The following podcast is a dear media production, the following podcast is a dear media production. I'm Benito Skinner. I'm Mary Beffarone. And this is Ride Ride. Hello and welcome to the Ride Heritage Collection. The Heritage Collection. This is something new we're trying where we are going to release iconic heritage episodes of the podcast in no particular order and we're going to retitle them so you know exactly which iconic moment to expect. Moments that come to mind the lesbian cop at Ride Live. Massive. We're talking about um sister. I was there. It was rare. And D.I. And of course how many chickens there are in the world. Oh I just got a phone her. Oh my god wait Mary Beffar just cut her finger in his bleeding. I guess we have to go. Enjoy this episode. We hope it's a tasty treat for you. We're going to have fun going through the archives and picking out these episodes for you. Think about what we're doing right now. We do exist in the world. Isn't that trippy to think about? Let's go on the journey. For the ride. Heritage Collection. How do these things stay in the air? A man broke into my backyard. That's how we have to start this episode. And this is the first time in her story. I have not shared something with you until the podcast, but I just decided like this is the one thing. Like if I'm going to really monetize this friendship, this is how you do it. We had a phone call on the way to record and you told me I have a story for you, but I can't tell you until we're on air. And I was like okay that's insane. Even keeping this for me for two days. You've been keeping a secret for me. Then you go I was going to ride for it, but I can't because people would be like oh you shouldn't ride for it. And then you go it has nothing to do with anything you think it's going to have to do with. So I'm like what the hell is it? And someone breaking into your backyard checks all those boxes. I'm sorry. Didn't I set the stage perfectly? You really did. You really did? Haulsey. So oh my god. It's kind of bone chilling. I was glad it happened at the end because it taught me a really good lesson about a side gate. And also just like everything that happened is so there are easier ways to tell me listen to ride. And there's actually one really easy way which is to tell me you do listen to ride. So just just wait. Also Jackson is Australian. Jackson, can you say hi? Hello. Sorry Marshall. You got got bitch. That's crazy. If you're going to walk out on this family. If you're going to leave this family, just wait. We'll go down under for your replacement sweetie. Bigger and better. That's what we said for season two. Say hi again Jackson. I'll say hello in Australian. Oh my god. That's crazy. Jackson's got us by the balls. So Terry is honestly, he treated me like I was his kid and I got like a yesterday. That's yesterday starring Jennifer Garner and Jenna or take we'd like dinner, shops, we did it all. And we were going to see the substance, but then the parking garage was completely full. I missed you LA. It's good to be back. I never heard of that in my whole life. We were literally circling and then finally I was like, well, we've missed the first 10 minutes of the movie and I can only imagine those are kind of important. So I think we should just call it. We saw it the next night totally fabulous at the time of my life. So we get home and our costumes that were wearing for the ride Halloween episode were on the front door. I go to the front door where the ring is. I open them and then Terry, I just hear him go, oh my god, there's a man in the backyard. That sends a chill down my spine. I was so fucking scared. I can't imagine if he had been in the house and anyone who has experienced that, like I know I'd be scared, but if I was this scared at him being outside with all the doors locked, like I actually cannot imagine and I would probably have to just burn the house down that night. Do you know what I mean? Oh, totally. I mean, I'm visualizing it. I have two questions. Was the backyard light on or was it just a shadow of a figure? Cause I don't even know what's scarier, honestly. Do you really want me to say shadow of a figure right now? Because I was in a reflection of the window. It's booked over late. It's so spooky. I almost run for this bucket. Now I get why I didn't. And was the back door locked? It was locked. Back door locked. Okay, all the doors were locked. It was just the side gate. We had left open on accident. Okay, I'll never happen again. And I'm glad we found out this way. We learned a huge lesson, which also like if anyone can like tell me in the DMs, are you supposed to leave your lights on? Are you supposed to turn them off? Do you want people to think your home? Do you? I don't know. I'm leaving lights on all day. I'll just say that much. So immediately I call 911. I can't stress enough. I was put on hold for five minutes. Of course. During the five minutes, I thought raped, killed, you've killed my kids. You've slotted my dog. Body buried. He's actually dug and buried you. I'm out in Pasadena. No, I'm you're sprinkling my ashes in the ocean at that point. Five fucking minutes. I'm like, you've got to be kidding me. And Terry's like, why are you called? And I'm like, yes, like they don't know what's queer supposed to be drama. I'm not getting tired. So where are you at this point? You're at the front door. You're in the car. Like what? He's in the backyard. Can I just say a couple things about him? Hoodie on. He's young. He's in his 20s. Maybe younger. I think he might have been like teenager. Reebok. Black backpack on. White guy. Young in a backpack. I'm thinking, well, that's a school shooter. There's a gun in the back. It's a lone wolf. What am I supposed to fit? One plus one equals two darling. So I'm terrified, ultimately. And so is Terry. We put on the lights, though. And nothing happened. Like he didn't respond. So we were like, oh, he's like, fucked up, which also scared us. I do think we did the right thing. And you do not engage at all. You don't open any doors. You go lock yourself in your room, have