HELP. I'm Trapped in a Sitcom | Creep Cast

[MUSIC] >> Dance, dance, dance. >> Let's get this, Isaiah, can you hear this? >> Yes. >> Here, go ahead and sing this song. >> I'm a cat, cat, cat, cat, and a dance dance dance, cats. >> I'm a kitty cat. >> Hello, I'm sorry I asked about the room. >> Cat, I'm a kitty cat. So, dance, dance, dance, dance, dance. >> That was a beautiful rendition, Nick. Would you do me a favor? >> Baby, could you do me a favor real quick, actually? >> Baby, can you do me a favor? >> What? >> Can you get daddy just a little red bull? >> Oh, all right, daddy needs a little red bull. >> Nicky, Nicky, can you do it and give me a red bull? >> Thank you, princess. >> Okay. >> Make sure to sugar free. >> Nick, hurry, I need it. >> Can you see the stream now? >> Yeah. >> Okay, is anyone saying anything yet? >> Is that sugar free? >> Thank you, daddy. >> Huh? >> I'm going to read the rest. >> So, the writer's journey? >> What the fuck is Journey to the West, man? What does that mean? Are you maming me? >> What is that like Nazi propaganda or something? What the fuck are you talking about? I don't know what that means. >> It's Chinese Odyssey. This is the writer's journey. I heard it's a good writing book, so I was going to read it. >> Oh, my God, I'm just Chinese literature is in the other room. You know that, Nick, come on. >> Red bull. >> Oh, my God. >> What's it even? >> Oh, my God, sugar free. >> I'll come to the route one at a time. >> Oh, my God. >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> All right. Now there's people showing up. There it is. >> Wow. Sugar free. >> Okay. You guys can't see him right now. I'd Hunter refused to set this up in a way where you could see him, but he's -- you can hear him right now. >> Oh, my God. This is incredible. >> You guys, you can't see me. So, you're going to have to use your imagination. First off, let me tell you right now, Isaiah. You'll see this in the final cut on the edit, but you're going to see that I am completely nude right now. I'm not even joking. Completely naked. And I'm going to do this. Really, I want you to listen to this and then close your eyes, Isaiah. I can see it on the stream. So, you have to close your eyes. Ready? Ready? Ready? >> Yeah, I'm ready. >> Oh, my God. That was magical. Wow. Oh, it's good. >> This is just smart. >> Oh, it's good. I can't do this. I'm a father now. I have standards. Oh, my God, red balls. Oh, tasty. Wow. Okay, do you want to tell our beautiful little princesses and princesses what we're reading today, baby? >> We are reading two stories. Hold on, we got to do, we're recording. You have to do the answer. >> Oh, shit. Welcome back to Creepcast. >> Isaiah, you can't talk while I'm doing the thing because it throws off my groove. Okay, please, thank you. We've discussed this before. Now I have to do my whole, I have to do my whole remedy. Hold on. Oh, my God. Well, it's just every time it's so. Today we're going to be reading a beautiful story called, "Help! I'm trapped in a sitcom!" Season one, episode one. >> I have the other one, but there's another one that we're- >> Well, potentially, do you see how that's fucking busy? I got to see how much long we can do. I don't know if we're going to be able to have time to do that one. So we'll fucking fill it in later. We'll see. I don't know. Well, the other one if we get to it is I've uncovered videotapes revealing a malicious reality shows. Get it, sitcom reality show. The end of the episode is Creepie shows. Everyone really Creepie was more hyped about before Hunter started this podcast by moaning into the microphone, but whatever. You guys haven't seen it yet, but we've recorded an episode that I think is going up this Sunday by a writer known as Max Voynich. Max Voynich hasn't posted in six years, but we read two stories from them as part of a grab bag on the episode that'll be going up on the current week while we're recording, and there were both bangers. And then we saw the sitcom one, decided to give it a try. So the best way to reach Max Voynich seems to be his Reddit. I don't see any other links to his writing beyond that, but he's got a ton of stories on no sleep and the cryptic compendium and stuff like that. So be sure to check them out at the link in the description. Also for those that don't know, we are livestreaming this to the Patreon at the same time. So I'm seeing people's reactions curling by. I'm seeing a lot of water emojis and a lot of people with turk brownie profile pictures. So I don't, we'll see how this goes. So if you want to join this live stream next time, feel free to join our Patreon. We can hang out with these fucking degenerates that are spamming the chat. You know what? Never mind. Don't even do it. Never mind. This is enough. Don't even do what. Just don't even bother signing up. We have enough people in there. This is too much. Look at this. Jesus Christ. It is. I can't keep up with it. I will say Patreon has fixed the thing, I think, where the chat would be too much and you couldn't see the bottom of it. Yeah. So we're, it is better. I am stoked though, like I said, for the people here, the Rack King short story is really fucking cool. We were able to read two of the stories and both really good. I'm curious to see this one too. I really like, I love these, I really like these, these stories where I don't know, like, it's like a fourth wall breaking kind of meme. You know what I mean? Like a deal of some dude actually. I'm curious to see how he uses a screenplay format to create a creepypasta. It's going to be fun. No one said, well, this be Sunday's episode. No, as much as we hate our editors, we don't give them that type of turnaround times. They did. This will be a future one. Yeah. The one going, again, the one going up this week is this guy's story, but we recorded it like two or three recordings ago. Have you seen that, have you seen that, uh, that video that German kid playing Fortnite? To our favorite. I love that one. I love that one so much. Why did you bring that up? I don't really know. Oh, because people are saying, yippee. That's what I think. Because he does. Oh, the footnight. You spreeken. Yippee. My mom had never loved that I call a drink. That's cool. It's a spit. It's a good Fortnite. And drink cola. Yippee. And like the whole translation is like, I just want to pull. I do what's going to drink Coca-Cola and play Fortnite or something. And he has the most genuine yippee ever. What's Fortnite? It is a haunting. How much the Patreon, your people in Shatter just your minions say something. It's just like whatever it's so good point them towards the south. Before we recorded, Hunter was like, oh, we should stream as to Patreon. I'm like, well, yeah, let's do it next time when I can set everything up. He's like, no, we have to do it this time. We've got to do it right now. Listen, I said since you've been here. Since you've been gone. Hey, since you've been gone. No, since you've been gone, I've been me and the me and the Patreon chat. We've been getting down and dirty together. We're homies now. So it's been too long. I need to my fix with my with my Patreon pals. My PPs. That doesn't work. My Patreon, my Patreon friends. That doesn't work. Nope. I like that. Don't even go back to it. Don't reverse a reverse pair or a pair of social relationship. That's really cool of you. It's good. I'm not going to do that. says me. So like if it says me, you'll take those lines and I'll take everything