a place where alcohol is being consumed or not. It truly doesn't. It's just public in general. I am truly tired and I'm going to get more into this on a future segment that I've been taking notes about this because I travel all the time and I interact with this sort of situation pretty frequently. So I won't get too into what I'll talk about later, but I will say this now. It does bother me that there is this attitude amongst the modern parent that their child can just kind of do whatever they want, whether it's running free or screaming or acting inappropriately in public. And when you encounter the parent not even addressing it, but just in something like this where it has to be addressed because it is such an awkward thing or you give a look that kind of says like, hey, what's going on here? The parent seems to often react now with this of the you know kids. You know kids, no, I know parents, you're a fucking idiot. Learn how to deal with your child. It's absurd. I'm really tired of this idea that your lifestyle, whatever it is, needs to be injected at all costs without any responsibility on your part into the public space, into the public space. You have a kid like that that's acting like that. It is the equivalent of bringing like a boom box or a Bluetooth speaker or whatever that's blaring music into a public space where it's not appropriate. I mean walking down the street or whatever. I mean like like, my Bluetooth speaker is my emotional support thing. I need it so I feel calm. I need to hear music wherever I go. I'm going to go into this church and sit with a Dory Mass. It's not fucking appropriate. It's not appropriate. You have to understand how your lifestyle can have an effect on other people, okay? And that goes for your kids. I'm sorry. It goes for your dogs too. You got a dog that is reactionary and doesn't know how to chill and is barky and whatever. Hey man, walk that on your own street as privately as you are able to. Take it to a place where that dog feels safe. Well, I can't drive 35 minutes just because my dog needs it. Well, then tough shit. Yes, you fucking can. That's your responsibility. It's not everybody else's. And it goes for the kids. It goes for the kids. I'm not saying you got to scream at your kids. I'm not saying you got to hit your kids. But discipline your goddamn kids. Discipline your goddamn kids for this dad to talk to the waiter or waitress or whatever. And make a joke instead of going to the kid and say, hey, apologize. You don't do that. Stop running. Why is the kid fucking running in the first place? Crazy man. Crazy. I would love to know where this person is from. I would love to know what would city that person lives in because there are some cities that are far more relaxed about this than others. But I don't like it. I don't care for it. And I don't want to delve again too deeply into it because this is something I really want to address in a segment in a future episode and dig into. So I don't want to burn it all out right now. But it's just it's just fucking crazy to me, man. It's just crazy to me. You know, uh, I don't know. I don't know. Do you guys have problems with? I don't know. What do I'm actually curious? What do you guys think? Because I've complained about this sort of thing to friends that have children. You know, where I say, why is it? By the way, every parent has this attitude that when their kid is there, it doesn't alter the situation. Like my friends that have kids now, they'll be like, they'll be like, yeah, dude, so I'm going to bring Kevin. You're like, when we go hanging out to drink. Please don't. You know, dude, it'll be fine. It'll be fine. My wife's going to be there. It'll be fine. It's just it's just the same as what's hanging out except Kevin's there. It's literally like being like, hey, dude, when we hang out on Saturday, I'm going to bring a nun who is loud and once attention. It'll be just like when we regularly hang out. No, it's not. We can't curse can't talk about shit in front of his head and he's demanding all it it's not the same thing but that's fine that's just kids but when I'm speaking to more so is this attitude of perspective that parents have that their kid it could couldn't possibly be an imposition on other people you know and it happens a lot with the public space I'm sorry if you've if you've got a screaming kid okay I understand if you have to go somewhere because you have it's it's it's a doctor's appointment a family member is sick something of true true importance I get it I get it I get it but I just I'm sorry I just see it so frequently I don't think that's what most people are doing I think most people are going into public and just saying fuck it I don't care how my kid affects everybody else around me right now and I know I'm not blaming the kids kids are kids but I just I just don't get it does that bother pussy ounces is that bother you guys yes definitely yes especially like a bar that's wild man it's wild it's wild you know you know people yeah I've seen people bring babies into a bar I've seen people this one really piss me off I've seen people at concerts at concerts with the baby sling and they're dancing with their hands over their kids ears because the music could literally damage the kids ears it's too loud what are you