Here Comes The Drama | Reading Reddit Stories

Support comes from wise, the smart way to manage the currencies you need around the world. Your life is global. Your money should be too. Some providers promise no fees on overseas transfers. Don't be fooled. Extra costs often hide and blow to exchange rates. Choose wise. You can send, spend, and receive money in over 40 currencies. Count on the exchange rate that you'd usually see on Google. That's how millions save billions on hidden fees. Be smart. Get wise. Visit wise.com. T's and C's apply. Hello, welcome to Smoshreads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane. And today's theme is wedding. And I'm joined by two people who are about to get married right now. Courtney and Rasha. It's us. Yes. Actually, guys, I have to tell you something. This is so crazy. I'm actually not getting married. Wait. What? I know. I know. I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. What if you're going by a Rasha and only a Rasha so that one day you could be a Rasha? Miller. That was my plan. That was the plan. Actually, no, I don't know if I told you guys too because Rory the other day was here and saw the save the date on the fridge and came over and was like, oh my god, I didn't know you were getting married. You got one last person last casual. But I was like, oh, that saved the date so hideous. And that's that's wow. Are you offended that they thought that was real? Yeah, that's top. Yeah, they were like, I wasn't going to say anything, but green. Oh my god. Well, today we have a ton of wedding stories. We've done wedding stories before and they're always the best. They're the most drama-filled. Emily and Bailey have found a new subreddit that they've been scouring called Wedding Shaming. They've had some stories from there in the past, but they've really delved into it. And boy, do people make some choices at weddings? Oh, yeah. So I've heard. I wonder if there would be like ring talk in it too. Ring talk. You know, ring talk. I'm assuming there's some of that. I'm assuming someone's going to wear a white tool wedding. Oh, of course. I never understand that choice that people make. They know it's such a blatant rule. Yeah. But people go for it. I assume with those rules, maybe there are just outliers though, right? Like genuinely people that haven't caught up with. Some people don't know. Some people just think they're above rules sometimes. At certain rules, but I'm special though. Yeah, that's true. But it's a really cute white dress. But it's so cute. It's so cute. Shane, can I say the joke? Can I say the joke? Say the joke? Welcome to Weeding Wedded Wedding Stowies. Let's just cut that and put it into the beginning. Into the beginning. They'll fix it in the edit. Yeah. I'll make it work. Yeah. Shall we hop into our first wedding story? Okay. Let's just all get married at the end of this. Yeah, that'll be great. I've never been. I've never been. Okay. And then you know, we can leave Shane out. Our first story comes from Wedding Shaming. This was posted a few months ago. I wasn't recording this. I recently went to a wedding reception where the seating arrangements were alphabetical by first name. Ooh, fun. All the ants and bobs at one table, all the Joes and Katie's at another, regardless of whether or not any of them knew each other. If you came as a plus one and didn't know anybody besides your date, too bad. No exceptions. Strictly alphabetical. Except for my one friend, Caitlyn, who was seated at the K table for some reason. No, we still don't know why. Sounds like a typo. Okay. There was one table that was pretty much just women named Sue, Susan, Suzanne, who didn't know each other. There was one table where a guy I know, his current girlfriend and his ex all got seated together. Oh. Basically, everybody ended up standing around the edges of the room all night. Edit because I've answered this 10,000 times already. Caitlyn's name was spelled correctly on the seating chart and on her place card. That's why it's funny that she was seated at the K table. No, it wasn't a hastily corrected spelling error. The seating chart was hand inked calligraphy without any awkward crossouts. They wrote Caitlyn on purpose in the middle of a bunch of K names. That's why it was worth commenting on. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk. And at number two, can we please all chill out a little? Nobody died. Nobody cried. Some people swaps seats around and it made for a good story. At the end of the day, it was a nice wedding. Also, we all know the one thing that really matters at a reception is that the food was damn good. Well, yes. Wow. I'm going to be honest after all of this because the wild choice, after all of this, I have a couple thoughts just about OP. I love this. I love this. I love their wedding. It was just a wedding they went to. That supposedly that was not a shaming, but it has me wondering if this was their wedding. They're like, "Ah, is this crazy?" Yeah, yeah, yeah. They did this. And then it's like, "Edit to, stop." Guys, they're being chill out. But even regardless of that, I love when people post things, this goes for anywhere on social media. When they post things and then they're surprised by the internet being the internet. Right. Yeah. You see it a lot on TikTok where they're like, "Kai's my boyfriend's so crazy. He doesn't wash the dishes." And then the next one's like, "Kai, stop being mean to my boyfriend. Don't make this actually great." He loves me very much. He's teasing him. You put this out? The internet was the internet. 100%. That is so interesting. It very much could be. Because it feels like a bold choice that's almost like a joke. It was meant to make everyone mingle. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. It was supposed to be like a cute, quirky. Everyone get to know each other. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe Caitlin was at the wrong table because it's like, "Kai, Jillian." Like, "Kai, Jillian." "Kai, Jillian." Like, because it's a "K" inner name. Yes. Yes. That's really good. See, and that tells me that these people are funny. They have a good idea of like, "Oh, wait, that's smart." Yeah. Wait, I-- Wait, Emily. This is really quirky and cool. But it is. I think that's really funny. That is something that from our view, not attending this wedding, not having to sit by your ex or anybody like that, it is funny from afar. Yeah. It has been thinking of a lot of fun ways to have seating arrangements that are also extremely messed up. But like, to organize the entire seating chart by height difference. So, tallest to shortest, and you just-- Please don't tell-- Please don't tell anybody. And they'll show up and they're all there. They're like, "I think everybody at that table's really tall, and we're all really short." I know what table I would want to be at. Yeah. Organizes it by like, hottest to least hottest. And nobody knows that every time they're like, "Wait a second!" It was like, funniest. Yeah. You don't tell people what it's ranked on. It's just like, at some point in the day, the groom is just like, "Just so you know, we see that you all in a specific order. You must figure out what the criteria is." Oh, my god. Let me have an ensue. Honestly, really fun. Really awful. Really awful. No, no. So awesome. Because at the table, then it makes everybody be like, "Okay, so what do we all have in common?" What are we? What are we? What are we? So wait, what are we? Yeah. It's like, we were all placed here for a reason why. Could be a really fun, horrible game to play. Yeah. Yeah. I like it. Yeah. Courtney, you and I would not be sitting close together at all. No. No, that's fun. Who would have you win? I would be with Chance. Oh, yeah. I would be Damien. Oh, I would be by Spencer. Lucky. I'd be in my, I'd be in my, I'd be in my, you'd be the triple S. I'd be by Amanda and Angela. My triple A. Oh, triple A would be there. A screenshot. A screenshot. Chance. Courtney. Damien. Bailey. Let's take this, let's make this the video. Tommy would be close to Spencer. Let's just build the smash table aside then. Yes. Someone out there designed this. Someone will make it. I remember planning an event similar to this where I thought a version of seating with some mingling involved would be fun. But it seemed like at the end of the day, people preferred just to be with the people they knew. Because you know, people are anxious and like to be with their friends. Well, the wedding also stuck there kind of. Yeah. Yeah. Weddings are designed also, I mean, not designed, but like they're a great opportunity for a family to get together. So you kind of remove that element. It's like a reunion. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's also particularly cruel to separate the plus ones. Oh, that's so messed up. Like you came with somebody to this wedding and then you're like have fun with the steak, you know. Yeah. Because weddings, like, people plus ones to a wedding. It's kind of like a romantic thing. People like see it as a cable. You go to this wedding with me and you're like, oh, so we're in a romcom now. Yes. So that, and then you show up and then you can't sit with them. And then, but that's also that the funny scene in the romcom where you like, I guess I'm stuck with these weird people. I see the day across the place being funny with the other people and you're like, he's really great as me. I mean, eventually. Yeah. Yeah. I think he's going to be the one. Too bad his name starts with the Z. Zander. Zander. Oh, that's an X. This one came in with a K. Xylophone. We have comments here. Someone said this person loves an icebreaker at a professional meeting. Icebreakers mentioned. Someone said, I'll do you one better. I once was at a wedding where at one point all the guests had to form two circles, one inside the other. So you would face another guest. Every couple Then had to hold each other's hand and everyone saying a little song about how happy they were that the other person was here today Oh, and then the inner circle rotated so you had to do the exact same thing with a new person Okay, and again and again and again No, no see that's not fun I was like hello. I love how I immediately know that that was a dry wedding like I'm like that was a dry way That you're not doing that shit when they were all so Hammer and that was not a plan and they all collectively did it so happy guys the T-dose is telling us to do this Someone said why on why on earth would anyone do this laziness and lack of emotional intelligence is my guess O.P. said not laziness and not ill intentions. Yeah, this was oh, this was O.P.'s wedding I think this was O.P.'s wedding. Yeah, not laziness and not ill intentions I think the groom genuinely thought it was a fun way to get all the