your phone, contact the authorities, which is what we did. I just didn't know I would be literally unholed for five minutes. I'm actually pissed they didn't play music. Well, that's what I was literally about to ask what was the whole music. Like I was kind of like, well, at least give me a beat. No, the whole music is like, is this really an emergency? Like they kept asking me over and over again. I'm like, well, like maybe I don't know. It seemed like a skit. And then finally, Terry calls to and he gets through in like a couple minutes. I don't homophobic kind of. I don't know why, but just in that moment, I thought homophobic. Yeah. I found out who Terry was. He's someone who would blame me for things in the scenario. And if he listens to this, I hope he hears that because he did something really cruel. I go up to the window because we have a window in our upstairs that looks down at the table he was sitting at. He just was smoking a cigarette. And this is where I started to kind of ride for him. Yeah. It's a little girl's to be honest, breaking and entering, light up a sig. He was like, I'm going to give you a show. I look down and then we're just trying to keep an eye on him until the, I love to call him the authorities get there. Well, a cab. Also, I want to say, along with people telling us if lights should be on or off, if there's someone better to call when something like that happens, then the police, I would love to know because it's like a cab, of course, and cops are so scary. But what are you supposed to do? Like, I don't want people to listen to this and be like, oh, you're supposed to do this. Just let us know. I found out that we have neighborhood patrol, but you have to pay for it. And we lease our place, that they don't pay for that. So then they wouldn't come to ours. And I'm just like, okay, separate number. There was a part of me that felt bad. I was like, I mean, other people calling definitely have bigger fish to fry. But just on the off chance that I've got a school shooter here, I don't want to die. I could have. I'm like, this is like a bone-chilling story. No, I know, but it only gets fabulous. You're so not ready for where this is headed. I can't stress it off. This is very much Halloween spooky. I shouldn't have done this for the Halloween episode, but it's like, it's, it's spooktober regardless. So I go up to the window because we've lost sight of him. And that was really scary to us for a second. Yeah. And then as I go up to the window, he then turns. He sees me for the first time. Terry looks at me. He goes, he's just imprinted on you. I was like, what? What is that? That's not a thing. He goes, he's going to see your face. Now he's going to be obsessed. I was like, okay, face card. But I was like, what are you talking about? He's like, this is like what stalkers do because Terry works with pop stars. So I think a part of him thought this was a stalker. I was like, they don't, they don't care. That's not why they're here. So I guess he had imprinted on me in that moment. We finally get through the cops and they come. It takes longer than you would ever imagine. I would say is my review. We're upstairs. And you know how there's the window that sees to the street from our upstairs. We were able to see the cops and be like, go through the gate. We hear them because like, I have to hear all this go down because also a cab too. You know what I mean? I'm like, that's kind of my die at this point. Treat him right. Like, he's a part of the family now. Like, don't, don't be crazy. So they come in. We're listening. And my intruder, he goes, hi officers, like so chill. Yeah. That's kind of like, okay. What brings you here? What brings you to my home? And he said he was really fucked up. Very drunk or like maybe high. And he was like, I live here. I'm friends with the people who live here.
this is my house. And I into that I say totally. So right, they take him to the car because they're gonna like take him to the bottom of the hill and then the cop calls us down to speak to her for a second. She keeps staring at me and I'm just a little bit like what is going on? And then I think did I do something like she gonna arrest me? I don't know why I was just like I feel like some things going on. Terry goes, did he say anything about names? We're just making sure it wasn't like some crazy thing where I don't know he's like come to kill us because like Benny made a white house video or something. The cop in that moment looks at me and goes, I was at ride live. I I just got chills and she said my wife and let a lesbian cop was at ride live. My jaw dropped and I thought well, for this moment, I'm taking down my a cab vibe just for 10 seconds because you just acknowledge the work in a way I couldn't have even imagined in my wildest dreams. Terry and I could not stop laughing. I was so in shock and then she was like, if someone breaks into your house, the first time if you want them arrested, you're the one who's arresting them. So you have to go to court, which obviously I was like, he just was drunk and wandered into a house like, oh, we don't care. I want him to have the death penalty. That's all I said. I said, definitely. If it's a second time, the cops will then arrest him and it's like the courts, which I just thought was really interesting. I don't know. It just seems strange. They drove him away, but Terry and I could not stop laughing and then we got a padlock that night. I think we got a little too comfortable and it is what it is, but I'm so happy we're safe. Thank you cops for coming. I'm glad it took upwards of 55 minutes just to like resolve the whole situation. Terry and I couldn't even get through the first 30 minutes of Janet planet without him falling asleep. And I can't help but think that that had everything to do with how long the cops took. Obviously we're all a cab. That's how we align politically, but of course, it's good to know there's a baroni on the force and that they answered the call. It's the traders. We have people working on the inside and we don't even know that. But