fucking doing skip the concert well I just need a night out then get a babysitter well the babysitter is expensive and it okay it's bad for us to leave the kid at this age the kid is three months old he doesn't know who the fuck you are Jesus Christ I just be able to be a parent do everything now turns out there sacrifices to be made when you have a child call me fucking crazy all right we got time for one more of these little something in my drink that's not a good sentence this is bad hey Joe I used to be an alcoholic who thought I always headed under control well what are you trying to say man one night when I was about 22 the bar was closing and last call it already passed a bad habit I developed was scavenging tables for left behind drinks and chug whatever was in them you were definitely an alcoholic I would do this with what I thought was subtlety never subtle I love that I thought I was being subtle all the lights were on and they told everybody to leave I was the only guy left behind drinking left over drinks it probably wasn't it definitely wasn't but no one ever said anything they were frightened little did I know the next drink would be someone's ash tray with cigarette button all okay yeah with no time to react I swelled the whole thing I just kind of stood there and shock and calmly walked away and attempted to puke outside an alley with no success I can only assume I shit it out at some point but I never verified that you didn't you probably didn't shit it I mean I'm holding a cigarette but right now I would believe that this would dissolve in you before it got to your asshole I would think it's just paper tobacco and some what's the filter cotton probably fiberglass something horrible anyway for a little while after this I had a lingering anxiety that this was going to give me cancer or something I don't think eating cigarettes gives you cancer just smoking them I reimagine I remained an alcoholic until my early 30s but I did stop scavenging for left behind boo sincerely doing better now yeah I'm glad you got sober I hate to see somebody quit drinking but with something like this you clearly needed to I have on the screen here no a cigarette but cannot dissolve in the human stomach I mean you shit it out dude it was I mean are you are you fingering through your turds you shit it out yeah I'm gonna guess this is a guy by the way I just have a feeling this is a guy it is yeah what is it you no how do you know it's a guy though are you just agree no his he has his real name like oh I say okay yeah but you know to be anonymous for obvious reasons I mean yeah I'm glad you I'm glad you it sounds like you needed to stop drinking it sounds like it's good also that you stopped scavenging for left behind booze before you gave it up completely yeah I mean if we're making a judgment on who is violent horrendous or a pig it was definitely you and hats off to the bar staff that they didn't stop you that's amazing it was like this was like watching Britney Spears everybody was just going this poor oh this is rough let them just drink the floaters somebody said what about a conservative ship no he's free clearly free to live his own life people in closing sometimes other people need to step in and control you that is my closing statement like the child in the bar sometimes other people need to step in and control you so these behaviors that we are allowed to do because of personal freedoms are not good throwing rocks at the head of a seal swinging a knife around in a restaurant running into bartenders carrying glasses trays of glasses I'm not saying I'm for fascism but sometimes I think it's not that bad of an idea all right folks thank you for joining us for this episode of violent horrendous I appreciate you being here please follow me on YouTube at Joe DeRosa Comedy go to JoeDeRosa.com for any upcoming tour dates to get tickets I'll be at the Joke World Comedy Festival August I think it's 14th and 15th get your tickets for that and upcoming tour dates will be announced soon subscribe to the pod please hit the likes and sound off in the comments and tell me I'm a fucking idiot and all well don't do that I'm being sarcastic but I'm sure that you will anyway but let us know how you're thinking and feeling and all that good stuff and keep sending these insane stories to us and send ideas of what we're gonna name the pussy hounds keep sending those I think by next week we will have enough gathered that we can maybe do a little thing on the show here and figure it out until then we leave you with my favorite segment white women's let it rip oh that they're racist that they're bigots that they're sexist you know that they think they're like invincible that I'm doing exactly what they're doing except I'm a woman and not allowed to yeah I'm rich I'm famous and I'm hot so I'm fucking people like that's what I'm gonna do and I'm gonna continue to keep doing that as long as you know I remain as fuckable as I am there's really tragic when a man has a little stinky day that's just terrible because it's like them this is a whole half their identities of being at it's you know at least with women our vagina is like they don't define us so I'm like oh she's got a huge vagina don't say that about any why. 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