else. All right. Sounds good. All right. Well, without further ado, are you ready to get into it? Let's go. Help. I'm trapped in a sitcom season one episode one. Season one pilot, an empty room, cathode rate, television plays, the images grainy, stretched over the screen like a membrane, theme tune, hollow, empty, a parody of something I have to remember. This is all I see. Living room. I'm on the couch. Tie undone, beer cold in my hand. TV is plain. I do know how I got here. Room feels spacious, opens itself up around me. There's a noise at the door. The lock slowly turns and the door opens. Well, I think I haven't applied. I'm sorry. Was my not fucking good enough? No, it wasn't. Well, the stream should have been able to hear it. Okay. Well, well, it like it's I looked over. I looked over at the audio bar and it was pink to read the whole time. I'm just fucking blistered. Your drums. Yeah, everyone's like everyone's like, yeah. All right. There you get it. We're in the mood. I want to do the one. I want to do the one where it's like, actually, dude, I can wait. Hold on. I forgot. I can. Let me know if you can hear this. I'm going to record this one second. All right. Now it should be on a button. So I should do. I can't hear that. Okay. That's unfortunate. Well, I tried. Okay. Well, anyway, I can do what else can I can do this to him. I just did an air horn. You're right. This is pretty cool. I can just hit sound effects. Everyone's like, oh my god. Jesus. That's pretty great. I like that. This is this is fun. You are right. Okay. Where are we? Oh, yeah, cheering applause. Oh, yeah. Hold on. Hold on. I freeze. What was that? For a moment, I think it might just be tonight is or the kettle whistling, but the sound is unmistakable. It's an audience cheering and as they cheer, my friend Bill walks through the door. Miss me champ. He moves his hands and his hips as he says, champ, a practice over the top motion. He grins like a wolf. Frozen for a second and there's a dead air in the silence. Did you hear that? Hear what? Champ. I frown. He must have heard it. It was loud and obnoxious. It was so loud I couldn't think. The applause, the cheering when you entered. Bill grins, wiggles his hips again, offers me a theatrical shrug as if to say no idea what you're on about. Well, at least so is glad I'm here. I don't think I'll laugh. Also for love of God, turn up your fucking mic so people will stop bitching and chat. I'm maxed out. It's touching. Well, then you need to lay down the law and tell them that it's fucking good enough. Okay. Okay. It's good enough. All right. You turn on your, listen to the stream for a second and see if you can hear. I heard it sounds fine. Okay. Then everyone else grow up. If I see one more, if I see one, if I see one more fucking comment about it, I'm we're in the studio. You hear me tell me tell me if you see one more comment right now. All right. I will. All right. Go ahead. Okay. I saw someone said turn it. You can't let them be. You can't let them. I have a year horn. Yeah. I think it. I freeze. What was that? For a moment, I think it might just be tonight is or the kettle whistling. But the sound is unmistakable. It's an audience cheering. And as they cheer, my friend Bill walks through the door. You've already read all that dude. I've read I've read already read all that. See, we're going to edit that out of the final cut. But now there's a live audience who knows that I do. You know why? It's because we have we have stage fright. See this is how it is. Yeah, it's because of those people fucking complaining and doing all those fucking shit. And it's so we don't so we don't get stage fright on stage. No, we get it when we're in our house recording. Okay. No, when I'm on stage, I just what I'm on stage, I just get the scaredy for it. No, you don't. Yeah, it reeks. I do a little. Are you giving me some of those? I was at the stage with you five times. You have never as I was the store. What was this note? You barely you are scared of breathing up there. Let alone. I feel like I feel like honestly sometimes you get you give it back to me because there are sometimes around like he is letting something loose over there. Don't say give it back. You can do you do. It's like Olly and Frazier trading blows is what it feels like on stage. Unbelievable. Well, at least someone's glad I'm here. Laughter. And as he says that as he speaks, the roomie rubs and laughter can laughter. I flinch try and look around to see if I can see the source, but nothing. The room is empty. There it was again, can laughter. Bill Winks swagger's towards me. Hey, you know it's not a crime to admit I'm funny, right? Bill cold sweat beat on my back. My hands become clenched fist. You can't hear it. Bill stomach rumbles. The only thing I can hear is that it's beer o'clock. Laughter again. This is I hate Bill. By the way, I fucking I actually despise Bill. I'm about to say Bill is you. This is an interaction between me and you. Without question. No, no, no, no, I don't know. I know. No, I'm not gonna acknowledge that. No. Wrong. That's 100% something you would say. Only thing I can hear is that it's beer o'clock. That's you. The swaggering of the hips, the like hips, the shea mentioned, that's also something you would do. There's a clip of you that's very of like well rounded on the internet of you setting at the back of your set and then spreading your legs in and out while staring at the camera. So. That actually never happened. I've seen it many times, many times. Anytime you say something crazy on pop and mate, I get a thousand replies the next day. They're like, is this you? This is your co-host. You're with this guy. You support this guy. I can't confirm it tonight. All I know is that I don't like Bill. Okay. I don't know. That says a lot about you. I think. Okay. I looked over that I made the mistake too. I looked over chat is seriously like a fucking like a Japanese ghost or something. I looked over the first thing I saw was fat cam. You know what dude? Why the fuck do I subject myself to this shit? I even said that I said they were my pals with the fuck is up with this. It doesn't matter. Go ahead. Go ahead and keep reading. So I keep saying Swig Break that's something you said, right? No. I'm pretty sure you said that. Okay. He jumps over the back of the couch and fishes a beer from the six pack that's in front of us. Is that always been there? I only remember one and the phone rings since when have we had a landline? It's an old fashioned sound. I'm a canicle shrill ringing that goes and goes. I imagine some brittle insect crashing inside a plastic case. I'll get it. Bill shakes his head, grabs my shoulder, he's gripping his tight. I try to shrug him off. Hey stop. He interrupts me. Look stead into my eyes. The phone's still ringing. Don't you not read it like that? Can you be perceptible? At least the discord picks it up. Okay, whatever. Bill? Please don't You know what, babe? Wherever you want. Sure. I'm not. My head hurts. Throbs against my skull. Am I hallucinating? Something about Bill almost shocks me, such a departure from his previous cheery demeanor. He looks panicked, older somehow. His teeth yellowed in the bags under his eyes or the color of a bruise. Okay, this is definitely me actually. That's you. Yeah, no, I'm too fucking Persian. Two Persian bags under my eyes. I'm just fucking absolute stained teeth. All right. I'm Bill Persian. He speaks in a whisper now. His tongue wet in the slower