change from within, like this is how we flip the Senate. And you've always had that. I've been very vocal about flipping a Senate. I'm thinking, wow, you heard us say Tycan on Tycan live to a crowd at the Elvray. The lined background behind you is kind of starting to like warp almost like the fact that yeah, the fact that you're at the UN right now. Well, I'm in the UN building. I'm giving a talk after this. You're either on Howard Stern or at the UN. I can't decide. You're in Geneva. I'm at the Geneva Convention and we're here to resolve some stuff. I can't wait. So a few thoughts coming off of that story. One, lock your doors. It's like a huge part of keeping your home safe. I agree. Neighborhood watch. And obviously you guys had a nonviolent intruder. So it's a good way to learn that lesson. Two, thank you so much to him for not stealing our Halloween costumes. He clearly had no motive except to take a seat in a chair. I only can respect that. And can I just say he had the bones for a really good. Let me tell you, he was, he was serving face when he and Jackson bleep it. Wait, Jackson, can you say Tyka and you're in your accent? Tyka. Whoa, it shit. Wait, you like the accent? Oh, God. Well, don't be crass. Of course. We ride for you. Of course. We ride. It's Jackson era. Wow. I'm just happy or safe. I think all the bronies and I are just really, really that you made it out on skates. Well, I do think that if I ever get shot, I'll live. I'll just say that. And I think that if I did what a crazy couple episodes that would be, if I had a bullet wound, yeah, I can't even imagine. It would make me so happy though because if people were like, hey, do you have any tattoos? I'm like, no, but I do have a bullet scar. You want to know how I got these scars? And I change the story every time. Oh, okay. That's actually kind of a good bit. Well, can I just say that I have a pretty good segue today because the story I just told was a little bit neo-noir in a way, in a way. And it was very mysterious. And also it was about cops. I was thinking the entire time this ties so well into this week's episode. Well, it's 3 a.m. at the Geneva conference. So let's get to it. So let's get to it. I'm riding for Zootopia, a neo-noir classic. And this week, I'll be riding for burgers. What's that? That smells like fucking heritage, dude. I think it might be heritage. Let's be honest, if a routine takes longer than five minutes, it's not happening. Seriously, I do not have room in my bag for all this stuff. That's why Marit Beauty believes great makeup should be effortless. Their clean, thoughtfully curated essentials help you get a fresh, polished look in minutes with products you can swipe on blend with your fingers and move on with your day. Isn't that what we all want to do? Yes, warnings don't have to take forever. That's why the minimalist for Marit lets you get a polished natural look in just five minutes. It's not a foundation or a concealer, but it overplays both in your makeup bag. It makes getting a polished natural look effortless, so you can spend your time on something else. Marit is a minimalist beauty brand that makes elevated makeup and skincare design to help you look put together in minutes. Marit's best sellers are proof that less really is more. The flush bomb gives you that natural healthy glow without overdoing it. One was sold every 30 seconds in 2024. That's so good it is. Can we get those numbers on 2025, please? Then there's a minimalist, which works double duty as both a foundation and concealer so you can get quick coverage without layering on a bunch of products. I mean, my God, protect your skin. No makeup day, no problem. If I had that on the pot a few times, Marit's great skin serum, not sealant, is all you need and instantly hydrates and pumps for a fresh doy look. And guess what? Marit's products are clean vegan cruelty free and made with nourishing skin care ingredients. And I get, I'm going to guess they're made with love too. Right now, Marit Beauty is offering our listeners their signature makeup bag with your first order at maritbeauty.com. That's m-e-r-i-tbeauty.com to get your free signature makeup bag with your first order maritbeauty.com. Guess what? It's 2026 and if you're still paying rent without built, it's time for a change. Built is the loyalty program for renters that rewards you for your biggest monthly expense. Rent. I don't like paying rent and I bet you don't either, but built makes, I mean, property is theft for going to stake, but built makes it feel a little better. Built is the loyalty program for renters that rewards you monthly, with points and exclusive benefits in your neighborhood. Let me explain. With built, every rent payment earns you points that can be used towards flights, hotels, liffriesamazon.com, purchases, and more. I mean, we are all familiar with points. They're like dollars but different. And here's something I'm really excited about. Now built members can earn points on mortgage payments for the first time. That means you can get rewarded wherever you live, Benny, and unlock exclusive benefits from more than 45,000 restaurants, fitness studios, pharmacies, and other neighborhood partners. Personally, I would redeem my points for a second home, a second home that I keep empty. It's simple. Paying rent is better with built, and now owning a home can be better with built too. Earn rewards and get something back wherever you live. Join the loyalty program for renters and now for owners at joinbelt.com/ride. That's j-o-i-n-b-i-l-t.com/ride. Make sure to use our URLs so that they know we sent you. Do love your built, and thank you for everything you do for renters. I mean, we aren't represented enough in the media. There's only one on this podcast. Joinbelt.com/ride. Love you. Well, Pinkie just growled because she knows I'm about to do the K18 ad. If you think I don't have K18 and my damn medicine cabinet, you'd be wrong. And yeah, it's like medicine for your hair. It's a molecular repair mask with a K18 peptide that is patented. It is the greatest discovery in hair history. And Lord knows I've been using it. I've had to color this mop on my head for a while, ever since I did a little show called overcompensating. And my hair was blonde. It's no longer blonde. We love K18 and we think you should too. Find K18 at your local Sephora and feel the difference for yourself. Or try at 10% off your first order at k18hair.com. That's code