different people he and the bride Who's really hot has a huge dick by the way, I think I think it was I think it was a great Just completely out of left field to these comments. I think the groom is packing Just you know, I got that sense to like great, but the alphabetical thing. Yeah, so the alphabetical thing was weird though It's like oh yeah, no that was fucking only someone who's packing heat can do that Okay Someone else said if my wife and I went to a wedding with this BS then we would just ignore the seating chart and sit together O.P. said we did smiling face. Okay, so it didn't it didn't matter huh Ha we did smiley face. We did smiley face. This was O.P's wedding. Yeah O.P. we know you abandoned the seating chart because you were up at the altar You wanted to put a post on on wedding shaming to see that everybody thought your idea was actually amazing They weren't gonna shame it and it didn't work not slipping past us. That's right. Fuck you next story Just kidding. I hope is a lovely ceremony If I did go to a wedding I think I'm the type that if I went to a wedding and they it was seated that way, which is so absurd and chaotic I don't think I'd be mad about it. I'd be like this is crazy Yeah, yeah, like I would get mad if it was like if it was designed in a way like very intentionally that also split people up This was just a pure chaos move. I do I'd like a break in the simulation moment. Yeah, when you break the simulation You're like what is even his seating? Yeah, you know your outies come out your outies are out these are in and these are They're like wake up here. They're like all right Your seat chart you will find your name on a table. There will also be another name on the table. That is your target Find them They're searching for you. Yeah, there's the group The group as a good big gun. All right Okay, we must move on. Okay It's fine. Our next story comes from wedding shaming My cousin faked her own wedding to get money and gifts That's just wrong. That's just wrong That's so so bad Gosh, I can't even take it. That's just so wrong. Pranking about being married is horrible Like what did she like make save the dates and stuff? That's awful. Did she do it on April Fool's Day? What a best That's the worst of it. What a huge piece of shit. Yeah Yes, you read the title correctly this happened almost 20 years ago and is still talked about amongst my family My cousin declared to all of us that she met this great man six months or so later they were expected to be married Now my cousin had lucked out because my mom and aunts agreed to prepare all of the food the wedding venue Was at my uncle's house not her dad He has a huge amount of land so the ceremony was set up outside with chairs And there were tents put up for the reception and the food. My mom's side of the family is big We have people all over the country and some even overseas So we had over a hundred people who agreed to travel far and yonder Rent cars and get hotels in order to attend this wedding Oh see I didn't do that. The morning of my cousin the bride was acting so sketchy She was so reluctant to get ready. She kept taking off her gown and putting on casual clothing We were all so confused. We thought she had cold feet Meanwhile my mom and aunts were sweltering in the kitchen preparing all of this food for all these people Someone noticed she kept making trips to her car and would come back to the house But we were all so busy setting everything up that we didn't focus on it too hard What made matters worse the groom was nowhere to be found People kept telling her to call him She did and apparently it kept going straight to voicemail Guess they're arriving preparations are being made and the groom isn't here for his wedding We are questioning her and asking her what the hell is going on And she says he had a meeting yesterday in New York But he was supposed to come back last night but didn't Making it seem like he stood her up Instantly we deflated because we could tell that she was lying She went outside for a moment my aunt took her phone and looked at her call history She never called him once We all started screaming wondering what the hell is she trying to pull here My aunt calls him and he picks up she asks him where he is He says I'm in New York for business she's questioning him How are you on business the day of your wedding? I'm sure none of you are surprised by the fact that he had no idea there was a wedding Let alone a wedding he was supposed to be getting married in He was in shock and couldn't believe my cousin did all of this But he said he never proposed to her and planned to be away this weekend And she knew that We all go outside to confront her and she's gone in the wind Gone in the wind Gone in the wind She's gone in the wind Those trips to the car she was taking We found out later from her son she was taking gifts and money off the table As they arrived and stowing them in her car My uncle said when she came outside she tried to grab more But he stopped her from grabbing them so soon because it looked tacky Not having any idea that was the whole point for this entire charade He made a joke later that night Well guess this was just another family reunion Moments after that people were just going back and forth about all the money they spent My mom spent over $700 on groceries for the wedding $300 rents in a car and money for a hotel My dress was I don't even remember how much from David's bridal I was her flower girl who never got to do her job Whenever I share this story with people they find it insane I absolutely agree But looking back on it it kind of makes me chuckle at how ridiculous it is She still very much is the black sheep of the family Unfortunately this is not the worst thing she's done at our expense What whoa this isn't the worst How did she show back up that's how do you show back up after that That's what I first some reason thought it was going to be like a heist And her and the boyfriend did it together but no he was none the wise No he had a meeting in New York and she was gone in the wind It's actually it's so sad to think about all the stuff that she did wrong Like incredibly inappropriate for her to just involve her family overall What a terrible heist, rob a bank Like rob at least rob someone you're not going to see again Right it's like wow you don't care about your family at all At all at all I get infuriated when people like people do bad things I get really mad when they do them really stupidly Because I'm like not only are you doing a bad thing You're also insulting everyone's intelligence You're doing badly stupidly You're doing it badly and stupidly Yeah But I'm like you're trying to get free gifts and money So you staged a wedding with your entire family there That's why To rob your family And just leave I'm like you okay But she kind of pulled it off I hope those gifts and money were worth losing your entire She didn't lose her entire family They're back They were fine She showed up the things giving and she was like Hey Yeah And they were like hey that wasn't okay And when she's like I'm sorry This is the last time she's ever going to see them Like this truly like I would never like how could you do that With ever any inkling that you might see them again Yeah I it seems like they don't care that's just attached to her pool And it's not even her worth of things And this family seems very forgiving they're like Eh Yeah I spend $700 Well that's not even the worst thing she's doing I know I'm sure they were like willing to go this far Like I'm sure I'm sure they have any trust for her Do you have a name? No I don't think we're going to get Katelyn Oh there Classic Katelyn Classic Katelyn OP did comment other offences Yeah Worse offences To name some She's taking scholarship money for college from her son And used it for her own benefit Oh A son He never ended up going to college She stole Social Security checks from my aunt with dementia Who is in her care and has gotten involved With grimy people just to make money Why are you talking? Well there you go No, why are you talking to her? She's a scammer She's a famously known scammer And a family Wow Holy crap How did they fall for the wedding? Wow She has also she has a kid? I'm just like old school Yeah Like I'm having a hard time with her Like hey I'm good for the money Come on She's in a bottle of a couple thousand She may make you look like a person I'm saying You got to up your game I did nothing wrong You got zero money out of my mind She's an honest woman Who did it for the love of the game? No, honestly I'm having a hard time not being impressed This is She pulled off a lot - A awful person. - A terrible. - Kind of cool. (laughing) - Like, but awful, like terrible. - No, robbing your children, robbing your aunt with dementia. - Yeah, objectively terrible. - The worst kind of thief. - Horrific. And the fact that her family is still keeping her around, it's really sad. It's so interesting. - I know. I'm like, wait. - Yeah. - Come on. - Maybe at that point. - Sorry, the sun, the sun's in college now. So she's like. - Well, the sun can't. - Well, he can't go to college 'cause she took the scholarship money. - Okay, but she said he never ended up going to college. - He never went to college. - This person is not just like, a girl in her early twenties getting a little cash, getting it back. This is a grown, grown woman doing this stuff. - And she's just continued to do this. That sucks. Someone commented, is the groom still with her? Or did he leave her after that stunt? Oh, he said, luckily he ended things very quickly after that. So at least he had the symptoms. - She was probably taking money from him too. - Yes. - Someone said, so a whole wedding was planned without anyone really knowing the groom, meeting his parents or anything like that. Someone said, do to living in different cities. My mom and sisters-in-law didn't meet until the wedding day. It is rare, but it happens. Oh, he said, like I said, we have family from all over and don't live close. A lot of us have never even met the man, let alone knew what he looked like. My cousin's dating history is pretty terrible in itself, so we weren't surprised that she agreed to get married shortly after meeting him. But you're entitled to believe what you want. Last time someone said, love granddad well, at least we had a family reunion. - Yeah, that's true, that's another side. - That's true. - And became an impromptu family reunion with food. - Yeah. - They got to collectively, like, - Well, guess it was just another family reunion. - We love a common enemy. - Yes, she's doing him a favor. - Jesus. - She actually might be a saint actually. - Yeah, honestly, not the asshole. (laughing) - Honestly, best person we've ever heard. - Yeah. I'm just picturing her like with like a silk scarf around her hair, and it's flowing in the wind, and she's driving away on the convertible, and there's like a blender in the passenger seat. - Yeah, like that's what I'd be like a bad thief. - Gone in the wind. - You didn't even get good shit out of this, really, like. - She got a blender? - You could've gotten like more. - You could be a better thief. - Right, I'd be like. - Like, she's like Robinhood, except she just steals from her family and gives it to herself. - Yeah. (laughing) - I'm now trying to think of like life events that you can fake and get more money out of. - Oh. - For not for me. - 16. - Do you think anyone's ever fake their own death and gotten their own life insurance money? - Oh, 100%. - People go all the time. But they drive the car off the cliff, leave the license, the driver's license in the car. - But then how do they pick it up the life insurance money? 