lip. Just please don't answer the phone. Cut to hallway. Mark it. I look at him. Thousand questions on my lips. He says nothing. He soaked through what to the bone. There's a gash on his forehead. "It's pouring out there." He chews a nail, tries to walk past me. I can see the bulge of some implement inside his coat, and smell petrol and smoke on his skin. He's breathing deeply, panting almost. He tries to walk past, he speaks. "Have you been here the entire time?" "I have no idea what he's talking about. Been aware." "Turns to look at me. Look at me as if I'm someone else entirely." "I'm sorry, I had no choice." When I turn to look, I can see that the hallway behind me, one mark is walking down, stretches as far as the eye can see. Halgian lights flicker. Mark turns around, offers the ghost of a smile. "I tried my best." "So is it like he's possessing someone else who's a part of the show?" "I don't know. All I know is I tried doing." That was my legitimate earnest attempt at a Joey Wheeler accent. It was atrocious. I'm going to try to wrangle in Mark's voice more, but that was horrible. To me, it's not like you were trying to do hysteriotipical like Raleota, mobster accent. "That's kind of what it's terrible then." Some people said you sound like Yogi Bear. "I'm also saying a lot of requests for you to fart into the microphone." "Don't give it to them." This is what you want. Once that hunter is mo-locked, that I agree with. I can get behind that. That hunter is a mess of the entertainment. "You know man, we're fucking hate." We're reading a story. We're not conversing with chat right now. There's moments for that right now where lock the fuck in. "You're so new to this man. I've had so much more experience now with this. Usually my streams run a little more smooth. I run a bit of a tighter chip, but that's okay." People just keep typing the word sniff as if they're sniffing there. "Yeah." "You know what's actually so fucked up." "No, no, no." "No, I shouldn't say it out loud, but I will say you would take the best paternity whatever photos. Like you and an autumn forest with a big bump, it would look so natural. It's niban. I mean, it would be unbelievable." "You know, it makes me furious about this. I'm not even looking at the chat, but out of my peripheral, when you start saying that, I can see it get faster. I can see more people and got something to say. I know for a fact too. You got that fucking tan-ass skin and stuff. You would have that crazy at stretch marks that starts right in the middle of your stomach and splits outwards that pregnant women get. You'd have one of those and you'd proudly display a fair-be-hairy ass fucking big belly sitting there holding it both hands. Easy, easy peasy." I don't appreciate a lot of the comments. People are publicly making about me and my podcast co-host, my business partner. Some of the things that are being said in chat right now regarding me being pregnant are just obscene. Oh, okay. All right. Okay. I want to keep reading the story. Cut to coffee shop. I don't remember how I got here. One moment we ran my apartment and then the hallway and then the coffee cup is hot in my hand. Small heart in the froth. When I look up at the barista, an attractive mid-20s woman bows her head and smiles dazzling white, geometrically perfect teeth, like small square tiles on a bathroom floor, I think. Do I know her? Bill's speaking. "And that's when I turned to her and I say, 'Talk about having a turkey!'" Laughter. That's what laughter. Uh-huh. The woman next to Bill looks familiar. Stacy. I remember now, a college friend, who had a thing with Bill until they broke up a few months ago. Still friends though. Stacy grins as well. Hope afterwards you made sure to flip her the bird. Laughter. The hoots. Uh-huh. Can you do the laughter effect for us? Ah! Ho ho ho ho! That's good. Can you just do the laughter effect from now on? Yeah. Okay. I flinch again. I can't see a studio audience anywhere, but I imagine them. Basis pressed against the windows behind us. Lariana does from bathroom stalls and from under tables. I watch Stacy's hands. Pales. Small against her cup. She takes her ride and takes two sugar cubes from a bowl in the center of the table, dropping them into the murky brown liquid. I can see how perfectly manicured her nails are. As I studied them closer, I noticed something. There. Under the nail. Blood. Blood. Blood and what seems to be dirt. I don't know dirt, then. Stacy. What's up with your nails? Were you cooking? It's kind of anything to say. Were you cooking? It's like, you assume it's dirt. What do you mean, or were you cooking? Oh, you were doing animals out of the ground, right? Also too. If you see bloody nails, how the fuck are you thinking that the brown thing under nails is dirt, not poo? May I wrong? Wouldn't you think that's just poo? Why would you think that's dirt? I'm sorry. I just see. Will you read the Wendigoon Impreg fanfiction? I'm gonna draw Wendigoon pregnant. You've started something. And it's so okay. Am I wrong, though? I know it's vulgar. It's nasty. But if I saw, if I saw perfectly manicured fingernails and I saw a little bit of blood on it, I wouldn't assume that the brown substance underneath it is dirt. I'm sure it's not just the color brown. I'm sure it looks like smear dirt. So you can tell the difference between dirt and poop. I don't know, depending on the kind of. I mean, I guess it kind of overlaps, but I imagine it looks like. I think the implication is it looks like she's been digging. I know why she's digging so much. Been digging at something, little scratch and sniff. It's what it does. I can't stand you with some of these alliterations you use for the grossest things. Okay. Her face slips for a moment, at least. That's the only way I can describe it. Like her features all shut down and reboot. She turns to me. Oh, f***. Don't be silly. A flinch. When she says my name, it's censored with the same beep they used to censor explicit songs. I watch her lips, but nothing. My name? What's my name? Pause. She's hiding something. Don't be silly as in a response. No, really, Stacy, that's not a response to my question. She takes a moment. The atrically examines her nails, runs her tongue over her glossy teeth, takes another sugar cube from the bowl. Examines it, drops it into her cup. There's something strange about it. The flat square planes of the cube disappear into the black liquid. Stupid questions get stupid answers. There's something in her voice. Something's shaking. She's only broken and weeping and desperate, but it's just beneath the surface. Only appearing in trimmers and ticks and should I try to do it? Should I try to do her line again, except more shaky? I think what you were doing was good where it's like stereotypical like Bimbo, Valley girl, girl, but put a little, put a little like twin drawn on it. Yeah. Yeah. If it questions, it's too free to answer. Somewhere between the two takes. See now with the live audience to get a CS workshop. You don't like it. You do this in episodes a lot where there will be a line and I just saw where's the windy tummy cam. I hate what you've done here. I hate what you've established. That was good. That was it. That's it right there. We do this a lot where we'll workshop little likes and it says the stuff. You're like, I'll put this inflection on it. Change that. Change that. Now you all get to see it, but all they care about is, but can I have the hairy windy tummy? Okay. There's