[email protected]. So everyone can have soft, strong, bouncy hair. With K18 molecular repair masks, we are not exaggerating what we say. It's going to be soft, strong, bouncy hair. Patented K18 peptide is the greatest discovery in hair history. It reverses damage in four minutes, deep within hair's innermost layers. Before K18, real lasting biomimetic repair didn't exist, so they went ahead and invented it. Yeah, they're inventors. Now I don't have to worry my pretty little head about bleached color heat or breakage from all those slick back buns. For breakthrough results, the K18 mask gets molecular and my hair is never felt as healthy. And trust us, you will flip for hair like new too. Wait, where are we going? Who cares? Ride. Zootopia. It's hard to even begin where to start with this Disney classic. It's a modern Disney classic. I believe it came out in like 2016-ish, which is crazy because like so much time has passed since then when you think about it. Zootopia. It's the story of a little bunny rabbit. There's this whole city. There's a metropolis. And it's called Zootopia. And it's got burrows and everything is so you look at it and you go, that's so creative. Like I just thought that the whole time I would just smile and look at you. And I've seen it now probably four or five times. My nephews are obsessed. My nieces are obsessed. It's one of those things like I could kind of get a kid to watch it with me if I needed to. Like if my nieces and nephews want me to watch one of those like Einstein shows.
I'm like, well, what about Zootopia? And they're like, yes, totally. Yes, we're all in. Before I get into NeoNoir and before this becomes a cinephiles podcast. Well, I was going to say Zootopia is kind of an animated movie for cinephiles. Absolutely. I assume it has the same rating as Shawshank Redemption on IMDB. Isn't Shawshank like a perfect 10? To me, I can't imagine one single flaw with this film. It's actually like a fabulous mystery. And a study on like stereotypes, like what it means to be good cop, bad cop, the classicism, racism, corruption, and government, the police. Literally, big pharma. It's crazy. Oh my God. Oh my God. And judging a book by its fricking cover. A wolf in sheep's clothing, Ken. Don't even start with me right now. I cannot stress enough how attracted I am to Jason Bateman's Fox and this. Yeah. And that's also something I have to live with. It was about an hour in and we looked at each other and we thought, you're going to get to suddenly get it. Well, I always said that I would have sex with Bojack Horseman. So it's just good to know that other people are attracted to like anthra or what's the word when you like assign qualities of human to an animal that but a cartoon. Yes. Totally. Like me and Balto as a kid. That bastard, he saves kids from getting them. Would she have pneumonia? He needed to get penicillin. Holy shit. He was so handsome and I loved his girlfriend too. Yeah. What a stud. Thank you to David here at the Geneva Convention. David's here. He's manning the computer. He's doing some research for me. He's researching peace talks right now. But he also then looked up anthropomorphic. A high in Tim is every flag. It's beautiful. Every nation. Every nation, baby. So, okay, so it's the story of a bunny who becomes a cop. She works her ass off in the beginning of it is very, can I just say silence of the lambs Jody Foster. She's training to be the top cop and she is the top cop, which also like neo-noir by the way. It's just like it has elements of noir, but it's modern. So really anything could be like gone girl is neo-noir in a way. There's like a femme fatale. It's like a woman. There's also Mr. Otterton. There are easier ways to tell me to listen to her. So essentially what happens is this bunny becomes a cop. She meets this sly fox and she has all these stereotypes about foxes and it's like you're kind of a racist bitch. Like she's kind of like fuck well predators in general. Yeah. She. She has. She's your type of predators in general predators in general. She does and it's fucked, but she has like anti-fox spray when she goes into the big city. It's crazy that we package this thing and gave it to kids because I do think they learned so many lessons they need to at a young age, but it's really like heady. You're not going to get it the first time to see you. Well, also generational bigotry because like the stereotypes about foxes were reinforced by the bunny's parents and the very opening scene where she's being bullied actually reminded me of the opening scene of miscongeniality where she also then comes a cop. Also neo-noir. Also many ways neo-noir. That's pressure punishment for parole violators. Stand. Wait. Kind of a cab still fuckers a cab still of course a cab still of course this bunny finds herself in raptured, I would say, a huge case that's going on where all of these animals are missing. And I'm not going to give anything away, but just like let's just say the top is corrupt. The top top is even corruptor you can't imagine the things going on in Zootopia. And these are just a few things that I wrote down that reminded me of neo-noir. I did write down in my notes foxes can be sexual. We said that out loud to each other. Oh my god, when they go to the rainforest burrow, holy shit, how neo-noir the full rain pouring, it opens up. It's a jaguar opening the door and it's cracks and he's in the shadow and it's just his eyes. So neo-noir. Oh, it's also it's very seven but also girl with the dragon tattoo I would say because the ending is such a twist like I said, it is a movie for cinephiles. It's a movie for cinephiles, femme fatale, the sheep, but her seduction is sweetness. And boy, did they, boy, did they mistake