'Cause they're dead. - Pretend they call me their mom. - You get a really big tragedy call. - She's his mom. And I really need that money. - Yeah. - My son is gone in the wind. - Can I go out just then? - And he's not. And he's packing. - I mean, he's packing. - You should be willing to make sure you know that. - Just need you to know that. All right. That's gonna be hard to top. That was a crazy one. - Eight-lin. - Our next story. This comes from, "Am I the asshole?" - Yes. - "Am I the asshole for having a no-ring, no-bring wedding?" - Huh? No-wing, no-wing. - No-wing, no-wing. - Oh, I know this. I know this. I know this. I think it's, if you're not married to your plus one, they can't be there. - Oh! I've never heard of that. - No-ring, no-bring. I think. - That's what it sounds like. Hotline, hotline, hotline, hotline, "bring." (all laughing) - I loved it. - I love the weird place today, guys. - This is a great discussion to have, so I can't wait to hear this story. - No-ring, no-bring wedding. - What? - They okay. - Welcome to "Weating What a Story." - No-wing, no-bring. - No-wing, no-wing. (all laughing) - No-wing, no-wing. Gone into wind. (all laughing) - Using a throwaway account for this, I'm a 32-year-old woman getting married to my fiance, a 35-year-old man next summer. We've been together since this January, which might seem sudden, but have been living together since Easter, and both know that this is the relationship we want to be in forever. This was posted in November, so they've been living together since Easter. So half a year maybe. I am the last of my core friend group to get married and have, playfully, of course, been teased about being the last one standing since the second to last friend got married last year. That, along with being the youngest sibling and youngest cousin, means that there is no one important in my life who isn't already married or engaged when discussing wedding plans originally and in line with our budget and venue size. We realize quite quickly that we wouldn't be able to have many if any, plus once. To me, a plus one is a friend of a friend or unmarried/not engaged partner. From everything I knew about my fiance's friends that I'd met, they were all married, and there is one couple engaged to be married next spring. He had often mentioned a friend, a 33-year-old man, who lived at the other end of the country and his partner, 29-year-old woman. I clarified they were not married or engaged, and so only included the friend on the invite. What my fiance failed to tell me in advance was that this couple had been together for 10 years and will never get married due to some kind of trauma that the girlfriend has from her parents' marriage growing up. Given the no plus one rule, unfortunately, I couldn't make an exception for this once I was made aware. I was contacted by the wife of my fiance's best man to ask why this friend and girlfriend were the only couple to not be invited together, and despite explaining the above, she thinks I could have been more flexible. My fiance is concerned that his friend won't attend the wedding. We are close to the RSVP deadline and we haven't yet had his response, but my own friends don't see an issue with the no-ring, no-bring as a rule, given how expensive weddings can be, especially with guests I don't really know. I personally just don't want to make things awkward at my fiance's friend's wedding in the spring as we have been told this couple will be attending. Okay. - That's. - It's like I made this rule, and I can't. I'm sorry, I can't break this rule, it's like. - Yeah. - It's your wedding. Do whatever the hell you want. - Totally, totally. This is a clear indication of the concept of like keeping something just because it's a rule or a ritual or a tradition. When it's like, there's exceptions, there's outliers, like there are reasons to break this made up rule that you made up. - Yeah, like the fact that these people have been together for over 10 years, like, and because they haven't assumed a traditional role of their relationship, they like, I'd be like, dude, there's an imaginary ring. Like, like, they've been together 10 times longer than you guys have, if they're not. - Yeah. - So, like, that's very silly to even though the RSUH deadline has not happened, like I thought, like, oh, it's too late and like, literally the wedding's today. But it's like, no, there's time, and you're just choosing to, that just feels very black and white and not fair. - Yeah, it's like, it's like you're putting so much value on this concept of marriage, and the ring is so big when it's like, I think when people are trying to use that rule usually, it's to signify a strength in relationship and a commitment. And I get the idea of, like, oh, we want people at the wedding who, like, will probably stick around in our lives. Like, eventually they'll get married. Or, like, we'll see them down the line. It may be their wedding, like, that kind of thing. - Right. - But to strictly just be like, if you don't have a ring, then you don't come into the wedding. Like, that feels strange. - Yes, it's bullshit. She's trying to remove any responsibility by acting like, oh, this rule was placed upon me. - Yeah. - You made it a fun rule because you thought it would be in line with everything you were already gonna do. Turns out that's not the case. You're gonna exclude one couple. Just let them come and call all your friends who aren't married and say, like, hey, here's the number that can attend. So, like, I had to, in order to get everybody. - Yeah. - I can't have plus ones for all of you. - I think that they're just super into the marketing idea of no ring, no ring. When it's like, clearly, she wasn't saying no plus ones unless you have a ring, it sounds like she was checking if people were engaged or not, married or not. I was like, okay, they're not. Okay, I'm only gonna put his name on the invite then. So, it's not even like, oh, it would bring a plus one. It's like, she's inviting people by name. - Yeah. - It's not like a casual, you can't have a plus one. Like, it's just, it's just gymnastics at that point. - Yeah, like, fixated on the expression for some reason. - Yeah. - Like, they like that idea of it. - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, really silly. The verdict is asshole. - But the cows. - Mm-hmm. - I also, last day I'll say is like, she's talking a lot about her experience and why this rule is like funny for her. We're not hearing much about the groom and it sounds like she's excluding the groom's friends. It's sounding selfish to me. - It seems impersonal. - Yeah. - Comments, as someone who had been single for so long, you would think she would be more empathetic to unmarried people. She should know better. You're the asshole. Someone said, you're the asshole, I'm sorry. I thought you and your husband were getting married. Why is everything about you? Oh, unfortunately, I couldn't make an exception. Fuck out of here. It's your husband's wedding too. And if he's upset or concerned that his friend can't or won't attend, then why are you the only one that gets to a say in the matter? Sounds like you and your friend group put far too much value on a ring. Someone said, easy fix. Invite her separately. I totally get that you don't want people bringing dates just to make up the numbers, but 10 years is a long-term relationship. Longer than a lot of marriages. If it's important to your future hubby to have his friend there, then make this one exception. Marriage is about compromise. Who all else is pressuring you for plus once? This sounds like a non-issue. Invite their long-term partner and be done with it. No one else knows the exact nature of everyone who is invited's relationship. You are impacting your future husband's friendships. You're the asshole. - Yeah, I think that's one thing I say to you. two is like, I think whenever we read stories around weddings and choices made within the wedding, you can't treat it as an isolated choice. Like, it is a statement toward that relationship. Like, that choice is a message in a lot of ways. Like, a lot of choices about weddings are a message. And it's sad that the groom's close friend is maybe not gonna go because they care about their partner. Like, they might have been with their partner longer than they knew this friend. Like, definitely. - That's just selfish. - I agree. I think it definitely feels like an individual choice. And it's, what I was gonna say earlier that feels peculiar is the way that she described her relationship to marriage in the beginning of the post. Talking about how no one pretty much important in her life is unmarried, which I found kind of strange. She did declare like, "Hey, I got teased about being the last one." So, yeah. - As that top comment points out, it's like, "Hey, like, you know what it feels like. Why are you doing this?" - Yeah, it's almost like she wants to turn it around and give some shame to other people now that she's crossing the finish line. - It kind of reminds me, something that I struggle with a little bit, and I feel like in LA, this is common of people who are so dedicated to an aesthetic that they're willing to ruin an event. You know, it's like, "No, this is the theme. "Like, this is the thing." And it's like, "Hey, man, like, due to what you want "the optics of it to be, you're making it a bad time." - Like, that's what she's putting this weird rule on this that is gonna ruin it. - It's definitely something deeper, I think, knowing the idea that the relationship that she has to marriage, this expression, no ring, no ring. I think it is some sort of, like, underlying feeling that she has about it, which, again, makes sense, but it's important to dissect and make an exception. - Right. - Yeah. - Update, update, update, update. - No update. - Save the date? - Save the date? Gone with the wind update? Gone in the wind? - Gone in the wind. - Gone, I see I said it properly that time. - Oh. - All right. - Well, good luck to them. - Yeah. - Whatever happiness to you, too. - Yeah. - Can you tell this was written by Angela? This comes from wedding shaming. Best man's speech was incredibly insulting to the couple. - Uh-oh, uh-oh, best man. - We love, we love a horrible best man. - Oh my God, yeah, yeah, yeah. - For those of you that don't know me. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Yo, Bobby. - Yeah. - This guy's crazy. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - All right, here we go. I was a guest at a wedding. New, both the groom and the bride before they started dating and they are both very lovely/kind people. The groom's family had an attitude of, it's about time, having seen the groom date people, party in the city, et cetera. He was not old by any means, early/mid-30s. The best man was the groom's brother and his speech still lives rent-free in my head. He got up and started off with some jabs about typical family/brother/ethletic banter and then turned to the couple. He goes on to explain that their relationship is similar to how the groom shops at IKEA. You go through the store, so many options. What about that one? What about this one? Can't make up his mind, so you keep moving and eventually you get to the warehouse area where you pick up the parts and then right before the check-out line, you look to your left and see the return/incomplete bin and grab something out of there right before checking out. He chuckles at this point and the entire audience is silent, except for someone who audibly says, "What the fuck?" (laughing) - That would be Spencer. - And then someone came to grab the mic away from him as he was raising a glass to the couple. His own brother roasted him and her, comparing her to the last possible option, broken or damaged. At one point, a family member of the bride had to be restrained from a fight. I think it was her cousin/friend, not sure. The buffet line was super awkward right after that and everyone was talking about it for the rest of the night. Luckily the couple brushed it off and didn't let it dominate the night. I would have been out for blood, but they kept it classy. A distant relative said, "I've been going to weddings my entire life, ain't nothing as bad as that crap." - Woof. - Okay. I like, I couldn't even grasp what the best man was saying. - Yeah, he was saying you go through Ikea, like you see everything, you're like, you're shopping, you're like, you're shopping. - And then right before you check out Ikea, there's the broken bullshit stuff. - Right, right. - That's really cheap and you just grab it right before you check out. - I know what's so crazy is like, I'm like, oh, so, what are you, so he's checking out with some, so I have notes. I have notes. - It's a bad idea. - It's also one bad idea. - He's found something great and you're checking out. But also, he found something lost and damaged in this other section. - Yeah. - It doesn't even work on funny, bad writing. - Yeah, like if you're gonna insult someone, at least have it be like a good analogy, right? - Yes, I get juice here. - Yeah, this was dumb and also mean. - And your brother? That is heartbreaking. - Was he drunk? - Was he drunk, Shane? - It sounds a little planned though. It was too good to be like, he might have been drunk, but I think he kind of thought about this before he was drunk. - You think he thought he was gonna like eat? - I think he thought like, this is awesome. (laughing) - Was he gonna like eat? - It's, well, well, I mean, look, not reading that hard into it. It is objectifying too. Like he is the way he's talking about like, I'm like, I think I know what this guy thinks about women, just based on how he's talking about women being things that you go through Ikea and just grab whatever. - Even just the idea of shopping. - Yeah. - Like, what? - Hello. - So he can pick whatever he wanted and he chose that broken bullshit. - And I thought the speech was gonna go like, and then he looked left and he saw a gorgeous juicy, shiny hot dog at the food court. (laughing) - And then he ran that and he actually, yeah. - And you all enjoy that more. - Yeah. - And then, and that joke is gone in the wind. - It would have been, that would have been better. - I didn't get to see to get a writer's room. - Yeah. - You in the group. - Let's workshop that. - I don't wanna work with this groom. - The man, the best man? - You can punch him up. - I can punch him. - Punch him up. - It is. - Out of all the wedding speeches I've heard on Reddit stories, that's definitely in the top three. - That's awful. - And it's not even well-constructed. - No, it's poorly written. - I, the couple is, I'm very impressed. - I just read a couple. - Yeah, I feel like they're like being classy. - Wow. - I don't know if, I don't know. - I also gotta give Matt props to the person who in the back just, what the fuck? - Yes. - Yeah. - Did I just hear that really? - Great. - Someone needs to do that. - I think the couple probably would be like, well, everyone got to react for us. And like, maybe they weren't surprised by this brother. - Yeah. - You know what? - You're pulling their corner. - Totally. And it does, like, he did his own chase. - It was the best man. - Best man and brother. - He was right. - And brother had to have at least had some respect for him. - Well, I think some-- - Or felt pressured. - Sometimes, like, it depends on where it comes from. The decisions for a wedding. It's like, well, I have to make my brother my best man because he's my brother. - True. A lot of people do it out of obligation, just because you're sibling. - Yeah. - Those reasons. - Comments, everyone wants to be the funny man. In reality, most people should simply be a little sentimental and a lot concise. Wedding speeches aren't your opportunity to be a stand-up comedian. Say something nice about the groom. Say something nice about the bride. Say something nice about them as a couple. Toast and put the microphone down. Nothing more is needed. 4,000 upvotes. Someone said, I remember one story here, as an on Reddit, where the maid of honor, a childhood friend of the bride, decided to regale the guests by sharing how, when she'd sleep over at the bride's house as kids. They'd go out into the yard late at night and poop. In the morning, father of the bride would find it and blame the dog. So, she concluded with a sparkly smile. Now, you know, it was us all along. By this point, the bride's face could not have been deeper in her palms. That's an awesome story. That's a great story. I would rather the best man take a shit on the floor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And say that, you can pick up the shit and toss it at me in my white dress. But don't do that. But don't call me a piece of furniture. Someone said, my husband has horrible social anxiety and was the best man at his best friend's wedding. He was dreading the toast and went last. After everyone had given their long heartfelt, sometimes funny, sometimes awkward toasts. People were ready for cake and dancing. He stood up and just said, I'm so happy for you too. I love you guys. It was perfect. Aww. Someone said, best man sucks but kudos to the person who said what the fuck and to the mic confiscator. I've read so many stories of situations in which people were too stunned to call out the asshole behavior. Yeah. Someone said, to be generous, I get that he was maybe trying to say, hey, my brother found something he wasn't expecting at the last minute. But not the right comparison. A friend went to a wedding once when the best man said, you know, I'm happy for them. She seems fine. That was apparently not what the best man had meant to say. But he got stage fright and totally blanked on his speech. Brighton Grude still gave him a hard time. Lastly, someone said, what if the bride had just left? Being compared with damaged things picked up as the last option is not what you want to hear on your day. No. He took us on a journey. He took us on a really bad journey. Don't even want to go through IKEA on a good day. Yeah, IKEA. I like IKEA for the first half. And then it feels like a movie that goes on too long, where I'm like, all right. Yes. Oh, we're bringing up rooms that I forgot about. I'm like, yeah. This makes me think too. How much of a wedding is just what we do because it's what other people do? Do we meet? the maid of honor and the best men's speeches. Do we need like certain things, you know? - To be whatever you want. - When we did like our big family celebration, we chose to each do a speech, and then we were like, okay, and then we'll just do no speeches. Just so it's fair to everyone. And sometimes I look back and I wish like, what if I just let them might get passed around? Like what would people have said? Just like, 'cause it could be funny. Like what do people, I don't know, but also you might hear something, I never wish you had heard. But yeah, we chose of like, we will thank everyone for being there, and like we don't want anybody to feel left out. - What I think about though is like, how many times I hear about like, when people have these opportunities for speeches and stuff that's like, don't try to be funny. Like it's just, it's like, yeah, if there's something that's a really sentimental funny joke, sure, but I'm like, the amount of times that people go for the funny thing and it's insulting, 'cause it's selfish. It's like, oh, are you trying to get a laugh? Or are you trying to make that person feel special? Like when you're giving a speech, especially at a wedding, at the point is to give the spotlight, which is kind of opposite in so many other situations where you're giving speeches, 'cause it's maybe it's like, oh, you want an award or like, you're, you know, like maybe a graduation thing, but this is a very unique one where you're not trying to have the spotlight. - And the easiest comedy is just shitting on another person. - Right. - It's the lowest common denominator. - And it's a wedding jokes or marriage jokes. I feel like they are originally so deprooted in just like domestic issues and just like, the old ball and chain me old, whatever. - Yeah, literally, old. - With those speeches too, I find it so funny. I've gone to a handful of weddings where people, and you know, with the right amount of taste, you can do it, but a lot of people also choose to go up there and make jokes about them being single. You know? - It's just like, once again, it's like, you're taking the spotlight away. You're talking about yourself, like, it's not, like, yes, if I'm a guest at a wedding where I don't know anybody, I'm entertained by it all. - Yeah, right. - But truthfully, it's like, if you're there and this is someone you care about and they're getting married, like, this is kind of almost more of an opportunity to talk directly to them and be like, this is a core memory. Like, what do I want you to remember forever? - Totally true, such a thing. - Instead of thinking about like, I'm in front of all these people. It's like, no, you're kind of on the spot for your friend right now. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Just you and them, but you and them. - That's sweet. - Our next one comes from Wedding Shaming. Another Wedding Shaming story. They want my daughter to be a flower girl at their wedding, but I'm not invited. - Okay, well, that's your relationship. So let's hear the relationship, break it down. - Have I been eating crazy cakes? Am I off base? I really need to know. Have I been eating crazy cakes? - Am I gone in the wind right now? - Am I going in the wind right now? (laughing) - Am I eating crazy cakes? - Am I eating crazy cakes? - It's crazy cakes. - I want to be eating crazy cakes. That sounds awesome. - Amen. - Damn you, damn. - Okay. - Damn my cake. - What? She wants that crazy cake. - I'm going to Susie, I'm going to put in some of Susie cakes. I'm like, do you guys have any crazy cakes? They're like, come with them back. - Yeah. - They're like, dude, you're the one that reads reddest to me. (laughing) - You read reddest to me, I'm like. - Just the cakes, man. - Just the cakes. - Just show me the cakes. (laughing) - Becky is someone I have known for many years. We are in the same social circle, more like friends of friends, but we are not super close. It's really more like an acquaintance I run into from time to time. I do see them and hang out with them at gatherings, probably three to four times per year, but I've never been to their house nor them to mine. I'm a single parent to an 11 year old girl, and I received a call from Becky, who has never called me in her life before this. Asking if my daughter would do the honor of being a flower girl because there are no other young kids in her family. Side note, my daughter would eat that up. She'd love to be a flower girl. I asked for the wedding date and where it was, and she told me that it was at a winery in the middle of nowhere, almost two hours driving from where we live. But she also said that it's an extremely intimate wedding for family and a few very close friends. And unfortunately, there wouldn't be room for me at either the ceremony or reception. I'm sure you can understand. - Okay. - I told her I'd have to look into it and call her back because honestly, I was too stunned to reply. Listen, I have zero problems not being invited to anyone's wedding. You do you and your day, no problem. But let me get this straight. Becky wants me to spend the time and money on getting a flower girl dressed in shoes, drive my kid two hours away to a winery in the middle of nowhere, and drop her off unsupervised with a bunch of adults. And I should do what? Wait in the car, wait down the road, wait in the bathroom, wait in the kitchen with the caterers, LOL, there isn't even a cafe within a 30-minute drive. Am I off-base thinking this is just totally bonkers? - Uh, yeah. - No, that's crazy. - Totally bonkers. - FBI, open up. - Yeah, I'm like, you're sketchy, dude. - Yes, can you send your child to this winery in the middle of nowhere unsupervised for us? Like, what? - Yeah. - That sounds insane. - It's actually like, it's like gross. - It's like weird. - You don't have kids, how long? - Let me take yours. - You're rushing off a chop, a chop, a chop, a chop. - Yeah, you're 11-year-old is gonna be alone here with a bunch of adults, they don't know. - At a winery, where they're drinking. - Yeah, this is atrocious. - No, that's awful. They want to cast a flower girl for a wedding and not even have a chaperone for this, it's a child. - Yeah. - No, they're making Ikea man look really good right now. - Truly, truly. A flower girl doesn't have to be a child. - Let me show you. - Let me show you. - I would eat that up. - I think it could be a slay. - Honestly, no, get the oldest person there. That's the ethic move. - That's gorgeous. Have her in a goddess wrap, fabric, and the flowers are not in a little basket. It's in the fruit of the loom baskets, and she's holding it under the arm. She's like cornucopia, and she's so gorgeous. - I'll do you one better, get a roomba. Let it just roll down. - I'm gonna suck them up, Shane. It's gonna suck the flowers up. - A reverse for five girls. - Yeah, a reverse for five girls that eats them up. - And then you know what they eat them up. - You know what he's supposed to use? You know, roomba's used to do that. - What? - Sucking air. Those flowers will be gone in the wind. (laughing) - It uses wind, no I love it. - No, so I'll thank you guys. - A bee, and a long bee clap. - No, this is someone who I think has just maybe not been around kids in a long time. - This is creepy as hell. - I don't know how kids work. They're just like, yeah, can we just grab that kid? - Yeah, they're like. - Give 'em a minute. - This is your kid. - Move flowers, has a kid. - Let that kid just run around, whatever. We'll give 'em some wine. - Yeah, there's so many weddings with no flower girl. Like literally, if the child isn't signaling, they're like, it's a really intimate wedding, except for this strange child will be throwing plants. (laughing) - They're calling up, they're calling up someone they talk to three times a year. They're going, yo, can I borrow your kid from my wedding? - Yes, absolutely. - You can't. - You can't. - I'm actually thinking about that now too. Like somebody that you see three times a year and just being like, can I have your stranger kid. - I don't think I do it. - It's like, who are you bearing? She's like, oh, my husband's name is William Afton. Just like, yeah. (laughing) - Yeah, no. - It's Phenath, it's Phenath. - Phenath. - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm like, yeah, okay. If my daughter wears a body cam. (laughing) - I'm not, like, that is down the aisle. - That is so beyond weird. I'm reporting you. I'm recording you with my child's body cam. - Yes. - Comments, you're right. This is bonkers. I'd be saying no, no matter how much she would love being a flower girl. I would not be leaving my 11 year old daughter alone with a bunch of people she didn't know who would be drinking 7,000 up votes. - I think about how scary that is to down the aisle. Like just the flower girl being like, I don't know anyone. - I mean, she said her daughter would be cool with it. But the person asking does not know anything about this daughter. They're just like, yeah, random kid. - Yeah, come on. - Absolutely. - Of course, I would never want to put a kid in that situation. - No, I'm sure too the mom is speaking in a way of like she would love to be the flower girl surrounded by maybe her relatives, surrounded by like people that she knows and is comfortable with, but put her in like a strange environment. And she's probably like, why am I putting flowers on the ground right now? But also like not even having a supervision. Like 11 is not even old enough to babysit a younger sibling when the parents are away. - Yeah. - That shouldn't be like. - Arguably like kind of the worst age to be stuck at a wedding by yourself. 'Cause you're not like a little tiny kid that doesn't like, you're 11. You're definitely like, what the hell am I doing at this wedding? - Yeah. - But you're also like not a teenager where you're just like, you're like, I don't know, that would suck. - I would suck. - I'm side-ying this family for the end of, tell the end of time. - Yeah. - I'd be like, you guys are sketchy. - Are you on a list? - I like that she, I just feel like I have to make note of it. I like that she was like, let me get back to you. - Yeah. - It's just like, immediately emotionally reacting and being like, hold on, is this am I crazy? And now she has the full wear with all, hopefully to call back and be like, no, definitely not when you guys are in love. - Absolutely not. Someone else said, it's also a red flag that the bride supposedly doesn't have anyone closer to her with kids than OP, who's an acquaintance. If they don't have any kids in their life, why would they want a random one in their wedding photos? Someone said, I think the red flag isn't that she doesn't know anyone with kids, but rather that she wants a child that she doesn't know at all to be part of her wedding for the sake of aesthetics. A child is not your prop, and yeah, obviously not knowing that kids don't just attend weddings on their own is daft. I 100% agree that the kid would be completely ignored once their duty was done. Someone else said, I would suspect OP's daughter is a beautiful child. and this entitled bride wants the appearance of a picture perfect wedding because all of the possibilities are creepy or just weird. - Right. - So once said, your daughter is not a prop for her Instagram wedding. - Yeah. - Yeah, exactly. - I'm hoping that's the reason. - Yeah, yeah. I would say that it's the aesthetics as well. Likely, she wants like that cutie all moment when the flower girl comes out and she wants everyone to be like amazed at it and it's just like, you can't get that. - No. - You don't have a kid. - Update. - Let's go. Let's go. We all, I hope we're not, boom, boom, boom. - We're here with the wind. We're here in the wind. - We have the wind with us. They say you're in the building. The wind is gonna speak to you now. Honey. - Honey. - Sorry. - Sorry, she's in the wind. - She's in the wind. - In the wind. - So this text message string is from a few months ago and I'm just getting around to posting the updates. - She's got screenshots. - She's got letters, she's got letters. - Text messages. All right, OP writes. Unfortunately, we are unavailable at that time. Sending warm wishes that you're wetting is everything you've dreamed of and wish you both the best in your new life together. Congratulations. - Classy. It's got free. - They write back for real. Two question marks. You're busy over a year from now. Just say you don't want to do it or are broke. Just say you don't want to do it or are a broken LOL. I was trying to do something nice and include your kid in my day and you can't even be honest, so rude. I don't know why you're acting like this. OP writes back. Come again, WTF. I tried to take the high road, but you had to push it. So let's get this straight. You asked me to dress up my 11 year old child, spend time and money to drive her two hours away to a remote winery and hand her off unsupervised to a group of adults she doesn't know just so she can perform in your ceremony. While I check notes, wait alone outside like the hired help. Let's call it what it is. What you are asking for is a prop, a glorified Insta accessory, not a guest, not an actual human being. I declined politely and you accused me of being rude. What the fuck? What's rude is treating my child like a decorative accessory, a fucking prop. If that's not bad enough right there, but then you add acting entitled to her presence without extending even the most basic respect to her parent. The fact that you don't even see a problem with this is exactly why the answer is no. Yes! Seriously, what the fuck are you thinking? You're completely delusional. Please stop texting because you can fuck right off. I won't change my mind. OK. My queen. They continue right. Reader, I have to confess that the two glasses of Cabernet Dragon woke up inside me. Yeah, I just need to. Yes, you're going to have a rant. Was it my finest moment? Absolutely not. Did I say fuck right off near the end? Yep, that was me. Yes. And I blame the wine and the fucking audacity of well, all of it. On the plus side, she never replied and it has been months. So I assume the role of unpaid child actor went to central casting and this episode is closed. Wow. Holy shit. Wow. So central casting got someone who's over 18 to play younger. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what? I am interested. Wow. You can get a Russia. And I will do it. What in the world? That's so crazy. To see actual texts and be like, damn, this isn't fake. Like, is this someone really did this or-- Thanks for real. For real? Like, just tell me if you're a crookie. Like, who there's going to be so many casting directors at this wedding. This is an incredible opportunity for your daughter. Hate that, hate that, hate that. Wow. OK. So she sucks. She's awful. Yeah, and-- We love a woman who's mad after a couple of glasses and what. Yes, we do. Yes, we do. Cabernet dragon, send a link. Do not talk to any woman after she said two glasses of wine. You're not going to get. No. Just you wait. No, you love me when I'm hangry. But you hate me when I'm two glasses of Cabernet dragon. [LAUGHTER] Hate that. And that's our speech. And that's why Brent and Sydney, you guys are the best. [LAUGHTER] Still better than Ikea, best man. [LAUGHTER] I'm-- I'm-- You guys are right. So, Brent, when you went to Chile's and you were to the triple-dipper, but you only found-- you found the one, though. And-- [LAUGHTER] But I'll always be there to finish your meals. And I love you. [LAUGHTER] I love it. Thanks. You're sitting in the crowd and you're like, OK, yay. Have a wish, mate, yay. I would pay money to go to a wedding, where the bride and groom are giving those types of speeches to each other that are so atrocious. Oh, yeah. Where it's like, babe, you're so freaking hot. You know, just want to-- Yeah, like-- Where she-- and she's just like, Brent. Yeah, I can't wait to make you pancake every day. For sure, babe. It's like, yeah, babe. Don't we do it all to a lot of me, babe. Of that. Did we-- All right, you say? Yeah. Stupid, and you're just like-- [LAUGHTER] Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. Oh, it's the best. Thanks for letting me game. [LAUGHTER] I'll be with my boy. Can we just go to Pound Town with you and then play Skyroom? [LAUGHTER] She's like, oh my god. All right, we have to move on. [LAUGHTER] We are? Our next story comes from Relationship Advice. He won't dance at our fucking wedding. I think I've found my deal breaker. Oh. It's a 25-year-old woman and a 30-year-old man. Oh. We've been together five years. We're engaged, planning a wedding, and he won't dance. Says he doesn't want to. He's even pushing for choosing a venue that has no capacity for dancing at all. What? Hasn't he for dancing? He's like, that's no money dance. No, that doesn't exist. At our wedding, I know I'm meant to offer a backstory about our relationship, but this is it. Our entire relationship in a nutshell. I want to do something because it's important to me and would take mere minutes of his time. And he won't do it because it's lame, slash boring, slash annoying. He is physically and mentally capable of dancing. He just doesn't want to. The same way he doesn't want to do the dishes or cook dinner or clean. So we're getting married, so. The second he wants to do something, we do it. No questions asked. I learned to ski for him. I put up with his family. I host parties. I don't want for people. I don't like because he wants me to. And yes, he does dance at those. I know. I do all I can to make sure his life is improved by having me in it because I want him to be happy. And I have asked for one fucking thing to dance with my husband at our wedding over a year from now. And he doesn't want to. And any push for him to do it leads to him saying, I'm pressuring him to do something he doesn't want to do. Despite the rant, I do love him. He's a good partner and we want the same things. And we've been together for years. And he loves me. But he won't dance with me at our fucking wedding. How do I tell him that this is important to me and I need him to do this for me without making him feel pressured? In the world, pressured to go like this. We cue back to what we were saying earlier of girls posting their boyfriends and being like, yeah, he, so he doesn't clean the dishes and he doesn't respect me. And then another, like, the second post is, guys, stop leaving hate in the comments. He's great. He loves me. She actually loves me. She led with that too. She was like, guys, this is what he's doing. And he's done this whole relationship, by the way. Like, she's like, this is the entire tone of our relationship, by the way. It doesn't sound like it's been a deal to break her for this person, but it should be. The wedding is the most important time to show up for your partner, arguably, for a lot of people it can't be. So if he can't do this one thing that he doesn't-- - Is it on her wedding? - She posted this on relationship advice. And I'm like, what advice are you seeking right now? Because you give us all this shit and you go, and but I do love him and he's actually great. I'm like, what do you, what response do you want here? - Okay, I think I've got it. I think I've got it, actually. - Okay. - It can get tricky when it's in the territory of like, how much am I changing this person versus how much are they helping me grow? And just 'cause I could see from her standpoint of possibly reasoning her way out of breaking up with this man, of just thinking like, oh, maybe he is right. Like, I am again, pressuring him or I'm asking him to do something that's uncomfortable. She has enough evidence, I think, to make the decision of no weight, like, he's dancing at other weddings and he's not doing things like household chores that make them on an equal plane. Like, that feels enough to where she should, but maybe that's the gap. That's where she's struggling is validating herself and feeling confident and separating from him. I'm sure he shows up in lots of other ways and she's not just listing them. - I hope so. - So that's probably what, like, masks over everything? - Yeah, it's hard, though, like, I have to assume there's a bunch that she's not telling us. 'Cause what she's saying is he does all the stuff he wants to do but never wants to do anything for me. And I'm like, well, if that's your, she says at the beginning, too, that's our relationship in a nutshell. And I'm like, so it's bad. - Yeah. - So you're telling us it's not good. - Yeah. - Like, she's being a good partner, but he is. - Yeah, he's not there for her. - She's making sacrifices for him, but he's not willing to do that. I also think it's just so. like knowing that he does dance, yet other gatherings and stuff that are when it's on his terms. It feels like he's making this choice control move. Like, I will not dance at R wedding. Like, 'cause I've been in a relationship where someone denies me a thing because they know, they almost find it funny that it hurts me so much that they deny me this one thing that is as simple as dancing at a thing. Like, and also I relate to a lot of this. Like, she's like, I learned to ski for him. I hear that and I'm like, oh, so is he not even willing to like get to know your family? Like, and you guys are about to merge families? Like, I'm obviously like, I have a personal bias in this one, so I'm reading into it. But like, oh, yeah. Wedding is, it's an important time. And like, some people get pre-marital counseling to like make sure they're doing the right thing. Yeah. Yeah, I think I would suggest that too. Yeah, I mean, 'cause I think what also she's saying is like, should I make this a deal breaker? Can mean a couple of things at once? It means, should I really hold strong to this and make him choose? Or is it like, oh, is this the reason that I break up with him? It's kind of like, it feels like it's both of those things. That's exactly what I was thinking as well. Of like, it seems like it's building up, the wedding is approaching, and now she's like, now would be a great time for someone to give me permission to get out of this, if possible, especially because dancing seems to be like, at least dancing at the wedding. It's something that she's clearly valuing, and she's like, well, this I really, really want. So now I finally have to ask the question, should I separate? Yeah. Yeah, 'cause it's not about the dancing. Obviously, dancing is fun and nice, but it's like, it's clearly like, oh, you don't see how much, when something is important to me, how it should be important to you too. And like, yeah, I hear you on like, is this my reason? Is it okay that this is my reason to back out? But it's like, being married and getting married is a big thing, like, you don't have to have a reason. If you don't feel ready, you don't feel ready. Yeah. But I think the counseling is a great option, honestly. It doesn't have to be like an end all be all of like, okay, great, you're not dancing, that's it. But it can be a conversation of like, so I've noticed this pattern with this, particularly, it's really important to me. I'd really like to figure out like, this stuff before we get married. And then in counseling, you can actually break it down, you might hear more situations or experiences that he's having, and that might be enough to be like, okay, I can make this decision and not do, go through with the wedding. Yeah. Well, a few comments here. Someone put in the quotations. That's a bigger deal breaker for me. Oh, he said, I can live with that. It's annoying, but he does earn slightly more and works an extra half an hour each day, plus commute while I work from home. And he's terrible at all forms of housework, so I figured that was just something I would have to live with and accommodate it for. No, he works an extra half hour. So I figured that was just something I would have to live with and accommodate it for it. But this is