something in her voice, something shaking, something broken and weeping and desperate, but it's just beneath the surface. Only appearing in trimmers and ticks and she starts scratching her face. Stacy, what's going on? She looks panicked for a second as if somewhere someone has said her name. Eyes wide, she leans forward, slams her forehead against the glass table in front of us once. The table shakes, coffee spills, the table is fractured and there are small shards in her forehead. She pats at the rivulets of blood with the tips of her fingers, then as if tasting a salad dressing. licks them clean. (laughing) Somewhere in the distance, phone rings. Bill's eyes go wide. He looks at me, cut to laundry mat. - What do you think is wrong? - I think it's, so it depends on the nature of what this is. If this is like an alternate reality, or just like some weird like purgatory or whatever, I think it's, you know the whole thing about like, if you're in a coma, you know, you hear a voice or you pick up a phone and you hear like someone from the outside, I think it's something like that. - Yeah, there's this, there's this movie that kind of harps on that idea that came out during the COVID era, like 2019, 2020 era called Come True. Really, really fun film, but it kind of has a similar vibe, very dream like kind of quality. - Which is kind of explain this weird, surreal dream that this person is in. Even though too, I can't tell is our protagonist, are they just like totally bought in that they're in this sitcom? Or are they still like, why the, what the fuck is this? 'Cause you don't think the David says so far. - They still don't know what's going on. They understand it's, they get that it's a sitcom 'cause they're like, it's Kansas studio laughter, they can imagine it. So they understand the format, but they don't know what's happening 'cause he's like, how did I get here and why is Bill? Does this person know me? Like he's still trying to figure out the logistics of it. I also really like how when she said his name, it was a bleep like a censorship. It's like whatever has him in here, is trying to indoctrinate him to be a part of this. Similarly to Stacy and Bill probably are, where you see their cracks for a second, but then they go back to the formula. - Losing their own identity would be fucking horrifying. Oh, it's the point where there has not been the protagonist has not said their name once since Gulfon. - So far, I really like the setup where it's like, 'cause he's acting completely reasonable. He's like, what's wrong with you? What are we doing? But it's in the backdrop of a sitcom, so it's so out of place. Or like that one where he says like, he says like, what's wrong with your nails? And there's laughter. That's not an answer quit like he's shaking it off almost to continue deliberating. So it's a fun setup, like to premise a lot. Cut to Laundry Matt. I sit on a chair reading a magazine. Since when do people read magazines or go to Laundromats? Something hurts behind my eyes. Presses against the corny and drapes itself over the front of my brain. Kathy has her hands on her hips, looking at me. As she talks, she stuffs the wedding dress after wedding dress into the open, pro-mouth of the machine. Seems endless. As if the pro-mouth leads to Chrome got some great rusted interior, coiled steel intestines and whistling iron lungs. And the throat, that continues forever and ever. The iron lung? Iron lung reference? Well, (beep) I don't know what to say. What? If you like her, you should just ask her out the old fashioned way. She keeps putting wedding dresses in. And with each new dress, they become progressively more and more soiled, covered in dirt and blood and yellow stains I can't identify and they just keep coming. They keep coming. There's no end to them. Like some perverse, marital magician, she just keeps pulling these wedding dresses out of a small plastic laundry box. And now they're ripped, just a bundle of blood stained threads, a handful of dust. I have expected to pull a rabbit out of the open mouth of another machine, some half dead gray thing, drowned in stomach filled with the suds and cheap detergent. But I imagine her smoothing its wet, matted fur, patting at the clumps of bubbles, the color of an oil slick. That's sweet. I don't know who you're talking about. I don't know how I got here. My head hurts, I can taste blood. I think I'm gonna be sick. (laughing) I think I'm gonna be sick if you keep running away from your problems. She seems perfect, made for you. I don't think I know you. I don't think I know anyone. I think my skin's too thin and it's stretched over the wrong bones. And she looks at me. Something passes over her face, puts it in shadow for a moment. Like the reflection of clouds moving across the surface of a lake. - It's always been like this, always. - Woo! (cheering) - Woo! (cheering) - I hit him with the applause effect again. - Oh good. - Good. - I think that this is stellar so far. I really like the thing. I think my skin's too thin and I think it stretched over my bones. And then she's like, it's always been like this. And then it's like the studio, which is representative of the force that has some trap, there goes wild. Like, it's like they're still treating it like it's a part of the sitcom or it's some big like revelatory moment or joke. It's almost, with the crowd goes wild, it's almost described like that near the end of sitcom seasons where like the two characters finally kiss or something and you hear everyone cheer and applause. It's kind of like that, but it's like, the stand-in is one character recognizing to another that their trap there, this is just how things are. That's pretty cool. Cut to a living room. My head hurts, spends a little. I'm set on a couch and I reach down, grip the edge of the cushion with both my hands and hold on tight. As if at any moment it might throw me off, as if it's the only connection I have to the real world. Bow leather bowl. I imagine a large brass ring around the bridge of my nose. That's the thing about men, really. They want a certain version of you. And on a date, you get to choose which version that is. So you go get it girl, dress to kill. That's what I see it. There in the bathroom, a woman. Visible from the living room through an open door, slumped against the wall, limps blade. Her next red in the wall behind her is covered in thin arcs of blood, elegant splatters that make a pattern behind her. Her throat's been slit. One of her hands is missing a finger. Her blood's running over the floor in the space between the white, perfectly square tiles. My stomach turns. Her eyes are so empty, so glassy and vacant. I can almost see the struggle, the brutality of her last moments, the short nasty violence that ended her life. And that's what I said. If you're gonna go wear this season's Prada, then you might as well wear the, uh, fuck, fuck. If you're not gonna wear this season's Prada, then you might as well wear Nada. There's a dead body in the bathroom. I've got, I'm on baby duty now. So if you hear the baby screamer, freak out or whatnot, it's just, it's part of the plan. So I love you. Oh God, PDA dude, keep it out of the frame. I'm gonna go back to the bathroom. Oh God, PDA dude, keep it out of the fucking stream, man. Yeah, everyone's saying baby Tonka. Yeah. That's a great, isn't that right Tonka? I love that name. Wait, is the baby on stream? No, no, no. I'm not gonna put an on stream, but she's off. She's in a bassinet over here to the side. She's witness to the stream. There it goes. There goes the baby cry. I hear the baby doing what can I do in impression of your baby? Go ahead. So talk to me as if I'm your baby. Hi baby. Is that what you say to your daughter? That's sweetie. Hello. Get back. Get back. Get back. Get back. Is that good? Keep it going. Give me another one, dude. You didn't know the one. Just one. Just one more. Hello. How are you? It's closing out on the micro. I can't wait for you to get canceled over. I can't wait for the expose a video in a year where it's like he would go on podcast in the Patreon server. And you would pretend to be his co-host. And you would sit there and you would pretend to be a baby. And everyone in the chat would be urging mom the sexual euphemisms. And you would pretend to be a baby. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. One day. One day all. It'll happen. Okay. Her skin is pallid. Drain. It's taken on a waxy quality. A muted sheen. It's just your line. No rush. I'm out of loss to me. It shows he's still in the discord. Maybe he had a mute his mic for something. That. Get with it. Did he's hard work for women? You think I shop all the time just to look good for me? I think someone's been murdered and their bodies in the bathroom and it's covered in blood. Aww. Hey. (laughs) Hey, dating isn't easy for guys either. There are three things I need to make a date worth it. Food, beer, bad more beer. You are so bad. I can see through the open door to the bedroom, a room lit by a dim red light, and there I can see a shadow moving, shifting. It seems to grow small and sway as if dancing. As if I think someone is in that room, and they're moving their body to a rhythm we cannot hear. Their skin shifting and riding up their leg like a dress and their mouth have open. Blood begins to pull around the body's legs. I can see that the incision on her throat was wild, sloppy. From the bedroom, there's the sound of a muffled moan. I don't think we're alone. I think whoever murdered that girl is still here, and I want them to leave. I want them to leave. This story is actually really well-paced. I like how the scenes go on. There's a presence here. Now there's this woman lying dead over there. I really think this is awesome. It's a shame the story is getting hindered with me being pregnant. I have a big one. I have fucked up the story. It is actually good. I'm not going to stop. I don't think you should stop, per se. I just more so want to outline that it's your fault. It is. I legitimately, I agree. I fucked it up. Well, no, I think that this show, because if someone really wants to read the story directly, they can go read it. That's what we pointed there. I think a lot of the appeal to this show is that we are going to ruin the story sometimes, and they're going to be for absurdist reasons. I think that that's fine. I'm just sitting here pulling concrete out of my hand. Have you showed them your updated hand? You guys haven't seen that episode. It's updated. It's looking better. I wrecked my dirt bike and absolutely skinned my hands open. This hand was just like you could see the muscle striations and there was blood everywhere. And in a couple of the last podcast recordings, I've had these really sick dogs and the handages on them. So funny. Yeah, yeah, I have the video. So I have the video on the security camera, the house. It's so good. [*Gunshot*] [*Gunshot*] You're getting ready to get a lot of Isaiah media. You haven't even seen his dentist photos yet. Wait till you see his dentist photos. Oh my God. You'll see this this Sunday. I'm not even joking. It's unbelievable. Unreal. Yeah. I actually, I have that photo right here. Do you want to give him a sneak peek? You can give a sneak. I would love to see it again. It's unreal. First off, I just want to say this is a dentist photo. It might be one of the most sexual photos I've ever seen in my life. First off, look how tiny it is. Look how extremely tiny it is. [*Gunshot*] Look at that. [*Gunshot*] [*Gunshot*] [*Gunshot*] [*Gunshot*] It looks like a donkey got Botox. It is unreal. Wow. It is criminal that they did this to you. Also did they take this photo in a closet? Where the fuck did they take this photo? You're going to be stealing. This is your dentist. You're going to be stealing these photos for research purposes. It looks like a Sabrina Carverdor Alvogov. One million percent. I'm a bad bitch. When I shot this photo for the first time he was all around. Oh my god. It is legitimately in the episode you'll see. You'll hear how genuine my reaction is. It is unbelievable. Well also just zoom it out to its normal size Isaiah. Don't. Someone said can we put it on a t-shirt? I want it to be the thumbnail. I want it to be the thumbnail of the episode. Be sure with that in the center. That's its original size. There's a lot of stuff going on with this. I think I lost connection for a second. I should be back now. Yeah. I think I'm back. Come back. Is it out? I were back now. What were you saying there's a lot of stuff going on with what? Make sure. I don't say it. It's not. I don't say it on life. Well, give it a sec. People are saying the lips are so powerful. It crashed the stream. There it is. There it is. One thing about this photo and we should get back to the story is the, what I don't understand about you. How many teeth are in the human mouth? Is it 20? 20? No, it's 32 I think. Also, people are immediately making it their profile pictures. It's really funny. I just want to say there are supposed to be 32 teeth in a mouth. Zoom in on this. There is like your, I don't know why, but your teeth, it just doesn't feel like you have enough teeth in your mouth. It seems like they just cover far too much room. It looks, it seems like it seems like in Isaiah's mouth, they're my. It might be 12, 12 to 16 teeth instead of the normal 32 at this site and it's rage. It's photo. This fucking photo is just unbelievable. It is unbelievable to give this. Wait, hold on. Send me, send me that photo really quick. I have to do something. You can send your server. It's on. I have to. I have to. I have to do something because this is actually going to blow your fucking mind one second. It's like three messages back. Okay. I see it. I see it. I see it. This is going to. I'm going to send you something back and I want you to be sure and show this. The context for everyone is I got a new Dennis lately and the new dance was like, okay, we just need your records from the old Dennis. So the old Dennis sends the records and the records quote unquote was a word document that had every like X ray and every dental picture I had on one page. They just copy pasted all of the pictures onto one page. So all of them were like super small and the new Dennis was like, yeah, we can't use these. But in the midst of all of the X rays in the dead center of the page was just this photo that I guess they just held the camera up to my face and took a flash shot, I guess. Oh, I'm a second. Oh, I'm a second looking. Okay. I don't see anything. Oh, I'm a second. I'm serious. This is very quick. I wanted to do another pass. But we should and I want to make this a photo. Look at those. Okay. Where are you sitting? You're cracking up. You're crying. I'm sitting here. It's okay. I wish I took more time. I need more time. I need more time. It's not like you're dying. Just a little more time. Yeah, I said to your discord. There you go. I need. I mean. I need more