her kindness or weakness? I'm not going too much away, but I know I wrote that down late night with a spray tan on. It references the godfather brilliantly, right? It's for adults. It's that thing where adults are in the theater and they go, god, they know that was for us. I love it. It's really adult. But I just think this film is like, it's just batshit. This is a children's film, but it's for everyone and I can't stress that enough. It kind of feels gone girl in the way that I'm like, is it anti-cop or pro-cop? I think it's like anti-government structure. It is speaking to corruption happening from the top, top, top. Like it's telling kids like, don't trust all this. And I guess all the cops are kind of like dicks at the beginning, but then Judy joins in, she's more like about honesty and it's very interesting. When I saw it the first time, I was totally blown away by how much of a commentary it was on like racism and stereotypes in like the class system. I was like, whoa, this is so deep. And I was like, okay, we're going to rewatch it to talk about it on the podcast. How does the movie present police essentially? Like now having all this new information about police encryption in our own country. And I really do feel like it shows someone who entered the police force with like giving them the benefit of the doubt that they were going to like only act like altruistically and like always do the right thing. And then she realizes when she joins the force that that's actually not what they're about. And she is to operate outside the police to solve the mystery. Exactly. I feel like it is sort of an anti-cop narrative or anti the structures that they had in police because they weren't protecting the people and they definitely weren't like solving the crime. So to me, my takeaway was like the police as it's as it stood when she started was that and wrong. Yeah. And she flipped it on its head and then she brought a fox into it and now they're going to solve things together. And we're getting Zootopia to so soon. They announced it at D23 and I know this because of all of our Disney girls. You know what you said when we were watching it because she starts as a meter maid. She starts giving people parking tickets and you go, how good this movie is she we're watching her give like 200 parking tickets and we're still going to root for her. And we're rooting for her. Like that's so hard. That's good cinema. And that's right. It's good writing. It's good writing. That's femme fatale. That's a hero that's complicated that we have to figure out. We have to root for Hannibal Lecter. Like that's tricky. But neo-noir can do that. Oh, whoa. That's so true. Yeah, we're rooting for him. It's insane. That movie's so good. Holy shit. So good. So the lambs. I don't even get me started. Add it to our speaker list. I said you a text with some movie titles. I said spooktober at making a list. Can I give a one title? I think we should add the substance. We're not going to talk about it because that will be season four, but I can't stress enough how much fun I had at the cinema. Terri and I looked at each other and we went, we're having fun. Well, you know, it's like a night too when the parking lot was a fall. Not often lately movies are either too long or just like not hitting for me. I don't know what's going on. Not in the ways Utopia hits. It's so insane that Disney did this. It's kind of like how Elemental was a rom-com for kids. And then after it becomes like after it's full in the owner, it'll have this genius hilarious scene with the slot DMV. And can I just say one name to you, Shakira, the gazelle, named Jacelle, who has a pop song going on throughout the whole thing. Try everything she says, try everything, try everything. The cop who runs like the front desk. I guess that's like a thing. Okay. They like wrote such a gay. I think he's like a cheetah or no, what is he? He's like a snow leopard. Yeah. He's so cute. He's so gay. He's very. He's very layer. He's not helpful. He's like bad at his job. I know. It's like queer representation. Glad love to that. They love that word. They want a lot of word. They want you fucking nailed it. Thank you. A useless gay manning the front desk. We've all been there. It's just so satisfying to me when they set up a mystery and they answer all the questions. Like, I know that people that mapped it out put a lot of thought and detail into it. And then I like, when things have multiple twists, like that's hard to do. In a kids movie, I'm like, in 90 minutes, they gave me multiple twists that I never saw coming. Nighthawlers, can I just say something to you? Nighthawlers? Come on, dude. I think it shows also like growth. There's so much growth in this and giving people the benefit of the doubt and just like letting people change and be like, I made a mistake. It's really beautiful. A lot of good lessons that I'm excited, my niece and nephews learn from Zootopia. I think there's also just a lot of beautiful messages in it and I'm happy this movie exists. I think if you watch it and you take away a pro-cop message, I don't know. You probably don't listen to rides, so it's fine. Exactly. Or maybe you go to ride live. I don't even know. I don't even know what to think anymore. I'm so dizzy. Yeah. That's definitely, it threw me for a loop to hear. Hey, does it help? She's a lesbian? It does. I completely agree. I completely agree. I know what's about to be number 10 on Apple movies tonight. Zootopia. And I know what everyone's going to be eating tonight. Cheeseburger. I'm just so excited to talk about burgers. It's crazy to me that you're doing burgers and I'm not. Like that's so cool. We've done a few things like that. Like me saying, changing the subject is so you coded. Yeah. Let's get into cheeseburgers sister guys, we're all sorry.