just, no, this is the limit. This comment was downvoted, no surprise. Yeah. Someone said, I understand you love him, but do you like him? Can you happily picture yourself sacrificing your happiness, your mental well-being, your time, just to not upset a grown man over the fact he doesn't want to do the dishes? It sounds more like you're his mom, to be honest, whether he's aware of what he's doing or not. I think this is the moment where you realize that no matter how much you give for him, he won't do the same for you, even if it's small. I would consider postponing the wedding until you were on equal footing to the point you can ask him to do this his part, and you feel like even your smallest requests are met with respect. Oh, he said, I like him most of the time. He's charming and funny and we're really compatible, but he can be such a pain in the arse when he wants to be. I do 95% of the housework because he either doesn't want to do things or he does them so badly that I have to fix it. I feel like his mother some days because of that. But then he apologizes and puts in an effort around the house and eventually he slips back. I'm gone in the wind, I'm just in the wind. Can I unpack this a little bit? Can we just unpack that a little bit? Just, he doesn't want to or is bad at them, which is weaponized in competence. And she's like, well, he makes a little bit more money than me, she still works just because she works from home, does not dismiss that she has a job. And so she's falling into a dynamic of male privilege. Sorry, guys, I'm saying in the word of like, well, because he doesn't want to, I'm going to assume this role, which people fall into. And it's not everybody wants to be in that role. And it sounds like she isn't satisfied with that role. Like, ooh, and it doesn't sound like she wants to be in that dynamic forever, but she's falling into a dynamic of, he's in charge, and he's in control. And yeah, yeah. That first comment was really big for me, honestly. I think I really like that that person just quoted it and said that would be a bigger deal breaker for me, because that then doesn't also put words in OP's mouth. And it doesn't say, you know, you should do this or like, you know, tell him this, because you're right. Like, not everybody wants that role. Some people do. Like, I think the best advice that this person should take, in my opinion, would be to just like reflect on her personal values and actually understand what she's looking for in a partner. If what she says is true that that stuff doesn't bother her, like, that's totally fine. But then, like, why is the dancing a bigger issue? What's the difference there? And really try to dissect. And I don't want to say negotiate, because it's not like a business deal, but compromise, maybe, communicate with your partner and be like, these are the things that are important to me. I understand that you don't want to do these things and I don't mind doing them, but can we do this? - This is reading to me, like, one of the stories where we'll get an update and she will then reveal the worst things that he's done, right? Because right now, this is sounding very controlling and you mentioned male privilege and it seems very much like his values are that he is first priority here. He gets to do all his stuff. She's not allowed to get her stuff. And that's just what he sees as being right. That he gets to determine the rules of everything. And a lot of it, you know, it's like, it's the unfortunate thing where maybe he's dumb and really bad at housework, but also a lot of people very carefully, you know, it's the weaponized incompetence, very carefully and strategically do everything to make the relationship super cushy for them. - Yes. - And this is just coming across as a real lack of respect for her. - Yeah, I saw like that. - If what she's saying is true. - Yes, I saw a TikTok that was basically that too. I'm sure you guys maybe saw it too 'cause it went really viral. It was like, this guy like folding a blanket while his wife was like cleaning the rest of the room and he was just like sort of pretending not to like, he was like folding it and then like, and then like unfolding it and just like doing that for like 15 minutes. - Oh, and she was cleaning like the rest of the room and then at the very end, she like comes over and grabs the blanket and like folds it in three seconds and puts it down and all the comments were like, hey, girly, like he's doing that on purpose. - Oh my god. - He's 100% weaponized in competence is what you said? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Yeah, like that feels like exactly like that. - Yeah, it was like pretending to struggle so he wouldn't have to do anything. - And then her next post was like, guys, he's really great most of the time. - Yeah, he cooks really well. - Yeah. Another comment said, ask him what the difference between dancing at the parties you have been at versus your wedding. Why doesn't he feel comfortable? What's the difference? Oh, he said, I already asked him that thinking that it was the amount of attention or the setting or if he thought he'd be a mess on the day. And I suggested compromises to help with these potential issues, like us dancing alone for the first three seconds to one minute and then having other couples come to the floor or letting him choose the song or literally just standing in one spot and swaying without moving our feet. - Just get a little drunk, let the music flow through you. - But he just says he doesn't want to and dancing at weddings is dumb/lame. - That's a lot. - Yeah, it's just. - Why are you getting married if you think it's dumb? - It's just like there's no, it's what you said. You're just not caring for your partner to be happy at all. If you know that this would make your partner smile, naturally I feel like you would be like, "Oh, then let me do this to make them happy." And this person's like, "No, I don't want to." - Yeah, that's not someone you want to marry. That's not respect. - No, no, no, no. - Update. (gasps) - You were wrong. - Run, run, run. - Run, run, run, run. - This was posted three days later. - Three days, three days. - Three days, a lot can happen in three days. You could be gone in the way. - You could be so gone. (laughs) - So my ex-fiancé. - Ooh. - Uh-oh. - Uh-oh. - Uh-oh. - It was dancing now. - No. (laughs) - So my ex-fiancé got dragged through the fucking mud on my first post and I say that in the most grateful way possible. I was alternating between defending him and resignation in the comments, but I ultimately decided to hash this out with him. Thinking that if I restated how important dancing at our wedding was to me, along with a few other issues the first post brought up, such as me doing overwhelming majority of the housework, and made clear that I was thinking of leaving, he might fully get the gravity of the situation and he would either shape up or ship out. And I think that from the tone of this post and the title you can tell which one he chose to do, he was actually angry that I dared to tell him I needed things to be more balanced between us. I said it needed to be give and take on both sides, not just me giving and him taking, and he said I can't just change everything about us right before, over a year are wedding. He took the ring back and went to stay with his family. The breakup happened on the same day as my post, so first of October. I felt really lonely the last couple days, so yesterday the third, I asked a few girlfriends to come over tonight, the fourth for a meal, or a drink, or a movie, or whatever. Two of the four people I invited didn't respond at all. The third was really hostile, and the fourth asked if I was aware that my ex was telling people he caught me cheating on. - Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! - And showed me some screenshots of an Instagram and Facebook post he made. I have a childhood friend, a guy, who I reconnected with last year. We never dated, but we're always close and fooled around once or twice as teens. And my ex had said he was fine with us being friends, but now he's saying that we were sleeping together. I've told the friends I contacted that what really happened, and while two of them have accepted that, the other two have left me on red. I've not even checked my own social media because I have no clue what I'll find. - Show them the red post. - I might need advice again. Any ideas on what to do about this? Regarding my ex, my friend who's been being accused, or the mutual friends that my ex has apparently already told. - Yeah. - And the link. - It's literally timestamped. - Staying, they broke up on Angela's birthday. - Well, this fully turned into what we expected. He's awful. - Yeah, my dog. - Probably was doing worse shit to her. - No, just making up that she cheated. What a child. - Massive, bold dog. - He did that immediately too. - Yeah. - So quick with it. - He was so ashamed and embarrassed. - He was just like, how dare you ask for it? - For you is insane. - Yeah. - Like any benefit of the doubt just completely dissipated. - There's one comment here and it's a big one. What he did as far as accusing you of sleeping with this friend is inexcusable. He cannot hold his own self accountable for the failures in your relationship. Your friends should know your character and have responded as so. - Yeah. - If they didn't, they weren't friends, or they didn't know you as well as you thought they did. Don't worry about what those people think. You've spoken your piece and there's not much you can do about their reaction. You know your truth and that's what matters. Your ex is behaving like a child and I hope you can move on and find someone who is more emotionally intelligent. I'm sorry you're going through this, but I'm glad you didn't marry him. Your future sounds like it would have been a nightmare. - Oh. - Well, he said, I think he knows how unreasonable he's being so he decided to make this bullshit up. So he's the good guy to our friends. - Yeah. - I'm glad to. I was expected to be devastated if we ever split. But when he took the ring, I felt almost lighter. I can't really explain it, not better exactly, but lighter. - Good. - I know that feeling. - Oh my God. - Wow. - Well, that sucks. - I mean, that just proves his point. If what she's asking is so crazy, then just tell people that. - Yeah. - Just tell them the truth of why you guys broke up. - Yeah, I mean, the red post, again, like it is exactly what was going on. - Yeah. - And that's just, yeah, the biggest bullet dodged. - Yeah. - And it sucks about the friends too, but that is a great point of like, I feel like if I saw something like that about my friend, I wouldn't be so quick to just be like, they're done. I feel like I would also want to hear their side of it. - Yeah. - Especially if they reached out and were like, hey, girls night, like, need some help, whatever, I'd be like, let's go get the scoop. - Right. - Let's figure out what actually happened instead of just leaving the red. - Yeah. - I think it's important for people to do that. - Boi! - Boi! - Please. - That's really rough. I feel bad for her. I mean, I feel really bad, but I'm glad she is out of that. - Yeah. - I think she, like, deep down knew. 