time. I was like. I'm wondering. This is exactly what I look like outside of the photo. I don't know what. This is exactly what. Why did you say. Oh, my God. What did you say this exactly what? This is exactly what because I was like. I would kill to have the rest of his face to see what. I'm like. God. So we need to put this on a. I'm sure with a dog. This is just my dog. It's all. Well, let me look at the German shepherd. Let me get. Let me get something. Let me. Look at this. I'm doing the word work right now. Can we do. Can we do. Can we do first that's just this on a white. Why not. You know what, man? Dude. This is what you tell people to chat. This is what you gotta tell people. You'll be like. You'll say people people will be like, what makes. Creepypasta's aren't scary. You're like, oh, yeah, look at this. And then show them this. *laughs* *laughs* Okay. Are we- Are we at the- *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* It's my own dog! *laughs* It's so stupid! *laughs* *grunts* *laughs* *laughs* Spread the word! Spread the word! *laughs* And then there's another one that's photo negative that's like the hidden picture they find. *laughs* As we edit- Okay. Alright. Should we go- *laughs* It's gone snoring now! *laughs* Someone said this is my first zone. *laughs* *laughs* Super realistic huge lips! *laughs* I got one more. Okay. Chad's not getting bored so we can edit this down in the final cut. Yeah, this won't be- This is the- This is where it's- Yeah, this is the- The good shit here. *laughs* This is the good shit. *laughs* It's time we record with this dream. Chad, it just becomes their show. Which is fine for them. I'm liking it. The final recording is not gonna be- The cypher bull. *laughs* Uh. *sighs* You gotta make this your- You gotta make this your profile picture on Twitter. Or on Instagram. *laughs* Uh, the number- *laughs* A bunch of people have now changed their picture to the one that's wronged of me with the lips. *laughs* Okay, this is- This is Hunter's newest. *laughs* Orte- *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* I- I like taking an actual image of me. *laughs* And then being like, "No, this is what it looks like." *laughs* It's my lips blown up like a thousand times. Oh, barely. Barely blown up. Okay, alright. My lips are pretty big in that picture. *laughs* I will admit. I love the idea that you're- They're like, "Can I just relax?" *laughs* "Is this what you do with your mouth?" *laughs* Alright, just kinda give us a little smile. *laughs* I like how you titled- *laughs* I like how you titled it. His lips- *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* *laughs* That sounds like- That sounds like the name of the creepy foster. *laughs* That is legitimately a creepy foster name. His lips don't JPEG is such a- *laughs* *laughs* Oh, god. Oh, god. Is that- Here we go. *laughs* His lips don't JPEG is so good. God, dude. *laughs* Okay. Alright, what- *laughs* I'm gonna look at Twitter now. *laughs* Is that up there? Just go look at my cow. Let me see. *laughs* Yeah, dude, it looks so good. It looks so good. *laughs* That's such a good profound picture. Here you go. Yeah. *laughs* It's a good stuff. *laughs* Okay. Alright. All right. All right. Yeah. Come back to the story. Back to the story. Cut to hallway. The work pushes past me towards the door. He has a coat on. Sorry. *laughs* Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hey, hey, sorry. Didn't see you there. He looks out of the window. It's starting to rain. Where are you going? No, we're important. Shifts on his feet. Look side to side. Don't worry about it. Touch car. I'm driving a small car. A car that I recognize is mine. The wheel is cool in my hands and has the car banged. Someone in the passenger seat falls against me. The radio plays soft, calm newsreader's voice. The wash is over me. Slowly, I tune into the individual words. I reach to turn it up. Thank you for joining us this evening. Reports of an arson attack are reaching us. And despite the heavy rain, a whole family was burnt to a crisp. I wouldn't have said that you'd seen members of the household trying to unlock the upstairs windows, but to know of a little bit of the rain. Stacy, sleep in the passenger seat. Shifts so that she's now leaning against the window. The rain licks at the glass behind her head. Windscreen wipers scrape a dull rhythm in front of me. There's a spade resting between her legs. She wakes up. Her eyes pinned open. Leans forward and wrenches into the foot well. What? What now? You cannot show this one though. Okay. You just said in here doing this. Instead of participating at the story. This is this is on this is actually the last one. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. Can you read your line now? Yeah. Where am I? I'm not going to say that. You have an idea what they'll do when they catch us? Skin was certainly something -- Skin is not mentioned about being tight. The haylots are getting closer. Can you just lock in just maybe it's time to follow the benefits? <Laughter. He said that it feels like my skin's thin, like it's going to stretch. And there she said skin's only so thick, it's only so thick. So yes, I can't do that. The headlights are getting closer. The beams illuminating the drops of rain like moats of dust in the sun. I can almost make out a figure behind the wheel. It looks half familiar. <Slipp out, used like an old wedding dress, stuffed in the attic. Slip wide open. <Laughter. Stacy starts to cry. Then as I try and fail to read what the sign would just pass reads, I hear it. A shrill mechanical ringing. I check the rear view mirror and there, on the back seat, is an old-fashioned black rotary phone. The receiver laid flat on top of the black casing, the strange numbered circle beneath. A dial, I believe it's called a dial. <Slipp out, used like an old-fashioned box, stuffed in the attic. Stacy wretches again into the foot well. Stacy wretches again. I shake my head. I was just in the car with Stacy and there was someone behind us and a phone, phone on the back seat. I think about it. brisk rost was pale grey lines. I start walking away from the reception desk through the lobby, and my feet don't make a sound against the floor, and it seems as if this room extends forever. No windows, same strange pattern on the carpet, circles and stars and numbers peed it until my eyes hurt. I'm dwarfed. Infinitely small as the lobby stretches out, away from me, in all directions. It's so empty, and I can't help but feel if there was someone else here, someone else treading the same pattern. It might not be so. I'm trying hard to remember, but I don't know what, and I could feel my face being pulled in all sorts of strange directions, and it's only then that I realize I'm crying. My cheeks are hot with tears, and I'm breathing in short, frantic burst. Somewhere behind me, an elevator chimes, doors slide open. I really love the way this thing's written. With you have these like otherwise mundane moments, settings of the hotel, the car, stuff like that, but you get these little clues in each step piece of some history behind, like the receptionist telling him, "No, you have to remember. You have to remember." And then like the mentions of skin and stuff like that, like you get these little bread crumbs, and then here he's starting to see, he's starting to see something like through this haze he's in. It's almost like I said earlier, he's in a coma and he's able to look out of