to be healthier, right? And it's just so hard because there's so many products. It's so many things that are being bombarded with every day. And it's like, shouldn't this just be simple? Shouldn't gut support be simple? Ritual isn't playing around when it comes to gut support. They design symbiotic plus with a delayed release capsule to help reach the colon, an ideal place for biotics to grow and thrive. When I take probiotics, I just want my probiotic to take gut health seriously, which ritual does. And I want it to just be easy, which ritual is. Ritual products contain high quality, clean ingredients, and all of ritual's products are vegan GMO-free and tested for heavy metals and common allergies. That's something that's really important to me. I love that. Symbiotic plus is a complete biotic formula, a 3-in-1 with clinically studied pre-pro and postbiotics and clinically studied doses to support a balanced gut microbiome. Ritual symbiotic plus is formulated with 118 CFUs. Yeah, I said CFUs of the world's most researched probiotic strains, backed by 100 plus publications of human clinical trials. One daily mint-sended capsule for bloat gut and regularity support is all you need. Vegan friendly and formulated without GMO's major allergens, animal products, shady fillers, and artificial colors. So get your gut going and support a balanced gut microbiome with Ritual Symbiotic plus. Save 25% on your first month at Ritual.com/ride. That's Ritual.com/ride for your first month. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all-in-one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or scaling your business, Squarespace gives you everything you need to claim your domain, showcase your offerings with the professional website, grow your brand, and get paid all-in-one place. Squarespace gives you everything you need to offer services and get paid all-in-one place. From consultations to events and experiences, showcase your offerings with a customizable website designed to attract clients and grow your business. Get paid on time with professional on-brand and voices and online payments. Plus streamline your workflow with built-in appointment scheduling and email marketing tools. Get discovered fast with integrated Squarespace SEO tools. Every website is optimized to be indexed with metadata descriptions, an auto-generated site map, and more. So you show up more often on search engines and bring in more of your ideal customers. Every dream needs a domain. Squarespace domains make it easy to find the best name for your business at one fair, all-inclusive price, no hidden fees, or add-ons required. Every Squarespace domain comes with an advanced privacy and security tools to ensure your domain remains online and protected. Plus, Squarespace provides everything you need to bring more of your dream to life. Whether that means building a website or adding a professional email service, don't wait to claim your name. Invest in your dream today. You guys know we're literally addicted to Squarespace. I mean, you can go on my website right now maribethbarone.com, see all my remaining tour dates, not many left. In fact, we might be on the last week when this comes out. And I just love the dang thing. I just love the website. It's beautiful, intelligent design, or whatever. We love it. Thank you Squarespace. Head to squarespace.com/ride for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use offer code ride to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Article makes it effortless to create a stylish, long-lasting home at an unbeatable price. Article offers a curated range of mid-century modern coastal and scanned and inspired pieces that not only shine in their own, but also pair seamlessly with nearly any other article product. This thoughtful design approach makes it incredibly easy to make some match, helping you create a space that feels cohesive and stylish. Article takes great care in curating its collection, focusing solely on high quality, meaningful pieces that will stand the test of time. There's no filler. Every item is chosen for its craftsmanship, design, and lasting value. Article offers fast and affordable shipping across the US and Canada, with options for professional assembly if you prefer a hands-off experience. With Article's 30-day satisfaction guarantee, you can shop with confidence, knowing that if you're not completely in love with your new furniture, you can easily return it. This piece of mind ensures you can invest in your home without hesitation. Have a question or need help with your design choices. Article's customer care team is available seven days a week, offering knowledgeable support and even free interior design services to help you get your home just right. And yes, as I'm coming to life from the cook chair, you best believe that this chair is getting a lot of use, not from its intended purpose, but just simply as a chair. And I can't wait until I have an apartment being enough to have dual cook chairs for the couples that sit in the cook chair together, stay together. That's something I just thought of. If you're in the market for a beautiful new sofa, dining table or bed, head over to article.com. I genuinely don't know where to start with my love for burgers. And I do want to say that for the vegetarians and vegans listening to this, I'm not condoning the beef industry. I'm not condoning farming the FDA anything like that. I don't know what goes on. There's been a couple documentaries I haven't watched because I just want to enjoy burgers. Do you get that? I just want to be able to enjoy. There's so few things in this world I enjoy. I'm gluten free. I'm dairy free. Food is very limited for me. I just love burgers and I don't want to give it up. I really don't. So please don't send me documentaries that are going to make me not want to eat burgers. Can I just say you don't have to? Okay. Thank you. Can I say something even crazier? Supassize me. Supassize me. And may he rest in peace. In this ride, I'm riding for burgers. That includes impossible burgers. That includes like ones that are made out of, I don't know, grass or something. It doesn't include those actually though. I'm riding for all types of burgers. If I can construct my perfect burger, this is what it's going to be. The Merry Smash. It's going to be beef. And sometimes it's going to be a