'Cause like, to turn to red it was something like this. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Whew, that's rough. - You know, but she's out now. - She's been knew. - I have a feeling, if he's willing to turn to something that extreme, she's probably been pretty gasslet in that relationship. And so she's like, thinking she's crazy all the time. - Yeah. - And then, like, you just look like this angry girlfriend, when really it's like, hey, you're being mistreated all the time. - Yeah, no. - And then he just goes off and says, like, yeah, she cheated on this X. He was aware of, like, this person that he could perfectly stage this whole situation. - Yep, yep. And if she, it sounds like she doesn't have that many friends or, like, that strong of a support system, so she probably wasn't able to ask other people of, like, is this okay? And what I'm being told. - Yeah. I mean, we know nothing about it, but I just, just, yeah. Damn. All right. Moving on to our final story. This is not necessarily a story. We have a game to play here. - Oh. - If you're listening, I will do my best to describe the images that we're about to see. Wedding guests wore custom-made gown. - Oh. Okay. - This is mostly a photo post, so we're gonna play a game. Guess who the bride is. - Oh. - No. - Yes. - Oh my God, like, siblings are dating, but it's bride or guess. - Yes, yes, yes. - So for listeners, all right. For listeners, we have two women here. - Can I just describe the dresses? - Okay, Courtney will describe these dresses. - Can I help? Can I help? - Yes, yes. - We know, you know, like, we're like scallops. - Oh. - Uh-oh. - Oh. - Okay, okay, let's start with, let's start with the right. - Okay, so we have a dress on the left. - Okay, yes, yes. - And we have a left one. - Oh, you sit on the right. - You sit on the left. - No, that's good. Now, let's start on the left. - Okay, we have a knee length white, maybe satin, maybe cotton looking gown. Like a nice, but it's like a very plain, simple material. - Maybe cinched at the waist with a bubble. - Like a rhinestone? - Yeah, looks like some rhinestone. - But very small, not too shiny. - The bodice is fitted, has like some seams at the front. It's like almost like a corset kind of vibe. Uh, maybe like, I think I'm seeing like sheer sleeves. - Yeah, it has like tank top straps, but it seems like it's connected to sheer material. - Yeah. - As a long sleeve, and then there's a cuff. - A cuff. - So it's a long sleeve dress, but the sleeve part is sheer. And, and there's diamonds. - And there's diamonds in the upper gown. - And the upper gown. - Yes, the other one, the other one. - It's like a beige. - Uh, beige tan. - Yeah. - Off the shoulder, um, a lot of texture. - It's kind of like mermaid scale, tech like pattern, but it's like not the tiny. It's like big, they look like giant. - Yes. - Like beaded sequin. - It goes all the way down, and there seems to be somewhat of a veil. - A train of some type, yeah. - Yes, yes, sorry, a train. - It is extravagant. - Yes. - I will say the off white one looks like something you'd see at the Oscars. - And it's not like a, it's not like a bow. - Yes, I thought you meant the other one. I was like, the white one looks like a wedding dress, but like a simple hat. - It reminds me like what I wore when I awoke with you, where it's like, it's like simple, cute. - Yeah. - And then the one on the right, it's like, it's not like a ball gown or an a-line, but it's like a fitted kind of gown, straight down. - It's giving red carpet. - It really is giving red carpet. - The glam bought would eat it up. - Yes. - Yes. - Um, okay, so we're gonna take a wild guess. I mean, I think I know who the bride is. - I hope the photographer. - Yeah. - I hope. Well, it sucks either way. - Either way, it sucks. - Either way, it's bad. - I mean, one technically isn't as bad. It's unfortunate. The other one is like, because if it's, at least it's not white, but. - Oh no. - I think that's, it's so insane. - It's bad either way, right? - I think the least worst option, so like the better option is the one in white is the bride. - I, yeah, there's not, there's not one that's good. - Yeah. - So either way, you wore white and that's such a faux pas. - Right. - Or you wore the most insane, like, sight stealing dress you could possibly wear. - Truly, truly. - Like really, this is like, oh, this is like Met Gala. - And it's gorgeous. - And it looks like a wedding choice. Like some, some people like to do white. Some like to ivory or beige, people do this. - But it's like, man, if you have a dress like that, why are you wearing it to someone else's wedding? Save that for the event of your life. - Yeah, save it for something. - For your own, yeah. - My god. - Yes, okay. - So this is, this is mean either way. - I'm, I'm, the train is crazy if you're not the bride. - I guess, okay, do you know? - Yeah. - Yeah, yeah. - The train is crazy if you're not the bride. - Okay. - I'm loving you. - The train is the bride. - So you're thinking white is the simple way. - White is yes. - Here's what, maybe, here's what's going on. Maybe this is what happened. Maybe she knew that the bride was wearing off white or beige or tan and was like, oh, well, I'll wear white 'cause they're not white. - Yeah, yes, yes, yes, yes. - It's all perfect. - I'm not saying it's great. I'm saying that's the best possible scenario. - That is the best possible option because the train has to be the bride. I swear to god, I swear to god, Shane. - Okay. - If the train ain't the bride. - Shane. - White is the bride. - The train is on the gas? - No. - I am so sorry. - Uh-uh. - Uh-uh. - The girl in white is the bride. - Is the bride. - This is a gas. - A custom gown. - One of the photos. - Oh. - Oh. - Oh. - Oh. - Girlie. - Uh-oh. - What the hell, bro? - What the hell? - That is mean. - I'm dead in all caps. Left is the bride. - Okay. - Left is the bride. - It's from the original post. She doubled down and made a Facebook post about how women shouldn't tear each other down. - Oh my god. - Oh my god. - Says the queen of magging. - How dare she wear a train. - No one hates you more than the women who can't compete with you. They watch your every move, talk nonstop. Because if they talked about themselves, no one would listen. Let them bark from behind. Real queens don't tear each other down. Only mistresses do. Let's shine, babe. Keeps being pretty. - Okay. Literally not even eloquent in the slightest that all sounded terrible. - It makes you say, yeah, it makes her, I mean, she is awful. - Girl, why did you need to custom down to a wedding that you're not getting married to? First, I'm like, okay, if you had a gown that you were supposed to wear at this other event, it happened to need to be customized. You didn't do that thing. - How much does a custom dress like that, you think? - Oh, God, thousands. It's gotta be. - Oh, God. - It's got at least 1,000 stars. - No, and she knew what she was doing. She knew, because she went on Instagram and was like, don't fight me. Well, she was able to buy this custom dress from all the money and gifts that she stole from her fake wedding. - You're right. - That's actually that. - Yes, she's back in the wind. - Yes, comments, someone said, that's a gorgeous dress, but I thought she was the bride, 10,000 upvotes. Someone said, I hate the fact that I love that dress. Honestly, it would be amazing in any situation other than a wedding, and maybe a funeral. I don't know why she would dim her own shine by wearing it at someone else's wedding, and becoming the bad guy, instead of waiting for a different, more socially acceptable event to break it out. - Well said. - Oh, what the hell? Some people really go to far lengths just to like, make other people feel like shit, man. - No, it's actually making me think that that is the goal. Like, some people just like rage baiting. - I genuinely wanna be talk about like that. - And that her Facebook post is projecting big time. - Exactly. - Exactly. - One other comment, I found the post on Facebook and saw some pictures of her with her husband from the same wedding, and her husband was wearing a short sleeve button-down shirt with slacks. - Uh-oh. - Like, you look well put together in everything, but definitely a different vibe than the red carpet worthy custom gown, this main character wore. Honestly, based on the bride's dress, his outfit was probably more in line with the wedding dress code. - Oh, wow. - You know, his sounds closer to the vibe. - Yeah, it's like, she should have taken the train off. - At the very length. - The train is inappropriate. - I can't believe the bride even took a photo with her. I would be like, yeah, I think she took that photo on purpose. - Yeah. - Yeah, look at this. - So honestly. - This sounds like the bride was like, you know, this person bullied me in high school, but we seem cool now, and maybe I'll bring her, and it's like, oh no, you're the same person. - Yeah. - Oh my God. - Jesus. - Just a ton of people having to turn the other cheek at their own wedding. - Yeah. - But no matter how much shit comes between them. - They always stick together. - Yeah, shit guys comes out of the ass. - Well, man, those were some weddings. - We did, we did, we did wedding wedding wedding stories. - Wedding wedding stories. - We do. - Thank you both for being here. And, you know, both weddings were so great. Your wedding, which was real. - Yes, that already happened. - And that already happened. - Yes, and I just wanted to say that you love me when I'm hangry. (laughing) And I do. - I do. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Oh my God. - Before we go, we just want you to know that the next few episodes are gonna look a little different because Smosh is currently moving studios, getting a new space. And so, we're gonna be in a temporary space for a while. It's gonna look a little different for the next few weeks. And then, we'll be back in a new studio. And maybe we're gonna revamp it a little bit. Maybe I'll have a new chair. - We need to make sure it's contained for dancing. - Yes, no dancing allowed. - No dancing is dancing. - In the next reddit stories. - Yeah, and boring. - But anyways, we'll see you next week. Next Saturday. See you later. - Bye. - Bye, we'll be gone with the wind. - We'll be gone with the wind. - We'll be gone with the wind.