it. The infinite hallway and the infinite lobby of the hotels, he's starting to realize the illusion. Yeah, he took a personalized hell, pretty much. Yeah, yeah. That's a nightclub. Bill slashes against the wall in an alley, lit by red neon from behind. The journey orange of streetlights from the front. He's smoking, black eye, front tooth missing, shirts brown with blood. But thank you, it's waiting for someone. I need to tell you something. You need to know this. It's important. I raised an eyebrow, might? When they come, you mustn't listen. They don't know all of it. The whole story. Right? He wipes his face. That's right. They don't know the whole story. He holds out the palm of his hand and in the center is a small hole, ragged at the edges, wet, red. Slowly, he raises it to his face, till I can see his eye through it. It started to rain. I can see you. Then quiet. So quiet, I almost can't hear a stage whisper. I went hard on myself. I can't sleep at night. I still wake and I look at the ceiling and I dream of hurting myself. It makes me feel sick and excited. Like six. Someone walks past and bill flinches, a woman in a tight black t-shirt, pants to your face, but she seems familiar. I've seen her somewhere before. There's some sort of design on the back of her shirt, screened, printed in red, a pentagram. Each pointed to start numbered and this star contained within the circle of its own, numbered circle. When she's gone, it's quiet again. Bill drinks from a hip flask saying, "Shaking, I can hear footsteps behind me." There he is. Okay, man, it's so cool. Bill is also in the village. He's putting on a character for the show. Then by putting up the napkin and looking at him through the hole, it's like breaking the fourth wall. It's like he's hiding his face so that he can speak honestly for a moment. Then when someone walks by, immediately, he goes away. That's so fun. Then the woman goes by wearing the pentagram with the numbers on it, almost like it's a spell or a ritual. Maybe this is demonic or satanic or pagan or whatever, which would make sense with the alliteration to read from earlier, like the red room at the end of the hall and then her, like the woman being blood out perhaps it's some kind of ritual that's being performed. Right. That's so cool. Cut to restaurant. I'm sitting opposite the girl from the coffee shop. She's so pretty, I think. She smiles again. mouthful of sugar cubes. She says her name is Ida. This place is so nice. I don't know where I am. I don't know how it got here. I think something very, very bad is happening. You do. Do you think for me? What in you? I don't know you. I don't know who I am or how I got here. I look around the restaurant. It's empty. I love the sitcom audience being a part of it too. Between the laughter, they're like the aw when he says he doesn't know how he got here. You're a mind to me. You know that you know that short film that made a lot of rounds. I think it was it cons a few years back. But the one about the girl who's trapped in the red lobster commercial. Yeah. Yeah. So like everyone was super hyped. This was now for a while. It kind of reminds me of that where each time the commercial goes by. She's like asking more questions. And I think it's one of the other guys than the commercials. Like don't speak. Don't notice it. And then there's like an entity that's controlling the whole thing. It reminds me of that a lot. Man, this shit like the descriptions you translate so well visually. It's empty. More alone. The other tables are set. Cutlery, plates, napkins folded, wine glasses, catching the light. But it's just us. I think maybe if I strain, I can hear the quiet murmur of conversation. Like the hum of a fridge in the background. It only surfaces if I really think about it. If I really concentrate. I know. I know who you are. Now you got here. I take another look around the restaurant, praying that someone else will walk in. A waitress or waiter holding a menu or a bottle of wine. But it's just us. Circular tables evenly spaced around us in every direction. The same tablecloth on each one. The same chairs. Stretching, I realize now, as far as the eye can see. I cannot see where the tables end. And for a moment, I have a feeling like vertigo. Like I'm standing at the edge of something vast and dangerous. A pine forest that stretches itself over the horizon. A swollen sea that laps hungrily at the boat. Problem is potential. Something out there. Moving in the spaces you cannot see. It's overwhelming. My head spins. The pattern on the floor looks familiar, I think. The tables go on and on. Until the eye cannot distinguish between them anymore. And they're just a blur. Pattern of their own. We print it on the edge of my vision. I picture myself for a moment, wandering between these tables for an eternity. Searching for someone. Anyone. I don't know what could be more terrifying. Realization I'm alone. Or the realization that I am not. Quite cough. I turn back to Ida. She's holding a black rotary phone. Holding the base in her left hand. The receiver in her right. She extends her right hand towards me. So that's in front of my face. She smiles. Written paper. It's real. Black and false cheer sounds that are static. Quite a close out effect. And then silence that are static. Wow. That was cool. I really enjoyed that one. Hmm. What a weird way. Do you think by answering it, do you think it seals their fate or do you think that you have to connect? Like I'm wondering what do you think is on the phone? So what I've to me, this sounds like the way the receptionist was saying you have to remember. Hold on. What's he's like? She said, don't you remember? Remember what? And she says, don't you remember? And then the lobby homes with energy. It's sort of quiet. But all the things we see around, because he doesn't remember how he got here. But all the things we see around it are very brutal, right? Like the red room, the woman bleeding. It's not just like a coma dream. It's like there's some entity here with them. And the woman in the pentagram with the numbers on it. So typically when you number a pentagram, it's like the order to draw it, right? Like where the stuff goes. Like a ritualistic pentagram. So perhaps he did a ritual, but perhaps he tried to invoke something for some reason. So it's like maybe he performed a ritual to get something and then got more than he bargained for. And instead of this creature given him what he wants, or like the steam and or whatever given him what it wants, it's kind of trapped him in this purgatory or this like. Yeah, I like the idea of it being that we are seeing the aftermath of the repercussion of something that we don't know, you know, some kind of bargain. I think it's interesting. It was good, man. I do think there was a fun one. I think I like I like Max's stuff a lot. Yeah, this guy over here. This guy does a great job of like taking the other two stories we read of taking these concepts that seem kind of basic on surface level like creepy kids and a creepy mansion or like trapped in just rituals or so much with rituals or so. Yeah, like a wrecking or rituals all that kind of stuff unknown kind of rituals. And I like that he just drops you in the center of it. It's just like this is just what it is, you know, have fun. I think it's cool. But Если вы думаете, что это идеальный парень, который подходит в их субтитры, то я бы уже have the movie for you. Я очень рада, что это видео был спонсор, с 24-х. Подъема, что