smash. It's going to have lettuce, tomato, onion, mayo. And it's going to be on a gluten free bun. And I'm going to have ketchup to dip it in. I'm going to have mayo to dip it in. And I'm going to have Russian dressing to dip it in. Ayoli, sweetie. If there's an Ayoli available, which many times it's not. You said your dream. Come on. I don't want you to ever skim on your dream meal. Skies the limit. Okay, it's an Ayoli. And I'm obviously enjoying that with the side of fries. I used to get my burgers medium rare. I feel like medium rare has changed. And now medium rare is rare. I'm getting my burgers medium. Well, people just will not eat. They punish you. They're just like, this is going to bleed. This is going to move, bitch. They're mad at me. And I'm like, I just, I'm sorry. Idaho did me like this, but you got to cook it a little bit more. A little bit more. I'm sorry. I just, I want a little bit of pink. I don't want too much. I don't want to chew for days. My love. I'm a baby. Even a little longer. Can I just say cheeseburgers are, I think probably my favorite food. It's like salmon and cheeseburgers are constantly at war with each other and chicken strips. These three things just, it's, it is a big, it's crazy. I just love burgers. I've been eating a lot of burgers since we wrapped. It was very bowl based for a while. But I tried this place called Aussie's burgers in Toronto that was totally fabulous. We got it one night with chicken strips, if you recall. I can't even begin to tell you how crazy that was. That meal. That was so nuts. That meal was so hard. That meal went so freaking hard. I left your apartment and I, I had a vanilla milkshake in my hand for after. It's like when I'm doing some fucking filthy shit like that, like that is when I know I'm so happy. Terri and I having in and out the other day, like I don't think in and out is the best burger by any means. But my god, it's fun. And it's just a good time. They make me so happy. Can I say something to you? Please. Cheeseburger. I'm a cheeseburger guy. It's got to have cheddar. And for me, I'm not, I think onions overpower the taste to raw onions, overpower the taste of things. So I like cheeseburger. And that patty can be smashed because I love, I think Shake Shack has like one of the best burgers in the world. If you really do any time, I'm at JFK. I'm like, oh, I think I'm about to have a gut bomb on this flight because Daddy's getting out with some crinkle fries. Oh, yeah. Oh, and you can't believe the shit I'm taking after. What the hell, dude? So maybe cut that, but I don't know who cares. Season share. Someone tried to kill me. And then I like lettuce, tomato, maybe some pickles, but they better not be crazy. Not too sour. Completely agreed. I'll do a pickle on the side too. Catch up and maybe special sauce, smash that together. And I like, I like a brioche bun. Yeah. Oh, you have such a refined palate. I just, but I can have them all. I love all cheeseburgers. I love McDonald's ones. I love a whopper. I used to get whoppers literally every day after football practice. And can I just say something, junior whopper? Oh, totally. I mean, you're a growing boy. I don't, hey, sometimes it's fun to just have a little one. Sometimes fun to have a little snack. So one thing I want to say about onion is that I usually take all the onion off except for one piece. So there's like hint of onions to left on the burger, but it's not overpowering. Very to me or I'll say that during Christmas, but you doing that is very to me. I was watching Queer Eye and Anthony gave this tip. If you're using raw onion and something, soak it in water for a few minutes and it loses that bite, that sharpness. So if I'm, if I'm eating a burger at home at my parents house, because I've never grilled and I never will, but I like to go to my parents house. They're grilling my brothers on the grill master. I'm going to have that onion in a little bit of water first, so I can just eat it to my heart's content. I'm picturing you in like shake shack and taking your onion to the toilet. Like, no, I take an onion and I put it out of the sink and water to shoot. You pull it out of your Louis Vuitton chair. I go like this. Yeah. And you flick the pong wand.
I just love burgers. They're so inherently American to me, even though they're not American. But it's like 4th of July. Of course. Baby here. Firewood. Firewood. That's what I think to my burger right before I eat it. Oh, burgers are so delish. I think there's something so cool too about just being like, can I get bacon on it too? Oh, but don't even start. Surf and turf. They put a fried egg on it and it's like, you know what I mean? It's like fucking. Oh, you fucker. It's the fucker Jones special. The fucker Jones. We'll have one burger option every first Tuesday at crematory. Don't act like this isn't a part of our $100 air one smoothie, but there's a burger on top. There's a cheeseburger. God, now I'm just thinking about burgers and how beautiful they are. And sometimes if I put mustard on it, it's like, I must be feeling fucking like crass. I just think lately, I feel like burger joints, which how cool is that to say? Whoa. They have just been getting better and better. There's this one by me in L.A. do you remember what it's called? No, but I guess by the movie theater, it's like quarter penny penny. What's it called? Jackson. Do you know darling? I don't know. Gregor. Well, you're looking that up. I do want to say I'm an equal opportunity burger consumer. So whether it's fast food, diner burger, gourmet burger, artisanal, grass-fed homemade, I just want a burger. Can I describe a burger night? I had. That was amazing. Yes. It's burger nights. It's not the point. What it's not? Those pork lights. It's those burger nights. This episode of Ride is brought to you by meat farming. Literally. Oh my God. I get home. It's my birthday and I just shot Kirby enthusiasm at a mall in the valley. I get home. My wife has gotten me high-ho burgers, which are so delicious. They're from the same guy. I think we did sugar fish. So you know it's good. I just went there today. Good for you. You went to sugar fish without me? Well, it was with Emily. Don't get mad. Who introduced you, bitch? Who introduced you to each other, bitch? I give it one of the season. So she has high-ho burgers waiting for me. Fry's a strawberry shake because she knows me real good. And then we watched American jiggle-o. A perfect meal. I have chills. It's like those burger nights. Did you find it just in burger nights while you're here? I've got a big list that sounds nothing like what you said. You know what? We'll go there when I'm there and we'll post from it. I will say smash burgers are really sweeping the nation right now. It's like they reinvented the form. I know, which I thought was just the name of that place, smash burger, which was really good. I used to go there all the time in Idaho. And it's in some airports now. I don't really see it often, but God, it's so fucking good. Like I love a diner burger, but Apple Pan has been in LA forever. And oh my God, it's fabulous. Oh, it's just delicious. And then you can get pie thereafter. It's like a burger and pie. Come on. It's an American classic. I can see it now. I love burgers. I just think they're so beautiful. They're very elegant to me. I know they're like a finger food because you eat them with your hands, but to me, a burger's elegant. And you know what I'm doing with my burger when it's in a bun? I'm turning it upside down and I'm cutting it in half with a serrated knife. It's so much easier to dip because you have a hard angle that way. And it's just like I can hold the half and I'd relish in that for a little bit. And then there's a whole other half waiting for me. I love cheeseburger so much. I had a pair of vans in high school that were cheeseburger vans. Like I have the layers and you couldn't imagine what I could do with shoes in a Catholic school. I said, you want to know who I am? Look down. They let you wear that in it with your uniform? Yeah. I could wear whatever shoe I wanted. So that's where I decided to teach them what pop punk could be. Bam. I was a rebel. I wanted to make trouble and I wanted to make art. You wanted to make art. I wanted to make art on my plane ride home because there was nothing else. I tried so many other things. From Toronto. Nothing was hitting. Wally probably saw me watch Corolla on the flight. And the guy next to me was interested. Let's just say that. And I think it's my fourth time watching. Have you seen it? Very visually stimulating. I actually also watched it on a plane. That's great. But I've only seen it once. I love it. I got to catch up with you. Let's get into ride or die. You know what you are, Benny? Hmm. I f*** it. Your words not mine. Babe. You're my rider, die. Ride or die. Obviously, I ride for cheeseburgers. I have loved them my whole life. They're so fun. They do it with flair. They do it with chair. And I will be having cheeseburgers for the rest of my life. If it had ended the other day, I would have had one less cheeseburger in my life and that would have sucked. So I'm glad that my intruder didn't kill me so that I can keep having cheeseburgers with the likes of you guys. I can't wait to share some burgers when we're in the same city very soon. Oh, I can't wait for New York burger. I'm having a New York burger next week. I can't wait. Also, yeah. A burger is really something that people of all ages could enjoy. Mm-hmm. Ligs Utopia. Just like God. And you know I ride for Zootopia. I was so glad that we have been sort of breadcrumming it this whole season. And now we're finally talking about it. I think there's a lot of really profound lessons and messages for kids and adults. And I really feel like now more than ever, we need to be like bridging that gap. And if cartoons are the way to do it, I'm like so here for it. I agree. Someone told me that I believe Tokyo Disney or maybe it's in Shanghai, they built Zootopia. You can imagine what I thought when I saw that. I don't even know what to say right now. I know. It's kind of like when you told me you had an intruder. And like how many times can you render me speechless in one episode? I don't know what to say. The intruder thing. I'm still not over. That would be traumatic for me. Mm-hmm. I don't know why I'm not scared at all. I watched Inside Out 2 like the next day, a really, really stressful watch, but I understand how that could also be good for kids. That's right. So I think about your mind actually. But I, as someone who is so anxious, oh my God, I was sweating. I was so nervous. I was like, Riley, you better start telling the truth here girl. You're really something. I don't know if I'm ready to watch it. Everything moves. No, she's at this hockey camp. And I'm like, you're making a lot of bad choices. And I'm starting to get pissed. I was stressed, but our dad plays her dad. So it's like she's kind of hard to support the work. She's related to us in a lot of ways. Yeah. Riley. Every time I heard Kyle's voice, though, I was like, that's, I mean, that's dad. Dad, what are you doing here? But it's a beautiful film, but holy fucking shit. Did it stress me out? It kind of reminded me of in Toy Story 3 where Woody loses his hat. And if you have some of the illnesses that I believe we have, that will ruin your experience in a theater for at least 20 minutes. And then oh my God, it was like, Argo, when the plane wouldn't take off. It's just. Speaking of Argo, I have to get back to the Geneva convention. We have a lot of stuff to sort out. But I'll see you. I'll see you here soon. We'll be here together on that. Today you're discussing cops and meat. All the flags are waving. Well, I have a motorcade. Can I say something to take us out of this? Yeah. Try everything. Try everything. It's that I don't know what other-- I can't hit those notes. Try everything. Remember when Shakira was like Barbie is like for Pussy's? Okay, we'll go out with that. No, keep that. Oh, my exit. Any day, by the road. There you go. Right, right. Right. Right. Right, right. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.
PodcastTranscript AI