его подъема, играет по Тенакирии. А что-то надеюсь, что он продолжает ее подъема, подъема, подъема, после того, что он был в его субтитры, то он был в последние три дня. Но тогда он began to realize that the thing she is covering in the podcast began to match things that are happening in the house. Personally, I was blown away with how effective some of the scares were, how inventive they are with the setting. The movie advertises itself as the scariest movie you'll ever hear, and I see why. Some of the cool things were done from the sound design, to back masking lyrics, to some pretty phenomenal voice acting. Not a lot scares me nowadays, but there were a few moments in this that certainly got to me. Especially when the movie started to incorporate real names of demons and Satanic figures in history, which you know how I feel about that. Undertone hits theaters March 13th, so if you're looking to have a good time and a terrible night's sleep, then I highly recommend you check it out. Thank you to A24 for sponsoring the show. Hopefully you guys check out Undertone while it's in theaters, and we are now back to the episode. I think I really like, so going off that implication, I think the person on the other end of the phone is either someone who was still, who wasn't taken to this place, like everyone else was. I also like the idea that everyone else who is in here had the same fate, right? Like maybe similar, you know, it actually reminds me of Hellraiser. Like in Hellraiser, they all get the box, and they perform the spell to bring the synabytes, and then they're all in that dimension with the synabytes, and can interact with each other there, even though they're from different times. So maybe like Bill's been here for a long time. He was someone cultist or something like that, and he's like real gunk ho, type of guy until he speaks truthfully for a moment. He's like, I want to hurt myself. I stay awake. I look at the ceiling. I dream of hurting myself. It makes me feel, oh, actually, you know what? What? This could be people here who have hurt themselves. Like feed the pig, I mean, like feed, like feed the pig. Yeah, could be that those who take their own life and up here, because you also have the woman who had the blood and dirt in her fingernails, right? Which that could just be digging or that could have been she was doing a ritual or she did something to hurt herself, and you have the woman in the bathroom who's blood out with her broke cut open, right? Maybe that's what he can't remember. And then you have these people speak honestly of themselves for a second. And then what was that line she said in the car where she says, you have the person on the radio talking about a family that's burning up in a house, which felt very reminiscent of silent hills in the PT demo where you're walking through when you hear the guy on the radio talking about a family annihilator. Do you have any idea when they catch us the skin's only so thick it's only so thick it's almost like they're running out maybe that's what was implied by the dirt and the blood underneath the fingernails that their deteriorating as they go through this. And they're trying to run for something they're going to be caught. The radio wants him to answer the phone, but Stacy says it's a bad idea for him to answer the phone. And then there was. At the end of the restaurant I just says this place is so nice and I just says you do anything for me wouldn't you and he says I don't know you. And then I just says I know you I know who you are and how you got here. My head spins and then at the end she hands. Okay, so I the people in the car bill and Stacy didn't want to answer the phone, but this I to character and also the voice on the radio wants him to answer the phone. And then I think that's probably the powers at hand. So they're in the end when she says I know how you got here and he imagines for a second infinitely wondering through this restaurant. And then she hands him the phone and says it's for you. I think she's probably one of the spirits it's a part of this or the thing that was his target originally made maybe I was his dead wife or maybe it's something he lost on. And then he said like some love he wanted to use a sacrifice or a spell to get to so now even though he doesn't remember her this is the object of his affection that would also make sense because she's the only one of the story described as beautiful back in the coffee shop right. So it's like she's being subtly planted there for him to see. And at the end when she says it's for you perhaps this is either him facing the repercussions of what he's done or going to the afterlife because the alternative to answering the phone is the vision he saw infinitely walking through the restaurant, whatever's on the other end of the phone it can't be worse than that. So yeah perhaps this is people that hurt themselves or perhaps this is people that have committed a ritual or both and now they're stuck here and now they have to play the part until they move on and I think a lot of people can't move on like Bill like Stacy and stuff like that. Aida is giving him the option to do so that is so much lore packed into like a fun format short little horror story like this. I love that. That's what we liked about Max's other story so too is the way that you're able to run wild kind of with ideas and thoughts just based on the story. Racking was a great which is the story going up this weekend guys. Racking was an excellent example of that where like there's so many theories you could come up with off of like a 20 minute little story because he does such great job is sprinkling the world building the dialogue was great too. Like the little moments of breaks. And when we weren't joking and stuff in between all this stuff this is one that I would recommend that like read it without two obnoxious host just like giggling and shooting their pants the entire time. I think I'm glad they were reading more Max's stuff. Yeah Max pointed I'd love to see some support for so he he posted a ton of stories. And then six years ago he posted like a compilation or like a master post of a bunch of the stories he has to read and we read three so far and they've all been phenomenal. But I would like to see him come back. I'd like to see this guy write more stuff. Oh. Others activity on the board now. Oh, this is in sorry this is an R slash Max boy that's not yeah as his own subreddit not the user Max pointed. That's right. Yeah the user Max Voynich hasn't posted in six years I don't believe so I would like to see him come back. He's a great writer. But yeah that was the story that was pretty cool. Yeah sick man. Well I think this is what we're going into our live today sorry we didn't schedule this if also to when this live goes when once this live is done it'll take a second for the process on Patreon that's why it's just not immediately live after we're done. But I'm sure I'm sure we'll post this one live and just have it up for you guys to listen to or we'll just wait for it to be edited nobody deal just a little on the whim kind of live stream so we will see you guys soon thank you guys so much for listening to this week's episode we will catch you in the next one. See you guys in the next one I had a point to make at the end of this camera for what it is now so I guess it doesn't matter hunter is absolutely impossible to work with and one day when I finally do it he will be responsible. [music] [music]